Is co-sleeping safe for babies? We asked the experts – TODAY
As a new mom, there’s nothing like having your baby close to you when you sleep. But is co-sleeping with a baby under a year old safe? That may depend on what baby co-sleeping means to you.
About 3,400 babies in the U.S. die suddenly and unexpectedly every year while sleeping, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). There are serious risks to some forms of co-sleeping, but many parents choose to co-sleep, at least occasionally, so it’s important to understand what the risks are and how to minimize them if you do decide to co-sleep with your baby.
Bed-sharing with baby
For many parents, co-sleeping means sharing the same bed as their baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the CDC both advise against sharing a bed with children under a year old because bed-sharing increases the risk of suffocation, strangulation and SIDS in babies younger than 12 months of age. In 2019, 28% of all sudden unexpected infant deaths (SUID) were caused by strangulation and suffocation in bed, according to the CDC.
“We may not be able to prevent all SIDS deaths, but we can minimize the risks,” Michael Goodstein, MD, a neonatology physician at WellSpan Health in York, Pennsylvania, and director of the York County Cribs for Kids program, told TODAY Parents. “Suffocation and strangulation are environment-driven problems that can be prevented.”
There are several things that make co-sleeping bed situations with adults and babies dangerous. For example, when you’re sharing the same bed, it’s possible you could roll over onto your baby while sleeping. Your bedding could also obstruct the baby’s breathing or cause overheating. There are also conditions that can make bed-sharing with babies under a year old even more dangerous, according to the AAP, such as if:
You’re bed-sharing with a baby that’s younger than 4 months old.
The baby was born prematurely or with a low birth weight.
The sleep surface is soft or has soft bedding like pillows, comforters or blankets. This increases the risk of SIDS by 20 times. Soft bedding is the single biggest SIDS risk factor for infants 4-12 months old, according to Dr. Goodstein.
Anyone sharing the bed is a smoker (even if you do not smoke in bed).
The mother of the baby smoked during pregnancy. (These babies are more than twice as likely to die of SIDS, according to a study published in April 2019 in the AAP journal Pediatrics.)
Anyone sharing the bed has taken medicines or drugs that may make it harder to wake up.
Anyone sharing the bed drank alcohol.
The person sharing the bed is not the baby’s parent.
The bed surface is soft, such as a waterbed, old mattress, memory foam, sofa, couch or armchair.
Sleeping with baby on your chest
As tempting as it is to catch a quick nap with your baby asleep on your chest, it’s a big risk. Sleeping on a couch, armchair or recliner with an infant increases the risk of SIDS death by up to 70%, said Goodstein. An adult could crush and smother the baby or the baby could become wedged between the adult and a cushion and be forced to rebreathe air (breathe in more carbon dioxide than oxygen), until it asphyxiates.
Sam Hanke, MD, a pediatric cardiologist at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and the founder of Charlie’s Kids, an organization that promotes safe sleep practices, learned this the hard way. As a new dad, Dr. Hanke fell asleep on a couch with his three-week-old son Charlie on his chest. Although Hanke woke up, his son Charlie didn’t, according to the organization’s website. It’s safe for your baby to nap on your chest as long as you remain awake and aware of the baby. But if you fall asleep too, it raises the risk of injury (or death) to your baby.
Sharing a bedroom with baby
Another form of co-sleeping with newborns is room-sharing. The AAP does recommend that babies sleep in the same room as their parents for the first six months — and ideally for one year. How do you safely co-sleep in the same room as your baby? Put the baby to sleep in a certified crib, bassinet or play yard in your bedroom. Use a fitted sheet on the mattress, but don’t add blankets, pillows, crib bumpers or stuffed animals. When safe co-sleeping guidelines are followed, this co-sleeping practice of room-sharing can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and prevent suffocation, strangulation or the type of entrapment that could occur when the infant is sleeping in the adult bed.
“We want babies close to us so we can hear if they get into trouble or accidentally roll over or get on their side and get in trouble,” Carolynne Harvey, a baby sleep consultant for 4moms and founder of Dream Baby Sleep, told TODAY Parents. If you’re in the same room, it’s easier to monitor and comfort your little one.
Room-sharing is also a convenient option for breastfeeding moms. Not only is it a short distance to get to the baby, it can help them continue breastfeeding, which can be further beneficial, since studies suggest that breastfeeding may reduce the risk of SIDS by 50%.
Breastfeeding in bed
It’s not uncommon for overly-tired mothers to breastfeed their infant in bed. In fact, the AAP recommends breastfeeding in bed over breastfeeding on a chair or couch because it’s a safer option if mom falls asleep and the baby slips out of her arms. Since a baby’s head is twice the weight of its body at birth, young infants don’t have the strength to reposition their head. If the baby’s nose leans against a surface like a pillow, a wall or a mattress, or even the mother’s body, it could lead to suffocation.
To reduce the risks of suffocation and overheating, breastfeeding moms should create a safe zone for the baby. Before bringing the baby into bed to nurse, all blankets, comforters, pillows, nursing pillows, and loungers should be removed from the area where the baby will be.
If you do doze off while feeding your baby, place baby on his back in his own crib, bassinet or other certified sleep device as soon as you wake up.
How to choose a safe crib, bassinet or play yard
The AAP also recommends that babies sleep in cribs, bassinets, portable cribs like a Pack ’n Play or play yards that are certified by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC).
Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing a certified sleep device:
The crib, bassinet or play yard should have firm mattresses with a snug fit — no more than two fingers width of space between the mattress and the side of the crib or device.
A firm mattress should not mold to the shape of the baby or allow them to sink in too deeply.
No matter how firm the mattress feels to you, don’t add a mattress topper if your baby is younger than one year.
Before purchasing a mattress or sleep device product, make sure it has not been recalled.
Cover the mattress with fitted sheets made specifically for that device.
Remember, there shouldn’t be anything else in the crib with your baby.
Finally, don’t put baby to sleep in a crib with drop sides or one that was manufactured before June 2011 when the current safety standards went into effect.
Free portable baby cribs
Anyone in need of a safe crib should be able to get one. There are local non-profit organizations throughout the U.S. that provide low-income new parents (or those expecting a baby) with a certified sleep device so their baby has a safe place to sleep. For a state-by-state listing of these organizations, visit We Have Kids. com or Cribs for Kids.org.
What you need to know about other baby sleepers
There are a number of sleep devices that are not endorsed by the AAP because the organization doesn’t have the data necessary to make a recommendation for or against them. These include bedside sleepers (those that are attached to the side of the parent’s bed) and in-bed sleepers (portable containers for baby that go in the parents’ bed).
It’s important to note that bedside sleepers that have one side that folds down pose risks for entrapment and suffocation. If a baby’s head goes over the half-side of the sleeper, it may suffocate if it cannot lift its head off the side. Bedding from the adult bed can also spill over into bedside sleepers, which could cause overheating, suffocation, strangulation or SIDS.
On June 2, 2021, the CPSC banned a range of sleep products that have accounted for at least 90 infant deaths. One of these types of products, inclined sleepers, puts the baby on a substantial incline of up to 30 degrees, which could cause an infant’s head to slump down, the chin to rest on the chest and compress the airway, and potentially lead to suffocation.
Other banned products include baby tents, small travel beds and portable bassinets. Manufacturers of these products have one year to conform to the same federal standards as cribs, bassinets, bedside sleepers and play yards. In the meantime, these items are still on the market, so beware. Your safest bet is to choose only those devices that are recommended by the AAP and certified safe by the CPSC.
Baby Won’t Sleep in the Bassinet? Why and What to Do (Complete Guide)
It can be so physically and mentally exhausting when your baby won’t sleep in the bassinet. In these scenarios, usually your baby prefers to sleep on you or in your arms. At first you might have found this adorable and loved the cuddles, but as the weeks fly by you’re finding yourself being held captive and having other things that need your attention.
2 Reasons Putting Baby to Sleep in a Bassinet Is Important:
Safe Sleep. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, your baby should sleep on a firm, flat surface which is a bassinet, crib or pack and play. This safe sleep guideline helps to minimize the risks of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,)
Long Game. When it comes to your newborn sleep we often don’t really know what we’re doing 🙂 and we’re so in love with our precious little person that we promote sleeping in arms. However, when it comes to baby sleep you want to think about your long game. Where do you want your baby to sleep when she’s 8 months? Ultimately she’ll need to be contained in a safe environment for sleep. That means introducing that environment now when preferences and habits are being formed.
4 Reasons Why Your Newborn Won’t Sleep in the Bassinet
I’ve worked with many parents who have babies who will only sleep in arms. Their ages vary from 4 weeks up to 13 months. I recently worked with a 2.5 year old who would only nap in arms. Why is that? While the drive to sleep is biological, the way we sleep is a learned habit and these habits start as early as 4 to 8 weeks of age. During that window of time you are teaching your baby what sleep looks like. At 4 months babies hit the 4 month sleep regression where they wake up to the world around them. This manifests with waking up more at night and taking shorter naps. If your baby will only sleep in arms this becomes a very trying time.
Seeking Comfort
It seems to me that some kids fight to sleep in arms more than other babies. My first question for babies who only sleep in arms is probing any circumstances that might have led them to seek the comfort of human touch more than the average child.
These circumstances include:
Reflux – silent reflux and true GERD
Parents are often directed to hold baby upright in arms after feeding
Reflux can be aggravated by being on their back – sleeping on someone often has the baby on an angle
Gas – sensitive digestive track
Mom having low milk supply/tongue tie or latch challenges
Being Overtired
When I was going through this I had no idea that babies have “awake times” that help guide a parent to know when they should be sleeping. I kept watching my son for “cues” that he was tired. I wasn’t very good at it really. I kept mistaking the signs of fatigue for hunger and I would nurse him. He was more tired than hungry and kept having a short feed and then falling asleep at the breast. This is very common. In addition many parents have a naptime or bedtime that is too late and when they try to put their little ones down in the bassinet they refuse. They are overtired and cry at pretty much everything. If your baby is overtired it’s probably not the best time to try the bassinet again.
Habit
The third reason babies refuse to sleep in the bassinet is because of habit. Often parents have an underlying condition that might have been overlooked such as reflux and these babies wanted to be in arms more than average babies. Or perhaps parents have been told to hold their baby upright after feeding and baby dozes off. In these cases baby learns that falling asleep happens in arms. In the newborn stage often this transfer to the crib or bassinet is feasible but as baby hits the 2 month mark she becomes more aware and rejects the transfer. She wakes and cries as soon as her toe his the mattress. Sleep is a learned habit, so she’s learned it happens in arms.
Anxious parents
When my son was born I NEVER wanted to hear him fuss or cry and wanted him to be the happiest boy around. So I never let him fuss at all. I always picked him right away. After helping hundreds of parents teach their little ones to sleep I can tell you one of the best things you can do in the early months is “be an observer.” You may put your little one down in the bassinet and he is allowed to express that he would prefer to still be in your arms. You can offer him comfort, touch and love while he’s in the bassinet and help him settle there. You don’t have to pick him up instantaneously. There’s nothing wrong with 3-5 minutes of fussing and can help you BIG TIME in the long term.
When my daughter was born I was determined to do things differently than with my son. I also knew what children were capable of. I loved watching HGTV in the afternoons with her sleeping on my chest. But I was also able to put her down in the crib for 2 to 3 naps per day while I offered her comfort. She would squawk, sometimes cry for a few minutes but the tears didn’t rattle me like they did the first time. I knew no harm could be done of her crying for a couple of minutes with me right beside her patting and soothing her verbally. Being patient and being an observer I learned to know her different cries and meet the root need, rather than muting them with the boob as I did with my first child. With my son I always picked him up right away and because of that he never wanted to sleep in the bassinet and sleep was a battle.
4 things you can do to help your baby sleep in the bassinet.
It is super frustrating when your newborn will not sleep in the bassinet. Here are 4 things you can do to help your baby sleep in the bassinet.
Work on the first nap of the day in the bassinet. This is usually the easiest nap to get a baby down for. Try the pick up and put down method to help make it happen. Put them down offer comfort with touch and verbally shsh.. Give your baby 2 -3 minutes to settle, if they are getting wound up, pick them up and calm them and then try again.
Focus on the timing of sleep. Most newborns need to be back to sleep between 45 minutes and 1 hour up to 2 months and about 1.5 hours in the 3rd month. If you surpass this time (except before bed during the witching hour) it can be harder to get your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Swaddle. Swaddling can help your little one settle more easily as it mimics the womb and decreases limb activity which can be distracting.
Move the bassinet a few feet away from your bed. Sometimes having them so close can be distracting for both of you to sleep. Move it a few feet away.
Be an observer. Give the bassinet a few minutes to work with your comfort.
Conclusion
If your baby is less than 8 weeks of age you want to be taking notes and observing your baby’s behavior to see if there could be reflux or gas at play making her uncomfortable and seeing your comfort more than the average child. If not, there is still time to work on getting your baby to sleep in the bassinet and introducing this new sleep space. For babies 4 months and older, if she will only sleep on you, you will likely have to do some “sleep teaching” to teach your baby that sleep can happen in a different way and work on undoing learned behavior.
If you want to grab my baby sleep timing chart click here:
Safe sleep for your baby
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KEY POINTS
Safe sleep can help protect your baby from sudden infant death syndrome (also called SIDS) and other dangers, like choking and suffocation.
Put your baby to sleep on his back on a flat, firm surface, like in a crib or bassinet. Do this every time your baby sleeps, including naps.
Put your baby to sleep in his own crib or bassinet. It’s good to share a room with your baby, but don’t share a bed.
Don’t use sleep positioners, like nests or anti-roll pillows. They can cause your baby to stop breathing.
Keep crib bumpers, loose bedding, toys and other soft objects out of your baby’s crib.
What is safe sleep?
Safe sleep means putting your baby to sleep in ways that can help protect him from dangers, like choking and suffocation (not being able to breathe), and sudden infant death syndrome (also called SIDS). SIDS is the unexplained death of a baby younger than 1 year old. SIDS usually happens when a baby is sleeping. It’s sometimes called crib death because the baby often dies in his crib.
How much sleep does your baby need?
Newborns sleep about 16 hours a day, usually in 3- to 4-hour periods. Your baby needs to eat every few hours, which is why she doesn’t sleep for longer periods of time. Your baby may get cranky or overtired if she doesn’t get enough sleep.
Don’t be surprised if your baby can only stay awake for an hour or two. Over time, her body gets into a sleep pattern. She starts sleeping for longer stretches, even during the night. If you’re worried about your baby’s sleep, talk to her health care provider.
Where should your baby sleep?
The safest place for your baby to sleep is by herself in a bassinet or crib. If you have multiples (twins, triplets or more), put each baby in his own bassinet or crib. Here are some do’s and don’ts about making your baby’s sleep space safe:
Do’s
Do put your baby to sleep on his back on a flat, firm surface, like a crib mattress covered with a tightly fitted sheet. Use only the mattress made for your baby’s crib. The mattress should fit snugly in the crib so there are no spaces between the mattress and the crib frame. The mattress shape should stay firm even when covered with a tightly fitted sheet or mattress cover.
Do put your baby to bed in his own crib or bassinet. Don’t bed-share. This is when babies and parents sleep together in the same bed. Bed-sharing is the most common cause of death in babies younger than 3 months old. Keep your baby’s crib close to your bed so your baby’s nearby during the night. The American Academy of Pediatrics (also called AAP) recommends that you and your baby sleep in the same room, but not in the same bed, for the first year of your baby’s life but at least for the first 6 months
Do make sure your baby’s bassinet, crib or play yard meets current safety standards. Visit the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to learn more about product safety standards or product recalls.
Do remove hanging window cords or electrical wires near where your baby sleeps. Babies can get tangled in them and choke.
Do keep the room at a comfortable temperature. If your baby is sweating or his chest feels hot, he may be overheated.
Don’ts
Don’t use sleep positioners. These sometimes are called nests or anti-roll pillows. They often are mats or wedges with pillows on either side to help keep your baby in place. The Food and Drug Administration (also called FDA) warns that sleep positioners can cause babies to die because of suffocation.
Don’t let your baby sleep in a carrier, sling, car seat or stroller. Babies who sleep in these items can suffocate. If your baby falls asleep in one, take her out and put her in her crib as soon as you can.
Don’t put your baby to sleep on soft surfaces, like a waterbed, sofa, soft mattress or cushion.
Don’t keep crib bumpers, loose bedding, toys or other soft objects in your baby’s crib. They put your baby in danger of being trapped, strangled or suffocated.
Don’t use cribs with drop-side rails. Don’t put portable bed rails on a regular bed. Babies can get stuck in rails and choke. Don’t try to fix a crib that has broken or missing parts.
How do you put your baby to sleep safely?
Here’s how to help keep your baby safe when you put her to sleep:
Put your baby to sleep on his back every time until he’s 1 year old. It’s not safe for a baby to sleep on his side or tummy. If your baby can roll from his back to his side or tummy and back again, it’s OK if he changes positions while sleeping.
Dress your baby in light sleep clothes. Remove any strings or ties from his pajamas and don’t cover his head. A blanket sleeper can help keep your baby warm without covering his head or face. It’s safe to swaddle your baby for sleep until he can roll over onto his tummy. But once he can roll over, stop swaddling. A swaddled baby who is placed on or rolls onto his tummy while sleeping may be more likely SIDS. Swaddling is when you snugly wrap a light blanket around your baby so that it covers most of his body below the neck.
Give your baby a pacifier. Pacifiers may help protect against SIDS. If you’re breastfeeding, wait until your baby is 3 to 4 weeks old or until she’s used to breastfeeding before giving her a pacifier. If your baby won’t take a pacifier, don’t force it. It’s OK if the pacifier falls out of your baby’s mouth during sleep. Don’t hang the pacifier around your baby’s neck or attach the pacifier to your baby’s clothing or a stuffed animal. Give your baby a pacifier for naps and at bedtime.
Don’t use home cardiorespiratory monitors as a way to reduce the risk of SIDS. These monitors track a baby’s heart rate and breathing. Some babies need this kind of monitor because of medical problems, but this is rare. There’s no evidence that the monitors help reduce the risk of SIDS in healthy babies.
How does breastfeeding affect safe sleep?
Breastfeeding for at least the first 6 of your baby’s life can reduce your baby’s risk of SIDS.
It’s OK to breastfeed your baby in your bed. Before you start feeding, move any bedding and pillows from your bed in case you fall asleep. If you do fall asleep, move your baby to his crib or bassinet as soon as you wake up. Breastfeeding your baby in bed is safer than on a sofa or cushioned chair.
Babies often fall asleep while breastfeeding, especially when they get full. If you think your baby’s asleep and hasn’t finished feeding, try to wake him gently by rubbing his back, tickling his feet, burping him or switching him to the other breast. If your baby’s not latched on correctly, he may fall asleep. You can break the latch by putting your pinky finger in the side of his mouth. Ask your lactation consultant to help you make sure your baby has a good latch. Latch is when your baby’s mouth is securely attached to the area around your nipple for breastfeeding.
Are there other ways to help reduce your baby’s risk of sleep dangers, including SIDS?
Yes. Here’s what you can do:
Make sure your baby gets all her vaccinations. These shots help protect her from serious childhood diseases and may help prevent SIDS. All children should be vaccinated for their own health and so they don’t spread infections to others.
Don’t smoke and keep your baby away from other smokers and secondhand smoke (smoke from other people’s cigarettes, cigars and pipes). Babies who live with smokers are at increased risk of SIDS. Keep your home and your car smoke-free.
Don’t smoke, drink alcohol or use harmful drugs during pregnancy. Babies of mothers who do these things are at increased risk of SIDS.
Go to all your prenatal care checkups during pregnancy. Babies of mothers who don’t get regular prenatal care are at increased risk of SIDS.
Can a bedtime routine help your baby sleep?
Yes. Your baby’s sleep schedule changes over time, but sticking to a routine can make bedtime easier for the both of you. Start setting a bedtime routine when your baby’s around 4 to 6 months old.
Here’s how to get your baby ready for bedtime:
Wind down any playtime fun.
Turn off the phone, television, etc.
Give your baby a warm bath.
Softly stroke your baby’s back.
Give your baby a pacifier.
Sing to your baby or play soft music.
Read your baby a bedtime story.
Stick to your baby’s sleep routine as much as you can. Plan ahead if your baby’s routine may need a temporary change, like if you’re going out of town travel or attending family parties. Change his bed time the best you can but try to get back to his schedule and routine as soon as possible.
What is tummy time?
Tummy time is when you put your baby on her stomach while she’s awake. It can help make your baby’s neck, shoulder and arm muscles stronger. It also helps prevent flat spots on the back of your baby’s head that she may get from sleeping on her back. Always watch your baby during tummy time or make sure an adult who is awake is watching your baby.
Last reviewed: February, 2019
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Sleep in Infants (2-12 Months)
What to expect
Infants sleep between 9 and 12 hours during the night and nap between 2 and 5 hours during the day. At 2 months, infants take between two and four naps each day, and at 12 months, they take either one or two naps. Expect factors such as illness or a change in routine to disrupt your baby’s sleep. Developmental milestones, including pulling to a standing and crawling, may also temporarily disrupt sleep.
By 6 months of age, most babies are physiologically capable of sleeping through the night and no longer require nighttime feedings. However, 25%-50% continue to awaken during the night. When it comes to waking during the night, the most important point to understand is that all babies wake briefly between four and six times. Babies who are able to soothe themselves back to sleep (“self-soothers”) awaken briefly and go right back to sleep. In contrast, “signalers” are those babies who awaken their parents and need help getting back to sleep. Many of these signalers have developed inappropriate sleep onset associations and thus have difficulty self-soothing. This is often the result of parents developing the habit of helping their baby to fall asleep by rocking, holding, or bringing the child into their own bed. Over time, babies may learn to rely on this kind of help from their parents in order to fall asleep. Although this may not be a problem at bedtime, it may lead to difficulties with your baby falling back to sleep on her own during the night.
Safe Sleep Practices for Infants
Practice the ABC’s of safe sleep: Babies should always sleep Alone, on their Backs, in a Crib. Place your baby on his or her back for every sleep, night time and nap time.
Do not put your baby to sleep on his side or tummy.
Once your baby can roll from his back to tummy and tummy to back, your baby can stay in the sleep position that he assumes. But always place your baby to sleep on his back.
Place your baby on a firm mattress in a safety-approved crib with slats no greater than 2-3/8 inches apart.
Make sure your baby’s face and head stay uncovered and clear of blankets and other coverings during sleep. If a blanket is used make sure your baby is placed “feet-to-foot” (feet at the bottom of the crib, blanket no higher than chest-level, blanket tucked in around mattress) in the crib. Remove all pillows from the crib.
Create a “smoke-free-zone” around your baby.
Avoid overheating during sleep and maintain your baby’s bedroom at a temperature comfortable for an average adult.
Remove all mobiles and hanging crib toys by about the age of 5 months, when your baby begins to pull up in the crib.
Remove crib bumpers by about 12 months, when your baby can begin to climb
For additional safe sleep practices for infants including information and video on choking, making a safe home environment, resources, swaddling and tummy time, click here.
How to Help Your Infant Sleep Well
Learn your baby’s signs of being sleepy. Some babies fuss or cry when they are tired, whereas others rub their eyes, stare off into space, or pull on their ears. Your baby will fall asleep more easily and more quickly if you put her down the minute she lets you know that she is sleepy.
Decide on where your baby is going to sleep. Try to decide where your baby is going to sleep for the long run by 3 months of age as changes in sleeping arrangements will be harder on your baby as he gets older. For example, if your baby is sleeping in a bassinet, move him to a crib by 3 months. Always practice the ABC’s of safe sleep: Babies should always sleep Alone, on their Backs, in a Crib.
Develop a daily sleep schedule. Babies sleep best when they have consistent sleep times and wake times. Note that cutting back on naps to encourage nighttime sleep results in overtiredness and a worse night’s sleep.
Encourage use of a security object. Once your baby is old enough (by 12 months), introduce a transitional/love object, such as a stuffed animal, a blanket, or a t-shirt that was worn by you (tie in a knot). Include it as part of your bedtime routine and whenever you are cuddling or comforting your baby. Don’t force your baby to accept the object, and realize that some babies never develop an attachment to a single item.
Develop a bedtime routine. Establish a consistent bedtime routine that includes calm and enjoyable activities that you can stick with as your baby gets older. Examples include a bath and bedtime stories. The activities occurring closest to “lights out” should occur in the room where your baby sleeps. Also, avoid making bedtime feedings part of the bedtime routine after 6 months.
Set up a consistent bedroom environment. Make sure your child’s bedroom environment is the same at bedtime as it is throughout the night (e.g. lighting). Also, babies sleep best in a room that is dark, cool, and quiet.
Put your baby to bed drowsy but awake. After your bedtime routine, put your baby to bed drowsy but awake, which will encourage her to fall asleep independently. This will teach your baby to soothe herself to sleep, so that she will be able to fall back to sleep on her own when she naturally awakens during the night.
Sleep when your baby sleeps. Parents need sleep also. Try to nap when your baby naps, and be sure to ask others for help so you can get some rest.
Contact your doctor if you are concerned. Babies who are extremely fussy or frequently difficult to console may have a medical problem, such as colic or reflux. Also, be sure to contact your doctor if your baby ever seems to have problems breathing.
Adapted from: Mindell JA & Owens JA (2003). A Clinical Guide to Pediatric Sleep: Diagnosis and Management of Sleep Problems. Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.
Parents Gamble With Infant Sleep Guidelines
Hi all, thanks for reading my article this morning on baby sleep recommendations. I’m excited to answer any questions you may have on the topic. Please note that I’m not a medical doctor—I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism—so please run any concerns you have about your baby by your pediatrician. That said, I did a ton of research and interviews for this piece and I’m happy to share what I learned. Perhaps just as relevant, I have a 9-month-old daughter so I’m in the same boat as many of you out there. Let’s have at it.
Since rolling over, my 8 month old rarely sleeps on his back, but I’m thinking that at this stage, the potential for SIDS is decreasing. Is that right? My other concern is what should be the temperature in the baby’s room at night? We have an old house and it’s been a struggle to maintain a cool temperature on the second floor. What should I be aiming for?
You’re absolutely right: the rate of SIDS peaks between 1 and 4 months of age and is uncommon after 8 months of age. There’s no need to run in and flip your baby onto his or her back.
Regarding the temperature, the AAP just says to “keep the room at a temperature that is comfortable for an adult. ” Have you tried a fan? Besides keeping the room cool, babies also seem to like the white noise.
It’s already pretty warm in D.C., so my baby has been sleeping in a onesie and one of those cotton Halo sleep sacks. She seems comfortable and is sleeping through the night. I stress about her temperature sometimes too, but it helps to remember that if she’s ever uncomfortable, she isn’t shy about letting me know.
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May 08, 2012 11:03 EDT
My daughter slept on her tummy and she was fine. She could not get any sleep on her back. But of course I also kept an eye on her all the time and did not have anything around her. I know some parents that don’t keep an eye on their baby unless they cry and even then some want them to cry themselves to sleep no matter what. In that case, they should have them on their backs. I don’t understand how some parents expect a baby to just be ok on their own so the parents can get some rest. Pediatricians fail to mention all the love baby needs to be happy rather then trying to tell you how to put your baby to bed.
I hear you re: the extreme emphasis doctors put on the sleep recommendations. My husband and I took a “Newborn Basics” class at the hospital when I was pregnant and it felt like a whole list of things you’re not allowed to do. I remember thinking, “It sounds like they want us to put our baby to sleep in the middle of the kitchen floor.” But SIDS is a terrifying thing, so we erred on the safe side and mostly followed the sleep recommendations (I cheated and gave her a light blanket sometimes). The doctors are just trying to keep the babies safe.
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May 08, 2012 11:04 EDT
Hi Rachel, have you heard about Rachel Moon’s latest study (from DC) showing moms who swaddle are about 1/2 as likely to put baby to sleep on the stomach as moms who dont swaddle. The key to safe sleep is laying babies on their backs…and using swaddling and white noise to boost baby’s sleep so parens arent tempted to use an unsafe sleep location/position.
No, I haven’t read that study yet, but it makes a lot of sense to me. The popularity of swaddling seems to be a direct response to the Back to Sleep campaign. On their backs, newborns tend to startle or hit themselves with their arms (which they can’t really control yet, poor things!). Swaddling helps prevent this.
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May 08, 2012 11:07 EDT
Once the infant can roll over, can you stop worrying about putting them to sleep on their backs?
The experts I interviewed said to put your baby on his back until he’s 1 year old. That said, if he’s strong enough to roll to his stomach, you can leave him in that position for the night.
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May 08, 2012 11:07 EDT
Do you think it’s possible that pregnant women and new mothers (not to mention the super conscientious gals who follow “pre-pregnancy” health guidelines) get so many warnings about so many things–warnings without a clear indication of how rare or common problems actually are, warnings without an indication of how likely it is that a bad event could be due to something they did or did not do, and frankly some warnings that are as much about society’s expectation of the mother role as about safety–that by the time they have a several month old child, they are experiencing warning fatigue?
Absolutely. I think these constant warnings are a hallmark of modern American parenting. My daughter has warnings on everything– her crib, her bedding, her teething biscuits, her lotion, you name it. It kind of drives me nuts, but at the same time, we want to keep our babies safe. It’s a tough balance.
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May 08, 2012 11:08 EDT
It’s shocking to me that despite all the warnings, parents put their own comfort ahead of the safety of their baby. Apparently it hasn’t been made clear enough that you cannot know which infant is vulnerable.
I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a parent putting his or her own comfort over the baby’s safety. I’m not sure what you mean–putting the baby on its stomach so that the baby (and therefore the parents) get more sleep? Or bed-sharing, or…? Please clarify.
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May 08, 2012 11:09 EDT
Thank you for taking my question! My husband and I are expecting our first child in July (YaY!). 20 years ago, when my husband was in high school, his girlfriend got pregnant. At two weeks old the baby died of SIDS. I have no idea how they had her sleeping. My question is, how worried should I be about an increased likelihood of SIDS? Is there ANY genetic predisposition? Am I worrying needlessly?
I haven’t heard of any genetic link to SIDS, but that sounds like a great question to ask a pediatrician. The bottom line is that as a new mother, you’ll probably be a little worried about SIDS no matter what, and all you can really do is follow the sleep recommendations.
Congratulations on the baby! You have so much fun ahead.
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May 08, 2012 11:09 EDT
I recently put a crib bumper in my baby’s crib after he started rolling over and getting his legs and arms trapped between the slats. He would frequently get both legs stuck in the slats (rolling over while sleeping) and wake up shrieking and flailing because he couldn’t roll back over. Our crib is new and meets safety specs, so it’s not an issue of having a shoddy or inherently dangerous crib. I know crib bumpers are bad, safety-wise, but are they still bad for babies who are able to roll over?
Oof, that’s a tough one. I’d ask your pediatrician for advice. One of my mom friends had exactly the same problem and she bought these new breathable mesh bumpers. Have you seen those?
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May 08, 2012 11:12 EDT
Do the rules change at all for naptime? Sometimes I let my baby sleep on her stomach when I’m watching close by.
Alas, the same rules apply for naptime.
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May 08, 2012 11:17 EDT
What do you think about babies sleeping on their side? Is this normal?
My baby just started sleeping on her side a couple of weeks ago (she rolls there after we put her down on her back). It’s normal, but make sure to keep putting your baby down on his or her back until they’re 1 year old.
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May 08, 2012 11:18 EDT
A paramedic friend ran a call where an infant had wedged her head into the bumper padding around the crib and suffocated. I’m sorry, but the bumpers serve no useful purpose. An infant hasn’t got enough force to hit his/her head against the crib in any dangerous way. They are decorative and dangerous. The same for soft pillows. Most babies will never be harmed, but why risk your precious one?
That’s a horrible story and a good argument against crib bumpers.
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May 08, 2012 11:23 EDT
Our darling daughter did not sleep through the night until she was over 2 years old. Really, I did not care where and how she slept. She first slept on my chest with me propped up in bed. Who cares about the naysayers of sleeping with your child! I got about 2 hours of sleep that way. Later, she was in our bed and I got 3 hours of sleep. She was sleeping on her side. Later when she began to crawl, still in our bed, she slept on top of us, on our pillows, feet on top of my head, propped up and laying like a drunken sailor on my husband. Heck we didn’t care, I was finally getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep on a good night. I really could not get into the parenting bed argument because the dirty little secret is that parents will do anything to get some sleep. Truthfully, if she had kicked the dog out of his bed and I got 8 hours of sleep, she would have been sleeping on the dog bed. The sad thing is that the dog and the baby were the only ones getting a good night’s rest.
Ah, the desperation of a sleep-deprived parent. That’s one thing that’s so crazy about this issue: parents are making these decisions about their babies’ sleep at 3 a.m., in the dark, when they’re just desperate for their own zzz’s. I get why it’s tough to follow the recommendations.
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May 08, 2012 11:27 EDT
As my son is far from infant stage, I’m curious why some babies are put down on their stomachs? He’s 7 now, and Back to Sleep was in full force already when he was born. He slept through the night at 3 months and always slept on his back– always.
It sounds like you had an excellent little sleeper! Some babies don’t sleep as soundly, or for as long. That’s when parents start getting creative with the sleep recommendations.
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May 08, 2012 11:31 EDT
Great article, Rachel. There can’t be too much information about such a sad and serious issue. I don’t have a question but wanted to pass along something I wish someone had told me before I had my son:
Sleeping on their backs is a very unnatural position for babies who have been all curled up and comfy in the womb for so long. So don’t expect a newborn to take to sleeping on his back right away. It may take a few days or weeks. Every baby is different, of course, but we ended up practicing back-napping during the day to get our little guy used to it. Yes, that meant a few days and nights of him sleeping on his side or stomach, but he finally got it after a while and became a terrific back sleeper … until he learned to roll over, that is!
This is more of an observation: I think the downside to so many recommendations and so much research is that parents begin to rely on it versus their own instincts and observations. These days, parents read endless books, blogs, etc., and once they get their baby home, they realize most of it doesn’t apply to their situation or causes them so much confusion they lose confidence and become like helicopter parents (even w/ infants). Personally, I familiarize myself with the “official” guidelines and latest research, but I also trust myself and spend time getting to know my newborn’s behaviors and capabilities (e.g., when she’s able to lift and turn her head). That, plus a pediatrician who you trust, are a great path to successful, somewhat stressfree parenthood.
That sounds like a very sane, balanced approach. I like it.
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May 08, 2012 11:37 EDT
I read a study (actually a few) that talked about some newborn babies not having developed the reflex to start breathing again once they stopped for whatever reason (I’m not a doctor so my explanation isn’t great). So they suggested having a fan (ceiling or otherwise) on while they are sleeping, because the constant moving air will stimulate them to continue breathing. Since we did not want to do the pacifiers at all for both of our kids, having ceiling fans on helped me to have a better peace of mind.
That’s really interesting; I haven’t heard that theory. I thought the fan was just to keep the room cool, since there’s a link between SIDS and overheating. I know a lot of the SIDS research right now is about babies’ automatic functions like breathing, heartbeat and body temperature. Scientists are looking into whether SIDS victims had pathway deficits in those regions of the brain.
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May 08, 2012 11:37 EDT
There is a movement in the medical community (I’m a Pediatric Emergency doctor) to delineate the difference between SIDS and a mechanical suffocation. An infant who dies lying face down, didn’t suffer from SIDS. That baby likely suffocated. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve seen “near misses” where a child stopped breathing because he or she was sleeping in an unsafe environment (on top of an adult bed, surrounded by toys, with a parent on a couch, etc). And I’ve declared dead babies who weren’t noticed in time. Once a baby can roll, they are thought to have the strength to lift their head if needed. My kids became stomach sleepers the second they learned to roll. But always start on the back. An adult may love a fluffy comforter, but babies don’t! Put your baby on its back only in a crib and keep toys and blankets out.
Thanks for chiming in, doctor!
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May 08, 2012 11:39 EDT
I find it disturbing how much bed press this gets. My babies slept with me (in a king-size bed) until they were nearly 2. There was a side bar, and I woke up the second they stirred. Our sleep cycles were synched, I rolled over and latched them on, and it was really secure and peaceful for them. There was never any crying at night, nor did I have to get up. The only reason I could see this is a problem is if the mother is a super-heavy sleeper, obese, or on drugs. So many studies support the benefits of this practice, yet it’s generally looked at as horrific in this country.
Bed-sharing is a very controversial issue right now, with loud voices on both sides. I can definitely understand the appeal, but there’s also a risk that comes with it. It depends what amount of risk you’re comfortable with and what works for your family.
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May 08, 2012 11:42 EDT
The “experts” come up with something new and new parents jump to obey. I agree that the statistics on SIDS and back sleeping seem meaningful, but generations of babies slept on their tummies. Ditto the blanket/no blanket, cool room/warm room discussions. New parents should not let themselves be fussed into a panic.
Parents jump to obey because the stakes could not be higher: the health and safety of their babies. I agree that the sleep recommendations can seem extreme, even hysterical, and new parents definitely don’t need more stress in their lives. But I don’t think the recommendations should be written off.
And–if I may–send a message to new grandparents: please support your children’s decision to put their babies on their backs, even if you think stomach-sleeping would be better! My mom kept rolling her eyes and making snide comments about “back to sleep” and it was not helpful nor empowering to me as a new parent.
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May 08, 2012 11:48 EDT
A breathable bumper is fine to use but once your baby starts to pull up and stand in his/her crib: take it out! They can learn to step up on it and try and launch themselves out of the crib.
My daughter rolled over before we stopped swaddling her and we were so nervous about her inability to move her arms and legs to get herself back on her back we slept on the floor by her crib for several days before finally just unswaddling her (she had been breaking out regularly anyway). If your baby is strong enough to roll over, shouldn’t we stop swaddling so that a baby can develop the strength to roll back over onto his/her back? Also, wouldn’t a loose
swaddle pose an additional SIDS risk?
It sounds like you made a good choice to stop swaddling your daughter. I don’t know if there are any real guidelines about when to stop–we stopped when my daughter started breaking out of it regularly (2 or 3 months old). Good question about the loose swaddle being an additional SIDS risk. I don’t know the answer though! We always had those special swaddles with the velcro (I think they’re made by Summer Infant). They’re alarmingly like baby straightjackets!
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May 08, 2012 11:58 EDT
Thank you, Rachel, for bringing up a great point! My mother was also judgmental about our decision to put the kids to sleep on their backs. I found with my kids that it never, ever, ever helps if we heap scorn and judgment on parents. It only alienates them and makes them avoid you.
A (somewhat) related example: when attempting to Ferberize our firstborn, he would cry until he made himself throw up. Repeatedly. Almost all night. After several nights and countless loads of laundry, we abandoned Ferber. My sister has not let me forget that to this day, and blames any issue he has — a bad grade at school or a fight with his sister — on my son’s failure to be Ferberized.
I don’t visit with that sister often.
That’s horrible about the Ferberizing, both that he would throw up and that your sister continues to judge you for it! Sleep training is such a touchy issue.
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May 08, 2012 12:01 EDT
I baby sat my great-niece for the first 14 months of her life, just a little while ago. It was a little nerve-wracking being in charge of such a helpless little gem. Putting her on her back to sleep was the only way for me, and getting all the loose stuff away from her so that nothing could get in the way of that tiny nose! Her head was a little flat for a bit, but when she had the strength to turn herself it adjusted to a normal curve. And during the day she could sleep on her tummy against my chest where I could feel her breathing just fine. Until those neck muscles are strong enough to move the head, I really don’t think putting them on their stomachs is a good idea.
Thanks for being here, everyone! Good luck with your little kiddos.
Rachel Saslow
Rachel Saslow is a former Washington Post editorial aide. She lives in the District with her family and writes about parenting and health topics.
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Sleeping safely | Ready Steady Baby!
For the first 6 months of your baby’s life the safest place for them to sleep is in a cot in the same room as the person looking after them, for all sleeps.
Sadly, every year a small number of babies die suddenly and unexpectedly in their sleep. Sometimes a cause is found, such as an underlying health condition, but often there’s no obvious reason.
You may hear the term sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) which used to be called cot death.
Sudden infant death syndrome
SIDS happens most often during sleep at any time, day or night. Doctors don’t yet know what causes it but it’s most likely to happen in the first 6 months. Babies born early and underweight, and twins or multiple babies are more at risk.
What increases the risk of SIDS?
SIDS is at increased risk of happening if you:
sleep with your baby in an armchair or on the sofa
share a bed with your baby and you or your partner smoke
share a bed with your baby and you or your partner have been drinking alcohol or have been taking drugs
smoke or smoked when you were pregnant or lived with someone who did
SIDS is at increased risk of happening if your baby:
is put on their tummy or side
gets too warm
sleeps on a soft mattress
sleeps in another room during the day or night, where you can’t see them
sleeps sitting up or not completely flat, such as in a car seat, as their head can roll forwards and affect how they’re breathing
was born before 37 weeks and/or born weighing less than 2. 5 kg
Breastfeeding your baby reduces the risks of SIDS
Helping your baby sleep safely
Always tuck your baby in with blankets across their chest and under their arms
Public Health Scotland
Since the Back to Sleep campaign began in 1991, the rate of SIDS has dropped by 80%.
For the first 6 months the safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot, crib or moses basket in your room beside your bed and in the same room as you, for all sleeps. You’ll also be close by if they need a feed or cuddle.
You can help your baby get a good sleep and stay as safe as possible by:
always putting them to sleep flat on their back on a firm flat mattress, and putting them on their back again if they roll over
tucking them in with blankets across their chest and under their arms
always putting them feet first at the bottom of the cot so they can’t wriggle down and get caught under the blankets
removing any bumpers, pillows or soft toys from the cot as these can cause your baby to overheat or affect your baby’s breathing if they’re too close to their face
making sure they don’t get too hot or cold – check their temperature by feeling their stomach or the back of their neck, and don’t go by hands and feet as they’ll often feel cold
keeping their head uncovered when they’re sleeping and taking off any swaddling or sleeping bag if they’re in bed with you
taking your baby out of their car seat when they’re not travelling, and out from a bouncy seat, swing or nest if they’re asleep as their head can roll forward if they’re not sleeping flat, which can affect their breathing
making your home smoke-free, and keeping your baby away from cigarette smoke
If your baby uses a dummy, use it for every sleep. If you’re breastfeeding, wait at least 4 weeks before giving your baby a dummy.
Make sure that any other family or friends who may look after your baby know how to put your baby down for a sleep safely.
Do not sleep on a sofa or chair
Never put yourself in a position that you can fall asleep with your baby in an armchair or on the sofa as this increases the risk of SIDS by 50% (Source: Baby Sleep Info Source and the Lullaby Trust).
Sharing a bed with your baby
Adult beds aren’t designed for babies. Before you bed-share, consider whether you think it’s a safe place for your baby to sleep. Check that:
your baby cannot fall out of the bed
your baby cannot get trapped between the mattress and the wall
your adult bedding can be kept away from your baby
other children and pets will not be in the bed at the same time as your baby
Mothers do sometimes bed-share when breastfeeding, however, without some planning and thought it can be very dangerous.
If you are breastfeeding while lying down, make sure your baby cannot roll onto their front. Try and keep your baby on their back, or move them onto their back once they have been fed.
If you’re thinking about bed-sharing, talk to your midwife, health visitor or family nurse about how to reduce the risks for your baby.
Baby Sleep Info Source has more information about bed-sharing
When your baby should always sleep separately
It’s never safe to share a bed with your baby if:
you or your partner have had alcohol or taken drugs (legal or illegal)
you smoked when you were pregnant
you or your partner is a smoker
your baby’s small or was born early
you or your partner are overly tired – less than 4 hours sleep in previous 24 hours
Your baby should sleep separately in their cot in these situations.
How much sleep’s normal?
There’s no normal amount of sleep and some babies sleep more than others. New babies sleep a lot – sometimes as much as 18 hours a day for the first month or so. But your baby probably won’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time to begin with.
Unusually sleepy baby
If your baby seems unusually sleepy they might be unwell. Always trust your instincts and get medical advice if you’re worried.
Don’t expect your baby to sleep several times a day and wake only for feeds and to smile, there will be some crying and grumbling.
Crying
When your baby cries and you go to them and comfort them, you’re teaching them the world’s a safe place. This helps them to develop the skills to sleep through the night.
How to soothe a crying baby
Plagiocephaly
Sometimes babies develop a flatter area either at the back of or on one side of their head. This is called plagiocephaly.
Plagiocephaly usually gets better on its own if your baby’s spending less time lying down.
More about plagiocephaly
Translations and alternative formats of this information are available from Public Health Scotland.
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04 May 2022
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The baby does not sleep without a breast
How to separate food and sleep? What if the child falls asleep only under the breast or with a bottle in his mouth? Dad and grandmother can put him to bed without feeding, and with mom, the child requires the performance of those actions that he is used to, and attachment inextricably links two processes: eating and sleeping, falling asleep and sucking.
Baby only sleeps with breast in mouth – how does this affect sleep?
At first, all mothers are touched when a newborn sucks sweetly, falling asleep at the same time. The baby is so calm and happy lying at his mother’s chest! Six months pass quickly enough, the sweetness of tenderness also dissolves. Mom begins to understand that the child now sleeps only with the breast in her mouth, the chances of putting him to bed without feeding are almost zero. Own fatigue has accumulated over half a year of sleepless nights and is ready to develop into a nervous tremor at the thought that another nightly marathon of constant feedings is ahead. Mom feeds, overcoming fatigue, sacrificing her own interests for the sake of the child. Are the best interests of the child in such a situation taken into account?
Feeding that turns into sleep is absolutely justified if the baby is not even a month and a half old. But from three months the structure of sleep changes, melatonin begins to be produced. From now on, the baby’s brain cannot reach deep sleep if it is involved in the sucking process. From six months, the sucking reflex is rebuilt into a sucking habit. Habits can be good or bad. Some can make life more pleasant and harmonious, others can limit freedom and harm health. As a rule, a person wants to get rid of the latter. In the same direction, we must act when talking about the habits of the child. If the child wakes up between sleep cycles, and he does not yet know how to fall asleep on his own without your help (for example, motion sickness or chest), then your task is teach your baby to fall asleep without your active participation. Try not to do for the child what he can already handle on his own.
What techniques can be used to separate food and sleep?
1) Trust a close relative to put your baby to bed from the age of four months. The child needs the experience of falling asleep not only with the mother. At this point, the child should not be deceived and try to hide from his field of vision without warning. Let a loved one come in advance, play with the child, then the mother gives complementary foods, offers breasts, only after that gives the opportunity to dad or grandmother to finish the process. Mom should not doubt at this moment, because. the baby is already tired, wants to sleep, a reliable person is next to him, he will help him fall asleep and feel safe.
2) Believe me, the main comfort and stability that a child needs is you, your peace and care, and not your breast or a bottle of milk.
3) Feed your baby during the day in a calm, familiar environment. Minimize distractions – TV , telephone, communication with other people. This is the time of your close communication with the baby.
4) In order to break the connection between food and sleep, introduce another element of the ritual between them. For example, when you are feeding, give your baby a soft toy in your hand, tell a story about it using simple sentences and onomatopoeic words. You can repeat the story twice. After a certain time, say that it’s time for “this bear” to sleep, let the baby show how to fall asleep. Turn off the night light. Explain that mom is nearby, shush. If the child burst into tears, then take it in your arms, soothe, but after that put the baby back in the crib.
IDEAS:
Reading a fairy tale can be used. While feeding in the chair, read a book at the same time, trying to interest the child, then take the breast or bottle, finish reading, put the baby to bed, turn off the light.
You can feed right after the bath while the baby is still in the towel, then put on pajamas and go to bed.
5) Between eating and sleeping, one more relative may join. After feeding, dad can read a fairy tale or hold it in his arms until he calms down, he will definitely not be tempted to feed the child, because mom comes out of the bedroom with a breast and a bottle. Most importantly, survive the first 3 to 4 days of training so that the child has the experience of falling asleep without feeding. At this moment, do not leave the child alone in the room, in every possible way calm him down with your voice, short-term strokes. In a week, the child will forget the past way of falling asleep with the help of the breast.
6) Do not turn off the light during feeding, so it is less likely that feeding will be associated with sleep in the baby’s mind.
7) At night, pause feeding from 12 noon until 4 or 5 am. Avoid frequent night feedings, do not feed more at night than during the day. If the baby wakes up an hour after the last feeding, let him drink some water from the cup (this reduces the habit of sucking). Do not let your baby sleep with the breast in their mouth.
8) Start feeding in the morning after 6:00.
9) Spend more time communicating with your child during the day. And he will not have an overwhelming desire to be with you at night.
10) Go to self-sleep learning. Remember that a crib is not for storing toys, it’s time for a child to sleep in it. It is safer for the baby, who is actively learning new motor skills. Child first daycare, and then put him in his bed for night dreams. The child should get to bed sleepy, but not sleeping.
Eating and Sleeping HabitsSleeping Melatonin Sleep Training
Self Falling Asleep Rituals Sleep Helpers
Baby falls asleep with breast only
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Bubu, yes, because it is problematic, because I’m already tired of this situation – lying on my side for half the night without sleep, while my daughter has a nipple in her mouth. She has been sleeping restlessly since three months, sometimes jumping up every one and a half to two hours, and you can put her to sleep only by letting her suck. It’s hard, the nerves give up. 9Kate I quit breastfeeding at 1.5 daughter years. I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now … she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of GV, the daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed “And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. That is, if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she doesn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep, even when she was sleepy and tired.0003
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Guest
Tough! Poor child, crawls under the bed to sleep) Can something close the space from the floor to the bed, does dust still accumulate there? After this, they did not regret that they were excommunicated from the guards? November 11, 2013
Bubu, yes, it’s problematic, because I’m already tired of this situation – lying on my side without sleep for half the night while my daughter has a nipple in her mouth. She has been sleeping restlessly since three months, sometimes jumping up every one and a half to two hours, and you can put her to sleep only by letting her suck. It’s hard, the nerves give up.
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bubu Time demands a breast – give!
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Guest
Kate, and that your daughter began to drink and from which (bottle , drinker, mug)? My daughter does not recognize either bottles or drinkers, if she drinks from a mug, she spills half of it. Yoghurts, kefirs, milk does not recognize, milk mixture too. Can only drink juice or water
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Kate
During the day she drinks from a mug, and at night we still take an avent cup with two handles to bed. Water does not just spill out of it, no matter which side you put it on. It’s comfortable. Especially if the daughter wakes up at night and asks for a drink. She can shed water from a cup, but not from such a drinker. And from dairy products he loves milk and cheese. After 2 years, milk can be given with cocoa.
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My daughter didn’t take a pacifier or a bottle either, although she tried to teach it.
Sleep only after prolonged milking, day and night.
Of course, I calculated feeding for up to a year, then the doctor told me to feed more (I had mastitis with the first one and my breasts didn’t fully recover, but here is prevention), in short, I fed further.
Oh, and then I remembered the doctors and my stupid post.
Wherever I just didn’t apply everywhere the answer is the same – if you want to wean it, give your daughter to someone for three days, damn it, to whom will I give her? One of our well-known men here set my back (they come from all over Russia), I told him that my daughter was already almost three, and there was no way to wean it, tantrums until the fall.
The only one who answered me is that she is not ready, she will be ready, you will understand, I say that I will feed before school? – he, no, wait half a year, everything will be fine.
So, three weeks ago we watched a cartoon with her, she is already 3.4.
A cartoon about Santa Claus and his daughter asks me – what will my grandfather give me, I say nothing without hesitation. I say he does not give gifts to those who suckle breasts since the child sucks boobs, he is small and he does not need a gift.
She was shocked and said I won’t suck anymore, of course I didn’t believe it because before that it was darkness.
It’s been three weeks since she didn’t suck her breasts, and she did just that, I’m in shock.
Yes, it was hard for the first 3-4 days.
Now we are writing a hundred letters to Santa Claus with orders for gifts “I don’t suck, I have to ……) .
If you have the opportunity to wean earlier, do not repeat my mistakes.
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Alyonka
Author You just described me.0003
My daughter didn’t take a pacifier or a bottle either, although she tried to teach it.
Sleep only after prolonged milking, day and night.
Of course, I calculated feeding for up to a year, then the doctor told me to feed more (I had mastitis with the first one and my breasts didn’t fully recover, but here is prevention), in short, I fed further.
Oh, and then I remembered the doctors and my stupid post.
Wherever I just didn’t apply everywhere the answer is the same – if you want to wean it, give your daughter to someone for three days, damn it, to whom will I give her? One of our well-known men here set my back (they come from all over Russia), I told him that my daughter was already almost three, and there was no way to wean it, tantrums until the fall.
The only one who answered me is that she is not ready, she will be ready, you will understand, I say that I will feed before school? – he, no, wait half a year, everything will be fine.
So, three weeks ago we watched a cartoon with her, she is already 3.4.
A cartoon about Santa Claus and his daughter asks me – what will my grandfather give me, I say nothing without hesitation. I say he does not give gifts to those who suckle breasts since the child sucks boobs, he is small and he does not need a gift.
She was shocked and said I won’t suck anymore, of course I didn’t believe it because before that it was darkness.
It’s been three weeks since she didn’t suck her breasts, and she did just that, I’m in shock.
Yes, it was hard for the first 3-4 days.
Now we are writing hundreds of letters to Santa Claus with orders for gifts “I don’t suck, I have to ……) .
If you have the opportunity to wean earlier, do not repeat my mistakes.
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#20
Kate
I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now … she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of breastfeeding, my daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed. And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. That is, if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she doesn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep even when she was sleepy and tired.0003
#21
Guest
You wrote that I feel sorry for your child.
#22
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#23
Yu
Did you leave her under the bed and go to sleep yourself? Kate?
#24
#25
My on Yves, the chest does not ask, but he does not know how to fall asleep. So I am rocking 12 kg in my arms, I have no strength
#26
Author
Guest 17, why did you change your mind?
I continue to sometimes help mothers, but I am against it only to improve, to prolong. In your case, you need to get away from the child for 3-5, there is no other way, but this one is also traumatic.
We are too carried away by the idea of Guards. We brought it to absurdity and we are doing harm.
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#27
#28
9000 9000 November 15, 2013, 00:01
#30
#31
#33
#34
#38
#39
She is ten months old. And for daytime sleep (if not a walk), and for nighttime, and at night, you can only lull your chest again. Otherwise, bitter crying, to the point of hysteria, no stroking, songs, hugs help. She never sucked on a pacifier, she didn’t like it, she didn’t suck on a bottle either. Moms with a similar situation, when did your kids outgrow this habit? Or did you take some drastic measures yourself? Non-feeding, childfree and just angry people, pass by. PS: I planned to feed for up to a year, but I see that we won’t skip a year, psychologically more or less comfortable for myself, I’m ready to extend it to a maximum of one and a half years. Ideally 1.2, but how?? To stress-free!
#40
Kate
I’m in exactly the same situation as you. I quit breastfeeding at 1.5 daughter years. I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now .. . she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of GV, the daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. T. *****. if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she didn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep difficult, even when she was sleepy and tired.0003
Kate
Still falling asleep with my finger in her pen. It also calms her very much when I pretend to be sleeping nearby (I close my eyes, I start to breathe slowly). T.*****. while my husband and I are awake, she almost jumps over our heads, but as soon as we fall asleep / pretend, she also settles down next to her and falls asleep. But all these methods are suitable for a baby from 1.5 years old, who already understands something.
For me, a child wakes up from 8 months old, sees that we are sleeping and then goes to bed on his own)))))
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#41
kkwik
I agree.
#41
Kate
Yes, she climbed under the bed at first, then stopped. No, I’m not sorry. If she began to excommunicate later from the guards, then it would have turned out even worse, because. the daughter would have been cunning and would not have refused the Guards so easily. Until a child can speak, his memory is weak and he forgets about everything relatively quickly. And when he already knows how to speak, then he will remember longer about this guards and will discuss it with everyone))
#44
Kate
Still falling asleep with my finger in her pen. It also calms her very much when I pretend to be sleeping nearby (I close my eyes, I start to breathe slowly). Those. while my husband and I are awake, she almost jumps over our heads, but as soon as we fall asleep / pretend, she also settles down next to her and falls asleep. But all these methods are suitable for a baby from 1.5 years old, who already understands something.
#45
bubu
Is it difficult for you to breastfeed your baby at night? Time demands a breast – give!
How to wean a child from breastfeeding
Do not rush to wean the baby from the breast. In the first 4-6 months, only breastfeeding is recommended, then it’s time for complementary foods, but mother’s milk in baby food is still of great importance.
The most appropriate age for weaning is 12-14 months. Why?
Usually by this time the baby is breastfed only 2 times a day, so weaning takes place without great difficulties.
A one-year-old baby begins to oppose himself to other people, to understand that his mother and he are different people. However, the baby still needs close contact with you, but now this connection is established not during breastfeeding, but in the process of communication, learning, and play.
It is believed that mother’s milk loses its unique properties when the child is 1-1.5 years old.
When and how to wean a baby in Novokuznetsk:
Clinic “Mother and Child” Novokuznetsk
When the baby asks for a breast, offer the baby to wait and distract him with an interesting game or toy. If a child forgets about his desire for a long time, this is a good sign.
During the day, the baby falls asleep without attachment to the breast.
In the evening, another person can put the baby to bed, and he takes your absence calmly. And at night, the baby rarely wakes up.
How to do it
Wean your baby gradually. First, skip one feeding (wipe and replace it with milk formula, and after a few days cancel the last one (evening). If you breastfeed your baby only once a day, lactation will drop dramatically.
Drink less fluids. Stick to a low salt diet.
Eliminate foods that promote lactation.
Do not express milk after feeding.
Take special medications with your doctor’s advice.
It is useful to play sports. Daily physical activity helps reduce milk production.
If the baby is not ready to give up the breast
However, both a gradual decrease in the number of feedings and a sharp weaning can cause a child to protest and even rebel. Indeed, from the very first days, feeding was associated with your image: at your breast, the baby not only satisfied his hunger, but also calmed down. What to do in such a situation?
Choose a comfortable nipple with multiple holes for your bottle.
Replace breastfeedings with morning walks, afternoon games, evening stories, conversations.
Do not awaken memories: do not sit with the baby in the usual place where you breastfed him. Do not change in front of the child.
If the baby has difficulty falling asleep and refuses to go to bed until you attach him to the chest, stroke his back, put his favorite toy next to him, read a fairy tale. Ask a family member to put the child to bed.
When a crying baby comes running to you for comfort, do not push him away. You will always be the most reliable protector and source of psychological comfort for the child. At every opportunity, tell the baby that he will soon become an adult, that only the smallest children suckle at the breast. Take the baby in your arms as often as possible, kiss him, play with him. Your baby should feel that mom has not forgotten about him, that mom loves him the same way as before.
Sometimes it is very difficult to guess at what age it is better to transfer a baby from breastfeeding to bottlefeeding. It depends not only on the baby, his readiness to wean, but also on you, his mother: on your health, your desire to stop breastfeeding and even your work.
Dear mothers, when to wean a baby from the breast is up to you, only a mother’s heart will help you find the right decision.
They say one of the most effective ways to wean a baby is to smear mustard, pepper or something else that tastes bad on the nipples. Is it worth it to do so?
Let’s try to imagine ourselves in a similar situation. For example, you want to eat your favorite cake. You take a bite and … suddenly you realize that instead of a sweet filling, you are offered spicy mustard. Will you be disappointed and, moreover, very, very offended? Now imagine how your baby will feel when he takes a breast smeared with mustard. Be sure: your baby will not only be disappointed, he may stop trusting you, because for a baby, mother’s breast is an “island” of absolute peace, security and love. Remember that weaning should be gradual and as natural as possible.
When you decide to wean your baby
If your baby gets sick during the weaning process, you may need to return to breastfeeding.
A baby should not be weaned from the breast if he has recently been ill or has had an intestinal infection.
It is better to wean from the breast in the non-hot season.
Do not leave your baby while you stop lactating. Such an act can worsen the psychological state of the baby.
Make an appointment
services – When and how to wean a baby
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When and how to wean a child
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My child does not sleep well – In our paradise – LiveJournal
I have been tormented with this topic for a long time. Before giving birth, I read every , and it was written there how much the baby should sleep. Well, when it turned out that everything is completely, completely different with us, I began to read literature, forums, and interview my friends.
And it turned out – there is a quiet, not noticeable to a childless look, a very serious war !!! Two completely different positions exist and prove their right to life. Both defend mothers with foam at the mouth – in general, it is known that all discussions of the children’s topic are usually very sharp.
The first position, and the most common one, is to TEACH the child to sleep. The child does not know how to fall asleep on his own, and the training is cruel, with crying, but this is done for the good of the child, and if you do not teach him to fall asleep on his own, then the child will be bad, bad.
At first, I was just surprised when I read the methods “leave crying for 10 minutes – enter the room without looking into the child’s eyes hiss quietly, quietly, it’s time to sleep and go out for another 10 minutes.” I firmly knew that this sadism would never affect me.
But Alice did not sleep in the carriage, and from the age of three or four she generally began to sleep only with her breast in her mouth. It was very hard to endure, she slept 3-4 sleeps either in my arms, or I lay in bed with her. At night – constantly with breasts, I was all numb, my joints ached, horror . … But I endured, we fought for guards and the problem of sleep was the tenth thing. Society put a lot of pressure on falling asleep with the breast. This is horror, this is addiction, you taught her, someone else cannot put her to sleep! My colleagues – young mothers – went to clubs and cafes, leaving the child with their grandmother, and I was breast-bound and at some point I myself believed that it was bad. A neighbor in the dacha came in – a young mother visiting a spa, with manicure, makeup and big eyes: “Are you holding her in your arms while she sleeps?? This is absolutely not normal!!!”. And I even broke down once – I tried to rock the baby in a backpack, not giving a breast, the baby was screaming, I was crying, it was 30 minutes of hell, which I will never forgive myself and never forget. After that, I decided to close the topic and endure, and wait until something changes on its own.
But when the child grew up to a year old, and at night she still woke up every 40 minutes in search of breasts, I again became alarmed – among our familiar children, no one slept like that, mothers were very surprised when they heard about our dream, and everyone repeated in chorus
And I started re-reading books again, more thoughtfully and seriously.
And so I read that a child who is accustomed to falling asleep with a breast will look for this breast until school, waking up every change of the sleep cycle, and their cycles are short, 40 minutes the first year of life, then a little longer. So we had… And that the brain of such a child does not rest, he sleeps superficially, and the brain will get used to it, and the child will suffer from CHILD INSOMNIA. And from this the child will grow poorly – because the growth hormone is released only when the child is fast asleep. And so on and so forth. And it all sounds very convincing. And these books are written by doctors. And if I can still write down a couple of them as cruel idiots, then somehow my hand does not rise. For example, Mr. Richard Ferber – really works at the sleep research center in Boston. He’s not an idiot, is he? So, it’s really all bad with us and I’m hurting a child ???
And almost all such books-articles condemn co-sleeping. It is written about its danger, about the fact that the mother prevents the child from sleeping, etc. , etc.
In America and Europe, this approach is practiced everywhere. There is an episode in Desperate Housewives about how a mother taught a little girl to sleep. Leaving her screaming, she went to the neighbors, explaining that it was for the good of the child.
A mandatory condition for this approach is that the child should fall asleep alone in the room. Mom should say goodnight and leave. And the child lie down and sleep. I read and could not understand in any way – how can a one-year-old child fall asleep on his own ??? For what? Is this really necessary? No other way? Otherwise, he will breastfeed until school and all sorts of terrible things will happen?
But when I read, for example, this (from the same Ferber): “What problems can arise? Some children are prone to vomiting and react with it to prolonged crying. If vomiting occurs during the self-sleep method, then go immediately to the baby, change his clothes, clean the room, change the bedding and follow the plan further, as provided. If you remain calm and confident, the child will quickly learn that vomiting does not affect your decision, and will learn to fall asleep on his own. ”
I felt bad – I could not imagine how I could bring my beloved, desired, tender, tame girl to SUCH??? Is it normal? Am I a sadist? It’s generally acceptable – so to scoff at those who can not fight back, so depends on you??? Or am I not understanding something?
Or another quote; “How long can your baby cry? It depends on the specific case. The most persistent, however, usually do not cry for more than 2 hours. Many give up after an hour.”
This is from here: http://www.babyblog.ru/user/Lomiel/75400 http://o1ga.livejournal.com/8146.html
LJ this approach is popular in the BABY community. But in the Lyalechka community, on the contrary, there are supporters of the second approach – the child does not need to be taught to sleep, you need to let him fall asleep as he wants, it’s generally good with the breast – there is no need to lull him to sleep, he falls asleep quickly and easily.
But it seemed strange to me. Maybe they are suffering and now want to punish others? After all, this is a completely different life – when you are attached to a child, when you lie all night in one position, when your husband has already forgotten that he has a wife … And now they want the same for others, angry crazy mothers.
Bowlby’s attachment theory is known in this community. And also about the fact that a baby, left without a mother, falls into a state similar to sleep, only not very useful, into the so-called energy conservation mode, his heartbeat slows down, his breathing goes astray, etc. And it seems that the baby is perfect sleeping.
And of course, in Lyalechka everything is entirely for co-sleeping. For the fact that the child was created by nature to be close to his mother, and only next to her he adequately sleeps, stays awake, lives, and only feeling her close, he can relax and direct his strength to his development. And that separate sleep kills Guards. And guards are very necessary for children at least up to a year, and preferably longer.
Two different worlds, where different children come from. Some sleep well and a lot from birth. Someone himself, there are those too! But this post is not about them and not about their happy parents 🙂 And someone sleeps well in a couple of weeks. Someone screamed just one night, someone only three, and especially stubborn people screamed for two weeks. But this is quickly forgotten, the kids sleep all night without waking up, and their mothers write in the forums: everything is fine with us with sleep, which I wish you too! And yes, of course, feeding at night is harmful! It is necessary to replace it with some water, but it is better to wean it off drinking and eating at night. After all, this causes caries !!! You didn’t know?? (This, by the way, is not so, I will post links to it at the end of the post). These forums are read by a mother whose child sleeps badly, with breasts, little – and thinks: what am I doing on this? Why are their children sleeping? Yes, and caries will be!!! And there is a search for articles on the topic “how to teach a child to sleep” . ..
Our pediatrician came, whom I trust very much. She said – the children have such a dream, they get enough sleep and subject to the search for a breast every 40 minutes. There is no mother, they do not get enough sleep. This is normal. My five-year-old son still comes to us every night. Another doctor came – my mother’s friend, a pediatric surgeon. She said it was ABSOLUTELY not normal. The child should sleep soundly and for a long time without waking up. Otherwise, it is NOT NORMAL. My son has slept alone since birth and is great.
And, of course, the experience of other mothers. So it turns out that those whose children sleep well themselves usually don’t talk much about it, because it seems to be the norm and what to say about it, we don’t often discuss that the sky is blue. But who HAD PROBLEMS with sleep, and then THEY LEFT or they were REMOVED, they love, oh how they love to talk about the fact that before that there was hell, but now hell. Moms do it with the best of intentions! They want to share experiences that will make life easier for those who are still suffering. Here is one of my friends from LJ weaned the child from the breast and he began to sleep a thousand times better, including 40 minutes left for him (that is, when the child wakes up every 40 minutes and looks for a breast). And she happily shares this news (well, still, I would be terribly happy too! 🙂 ) writes about this, they say, it’s all about falling asleep with a breast. As soon as it was removed – the dream improved, the child can oversleep for an hour, and an hour and a half, and two, and even three. And if my Alice was not absolutely the same age as the son of this fredness, and I would not see with my own eyes that it also took her 40 minutes, despite the fact that her breasts are freely available, what would I think!?? Of course it’s in the chest. But that’s not the point. The fact is that the brain grows, the phases of sleep lengthen. And her son lengthened, and my daughter. Regardless of the chest.
(However, it should be noted that all the same, a baby with a breast wakes up many times more often than one without a breast, more on that later. )
Or I was walking here in the company of mothers and small children. And they seem to feel that I have a dream – a difficult topic (or this is how I look simple:)). One came up and said that when her daughter was 14 months old, she left her with a nanny and flew away for 5 days to wean her and teach her to sleep. Arrived – the child is gold, sleeping. the chest does not ask. I was thrown into a fever from this story. She is worth it, such a beauty, well-groomed, beautiful. And she tells me this. I look at her little girl and try to think of anything but what she went through when she was left alone for 5 days. (J. Bowlby has a book “Separation” about the fear of separation from his mother. I hope that mother does not read it, which is already.)
In general, I could not understand in any way – how is it, why is there no consensus, WHERE IS THE TRUTH, BROTHER!!!??? Are there really no studies that provide unambiguous answers? I have a scientific-medical-psychological approach, and all these articles without references to research are not convincing. I had to sit down and spend time looking for research.
I found quite a lot of things, and those articles that put everything in its place for me. For those who are interested, read on 🙂
First of all, I checked the names of the authors of the Great Books on sleep training in PubMed. After all, if they are really so great, they should have publications and quotes.
Of all the authors of books on sleep training, there is Richard Ferber. There are a lot of his articles, I rush to read abstracts in horror. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Ferber%20R[Author]&cauthor=true&cauthor_uid=21423424 My English is bad, but I understand that yes, the man studies sleep disorders, all sorts of severe cases.
John Bowlby, who, of course, is about affection. But who will read Attachment Theory when there are easy articles without links, they say, stop yelling and you will be happy ??? Bowlby doesn’t write about sleep separately, but reading about SUCKING from him seems important to me for any future and young mother. )
Further, I found quite a few scientific papers on the topic of sleep (it is clear that there are heaps of them, but getting the entire texts and printing them out is a big job, I do not pretend to be scientifically complete, I was looking for answers for myself and I seem to have found them )
So, a lot of articles with literature reviews, descriptions of cases of sleep disorders and a bunch of links. They write about the same thing: This is a description of the sleep process: what it is, its stages. These are numbers – that is, sleep norms for children at different ages. These are the criteria for sleep disturbance, its types and types. The consequences of sleep disorders and the impact of these disorders on the life of the child.
Briefly, the situation is as follows: The child needs to sleep a lot, the tables are striking in their numbers, my child has never slept so much. Numbers vary slightly between studies. Here is a table that seems closest to reality (“Violations and features of sleep in children”, General Medicine 1.2010).
Further, sleep disorders are considered as complex cases, such as apnea, narcolepsy, somnambulism, suffocation, etc., as well as Difficulties with falling asleep and maintaining sleep.
Data on 12-month-old children suggest that if a child wakes up twice during the night, then we can talk about a sleep disorder. (I’m shocked. Seems like complete nonsense. Read on.)
I notice that the articles are similar to each other. Both ours and not ours. Actually, I know how these literature review articles are written. Each and the other are written off, roughly speaking.
Next, I see that outdated diagnoses are being used, such as increased intracranial pressure. An article that uses such data ceases to interest me.
However, the picture is still serious. I’m trying to understand how Alice and I, as well as a bunch of moms who feed a child a hundred times a night, have gone so far from science and sleep norms.
I delve into the topic and read the description of specific cases of illness, sleep disorders of patients. I see that the anamnesis is not described anywhere. That is, it may be described somewhere, but not in those articles that I managed to dig up and download. That is, it is not indicated what type of feeding the child is on. How does he sleep at home? Whether he was taught to sleep alone or not. But this is VERY important.
I see that the described cases are really severe cases, the child has a serious disease, neurological or mental. Well, like terrible nightmares, etc. The disease affects its development, and this is far from the only problem of such children.
I look at my chubby, happy baby and think something is wrong. Based on the results of such studies, smart uncles draw conclusions about how it is SHOULD to sleep. They proceed from VIOLATIONS and draw a conclusion about the NORM. And that’s not how it’s done at all. Sick kidneys cannot have a lot of protein, but healthy ones can. And so on.
Well, then I immediately found two articles that put everything in its place. In one – a detailed description of the method of studying sleep, which is now used throughout the world. It’s called POLYSOMNOGRAPHY. Very good, everyone praises and admires. True, it allows you to take a lot of indicators, to study sleep from all sides, so to speak.
This method is carried out in the laboratory and looks like this (from the article “Polysomnography in the diagnosis of sleep disorders in children”, Russian Bulletin of Perinatology and Pediatrics, 5, 2008):
I immediately had a lot of questions. Is it possible to examine my child in this way??? Who has been sleeping with me since birth, who is constantly turning around, looking for breasts, pissing in a basin?? No no and one more time no. So you can study the one who ALREADY sleeps separately, who can wake up, drink a bottle and sleep further. (important! if the child really has sleep disorders – not in the sense of sleeping in his mother’s arms, but without them he does not sleep, but in the sense he cannot fall asleep deeply at all, his eyes run under closed eyelids, convulsions or something else serious – then yes, then they study like that, sometimes they even put sensors on the mother’s hands, but this is already about illness, about serious problems, and not about “he wakes up 6 times a night to suck on his breast!”) And then, according to this method of studying sleep, articles are written about SICK children, and who will bring healthy children to the laboratory? And mothers read this and become alarmed: my child sleeps wrong.
Another article that dotted all the i’s – James J. McCann “Cultural Influence on Infant Sleep”. http://www.llli.org/russian/subject/sleep/culturalinfluences.html
The article provides data from STATISTICAL studies, indicating the number of subjects. Which makes her extremely attractive to me.
Since what was said in the article is fundamentally different from the heap of material I studied, I want to quote a few (I took the liberty of highlighting a few phrases in bold): and studies of clinically “normal” infant sleep-wake cycles. These data continue to be the gold standard against which parents and professionals evaluate infant sleep development, despite significant contextual differences that may render such comparisons unwarranted. no matter how healthy it is, it is almost not considered.”
“The article presents new evidence from the field of psychology that suggests that the need for solitary sleep to develop “independence” of infants from parents is grossly overestimated. New evidence from the field of biology points to the fact that infant sleep researchers underestimate the importance of breastfeeding and maternal proximity in regulating the physiology of infant sleep , and thus meeting the needs of the infant during the night.0750 children who “never” slept with their parents were less controllable, less happy, and more likely to throw tantrums . Moreover, the scientist found that children who were never allowed to sleep with their parents were more shy than children who always slept in their parents’ bed all night long (17).”
“In a study of parents of 86 children passing treatment in pediatric and child psychiatry clinics (aged 2-13 years) at military bases (children of military personnel), it was found that teachers rated children who slept with their parents more highly. The main group of psychiatric patients consisted of children who slept alone. ”
“The mother’s body stimulates or triggers mechanisms to regulate a month old baby’s body temperature, respiration, wake cycles, cortisol levels and sleep architecture . All this is of the utmost importance, given that the child is born neurologically immature and matures slowly outside the womb (38-41)”
All ways to manage children’s sleep come down to reducing contact with parents as early as possible and reducing feedings at night.Widely advice is “do not allow children to get used to falling asleep during meals, including during breastfeeding”, “do not accustom the child to fall asleep when the parent soothes and caresses the child.” This advice is fundamentally contrary to the very context of the evolution of infant sleep in relation to parental emotions. Today, more and more children are breastfeeding in the United States. If breastfeeding is so widespread, and appears to be biologically correct according to cross-cultural studies, the current sleep management recommendations will not only fail, but will even interfere with many mothers.”
after a brief awakening during sleep (self-soothing) and the ability to “sleep through the night” at the earliest possible age with minimal parental involvement is still a developmental milestone by which both infants and their parents are measured, even in cases where the parents themselves are not consider the ability to “sleep through the night” something important. Using this kind of criteria to evaluate “developmental progress” can do more harm than good, especially if the actual sleep conditions differ from the sleep conditions for which such an assessment is intended. ”
The sleep patterns of infants at night are significantly different from formula-fed infants. In turn, the sleep of children who were breastfed for a year or more developed differently than the sleep of children who were fed only for the first three months (15). Oberlander et al. (72) found that infants’ sleep immediately after feeding increased by 46% when they were fed cow’s milk formula alone and by 118% when compared with water or carbohydrates alone. in developed countries such as the US, UK and Australia, where 35% of children (or one in three healthy children) have difficulty falling or staying asleep after being taught to sleep alone (17, 35, 87). Such a high percentage is an example of the fact that, perhaps, the confidence in the correctness of our expectations and ideas about how children should sleep is unreasonably overstated. This is not evidence of parental incompetence, but rather a lack of flexibility in interpreting and applying the advice given by health professionals.”
“Only a hundred years ago, in a relatively small number of world cultures, did parents and health care providers concern themselves with the problem of how exactly children should be euthanized. And only in Western cultures is there a notion that children need to “learn” to sleep, in this case, alone In most cultures around the world, childhood sleep is something that happens on its own Harkness et al. less as they grow older, will go to sleep and wake up at about the same time as other family members, and that sooner or later they will learn to fall asleep and wake up without the help of mothers and fathers. The four main stages of infant sleep behavior are determined by stages of development “(64) . ”
Co-sleeping does not lead to one predictable outcome – positive, harmless or negative. Just like there is no one predictable outcome of a solitary dream. The physiological and psychological effects depend on the age of the child, as well as the social, physical, and emotional circumstances surrounding co-sleeping. The exaggerated fear of strangling or suffocating an infant in its sleep comes in part from the cultural history of the West. Over the past 500 years, many impoverished women in Paris, Brussels, Munich, and London (and many other cities) have confessed to Catholic priests that they strangled their babies in their sleep in order to somehow control family size (94, 95, 96). Led by priests who threatened excommunication, fines, and imprisonment (for murder), parents were forbidden to take their children to their bed. Such historical legacies of Western history probably merged with changing social mores and customs (the birth of such values as privacy, autonomy, individualism) and provided the basis for the philosophical justification of modern cultural beliefs. Based on established cultural beliefs, it is much easier to find the disadvantages of co-sleeping than to address its possible benefits. “
And of course, the chapter on sleep in my favorite book “The Art of Breastfeeding” is very good, there are also references to literature, I also used them. A must read!
In general, I answered my questions. I realized that the architecture of sleep differs in children on GW and not on GW, as well as in those sleeping with mom and not sleeping with mom. And this “normative” trajectory of sleep development is not represented by the traditional scientific paradigm. And from here, a bunch of terrible articles and tips for accustoming to sleep. And hence a bunch of moms who heeded this advice. As well as mothers who graduated from guards and saw that the child began to sleep better. And giving advice to others.
And that we are talking about sleep disorders only if the disorder really exists. If a child does not sleep enough, his nervous system suffers, if he cannot develop normally, if he is really sick! Here visits to doctors, and even medicines are justified – there are situations that are really serious. But in 99% (a figure from me, approximate) of cases, we are not talking about sleep disturbance. It’s about sleep patterns. and if the baby wakes up to suck on the breast – this is the norm! It is important for mom to get enough sleep, co-sleeping and daytime sleep helps.
I also perfectly understand the force of habit which also has its place in the topic of sleep. Of course, it is not necessary to teach a child to sleep in his arms if he sleeps himself in a cocoon or crib. No need to accustom to motion sickness (I hope everyone already knows that motion sickness is extremely harmful, and severe motion sickness can cause a stroke in a newborn). You can try to slowly remove the breast from the mouth of a sleeping child and crawl away, leaving your clothes nearby for the smell of your mother. In every possible way try to improve his sleep without a mother, resort to tricks and tricks. All this has its place. There is no place to be accustomed to a separate sleep, accustoming through tears, weaning in order for the child to finally “sleep normally”.
If a child whimpered at night, and his mother put her hand on him, hissed, and he fell asleep – great!!! (Unless we are talking about the first weeks of lactation). But if the child is at guards, he cries, and the mother does not give him breasts at night, but sticks water or rocks to sleep – this is a mockery !! Because he smells milk, it calls him, and his mother, having read the forums, does not give breasts. This is terrible! (I read a joyful post by one mother, who was proud that she weaned a five-month-old girl from falling asleep with her breast. At the same time, the girl gnawed off MOM’S MIKE in the process of weaning. People, are you people or animals ???!!!
I am very sorry that I was born and gave birth on my own at the turn of the epochs, which still caught the HUGE influence of the approach to children imposed by the totalitarian regime of different countries, including Russia, whose goal was to put a woman in production rather, and for this not let her get too attached to her own child. I’m sorry that I spent SO many nerves and energy worrying about why my baby is not sleeping as soundly as I would like, why I can’t put him in the crib and go about my business. I’m sorry that one of my grandmothers raised children on a schedule, and the second didn’t raise children at all, but worked, that my grandfather still exhorts me to put my daughter in a crib and accustom her to her, that my progressive mother in the first difficult months of my girl is so I was worried that this was “breast slavery”, that it was impossible to sleep with a breast, that it was too hard for me. I’m sorry that a bunch of kids around the world are doing all sorts of horrors like being left screaming and being taught to sleep. I would go to jail for this.
But on the other hand, how happy I am that now I have the freedom to choose how I raise my child. Freedom not to believe any nonsense on the net, and also not to believe not high-quality scientific articles. Freedom to access information. And that I have such a mother and such a husband who fully support me, my husband spent a lot of his time helping to research this topic, looking for articles and so on. And that we spontaneously had a joint dream. I didn’t plan it, I didn’t read the studies. The child so wanted and so it turned out by itself. I think if it had turned out differently, I would have regretted it later. And my father was so surprised (the doctor, by the way), they say, you can’t sleep with her! This is dangerous!
My daughter is now 15 months old. And I find it hard to believe that I was once so worried that she falls asleep only with her breast. Oh my god, this is just amazing!!! It’s insanely convenient! We don’t have any problems falling asleep. After a year, she began to give me freedom in the evening – one and a half, or even two hours. Yes, I have never slept for more than two hours. And what of it? I see how important and necessary it is for her to apply at night to her breast. At the same time, at 15 months, she began to fall asleep at home with her grandmother or father, if I was not around. This happened! Even though it never seemed to happen. Well, in a wheelchair on the street – it’s easy. No nipples, thumb sucking, transient objects, etc. She falls asleep at home with her breast for a daytime sleep, then sucks herself off and sleeps for an hour by herself – before I could only dream of this. And then you need to catch the moment and stick her chest. Then she – we – will sleep for another hour, and she will wake up very pleased and slept.
And of course, in general, guards after a year is a super convenient thing. I always have something that will calm the child, put him to sleep, CURE from 99% of diseases. How can you voluntarily refuse this?
I’m already silent that despite the fact that my child is VERY tame, our bodily communication with him is 90% co-sleeping, 8% gw, and only 2% hug-kissing, because go catch her during the day!!!
Everything goes on as usual, and it just took a lot of time to understand this topic. Of course, in the first months I was simply not up to it. And it would be nice if there was an experienced person nearby, some old woman who remembers how it was in the villages. Where the children slept all together, and indeed everyone slept together, the children were carried in their arms, it was as normal to give a breast as to sneeze, and no one was worried about accustoming to sleep (the woman just plowed like a horse, and the child grew up by itself, holding on to her skirt, and then running barefoot through the dung). If you have similar problems, if it seems to you that your child will NEVER learn to fall asleep without a breast – let me become that person for you)))
I am not a fan or a masochist, I also want to sleep someday. I will catch the moment when it seems to me that my daughter is no longer so important guards. At the same time, I will remember that WHO recommends feeding up to 2 years, and in pre-revolutionary Russia they fed up to 5-7. Someday we will finish with guards and get some sleep (and I will finally smoke a hookah 🙂 ). But for now from 80-90 (I’m an optimist) years of my life I’m ready to not get enough sleep for a couple of years in order to give my daughter the most important thing she needs – guards and mother’s carcass next to me 🙂
And of course, I’m terribly jealous of those mothers whose children are born sleep well, wake up at night to suck once every three hours and sleep on. For me, in this version, it is generally a paradise, both for the child and for the mother. Maybe someday heaven or someone there will send me a sleeping child)
I also want to emphasize once again that you need to know the basic things about sleep – I wrote about it under the Useful children’s tag.
P.S. Our sleep in by the age of two has become just great !!!!! I calmly go to the theaters – the little one falls asleep with her grandmother or dad. During the night, he wakes up once on a potty, once or twice he can simply be brought in and fall asleep again. We sleep together, and there is no better pleasure) Everything was justified, everything! How good)) About how we turned off guards and how sleep improved – I wrote in my other posts on the tag useful children 0-2 years and useful children 2-3 years. And you have good dreams!)))
Myths and misconceptions about children’s sleep
06.02.2022
Every mother at some point in her life receives advice on forums on the Internet or in real life from friends, grandmothers and other acquaintances on how to improve the sleep of a child. But is it worth following all the advice?
Let’s figure out together what recommendations are already outdated and become myths and what is actually better for the child.
Myth 1
The baby does not sleep because he is not full enough. Need to be fed.
True: Human sleep is formed not in the stomach, but in the brain. Therefore, the baby continues to sleep poorly when the mother begins to feed to fall asleep and when waking up at night. As a result, the child understands that he can fall asleep only with the help of food and nothing else. A habit is formed, from which it is then difficult to leave.
Myth 2
Milk is not nutritious – add semolina, porridge, then the child will sleep better.
Truth: The nutritional value and fat content of milk does not affect the baby’s habit of sleeping only on the breast. And introducing complementary foods ahead of time or adding porridge to the bottle will not improve your baby’s sleep.
Myth 3
Children sleep better on AI.
Truth: Babies sleep the same on GW and EW. Yes, it happens that the mother weaned, and the child begins to sleep better. But this is not due to the transition to IV, but to a change in sleep habits. Most likely, the mother begins to rock, give a bottle to sleep, or holds the baby by the hand while falling asleep, that is, changes the way she falls asleep. But at the same time, the baby still does not fall asleep on his own in the crib without his mother’s help.
Myth 4
The child does not sleep because he is not tired enough. You need to make him more tired.
Truth: If a child is overtired, he will cry when he goes to bed, and it will take longer to fall asleep, to sleep in intermittent superficial sleep. And if the baby goes too far regularly, the level of cortisol in his body rises. Even a single increase in this hormone leads to increased stable positions of the stress hormone for two days.
And when a child is overtired from day to day, his body takes out the phase of deep sleep, the baby begins to sleep only superficially. Which leads to short naps, frequent tears, waking up too early and going to bed for hours.
Myth 5
The child does not sleep well because it is hereditary.
Truth: If your baby has a behavioral sleep disorder, such as falling asleep only on the chest or when rocking, this is not due to heredity. Hereditary may be the temperament of the child, how quickly he gets used to certain sleep habits, what is his reaction to learning to self-sleep. But the problem of poor sleep, if it is not of a medical nature, is not hereditary.
Myth 6
Early bedtime/early rise is not suitable for the child as he is a “lark/owl.” Therefore, it is better to accept and wait until he outgrows the problems with sleep.
Truth: Only after the age of 12 do children begin to develop a tendency to be. And if your child falls asleep and gets up late, then most likely you have adapted the baby’s regimen for yourself. But this does not mean that such a routine is physiological for a child.
Myth 7
Teeth and growth spurts are to blame for bad sleep.
Truth: Teeth can really disturb a child’s sleep. But children usually experience acute pain at the time of teething, which does not last 3-7 days. Teeth do not affect a child’s sleep in any way if sleep problems have been going on for more than one month.
Developmental leaps often occur in the first years of a baby’s life. They affect a child’s sleep as he learns new skills. But no jump is a pathology.
Myth 8
The child should be taught to sleep with noise.
Truth: Babies don’t need to be specially taught to sleep with noise, especially if they don’t sleep well.
Take into account the needs of the baby for his age and do everything possible so that he sleeps better.
The same applies to the baby sleeping in the light. Up to 2 months, the baby can sleep in a lighted room. But by forcing the baby to sleep in the light after 2 months, we do not allow the sleep hormone melatonin to be produced.
Do not be afraid that due to sleeping in a dark room during the day there will be a confusion of day and night. The circadian rhythm of the night begins to form in a child from 8 weeks. Most often, the confusion of day and night is not due to darkness, but due to an incorrect daily routine.
Myth 9
It is imperative for a child to sleep in a pram outside.
Truth: If the baby falls asleep peacefully in the stroller, then there is nothing wrong with that. But sleeping in a wheelchair is not a necessity. This claim is not supported by any research.
Also, not all babies sleep in a stroller. There are babies who are accustomed to sleeping with their breasts in their mouths or who are annoyed by the movement of the stroller – their brain cannot figure out how to fall asleep when everything is moving around.
If this is your case, you do not need to specifically accustom the baby to sleep in the stroller – put him down in a way that is comfortable for him.
Myth 10
The baby constantly sleeps on his chest, in his arms, because he lacks warmth and affection.
Truth: A child who is used to sleeping on his chest or arms is definitely not a child who lacks warmth and affection. On the contrary, he received all this in abundance and formed the habit of sleeping like this.
Myth 11
All children do not sleep well and this is normal. You just have to get through this period.
Truth: 20-30% of children have behavioral sleep disorders. They go away when mom does something, not when he outgrows them. We sacrifice ourselves, thinking that we are doing well for the child. But in fact, the baby also suffers, experiencing problems with sleep. And you support it yourself. Therefore, it is better to establish a child’s sleep, and not wait. (link to bunny).
What myths about childhood sleep do you encounter most often?
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Cry it out method of falling asleep: controlled crying and sleep
April 24
2019
26 comments
Some people believe that this method of sleep training involves the following algorithm: parents leave the nursery, leave the baby alone, and he cries until he falls asleep. But “cry it out” (CIO) refers to many approaches to sleep training. And most often it is based on the fact that parents allow the child to cry for a certain period of time (usually this is a very short period).
Richard Ferber / photo WBUR
In his book A Child’s Dream. The solution to all problems, pediatrician Richard Ferber introduced one of the methods for falling asleep to children, which has become almost synonymous with CIO. He was even given a name by the name of the doctor – Ferberizing. Ferber himself never uses the phrase “cry it out”. He’s just one of many sleep experts who say crying is an essential part of sleep training for some kids. Most pediatricians agree with him, and the cry it out method really works, helping many families.
Theoretical foundation of the methodology
The basis of CIO is the ability to fall asleep, which your child can learn if you give him the opportunity to do so. The idea is that if your baby gets used to you feeding or rocking him every night before bed, he won’t learn to fall asleep on his own. And subsequently, when he wakes up at night, which is part of the natural sleep cycle, he will worry and cry instead of falling asleep again.
Conversely, if your baby learns to soothe himself before bed, he will be able to use the same skill when waking up at night.
It is important to realize right away that crying is not the goal of this sleep training method. However, “cry it out” proponents argue that this is often an inevitable side effect of self-tuning to a child’s sleep. In fact, a short-term roar is a small price to pay for all the long-term benefits: a child who goes to bed with a happy smile on his face and falls asleep easily; parents who are guaranteed a quiet night’s rest. How do you like this scenario? Do you only dream of peace? Well, you have a chance to change everything.
It is much easier to take a child to bed / photo The Pragmatic Parent
Examples of CIO methods
Ferber is perhaps the best-known expert to advocate the “cry it out” method, but he is not alone. Pediatrician Mark Weissbluth, author of the popular book Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby, says that crying is an integral part of helping some kids develop healthy sleep habits.
Sleep expert Jody Mindell, who wrote the book Sleeping All Night, is called “the kind and gentle Ferber.” She proposed her own variation of the technique.
Another paediatrician, Michel Cohen of New York, should not miss The New Foundations of Parenting. He believes that babies as young as 8 weeks old can be left alone in the nursery to cry as much as necessary before falling asleep.
Well, what mom can resist that? / photo Sleeping Baby Book
At the opposite end of the spectrum is the “baby wise” approach of pediatrician Robert Bucknam and his coauthor Gary Ezzo. In their book Wisdom in Raising a Child, they advise not to feed children when they themselves want to. They recommend force-feeding your baby before bed so that he does not wake up at night. In addition, the authors warn that children will definitely cry until they adjust to the schedule proposed by their parents.
It should be noted that the methods proposed by Michel Cohen and Robert Bucknam are controversial and have been criticized by both childcare experts and many parents. Also, these approaches are contrary to the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics on feeding and sleep. But… There is always a “but”.
I wanted to try the Ferber method. How should I do it?
First, wait until your child is ready to sleep through the night, not only physically but also emotionally. Babies usually mature at 4-6 months of age. Ferber does not specify the exact age at which to start applying his technique, since it can vary greatly depending on the individual characteristics of the child. So it’s up to you to decide.
The result is worth all your efforts / photo Sleepopolis
If you are not sure if your child is ready, you can always take a “test swim” or discuss it with a doctor. If you encounter a lot of resistance, wait a few weeks and try again.
Step 1. Put your baby to bed when he is sleepy but still awake.
Step 2 Say good night to your baby and leave the room. Let the baby cry for a certain period of time.
Step 3. Return to the room for 1-2 minutes to pet and soothe the baby. Do not turn on the light while doing this. Your voice should be as quiet and soothing as possible. Exit the room again. Despite the fact that he is still awake and even crying.
Step 4. Return to the nursery again and stay with the child a little longer than the first time. Repeat this “exercise”, each time leaving the room for a longer time. At the same time, staying in the nursery should not be delayed longer than 2 minutes.
Step 5. Leave the room until the baby is asleep.
Step 6. If your child wakes up again, follow the same procedure, gradually increasing the intervals between visits.
Step 7. Every night, increase the time intervals between visits to the nursery. Ferber claims that in most cases, the child will fall asleep in his room on his own by the third or fourth night. The maximum period is a week.
How long should a child be left alone in a room?
Ferber suggests the following intervals in his book:
First night: first time out for 3 minutes, second time out for 5 minutes, third time and all subsequent times out for 10 minutes.
Second night: leave the child for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 12 minutes.
Subsequent nights: gradually increase the intervals, taking into account the reaction of the child.
A child must love his bed / photo Kveller
Practical tips for testing the “cry it out” method from parents and experts
Lay the foundation for success. For example, getting ready for bed might include bathing, reading a book, or a lullaby. The child will know exactly what to expect.
Develop a plan. Make sure you and your partner are emotionally prepared before starting sleep training.
Follow the plan. When your child wakes you up at 2 am, you may be tempted to go astray. But in this case, all the work will be done in vain. You can pause the program if you find that your child is simply not physically or emotionally ready.
Get ready for sleepless nights. Schedule your first CIO night when you’re not planning anything. For example, if you work all week, it’s best to start on Friday.
Be prepared for remorse. What parent can calmly listen to his child crying? This is real flour. Therefore, during periods of waiting, when you leave the nursery, and the child begins to cry, go to another part of the apartment or listen to music on headphones. The first week may seem like hell for you, but try to relax, because when it’s over, your family will sleep as soundly as it is peaceful.
Only team work. During waiting periods, do something nice with your partner. Come up with something yourself. If after a while you realize that the baby’s crying is unbearable, let your partner take control of everything. Next time you will take over the case, giving your spouse a rest.
Customize the method for you. If you want to try this method but find it too harsh, you can take the gentle approach. For example, you can stretch the seven-day Ferber program over 14 days, increasing the time intervals through the night.
Be prepared for relapses. Don’t think that by the end of your sleep training you will solve the problem. Your child’s sleep may regress periodically, for example, when they get sick or while traveling.
Reading at night as part of getting ready for bed / photo Chicago Tribune
Does the “cry it out” method work?
For some, this method is just a salvation, because it works the first time. Many parents say that the child continues to cry, but the promised sleep does not come. Then it’s time to try something else. It is natural that one method works differently in different families. No one approach to the problem of children’s sleep will work the same way for everyone. And even if CIO works with your first child, it won’t work with your second.
Parent feedback
“I have two children. The first child never screamed, because before going to bed and during awakenings, we always lulled him, sang, did our best. But with my second child, I decided to try the controlled crying method, and after a night it worked. Today my daughter is a year old, she goes to bed without any problems and never cries at night. My husband was against it, but now our family is happy.” – Lisa.
“My daughter woke up every hour and when she was 7 months old I decided to let her cry. After 3-4 weeks, we completed the sleep training. Now my daughter sleeps about 10 hours a night and loves her crib. And how much energy does she have for games after that! — Samantha.
“My friends are Ferber junkies.” They recommended the “cry it out” method to me, and I went against my own instincts. The son was supposed to sleep peacefully in a week, but instead he cried for 3 hours on the third night. This is very individual, and you should not expect that this technique works with all children. — Kelly.
“We tried the Ferber method with our daughter at 6 months old. The first night was terrible. The second one was faster. The third night was worse than the first. Now the daughter sleeps with us and we are all happy. I still blame myself for those three terrible nights.” – Loving mother.
Don’t believe anyone who says it’s easy / photo HuffPost
Why do some people oppose the “cry it out” method?
Many parents and educators say that you should not let a child cry and not respond to his tears in any way. According to them, this can jeopardize the child’s trust in his parents and, therefore, his sense of security.
In response to such fears, Ferber says that a child who receives a lot of attention and love during the day can stay on his own at night and cry a little without damage to health or psyche.
“A small child does not yet know what is best for him, and he may cry if he does not get what he wants,” writes Ferber. “If he wanted to play with a sharp knife, you would naturally not give him such a dangerous “toy”, no matter how much he cried. In doing so, you would not feel guilty and would not worry about the psychological consequences. An abnormal sleep pattern can be as harmful to your child as a sharp knife.”
The mere mention of the “cry it out” method can cause heated debate between parents, pediatricians and psychologists. Critics of the method say it can lead to digestive problems and even damage to synapses in the brain. Adherents speak of the ridiculousness of such conclusions. Craig Canapari, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics and director of the sleep medicine program at Yale School of Medicine, laughs: “Honestly, this technique would be really dangerous if babies got brain damage every time they cry. They’re crying all the time. I think “cry it out” has a right to exist.”
In the end, it is up to you to decide whether this method is justified for your child. In the struggle for survival, all means are good. And if sleep is pleasure, then you have to pay for any pleasure. Someday you will definitely understand that sleep is a plane in which you can always fly business class.
Author http://www.twins.org.ua
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I am against this method. It is not in Nature for a mother to make her child suffer! It hurts both the mother and the child.
Do you want your child to fall asleep faster? Develop a specific sleep scenario. For some children, it is even enough to eat, then listen to a lullaby on the phone!
I think that you have children who cannot fall asleep for 1.5 hours, they simply do not have a script for falling asleep. It works already at the level of instincts!!
I turn on the same music to the child, and it already acts on the level of instincts.
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I am teaching my second child (1. 2 years old) using this method. Helped right away! From 4 a.m. he sleeps all night without waking up. From 21-8 in the morning. Happiness has no limit. Today is day 11. Somehow there was a strong cry, but fell asleep in one go. The first night is hard. It worked for me with both daughters, but I am convinced that children are different. Good luck to all!
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What a terrible technique! A child under 3 years old definitely needs his mother’s warmth, hugs, affection!
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Good evening, we tried this method one evening, the child never yelled like with this method. Moreover, we still depend on the breast. How can you think of that.
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Children falling asleep using this technique, Welcome to IT.
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Child abuse? And you have twins and jump with them 24/7.
This will be a mockery of the parents. Even in two with his wife, put them down for 1.5 hours in the evening, then if they wake up at night for 2 hours, they still jump and during the day another 0.5-1 hour. A shameful waste of time.
Basically two camps of commentators.
1 camp, of course, the method is supported and, of course, only enthusiastic comments are left.
Camp 2 has gone all out and basically puts pressure on a few things.
– violation of communication – trust between the child and the parent.
That is, commentators offer to indulge all the whims of their child and take a little something in their hands and calm them down. Well, we have gone through all the stages of this indulgence. From simple words to hands.
In the end, the child (one more attached to his wife, one to me) who is more attached to me simply refused to go to bed at 1.5 years old. And if you put him in bed with a demand, he yells to be picked up. REQUEST! and only with your favorite blanket and nothing else. It is simply impossible to put in a bed, a terrible hysteria begins.
That is, the child has reached the state of manipulation of the parent.
The second child behaves in a simpler way, but in general, in relation to his wife, the same way. It is possible to lay down only after long motion sickness on the hands. My blood, which is attached to me, can only be laid in a deep sleep. It’s about an hour on hand.
– the second point that is being actively discussed is tantrums, fainting due to hysterics, mental disorders.
Your mother. Your child can hysteria and cry from anything. From colic at an early age to a thorn in the foot on the beach. Will you wipe your child’s drool every time?
I was a mother’s boy myself. And until the age of 25, he remained like that, stealing money from his father, and his mother bought cigarettes, fed and clothed him. Until one day he found himself in conditions of survival without papa and mama. After that, the world turned upside down. Now I am a financially secure person, absolutely independent and independent of any circumstances.
I have a wonderful wife and two wonderful children.
What future do you want for your children? That’s the way I was before 25 and would probably be the same up to 50? Or maybe you want your children to be independent from an early age and not rush a little on your neck, a little something goes wrong?
The method is stupid, but it works. Stress is really useless for a child, but you don’t torment him week after week. We are talking about 1-3 days of real stress for the child.
We applied this method abruptly and without returning to the room.
1.5 hours we tried to put them down. Then he and his wife defiantly left the room and that was it. Yelled for 30 minutes. Then they slashed.
Yes, the first evening and daytime falling asleep was hard for them.
But each subsequent day they calmed down much faster and already without tantrums, but only with whining. And sleep became stronger and better.
After 3 days of literally this method, children already after 30 minutes sleep a sound and healthy sleep.
I would like to note that our children sleep quite well at night. We spend a lot of time with our children throughout the day. So they are not deprived of attention. At night, if we wake up, we are still rocking in our arms or in the crib if we quickly reacted to whims.
An independent child really learns to control his emotions on his own, falling asleep and healthy sleep for a child is a real necessity.
So to sacrifice 2 days of hard stress and get a child falling asleep on his own or babysitting him for at least 5-6 years is the choice of everyone.
But do not be surprised after 40 years that your child asks for money for a bottle while sitting at the computer and playing toys or sitting in VKontakte. The fault of such upbringing will be only you.
I think for the most part those who have babies of 3-12 months are aroused. The parent of such a baby is hysterical and crying like a knife to the heart. But it passes, believe me. He himself was the same. And I have two of the same age. In my case, if humane methods do not work, I have to resort to radical ones.
Sooner or later you will realize that this is not a way to jump for 5 hours with a baby. It’s about 3-4 days, not months.
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Here you are, adults, you somehow sleep in silence and in the dark and in a separate room and no one is sitting next to you … so why not teach this to a child???
From this, strong personalities are formed and not amoebic little men who spit on everyone and mom runs after them and wipes this drool and apologizes …
This is normal, you need to teach the child independence – but explain, help, talk. As the doctor writes – “let them cry and come … make it clear that mom will come anyway, and let them cry again and come and the baby will understand that he is not alone and you can sleep peacefully”
All such straight mothers mothers – give free rein to your children, and they will be calm and happy))
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My daughter is 30 years old and is now the mother of a 3 month old daughter. I did not know any methods, but I really needed to go to work in the 90s. At 6 months old, I tried to leave the child alone at 20-30 to fall asleep in the crib. The first days she screamed for 30 minutes, then 15, 10, 5, then she babbled and fell asleep herself. So I made life easier for myself. Nothing, my daughter did not lag behind in development, and in the evening I felt like a free woman. Moms, from six months of the child you need to start loving yourself. Nothing will happen to your child, psychologically speaking. Take care of yourself!!!
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I completely agree with the comments, I read the article there, they explain everything more softly, but what is the best thing to do so that the child is better ??
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What kind of Kerest just read! Disgusting experiments, nothing more. Instead of providing the little man with peace and confidence that he is not alone and Mom is nearby. Some garbage to do. Let these Americans experiment on each other better
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What kind of fashion did they take, as in American films, to leave tiny children in a separate room?
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It has already been proven in foreign literature that this method is unacceptable and really harmful to the child. The level of the stress hormone in such children goes off scale and leads to irreversible consequences in the conditions of the formation of the psyche. Moreover, studies were conducted where they found that even if the children stopped crying with this method, as it turned out, this was due to an increased stress hormone and the “freeze or flight” reaction (that is, the children seemed to freeze). This method leads not only to the formation of distrust of the child with the closest people, but also subsequently to low stress tolerance.
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It seems that many do not know how to read and delve into the essence of the text)) Ferber does not call on parents to torture and make their children faint, but offers a method by which both children and parents can finally normalize night sleep. There is no cruelty here. You need to pause and watch the baby. And if the child does not calm down or the cry of pain / hunger, then you need to take the child in your arms.
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This is child abuse. Do you think your parents did this? Remember that little you who was very lonely and scared in the dark in the crib. Remember how you begged your mother to come, stroke, take in your arms, kiss and give protection. Remembered? Don’t do this to your children.
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He will not fall asleep, but will faint from overload
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However, this method is very harmful to the psyche of the child.
Everything you need to know about making stage 1 baby food, including 10 recipes for tasty purees that are perfect for introducing solids.
Introducing solids to your baby is such an exciting milestone but it can also be an overwhelming time with lots of questions. When is your baby ready for solids? Which foods should you start with? And how do you make homemade baby food?
I’m here to make sure you have all the information you need! Plus sharing 10 baby food purees to give you some ideas of where to start if you’ve decided to make your own baby food.
When To Start Solids
Most pediatricians recommend babies start solids between 4-6 months, but you know your baby best so trust your gut and do what feels right to you (with guidance from your pediatrician)!
I have a great guide for introducing solids to babies where I outline the basics and share my approach, but just to recap, here are some signs that your baby is ready to start enjoying solid food:
Baby can hold their head up in an upright position without too much bobbing
Baby can sit up with (or without) support
Baby has lost the tongue thrust reflex
Baby puts their hands or toys in their mouth
Baby has shown interest in food such as leaning forward and opening their mouth or trying to grab food you’re eating
How to Introduce Solid Food to Baby
Once you’ve decided that your baby is ready to start solids, it’s go-time. There are different approaches to this including baby led weaning, where you skip purees all-together and let your baby feed themselves with finger foods from the start and traditional weaning, which starts with pureed (or blended) foods.
With Olivia I did a hybrid approach where the first few foods we introduced where purees and then we started with a few finger foods when she seemed ready. I go into more detail on this in my introducing solids post.
To be honest, if you’re planning to do baby led weaning this post probably won’t be that helpful because it’s focused on how to make a variety of single ingredient purees.
What is Stage 1 Baby Food?
If you decide to use purees, you’ll quickly notice that baby food is labeled by three stages. Here is a breakdown of what these different stages mean:
Stage 1 (4-6 months) – single ingredient foods that are pureed into a very thin consistency with no chunkiness whatsoever that can be served with a spoon.
Stage 2 (around 6-8 months) – slightly thicker consistency and typically includes food combinations and the addition of spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, turmeric, mint, basil, etc. See my stage 2 baby food combos.
Stage 3 (around 9-12 months) – thick blended foods with chewable chunks or small cut up pieces of easily chewed food.
Best First Foods for Baby
Solid foods can be introduced in any order, but most pediatricians recommend starting with a single-ingredient food that is easy to digest like pureed sweet potato, carrot, banana and/or avocado. Other options include pureed meats, poultry, beans and iron-fortified baby cereals like rice cereal or oatmeal.
You just want to be sure the first few foods are pureed super smooth and almost a liquid consistency. You can easily thin purees with breastmilk or formula.
As baby gets more practice with eating you can reduce the amount of liquid and offer purees with a thicker texture.
Food Allergies and Known Allergens
When introducing foods it can be helpful to introduce only one food every three to five days so you can watch for any signs of allergic reactions. A reaction could show up almost immediately or a few days after so it’s recommend to introduce one food at a time when starting out so you can track what may be causing a reaction in your baby. Reactions include: hives or rashes, itching, shortness or breath or more serious reactions like vomiting or swelling of the lips and tongue.
It’s also helpful to be mindful about common allergens. Foods like diary, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, soy and shellfish should be introduced gradually after less allergenic foods have been tolerated. The previous recommendation was to wait on these foods, but that as since changed and in fact, delaying the introduction of these foods may increase the risk of a child developing allergies.
One food that is off limits until a baby is at least 1 year old is honey because of the risk of infantile botulism.
How to Make Homemade Baby Food
We covered when and what foods to start with. Now lets talk how to make a basic baby food puree! Don’t fret, it’s super easy. Here’s the basic process:
Prep: you’ll want to start by ensuring your fruit or vegetable of choice is thoroughly cleaned. Even if you’re using organic fruits and vegetables, you’ll want to washed and dry your produce! Once the produce is clean, you’re ready to peel and chop into chunks. You can skip this step for some fruits or veggies.
Cook: some foods like banana and avocado don’t need to be cooked, but many do. For cooking, you can steam, boil or roast. I recommend using a fork to test that they’re tender and soft.
Blend: place cooked food into a blender or food processor and blend until smooth (or the consistency you desire), adding liquid (breast milk, formula or water) as needed.
That’s it! You’ve just made a homemade baby food puree!
Best Tools For Making Homemade Baby Food
You really don’t need any fancy kitchen appliances, but there are a few tools that will come in handy when making homemade baby food.
Steamer basket – Steaming is one the easiest ways to cook foods for making purees and having a steamer basket is key. I have a really basic steamer basket that fits in most pots, but I also use the steamer basket that comes with my Always Pan.
Blender – I’ve been using my Vitamix blender and love how smooth it makes the purees. You can also use a food processor or an immersion blender.
Silicone ice cube trays – In the beginning I really liked to make large batches of pureed food and pour it into a silicone ice cube tray with a lid to freeze for later. It was perfect when babies aren’t eating big portions because each cube is about 1-2 ounces.
Freezer bags – Once you have frozen cubes of puree you can transfer them to a freezer-safe bag. I love reusable Stasher bags for this.
Storage containers – As soon as you start making homemade baby food you realize that you need lots of little containers. A friend loaned me a bunch of plastic storage containers for keeping homemade baby food and I also invested in these glass containers that are freezer safe.
Permanent markers – When storing and freezing baby food you’ll want to label everything with the name of the food and the date.
Baby food maker – if you’re looking for an all-in-one solution that steams food and blends it there are some cool gadgets (like the BEABA Babycook) that make homemade baby food a breeze!
10 Stage One Baby Food Purees
Ready to get started making some stage 1 baby food purees? Here are 10 easy recipes to get you started. These are the purees I used in the early days with Olivia. She loved all of these, but there are a ton of other purees you can try including pear puree, apple puree (aka applesauce), bean purees (like chickpea or lentil puree) and even chicken puree.
Sweet Potato
Sweet potatoes are a powerhouse vegetable! They’re packed with fiber, vitamins, minerals and antioxidants and babies love their sweet flavor.
Sweet Potato Puree
3.72 from 7 votes
Sweet potato puree is so easy to make. Just bake your sweet potatoes, peel and blend until smooth! It’s a great first food for babies, but can also be used in baking recipes, mixed into oatmeal, added to smoothies or served as a side dish.
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Carrot
Carrots are low on the allergy scale and easily digested by a tiny tummy. They are high in beta-carotene, an antioxidant that converts to vitamin A in the body, which is crucial for eye health and overall immune function.
Carrot Puree
4 from 39 votes
How to make carrot baby food by cooking and blending carrots into a smooth and creamy puree. Carrot puree make a great stage 1 starter food for babies.
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Avocado
Avocados are high in heart-healthy fats as well as fiber, vitamins, minerals and antioxidants! They’re incredibly nutritious and super easy to prepare.
Avocado Puree
5 from 3 votes
Avocado is great first food for babies. It contains healthy fats, it’s easy to blend and it’s delicious. Make it in your food processor or blender or simply mash!
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Banana
A great first food to introduce to babies, bananas are naturally soft and mushy, easy to digest and loaded with vitamins and minerals. The best part? You don’t need to cook them!
Banana Puree
5 from 2 votes
Fresh banana puree is a great first food and baby will love it because it tastes sweet! Easily make it by mashing or blending ripe bananas.
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Peas
Peas are naturally sweet and pack a punch with nutrition, containing a variety of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. They are also high in protein, with 4 grams per half-cup serving. Fun fact, peas are actually a legume!
Pea Puree
5 from 5 votes
Pea puree is a great first food when introducing solids to babies and all you need is a bag of frozen peas and a blender or food processor!
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Butternut Squash
Technically a fruit, butternut squash is packed with fiber, vitamins and minerals.
Butternut Squash Puree
Make butternut squash puree at home with this simple recipe! Just scoop the seeds, roast, blend and use in recipes that call for butternut squash puree. It’s also a great first food for babies!
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Peach
Peaches are naturally sweet and perfect for introducing baby to solid foods. They are rich in many vitamins, minerals and antioxidants.
Peach Puree
5 from 4 votes
Peach puree is so easy to make using fresh peaches! It’s a great first food for babies, but can also be used as a topping or mix-in for breakfast, dessert and drink recipes.
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Mango
Rich in vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, mango is especially high in vitamins A and C. They also contain a group of digestive enzymes called amylases which help little tummies just starting with solid foods.
Mango Puree
5 from 3 votes
How to make a delicious mango puree out of fresh (or frozen) mango. It’s perfect for serving to baby or to use in recipes.
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Blueberry
Small but mighty! Blueberries are known as a superfood. Superfoods are usually plant-based and rich in nutrients that are beneficial to your health such as vitamins, minerals, healthy fats and fiber.
Blueberry Puree
5 from 1 vote
Blueberry puree is full of antioxidants and vitamins and makes for a quick and easy first food for baby! It can also be used as a topping or mix-in for breakfast, dessert and drink recipes.
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Strawberry
Strawberries pack quite a health punch! They are low calorie, taste delicious and are a great source of vitamins, minerals and plant compounds.
Strawberry Puree
5 from 1 vote
Strawberry puree is easy to make and naturally sweet with no added sugar! Use it in baked goods, drinks or as baby food.
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How to Store Purees
Freshly pureed baby food should be stored in the fridge and used within 3-4 days. For longer storage, I recommend freezing purees in an airtight container. I like using silicone ice cube tray or freezer safe jars because they make it easier to thaw smaller amounts for serving to babies.
How to Thaw Frozen Puree
I recommend thawing frozen purees in the fridge the night before you want to use them. In a pinch, you can also thaw it quickly with a warm water bath. It thaws quickly if you’re defrosting a small amount to serve to a baby.
FAQ
Can I store homemade baby food purees?
Yes! Making large batches of purees and storing them in the refrigerator or freezer makes feeding baby homemade purees a breeze.
Can you freeze homemade purees?
Freezing baby food that has been made with frozen fruit or vegetables is fine, as long as you have cooked the frozen foods first. Do not refreeze foods that have thawed without cooking. I recommend labeling baby food with the ingredient and date before you place them in the freezer.
Can you freeze baby food made with breast milk or formula?
If you are freezing baby food that has been mixed with fresh breast milk you’re fine! However, you should not freeze baby food that has been mixed with previously frozen breast milk. Once frozen breast milk has been thawed, it should never be re-frozen.
If you are using formula, it should be okay to freeze baby food that has been mixed with it. Most formula companies don’t recommend freezing formula, but you’re using such a small amount.
You can also freeze the baby food purees without adding any liquid. You can then thaw the baby food puree in the fridge overnight and then thin the food to the desired consistency with breast milk or formula right before serving.
This post about freezing baby food has a ton of great insight and tips.
Should I use organic fruits and vegetables?
I recommend using organic produce when possible, though I realize this isn’t always in the budget. Either way thoroughly rinsing your fruits and vegetables is an important step whether they’re organic or not.
This list of the dirty dozen fruits and vegetables from the EWG is a good guide if you can only budget for some but not all organic produce.
Is it safe to thin baby food with cow’s milk?
From a nutritional point of view, most doctors recommend waiting to introduce babies to cow’s milk until one year of age. If you need to thin your puree you can use breast milk, formula or plain water.
What is the difference between stage 1 and stage 2 baby food?
Stage 1 purees are very thin with no chunkiness and are single ingredients. Stage 2 baby foods can be more elaborate with food combinations as well as chunkier textures.
More Recipes for Resources
Baby Pancakes
How to Make Oatmeal For Babies
Baby (+ Toddler) French Toast
Applesauce
Baby Yogurt Melts
6 Baby Food Combinations (Stage 2)
Be sure to check out all of the baby food recipes here on EBF.
10 Stage One Baby Food Purees
5 from 5 votes
Everything you need to know about making stage 1 baby food, including 10 recipes for tasty purees that are perfect for introducing solids.
Print Recipe
Pin Recipe
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 20 minutes
Total Time 30 minutes
Servings 6
Sweet Potato
2 cups steamed and peeled sweet potatoes
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Carrot
1 lb steamed and peeled carrots
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Avocado
1 avocado
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Banana
1 banana
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Pea
2 cups cooked peas
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Butternut Squash
2 cups steamed and peeled butternut squash
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Peach
3 ripe peaches
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Mango
2 ripe mangoes
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Blueberry
2 cups blueberries
½ cup water
Strawberry
2 cups strawberries
water, breast milk or formula to thin
Add veggies or fruit into a high powered blender or a food processor. Blend and add liquid until you reach the consistency you desire. You can make the purees smooth and thin for young babies or thicker and chunkier for older babies.
Please leave a comment and star rating on this post and share on social media using the hashtag #eatingbirdfood. I love seeing your recipe shares!
Avocado Puree for Babies – Eating Bird Food
Avocado is great first food for babies. It contains healthy fats, it’s easy to blend and make into a puree and it’s delicious. Learn more here.
Avocado is a popular first food for baby and for good reason! It’s full of nutrition that your growing baby needs, it’s easy to serve and most babies love it! That’s a win, win, win if you’re keeping score.
Why You’ll Love This Recipe
Avocado is one of the best first foods for baby because of its nutrition profile!
It’s super easy to prepare! You can puree, mash or serve in wedges for baby led weaning.
With its creamy texture, it’s hard not to love.
With no steaming or cooking necessary, it’s easy to whip up!
It blends really well with other flavors.
Avocado Nutrition Facts
Avocados are incredibly nutritious! Not only are they chock full of healthy fats and fiber, but they also are a concentrated source of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants!
You’ll find vitamins C, E, K, B2 (Riboflavin), B3 (Niacin), B5 (Panthothenic acid), B6 (Pyridoxine), folate, magnesium, potassium, copper, zinc and manganese in avocado.
Avocados are also high in heart-healthy fats like monounsaturated fat (oleic acid). Oleic acid is the same fatty acid found in olives and olive oil and is considered a very healthy fat. Diets high in oleic acid show increased insulin sensitivity, betty blood sugar management and lower cholesterol levels. (source)
Growing babies have high fat needs, which make avocados a perfect choice!
How to Make Avocado Puree
Making avocado puree is super simple! Start by removing the peel and pit from the avocado. Place the avocado flesh in a high powered blender or food processor and blend until smooth.
If the puree is too thick you can add a little breast milk, formula or water to thin, starting with 1 teaspoon and adding more as needed to reach your desired consistency.
Another option is to make a chunky avocado puree by adding avocado chunks to a bowl and mashing it with a fork. This is great for stage 2 eaters!
Avocado Baby Food Combinations
For early stage 1 eaters, avocado puree is great served with a spoon. Once baby starts moving into stage 2 and 3 foods you can make fun combination purees (see ideas below) or add avocado puree to different foods like yogurt, smoothies and oatmeal. The baby oatmeal recipe would be delicious with a little avocado puree stirred in.
Other fruit – banana, strawberries, peaches, apples, kiwis, pears, mangos
Dairy – yogurt, cottage cheese, ricotta cheese
Grains – quinoa, oats
Legumes – chickpeas, lentils
Seasonings and spices – curry, ginger, mint, nutmeg, cinnamon
Avocado Baby Puree Combo Ideas
Here are some baby food combos with avocado that might be fun to try:
Mango and avocado
Avocado and banana
Lentils, avocado and blueberry
Avocado and butternut squash
Spinach, avocado, banana and yogurt
Banana, peach, mango and avocado
Oatmeal and avocado
Avocado, peach, pineapple and kale is a great combo that I share in my stage 2 baby food combinations post!
Avocado FAQ
Is avocado puree healthy?
Absolutely! Avocados are a great source of healthy fats, vitamins, minerals and fiber for your growing baby – and you!
Can I give my baby avocado puree?
Yes! Avocado is a great first food for baby when introducing solids. Most babies start solids around 4-6 months, but I would refer to your doctor on when to introduce solids to your baby.
Is avocado hard to digest for babies?
Typically, no. Avocado is easily digestible for babies and the fiber helps regulate their little tummies.
Is frozen avocado good?
Yes! I recommend freezing avocado for easy access to baby food. You can also throw the frozen avocado cubes into a smoothie to boost healthy fats and creaminess.
Can I Serve Avocado to Baby With the Skin On?
Olivia had silent reflux as a baby, but never really threw up. The one time I remember her throwing up is after I gave her 1/4 of an avocado, with the skin on. I kept the skin on the avocado so it would be easier for her to grip and it definitely helped in that regard.
While she didn’t eat the skin, she definitely had it in her mouth and something on the skin didn’t sit well with her and she threw up 3-4 times. So I personally don’t recommend serving avocado with the skin on for baby led weaning. There are other ways to make avocado more grippy like dipping avocado slices in hemp seeds or shredded coconut.
How to Store
Avocado puree can either be stored in the fridge for 3-4 days or in the freezer for up to 3 months. Keep in mind that open avocado will brown in the fridge, so freezing may be the best option. If you want to freeze, I like using silicone ice cube tray or freezer safe jars because they make it easier to thaw smaller amounts for serving to babies.
How to Reheat or Thaw Frozen Avocado Puree
I recommend thawing frozen puree in the fridge the night before you want to use it, but you can also thaw it quickly with a warm water bath. It thaws quickly if you’re defrosting a small amount to serve to a baby.
Other Ways to Use Avocado Puree
Avocado puree is great for babies, but there are so many other ways for older kids and adults to enjoy it too. Here are some ideas:
Avocado toast – you can’t talk about avocado puree without mentioning avocado toast. My daughter is now 2 and she loves avocado toast. We just mash avocado on sourdough sandwich bread and sprinkle it with everything bagel seasoning.
Guacamole – avocado puree can easily be turned into guacamole! Add some garlic, salt, pepper, lime juice and tomatoes or make my healthy guacamole with peas!
Make a smoothie – avocados can add a boost of healthy fats and creamy texture to smoothies. You can add the puree straight into a smoothie, but frozen avocado puree give smoothies a great texture. No need to thaw, just pop a couple cubes of the puree into your blender with the rest of your smoothie ingredients. Try it in my green protein smoothie or this avocado mango smoothie.
More Baby Food Purees
Sweet Potato Puree
Butternut Squash Puree
Peach Puree
Carrot Puree
Strawberry Puree
Banana Puree
Mango Puree
Pumpkin Puree
Applesauce
Blueberry Puree
More Recipes and Resources
Healthy Smash Cake
Baby French Toast
Banana Pancakes For Babies
Baby Yogurt Melts
Check out my guide to introducing solids for more ideas and information on feeding little ones and all of my baby food recipes as well.
Avocado Puree
5 from 3 votes
Avocado is great first food for babies. It contains healthy fats, it’s easy to blend and it’s delicious. Make it in your food processor or blender or simply mash!
Print Recipe
Pin Recipe
Prep Time 5 minutes
Total Time 5 minutes
Servings 2
1 ripe avocado, skin and pit removed
Add avocado flesh into a high powered blender or food processor.
Blend until smooth and serve. If the puree is too thick you can add a little water or milk to thin, starting with 1 teaspoon and adding more as needed.
Another option is to make a chunky avocado puree by adding avocado chunks to a bowl and mashing the avocado with a fork.
Please leave a comment and star rating on this post and share on social media using the hashtag #eatingbirdfood. I love seeing your recipe shares!
How to Make Carrot Baby Food (Carrot Puree)
How to make carrot baby food by cooking and blending carrots into a smooth and creamy puree. Carrot puree make a great stage 1 starter food for babies.
A couple weeks ago I shared all about introducing solids to baby, my approach with Olivia and what foods we’d tried so far. Honestly, I had no intentions of sharing baby food recipes, but I’ve been having so much fun making it for Liv and everyone has seemed really interested so here we are.
For this first post, I thought I would share a simple recipe for an easy stage 1 food for babies 4 month and up, homemade carrot puree.
Like sweet potato and winter squash, carrot puree makes a great stage 1 food for babies because it can easily be pureed until thin. Carrots are also low on the allergy scale and easily digested by a tiny tummy.
Olivia’s first food was sweet potato puree and then avocado, but carrots came quickly after these two foods.
Homemade Baby Food
Let me start by saying that I know homemade baby food isn’t always an option and that’s okay. When we were on vacation I bought a couple baby food pouches for Olivia. She gobbled them up. That said, the majority of her food is homemade because I really enjoy cooking and making food for Liv has been really fun for me. I also like knowing that she’s eating fresh, nutrient-rich food that’s been made with love. That might sound corny, but it’s true.
When researching how to make homemade baby food I also researched how shelf-stable baby food is made. The shelf-life of jarred store-bought baby food is 2 years, which means you could be feeding your baby shelf-stable food that’s older than they are! Isn’t that wild to think about?!
And while I haven’t tasted store-bought carrot baby food, I imagine that this homemade carrot puree tastes way better!
Carrot Nutrition for Infants
Carrots are a such a nutritious first food! They are high in beta-carotene, a red-orange antioxidant that converts to vitamin A in the body. Vitamin A is known to boost eye health and support the immune system. Carrots also contain vitamin C, iron, calcium and fiber, which can be helpful for normal bowel movements in babies.
What Kind of Carrots to Use
I like to use fresh, organic whole carrots. Just wash the carrots well and peel them before chopping and cooking. I know it’s an extra step, but I do recommend peeling them to remove any dirt particles and/or pesticide residue. I also think removing the peel of the carrots makes them taste better. They taste super earthy to me when the peel is on. You can also use baby carrots, which makes the chopping process faster because they’ve already been peeled.
I personally like to buy organic foods for making homemade baby food, but also realize this isn’t an option for everyone so buy what you can afford.
How to Make Carrot Puree
Peel and chop carrots.
Cook the carrot chunks by steaming, boiling or roasting.
Transfer cooked carrots to a blender or food processor. I’ve been loving my Vitamix for blending up baby food. It gets the purees super smooth!
Blend until smooth, adding breast milk, formula or water to thin – the carrot puree will likely be a bit too thick for stage 1 eaters without adding some sort of liquid to thin the puree. I like using breast milk or formula for extra nutrients, but you can use water as well (water used for the steaming or boiling process works great).
Let carrot puree cool and serve right away or portion into storage containers or ice cube trays for later use.
Carrot puree an be stored in the fridge for 3 days or in the freezer for 3 months.
How to Store Carrot Baby Food
Once you have the carrot puree blended to the consistency you want, let the mixture cool and then transfer into BPA-free storage containers or into an ice cube tray. I’ve been using silicone ice cube trays and these 4 oz glass storage containers. The ice cube trays are great for younger babies who aren’t eating as much volume because you can defrost one cube at a time. While the 4 oz jars are great for older babies who are eating more than 1 oz at a time.
We had the ice cube trays on hand and I just recently bought the WeeSprout glass storage containers that are specifically for baby food. I like that they have measurements on the side of the jars and that they’re glass instead of plastic (no worry about BPA). They are also freezer, dish-washer and microwave-safe. Plus they come with colorful lids that you can write on with a dry eraser marker to note the item and date.
The fresh carrot puree will keep in the fridge for 3 days and in the freezer for up to 3 months.
Don’t Forget to Label
I highly recommend labeling any baby food you make before storing! It’s amazing how quickly you forget what day you prepped the food once it goes into the fridge or freezer. #mombrain
How to Reheat or Thaw Frozen Carrot Puree
To thaw frozen pureed carrots, I recommend taking the jar out of the freezer the night before you want to use it so it can defrost in the fridge overnight. If you need to use it right away, you can thaw it using a water bath. Some people will recommend microwaving the frozen puree using the defrost seating but I prefer these two methods:
Defrost in the refrigerator: Place frozen puree cubes into a jar or baby’s serving dish, cover, and place in the refrigerator overnight. If you stored the puree in a jar or storage container, simply place the jar the fridge.
Water bath: Place frozen pureed cubes in a small container and set in another larger container with warm water. Replace the water as needed. Once defrosted, portion the food into individual bowls, cover, and refrigerate until serving.
Be sure to use any of the defrosted food within 48 hours of being defrosted and do not re-freeze.
Baby Food Combinations with Carrots
Once your baby is ready for stage 2 foods that are combinations, you can blend different fruits and veggies into the carrot puree. Here are some ideas of foods and spices that pair well with carrots.
Green veggies – peas, broccoli, green beans, zucchini, spinach
Orange veggies – butternut squash, sweet potatoes
Fruits – apples, peaches, pears
Carbs – brown rice, lentils, quinoa
Protein – beef, chicken
Herbs and Spices – cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, cumin, paprika, nutmeg, curry, mint
More Baby Food Recipes and Resources
Baby Oatmeal
Introducing Solids to Baby
6 Baby Food Combinations (Stage 2)
Sweet Potato Puree
Avocado Puree
Butternut Squash Puree
Pea Puree
Peach Baby Food
Banana Puree
Smash Cake
Banana Pancakes For Babies
Baby Yogurt Melts
Carrot Baby Food
4 from 39 votes
How to make carrot baby food by cooking and blending carrots into a smooth and creamy puree. Carrot puree make a great stage 1 starter food for babies.
Print Recipe
Pin Recipe
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 20 minutes
Total Time 25 minutes
Servings 12 oz
1 lb fresh organic carrots
1/4 – 1/2 cup breast milk, formula or water, to thin
spices or herbs of choice, optional
Peel carrots and chop into chunks. Try to make the carrot chunks around the same size so they will finish cooking around the same time. The smaller the chunks, the faster they will cook.
Fill a pot with about 1 inch of water, add carrots to a steamer basket and place inside of the pot. Bring water to a low boil, cover with lid and steam carrots for 15-20 minutes, or until fork tender. The cook time will depend on the size of your carrots.
Once carrots are tender remove pot from heat and allow carrots to a cool a bit before transferring to a blender or food processor. Puree carrots in the blender or food processor, adding liquid (breast milk, formula or water) as needed to get the desired consistency. If using water, the water leftover from steaming or boiling the carrots works great.
Transfer carrot puree into storage containers and store in the fridge for 3 days or freezer for 1 month.
You can boil or roast the carrots instead of steaming. See my tips in the blog post above.
Please leave a comment and star rating on this post and share on social media using the hashtag #eatingbirdfood. I love seeing your recipe shares!
Sweet Potato Puree {For Babies or Recipes}
Sweet potato puree is so easy to make. Just bake your sweet potatoes, peel and blend until smooth! It’s a great first food for babies, but can also be used in baking recipes, mixed into oatmeal, added to smoothies or served as a side dish.
I’ve been on a kick of making my own fruit and veggie purees! It all begin when I started making baby food for Olivia, but it’s definitely come in handy when local grocery stores are sold out thanks to all of the seasonal baking and holiday madness.
While it’s definitely easier to pick up a can of puree at the store, I think people overestimate how hard it is to make your own puree at home. This recipe is so simple and hands off… anyone can do it. Promise!
So today, I’m teaching you how to make an easy sweet potato puree that you can use in so many ways! First let’s chat about sweet potatoes and why they are one of my favorite vegetables.
Sweet Potato Nutrients
Sweet potatoes are a powerhouse vegetable! They’re packed with fiber, vitamins and minerals. They’re also high in antioxidants which help protect your body against free radical damage.
Studies have shown sweet potatoes positively impact gut, brain, eye and immune health. And some studies have shown that certain antioxidants in sweet potatoes may protect against certain cancers. Bottom line? They’re SO good for you and delicious! Now you have no excuses to not incorporate them into your diet. (Source)
Buying & Storing Sweet Potatoes
When shopping for sweet potatoes, look for firm, unwrinkled skins. Sweet potatoes come in all different colors – creamy white, deep orange and purple. I usually buy Beauregard, Jewel or Garnet sweet potatoes just because those varieties are typically available at my local grocery stores. That said, Beauregard sweet potatoes tend to be stringier so when given the option I go for Jewel or Garnet.
How to Cook Sweet Potatoes for Puree
The first step to making sweet potato puree is cooking the sweet potatoes. I have cracked the code to making perfect baked sweet potatoes so that’s the method I tend to use, but you can also steam or boil them.
Bake
Start by washing your sweet potatoes well. Use a fork to poke several holes in each potato – I usually poke 4 times for each potato! Place the potatoes directly on a baking sheet and bake at 400ºF for 60 minutes. Some people like to wrap their potatoes in aluminum foil but that actually steams the potato so just pop them right in the oven! You’ll know the potatoes are ready when they’re a little wrinkly and can easily be pierced with a fork.
Steam
I’ve used this method for making pureed sweet potatoes for Olivia. It’s a bit faster since you’re chopping the sweet potatoes into small chunks. To steam, simply peel the sweet potato, cut into cubes, about 1 inch in size and steam. Add about 1-2 inches of water to pot, place the steamer basket in and add sweet potato cubes. Boil water, cover and let the sweet potatoes steam until soft.
Boil
Boiling is another quick option. Simply peel the sweet potato and cut into cubes, about 1 inch in size. Bring a pot of water to a boil and add sweet potato chunks. Reduce to a simmer and cook until tender, around 15 minutes.
How to Puree Sweet Potatoes
After your sweet potatoes are fully cooked, remove them from the oven and set them aside to cool. Once you can hold them without burning yourself, use your hands to peel the skin away from the flesh, if you haven’t peeled them already. You can toss the skin or snack on it if you want – it’s loaded with nutrients!
When it comes to pureeing the sweet potatoes I usually use my food processor or Vitamix blender, but you can also use an immersion blender, potato masher or even a fork.
Food processor – Add the cooked potatoes to your food processor and blend until smooth.
Blender – Add the cooked potatoes to a high-powered blender and blend until smooth.
Immersion blender – Add the cooked potatoes to a large bowl or pot and blend until smooth.
Masher – Add the cooked potatoes to a large bowl or pot and use a potato masher (or fork) to mash the potato. This will result in a chunkier puree and is a great option when serving to older babies.
How to Use Sweet Potato Puree
Plain sweet potato puree is a great first food for babies. For more advanced eaters you can combine the sweet potato puree with another puree or even add it to yogurt or oatmeal. Check out more combo ideas for baby below!
Make a simple side dish by mixing in butter, salt and pepper and any fresh or dried herbs you’d like! You could also play off of the sweetness and make a coconut oil, cinnamon and salt version… yum!
Mix it into these delicious sweet potato brownie bites, sweet potato brownies, sweet potato breakfast cookies or sweet potato baked oatmeal.
Use in quick breads or muffins in place of applesauce or pumpkin puree. This helps keep the oil/fat content down while still making a perfectly light and fluffy baked good.
Add it to a smoothie for some added fiber and flavor. I think it would be delicious in place of the pumpkin puree in this pumpkin pie smoothie!
Add to oatmeal for extra color, flavor and creaminess!
Mix with creamy hummus for extra flavor and nutrients… plus it will make it a beautiful orange color!
Mix it into pancakes or waffles – follow this recipe for pumpkin pancakes but swap the pumpkin puree for sweet potato puree!
Tip!
If you're serving this sweet potato puree to a baby, you can thin it out a little by adding a splash of milk (regular or breast milk works great!).
Sweet Potato Puree for Babies
When you start solids with your child, sweet potato puree is a great first food. It was Olivia’s first food! I just mixed it with breast milk so it was super thin.
It’s obviously delicious on it’s own, but can be combined with a variety of other foods for stage 2 and beyond. I love the combo of sweet potato and apple that I shared in my baby food combinations post.
Seasonings and spices – curry, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon
Sweet Potato Baby Food Combos Ideas
Apple, cinnamon and sweet potato
Sweet potato, carrot, apple and banana
Broccoli, sweet potato and butternut squash
Black bean, sweet potato and cumin
Sweet potato and spinach
Sweet potato and beets
How to Store Sweet Potato Baby Food
Fresh sweet potato baby food should be stored in the fridge and used within 3 days. For longer storage, I recommend freezing the sweet potato puree! I like using silicone ice cube trays and these 4 oz glass storage containers. The ice cube trays are great for younger babies who aren’t eating as much volume because you can defrost one cube at a time. While the 4 oz jars are great for older babies who are eating more than 1 oz at a time.
How to Thaw Frozen Sweet Potato Puree
I recommend thawing frozen sweet potato puree in the fridge the night before you want to use it, but you can also thaw it quickly with a warm water bath. It thaws quickly if you’re defrosting a small amount to serve to a baby.
More Puree Recipes to Try
Butternut Squash Puree
Peach Puree
Carrot Puree
Banana Puree
Pumpkin Puree
Applesauce
Strawberry Chia Jam
Strawberry Puree
Blueberry Puree
6 Baby Food Recipes
The Most Popular Sweet Potato Recipes
Sweet Potato Bites
Roasted Sweet Potato Kale Frittata
Sweet Potato Casserole
Sweet Potato Soup
Baked Sweet Potato Chips
Sweet Potato Pie
Dessert Baked Sweet Potato
Sweet Potato Puree
4 from 7 votes
Sweet potato puree is so easy to make. Just bake your sweet potatoes, peel and blend until smooth! It’s a great first food for babies, but can also be used in baking recipes, mixed into oatmeal, added to smoothies or served as a side dish.
Print Recipe
Pin Recipe
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 1 hour
Total Time 1 hour 5 minutes
Servings 3 cups
2 sweet potatoes
Preheat oven to 400°F. Wash sweet potatoes and poke holes with a fork (about 4 for each potato). Place potatoes on a baking sheet and place in the center of the oven.
Bake for about 60 minutes or until the sweet potatoes are a bit wrinkly and fork tender.
Remove from oven and let cool. Once cool enough to handle, use your hands to peel the skin away from the flesh. Discard the skin (or snack on it).
Add potato flesh to your food processor and blend until smooth.
Use in recipes that call for sweet potato puree, serve as baby food or add seasonings to make a delicious side dish.
Please leave a comment and star rating on this post and share on social media using the hashtag #eatingbirdfood. I love seeing your recipe shares!
When is a child ready to start solids?
Diving into the world of solid food with your baby is a messy, adorable milestone that, let’s be honest, sometimes feels a little confusing. While some little ones happily slurp down baby cereal at 6 months, others won’t go near a mashed carrot until they’re hitting the 9-month mark — what gives?
The truth is, while solid food exposes babies to new tastes and textures, it’s not even necessary in the very beginning (yes, really).
“While the general recommendation for starting solids is between 4 and 6 months old, solids at this point are more about introducing baby to new tastes and developing oral motor function,” says Dr. Melanie Custer, a pediatrician at Deaconess Clinic in Evansville, Indiana. “Breast milk or formula should continue to be the primary source of nutrition through 12 months.”
Of course, when your baby is eyeballing your bowl of oatmeal every morning, it’s only natural to start wondering when to start baby food. Here, experts and veteran parents weigh in on the dos and don’ts of starting solids, a.k.a. Stage 1 baby foods. Ready the bibs!
What is Stage 1 baby food?
Stage 1 baby foods are single-ingredient foods that are very thin in consistency. You can either buy them at the store or make them yourself, as long as they’re a smooth puree with zero chunks and include just one ingredient so you’re introducing your baby to one new food at a time.
And remember, every child is different and develops at their own individual pace. Check with your child’s doctor for baby food recommendations during the first year.
When to start Stage 1 baby food
According to Custer, the reason it’s recommended that full-term babies wait until 6 months to try solids is because they’re losing iron stores that were built during pregnancy, and iron is important for infants’ brain development.
“Growing babies need all the nutrients they can get — and breast milk and formula are both far superior to solids when it comes to nutrients, including iron,” says Jenifer Thompson, an advanced practice dietician at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. “It’s important to remember that solid foods are also called complementary foods because their intention is to complement the breast milk and/or formula baby is drinking.”
Thompson also notes that offering solids too early on — prior to 4 months — has been associated with excessive weight gain and adiposity (excess fat) in preschool and older ages.
Signs baby is ready to start solid food
Knowing your baby is ready for Stage 1 foods goes beyond celebrating their half-year birthday. It’s important to look out for developmental and social signals, as well.
“One of the biggest indicators that your baby is ready for solid foods is that they’re showing an interest in what other family members are eating,” says Dr. Kristen Treegoob, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.
If you notice baby staring at your food and opening their mouth or leaning forward if food is ever offered, these are signs that solid foods have piquéd your baby’s interest, according to Thompson.
“I knew my son was ready for solids when, at 7 months, he started staring — like, really staring — at all of our food during dinner,” says mom of two Erin Henderson, of Waltham, Massachusetts. “It reached a point where we felt bad eating in front of him!”
Other signs your baby may be ready for solids, according to Custer and Thompson, include:
They can sit up with little to no support.
They can hold their head up without being wobbly.
Their tongue thrust reflex has disappeared. “Before introducing solids, it’s important to make sure your baby can open their mouth for a spoon and accept food off of it, rather than pushing it away with their tongue, which is an involuntary habit until about 4 months,” says Custer.
What Stage 1 baby food to start with
According to Thompson, it’s recommended that early solid foods provide a source of iron, protein and zinc. But remember, you’re complementing your baby’s diet, not revamping it, so it’s OK to get a little creative and go with your gut.
“There is no medical evidence that solid foods must be introduced in any particular order, or that vegetables must be introduced before fruits to ensure that they don’t have a preference for sweets and will it not lead to a dislike of vegetables,” says Thompson.
And once you get going, continue to mix it up.
“There is no one-size-fits-all for solid food introduction, and we typically recommend parents introduce a variety of tastes, colors and food groups in the first few months,” says Treegoob. “That said, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that breastfed infants first begin with iron-rich foods, which include iron-fortified infant cereals and iron-rich pureed meats. Formula-fed infants typically get enough iron through formula, so they may have a little more flexibility at first.”
Here’s a list of first foods to try (make sure all are pureed to very thin consistency):
Bananas.
Avocados.
Sweet potatoes.
Carrots.
Pureed meats, such as chicken and turkey.
Butternut squash.
Peaches.
Applesauce.
Grains, such as barley, oats, wheat and rice.
Custer does note that infants should not eat raw or cooked honey until 12 months, as it might contain spores that can cause infantile botulism, a serious illness that can hamper an infant’s ability to move, eat and breathe. For more tips on food storage, our experts weigh in on how long baby food lasts.
How to start Stage 1 foods safely
When your baby first starts experimenting with solids, keep in mind it’s a gradual process, and you’re still a ways off from three solid meals per day. In the beginning, it’s best to think of solids as more of a snack than a meal.
“Babies will often start with just a bite or two at first and advance to three to four tablespoons at a time,” says Custer. “When they’re first starting off around 6 months, they can have solids one or two times a day. ”
“Foods should be offered one at a time when babies are starting off with solids,” says Thompson. “Then, wait between three to four days before introducing a new one, so you can properly identify an adverse reaction or intolerance.”
Here are a few more tips for feeding your baby:
Make sure they’re sitting in an upright position, such as in a highchair, to prevent the risk of choking.
Add a little breast milk or formula to their food. “At first, foods should be just slightly thicker than breast milk or formula to allow the infant to get used to eating,” Custer says. “Foods can get thicker as their eating skills are mastered.”
Always feed your baby with a spoon. “Unless you’ve been advised by your pediatrician, never put solid foods, including infant cereal, in bottles with or without milk,” says Treegoob.
Give baby breast milk or formula first. “Both of my babies were more open to trying solid foods in the beginning when they were happy and relaxed,” says mom of two Darcy McConnell of Garwood, New Jersey. “That was always after they had their bottle.”
Also, be patient. Starting solids is a learning curve for everyone.
“If your baby turns their head away, spits out food or pushes you away with their hands when you try to feed them solid food, then they are not quite ready,” says Treegoob. “Try again in a few days.”
How baby-led weaning works
A less conventional way to start your baby on real food is baby-led weaning, which forgoes what’s thought of as Stage 1 baby food altogether, as well as a spoon.
“The baby-led weaning approach to introducing solid foods recommends that purees and traditional baby foods be omitted, and to start with finger foods, as well as self-feeding right from the beginning,” says Thompson. “This method may be preferred for some, but should always be discussed with a pediatrician since a possible concern of this method is the risk of choking, which could be minimized with appropriate food choices.”
Proponents of baby-led weaning believe that letting baby pick, choose and explore food on their own will help with appetite control overall (possibly reducing the risk of obesity later in life), as well as promote a taste for a wider range of foods. All of this said, research on baby-led weaning is still fairly scant, so it’s important to discuss it with your pediatrician if you choose to take this approach.
Ready for the next stages?
Stage 2 baby food
Stage 3 baby food
Stage 1 Homemade Baby Food Recipes for Baby 4 to 6 Months and older.
“Baby” cereal and soft cooked thinly pureed fruits and veggies should be baby’s first solid food experiences. Single ingredients only and at a space of 4 days apart with introducing each new food. You may skip the cereal and begin with a fruit like avocado or begin with a veggie like butternut squash or sweet potato.
Stage 1 Baby Food is a term that applies to baby foods that are highly pureed and strained. These foods are appropriate for babies who are just being introduced to solid foods. The foods in this range are targeted to babies who are between the ages of (4) 6 to 8 months old.
Stage 1 baby foods are thin and runny and are foods that are the lowest on the allergy scale. Stage 1 baby foods are typically those foods that are also more easily digested by a tiny tummy. Some of these foods include, sweet potatoes, butternut or winter squash and carrots. The term “Stage 1” was introduced by the Beechnut Baby Food Company to let parents know that these foods are appropriate for their infants who are just being introduced to solid foods.
There is a growing trend of parents skipping “stage 1” foods that are thin and runny purees. Many parents are turning to a more baby-led weaning approach and are offering soft cooked small bits of age-appropriate foods as they begin to introduce solid foods. Your baby might just be interested in this feeding approach!
1/4 c. rice powder (brown rice ground in blender or food processor)
1 cup water
Step 1: Bring liquid to boil in saucepan. Add the rice powder while stirring constantly.
Step 2: Simmer for 10 minutes, whisking constantly, mix in formula or breast milk and fruits if desired
Step 3: Serve warm.
Oatmeal Cereal
1/4 c. of ground oats (do NOT use instant or Quick Cook), ground in blender or food processor
3/4 c. water
Step 1: Bring liquid to boil in saucepan. Add the rice powder while stirring constantly.
Step 2: Simmer for 10 minutes, whisking constantly, mix in formula or breast milk and fruits if desired
Step 3: Serve warm.
Barley Cereal
1/4 c. ground barley (barley ground in blender or food processor)
1 cup water
Step 1: Bring liquid to a boil. Add the barley and simmer for 10 minutes, whisking constantly
Step 2: Mix in formula or breast milk or juice and add fruits if desired
Step 3: Serve warm
Did you know that baby’s first food does not have to be a commercial infant rice cereal? Many pediatric resources are acknowledging the fact that avocado, banana and sweet potato make great first foods for baby. For More Information About Homemade Baby Cereal, visit Our Homemade Baby Cereal FAQ
Feeding Baby Stage 1 Baby Foods
Start out slowly, preparing a tablespoon sized portion of whatever food you have chosen to begin with. Some parents begin offering their babies solid foods by using their (clean and washed) finger as a spoon. They say that this helps their babies take to solid foods because the “new” spoon and the “new” food all at once seem to confuse baby.
You will probably only manage to have baby eat 1/2 of the tablespoon sized portion the very first times you begin solids. Don’t fret if your baby does not “finish” a meal.
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Calcium
1 pound dried apricots
2 cups of white grape juice, pear or apple juice. Plain water is ok but the puree may be a bit bitter.
Step 1: Bring liquid and fruit to a boil and simmer for 15 minutes.
Step 2: Reserve any left over liquid to use for the puree
Step 3: Place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 4: Add the reserved liquid as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin puree or
Step 5: Add cereal (if desired) to thicken up
Step 6: Note: puree will not freeze solid, but into slightly soft/slightly frozen cubes.
Have you ever Baked Fruits? If not, I highly recommend it. Baked fruits are naturally sweet, soft and oh so very yummy.
Apples/Applesauce (4)6 months+ Try Gala, Braeburn, Rome or Macs)
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Magnesium, Calcium
This recipe is written so that you may use any amount of apples you wish.
Step 1: Peel, core and cut apple into slices/chunks
Step 2: Place slices or chunks into a pan with just enough water to slightly cover apples
Step 3: Boil/steam until tender; be sure to check on the water level and stir, T hat’s It. Easy Peasy.
Step 4: Apples may be mashed with a potato masher to achieve a smooth applesauce consistency. If your masher will not achieve a puree type of consistency, then follow steps 5 – 7
Step 5: Reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the apples
Step 6: Place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 7: Add the reserved water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin puree
Step 8: Add cereal (if desired) to thicken up the
Step 9: Ask your pediatrician about adding some cinnamon for new tastes.
You may also buy an “Adult” jar of Natural applesauce from your local grocers. Make sure you buy Natural Applesauce however. Read the labels if you are unsure. The only ingredients should be apples and water or just apples. A few companies may add ascorbic acid (vitamin C) or citric acid to their Natural Applesauce; this is fine.
Step 1: Peel and take out the pit of a ripe avocado – do not cook
Step 2: Cut “meat” out and mash with a fork
Step 3: There should be no need to use a machine as just like bananas, avocados have a very soft consistency and texture. Avocados do not need to be cooked.
Visit the Avocado Baby Food page for more recipes and Information
Baked Apples 6-8 months+
Step 1: Core apple and leave peel on
Step 2: Place a wee bit of butter (if baby is ready for or has had dairy) on the inside of the cored apple (sprinkle a bit of cinnamon in the apple if your desire and if baby is ready for or has had cinnamon)
Step 3: Place in a pan with just enough water to slightly cover apples – about an inch of water
Step 4: Bake in a 400-degree oven for 30 minutes or until tender; be sure to check on the water level.
Step 5: Once baked, either cut apple into little bits and serve as a finger food or mash as directed above in the Apples/Applesauce recipe.
Banana Applesauce Mush (4)6 months+
1 apple
1 ripe banana
Step 1: Peel, core and cut apple into slices/chunks
Step 2: Place slices or chunks into a pan with just enough water to slightly cover apples
Step 3: Boil until tender; be sure to check on the water level.
Step 4: Apples may be mashed with a potato masher to achieve a smooth applesauce consistency or you can puree in an appliance as shown above
Step 5: Peel a ripe banana and mash in a bowl with a fork (heating in the microwave for approximately 20 seconds will soften the banana up if needed)
Step 6: Add applesauce to the banana and sprinkle with wheat germ* or crushed cheerios*
Step 7: Puree if necessary but mashing with a potato masher will typically get this mix smooth
*8 months+
Back to Top
Bananas (4)6 months+
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Selenium, Magnesium, Calcium
1 Banana or however many you wish
Step 1: Peel ripe banana – do not cook
Step 2: Place banana in a food processor/food mill or blender and puree
Step 3: You can also mash the banana in a bowl using a regular fork – heat in microwave for 25 seconds prior to mashing for extra softness
Step 4: Add formula/breast milk or water to thin or add cereal (if desired) to thicken up.
Mango Madness 6-8months+
Vitamins: A (1262 IU in one cup), C, E, K, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium, Sodium
1 Ripe Mango
Step 1: Peel, de- seed and chunk the mango
Step 2: Place mango chunks in a blender or food processor
Step 3: Add Formula, Breast Milk, or Water and blend or mash until the proper consistency for your Infant is achieved.
How to Cut A Mango:
Cut the mango lengthwise, along the side of the mango pit. You will be cutting off its flesh from one side then repeating the same process on the other side. You will then cut the ends off the mango pit.
Cut the remaining flesh from the pit. Use a small sharp knife peel the skin from the flesh. Dice or cube as desired. It is easier to make your cubes/dices prior to removing the skin. Make sure you don’t cut through it. Once you have made your cube/dice “pattern” simply turn the skin skin inside out and slice the pieces away.
*Mango does not need to be cooked as it is typically introduced at an age where baby can tolerate raw fruits. Mango may be steamed to tender and then mashed if you prefer without harming it. You may use mango as a great Baby Finger Foods. Simply peel, de-seed and then cut into dices or chunks that are manageable for your baby. You may wish to coat the mango pieces with “cheerio dust”, wheat germ or another cereal “dust” to help baby easily pick up the bits.
Papaya 6-8months+
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Calcium
1 ripe papaya
Step 1: Peel, de-seed and chunk the papaya
Step 2: Place papaya chunks in a blender or food processor
Step 3: Add formula, breast milk, or water and blend or mash until the proper consistency for your Infant is achieved.
Some parents who have infants with sensitive tummies will give fruits a gentle steaming to help break down the sugars and fibers for easier digestion. If you feel this is the case for your infant, chunk the papaya and then steam for 5-10 minutes until very soft.
Pears, Plums, Peaches and Nectarines too
Pear(Great for Constipation.) (4)6 months+
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium
Step 1: Peel and cut into chunks so as to avoid the little seed portion.
Step 2: Steam gently until tender if baby is under 6 months.
Step 3: Place in a blender/food processor and puree until smooth; you may be able to just use a fork!
Step 4: Use the leftover cooking water if needed but Pears tend to be very runny and watery without adding liquid.
Step 5: Add some baby cereal to thicken if needed.
Plums (4)6-8 months+
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium
2-3 ripe plums
Step 1: Peel and pit the plums
Step 2: Cut into chunks
Step 3: Steam until tender in a scant amount of water if baby is under 6 months.
Step 4: Puree using the leftover cooking liquid.
You may need to mix in another fruit as plum purée has a tendency to be rather tart and/or bitter
Peaches (4)6-8 months+
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium
You may steam or bake peaches; these methods work for nectarines, plums and pears as well. I HIGHLY recommend giving baked peaches a try at least once. You will find they are more tasty when baked.
Steam Peaches – Method 1
Step 1: Scrub fruit clean and carve an X into 1 side of the fruit
Step 2: Place X side down in a pan with an inch of water
Step 3: Bring water to a boil and steam until soft and tender
Step 4: Peel skin from fruit and remove pits and/or seeds
Step 5: Move to step #6 below
Steam Peaches – Method 2
Step 1: Peel fruit
Step 2: Pit the peach
Step 3: Cut the peach into dices
Step 4: Steam until soft and tender then
Step 5: Move to step #6 below
Bake
Step 1: Halve the fruit and place “open” side down in a pan filled with 1 inch of water
Step 2: Bake at 400F until soft and tender and/or puckering of the skin appears.
Step 3: Peel skin from fruit and remove pits and/or seeds then
Step 4: move to step #6
Step 5: Reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the fruits
Step 6: Peel off skin then place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 7: Add the reserved water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin puree
Step 8: Add cereal (if desired) to thicken up. Back to Top
Prunes 6-8 months+
Vitamins: A, C, Folate Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium
1 small bag of dried prunes (try to use unsulphured dried fruits whenever possible!)
Step 1: Soak dried prunes in warm water until they plump up or steam gently.
Step 2: Once plump and tender, toss into food processor or blender and begin to puree.
Step 3: Add liquid without sparing any. Prunes tend to become a pasty gluey consistency when pureed and the more water you add, the easier it is to puree to a texture your baby will tolerate.
Pumpkin (4)6-8months+
Read more about Pumpkin on the Pumpkin Baby Food page
Vitamins: A (12230 IU in 1 cup.), C, K, Folate, Niacin Minerals: Potassium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Calcium, Iron
1 medium sugar pumpkin, no heavier than 5 pounds
Step 1: Cut sugar pumpkin (the kind meant to be baked and eaten.) in half, scoop out seeds
Step 2: Place an inch of water in a baking pan, then place the halves “face” down in the pan. Check on water level while baking
Step 3: Bake in a 400 degree oven for 40 minutes or until the “shell/skin” puckers and halves feel soft then scoop squash “meat” out of the shell
Step 4: Place pumpkin “meat” into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 5: Add water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency.
Step 6: You can also peel the pumpkin, scoop out the seeds and then cut into chunks and boil/steam until tender (like when boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes) then follow steps 4 and 5.
You may also buy a can of pumpkin from your local grocers. Make sure you buy Pumpkin and NOT Pumpkin Pie mix however. Read the labels if you are unsure. The only ingredients should be pumpkin and water or just pumpkin. You do not need to cook canned pumpkin. You may thin the pumpkin with whatever liquid you prefer and then serve or warm and serve. You may also freeze canned pumpkin in ice cube trays if you wish.
Step 1: If using Fresh Beans, snap the ends off the beans and wash the beans. If using Fresh Peas, open the pods and scrape out the peas from the pod. If using frozen of either Peas or Green Beans, cook according to package directions.
Step 2: Place fresh beans into a steamer basket in a pan with a just enough water to slightly show through in the basket.
Step 3: Steam until very tender; be sure to check on the water level.
Step 4: Reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the beans.
Step 5: Place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing. It is best to use the setting that makes the finest liquid purees – green bean and pea skins are rather difficult to completely puree.
***Using a blender rather than a food processor or stick mixer might be better as well. ***
6. Add the reserved water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency
7. You may wish to push the green beans (or peas) through a sieve or mesh strainer to get rid of any remaining skins.
Step 2: Place chunks into a steamer pan with just enough water visible through the steamer basket
Step 3: Steam until tender
Step 4: Do not reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the carrots if baby is under 8 months old as Nitrates may seep into the cooking water
Step 5: Place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 6: Add water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency
*(See Our article on Nitrates)
Garden Vegetable Combo
6-8 months+ after all vegetables have been introduced following the 4 Day Wait Rule
Green Beans, Summer Squash, Peas and Carrots
Step 1: Combine fresh or frozen green beans and peas, summer and/or zucchini squash and small pieces of chopped carrots.
Step 2: Add enough water to just cover the vegetables.
Step 3: Cook until tender, reserving water.
Step 4: Puree vegetables in blender or food processor,
Step 5: Adding reserved water from the vegetables until mixture is of the desired consistency.
Step 1: If using Fresh Peas, open the pods and scrape out the peas from the pod. If using frozen type of either Peas or Green Beans, cook according to package directions.
Step 2: Place fresh peas into a steamer basket in a pan with a just enough water to slightly show through in the basket.
Step 3: Steam until very tender; be sure to check on the water level.
Step 4: Reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the peas.
Step 5: Place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing. It is best to use the setting that makes the finest liquid purees – green bean and pea skins are rather difficult to completely puree. Using a blender rather than a food processor or stick mixer might be better as well.
Step 6: Add the reserved water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency
Step 7: You may wish to push the peas (or green beans) through a sieve or mesh strainer to get rid of any remaining skins
Why can’t I get peas and green beans to puree smooth?
If you are using a Food Processor, try the Blender. The Blender seems to work the best for getting Peas into a more fine puree. Peas and green beans are very hard to get pureed into a very fine, smooth consistency. You can put them in a strainer and work out the “skins” if using fresh or you can use frozen for a smoother consistency and minimal effort to work out the “skins”.
Another method for getting beans and peas smoother is to immediately plunge them into ice cold water once you remove them from the stove top. Once cooled, puree as usual.
You may also use beans/legumes (kidney beans, lentils, split peas etc..) if your doctor says it is OK for baby’s age.
Please keep in mind that you will never be able to achieve the consistency equal to that of the baby food that comes in jars. Some parents choose to leave green beans and peas for later introduction, when baby enjoys texture and is able to eat them as Baby Finger Foods
(nutrient info for squash of all types may be found at the Squash for Baby page)
1 medium sized butternut or acorn squash
Step 1: Cut acorn, hubbard, or butternut squash in half, scoop out seeds
Step 2: Place an inch of water in a baking pan, then place squash halves “face” down
in the pan. Check on water level while baking
Step 3: Bake in a 400 degree oven for 40 minutes or until the “shell/skin” puckers and halves feel soft then scoop squash “meat” out of the shell
Step 4: Place squash “meat” into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 5: Add water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency.
Step 6: You can also peel the squash, scoop out the seeds and then cut into chunks and boil/steam until tender (like when boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes) then follow steps 4 and 5
Squash (Summer/Zucchini) 6-8 months+
nutrient info for squash of all types may be found at the “Tips on Squash” page
3-4 small to medium sized yellow squash or zucchini
Step 1: Choose yellow squash or zucchini that are somewhat small in diameter, as these are the most tender.
Step 2: Wash squash thoroughly and cut into small slices or chunks. Do not remove skins.
*You may remove skins however an infant over the age of 8 months old should be able to digest squash puree with skins on
Step 3: Steam until tender then place into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 4: Add water as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency
Step 1: Wash and poke holes in sweet potato with fork then wrap sweet potatoes in tin foil – do not peel for baking/microwaving (you can also do this in the microwave – only use plastic wrap and cook for 8 minutes on high or until tender).
Step 2: Place in a 400 degree oven and bake for 30 minutes or until soft
OR
Step 1: Peel sweet potatoes and cut into small chunks
Step 2: Place chunks into a pan with just enough water to slightly cover potato
Step 3: “Steam” boil until tender, be sure to check on the water level.
Step 4: Reserve any left over water to use for thinning out the sweet potatoes
Step 5: If you have baked your sweet potato, remove skins and use liquid from your preferred source
Step 6: Place sweet potato into your choice of appliance for pureeing and begin pureeing.
Step 7: Add the reserved water or other liquid as necessary to achieve a smooth, thin consistency
Remember, always consult with your pediatrician regarding introducing solid foods to your baby and specifically discuss any foods that may pose allergy risks for your baby.
These Stage 1 Homemade Baby Food Recipes are age appropriate for those babies who are between 4 and 6 months of age. Many babies start solid foods between 4 months and 6 months. Stage One fruits and veggies we have included are foods that your 4 month old baby who is a beginning eater will be able to tolerate. Of course, these recipes are also just yummy for babies who are older as well!
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Treatment of obesity in children | causes, diet, nutrition
In recent years, there has been a rapid increase in the number of children and adolescents who have problems with being overweight. Excessive deposition of adipose tissue in the body, that is, obesity, is a disease that must be treated. Obesity in children can lead to serious health problems: diseases of the gastrointestinal tract (constipation, diarrhea, cholecystitis, pancreatitis, etc.), cardiovascular system (arterial hypertension, heart problems), atherosclerosis, insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes , sexual development disorders, endocrine and metabolic disorders, arthrosis, sleep apnea, bulimia, anorexia, etc. And this, not to mention psychological difficulties, problems with self-esteem, complexes, ridicule of classmates … In general, if you suspect your child has excess weight – do not let things take their course, contact an endocrinologist!
Our consultant: Natalya Vladimirovna Michurina, endocrinologist, nutritionist of the Euromed clinic.
How to determine the presence of obesity?
Obesity in a child, just like in an adult, is based on measuring the body mass index (the ratio of height to weight, calculated by the formula: body weight (kg) / [height (m)] 2), as well as anthropometric measurements: the doctor looks at the circumference waist, hips.
Obesity diagnosis is set when the actual body weight of the child exceeds the age limit by more than 15%, and the body mass index exceeds 30.
Causes of obesity in children
The development of obesity, as a rule, is influenced by both genetic predisposition and lifestyle. In fact, excess weight appears when there is an energy imbalance – when more calories are consumed than are spent. That is, in other words, with an unbalanced diet, overeating and low physical activity.
In addition, obesity can develop due to serious pathological conditions and genetic diseases.
Children who are overweight usually don’t eat the healthiest foods. Their diet is dominated by fast carbohydrates: baked goods, sweets, desserts, juices, carbonated drinks; as well as fats: fast food, fried, fatty foods. At the same time, protein, fiber and water are very small.
Physical activity for modern children is also not enough: they spend most of the day sitting at their desks at school, doing their homework, playing computer games, watching TV or a tablet. That is, children have a fairly intense mental load, but there is a catastrophic lack of movement.
If obesity is detected, the doctor will most likely recommend performing a biochemical blood test, a study of the hormonal profile. Your child may need to perform an ultrasound of the thyroid gland, an ultrasound of the abdominal organs, an MRI of the pituitary gland, and some other examinations. In addition to the help of an endocrinologist, a child may need to consult a neurologist, geneticist, gastroenterologist, cardiologist, orthopedist, psychotherapist and other specialists.
Types of obesity
Depending on the causes of occurrence, two forms of obesity are distinguished: primary and secondary.
Primary may be associated with hereditary predisposition (exogenous-constitutional) and associated with malnutrition (alimentary). In such cases, the family plays a huge role in the formation of obesity, since the peculiarities of nutrition and lifestyle, the desire to play sports, are instilled primarily by parents.
When we talk about a hereditary predisposition, we are not talking about the fact that excess weight is inherited – the features of the flow of metabolic processes in the body are genetically determined. That is, how fast the child’s metabolism depends on heredity, how quickly he will gain weight when overeating.
Nutritional obesity, most often, occurs during critical periods of development: up to 3 years, in early childhood (the risk group for obesity includes children weighing more than 4 kg at birth, gaining too much weight monthly, being bottle-fed ), preschool age, at 5-7 years old, and during puberty – at 12-16 years old.
Secondary obesity occurs as a result of various congenital and acquired diseases: endocrinopathies, lesions of the central nervous system, psychopathological conditions, etc. Most often, endocrine diseases lead to secondary obesity (problems with the thyroid gland, adrenal glands, pituitary gland, ovaries in girls). Thus, obesity can be a symptom of the disease, but only a doctor can deal with this.
There are four degrees of obesity in children:
Obesity I degree – the body weight of the child exceeds the norm by 15-24%.
Obesity II degree – the body weight of the child exceeds the norm by 25-49%.
Obesity III degree – the body weight of the child exceeds the norm by 50–99%.
Obesity IV degree – body weight exceeds the allowable age norm by more than 100%.
Treatment of obesity
In the treatment of obesity, the main measures are aimed at reducing body weight and preventing subsequent weight gain.
If obesity is secondary, then the doctor will begin with the treatment of the pathology that provokes the development of obesity. But both with primary and secondary obesity, to reduce body weight, a change in the child’s lifestyle is necessary: correction of the diet and rational physical activity.
First of all, it is recommended to limit foods containing animal fats and fast carbohydrates in the child’s diet. Meals should be 5-7 meals a day. Together with the doctor, the daily calorie intake for the child is calculated, and parents must comply with it.
In parallel with changing the diet, it is necessary to change the motor mode of the child. For very young children, long walks and outdoor games are recommended, preschoolers and schoolchildren need to add age-appropriate sports activities (swimming, cycling, athletics, etc.). It is important to understand that a doctor can determine the causes of obesity and give detailed recommendations, but parents should control the child’s nutrition and physical activity. And you need to take it as seriously as possible!
Prevention of obesity
Any problem is easier to prevent than to treat. Therefore, the task of parents from the earliest age of the child is to organize an adequate diet and physical activity for him.
Set the goal of developing healthy eating habits in your child, instill in him a love for healthy proper nutrition. Do not abuse fast food and sweets – the later your child gets to know these products, the better. The child’s diet should consist of a large number of vegetables, fruits, complex carbohydrates (cereals, whole grain bread), lean meat, fish, low-fat dairy products.
Instill in your child a love of movement. With the little ones, you can do gymnastics and visit the pool (children’s pools accept babies from two months old), walk in the fresh air as much as possible. When the baby starts walking – do not limit him, let him walk, run, fall, get dirty, hit – he will learn the world through movement.
When the child grows up, enroll him in the sports section. Now there are a huge number of circles for children of various levels of training. Choose with your child what kind of sport he likes: running, dancing, cycling, skiing, figure skating, hockey, football, basketball, swimming, wrestling – there are a lot of options. Be sure to support your child’s passion for sports.
Of course, it is important that parents show their child an example of a healthy lifestyle, you will agree that you cannot convince a child to eat broccoli and steam cutlets at a time when you yourself are having dinner with french fries. Yes, and such nutrition is not useful for parents, but motor loads are necessary. So organize a healthy lifestyle for the whole family – and you will avoid serious health problems for yourself and your child.
Nutrition of a child in the 2nd year of life: regime, diet, menu, necessary products | Mamovedia
The child in this period of life grows intensively and therefore must receive nutrition that quantitatively and qualitatively satisfies the needs of his body.
Nutrition should be rational: balanced and consistent with the daily routine. Balance – the inclusion of all the necessary nutrients (proteins, fats, carbohydrates, vitamins, trace elements) in the appropriate proportions that the child’s body can absorb.
Nutrition is considered rational if it meets the age needs of the child and is carried out according to the daily routine.
In addition, the so-called rational nutrition includes the culinary processing of food used for a given age, and the correct methodological methods of parents in the process of feeding a child.
The atmosphere surrounding the baby during the meal, the appearance of the dishes served should excite the child’s appetite.
Child’s appetite is a state of organic need for food, expressed in the child’s desire to eat. At the same time, an adequate positive attitude of the child to food is noted.
A good appetite, as a rule, depends not only on how well the menu is compiled, but also on the correct organization of the feeding process. To form and maintain a good appetite, parents must clearly know: what, when and how to feed the child.
How nice it is to feed a child who has a good appetite. It brings pleasure to adults and great benefits for the baby. However, very often it is necessary to observe cases of violation of normal appetite from small deviations (decrease in appetite, refusal of certain dishes) up to its complete absence (anorexia – as it is called in medical practice).
A child with a decrease or lack of appetite at the mere sight of writing or a reminder of food expresses protest, turns away, defends himself, tightly closes his lips and teeth. It looks like an unnatural negative reaction of the baby to food. Why does a child lose his appetite? Who is to blame for this? The reasons often lie in the wrong method of feeding (strong pressure on the child’s tongue with a spoon, the child’s lack of interest in food), in the negative sensations associated with eating (too hot food, poor taste), improper organization of the situation during feeding (distraction with a book, toy, punishment), etc.
Many parents, seeing a decrease in appetite, try to force-feed their child, but this further reinforces the child’s negative attitude towards food and everything connected with it. This is strictly prohibited.
If a child suddenly lost his appetite, first of all think about whether you could have made mistakes in the process of upbringing and feeding, in especially persistent cases, you should consult a pediatrician.
During feeding, do not forget to introduce the child to the names of dishes (soup, cutlet, compote, etc.) and the properties of objects (food is tasty, sweet, sour, salty, hot, cold, a large spoon, a small one, etc.) .). In this way, the first ideas, concepts will be formed in the child.
Eating processes should be organized in such a way that the child has a desire to eat. Before eating, you should arrange a calm pause after a long walk or noisy and active games.
You should not give your child new interesting toys shortly before feeding, and quickly take them away before eating. By doing this, you will cause a strong emotional reaction that will slow down food arousal and reduce appetite.
While eating with a child, one should only talk about what is connected with this process, concentrating his attention on food, developing the child’s active participation in eating.
A child’s appetite is increased not only by deliciously prepared food, but also by its beautiful design, attractive dishes specially painted for children. Children should only be seated at the table when food has already been served. You should not put all the dishes on the table at once, the child is distracted from the first dish, reaches for the third or second, as a result, the sequence of eating is disrupted. Remember that many violations in the health of the baby are associated with errors in his diet.
By the age of 1 year 3 months, the baby can already eat solid food with a spoon, and at 1 year 6 months he can eat any food – thick and liquid. Try to develop these independent skills and abilities that are very important for later life in your son or daughter. How joyful it is to look at a baby who skillfully takes food from a plate with a spoon, without mistake brings it to his mouth and actively removes it with his lips. Something, of course, still pours from the spoon past and remains on the lips or chin of the child, but these errors in eating will soon pass, and the baby will learn to carefully eat the entire portion. Remember that a large amount of food contributes to a decrease in appetite, and an insufficient one does not cause a feeling of satiety.
A child of this age should be able to chew food. Make sure that he does not keep the pieces in his mouth for a long time, but swallows them in time.
A child of the 2nd year of life is fed 4 times a day with an interval of 3.5-4.5 hours. However, in the first half of the year, the baby can receive another fifth feeding – kefir or milk at 23-24 hours if he wakes up at night or at 6 o’clock in the morning.
Establishing rational nutrition is painstaking and very responsible work, but if you do it systematically, without giving “indulgence” to yourself and your child, then your reward will be good health and good physical development of the baby.
When compiling the menu, it is necessary to correctly distribute how much and what kind of food the child will receive during the day. Feed your baby 4-5 times a day. In the morning it is better to cook dairy dishes, lunch should always consist of soup, meat in the form of mashed potatoes or meatballs with a vegetable side dish, compote or jelly, fruits, kefir are given in the afternoon, a vegetable dish is prepared for dinner.
The one-time amount of food consumed in children of the 2nd year of life is different – up to 1.5 years, somewhat less than in the second half of the year.
Under no circumstances should children of this age be given food from the common table. This is very harmful. Malnutrition of a child older than a year will undoubtedly affect his health in the future. Injury by coarse food to the still unprotected mucous membrane of the child’s stomach, the stressed state of the organs of the gastrointestinal tract lead to the formation of early gastritis, enteritis, cholecystitis and other diseases.
The menu can be diversified by replacing meat with cottage cheese, fish, eggs, introducing a variety of vegetable or cereal dishes, changing the culinary processing of food (mashed potatoes, cutlets, jelly, compote, etc.), improving its taste, adding greens (dill, parsley, celery, etc.).
If a dairy dish is served for breakfast, then in the afternoon you should feed the baby with vegetables and vice versa; if vegetable soup is prepared for lunch, then the second dish should be cereal, etc. To maintain appetite, make sure that meals are not repeated during the day.
This set of products does not have to be used every day, and it is practically difficult, for example, to measure 3 g of cheese for a child. It is important that during the week the proposed list of products be used in baby food. Therefore, cheese can be used once a week and immediately in the amount of 20 g (3 x 7, say, give the baby vermicelli with grated cheese for breakfast.
A few words about food products intended for baby food, or rather, their brief description.
Milk and dairy products. Natural milk can be given to a child only after boiling. One-day kefir and cottage cheese are very useful. Milk should be boiled in a heavy-bottomed saucepan with the lid closed. When preparing dishes from milk (porridge, mashed potatoes), raw milk is added and allowed to boil once with ready-made cereals or vegetables. Milk must not be boiled twice. It should be remembered that excessive milk reduces the child’s appetite, so milk should not be given to quench thirst instead of water.
Oils. In the nutrition of children of the 2nd year of life, both butter and vegetable oil can be used, and the amount of vegetable oil should not exceed 10-15% of the total amount of oil consumed per day (i. e., not more than 2 g per day) . Vegetable oil should be stored in a sealed container, protected from light and air. It cannot be boiled, so it is better to lay it in the finished dish. In the diet of children, it is not recommended to use refractory fats – beef, pork, cooking oil, and margarine.
Meat and meat products. Lean beef, rabbit meat, chickens are useful for children You can use offal – liver, tongue, heart, brains, chicken giblets. Meat should not be soaked in water, as this transfers some of the nutrients into the water. The liver should be fried under the lid and given to the child in a puréed semi-liquid form. For children under 1.5 years old, meat, like other food, should be cooked pureed. This is due to the absence of chewing teeth in a child at this age, the underdevelopment of chewing muscles and the insufficient activity of digestive juices.
Fish and fish products. Children can only be given low-fat varieties of fish – hake, cod, sea bass, pike perch. Fish is equivalent to meat in its nutritional properties, but, in addition, it contains trace elements important for the growth and development of the child (iodine, phosphorus, copper, etc.). Keto or sturgeon caviar should be treated with caution, as it can cause unwanted allergic reactions in children.
Eggs. It is recommended to give children only chicken eggs and be sure to boil them. Raw eggs should not be served, as they can be contaminated with pathogens due to the porosity of the shell, and raw protein is poorly digested in the stomach, and raw yolk can cause allergies. Duck, goose, and eggs of other birds are prohibited from being included in the children’s menu.
Bread and bakery products. It is useful for children to give both rye and wheat bread. You can give bagels, bagels, crackers, by the way, children love them very much.
Cereals and pasta. The most valuable in terms of mineral composition are bean, buckwheat, oat and millet groats. But you can use their other types – semolina, peas, as well as pasta. The groats are boiled in water (oatmeal and buckwheat – for l ‘/g h, millet – 1 hour, semolina – 20 minutes), then unboiled milk is added, and after removing the porridge from the heat – butter and sugar to taste.
Sugar and confectionery . In children’s food – in tea, milk, cereals, compotes, kissels – you can add sugar, but in moderation. Remember that excess sugar is harmful to a child, as it can contribute to obesity or diabetes. Other sweets are recommended marmalade, jams, marshmallows, marshmallows, cookies, especially oatmeal, waffles. Do not give children cakes with rich creams, chocolates and chocolates, as well as lozenges, especially rounded ones.
Vegetables, fruits, berries, herbs. All these products are very useful for young children, because, in addition to vitamins, they contain fiber, organic acids, pectin, tannins and volatile substances, as well as minerals and trace elements. Raw vegetables can also be used in children’s nutrition. At the same time, they must be thoroughly washed, poured over with boiling water, and then grated on a fine grater. Fruits and berries are best given fresh to a child, and raw juice should be added to a boiled fruit and berry dish. In the nutrition of children, you can use canned vegetables and fruits specially prepared for baby food, as well as compotes, juices, freshly frozen and dried vegetables and fruits. Boil vegetables and fruits in a saucepan with a lid to preserve as many vitamins as possible.
From 1 year to 1 year 3 months
You can be told about the methods of preparing various children’s meals by a district nurse or a nurse in a healthy child’s office in a children’s polyclinic.
The menu for a baby at this age can be compiled as follows:
Breakfast
Porridge (vegetable puree) -150.0
Tea with milk (milk) -100.0
Bread with butter
Lunch
Soup (vegetable, meat) -100. 0
Puree meat (cutlet) – 40.0
Garnish (vegetable puree, vermichel) – 50.0
compote (fruit juice) —100.0
Power Power
cottage cheese – 30.0
kefir (milk) with a bun of –150.0
Fruits – 50.0
Dinner
Puree vegetable (porridge) –150.0
tea with milk -150.0
9000 Second dinner
Kefir (milk) -150.0
Recall that the second dinner is provided for those children who wake up at 23-24 hours.
From 1 year 3 months to 1 year 6 months vegetable oil. This is a very healthy dish, because, in addition to the vitamins it contains, it makes the baby chew food thoroughly, which means it stimulates the development of the child’s chewing apparatus.
The following foods can be included in a sample menu:
Do children count as taste? Children very early begin to distinguish tasty food from tasteless, they have favorite and unloved dishes. Try not to include foods that are vital for the development of the child’s body.
Children’s food in this age period in this age period in this age period it can be liquid, semi-liquid, steamed, and also in the form of pieces (for the development of the child’s chewing apparatus). The kid should equally willingly eat any food, no matter in which of the listed types it is served. We recommend the following menu:
Breakfast
Milk porridge (noodles, vermichel)
coffee with milk (tea)
BULK with butter (jam, cheese)
9000
salad of vegetables (fresh, quarled)
Sud
cutlets (meat, fish)
Garnish
compote
Snack
Kefir with fruits
Dinner
Vegetable dish Kisel
In the intervals between feedings, the child can be given a drink (no more than 100 g) of water.
We remind you that in order to prevent allergies, it is better to exclude chocolate from the child’s diet, limit the consumption of foods that are rich in carbohydrates, such as condensed milk, honey, sweets, and confectionery.
The child’s food should be varied, full of vitamins. In addition to well-known sources of vitamins, you can also use such as mountain ash, wild rose, various vegetable mixtures (turnip, rutabaga, lettuce) and greens (dill, parsley, celery), which not only enrich the nutritious diet, but also decorate dishes, which attracts children and stimulates their good appetite.
It is desirable that parents feed the child at the same time and try to form the right attitude to food in the baby from an early age and teach the culture of behavior at the table.
OBESITY NUTRITION
Obesity is a chronic disease, which is based on a metabolic disorder, accompanied by the deposition of fat in the body, provided that the energy intake from food exceeds energy expenditure. Thus, overeating, combined with a sedentary lifestyle, is one of the main causes of the disease.
Obesity reduces working capacity, leads to early disability, shortens life expectancy. Very often it is complicated by diseases of the cardiovascular system (atherosclerosis, hypertension, angina pectoris, myocardial infarction), liver and gallbladder (cholecystitis, cholelithiasis), pancreas (diabetes mellitus, pancreatitis), joints (arthritis).
RECOMMENDED
Bread and bakery products – black, bran, whole grain bread – 100 g. The amount of bread must be reduced if the weight does not decrease.
Soups – predominantly vegetarian, 1-2 times a week in a weak (second) fish or meat broth with vegetables, no more than ½ plate – 250 ml.
Meat and poultry dishes – from lean beef, rabbit, once a week from lean lamb, lean pork, lean poultry (turkey, skinless chicken) mainly in boiled, jellied form up to 100 g per day.
Fish dishes – from low-fat varieties (perch, cod, pike, navaga, carp, etc.), mainly in boiled, aspic form, 100 g per day. Fish can be replaced with seafood (squid, shrimp, mussels, sea kale, etc.) in its natural form or in canned food in its own juice
Dishes and side dishes from vegetables and leafy greens – from white cabbage, cauliflower, etc., radish, lettuce, cucumbers, zucchini, carrots, tomatoes, raw or boiled. Dishes from potatoes, beets, swedes – no more than 150 g (for 1 side dish) per day.
Dishes from buckwheat, barley, millet, oatmeal and spelt – consume no more than 1 portion daily.
Legumes – 2-3 servings per week
Pasta – use occasionally, by reducing the amount of bread.
Egg dishes – 1 egg per day.
Sweet dishes, confectionery products – honey, jam, fructose up to 30 g per day, confectionery products (marmalade, chocolate, sweets, kissels, mousses, compotes) prepared on sorbitol, xylitol or with the addition of sweeteners (aspartame), not more than 15 g per day.
Fruits – sour and sour-sweet varieties of fruits and berries (apples, lemons, oranges, red currants, gooseberries, cranberries, etc.) up to 200 g per day in raw form, in the form of compotes without sugar.
Milk and dishes from it – milk, curdled milk, kefir – 2 cups a day, sour cream – 1-2 tablespoons per dish, cottage cheese not more than 5% fat content 100 g per day in its natural form or in the form of cottage cheese, cheesecakes, puddings , non-sharp and low-fat varieties of cheese, not more than 30% fat.
Sauces and spices – non-spicy sauces on vegetable, sometimes mushroom broth, meat and fish broths with a small amount of vinegar, tomato puree, sauces with roots.
Snacks – raw vegetable and herb salads, lean fish in aspic.
Beverages – tea, incl. with milk, weak coffee, tomato juice, fruit and berry juices from acidic varieties of berries and fruits, alkaline mineral water. The total amount of liquid, including first courses, up to 5-6 glasses per day.
Fats – unrefined vegetable oil up to 20 g per day for cooking. Natural butter not more than 5 g per day.
Common Salt – All meals are prepared without salt, use no more than 1 teaspoon (5 g) per day for adding salt.
PROHIBITED
Sweets, chocolate, confectionery, muffins, ice cream and other sweets, spicy, spicy, smoked, salty snacks and dishes, fast food, semi-finished products of industrial production, sausages, delicacies, pepper, mustard, horseradish, alcohol.
For the whole day Rye bread, bran, whole grain – 100 g, mainly in the first half of the day.
LOADING DAYS
It is necessary to periodically (about 1 time per week) arrange fasting days.
With little physical work: Meat or fish – 400 g boiled, lean meat or lean fish without salt, 3 cups liquid, 450 g vegetables. Cottage cheese – 400-500 g low-fat cottage cheese with 2-3 cups of kefir or coffee with milk without sugar.
Days off from work: Dairy or kefir – 1.5 liters of kefir or 5-6 glasses of warm milk. Sour cream – 300 – 400 g sour cream, 3 cups liquid.
On a fasting day, food is distributed evenly throughout the day for 4-5 meals.
90,000 doctors told what kind of food flaws lead to children’s obesity – Parents.ru
About Nutrition
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Pediatrician
DITITIC
9000 BURRISMENT FASITION OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE OF THE EXPRESS It forms a supply of fluid and fat-soluble vitamins (for example, A and D). The fat that comes with food is consumed as an energy material, and it is he, and not carbohydrates, that helps to maintain the body in working condition for a long time. The weight of the child mainly depends on the amount of adipose tissue. In children, it is assessed not by body mass index (BMI), as in adults, but by centile tables. In them, the number of kilograms allowed for a baby is determined through indicators of his height, gender and constitution. It is difficult to use such materials, so it is better for parents to follow more understandable guidelines for assessing the weight of a child. For example, at the age of 4.5−6 months. there is a doubling of body weight compared to that which was at birth, by 1 year the weight is normally tripled, in the future the child adds 2 kg per year. If the baby fits into the given framework, then the amount of fat in his body is kept at the required level.
If the weight of the child exceeds the given standards by 1-1.5 kg, doctors say that the accumulation of excess body weight is acceptable. Such changes, as a rule, are not too noticeable outwardly, are not accompanied by any disturbances in the functioning of the body, but are considered a factor that increases the child’s chances of developing obesity. When the readings on the scales significantly exceed the allowable age standards, the diagnosis of obesity is made. At the first stage of the disease, there is an excess of body weight by 29-30%, at the second stage – from 30 to 40% and at the third – from 50 to 100%.
Long work
Don’t expect an obese diet to instantly work wonders and quickly reduce all those extra pounds. Normally, under its action, the weight of the child should stabilize for the next six months. Further, extra pounds will decrease as the child grows. It may take several years to completely get rid of them. Only the right eating habits will remain, which will serve as the best insurance against the recurrence of the disease.
There are two main forms of obesity – primary and secondary.
Primary obesity is exogenous-constitutional, that is, inherited, and alimentary, arising from malnutrition.
Exogenous-constitutional obesity occurs in those children whose parents also suffered from this disease. An excess of fat cells in the heir is laid down at the stage of intrauterine development, and in the future this determines the constitution. According to statistics, if one of the parents suffers from obesity, then the risk of developing this disease in a child increases by 2-3 times, if both parents, then by 5 times.
Alimentary obesity. The accumulation of excess weight can begin as early as the first year of life. The cause of the problem is overfeeding, with which the child receives too much protein. At an early age, it is this substance that is responsible for the increase in kilograms and can increase body weight by 10% or more. Normally, fat continues to accumulate intensively during the first 9 months of life, therefore, until this age, doctors monitor the condition of the baby and make a preliminary diagnosis of paratrophy, which means that the child is at risk for developing obesity. From the age of 1, an excessive amount of carbohydrates and fats of animal origin in the diet is responsible for excess body weight.
Secondary obesity occurs against the background of any endocrine or hereditary disease, for example, thyroid pathology. The balance in the work of metabolic processes in the body is disturbed, so extra pounds begin to accumulate. However, such failures are not so common – according to statistics, only 5% of the total number of obese patients experience them.
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The meal is served!
Indications for weight loss can be both aesthetic and medical. Excess adipose tissue does not have the best effect on the state of the body, causing considerable discomfort. Due to an unnatural increase in body weight, organs and tissues experience an increased load, the vessels penetrating them are compressed, so the delivery of nutrients is difficult, which means that failures in the functioning of organs are inevitable. The risk of developing diabetes mellitus, diseases of the cardiovascular system increases, the risk of formation of stones in the gallbladder and kidneys increases. To prevent the development of such complications, it is necessary to treat obesity as early as possible.
The best remedy for the primary type of disease is a balanced diet and exercise. With a secondary type of obesity, a child is observed by an endocrinologist or other specialized specialist who treats the underlying disease that caused the extra pounds.
Up to 1 year. The weight of the baby depends mainly on the amount of protein in the diet, so it is important that its level in the daily menu is balanced. An excess of this substance can be obtained by a child when using unadapted mixtures or a large amount of protein-rich complementary foods (cottage cheese, kefir, meat, fish). Adapted mixtures are distinguished by the fact that their composition is close to mother’s milk in terms of carbohydrates, fats and proteins, which means that they do not harm the health of the baby. So, for example, products for children 0−6 months. contain 1.2-1.7 g of protein per 100 ml of a ready-to-use mixture. If the package is labeled 6-12 months, then the protein level can be from 1.7 g to 2.2 g. This amount is enough for the child to receive all the necessary nutrients and keep the weight normal. Dairy products should be given in certain quantities. The norm of cottage cheese per day at 6-7 months. – 30 g, after 7 months. – 40-50 g. Kefir can be given after 8 months. in a volume of not more than 200 ml per day.
C 1 to 3 years. This period is the most important in the development of the first taste preferences and habits. If a baby loves healthy food from an early age, the problem of obesity will not be terrible for him even at a more mature age.
From 3 to 5 years. Previous bans on certain products remain in place. From this age, you can use a special low-calorie diet (only a doctor should prescribe it). The essence of the method is that food is facilitated by reducing carbohydrates and animal fats in the diet; the protein level is left at the recommended norm for age. Serving sizes for overweight children who are not on a low-calorie diet should be the same as for other healthy babies their age.
Our body is designed in such a way that the feeling of satiety depends on the level of glucose in the blood. The required amount can be maintained only with regular meals. If the nutrition schedule is clear, it is possible to avoid disruptions to junk food and unscheduled snacks.
A child needs to organize several fixed meals per day:
It is recommended to deviate from the accepted plan for no more than 15-20 minutes, otherwise the right habits will not be established.
A healthy diet includes a competent distribution of products throughout the day. High-calorie meals rich in animal fats and proteins (meat, fish, eggs) should be included in the diet in the morning; for dinner, easily digestible foods are recommended – dairy and vegetable.
A growing body must receive a variety of food to the full extent, this is the key to normal development. The fat content of sour cream should be 10%, cottage cheese – 9%, cheese – no more than 40%. Nuts, seeds, dried fruits (especially dates, figs, raisins), persimmons, bananas, melons, watermelons, sweet juices, sweet carbonated water, sausages, curd mass, processed cheese, glazed curds, chocolate, sweets, rich bakery products are excluded from the diet. and confectionery (including fructose), chips, fast food. Limit and include in the menu only once a week you need semolina, pasta and potatoes. Products can be boiled, baked and stewed; fried foods are taboo.
Kindergarten
Kindergarten menus may include foods that overweight children should avoid. Breakfast for kids on a special diet is preferable at home. There may not be a second breakfast here at all, so it is better to bring it with you. Vegetable packaged juice is perfect – it does not contain sugar. It is better to replace the afternoon snack completely, it often consists of some sweets. Instead, you can give your baby an apple and unsweetened yogurt with you. If it is impossible to transfer the baby to a special diet, it is better to choose a short-stay group or abandon the kindergarten altogether.
Photo
Getty Images/Flickr RF
Help for Mom
Record in your food diary what meals you ate per day and how much. Also, thanks to the diary, arguments will appear that will dispel the ideas of caring grandmothers that the baby is malnourished.
Teaching children how to eat healthy is best done by example. Parents need to first review their own grocery basket. If there are no chips or sweets in the access area, the baby will not ask for them.
Do not feed your baby in cafes, restaurants and fast food establishments: there it is impossible to control the composition of dishes, the cooking process and the amount of portions.
If the child is given sweets, you can let him eat one candy and offer to share the remaining sweets with friends.
In helping your child build a healthy relationship with food, it’s important not to use it as a reward for achievement.
Sample menu for a baby aged 1.5-3 / 3-5 years
Breakfast
2nd breakfast
Lunch
Salad with fresh or boiled vegetables 20-30 g / 40-50 g 9000
Vegetarian soup 150 g / 200 g
Meat or fish dish 70–80 g / 80–100 g
Garnish 85–150 g / 150-200 g
Third dish ( sugar-free apple compote, rosehip decoction) 150–200 ml / 150–200 ml
SUPPORTION
KEFIR, Milk, Yogurt 200 ml / 200 ml
Bread 20 g / 20 g
Ugular fruits, berries (frozen) 150 g / 200 g 9000 g 9000 g.
Dinner
at night
Separate products included in the daily diet
wheat bread 50–60 g / 60–70 g
rye bread 15–20 g / 20-30 g
Butter 10–15 g / 15–20 g
Vegetable oil 5–7 g / 10 g
cheese, only 5–10 g / 10–15 g
Cottage cheese 50 g / 70 g
more useful materials about the right nutrition for children – in our channel on Yandex. Zen.
Kristina Drozhzha
Child nutrition
No matter how trite it may sound, any parent wishes well for their child, and from the very birth tries to do everything possible so that he grows up strong, healthy and smart. And proper nutrition occupies one of the leading roles here. Naturally, initially – when the baby was just born, there is a stage of breastfeeding, but then questions begin: when can you start introducing complementary foods, what can you eat for a child at six months, what kind of food can you feed him a year, etc. The presented application is designed to provide answers to these and many other questions.
Next, we will consider the following topics:
Baby nutrition at 1 month
Feeding a child at 2 months
Feeding a baby at 3 months
Feeding a 4-month-old baby
Feeding a 5 month old baby
Baby food at 6 months
Baby food at 7 months
Feeding a baby at 8 months
Baby food at 9 months
Feeding a 10 month old baby
Feeding a child at 11 months
Feeding a 1 year old baby
Baby nutrition after 1 year
Child nutrition after 2 years
Child nutrition after 3 years
Nutrition for children and adolescents
In each section, we will point out the main rules that you need to pay attention to and give a number of practical recommendations. There is a lot of information on this topic, so the material will be presented in the form of brief abstracts.
So, how should you feed your beloved child in the first year of his life?
First, get acquainted with the complementary foods table. With it, it will be much easier for you to understand the system by which complementary foods are introduced into the child’s diet, and to draw up your own scheme based on it. The table is calculated for the first 12 months of a baby’s life.
But let’s talk about each month in more detail.
Feeding a baby at 1 month
At the 1st month of life, only breastfeeding is allowed. Mother’s milk should generally form the basis of a child’s diet in the period up to a year. Water, baby teas and any other supplements, as well as pacifiers and nipples, are prohibited. Moreover, in the first few days after childbirth, the mother does not have much colostrum – it is enough only to normalize the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract and protect the baby from infections (colostrum contains antitoxins and immunoglobulins). And milk will appear only on the 3rd-5th day after childbirth.
Focus on proper nutrition and feed only when the child asks. Please note: the more mother feeds the baby, the more milk she will have. But the child should be applied at least 10 times a day. A prerequisite is night feeding (by the way, in the period from 2 to 5 in the morning, milk is produced the most).
Mother’s diet is also very important, because affects the quality of milk. There should be enough food, but overeating is excluded. It is forbidden to use products that can provoke stomach problems or allergic reactions. The diet should be healthy and varied. If the child’s nutrition is built correctly, in the 1st month of life, he should gain about 800 g and grow by about 3 cm.
In order for the baby to eat enough, it is also necessary to properly attach it to the breast: if the baby completely grasps the nipple and part of the areola, then everything is correct, and you will hear how the baby swallows milk. It is recommended to feed so that the bodies of the mother and child are in contact. In case of any problems with lactation, if the baby does not have enough milk, if it is too low-fat or, conversely, fatty, it is imperative to contact a breastfeeding specialist
women. But all this should be agreed with the pediatrician.
Baby’s nutrition at 2 months
At the 2nd month, the baby’s nutrition also includes only breast milk. Innovations are not allowed. You should continue to adhere to feeding on demand (that is, when the child asks), but the number of attachments to the breast should be at least 6 times a day. To determine the daily dose of milk, you just need to multiply the baby’s weight by 1/5. In the same way, you can calculate the volume of the milk mixture, but it is better to follow the instructions that come with the mixture. It is possible to supplement the baby with teas or water only with the permission of the pediatrician (sometimes this is necessary for the purpose of treatment or prevention).
Feeding the baby should take place in a place where nothing will distract him from the process. Mom should speak quietly with the child, stroke him, sing lullabies. It is also better not to experiment with the nutrition of a nursing mother, plus it is very important to adhere to the rules of a healthy diet. By the end of the 2nd month, the baby should have gained approximately 800 g and grown by 2.5 cm.
To make sure that the baby is getting enough nutrition, you can do a wet diaper test, which determines the number of times the baby urinates during the day. To do this, during the period, for example, from 8 am to 8 am, discard diapers and fix every time the baby pees. After a day, you need to count the diapers. The norm is 11-12 times of urination. If you count 8-10 times, then you should pay attention to the regularity of feeding and other features. If you count only 6 diapers, then immediately consult a doctor, because. This is a clear indicator of underfeeding.
Baby’s nutrition at 3 months
At the 3rd month, the baby’s nutrition should again not change much, and only milk should remain food. An important point is that in the 3rd month of feeding, the mother may experience a lactation crisis. Transferring a baby to mixed or artificial nutrition is strictly prohibited. You need to put the baby to the breast more often.
You can start to switch to hourly feeding, but the feeding regimen must be introduced gradually, synchronizing it with the daily regimen. For example, at 2 pm you played a little with the child and fed him, at 5 pm you came from a short walk and fed him again, then at 8 pm you bathed your child and fed him again before going to bed.
In addition, such a schedule will help the child develop the habit of going to bed after the evening feed, which will undoubtedly come in handy in the future. If such a habit is not formed, it will be very difficult to rebuild the baby on a new schedule later.
At the 3rd month of feeding, many nursing mothers begin to feel that there is less milk or a lactation crisis. In fact, the amount of milk has not changed – just the baby has grown. Also, mothers note a reduction in the intervals between feedings, dissatisfaction with the child and frequent attachment to the breast. This is considered normal, lasting no more than 3-4 days.
A calm environment, a favorable emotional background, the use of liquid food and tea will help to cope with a lactation crisis. All this will help to normalize lactation. The child cannot be supplemented and fed, because. it will not increase either the number of attachments or the amount of milk. As a rule, by the end of the 3rd month of life, the baby gains weight by another 750 g and grows by 2.5 cm. on mixed or artificial feeding. Such can serve, for example, a few drops of fruit or berry juice, including freshly squeezed. When introducing complementary foods, it is important to monitor the well-being of the baby, pay attention to his skin (if there are any manifestations of allergies), the frequency and nature of the stool.
If there are no changes, you can continue to give complementary foods, increasing its portion by a few drops daily. This should be done for several months, bringing the amount of complementary foods to 30 ml (6 teaspoons) per day. It is impossible to give the child a daily allowance of complementary foods at one time. It is also not recommended to mix juices, but you can change them. Juices should be without pulp.
Juices can be prepared by yourself, and even without a juicer. Take, for example, an apple, grate it on a fine grater, wrap the apple mass in gauze or a sterile bandage and squeeze it into a teaspoon – that’s the juice for you. Do not bottle feed with nipples – feed with a spoon, such as a drinking spoon.
If the child is not feeling well, if he is due to be vaccinated (or has been vaccinated), or if he has some kind of allergic reaction, complementary foods should be introduced early. Breastfed babies should not be introduced to complementary foods. You need to feed on demand, but at least 6 times a day. The lactation crisis should have passed by now, and the amount of milk should be normal. If it is not enough and it is difficult to express on your own, you can use a breast pump (they are manual, mechanical, electric), but before that you need to find out the reviews of other mothers.
Feeding a child at 5 months
At the 5th month of life, the main thing, as before, is breast milk. If your baby is bottle-fed and has already begun to eat solid foods, you can slowly begin to give fruit purees and juices with pulp. With the introduction of new complementary foods, monitor the behavior of the baby’s body. For any negative reaction, return to the previous diet.
You can start giving complementary foods to breastfed babies. It all starts the same way – with juice, and with a gradual transition to juices with pulp, fruit purees. Together with milk and complementary foods, the baby’s body will receive all the vitamins and microelements necessary for normal healthy development. The amount of juice drunk by a child should not exceed 50 ml.
You can start a more “coarse” complementary food with an apple scraped off with a teaspoon. When the child recognizes the taste of an apple, you can let him try an apricot, pear or banana. If no negative reaction follows, the fruit can be mixed. As for mashed potatoes, there are good options in stores for winter and spring, but in summer and autumn, when fruits are in abundance, it is better to cook homemade mashed potatoes.
Puree should not be more than half a teaspoon per day at first; then it is gradually increased to 3-4 tablespoons. By the way, at the first acquaintance with mashed potatoes, the baby may spit – there is no need to be scared, because. This is a normal reaction that will soon pass. Complementary foods should be given at the end of a feeding session.
Do not give young children grape juice, citrus fruits, raspberries, strawberries and other allergenic foods. Any of them can provoke an allergic reaction of an unprepared child’s body. The intervals between feedings can be slightly increased. By the end of the 5th month of life, the child doubles in weight relative to birth weight and grows by about 13 cm. The amount of food eaten by the baby rarely exceeds 900 g per day, including formula and milk.
Nutrition of a child at 6 months
If up to 6 months the child ate only breast milk, then, starting from this age, it is necessary to introduce complementary foods (after making sure in advance of medical contraindications, of course). Children’s digestive system can already absorb thicker and more solid foods. But the main nutrient is still breast milk. Products are introduced gradually: each next – 10 days after the previous one.
In the same period, the first milk teeth break through in babies, and it’s time to learn to chew food. Juices with pulp and puree are the best option. First, tiny portions of juice (half a teaspoon or a few drops) are given and reactions are monitored. It is recommended to introduce complementary foods at lunchtime. Over time, it will be possible to completely eliminate milk formulas or breastfeeding from it. The maximum portion of puree is up to 150 g.
The first vegetable purees in the children’s menu should also be one-component. To begin with, boiled potatoes ground in a blender are suitable, then canned potato, carrot, pumpkin and squash purees (if desired, you can add a small pinch of cooked rice, buckwheat or semolina to them).
Egg yolk should also be part of the diet of a 6-month-old baby, because it has great nutritional value and contains vitamins, minerals, fats and proteins. If the child does not have allergies, you can give hard-boiled egg yolk. You need to start with small portions diluted with breast milk or vegetable broth.
Gradually, the yolk is mixed with vegetable puree, and the dishes themselves are alternated: one day – vegetable puree with yolk, two days – without yolk, then again with yolk, etc. A little later, a drop (5 g per 150 g serving) of olive, corn or sunflower oil can be added to the puree. By the end of the 6th month of life, the baby gains another 600 g and grows by 2 cm. beef, veal or rabbit meat, cottage cheese and kefir. Initially, dishes should be one-component. It is too early to refuse breastfeeding, and it should be present in at least two feeding sessions. You can start giving your child a spoon so that he gradually tries to eat on his own and gets used to it.
Cheeses, fish and meat puree, croutons, bread and cookies are gradually added to the diet. And again: do not forget about the diagnosis of allergic reactions, pay attention to whether there are regurgitation and bloating. Check the temperature each time you cook and stir frequently to ensure they cool evenly. If suddenly the child refuses to eat, breastfeed him (provided that he wants to eat at all).
Porridge should not be very thick. The first cereals are buckwheat, which contains many vitamins and iron, and rice, rich in starch. After them, it is allowed to give semolina and oatmeal. In case of an allergic reaction of the child’s body to goat or cow’s milk, cereals should be boiled in water, and after readiness, breast milk or milk mixture should be added to them.
In the 7th month of life, the baby’s diet will consist of breast milk, fruit juices, fruit and vegetable purees, milk and dairy-free cereals, egg yolk, meat, butter and vegetable oil. The baby should gain about 550 g of weight and grow by 2 cm. Nursing mothers often experience a new lactation crisis during this period. To overcome it, use the recommendations that we talked about above.
Baby’s nutrition at 8 months
At the 8th month of life, the baby’s nutrition becomes more varied. It is impossible to completely abandon breastfeeding, but most of the feedings can be replaced with complementary foods. However, be sure to either supplement breastfeeding or breastfeed in the morning and evening.
The diet may include mixed cereals, for example, assorted, or with the addition of fruits. You can cook porridge in ordinary milk or water, to which the milk mixture is added. It is allowed to add a little sugar or fruit puree to the porridge.
The menu is also complemented by meat broth or puree soup cooked in meat broth. It is allowed to increase the amount of chopped boiled meat as an additive to cereals (but only to cereals on the water) or mashed vegetables. The meat should be lean (chicken, beef, veal, turkey). You need to remain attentive to the reactions of the child’s body to new ingredients.
Continue to feed the child with cottage cheese and kefir (it is better that they are home-made or from a dairy kitchen), baby cereals poured with boiling water, canned puree (fruit, vegetable, meat). Considering that almost all children begin to actively erupt their teeth and itch their gums, you can give pieces of dryers and bagels and crackers. Firstly, it is an excellent rodent, and secondly, the child gets used to bread.
Differences in the nutrition of formula-fed and breast-fed babies are approaching a minimum. By the end of the 8th month of life, the child usually gains another 500 g in weight and grows 1.5 cm.
Baby’s nutrition at 9 months
At the 9th month of a baby’s life, breast milk no longer dominates the diet, although it is still present. New products continue to be added to the menu. So, fish are introduced little by little. To begin with, it is better to boil and grind low-fat ocean fish such as hake, pollock and cod, or river fish, for example, carp or pike perch. Naturally, you need to cook at home, be sure to check that there are no bones and peel left in the pulp (the peel and head can become the basis of fish broth).
If you are unable or unwilling to cook yourself, you can buy fish fillets and canned fish for children. Canned food is purely fish and with the addition of vegetable oil, cereals and vegetables. And fish fillets can be combined with semolina, rice and buckwheat, tomatoes, carrots and potatoes (it’s better to start with a clean fillet).
It is not allowed to feed the child with ordinary canned food, because they contain fish with bones, and the product itself contains preservatives, seasonings and additives that can cause indigestion in a child. Fish is introduced into the diet in small, gradually increasing portions.
If there are no allergic reactions and malfunctions in the child’s body, you can introduce the child to a children’s mug (at the first stage, you should use non-spill mugs equipped with special lids). But there should be little liquid in the mug, plus you can not leave the baby with the mug unattended.
Breastfeeding can be left in the morning and evening (if necessary, add one at night), but it is worth looking at the situation. By the end of the 9th month of life, babies gain 450 g of weight and add about 1.5 cm in height.
Nutrition of a 10-month-old baby
At 10 months of age, mother’s milk remains in the diet, but nutrition becomes more complete, because the baby gets used to the previously introduced products. There are fewer new foods, but more cooking options. The pulp of plums, pears and watermelons stand out from the new products. But they must be fresh, not overripe, not unripe, not contain stones and peel. If the baby has constipation, the pear should be discarded, but plums and plum puree are recommended.
The focus of a child’s diet is not on new foods, but on variations on old ones. For example, meat puree is replaced by meatballs (at first, simple, and later – with the addition of ground onions). You do not need to completely grind the finished meatballs – just cut into small pieces. The child already has several teeth and needs to learn how to chew and get used to solid foods. In addition, chewing promotes the development of chewing muscles and jaws.
Milk porridges alternate with noodles and pasta boiled in milk. Instead of cottage cheese, a cottage cheese casserole is sometimes given (initially – one-component, and a little later – with the addition of fruits, raisins, apples, pears and other fruits to which there are no allergic reactions).
In general, a child’s diet at 10 months remains almost the same as at 9 months. The only exceptions are portions – they should be slightly larger. Two breastfeeds a day is still the norm. By the end of the 10th month of life, the child should gain 400 g in weight and 1. 5 cm in height.
Feeding a baby at 11 months
At 11 months of age, it is impossible to wean a baby completely, even if it seems that it is time. It is better to breastfeed in the morning and in the evening, but it is worth starting to refuse from night feeding completely.
The baby’s diet already contains vegetables and fruits, bread, kefir, milk and cottage cheese, cereals, fish and meat, and the menu is quite diverse in its composition. Despite this, in no case should you offer a child fried foods and everyday adult food, as well as sweets, spicy foods, sausages, sausages, smoked meats, herring, canned food and citrus fruits. The children’s gastrointestinal tract is still developing, and the processing of the above food will negatively affect its functioning.
Note that by this age children have more teeth, and therefore you can safely reduce the amount of mashed potatoes and grated dishes. It is useful to supplement the diet with steamed fish and meat cutlets, dishes from fresh vegetables and fruits, and berries. Juices alternate with berry and fruit jelly with the addition of freshly squeezed juice.
Baby’s nutrition at 1 year old
At the 12th month of life, the baby’s nutrition can already be called quite complete, and many mothers decide to stop breastfeeding. In addition, lactation is ending, and it is quite logical to stop breastfeeding. If there is a desire to breastfeed (and milk itself), you can continue to do this. But breastfeeding is no longer a way for a child to get food, but an opportunity to be closer to mom.
Those who want to stop breastfeeding should know that it is impossible to wean a baby from the breast if he is sick or feels unwell; it is not advisable to do this in the summer, because it is during this period that the likelihood of gastrointestinal diseases is especially high. In the case when breastfeeding is stopped, it is undesirable to start it again. In moments of anxiety, the baby needs to caress him, stroke him, sing a lullaby and calm him down, but try not to put him on the chest.
Children’s diet at this stage does not change significantly, but portions increase slightly. The baby should have breakfast with milk porridge, vegetable or fruit puree, cottage cheese or kefir with gingerbread. And lunch is important to make as nutritious and satisfying as possible.
On the first birthday of a child, you do not need to treat him with new dishes. As a festive dish, a dish of fish, meat, fruits or vegetables (you need to cook them, observing all precautions) or a cottage cheese and fruit casserole, symbolizing the first cake, is suitable. By the end of the 1st year of life, the baby should gain about 350 g in weight and grow by 1.5 cm.
When a child reaches the age of one, his diet will change very slowly and systematically, without abrupt addition of new products and dishes. Further, we will not dwell on each month and year of life, but we will point out the basic principles of nutrition for children after a year.
Nutrition of a child after a year
In the nutrition of children after a year, breakfast, afternoon tea, dinner and feeding before bedtime must be present without fail. You can make some changes to each of them, but in accordance with certain requirements:
Diet must contain proteins, fats and carbohydrates
Most food should be semi-liquid or puree
Pieces of solid food should be no larger than 2-3 cm
Meat dishes are best given in the morning
Children’s menu items may be stewed, boiled and steamed, but never fried
The volume of the average daily ration is 1200 ml, excluding liquid
Now specifically about products:
Dairy products. Must be mandatory. Every day you can give milk, yogurt and kefir, and every other day – cream, sour cream, cheese and cottage cheese. If the baby has lactose intolerance, milk is completely replaced by mixtures.
Vegetables. Also must be present in abundance. You should start with cucumbers and tomatoes. Then you can cook dishes from pumpkin, beets, sweet and yellow peppers, potatoes, cauliflower, zucchini, onions and carrots. Greens should be introduced very carefully. It is too early to give white cabbage, because. it is difficult to digest and absorb. Vegetables should be no more than 200 g per day, and specifically potatoes – no more than 150 g.
Meat. The baby should consume it every day. The diet can include beef, lean veal, turkey, chicken and rabbit. Beef liver is especially useful. The average daily norm of meat depends on the weight of the baby, and can be 50-100 g per day.
Fish. You can spoil her baby no more than 1-2 times a week, thus replacing meat dishes. The average volume of a fish dish is 30-40 g. The fish should be lean, and stewed fish fillets, steamed cutlets and meatballs will be excellent dishes.
Kashi. In the children’s diet, they are present in a variety of ways, including cereals. The average daily rate is about 200 g. Useful porridge mixed with fruits, vegetables or meat. And you can replace porridge with vermicelli, for example, with cottage cheese, milk, cheese or meat.
Liquid food. When breastfeeding, liquid food is not required. But if the mother has stopped breastfeeding, then the baby must be given soups. Vegetable broths are preferred over meat broths. You can feed soups once a day.
Berries and fruits. As an additional element of the children’s diet, they are very useful. Apples, pears, bananas, cherries, raspberries, currants and others may be present on the menu. The daily norm of fruits is 100-200 g, berries – 20 g.
Liquid. As a drink, it is recommended to use boiled or special children’s water, juices for children under 3 years old and freshly brewed compotes. Any canned drinks are prohibited. The daily norm of liquid is 800 ml in the period from 1 year to 3 years, from 1.5 to 1.7 liters – in the period from 3 to 7 years and 1.7-2 liters – after 7 years.
Salts and condiments. Should be excluded from the children’s diet for as long as possible, but if necessary, little by little dishes can be added salt. The daily amount of salt should not exceed 1 g, and seasonings should be delayed.
Sugar. Instead, it is best to use fructose, because. the body assimilates it more evenly and more slowly, but if desired, it is not forbidden to give the baby sugar. The daily norm of sugar or fructose is not more than 40 g.
Sweets. It is not recommended to pamper a child with sweets, chocolate and other sweet foods until they reach the age of 3 years. But it is quite possible to treat with cookies and homemade cakes.
Other products. To determine the allowable diet and norms of other products, it is best to use special nutrition tables. Here is one of those (there are other options on the Internet):
And a few more additional recommendations:
Vitamins. Try to make the child’s diet so that it contains all the vitamins his body needs: vitamin A (pumpkin, carrots), vitamin C (fruit juices, herbs, bell peppers) and vitamin E (vegetable oil, peas, rye).
Trace elements. The diet should also contain foods with essential trace elements: iron (beans, chicken eggs, meat, fish), calcium (dairy products, beans) and zinc (chicken egg yolk, oatmeal, meat).
After 1 year, there will be no special changes in the child’s nutrition system. However, several important features must be kept in mind.
Child nutrition after 2 years
At this age, children usually have 16 to 20 teeth on average, which means that they can already chew solid food more or less calmly. So the food can no longer be completely crushed, but on purpose leave more small but hard pieces.
There are usually no general nutritional problems. Many parents begin to give their children normal everyday foods (except for the unhealthy ones). But fatty, as before, should be excluded, as, indeed, chocolate and caramel.
The number of meals is reduced to three main meals and one snack.
Feeding a child after 3 years
At this stage, things are even easier. Most children quite calmly eat “from the common table” with their parents, because. they chew food normally, and the gastrointestinal tract is formed enough for stable work and digestion of even quite heavy food.
Despite this, one should always keep in mind that the less junk food a child gets, the healthier he will be. And as soon as the baby begins to treat his diet selectively, there is no need to limit it, because. eating habits begin to form. But vigilance should not be lost either.
Nutrition for children and adolescents
Children after 3 years of age and adolescents grow rapidly, their bodies undergo serious hormonal changes and changes in the work of the cardiovascular and nervous systems and the brain. Mental and physical stress increases, because children begin to actively interact with the outside world and people, go to kindergarten, make new friends, go to school, etc. Therefore, the children’s diet should be carefully thought out.
The menu should provide the child with energy. It is not recommended that children eat foods high in sugar and fat. It is best to instill a healthy lifestyle and diet. Irrational loads and malnutrition can cause diseases of the gastrointestinal tract and kidneys, impaired metabolism, scoliosis, myopia and other ailments. A diet that contains all the food ingredients, vitamins and microelements that improve immunity, increase the body’s resistance, and positively affect the work of the central nervous system, intelligence and performance will help to avoid all this.
Among other things, the diet of a growing child should always be regular and varied. The ideal option is to instill in him the principles of healthy eating discussed in our course. In order for your child to grow up without deviations in physical or mental development, you need to offer him a balanced diet that provides his body with plastic processes and energy costs, taking into account age.
If you are interested in learning more about the nutrition of children and adolescents, you can search the Internet for relevant information. There are many useful materials to be found. By the way, as an addition to the course you completed and this application, we strongly recommend reading the book by Pamela Druckerman “French children do not spit food”, which contains a lot of interesting and useful information about everything related to baby food.
We wish you and your children good health!
Kirill
← Nutrition for weight loss Additional materials →
Chronic colitis diet | Sanatorium Gorny
Colitis is an inflammatory disease of the colon. Treatment of colitis is always complex. A prerequisite for successful treatment is diet.
If you have chronic colitis , you should regularly carry out preventive treatment .
General rules. duration of the diet.
Nutrition for colitis should be balanced in terms of nutrients. The main task of the diet is to reduce the load on the entire digestive tract.
General rules of nutrition for intestinal colitis:
Fractional nutrition. 5-6 times a day.
Give preference to mashed and semi-liquid foods.
Food should not be hot or cold. The optimal temperature of dishes is 30-40 C
Exclusion of products containing fiber
Reduce salt intake to 8-10 grams per day
Maintain drinking regimen (at least 1.5 liters per day)
Food can be boiled or steamed.
Nutrition for colitis during an exacerbation.
During an exacerbation of colitis, diet is very important. The task of the diet is to stop inflammation in the intestines, restore proper digestion and eliminate the processes of fermentation and putrefaction.
To do this, it is recommended to completely exclude food products that cause fermentation or decay. With diarrhea, it is necessary to exclude foods rich in fiber, vegetables and bran. With constipation, on the contrary, you need to increase peristalsis and eat a lot of vegetables and cereals.
Dishes should be steamed or boiled. Food must be ground, chopped or pureed. It is better to boil porridges strongly or use special porridges for baby food.
Nutrition for chronic colitis.
Outside of exacerbation, dieting for colitis avoids exacerbation.
The diet is based on cereals boiled in water and semi-liquid food. You can add butter to the porridge. Soups are prepared on the second broth from lean meat. Vegetables can be added in a small amount in pureed form.
You can eat eggs in the form of steam omelettes, steamed fish or minced beef cutlets.
You can drink weak black and green teas, herbal tea. Coffee is not recommended, but can be replaced with chicory. The daily volume of water consumed should be about 1.5 liters.
Diet types:
With an exacerbation of chronic colitis or with an acute form of colitis with loose stools (diarrhea), diet No. 4 is recommended. With this diet, foods rich in fiber are not recommended. All dishes that cause rotting and fermentation are also excluded.
If the disease proceeds with constipation, then diet No. 3 is recommended. With this diet, foods that enhance intestinal motility, rich in fiber, are recommended.
In chronic colitis without exacerbation, you must adhere to diet number 2.
List of approved products:
PORRIDGE AND CEREALS: Buckwheat, semolina, oatmeal, rice. FRUITS: Pears, apples, quinces. BERRIES: Blueberries, black currants, dogwoods. DAIRY PRODUCTS: Acidophilus, low-fat cottage cheese, butter. MEAT: Boiled beef, veal, rabbit, chicken, turkey. BREAD: White bread rusks. VEGETABLES: Carrots, cauliflower, potatoes as an addition to soups.
How temperament influences baby sleep and what you can do about it
Every newborn baby is different, but the one thing they do have in common is that they will often wake during the night. However, even this can vary from child to child.
Some babies take to sleep routines easily, but for others, it can be more of a challenge. There are many reasons for sleep difficulties, and one of those is temperament. And while there is little you can do to change your baby’s temperament, there are ways to work with it so everyone can get a little sleep.
What is temperament?
A baby’s temperament is her disposition and how she responds to the world around her. She might be happy, quiet, easy-going or apprehensive. She might be reluctant to change, or she might be shy about meeting new people. These are all possible elements of a child’s temperament, which parents can immediately recognise even from those early newborn days.
There’s no right or wrong temperament, just differences; and by better understanding your baby’s personality, you will be able to approach bedtime in a way that will help to maximise her ability to sleep.
9 traits of temperament
Research undertaken by psychiatry professors Dr Stella Chess and Dr Alexander Thomas in a study that lasted from 1956 to 1977, identified nine temperament traits in infants.
Activity – this is the amount of physical energy a child has for daily tasks and activities
Regularity – the child’s natural biorhythms or regularity of functions such as eating or sleeping
Initial reaction – this refers to a child’s response to a new object or person
Adaptability – how a child adapts to changes in the environment or new situations
Sensitivity – a child’s sensory threshold, or how a child reacts to changes in the environment
Intensity – the intensity or amount of energy child puts into her responses
Mood – the child’s general mood whether she is happy or not so happy
Distractibility – a child’s tendency to be distracted from what she is doing
Persistence – a child’s ability to stick to a task, despite any interruptions and distractions around her
3 general temperaments
The study revealed that some of these traits clustered together to create general temperaments in newborn babies which are: ‘easy babies’, ‘difficult babies’ and those who are ‘slow to warm up’.
1. Easy babies
These babies are positive in mood, have regular bodily functions and a low or moderated intensity of reaction. They are cheerful, quick and adaptable to new people and routines. Caring for these babies pose few problems for parents, which is why they are called the ‘easy’ children.
2. Difficult babies
These babies have irregular bodily functions, are negative in mood and have intense reactions. They withdraw from new situations, are slow to adapt, less flexible with changing routines and also cry a lot. These babies are considered a little more work or high need for parents.
3. Slow to warm up
Characteristics of ‘slow to warm up babies’ are low activity and low intensity of reaction. They also tend to withdraw from new situations, are slow to adapt and can be moody.
How does temperament affect sleep?
Babies all have different temperaments, but how does this affect their sleep patterns?
According to Dr Thomas and Dr Chess, these different types of temperament in babies mean they approach sleep differently. Babies with an easy temperament rarely have any issues with sleep, and they are quick to establish regular sleeping routines; they like routines and are happy to sleep and wake around the same time each day.
Babies in the difficult category are less likely to have regular sleep patterns and find it hard to adapt to new schedules and routine; they might wake in the middle of the night and find it challenging to go back to sleep. In fact, research shows that most children with sleep problems were more likely to that fall into this category.
How sleep and temperament are connected
It’s essential to take your baby’s temperament into account when trying to navigate those early sleepless days and nights. If your baby has irregular biorhythms and does not like to eat and sleep at the same times, then a strict routine will be more challenging. Early childhood educator, Kylie Rymanowicz from Michigan University says this might mean you have to wait until your child is sleepy, rather than insisting she sleep at a particular time.
“Letting your daily schedule and expectations vary to meet your child’s adaptability can prevent conflict and stress,” she reports in a Michigan State University publication. “It will also allow your child to have their needs met in a way that plays to their strengths and builds upon their natural temperament.”
If your child is less adaptable and unable to make smooth transitions from one activity to another, it may be better to stick to a regular routine.
How can I help my baby sleep?
According to the Department of Neurology at Columbia University, sleep difficulties can occur for many reasons like separation anxiety, over-stimulation and over-tiredness. Once you have a clear understanding of your baby’s temperament, it can help when trying to tackle these issues and establish sleep routines.
The experts at the Mayo Clinic say getting your baby to sleep isn’t about your parenting skills. Instead, it’s about taking the time to understand your baby’s habits and ways of communicating so you can help her to become better at sleeping.
The Mayo Clinic also offers handy tips that may help your baby get to sleep, depending on her individual needs or temperament. For example, if your baby is more active, she might need more time to settle. If she cries a lot, she might need more reassurance. If she doesn’t like change, she might need a set routine.
At the end of the day, as you learn more about your child’s temperament, her rhythms, personalities and reactions to what is happening around her, then you can adjust your schedule and routine to accommodate these traits, working with them rather than battling against them.
Need some more baby sleep advice? Our Parent School sleep experts can help. Click to find out more or book a one-on-one session.
Posted on by Susannah Hardy
How it Affects Sleep and Everything Else
Did your baby come out of the womb ready to take on the world? Alert babies are fun, smart, and often have a hard time with sleep. Baby sleep and temperament are so connected that it often requires some different strategies to get the sleep your family needs.
Does this sound like you?
“I have to bounce her on the ball to go to sleep.”
“It’s like he has FOMO. He just doesn’t want to waste time sleeping.”
“She notices EVERYTHING. She doesn’t miss a thing.”
“The second I try to lay him down, his eyes pop open and I have to start all over again.”
“Sleep has been hard since the moment they were born. They just do not want to sleep…ever.”
From the moment my daughter was born, she was not like other babies I had seen. Instead of the usual fuzzy, unfocused newborn gaze, hers was like a laser beam — wide open, focused, intent. “Huh, that’s not normal, is it?” She did not “drift” into sleep; it was like she had an on/off switch. She was clear about what she wanted and that was almost always me. She couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stay asleep for long. I remember when she was about 10 months old, sitting up past David Letterman with a baby who was wide awake — not at all fussy. It was 1:00 am. “This isn’t normal either, right?” This was not at all like the books said it would be, but there we were.
I’ve researched and worked with hundreds of parents of children with sleep problems. I’m increasingly convinced that an alert, intense, sensitive temperament may be the dividing line between children who sleep easily — and those who really don’t.
How are Baby Sleep and Temperament Related?
Temperament is a hard-wired system for taking in, processing, and reacting to stimuli and events from both the inner and outer environment. Some children are able to react less strongly to this input and they can generally stay on a fairly even keel. For them, sleep is not a huge issue because they are able to buffer out a lot of the external input and turn toward sleep.
Other children — I call them “livewires” — have a much thinner barrier. They detect and perceive more of the incoming information, and they react more strongly to it. For these children, sleep is a challenge because they are bombarded by sensory and other information and have a lot more of it to manage. If you have tried sleep training before and it just hasn’t worked — at all — chances are, you have a livewire.
It really isn’t you! Many babies have trouble sleeping: Read: We Must Stop Blaming Parents for Baby Sleep Problems
Traits that Impact Sleep
Intensity
Everything is bigger. If they’re happy, they’re really happy. Once they get upset, they take off like a rocket. These are the babies whose parents say, “If I don’t get to her in a few seconds, all bets are off.” Intensity is the key trait that throws sleep training off track. These powerhouses don’t just “fuss for 15 minutes,” it can be an hour or more of hysterical crying, for many nights in a row, without any change. It’s no wonder that parents of livewires abandon the typical sleep training methods. A more gradual approach, like the Sleep Lady Shuffle, gives you the opportunity to keep your child within a tolerable zone of challenge.
Persistence
“Easy going” and “flexible” are not in their vocabulary. They can outlast you and do not give up easily on what they want. This is an amazing trait for an adult to have, but in children, it can wear parents out. It’s important to know that, when you try to change their familiar patterns, they are going to fight you. That’s okay. If you can stay present, supportive, and consistent, they will be able to detect the new pattern and settle in.
Perceptiveness
They notice everything — I mean, everything. In the big picture, this can be a stunning skill. These brilliant little ones will notice subtleties and connections. They will notice that something has been moved or slight changes in routines. They will also notice if you wobble in your approach to sleep. You will need to be more consistent than you have ever been when you work on sleep. For older livewires, “just for tonight” does not compute. You need to have a plan and a routine that is clear and repetitive.
Engagement/Alertness
Livewires are just “on.” It’s like their brain is working on overdrive all the time. Again, this is a tremendous talent. They are taking in more information and learning at an incredible rate. The downside is that it’s very easy for them to get overstimulated and overtired. You may have noticed that if you are late for a nap, they are into their supersonic, booster rocket, second wind, where sleep is virtually impossible to get. Knowing their awake window and watching the clock help keep you in front of their second wind.
Sensory sensitivity
Underlying nearly all of a livewire’s temperamental intensity and alertness stems from some amount of sensory processing sensitivity. Sensitivity to textures, noises, light, or sensations keep them from being able to shut down and sleep. It’s a little like The Princess and the Pea. A tiny pea beneath a stack of mattresses was supposed to test for sensitivity. This is exactly what parents find when trying to get a livewire to sleep: the tiniest discomfort or issue with their sleep environment means that sleep is not going to happen.
Sensory sensitivity is also more than just hating “scratchy sheets.” Sensory sensitivities can make some children very easily overwhelmed by small amounts of input (sensory defensive). Children who cover their ears when a siren goes by or has a meltdown at loud, crowded spaces are examples of being overwhelmed by input. Sensory seeking, on the other hand, refers to being under-responsive to input. These children may seek big, intense input like being bounced on a ball for sleep or needing to “crash” into things before they can calm down. Understanding sensory processing sensitivities can be key in helping you craft a bedtime routine that helps their livewire power down. The boo,k Understanding Your Baby’s Sensory Signals by Angie Voss, is a very helpful and easy guide to sensory behaviors.
Irregularity/Unpredictability
There’s no reliable pattern to feeding, sleep, or activity. They do things differently every day. One night, they may sleep well and parents think “Well, A, B, and C really worked!” Then, the next night, even though they took the same steps, the baby is up every 90 minutes. If this is the case with your child, it just means that you have to trust that what you are doing for sleep is working. It won’t go in a straight line, so don’t expect it to. Have a plan, stick to the plan, and your little one will eventually get on board — mostly.
A “livewire”, or baby who is very alert, will prove just how much baby sleep and temperament are related. Consistency is key.
How Temperament Affects Sleep Training
Intensity, persistence, sensory sensitivities, and the other livewire traits can make for a perfect storm that not only makes sleep harder and more scarce, but it can really throw parents for a loop. The books will say that “sleep training only takes three or four days of some mild protest” and after two hours of sweating and pleading and crying, you give up and just rock them to sleep — with some certainty that maybe you just stink at parenting. Parents, it’s not you. It’s temperament.
Believe it or not, there are some specific “hacks” that you, as a parenting of a unique little livewire, need to know about. Some of these are essential keys to unlocking sleep in your nonstop kiddo.
Want to read up on the Sleep Lady Shuffle? Read: The Sleep Lady Shuffle: How to Gently Sleep Train your Baby
Stay Ahead of the Second Wind
Look at the sample sleep schedules here and understand how much sleep your livewire needs. Alert children often seem like they don’t need as much sleep, but this is typically because they are living full-time in their second wind. Get naps and a solid, early bedtime.
Be More Consistent Than You’ve Ever Been
It’s important to pick something that you know your child can handle and that you can handle (just bedtime?) and just do exactly the same thing for at least three nights to see if a consistent approach will kick in.
Push Through the Pushback
When you change familiar patterns, these smart little cookies will let you know that they notice. They will also let you know, loud and clear, that they don’t like it. As long as you are present and supportive, it’s okay for them to hate the change. If you can acknowledge their difficulty and just keep going, they will use their powerful brain to pick up on the new pattern — and livewires love a good pattern.
The other important aspect of pushing through is that the worst thing you can do with a livewire is to work and work — and then just give up and do whatever works. When baby sleep and temperament meet, sleep has to win. If you’re inconsistent, your child will not overlook this. You cannot sneak this past them. If you try and try and then just feed them, for example, they will know that feeding is somewhere “on the table” as a possibility and they just have to find it. The next time you try to hold out, it can be ten times harder. Set your mind to whatever you are choosing to do and try not to waffle. Remember, you have to stay one step ahead of your alert, doesn’t-miss-a-thing child.
Try the Sleep Lady Shuffle for Sleep Skills
The Shuffle is gradual and allows for a lot of support and help with calming down—two things that are critical for livewires. The Shuffle allows you as a parent to methodically reduce what you are doing. It also allows you to keep your livewire from getting hysterical. We don’t want that, and it doesn’t work. The Shuffle really, really works for livewires.
The very traits that make livewires amazing, also make sleep really difficult. Knowing that temperament plays a huge part in sleep challenges accomplishes two things:
It helps take away the worry that you, as a parent, have caused the problem
Allows you to move forward on sleep training with an understanding of the parts of temperament you need to work with or work around.
Getting better sleep with livewires is possible—if you know about the ins and outs of temperament.
Do you need help? Consider a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach: Read: When to Hire a Sleep Coach — 9 Reasons it will Help
Baby Temperament Sleep Series ~ Part 1: Temperament
Home / Temperament / Baby Temperament and Sleep Series: Part 1
by Nicole Johnson, Founder and Lead Sleep Consultant in Temperament —
This is Part 1 of my Baby Temperament and Sleep Series. This series is about your baby’s temperament and how it might affect his sleep and/or how you solve sleep problems.
Across this website, I mention temperament a lot and how it DOES affect what sleep training method you might choose to help him sleep better. His temperament and personality will drive whether a no-cry method will take 1 hour or 3 months or, if you choose a cry-method, whether he will cry for 5 minutes or 2 hours if you let him. It may also affect how difficult it is to wean him from breastfeeding, wean him from the bottle to a cup, how many errands you can run on a Saturday, how many tantrums he has as a toddler, and many many other things parents face on a daily basis. Just a reminder, I am not a doctor, so this is based on my experience, as well as my reading/research about temperament and how I believe it affects your baby’s sleep and what methods may or may not work well when it comes to sleep training. Remember sleep training is NOT cry-it-out! Let’s get started!
What Is Temperament?
I get my definition of temperament from the book, Raising Your Spirited Child. The author uses the terms coined by Drs. Stella Chase and Alexander Thomas, “because of their positive, parent-friendly approach.” Even if your child is not spirited, the temperament traits will apply to all babies. At the end of this series, I will give you a quiz to find out whether your child is “spirited” or not and what his or her temperament is.
Temperament is how your child naturally reacts to situations and stimuli, her mood, her ability to calm herself and how active she is. It is said that researchers have found that temperament is biological, meaning your child comes out of the womb this way. This means that from day 1, the way a YOUR baby reacts to being wet, hungry, tired, etc. may not be like your friend’s baby. Yours might be low-key and not get very upset or your baby may scream loudly. You are not making it up that your baby might not be “laid back”. You might wonder what you did or didn’t do to cause this. I remember one parent saying her husband thought her postpartum depression after the birth of their son caused their baby to not sleep well. What a burden to bear! Let me assure you, I did not have postpartum depression, was not depressed during pregnancy, or anything close to that and my son had a lot of sleep problems! You have no control over your baby’s temperament. You can only “blame” your genetics and they are still figuring out how it is all intertwined.
One thing that is important for you to know, though, is that you can get to know your child’s temperament and be able to predict how he will react to certain things and you can set him up for success. If you know your child has trouble with transitions, for example, you will be able to help him with those (I will get more into that throughout the series). The best part of this is that you can reduce some of the stress once you KNOW your child’s temperament because you won’t constantly be trying to figure out why he is reacting a certain way. Most of all, you should know that just because he is born this way does not mean that what you do does not matter. You will be able to emphasize his strengths, help him understand his own temperament, and help him learn how to handle his own reactions as he grows up. As Raising Your Spirited Child states, “By adapting your parenting techniques to fit his temperament and his style, and teaching him the skills he needs, you help him to live cooperatively with others and to be all that he can be.” To attempt to make him ignore his temperamental traits is not only very difficult, but it also teaches him to not be himself.
In the next 10 parts of the series, I will review each of the 9 traits of temperament, Intensity, Persistence, Sensitivity, Perceptiveness, Adaptability, Regularity, Energy, First Reaction, and Mood, discussing baby sleep along the way and in the final part, take an assessment quiz to help figure out you and your baby or toddler’s temperament and see how it might be similar or different.
Get Sleep Help Customized For Your Baby’s Temperament!
Your baby’s temperament influences his or her sleep habits in a big way – and that means that the sleep coaching you do with your baby will need to be suited to your baby’s unique temperament. That can be tricky – but not to worry! Our consultants at The Baby Sleep Site® are experienced in creating Personalized Sleep Plans® that are customized to your baby or toddler’s temperament. Even better, once you have your Personalized Sleep Plan®, your consultant will walk you through each step of implementing it at home.
Browse our list of consultation package options here.
Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to login and start right away – it’s that simple!
Sleep Resources Designed To Work With Your Baby’s Temperament
For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.
If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.
Or, join our VIP Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a member, you’ll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant and much more!
The Baby Sleep Site® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other product affiliate programs. If you click on a product link and make a purchase, The Baby Sleep Site® may (but not always) receive a small commission from the company selling the product, but will not affect your purchase price. We only recommend products that we believe are quality products and are good for our readers.
Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need!
If you are tired of wading through stacks of baby sleep books that just aren’t working, if you are beyond exhausted and just can’t solve your child’s sleep problems on your own…then personalized sleep consulting is for you. We have been around since 2008 and invite you to tap into our MANY years of experience. Our team of expert consultants will create a Personalized Sleep Plan® just for your family and then support you through every step of implementing your plan. We encourage you to consider our personalized, one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultation packages if you want to see real, meaningful results now. Your consultation package also includes ample follow-up help, designed to help you troubleshoot problems and tweak your plan as needed.
Learn More About Services
For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.
Learn More About The 3-Step System
If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.
Learn More About Mastering Naps
For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.
Learn More About The 5-Step System
Join our VIP Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, and more. As a VIP member, you’ll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant.
Learn More About VIP Membership
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Baby Temperament and Sleep Training
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Baby temperament and sleep training heavily influence each other. And I can speak directly to the role a person’s genes play in their personality.
Photo Credit: Yousef Espanioly
Throughout my life, particularly after I had children, I have dealt with varying levels of anxiety. As a more newly married couple, my husband would simply tell me, “Stop worrying about things.” Of course saying this only made me worry more about worrying. A few years ago I discovered the book The Female Brain. Finally! An answer to why I always felt the way I did. It turns out the female brain is highly influenced by the ebb and flow of a woman’s monthly hormonal cycle. Not rocket science, I know. Further, our brain is wired from the womb to have higher levels of empathy. And some could argue more compassion as well than our male counterparts.
The most illuminating part of reading The Female Brain came in the author’s assertion on this… Just because we know the way we often feel is influenced by chemicals in our brains, we do not need to allow these chemicals to rule our lives. For example, I know I am more prone to react to a negative situation with anxiety as I draw nearer to my menstrual cycle. This knowledge allows me to be in more control of my reactions. I can then use other methods to quell my anxious feelings. (Like meditation, certain herbal supplements, self-hypnosis, etc.) So instead of feeling like my anxiety has to rule my life, I feel as if I can have a lot of control of my anxiety.
You’re thinking, great, how does this have anything to do with my baby and their sleep?! Stay with me here…
Baby Temperament and Sleep Training
This brings us to genetics, personalities, children, and sleep. I believe there are several pieces of a puzzle that come together to make up the sleep training process. 1) A child’s natural temperament or personality. 2) The parents’ natural temperament or personality. (And thus their ability to be consistent in implementing the sleep training plan itself.) And 3) the type of training method the parent chooses.
These three factors together total the sum of the sleep training experience. However, they do not usually make up equal parts. Let’s take, for example, a child who is extremely strong willed. Their parents’ consistency, and the type of method chosen, will often take a back seat to the child’s personality fighting the process itself. Conversely, if a child is very mellow, and the method is very lax, but the parent is strong-willed and hyper consistent in implementing the method, sleep training will be successful faster.
Ready to sleep train?
Every Child is Different
It is extremely important for parents to use the knowledge that a baby’s personality greatly impacts the sleep training process to their advantage. At the very least, a mother can know that two babies (ie. her own and her friend’s baby) undergoing the same training method, at the same age, will almost certainly not react identically. Why would they?
A child’s personality has a lot to do with how quickly, and easily the sleep training process will be. An easy going baby will take well to any type of method, and its regular or intermittent implementation. Generally speaking, the more stronger willed the child, the more that child will benefit from extreme consistency on the parent’s part in implementing the training method.
Strong Willed Children Need
Less Help
Additionally, strong willed children generally benefit from methods where the parents don’t do a lot of the “helping” in getting a child to sleep. Easygoing kids don’t mind terribly if their parents check in on them while they (the child) are trying to figure out how to fall asleep on their own. A very strong willed child is more likely to stay awake to see if their parent’s next check-in will be the time they are finally able to get what they think they need in order to fall asleep. (Ie. bottle, nursing, rocking, bouncing). One can imagine that a very strong willed child can wear down the defenses of an easy going parent.
Sleep Is Worth It
Just because our personalities are largely determined by genetics does not mean that a parent can absolve themselves of guiding and disciplining their children. It’s not true that “they’ll turn out the same way no matter what.” To the contrary! Being armed with the knowledge that a child’s temperament influences how resistant they may be to change, or to learning new things on their own, means the parent needs to make sure they increase their loving consistency to help guide their child. This will help them grow into happy and healthy adults.
This advice not only goes for sleep, but also in all other discipline areas. Awareness of a child’s personality should also guide a parent to know what battles to fight, and which to let go. In my opinion, sleep is always a beneficial battle to wage. Your child will benefit greatly from healthy sleep habits throughout their childhood and into the rest of their life.
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How To Approach Sleep Based On Your Baby’s Temperament — Lil Baby Sleep
I say this often. All babies are different, because they are human. In fact, we are all born with different temperaments and our personalities start to shine through, almost right away!
Temperament is just the way that our babies respond to the world around them. No temperament is better than another, they are just different. And as such, require different approaches.
When my daughter was born, I just expected her to act like a “newborn” having just my, then, 1 year old son as the only bench mark, I was shocked at how different she was in comparison. My son was more active and awake than my daughter and often took a while to settle. My daughter, was CHILL. Nothing really bothered her (even her big brother pulling her arms and legs like a rag doll). Nothing really phased her and she is still is a very go with the flow type personality. My approach to these two babies are very different. My son needs a longer wind down routine to help calm him at the end of a stimulating day. My daughter doesn’t need anything long and drawn out, in fact we keep her bedtime routine quite short or she’ll just fall asleep on us (not a bad problem to have).
We have adjusted our approaches to match our kids personality types because fighting against their personalities will inevitably cause push back.
It’s better to go WITH the wave than against it.
This is why the first thing I do when I work with a new client is find out what the personality of the child is and match the approach we take to go WITH their character traits and not against them. Setting them up for success.
Sometimes, a parents idea of how they want to approach sleep and a baby’s temperament clash. This is when we have to discuss what is going to be the easiest and best approach for BOTH. Because believe it or not, sleep solutions have to fit both a parents parenting style (they have to feel comfortable with them to successfully implement them) AND suit a baby’s personality for them to be effective, quick and easy. You’ll be surprised how easy it is when we have a good personality/solution match!
There are nine temperament traits I commonly look for.
I will use a few as examples of how I would approach each trait (when a baby is developmentally ready to implement sleep training techniques):
Example 1: Distractibility– Is your baby easily distracted? Can you generally take their attention to something else. For example, if they are hungry can you temporarily distract them with a pacifier?
In this case a baby who is easily distracted will likely respond to a gentler more gradual sleep training technique quickly. Whereas, a baby that can’t be distracted is better suited for a faster transition, as a slow gradual technique will be a longer more drawn out process for both parents and child.
Example 2: Sensitivity- How does your baby respond to new situations and people? Does baby brighten when they see something new or are they hesitant and recoil?
Generally, sensitive babies need a slower more gradual approach to sleep whereas babies that are more extraverted can adjust easier to changes.
It’s important to note that all the recommendations that are made are done by analyzing the 9 different personality traits very carefully and no one baby is the same. Also, this is not carved in stone and there are definitely situations when we have used different strategies than what the 9 traits tell us and it has been successful. This is only one factor in the myriad of things I look at in my practice.
Usually three main personalities stand out when looking at temperament.
An “easy” temperament characterized by adapting easily to new situations and approaching them positively. Generally good mood and less or no intensity when faced with new stimuli.
A more “challenging” temperament also referred as “spirited” is characterized by hesitation and withdrawal from new situations, not as easily to adapt, described as fussy and has intense reactions.
An “I’ll get there on my own” personality is a baby that doesn’t react with much intensity but doesn’t necessary like new situations and tends to withdraw. They might be a lower energy and adapt slower. They do eventually get there but just at a much slower pace.
Dr. Harvey Karp breaks this up into four temperaments: Easy, Challenging, Sensitive and Intense.
Either way you slice it, there are ways to best approach any of these temperaments. As mentioned, none are bad, they just require us to tweak our plans so we are working with them instead of against them.
It’s been proven in numerous studies that temperament plays a big role in how we tailor our parenting styles. Every parent knows their child best and it is up to them to decide how to parent and approach sleep.
Taking all this in mind, in addition to numerous other external factors. It’s no surprise that a tailored approach to sleep is much more effective and well, works FASTER.
Let’s talk about what might be best suited for you and your particular little human. So we can get you there with a solid plan. Book a free call with me to chat about how I can help you.
What Is Baby Temperament? (9 Temperament Traits)
Some babies are easy. They sleep full nights, eat at regular intervals, and new situations or people don’t bother them much. They smile at their parents, aren’t afraid of strangers, and can fall asleep anywhere.
Other children, however, are difficult to put to bed and cry in new environments or when exposed to loud noises. They never seem to follow regular rhythms. Consequently, some parents may feel like they’re doing something wrong.
Understanding your baby’s temperament should help you cope with the challenges you’ll face. Knowledge of your child’s personality equips you to give them the kind of care and nurturing they need.
Table of Contents
What Is Temperament?
9 Temperament Traits
Types of Temperament
Temperament Table
Are Easy Babies Better Than Difficult Babies?
Differential Susceptibility
Child Temperament and Parenting Style
The Takeaway
What Is Temperament?
A baby’s temperament is the behavior that is visible to the parents as early as the first days after birth. It is evident in how babies react to the world, and how they express their emotions and needs (1). Temperament is biologically determined and has a big impact on a child’s development (2).
A baby’s first months can give you a glimpse into their personality. Just keep in mind that personality isn’t static; it keeps on developing. How you, as a parent, react to a baby’s behavior plays an important role in the person they grow up to be (3).
9 Temperament Traits
A famous psychological study from 1970 came up with nine behavioral traits that are used to determine baby temperament (4):
1. Activity and Inactivity
How active is your baby in general? Do they move around a lot while they’re sleeping or being dressed, or are they more calm and mellow?
Do they bounce in the crib a lot? Is it impossible to keep them from moving when you’re trying to change them?
2. Habit and Regularity
Does the baby follow regular cycles when eating and sleeping? Is it impossible for your family to abide by any schedules?
3.
Baby’s Adaptability
How well does your baby adapt to new situations? Do they only accept known environments and foods? Are they just as happy in new situations as they are in familiar settings?
4. Intensity of Reactions
Are the baby’s emotions and reactions too intense? Does every cry feel like the end of the world? Do they just quietly whimper when they’re hungry?
5. Distractibility or Lack Thereof
How easy is it for your baby to be distracted? Do they cry the whole time you’re changing their diaper? Is it impossible to draw their attention away from whatever they’ve set their eyes on?
6. Responsiveness to Change
This refers to the baby’s response to sensory changes.
Does every loud noise and change in clothing or temperature trigger a response? Do they refuse new foods?
7. Baby’s Mood
Is the baby generally in a good mood or are they more negative? Do they cry when given food they don’t like? Do they tend to smile, play, and splash around when you’re bathing them?
8.
Approach to What’s New
Is the baby open to new experiences, or are they more withdrawn? Do they cry when they see strangers (although stranger anxiety is normal between nine to 30 months old)? Do they like new foods, toys, and people?
9. Persistence and Attention Span
Does the baby give up easily in the face of challenges? Do they lose interest in a pacifier after a while? Do they only cry for a little while after they’ve woken up?
Types of Temperament
From these nine characteristics, you can easily judge what temperament type best represents your baby.
About 35 percent of babies might be harder to fit neatly into one category (5). They present characteristics of different temperament types, but not clearly enough to be part of one of the three groups below:
Babies with Easy Temperaments
Babies with easy temperaments are those who sleep and eat with regularity.
They’re generally in a good mood, and don’t seem to be bothered by anything that’s happening around them. They adapt to new situations and people with ease.
Approximately 40 percent of babies are in this group (6).
Babies With Difficult Temperament
Babies with a difficult temperament give parents sleepless nights, especially during the first months of life. They cry a lot, and have a harder time adjusting to routines.
This group represents about 10 percent of babies (7).
Slow to Warm-Up
Some babies are slow to warm up, and it often seems like they’re shy or in a bad mood.
They have low activity levels, and experience a lot of difficulties when adapting to new things. These babies tend to be more withdrawn than curious, and external changes bother them. Around 15 percent of babies are in this group (8).
Temperament Table
What does your baby’s behavior say about their temperament?
Temperament Trait
Easy temperament
Slow to warm up
Difficult temperament
Activity
Varies
Low to moderate
Varies
Regularity
Very regular
Varies
Irregular
Adaptability
Easily adaptable
Slow to adapt
Slow to adapt
Intensity
Low
Low
Intense
Distractibility
Varies
Varies
Varies
Responsiveness
High or low
High or low
High or low
Mood
Positive
Slightly negative
Negative
Approach
Positive approach
Withdrawal at first, shy
Withdrawal
Persistence and attention span
High or low
High or low
High or low
Are Easy Babies Better Than Difficult Babies?
No baby is better than the other, although babies with easy tempers might seem less challenging for parents to raise (9).
Babies who react to their environment more strongly are by no means condemned to grow up to be difficult kids or adults. Temperament is not set in stone.
Easy babies may have problems later on, depending on the parenting style and their experiences during early childhood. Likewise, a baby’s difficult temperament isn’t a good indicator of their future personality either.
In fact, one study showed that infants considered to have a “difficult” temperament had stronger than expected language skills by 18 months old. It was felt that the extra verbal attention given to these infants had a positive effect on their speech development (10).
Many factors, including pregnancy hormones and labor, can have an influence on your baby for up to four months (11). After that, their personalities can change according to the kinds of input they receive from their environment throughout their childhood.
What matters is how you, as a parent, respond. This is where the role of fit between a parent and their baby comes into play. Fit refers to how compatible the child’s temperament is with his or her environment.
Pro Tip
As a parent, you should modify the environment to match the child’s temperament type. This is even more important in the case of the more difficult baby. If you’re impatient with a crying child, you might harm their development, especially if they’re highly sensitive (12).
Differential Susceptibility
Studies have shown that nature gives your baby their first personality traits early on, but parenting also affects the child’s development.
At first, the baby responds to their surroundings in a way that is mostly guided by their genes. Later, their life experiences mold these biological patterns, and help make them stronger or more vulnerable in moments of stress (13).
These differences are collectively referred to as differential susceptibility. They explain why even siblings in the same family setting develop differently. Even if the parenting style is the same, every baby has a different way of experiencing the world around them (14).
This is why it is especially important to understand your baby’s unique temperament.
Child Temperament and Parenting Style
What does this mean for parents looking for the best ways to deal with their sensitive children? The most important thing is to encourage the child into more favorable behavior with positive reinforcement.
Difficult Babies
If your baby cries a lot, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and feel like it’s your fault they’re not happy. The parents of a difficult child need to remain calm even if the baby is frustrated. If they have trouble with regularity, try to maintain specific meal and sleeping schedules as much as you can.
“Difficult” children are the ones most affected by their environment, and they often need more parental support. They need not only structure and consistency, but also loads of patience. As you’ve probably guessed by now, parents may need to use different parenting styles on difficult children (15).
Easy Babies
Happier babies, on the other hand, let their parents sail by those first months with ease. However, these kids are also easily neglected. Seeing as they don’t complain much, they may end up spending less time with their parents, and more on their own (16).
Slow to Warm Up
If your baby is slower to warm up, try letting them adapt to new things at their own pace. Take your child’s particular traits into account. Encourage them into new situations, but don’t force things on them.
Early temperament is only one factor, and your child’s personality may change a lot when they grow up. Their environment can help enhance or tone down some of their biological traits. Even a baby with problems adapting to regular rhythms can grow up to handle school and stressful situations like any other kid.
The Takeaway
Getting to know more about your baby’s personality can help you understand them better as they grow. Comparing their behavior to the characteristics above is useful in determining the kind of parenting they’ll need.
A baby with more intense reactions, who has a harder time with regularity, will need care and attention that’s different from what a more easy-going child will need.
Take note of their early personality, and keep an open mind. Work at the child’s pace, and the difficult times should be short-lived.
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Temperament and sleep of the child – based on the book by Mark Weissbluth “Healthy Sleep, Happy Child”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book “Healthy Sleep, Happy Child”. Part 6 – “Temperament and sleep” (key thoughts and useful information for parents).
The child cries over trifles, is capricious, does not want anything, and it is impossible to negotiate with him. What is it, the nature or effect of lack of sleep? How does temperament affect sleep, and how does sleep influence character formation?
Child crisis calendar
What is character?
Character is how the child interacts with the environment. Temperament is made up of several characteristics:
Mood – the total ratio of positive and negative reactions during the day.
Intensity of reactions – the strength with which the child expresses his emotions (both positive and negative).
Adaptability (flexibility) – easily or difficultly the child adapts to new circumstances or changes in the established order.
Acceptance is how a child accepts something new. Someone new is of interest, others are afraid and close.
Regularity – predictability, constancy of sleep and wake cycles, nutrition.
Activity – energy, mobility.
Distractibility – how easily a child can be distracted by external events.
Response threshold – the minimum force of external influences necessary for the child’s response.
Persistence Attention span is a measure of how long an infant participates in an activity.
“Difficult” and “easy” children
Parents do not evaluate all the parameters of their child’s character, but simply state the fact whether it is easy or difficult with him. Children who are rated as “difficult” are extremely intense in reactions, do not adapt well, have a tendency to bad mood, often withdraw into themselves. A study was conducted and it turned out that children with a “difficult” character sleep less in all age groups.
In this connection, Dr. Weisbluth believes that difficult children are excessively tired, and easy children are well rested.
A sleepy child, as a rule, arrives in a good, even mood, is sociable, and copes with changes more easily.
The influence of character on a child’s sleep
Adaptability and sensitivity greatly affect sleep. Any change in the mode or environment can lead to a long-term (up to several days) sleep disturbance, disorganization of biorhythms. Late bedtime and regular skipping of naps can also lead to the accumulation of fatigue, and then to hyper-fatigue. “Hyper fatigue, in turn, increases sensitivity, nervousness, causes hyperactivity and worsens sleep even more,” says Weisbluth.
What to do?
Regularity and consistency in establishing a regimen will help smooth out the influence of temperament on sleep, and also prevent lack of sleep, which can negatively affect the formation of character. The more difficult the situation, the more these qualities are required from parents.
Summary:
“Difficult” children are overtired, and “easy” children are well rested
Temperament characteristics such as adaptability and sensitivity significantly affect sleep
Regularity and consistency in establishing a regimen will help solve sleep problems
Inaction of parents or their inconsistency can lead to sleep disturbances in a child and, as a result, the formation of a “difficult” character in him
Read more:
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book “Healthy Sleep, Happy Child”. Foreword by BabySleep
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby. Part 1 – “Essentials of Healthy Sleep”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep, Happy Child. Part 2 – “The 5 Components of Healthy Sleep”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book “Healthy Sleep, Happy Child”. Part 3 – Sleep problems. Why is it important not to ignore them?
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep, Happy Child. Part 4 – “The Most Common Sleep Problems and Their Solutions”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book “Healthy Sleep, Happy Child”. Part 5 – “Colic and increased nervousness”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep, Happy Child. Part 7 – “How sleep changes from birth to 4 months”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book “Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby”. Part 8 – “How to improve baby’s sleep from birth to 4 months”
A series of articles based on Mark Weissbluth’s book “Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby”. Part 9 – “The sleep of a child aged 5 to 12 months”
Founder of BabySleep, the first sleep consultant in Russia and the CIS
Temperament and sleep | Consultations and courses on children’s sleep from the largest center “Baby’s Sleep”
Every mother knows that her child is amazing and unique, each has its own characteristics and habits. Of course, we try to bring up the best qualities in our children. But still, one should not forget that a small person is already born with a set of certain psycho-emotional traits, which are called temperament.
Such traits are genetically transmitted . Already at the age of 3-4 months, you can see how the unique traits of the child’s character are manifested. The older the child, the more skills he has (motor or speech development), the easier it is to determine the characteristics of the baby’s temperament.
The most famous classification of temperaments was developed in the USA. There are several types: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic.
Watch your child and you will be able to determine what type of temperament he belongs to.
CHOLERIC
Is your child full of strength and energy, it seems that he stops for a second, reboots and is ready to run, jump and play again? Nothing ever tires him.
Such a child needs to be prepared for bed well in advance, at least an hour in advance. You need to learn to slow down, relax, move from active to calm wakefulness. But remember that calm games for them are sheer torment, they are not enough for a long time. A warm bath has a good effect on sleep, as it is an opportunity to combine active wakefulness and relaxation that comes after. To calm the nervous system a little, you can feed the child just before bedtime.
The temperament of a child at preschool age is clearly manifested in an unwillingness to endure boredom. It is better to direct the energy of a small top into a peaceful direction.
The temperament of a child a year has a strong influence on his sleep. For example, daytime sleep is rapidly declining, it is enough for him to sleep only a few times. The quality of night sleep is highly dependent on the workload of the day. In order for your baby to sleep without hind legs, it is necessary that he use his energy as much as possible.
A choleric child cannot bear the restriction of his freedom . Therefore, any attempts of parents to swaddle, limit the movement of the baby will be crowned with a complete failure and end in hysteria.
SANGUINE
A feature of this type of temperament is a close relationship between emotional and physical state. Therefore, it is not easy for such a child to sleep the whole night and swaddling is a good solution. By restricting his movements, you calm him down.
Up to a year temperament is manifested in the ease of falling asleep after short active games. Of course, they also need to reduce activity before going to bed, but you can start 20-30 minutes before bedtime.
This child is a mood, you should always pay attention to it . You won’t be able to do anything contrary to his plans. They very easily switch their attention, this must be taken into account in the process of putting to sleep. Since any little thing can bring down his mood and evoke emotions.
Even at preschool age, a routine is important for them, and in general, such children will not show much resistance if their parents start a daily routine. But one should very carefully study the habits and needs of the child during the day in order to coordinate the regimen and his mood for a particular activity.
PHLEGMATIC
If you are a parent of a child with such a temperament, then you can easily create a daily routine that will be easy for both you and the baby. Such babies do not like surprises, they feel more comfortable when they know the sequence of actions during the day . Often, this behavior of children is carried over into adulthood. Often habits stay with them forever.
Your child can easily fall asleep on his own if he is tired, he prefers quiet, measured activities to active games. At preschool age, temperament manifests itself as slowness, thoughtfulness, measured thinking. They are confident in themselves and know their own worth.
MELANCHOLIC
Very sensitive, emotional and vulnerable children. In a melancholic child, there is a very close connection between his emotional and physical state . Therefore, on the one hand, they can go on about you. But if they don’t like it, then the kid will make you nervous.
At the same time, such a child is a very enthusiastic nature, and with the right parental approach, it is not so difficult to achieve a result from a child. For example, you put the baby to sleep, he seems to agree, but tests your patience by not falling asleep (spinning and spinning, but sleep is not in one eye). Apply cunning – come up with a fascinating fairy tale with an incredible plot. And now the baby is already quiet, relaxed and will fall asleep very soon.
As we have already found out, temperament determines the behavior of a child . Therefore, after analyzing the habits, behavioral characteristics, you can easily determine what kind of temperament your child has.
Baby’s mood. How often and difficultly does it change, which especially affects it.
How a child perceives something new in life (an event or an object).
How quickly it adapts to new conditions.
How active the baby is during the day.
How does he feel about repetitive activities every day. Is it easy for him to live according to the rhythm/routine of the day.
The level of his emotional susceptibility.
How easily the child switches or retains attention.
Why is it important to determine the type of child’s temperament?
In addition to helping you understand him better, to understand psycho-emotional connections, behavioral features of temperament affect absolutely all areas of a baby’s life, including sleep.
An incorrect assessment of the nature and, accordingly, an incorrect approach can cause a significant blow to the quality and quantity of sleep.
Temperament determines the ability to fall asleep alone or with the help of an adult, the presence of problems with awakening, a predisposition to overexcitation and calming down. It is quite rare to find a baby whose behavior fits only one type of temperament. Therefore, as a rule, it is a combination of different qualities and characteristics.
For a child with a difficult temperament, it is necessary to create a certain system and predictability, create rituals for waking up and falling asleep, and clearly build the rhythm of the day.
On the course “SLEEP PASSPORT” and “BABY’S SLEEP. MOTHER IN RESOURCE” we will help you with this. We will show you how to organize active and quiet wakefulness, remove resistance during bedtime, adapt the process of establishing sleep, based on the personality of your child. You can also write to us on Instagram, and we will tell you which course will be most useful for you or develop an individual work plan for you and your baby.
Author: Tatyana Kremneva.
If you want to get to know your child even better, take the T. Hogg test: “What is my baby test”. Test results – see the article.
Did you manage to determine the temperament of your baby? did you notice the temperament? Share in the comments below.
Child’s temperament: 10 characteristics that affect sleep. Why does a child fall asleep for a long time
ALL
Daily regime
Sleep training
daytime sleep
Sleep regression
Good to know about sleep
Special situations
Newborn sleep
September 5, 2017
Content:
Temperament and sleep: why the child does not sleep well
Motor and speech activity
Level of sensitivity and intensity of reactions
Level of concentration and distractibility
Level of adaptability and acceptance
Rhythm
Mood quality
Probably no one will argue with the fact that all children are different. Mothers with two or more children will confirm that even twins, and even more so siblings, differ from each other not only in appearance, but also in character. And often this character is manifested from birth. Consequently, it is associated not only with the methods of education and living conditions, but also with some innate features of the functioning of the nervous system, the totality of which is called temperament .
Traditionally science distinguishes four main types of temperament: sanguine, melancholic, phlegmatic and choleric. Each type of temperament has its own strengths and weaknesses, including how the baby sleeps:
, are distracted. The transition from sleep to wakefulness and vice versa in these babies is quite easy, but external factors can distract their attention. During bedtime, this may be expressed in the fact that the child does not want to switch to sleep in any way – he jumps up, turns around in bed, asks for food, drink, play, etc. But, despite the fact that the child falls asleep for a long time, the sleep of a sanguine person is usually calm and consolidated.
The main features of choleric can be considered activity and slight excitability. They are energetic, easily adapt to changes, quickly “turn on” and calm down for a long time, prone to irritability, it is difficult for them to maintain discipline. Parents of such babies often ask the question “How to put him down?” Because they express their dissatisfaction loudly and violently, laying down can be delayed, the child falls asleep with tantrums, and sleep is often intermittent and restless.
Phlegmatic people are calm, persistent and stubborn. They love stability and regularity. Phlegmatic habits are formed for a long time and are very stable. Under familiar circumstances, they calmly go to bed, fall asleep quickly and soundly, but changing conditions can unsettle them.
Melancholic are sensitive and impressionable. In response to changes in the environment and stressful situations, they tend to be offended, sad and withdraw into themselves. Responsive, gentle and empathic. They get tired quickly, so they fit relatively easily, but sleep can be disturbing. If a child often wakes up at night and cries for no reason such as physical discomfort or hunger, this may be due to the melancholic type of temperament.
In its pure form, none of the types is practically found, in any person there are signs of each of them, mixed in different proportions. By the predominance of signs, each person’s belonging to one or another type of temperament is determined.
The child’s temperament is expressed in such characteristics as emotionality, ways of interacting with the surrounding reality, motor and speech activity, adaptability, etc. To better understand why a child can fall asleep for a long time and poorly, it is worth considering these features and acting accordingly.
Motor and speech activity
you can’t get a word out, preferring to spend time flipping through books or collecting puzzles. This does not mean that some will never be kept in place, while others cannot be “stirred up”. They just have different activity needs.
The organization of children’s sleep requires attention in this matter. For calmer babies, it may be enough to say good night and turn off the lights to fall asleep, while active babies need a long gradual ritual to go to sleep. Eating before bed can also affect the activity of fidgets. Especially stimulate the production of energy sweets. Therefore, if your baby begins to “stand on its head” in the evening, it is worth moving dinner to an earlier time and giving up sweets for the night.
Sensitivity level and intensity of reactions
Some babies seem to be able to wake up from a light breath, whisper or even a glance in their direction, while others will not interfere with sleep even repair at the neighbors or a soiled diaper. If your baby is sensitive, try to minimize the amount of irritants before bedtime. Carefully monitor the temperature in the bedroom, darken the room during sleep, keep silence if possible (you can use white noise), make sure that vivid impressions and emotions occur mainly in the first half of the day, and spend the evening doing quiet activities and keep calm yourself. Ensure that laying conditions are as constant as possible so as not to cause undue anxiety.
Level of focus and distractibility
Persistent children do not accept rejection. It is difficult to distract them from the intended goal. And if that goal is to stay awake when it’s time to sleep, parents have to call on all their patience and willpower to defeat little stubborn ones.
To make bedtime easier, make your bedtime routine as consistent as possible. Try every day to strictly observe the time and order of actions during the ritual. Watching the baby, pick up such actions that the baby will like, and then he himself will remind you what to do next.
Otherwise, if the child’s attention shifts easily, it is worth removing all distractions from the sleeping area – lights, sounds, extra toys from the crib. At the same time, the ritual should remain stable, and the conditions, if possible, unchanged.
Level of adaptability and acceptance
An indicator related to the previous points and expressed in how sensitive the child is to changing conditions. I note that, to one degree or another, changing conditions affect the sleep of every child, but some children adapt to new circumstances, whether it be changes in the ritual, moving to a new room (bed) or a long journey, quite quickly. For others, such innovations are given with great difficulty, causing problems with sleep and whims during bedtime. It is the level of sensitivity that determines how adaptive the child is to change, and how much he will resist them. For example, it takes 3 repetitions to form a new habit. A sensitive baby may need 5.
To help sensitive babies sleep better, try to be as close to familiar conditions as possible in emergency situations and strictly observe them in everyday life.
Rhythm
For some people since childhood, you can compare the clock: they fall asleep, wake up and eat according to a clear internal schedule. It is about them that the saying “War is war, but lunch is on schedule” was invented. When constructing a regime, this factor should be taken into account. Other children may forget about sleep and food if they are engrossed in an interesting activity, or vice versa, they are upset or scared. These guys take longer to learn sleep habits, but keeping the activity consistent will help them tune in to sleep at the right time.
Quality of mood
Children who are prone to negative emotions, who are easily upset, also need stability more than eternal optimists. Before going to bed, such babies may experience sadness from the upcoming separation from their mother, fear of the dark, it is difficult for them to cope with their experiences.
The ritual for sensitive children should include more physical interaction. Hugs, kisses, strokes, light massage will help them relax and feel more confident. Sensitive babies will need a soft spy toy, which will also provide tactile sensations and help cope with loneliness. If the child is afraid to fall asleep in the dark, a dim night light can be left on while falling asleep.
The ability to fall asleep independently and the continuity of a night’s sleep directly depend on temperament, but the opposite is also true.
This was noted by Mark Weissbluth, author of the book Healthy Sleep, Happy Child. He observed 60 children during the first three years of their life, conditionally dividing the kids according to the type of temperament into “difficult” and “easy”. And the “lungs” initially slept more, but if children with the so-called “difficult” temperament managed to sleep longer, they had fewer negative manifestations, and in “light” babies, their character deteriorated with lack of sleep. On this basis, Weissbluth argues that lack of sleep exacerbates problematic behaviors due to the type of temperament, and high-quality full sleep, on the contrary, helps smooth out the difficulties. I think you will agree that this statement is true not only for small children?;)
Individual temperament does not make one child better than another. It is they who make up his unique personality. They affect all areas of life, therefore, our task is to help our crumbs use their potential as efficiently as possible. Quality rest is one of our main allies, and the main tools that help us in establishing a good sleep are stability and a regimen based on understanding the individual needs of the child. Watch your baby’s reactions, and then the answer to the question of how to put the baby to bed will become more obvious.
Author: Olga Snegovskaya, Certified Child Sleep Consultant.
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Temperament and sleep. Your baby from birth to two years
Temperament and sleep. Your baby from birth to two years
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Your baby from birth to two years Sears March
Contents
Temperament and sleep
You are among other mothers who will not fail to brag about what a wonderful child they have. There is a difficult question: “Does your child sleep through the night?” Not wanting to be cut off from this happy circle of fully resting moms, you quietly mutter, “Well, almost…” You need someone to share your misfortune with you, but all you got is a room full of perfect moms with perfect, perfectly sleeping children. Don’t lose any more sleep because your friends’ kids are so good. How well a baby sleeps is not a measure of good maternal care. In addition, most likely, they exaggerate the wonderfulness of their child at night anyway. Two mothers can have the same parenting approach, but one has a baby that constantly wakes up during the night and the other doesn’t. You may be lucky to have a high-demanding child (whom you will meet in the next chapter) whose daytime temperament stays with him and with you also at night. No two children look the same, eat the same, or sleep the same. Children wake up because of their temperament, not because of your parental failure.
This text is an introductory fragment.
Temperament of a small person
Temperament of a small person
How lucky are the parents of a balanced sanguine baby. Yes… But no more than the rest. For some reason, many are sure that quickly adapting to new conditions and reasoning soberly in critical situations is the main thing in life, but
Do you know what your baby’s temperament is
Do you know what your baby’s temperament is?
What is temperament?
Simply put, this is the speed and strength of the response of the nervous system in response to a stimulus. And while the baby is small, he reacts to everything, only based on his temperament, but as
What is temperament?
What is temperament?
Simply put, this is the speed and strength of the response of the nervous system in response to a stimulus. And while the baby is small, he reacts to everything, only based on his temperament, but as the little one grows up, his nervous system becomes
Let’s determine which temperament is closer to your child
Determine which temperament is closer to your child
It seems that there are few types of temperament – only four, but it is sometimes difficult to understand which of them to attribute your baby to! To help parents understand this, psychologists have developed a special test. Just
Temperament
Temperament
So, temperament. Only four positions. Choleric. Sanguine. Melancholic. Phlegmatic. It is difficult to find a person who has not heard about these four types of temperament. Even harder to find those who clearly imagine how
Emotions and personality temperament
Emotions and personality temperament
The emotional sphere in the personality structure, depending on the type of temperament of a person, can have a different character. So, a choleric person (from the Greek chole – bile) is a typical extrovert, prone to sudden mood swings, impulsive,
Such is the temperament
Such is the temperament
Children gain fat not only from consuming too many calories, but also from not burning enough of them. Active, restless children typically burn more calories and are less likely to gain weight.
Child temperament – parental responsiveness
Children’s temperament – parental responsiveness
As we have said, every child is born with a certain level of needs. In order for them to achieve the level of care they need, children have attachment-producing behavior, that is, “irresistible”
Baby temperament
Articles
Baby temperament
Choleric
Temperament is the basis of character. This is a set of spiritual, mental components that characterize a person’s behavior, his attitude towards others. When we meet a person with a similar temperament, we are comfortable together. But nature is amazing, and a phlegmatic child can easily be born to an energetic mother. Or vice versa.
Choleric is very mobile, active, emotional. Such a baby does not sit still, he is not assiduous, easily – excitable, and it is difficult for him to give calm tasks that require increased attention. Such children do not need to be slowed down, do not scold them for being “shilopops”. Their energy flows over the edge and it must be directed correctly. One way is sports. It is for choleric people that sport is a great opportunity to increase perseverance.
And these children should also be taught to calm down. They need to find not only an active, but also a quiet hobby of designing, drawing, playing with sand and water.
Choleric babies react very sharply to everything, they start screaming even with small stimuli. A loud scream can evoke anything from hunger to touch. Such children especially need calm and careful handling in order to relieve internal tension.
Recommended for classes: “My first masterpieces” for the development of perseverance, “Clever. Emotions” for relaxation skills. And for active games, Umnitsa.Skylark English is perfect.
Melancholic
Such a child is very vulnerable. It is hard for him to endure various changes in the environment, it is hard to get used to the new, he is more attached to his mother and is reluctant to participate in group games. These children subtly feel the world and are very diligent. For such a baby, it is important to maintain a calm, kind atmosphere, praise for any efforts and present everything in a positive way. Do not scold melancholic people, it lowers their self-esteem.
A melancholic infant is often dissatisfied with something, is capricious, cannot sleep. This causes anxiety in parents – you exude love, and the baby seems to “not appreciate” this. Little melancholics need more time to get used to the world outside and accept something new. They love to be in the arms of their mother and are worried when she is not in sight. Parents can use a sling or ergo backpack, Velcro diapers, and generally all ways to ensure close contact with the child.
Recommended for classes: Series “Education of character by a fairy tale” (“Will”, “Leadership” – for the development of determination), “Lessons of communication” (to prepare for communication in a new team, for example, in a kindergarten).
Phlegmatic
These kids are neat, patient, disciplined. They do not like noisy games, they are calmer at home. Such a baby can easily refuse a walk in favor of home games. They, like melancholics, have a hard time making contact with new people. Such a child does everything slowly, carefully, but conscientiously. The main thing is not to rush and not try to do something for him, but give him as much time as he needs. You go quieter – you will continue – this is the motto of phlegmatic people. Pushing and rushing such a baby, you only irritate him more, do not allow him to concentrate, so he does everything even more slowly.
Phlegmatic babies love to sleep. Such children sometimes have to be woken up to feed – they are so immersed in themselves. The baby can lie in the crib for a long time and examine, say, his own hands. It seems that they themselves don’t really need anything, so it’s worth the parents to arouse his interest in the world around him and his relatives, only very carefully and unobtrusively.
Recommended for classes: mathematical games (“Smart dragons”, Dominoes “I think it’s easy”), “Masterpieces for the little ones”.
Sanguine
Energy over the edge. Very positive, good-natured and sociable kids. They like noisy group games, change of activity and dynamics. Sanguine is inquisitive and quickly adapts to new changes. True, often throws the case, not bringing it to the end. His interests are fickle, he grabs for everything at once. Do not limit the baby in the choice of games and activities. To help the sanguine person complete the task, come up with an interesting goal, “come on, let’s draw a lot of circles there to fill the entire sheet,” this fuels their interest.
Sanguine babies sleep less than other children, as if they want to “finish everything”. Such children need experiences – for example, an open stroller to look at the world. They do not like to sit still and learn to walk, open boxes, communicate with other children earlier than others. Sanguine people will appreciate new toys, interesting tasks, trips to visit.
Recommended for classes: “Good girl. Intelligence” (we teach to achieve goals), “Peace in the palm of your hand” (to meet the need for diversity in learning).
“Pure” temperaments are very rare. You can see all the traits in your child, little by little. Usually there is one leading temperament, and other types appear depending on the circumstances. Temperament cannot be changed, but you can work with specific features, smooth them out, or develop them vice versa.
The inclinations of temperament can be seen already in the smallest children, but in general one can speak with relative certainty about the character traits of a child at the age of about 2 years.
Temperament of the child – portal “Always Near”
Determine the type of temperament of your child
(age 5-9 years)
Temperament is considered to be an innate personality characteristic. Traditionally, four types of temperament are distinguished: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic. And although pure types are quite rare, understanding the prevailing temperament provides quite important information. In children, the traits of one or another temperament appear already at the age of 3-4 years, but it can be more reliably identified at the age of 5-6 years.
The difference in temperaments between parents and children can lead to deep conflicts if you do not realize in time what the problem is. It will be much easier for you to understand your child, guide, calculate his load, interest, develop his best qualities if you determine what type of temperament he has the most pronounced.
This test will give you an idea of your child’s dominant temperament type. Based on the results, you will receive recommendations on how to interact with the child, the characteristics of his behavior. The optimal test result will be obtained if the child’s age is 5-9years.
Watch your children. Read carefully everything that is written below, and determine which traits are most characteristic of you and your child. Do all this without fail, because temperament determines the behavior of your child in the team, as well as how he learns and plays, experiences and rejoices.
Just remember that you should not think that bad manners, rudeness, irresponsibility and other shortcomings of education are the fault of temperament. Temperament characterizes only innate character traits: emotionality, sensitivity, activity, vigor. Hobbies, views, upbringing and social orientation of a person do not depend on him. The type of temperament determines the manner of behavior and mode of action of a person in the environment.
TEST Choose the answer that best suits your child.
1. What character traits predominate in a child?
a) Cheerfulness, optimism, compromise, sociability, risk taking. b) Calmness, slowness, thoroughness, restraint, peacefulness. c) Vigor, restlessness, playfulness, ardor, cockiness. d) Timidity, shyness, resentment, impressionability, indecision.
2. What are the most frequent, strongest emotions?
a) Positive emotions. b) No violent reactions, tends to positive emotions. c) Stormy emotions, anger. d) Shyness, fear.
3. Reaction to punishments
a) Calm. b) Without emotions. c) On verbal – calm, on the rest – with violent reactions of protest. d) Resentment, negative emotions.
4. How does the child behave in unforeseen situations?
a) Curious (positive attitude prevails). b) Not emotional. c) Tries to resist (need to overcome). d) Tries to avoid this event (need for self-preservation).
5. What kind of games does the child prefer?
a) Any, but so that life is in full swing in them. b) Calm, quiet, secluded. c) Noisy, gambling, mobile, often aggressive. d) Quiet, secluded; noisy, mobile – only with loved ones.
6. Is your child sociable?
a) Loves the company of children and adults, quickly gets to know each other. b) Prefers solitude. c) Companions and spectators are always needed. d) Prefers loneliness, sociable only with close people.
7. What is the child like among his peers, is he inclined to leadership?
a) The soul of the company, the leader of the children’s choice. b) Not authoritative among children, there is no question of leadership. c) Peers have different attitudes, he offers himself as a leader. d) Authoritative only among small friends, not a leader.
8. How does he learn new things?
a) Easy and fast. b) Thoroughly, but slowly. c) He grasps everything on the fly and just as quickly forgets. d) Masters quickly or slowly, depending on the circumstances.
9. Features of memory. How quickly does a child memorize a fairy tale? Does it capture the whole or the details? How long does he remember?
a) Easily and quickly grasps the whole and remembers for a long time (good short-term and long-term memory). b) Slowly, but remembers the whole, almost never forgets (good long-term memory). c) Very quickly, mostly remembers details, but quickly forgets (only short-term memory is well developed). d) Differently, delves into the little things (high distractibility interferes with short-term memory, and self-doubt interferes with long-term memory).
10. Fatigue after some activity
a) Average (tired according to activity). b) Low (practically does not get tired). c) Medium, sometimes high (depending on the outburst of one’s emotions). d) High (gets tired of the slightest activity).
11. Is it easy for a child to learn age skills?
a) Easy and effortless. b) With difficulty (skills are formed for a long time, but for a long time). c) Age appropriate (does only what is interesting). d) Fast, but unstable (may be regression under stress).
12. What movements are predominant in the child?
a) Confident, precise, rhythmic. b) Sluggish, unhurried, solid. c) Impetuous, sharp. d) Unsure, inaccurate, fussy.
13. Features of speech
a) Speech is expressive, lively, with facial expressions and gestures. b) Speech is slow, inexpressive, without gestures. c) Speech is fast, abrupt, emotional, often breaks into a scream. Chatters, swallowing syllables and words. d) Speech is expressive, but quiet and uncertain.
14. Sleep features
a) Usually falls asleep quickly, sleeps well, wakes up with a smile. b) Falls asleep immediately, sleeps calmly, after sleep he walks sluggish, sleepy. c) Falls asleep for a long time and with difficulty, sleeps restlessly, wakes up in a different mood: from the best to the worst. d) Goes to bed for a long time, but quickly falls asleep, wakes up cheerful.
15. How did the child get used to kindergarten, school?
a) Adapted easily, quickly. b) Afraid of the new, did not want changes, adapted for a long time. c) Easily got used to the new environment, with difficulty fulfilled the requirements of adults. d) Couldn’t get used to it, adapted with difficulty.
RESULT
If answers a) are more common, then the child is dominated by a strong, balanced, mobile type – sanguine.
Sanguine people are suitable for bright, lively professions in which he can satisfy his communication needs, open new horizons, and show creativity.
Famous sanguine people: M. Yu. Lermontov, V. A. Mozart, “The leader of the world proletariat” V. I. Lenin, Napoleon Bonaparte; fairy tale characters: Winnie the Pooh, Monkey from the cartoon “Boa constrictor, baby elephant, parrot and monkey”, Pinocchio from the “Golden Key”.
If answers b) are more common, then the child has a strong, balanced, inert phlegmatic temperament.
Phlegmatic is a record holder for efficiency, he, like no one else, can perform any monotonous work, work that requires thoroughness, for a long time and with high quality. The equanimity of a phlegmatic person is useful in all areas of activity where it is necessary to calmly analyze the situation and make a decision. Famous phlegmatic people: M. I. Kutuzov, I. A. Krylov; the character of the crocodile Genna from the cartoon by E. Uspensky “Cheburashka”.
If answer options c) are more common, then the child has a strong, unbalanced, inert character – choleric.
Cholerics achieve great success in those professions that require increased concentration, attention and energy. They are leaders. This type of temperament stands out for its great resistance to stress. Famous choleric people: A. V. Suvorov, Peter I, A. S. Pushkin; heroes of films and cartoons: Aramis from The Three Musketeers, Karabas-Barabas from The Golden Key, Piglet from Winnie the Pooh.
If answers d) are more common, then the melancholic temperament prevails.
Melancholic people should not choose a job where constant communication with people is required, since “communication” with computers is much better for them. Famous melancholics: P. I. Tchaikovsky, N. V. Gogol; fairy-tale character: Eeyore the donkey from Winnie the Pooh.
Why do we need to know the temperament of our child?
You must have seen more than once how different children react differently to the same situation. This is best seen in the sandbox or in the children’s team, left to itself. Here is someone crying inconsolably and for a long time because a toy was taken away from him, someone calmly switches to something else, “nobody’s”, someone gives change and tries to take the toy back, or is looking for mother’s help and support – but in any case, it is active. And someone, quickly giving change, takes away the toy from another kid. People who do not take into account such a thing as “temperament” immediately rush to blame the child or his mother for the fact that the child behaves inappropriately.
According to the dictionary, temperament is a characteristic of an individual in terms of his dynamic features: intensity, speed, pace, rhythm of mental processes and states. I will add – an innate characteristic. That is, there is no need to try to remake temperament, it is determined by the “arrangement” of our nervous system and, as a rule, does not change throughout life. Temperament is not good, not bad, it is desirable to simply know it in order to use its strengths and take into account weaknesses. The fact is that the effectiveness of interaction with him largely depends on the temperament of the child. Knowing these features and understanding them, being aware of what kind of child you have, you will greatly facilitate your life.
I draw your attention to the fact that temperaments in their pure form almost never occur, as a rule, they are mixed in one or another combination.
Choleric
A kind of Mr. Fix – you do not know what to expect from him in the next minute, and he himself does not know this because of his impulsiveness. Choleric children are usually noisy, active, unrestrained. Their speech is loud and fast. The movements are sharp, energetic. The mood can change quickly. They feel difficulties in adapting to all sorts of prohibitions, established orders, and the requirements of elders. They will seek to lead, command, set the rules, and passionately uphold them. They react violently to criticism with shouting, anger. Emotional experiences are strong, short-lived. Attitude towards new things is positive. Self-esteem is greatly inflated.
Frequent problems:
often they are so carried away by their next idea that they simply do not hear your instructions;
tasks rush to complete without listening to the end, they do everything quickly, but carelessly, not noticing inaccuracies and mistakes;
hardly compromise, are quick-tempered and aggressive beyond measure;
excessive independence, love of risk and a tendency to rash acts can lead to unpleasant situations;
are very sociable, but they can easily quarrel with the whole team at once and with each one individually. In a kindergarten, elementary school, when the authority of adults is strong, a choleric person who constantly receives comments from educators and teachers can easily become an outcast in the children’s team;
communication problems in adolescence often lead to hysterical reactions, suicide threats. Fortunately, these threats are rarely carried out.
Adult errors:
tight control, limitation of activity, angry demands to take care of oneself lead only to nervousness and loss of contact with the child.
Features of training
Weaknesses: may be inattentive in class, not always able to control their emotions, easily distracted. They say about them: “It flew into one ear, flew out into the other.” They cannot stand monotonous work, monotonous uninteresting tasks. They can shout, interrupt, answer, the first thing they remember, because they do not have time to cope with momentary feelings and restrain themselves.
Strengths: energetic, strong-willed, independent, active. Despite the fact that they cannot be engaged in some kind of activity for a long time, if they are interested in, fascinates, they are able to actively and purposefully engage in it.
Recommendations for parents and caregivers:
speech of an adult should be quiet and calm during conversations with a choleric child;
obligatory daily routine and its observance;
should not suppress activity, he urgently needs it. His energy should be directed to useful purposes – study, sections, help around the house, but a few hours before bedtime it is necessary to organize calm games;
develop perseverance, and improve attention. This is facilitated by board games, design, drawing, modeling;
do not force the choleric person to do homework, but to captivate him with the process or result;
monotonous work is given to him with difficulty, so it can be done by breaking it into stages;
where you can let the choleric not sit at the table – let me. You can learn a poem on the way to the section, retell it – sitting on the carpet or doing it on the horizontal bar;
during team games, you need to encourage him to adhere to the rules and learn to control his behavior;
create a situation of success for him. A leader by nature does not tolerate harsh criticism, constant setbacks and failures. Tasks for speed and results will work well. Recognize his successes and praise him. The main thing is to adequately assess its capabilities.
Sanguine
“Who are you friends with?” – “With everyone!” A lively, confident, strong, balanced and friendly child who easily makes contact. Sincere, funny. This child – the “sun” – is usually in a good mood, inquisitive, able to control his emotions. Sanguine people easily understand other people, are not particularly demanding of others and tend to accept people for who they are. They do not fight for power, but often occupy a leading position in the company. They speak mostly loudly, quickly, emotionally. Speech is usually accompanied by pronounced facial expressions and gestures. Growing up, they give the impression of a decisive, optimistic, self-confident person. They easily converge with people, adapt to a new environment, do not lose their sense of humor in difficult situations, remaining collected and businesslike.
Emotional experiences – superficial, short-term. The attitude to the new is curious. Self-esteem is inflated.
Frequent problems:
if you entrust him with a boring and monotonous job, he will easily “forget” about it and do something more interesting;
, if he nevertheless takes up your assignment, he will quit as soon as he is offered something even more attractive;
not all of his many friends will correspond to the circle of people familiar to you.
Adult errors:
The sanguine person communicates easily, cheerfully and quickly grasps the educational material, and parents often do not pay attention to the fact that the child is superficial, stop controlling him and look closely at his inner world.
The usual friendly and cheerful tone of a teenager can hide his inner feelings and problems from close people. Negligence in studies, inability to bring things to the end, inattention to trifles greatly affect academic performance, and in the future – success in work.
Features of training
Weaknesses: are easily distracted without control, superficially delve into the essence of the task. Often they do not finish the work they have started, if they get tired of it. Uninteresting work bores them, and they try to get rid of it as soon as possible.
Strengths: easily survive failures and criticism. Usually, studying is easy for them, they grasp everything on the fly, are able to withstand intellectual loads, and are efficient.
Recommendations for parents and caregivers:
competent organization of his workplace. Nothing superfluous should distract or attract attention;
control over the execution of tasks. It is important that the case is brought to the end and of high quality;
to alternate studies with other activities, then his activity will be longer;
To perform monotonous work is boring for a sanguine person, so you need to diversify it, turn it into a game, give free rein to your imagination. For example, not just write off the text, but decipher it for aliens who can only read capital letters;
should be persistent and strict in the upbringing of a sanguine person.
Phlegmatic
“Two plus two – equals five and that’s it,” on the drum! Calm, slow, assiduous and restrained child. Quite patient, including physical pain. He is consistent and thorough in his studies. Speaks slowly, calmly, smoothly, without expressing emotions, without gestures and facial expressions. Emotional experiences are weak, short-lived. Plays with several favorite toys, dislikes running and noise. He remembers the rules of the game for a long time, but then he rarely makes mistakes. Does not strive for leadership, does not like to make decisions, easily giving this right to others. Has a narrow circle of communication with children. Differs in stability in attachment. He is rarely offended, but if he quarrels, he can forever break off relations with the offender. Not a dreamer and not an inventor. Usually from childhood, neatly folds toys and clothes. It is the phlegmatic baby who is able to carefully and conscientiously tear off pieces of wallpaper in the living room for hours, without interfering with adults doing their own thing. He can work smoothly and productively even in adverse conditions, failures do not piss him off. The desire to observe traditions, frugality and calculation, strategy and taciturnity of the phlegmatic often lead to success. He likes to eat and sleep, he is picky about food. Attitude towards the new is negative. Self-esteem is adequate.
Frequent problems:
while he is washing, having breakfast and carefully tying his scarf, the bell for the lesson will ring long ago;
if he still manages to start, the bell for recess will ring before he beautifully writes “Classwork” in his notebook;
try without agreement to replace your usual breakfast with something new, and you risk running into a big scandal;
a little phlegmatic person is able to make you read the same bedtime story for a week without allowing you to change a single word in it;
a cunning sloth may deliberately move even more slowly so that the parent, tormented by expectation, loses his temper and quickly does everything himself;
offering your son or daughter to choose a new pen for school, get ready for the fact that he will review the entire range, and still you will make the choice for him.
Adult errors:
do not try to speed up the process of collecting or completing the task by shouting and scandals. Just start early;
do not try hard to impose a useful occupation from your point of view, if he resists;
do not be sarcastic, do not call him a lazy person, a mattress and other “affectionate” nicknames – the child may develop a fear of action and develop a sense of his inferiority;
be patient and do not rush to do everything for him, otherwise he will stop doing anything himself;
Learning features:
Weaknesses: it is difficult for phlegmatic people to “swing”, to start a new activity and hard to get out of it, they can “hang” on some business or hobby. When they are learning something new, the instruction should be repeated several times until they understand, get to the point. Hesitations and long reflections, where a quick and clear reaction is needed, often reduce his achievements to zero.
He is able to make a scandal if he was not given his cup or spoon, and in general he is unhappy if something violates the usual daily routine.
Strengths: steadily and stubbornly go to the goal, are able to concentrate on work for a long time, bring it to the end. If the phlegmatic understood something, learned it, this “hardware” information will be stored indefinitely. Accurate, punctual. Strives to create an orderly system for organizing his entire life and relationships with people around him and the world.
Recommendations for parents and caregivers:
daily routine, nutrition, sleep. Events must be predictable. Any failure in the program wastes their strength, demotivates them;
be tolerant of his slowness – reproaches and raising your voice will not lead to acceleration;
the child needs to repeat several times what is required of him. You can prepare checklists, gliders, tables so that the child can hear, see, and fill them out – this will help him get involved in the work;
if the child quickly and efficiently coped with a certain task, praise;
Encourage outdoor games.
Melancholic
“A melancholic will take for tragedy what a sanguine person will see only an interesting incident, and a phlegmatic one will see something that does not deserve attention.” (A. Schopenhauer)
These children are lost in an unfamiliar environment and completely unable to stand up for themselves, not self-confident. They rarely argue, more often they obey the opinion of stronger people. Don’t try to be leaders. The slightest nuisance can throw them off balance. With strangers, they are timid, secretive, timid, although in an ordinary, favorable environment they are smart, sensitive and responsive. Their inner world is incredibly rich, it is characterized by depth and stability of feelings. They have a slight vulnerability. The speech is not loud, they quickly get tired, get lost if they meet difficulties, quickly give up. They need the support and approval of loved ones. Very sensitive, touchy, wary of everything new. In childhood, they behave like “little adults” – they are very reasonable, they like to find an explanation for everything. They love solitude. They often give the impression of closed people. Among relatives, they choose one with whom they are completely frank and share their experiences with him. The disclosure of their secrets can be a great trauma and make them even more withdrawn into themselves. In bed, they dream and think for a long time.
Melancholics are not unfortunate losers at all. Many of them are strong in literature, art, in professions that require great attention, spiritual subtlety. They make high demands on themselves and others and endure loneliness quite easily. Emotional experiences are deep, lasting. Attitude towards the new is pessimistic. Self-esteem is low.
Frequent problems:
making a completely innocent remark, you get a stream of tears and desperate: “I never succeed, I’m not good for anything!”;
in the children’s summer camp for the first three weeks – this sensitive creature yearns and looks at the world around with distrust. When the world finally seems quite acceptable and there are nice acquaintances, the shift will end;
having sent your child to do homework, you find him over an untouched task in sorrowful reflections on the topic: “I won’t succeed anyway …”;
you regularly receive a portion of complaints about rude and ill-mannered boys, snarky girls and boring teachers.
Adult errors:
Reassured by the quiet appearance of a withdrawn melancholic, adults often do not notice his experiences and problems. Constantly reproaching him for laziness, passivity and inability, parents (caregivers, teachers) only exacerbate his self-doubt and develop an inferiority complex.
Features of training
Weaknesses: in the classroom are inactive, afraid of mistakes and criticism, slowly get involved in the work, require praise, encouragement. They quickly get tired of loads, frequent changes in activities and the team.
Strengths: are responsible, executive, easily cope with monotonous work, neat.
I always knew when we started having kids I’d want to be a SAHM, at least until they were in school. Well, I’m due with my first in a couple of weeks and unfortunately we can’t afford for me to stay home with her after maternity leave ends. At least I get to take 12 weeks, but after that I had no idea what I was going to do with her.
I was starting to look into daycare when recently my MIL approached me and asked if I’d found anyone to watch the baby yet. I said no, and that it was stressing me out. She then tearfully proceeded to ask if I “would allow her grandmother to watch her.” I’m not sure why exactly she was emotional about it- was it because I hadn’t approached her to ask myself? Was is it because she considers it a huge honor? I had no idea, but what could I say? I told her yes. After she left I promptly burst into tears.
I know it sounds crazy- my MIL is one of the sweetest, most generous people I know. It will be a tremendous financial burden off of us, and I know the baby will be in the most loving hands. It’s a huge sacrifice for her to take my infant full time and she will spoil the baby to death. But here’s the thing, as much as I love my MIL, she drives me absolutely bat-shit crazy sometimes. She’s helpful to the point of being intrusive and VERY opinionated. She has something to say about EVERYTHING. She does not understand the concept of comfortable silence- she must ALWAYS be talking.
As well-intentioned as she is, my MIL can rub my nerves completely raw. And she will be raising my child 40 hours a week. Given my MIL’s strong-willed, very opinionated personality, I’m worried about being steam-rolled as a parent, that she’ll become too possessive (you should see how she is with our dog), plus I don’t want her aggravating tendencies to rub off on my baby as she gets older.
I’m generally a very logical person. Maybe I’m being too paranoid- or just jealous that someone else gets to bond all day with my baby when I can’t, which is literally heart-wrenching for me. I know I should be grateful and maybe I’m not giving my MIL enough credit. Still, how do I lay boundaries to prevent my fears from coming true?
Signed,
Always with the MIL issues
I don’t think you’re being too paranoid — this is one of those situations with a very large pro/con list, and you were basically put on the spot and guilted into agreeing before you had any time to weigh those pros and cons. Not cool. Even if you had ultimately agreed to go the MIL-as-nanny route, it would have been much, MUCH better if you had initially responded with a “Let me think about that offer and discuss it with Husband first.” And then “hired” her in a more formal way, with fewer tears and more “okay, but here are the ground rules” talks right from the start. 20/20 hindsight — totally the worst.
Having a family member as a primary caretaker is wonderful for many reasons. It’s an enormous financial load off your shoulders. You can rest easy knowing your baby is with someone who truly loves them and who is going to (hopefully) remain a stable, long-term fixture in her life. You don’t have to worry about any of the issues that come with traditional daycare, like unscheduled closings, inflexible hours, germs (and using YOUR sick days to stay home with a sick kid, only to get sick yourself with no leave left), rowdy older kids, and just that general nagging worry that your baby isn’t getting as much one-on-one attention as you’d like.
But oh, those cons. Those boundaries! Those mild in-law annoyances ratcheted up to 11! While ANY childcare arrangement requires a good deal of compromise and acceptance that no nanny or daycare in the world is going to always do things exactly the way you would, it can feel so, so PERSONAL when it’s your mom or MIL. And without good communication, it’s easy to let every little thing fester. You think she’s undermining you at every turn. She thinks you’re taking advantage of her by working late too many nights in a row. Why can’t she stick to the nap schedule? Why don’t you understand that sometimes your baby just doesn’t give a crap about your precious nap schedule? Why did you ever agree to this and how can you get out of it? Why did she ever agree to this and how can she get out of it? GAAAHHHHHHHH.
Our family all lived too far away to ever be a regular childcare option — though my MIL has said repeatedly that if we moved closer she’d nanny for us in a white hot second, and we do rely on them for any sort of overnight/travel-related care. So based on my not-entirely-equal experience, I’ll give this advice: As a first-time mom, I was simply wound way, way too tight to deal with an opinionated family member as nanny, so know yourself. Your jealousy is natural and normal — and while it might feel illogical to be MORE jealous of a family member than a hired caretaker, I don’t actually think it is. Your MIL won’t be getting your money, but she will get that day-to-day emotional experience of bonding with your baby that you’re worried you’re missing out on. You need to come to terms with the fact that you have to work, maybe grieve a little for your lost SAHM dream, and then focus solidly on what childcare arrangement is best for your daughter. Some emotional homework for you, there.
As a second- and third-time mom, on the other hand, I would have been TOTALLY DOWN for my MIL nannying when they were newborns and babies (provided I worked outside the home, that is, rather than from home). I know we would have clashed on a few things (sleep training, sticking to meal schedules, BABIES DON’T NEED WATER OH MY GOD FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME) but I think I would have been chill enough to pick the right battles and let the rest go out of gratitude for the free care.
BUT the arrangement would have had to come to an end once they got older. In hindsight, fretting over her preference to rock my babies solidly to sleep instead of putting them in the crib drowsy-but-awake really isn’t as big of a deal as the disagreements we have now. I don’t really want to broadcast the specific details, but I think we have very similar MILs with similar personalities and yes. The stakes go up, as do the opportunities for undermining, once your kid is verbal and old enough to get confused by Things Grandma Told Me That Mom & Dad Don’t Agree With. The value of free overnight childcare has diminished over the past couple years, because I feel like we end up paying for it in other ways.
So. If I were you, I would probably accept that at this point, going back on your arrangement would be pretty damn nuclear, emotionally speaking, and if you’re due in just a few weeks it’s probably too late to find anything else anyway. So for now, I’d focus on the pros for your daughter and less on the cons that have to do with her just getting on your nerves. (She’ll be spending 40+ hours a week with your baby, but realistically, YOU’LL only be dealing with her a few minutes each day, so…win?) I mean, yeah, she’ll get on your nerves, but so would maybe getting consistently stuck in traffic on your way to the expensive daycare that charges you a fee for every minute you arrive after pick-up. Her constant talking will be good for your baby, and her confidence in her opinions will mean she probably WON’T be calling you constantly at work with endless questions.
I would also sit down with her NOW to discuss the arrangement in more detail, being blunt and honest that while you are hugely grateful for her sacrifice, you are aware this can be a dicey situation that really depends on good solid two-way communication and trust. If she ever feels like she made too much of a committment, she needs to tell you. If there are childcare directives you give her that are different from the way she did, you need to trust her to understand that this stuff changes with time and follow said directives without arguing. Pick your personal hills to die on (basically anything safety or health related), and agree to let the more petty, minor details slide. Clearly define expectations about responsibilities and schedules — will she be willing to do the baby’s laundry and clean up the kitchen, does she have any social commitments in the evenings that you need to respect and be home on time for, what’s the back-up plan for her taking days off (because for real — she’s going to need days off: vacation time, sick days, appointments, etc. ), how much heads up will you need for said days off, and so on.
Your husband should be involved here, too. And you two will need to have a separate discussion about who will talk to her about any concerns or disagreements that crop up.
You might also still consider a compromise down the road — maybe just one or two days of traditional daycare at some point. (Give your MIL a heads up on the plan sooner rather than later, so she doesn’t think it’s because she’s doing something wrong. Be up front that the arrangement will have an expiration date.) You can position it like your daughter will benefit from the social interaction and structure, and because you understand what a huge time commitment she made and would like to give her a little bit of her life and free time back. If the MIL as nanny situation does turn out to be as irritating/undermining-y as you fear, and your finances allow it, you can slowly up her enrollment.
Or if everything is great with your daughter but you just find you just dread seeing your MIL’s face every morning, try to work out a shift plan with your husband — you go to work first, he stays until MIL shows up, then you relieve her in the afternoons (or vice versa).
Keep your options open, but also your mind. There’s free childcare and then there’s “free” childcare. Your MIL has offered a wonderful, generous gift…but for everybody’s sake it’s totally okay to be cautious about it and not just “wheeeeee! free babysitting! I can now never question her or have any opinion of my own because GRATITUDE!!1!” Maybe everything will be awesome. You can’t deny it’s nice to put the daycare hunt on hold and keep more of your paycheck, and having her as a nanny will be 100% more logistically convenient than using a daycare center, and a 1,000% cheaper than hiring a FT nanny on your own. The things that annoy you might have absolutely no negative bearing on your daughter, at least not at first. But if you can’t keep the lines of communication open without your nerves snapping, it’ll probably be best for everyone to explore alternate arrangements.
Alcoholic in-laws want to babysit, parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
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Dear Care and Feeding,
My in-laws, who live locally, are heavy drinkers. They start in the morning and continue all day. They bring flasks to every visit with us. They habitually drink while driving: They show up with roadies and make fresh ones before they leave. They rarely (but not never) get sloppy during these visits, but I know they are drunk. They are also extremely eager to babysit for our now 5-month-old, and the question of whether they can ever be alone with the baby has become a big point of contention in my marriage. My husband (who believes that his parents are heavy drinkers, but not alcoholics) has told them that they must not drink before or during babysitting, and they readily agreed; however, they have continued the drinking habits described above during visits with us even after that conversation.
After much discussion, my husband and I agreed that we will keep any babysitting short and during the day. He refuses to have a franker discussion with them about our concerns, because he believes that they will abide by the rule he set down. I do not. I believe that they are alcoholics and have no control over their drinking, that they could not abide by this rule even if they wanted to. I am already uncomfortable and anxious about the limited daytime babysitting we’ve agreed to—which has not yet occurred, and which is becoming an issue for them (exacerbated by the fact that my parents, also local, have babysat numerous times).
Now we want to go on a trip, just the two of us, after the baby turns one. In an ideal world, the two sets of local grandparents would split the time caring for our child in our absence. But there’s no way I’m ever leaving my kid with my in-laws overnight. I do not believe that they can drink in moderation, I do not believe that they will refrain from drinking for more than a few hours at a time (if that), and I believe it would be reckless to leave our child with people who habitually drink while driving, even if they promise not to do it while he is in the car.
But it was a big deal for my husband to raise the subject about staying sober while babysitting. I have not yet told him my feelings about sleepovers and about driving (never ever ever), but I previewed my position about leaving our son solely in my parents’ care when we travel, and he seemed potentially receptive. Questions: Am I being unreasonable? Should his parents be given the chance to show that they can abide by a no-drinking-while-babysitting rule? Even if they can, is an absolute boundary against sleepovers and driving reasonable in these circumstances? And: Husband wants to go on this trip (and therefore will, I think, ultimately agree to care solely by my parents) but doesn’t want to hurt his parents’ feelings. How do we even begin to approach this while abiding by my husband’s preference not to discuss this massive elephant in the room with his parents?
— Biased Against Boozy Babysitters
Dear Biased,
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My Mother-in-Law Says I Cut My Kids Out of Her Life. It’s for Her Own Good.
My Child’s Teacher is Really Sick. What Do I Tell My Kid?
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My Son Is Holding a Grudge Against His Dad … for Something I Did!
My Wife Is a Total Slob—and Her Justification for the Mess Is Absurd
The question of whether or not your in-laws are alcoholics or “just heavy drinkers” is moot. (Although I recognize that it is not moot to your husband, who does not want to believe his parents could be alcoholics, or to the heavy drinkers themselves, who do not seem to believe they have a problem.) I would not waste energy debating this with your husband, and if he does not feel up to the task of dealing head on with the elephant in his parents’ living room, he is going to have to come up with some other way to explain to them that the two of you cannot leave your child in their care. If he refuses to do this, I’m afraid you are going to have to tell them yourself (and I’m sorry if that turns out to be the case).
Alas, your husband needs to recognize that hurting his parents’ feelings is the least of (any of) your problems. People who drink while driving are engaging in a criminal act as well as an unethical one. People who drink all day long and bring flasks when they visit others will not hold themselves to a promise not to drink for any amount of time. They are humoring their son, since they clearly don’t think there’s anything wrong with what they’re doing; that he does not or cannot see this is sad, but immaterial to your decision-making about childcare. You cannot leave your child in your in-law’s care, ever. If your husband balks at this, you are going to have to stand your ground. Marriage counseling may be in your near future.
I would like some advice on how best to initiate a conversation with my in-laws about their approach to being grandparents. They recently retired, are in good health and financially comfortable. They live not far from us in a large house with a garden, and have the space to look after the grandchildren (we have two young children) for an evening if they wish to. Except that does not appear to be an option.
We have regular (day) childcare, but thought it would be helpful if they could take the boys for an evening every few weeks so my wife and I could go out, which we do rarely. But each time we have tried to set this up, my in-laws have changed their mind at the last minute.
As it seems they are not ready for this, we have stopped trying to set up time with them alone with the boys. Our boys love them very much, and the in-laws do love spending time with all four of us – although I think of them as a bit cat-like; the love always has to be on their terms.
When we got married my father-in-law threatened to cut off his daughter, and not attend the wedding unless she complied with one of his requests. These threats to cut off are not made idly. My father-in-law has form – he no longer talks to his sister and has only recently repaired things with one of his adult children.
I regard him as a controlling individual. I have no idea what my mother-in-law’s influence is; they operate very much as a unit, and I have never spent time with one without the other. Apart from the control, they also appear to be motivated by material things and their home is immaculate. I strongly suspect, although they deny it, that this is behind their reluctance to take the boys into their home.
My wife does not want to force the issue with them. She is concerned that, if pushed, they will withdraw and this will damage their relationship with the boys. She loves her parents, despite being exasperated by them. I want to be able to talk to my in-laws about my concerns like an adult, but my experience of their family dynamic over the 10 years I have known them makes me feel it is unlikely to go well.
It is a brutal moment when you learn you can’t choose your in-laws, you can’t change them and you really don’t like them very much. And while, almost every week, I advocate communication – this week, the word acceptance keeps coming to mind, lit like a neon sign in my head. You are never going to change your in-laws and so I think you have to radically change your expectations of them.
I also couldn’t quite get over your expectation that they should babysit. And I wonder if they sense this and resent it and are trying to keep you in your place without saying anything.
Your father-in-law may be a control freak – you may be, too, by the way, and it may be a case of you butting antlers here. He may be scared of getting it wrong with your children or with you. He may be trying to be “respectful” in a way that seems odd to you. He may not ever have been shown how to “do” emotions. What sort of father was he? There was no mention of that in your longer letter. There was also absolutely no mention, at all, of your family, which I found strange.
One could ponder for hours on the whys and wherefores, and indeed I have – but you started your letter with a question and to help me answer it, I consulted the psychotherapist Marcus West (bpc.org.uk). He wonders if you and your wife might “be able to work through your expectations and disappointment? You may then be able to address the matter in a simple, straightforward manner, asking, for example, whether there is anything you can do to facilitate your in-laws having the boys, and whether it would be easier if they came over to your house to do so (and perhaps for a short time on the first occasion)? This might hopefully facilitate a good, open discussion and outcome, especially if you are prepared to accept, ‘We’re sorry but we can’t manage it’ for an answer. ”
Simple though this is, I think this is the way forward.
What should be a straightforward question has become so locked and loaded that I could feel the tension from your letter.
West says: “Do not start with ‘I want to talk about your grandparenting style’ and, instead, simply try to ask ‘Would you be able to babysit next week?’ Could you do that without an edge?”
Could you? I also think you need to listen to your wife here. She knows her parents best.
You say your father-in-law has form with cutting people out of his life, so I would take that possibility seriously, but your in-laws are happy to spend time with all of you. I would go with that. Things may shift as your children get older – in the meantime, ask someone else to babysit.
I wondered if you examined – beyond the babysitting, beyond your father-in-law’s obsessive housekeeping, and his expectations when you got engaged – what it is that so annoys you about him? I wonder, in short, if he reminds you of someone else.
Contact Annalisa Barbieri, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU or email [email protected]. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence
Follow Annalisa on Twitter @AnnalisaB
10 tips for dealing with in-laws when you have a baby: interfering, boundaries and taking over | Life as a parent articles & support
Dealing with in-laws can be tricky when you have a baby, whether it’s disapproval of your parenting or them handing your child sweets. Here are our tips.
While you might have had the odd awkward moment with your in-laws pre-baby over your plans for the festive season, having a child can cause a lot more. Now they have a new role as your child’s grandparents, they might feel they can interfere in your life more. You’ll also undoubtedly have things you disagree with them on.
Here’s how to deal with it so that you don’t end up having a full-on family fallout…
1. Be kind
If you’ve started going over how much they are irritating you in your head, when or if you do decide to speak to them about things, it might come out in a torrent of resentment. Instead, try to take a deep breath and balance out the problems with all of the nice things they do that you appreciate. No seriously, rack your brains (kidding).
Think about what was positive about their parenting when they raised their own children. After all, they must have done something right to bring up the person you chose as your partner. You might even be doing some of the same things they did (Kidspot, 2017).
2. Make sure your partner leads things
Delivering a message your in-laws won’t like, such as requesting a shorter visit, is much better coming from your partner. If you deliver the message, they might harbour resentment for a long time after this conversation is over if you manage to insult them. If your partner leads things, well, they are their child so they can’t be angry at them for that long (Motherly, 2018; NewParent, 2018; WeHaveKids, 2018).
Do make sure though that it’s clear you and your partner share a united front and this stuff is coming from both of you.
3. Be firm on the things that are important to you
It’s ok to have boundaries. They’re your child.
If you don’t want them to drink juice, watch TV for five hours a day or have the kind of nap that’ll mean they’re awake until 10pm, then you can say so. You can do it firmly and clearly but without being rude.
You have your family values that need to be communicated with your in-laws (FamilyEducation, 2018). If you talk from the viewpoint of your child’s needs, grandparents are more likely to understand and change anything that could confuse your child (Kidspot, 2017).
4. Understand things from their perspective
If your in-laws are doing some regular childcare for you, you may have to accept that – like you – they do the things that get them through a long day with a newborn or toddler.
It might mean your child does watch a bit more TV because your in-laws are exhausted. It might mean your baby falls asleep on the sofa as they couldn’t get them to nap in the cot. Whatever it is, you might have to bite your tongue and go with it.
Some things don’t really matter in the big scheme of things. Think how much help you are getting from your in-laws and what your children are getting from their relationship with their grandparents (Kidspot, 2017).
5. Write down their good traits and read over the list when you’re mad
If you have interfering in-laws, that probably means your child has grandparents who love them. They obviously care about them and may well be up for babysitting on that Saturday in November when you’re desperate to go to your friend’s wedding.
Keep it in your mind – the wedding, the wedding – when they’re driving you nuts. Use your sense of humour and try to gently laugh it off when an in-law is particularly insistent and intrusive (Motherly, 2018).
6. Get examples ready
If you decide you do need to talk to them about their interfering or pushing their parenting ideas on you, have specific, recent examples to hand. Otherwise you’ll start floundering and your points will feel less constructive and more OTT.
If you don’t want your in-laws to look after your child, maybe because they are physically or mentally not capable of doing so, it’s better to clear the issue with them upfront. This might also help you to compromise on something else that will work for everyone, like all of you spending a few hours with your baby together at a park or zoo (Healthdirect, 2018).
7. Don’t enter into every row
If you flip out every time your mother-in-law tells you that smacking, rusks or whisky on the dummy was fine in her day, you’ll probably lose your mind. Instead, walk away and pick your battles: namely, only the ones that actually affect your child, not the theoretical child-raising ones (FamilyEducation, 2018).
Tell your mother-in-law that the method you have chosen does not reflect a judgement of their parenting (Parents, 2005). More than likely, your mother-in-law is feeling defensive that you think her methods were wrong as they differ so much to yours. She’s probably trying in her way to justify herself. Nagging can mean she thinks her advice is not being taken seriously or is being ignored (Parents, 2005).
8. Try not to ask for too many favours
Obviously, the occasional babysitting stint is great. But leaning on in-laws for every bit of help, advice and childcare that you need can make them feel like they have earned the right to interfere. Remember, they also need time alone and they are entitled to say they have other plans (NewParent, 2018).
9. Pick out the useful parts
The tut-tutting about the state of your kitchen two weeks after you had your baby might not have been helpful. Nor was the suggestion that by cuddling your child you’re creating problems for yourself in the future (Kidspot, 2017).
But when your in-laws say something vaguely useful, cling to it and tell them very enthusiastically how helpful that was. What we’re saying here is: throw them a bone (Motherly, 2018).
10. Focus on the joyous parts
Try to steer conversation or phone messages away from how you choose to feed your baby, and towards the cute thing that they did today at the park. Bonus points if you can thank and appreciate your in-law for their help in being part of this, if they were (Motherly 2018).
The one thing you’ll definitely have a shared view on is how wonderful your child is. So if in doubt, stick to the joyous side of things for now.
This page was last reviewed in November 2018.
Further information
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Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.
In-Laws Don’t Help With The Grandchildren? Here’s What To Do
While many grandparents are excited to become the “built-in babysitter” for their grandkids and can’t get enough time with them, some grandparents definitely don’t want that to be their title — for a myriad of reasons. Whether you have a fabulous relationship with your in-laws or a rocky relationship, it’s always tough when dealing with in-laws who don’t help with grandchildren — or even worse, toxic grandparents. Family dynamics and relationships can be tricky things to navigate, especially if the people that you’re dealing with are your in-laws, not your own immediate family. Throw little kids in to the mix and it’s an entirely different ballgame. Experts explain what to do when grandparents aren’t as involved in your kids’ life as you’d like them to be and how to set healthy boundaries so everyone can feel loved, happy, and fulfilled.
Why don’t my in-laws have any interest in their grandchildren?
JGI/Tom Grill/Tetra images/Getty Images
There could be many reasons your in-laws don’t help with grandchildren, or aren’t responding to your child in the way that you hoped, says Katie Lear, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and registered play therapist. Their disengagement could be caused by a not-so-serious problem or a major problem. “On the not-so-serious end of things, it’s possible your child is simply at an age that their grandparents feel less comfortable with, or didn’t particularly enjoy parenting themselves,” she says.
For example, many people find newborn babies very intimidating — especially if you aren’t as physically adept as you once were, Lear adds. “Maybe your child’s grandparent has always had a hard time connecting with toddlers, but is fantastic with older children once they become more verbal and can carry a conversation,” she says.
Consider your own role in the relationship
It’s important to also take your own expectations into account, according to Lear. If your expectations about what grandparents should do simply don’t line up with what your in-laws envisioned, that could be causing issues.
“Many grandparents don’t want to become the default babysitter,” explains Kaitlin Soule, a licensed therapist with a specialty in anxiety and maternal mental health. That may be something that you simply need to accept about your in-laws. “But, when grandparents seem to want little or nothing to do with their grandchildren it can be a painful and confusing experience.”
Why in-laws don’t help with grandchildren
MoMo Productions/DigitalVision/Getty Images
“While we can’t know exactly why a grandparent has made the choice to be uninvolved, we can remember that it likely has much more to do with their issues than ours,” she says. “Baggage or issues they haven’t worked through (i.e. their own trauma, rigidity, addiction, guilt, shame, etc.) are likely affecting their ability to show up for their grandkids.”
If your in-laws call out your parenting style as a reason for their lack of involvement, Soule points out that you don’t have to accept that reason at face value. “Healthy adults are able to put that aside in order to find a way to show up for their grandchildren in some capacity,” she explains.
It could also be based on your relationship with the in-laws, according to Lear. “If there are difficult dynamics in your relationship with your in-laws, those can impact their bond with your kids, too,” she says. Which leads to the more serious end of the spectrum of reasons. “Finally, on the more serious end of the spectrum, you want to rule out any possible biases or prejudices a grandparent might hold that could be negatively influencing how they perceive your child,” Lear says.
What to do with uninvolved grandparents
Don’t give up hope just yet. If your relationship with your in-laws needs a little work, there are ways to work towards repair. “Before jumping to conclusions, take a step back and question whether what you’re really dealing with is a mismatch in expectations, rather than genuine disinterest,” Lear suggests. Ask yourself:
Are you close with the grandparents or in-laws yourself?
Did you spend a lot of time together and offer each other a lot of help before your child was born?
Do you or your spouse recall what your own parents (or in-laws) were like as parents when you were around the age your child is right now?
Could it be that your in-laws are showing affection in unexpected ways or ways you didn’t consider to be ‘love’ at first?
There’s also a difference between not being able — physically, financially, emotionally — to help you out and not wanting to give attention to a child. Again, it’s essential to be sure your expectations are in line with your in-laws’ capacity.
“Parents are so over extended these days and childcare is so hard to come by that it’s only natural to hope that grandparents will be able to lend a helping hand. In reality, not all grandparents will be willing or able to do this. They may not have the physical or emotional capacity they once did to care for energetic little kids,” she says.
“It’s a painful truth, but at the end of the day we can only change our own behavior. While it’s hard, the best thing we can do is work towards acceptance and focusing on the things we can control,” Soule explains.
What are signs of a toxic grandparent?
The question of whether your in-law is a toxic grandparent is a different story all together and would require a very different approach to the relationship. Signs of a toxic grandparent or in-law include:
manipulation
Not respecting boundaries
Gaslighting
Playing favorites
Toxic people usually use manipulation as a way to cause fractures in relationships, Soule explains. When it comes to grandparents, this usually shows up as telling their grandchildren damaging things about other family members. If you notice a pattern of consistently defying the boundaries you’ve made clear — that’s definitely problematic and could indicate toxicity in the relationship.
If you notice that each time you have a confrontation or difficult conversation with your in-laws about their behavior, you walk away feeling like you’re the one who did something wrong, that is gaslighting. “If you choose to continue to have a relationship with a toxic grandparent, it’s critical that you create, set, and hold boundaries,” Soule says.
Whether you need your in-laws to spend more time with their grandchildren or simply hope that they will, clear, non-judgmental communication is key. Taking some time to turn inward and consider your own expectations — and whether or not they are realistic — is a healthy step to take, too.
Sources interviewed:
Katie Lear, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and registered play therapist
Kaitlin Soule, a licensed therapist with a specialty in anxiety and maternal mental health
Note To My Mother-In-Law Outlining Protocall for Babysitting My Son for the First Time
Dear Mom (do not, under any circumstances, tell my mother I addressed you that way),
We’re nervous. I have to be honest with you. My wife (your daughter) asked, “Honey, should we leave a note for her?” and to be the strong one, I told her to trust you. That, Jesus Christ, you are the boy’s grandmother, and so on. The truth, though, is that we’re unsure, which is why you are finding this note wrapped around the liverwurst I know you love so much. My wife knows nothing about this.
I hope you know that it would be best not to tell her about this note. You wouldn’t be protecting me, mind you, but the fragile confidence your daughter has developed thanks to my assurances and tender words regarding your competence as a grandmotherly person. Consider this our little secret.
About the boy: He’s still a little reluctant around strangers, and especially strange women. I know, I know, you’re not really a stranger. But the truth is that he hardly knows you, what with you living more than 250 miles from us and him beginning to enter that ants-in-the-pants stage whenever we take road trips. (You’re not still thinking about moving down here, are you?)
Oh, by the way, whatever you do, don’t flush the toilet.
As parents of the twenty-first century, we’re attempting to raise our son in a way far superior to the methods our parents employed. So it’s important you don’t raise your voice above a level we like to call “concerned.” To help you understand the distinguishing characteristics of our interpretations, I’ve converted the levels of reprimand to a context you will be most familiar with:
1. Hysterical: This approximates the incomprehensible screaming and hurtful words you levied upon my wife (your daughter) when, at the age of three, she attempted to console you during one of your bouts of depression after my father-in-law (your ex-husband) walked out on the two of you. If I’m remembering my wife’s tear-laden words correctly, you yelled, “Get the hell away from me,” and you slapped her. Under no circumstances may hysterical be employed around our son.
2. Irrational: You can think of this one as featuring a pointless rant and futile reasoning. Example: Last time we were up to see you, my wife walked from our bedroom (your guest room, the one with the major draft in the window that I hope by now you’ve sealed up because I honestly could not stand to spend another night in that frigid box) to the bathroom in nothing but her T-shirt and underwear. You told her she was not to walk around the house that way. Remember? She said, “Why? I’m just going in the use the bathroom,” and you said, “I don’t have to tell you why. It’s my house and you’ll do what I say.” May I remind you that my wife celebrated her twenty-eighth birthday earlier this year? Irrational can’t happen because we are making it a practice of always explaining our reasoning to our son. Sure, he’s only two, but the kid’s a genius. He understands everything we say.
3. Overreactive: You know this one well. Perhaps too well. Overractive recalls the moments from my wife’s (your daughter’s) youth when, while trying to satisfy her youthful curiosity about unknown objects around the home, she constantly heard you yell, “What are you doing?” You screamed the words at her like she was eating road kill off your kitchen floor. This concerns me. Our son (your grandson) enjoys roaming about the house discovering new things. Sometimes, he will put these new things in his mouth. Allow this to happen. We’ve childproofed our home, so there’s no need to overreact when our son roams a bit.
4. Concerned: This is the only disciplinary tone that is acceptable in our home. (Please remember, mom, that this is our home.) If you’re in a pinch and can only seem to summon one of the aforementioned disciplinary tones, just recall some of our conversations. I was excited about my idea of my wife (your daughter) spreading her fondness of baking to the rest of our little urban community. I wanted to sell her pecan tassies, raspberry torts, and peach scones out of the house. It might be difficult to recall that conversation since you call here just about every single fucking day. (Oh goodness, did I just write that?) Perhaps you’ll recall this golden response: “I see myself having concerns.” Then you went on to say, “I’m only thinking about what’s best for my daughter and grandson. ” Your concern is heartfelt, obviously, even if it doesn’t include a concern for my well-being. (Remember that time I told you that I never, ever forget?)
One other thing: our son (your grandson) has developed a bit of lactose intolerance. The doctor says it’s normal and temporary, but that we should monitor it closely. Please avoid slicing bits of mozzarella for the boy while you’re cutting it up for yourself. Also, no milk. And (big favor here) when you change his diaper, if you would scoop some of his cute little poopies onto your fingers and feel the consistency, wash your hands thoroughly, then record your findings on the attached spreadsheet, it would be most appreciated. Throw away the little miniature golf scorecard pencil when you’ve finished. I left 100 of them in a box for you next to the toaster.
Our son’s bedtime is 8 PM. You should go to bed soon after that. Try to keep in mind how you get when you stay up all night playing solitaire on our computer.
Holy God, I sure hope you don’t flush the toilet.
Thanks for your help.
With much affection,
Your loving son-in-law (your daughter’s husband)
What standards exist when choosing the perfect nanny for a child
Tatler.ru columnist, lawyer and partner of BGP Litigation Victoria Dergunova shares life hacks on how to find a good nanny and what requirements she must meet.
Finding a good nanny for most parents is a serious problem. The end of quarantine and the now mandatory presence in the office (together with the extension of border closures) has generated a new surge in demand for babysitting services.
Parents are helped by special agencies that provide services for the selection of domestic staff. Their duties include not only searching for a candidate, but also checking his resume. In theory, the agency should make sure that the potential applicant not only meets the professional criteria, but also has all the necessary documents and certificates that guarantee the safety of his interaction with the baby.
However, no one gives guarantees that the customer will be provided with reliable information. It is enough to look at the number of ads in Internet search engines offering to purchase certificates of any sample for money. In addition, the possibility of thorough verification is severely limited by the law on the protection of personal data.
Oksana Pushkina, Deputy Head of the State Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children, took up the task of solving this problem.
What is the standard and how can it be used
Currently, this certification is voluntary. This means that the nanny herself decides whether to receive the appropriate document or not. Having a certificate is definitely a competitive advantage. However, demand is so much greater than supply that finding a certified nanny is not an easy task.
Despite this, the current professional standard “Nanny (child care worker)” can be useful to parents today. It outlines the basic requirements, responsibilities, skills and knowledge that a nanny should have. Parents can now use it as a checklist for checking potential candidates.
What a certified nanny should be like
The standard specifies the responsibilities of a nanny, which are divided into appropriate blocks with a detailed description.
Education
The minimum required for a nanny is secondary general education and vocational training in vocational training programs.
It is important for a future nanny to find a common language with a child and, in addition to natural charm, it is necessary to be able to observe the mental and physical state of children, be able to establish contact and master ways to maintain positive relationships in a group.
Medical certificates
The standard prescribes several mandatory medical examinations: preliminary (upon employment), periodic and extraordinary.
The person who is near the children and provides care and supervision should not expose the child to the risk of contracting any dangerous infection, disease, and so on.
No criminal record
The current labor legislation describes special rules for carrying out activities in areas directly related to minors. In particular, persons who have or have had a criminal record or who have been prosecuted for a fairly broad category of crimes are not allowed to raise a child.
First Aid
First aid training is a requirement. And it is precisely for children of the age with which the future nanny is going to work.
The standard also states that the nanny must have knowledge of sanitary rules and standards for caring for children.
Ethics and morality
Compliance with legal, moral and ethical standards, requirements of professional ethics.
Nanny’s duties
In the same standard, in addition to the requirements for the nanny herself, her labor functions are also prescribed, which are divided depending on the age of the child: infants (up to one year old), young children (from one to three years old), children of preschool age (from three years), as well as separately allocated care for children of preschool age with disabilities (HIA) and children with disabilities.
So, for example, a nanny of a newborn, in addition to changing clothes, preparing food for him and providing hygiene care, should look after him during sleep, conduct educational games and exercises.
A child under the age of three needs to develop the skill of independent eating, organize sleep, and conduct active, educational games in the fresh air.
Job responsibilities of a Certified Babysitter include guiding preschool children to walks, classes, and activities, supervising their behavior when interacting with other children and adults, and keeping facilities, equipment, bedding, and toys clean.
A mandatory requirement for everyone is to regularly inform parents about the well-being of their babies.
Civil contract and ways to terminate it
In groups where parents communicate, you can often find requests to recommend a good and conscientious nanny. In the same groups, one of the most frequently asked questions is a request to share a standard agreement with a nanny. Today it is an ordinary civil law contract. It describes the rules of conduct and duties of a nanny (for example, come to work without delay, maintain personal hygiene, keep the children’s room clean and tidy, children’s underwear, toys and personal belongings of the child; do not leave the baby unattended, and so on.). In this agreement, the parent is usually responsible for payment and additional payments (for joint vacation trips, cohabitation, overnight stays, processing, etc.).
Unfortunately, it is impossible to come up with any penalties, except for those provided for by civil law (unless we are talking about child abuse, the responsibility for which is already established in the law – administrative or criminal codes). So, none of the parties is immune from dishonest behavior. Therefore, it is currently impossible to track negative feedback from parents in most situations.
The application of certain norms and standards to employees of children’s medical and educational organizations does not seem to be something special to anyone. People who every day communicate with the still fragile minds and psyches of children, when they work in an organization, understand that they have a great responsibility. Why, then, when such a person comes to the family, the same rules do not apply to him? What is the difference between a child at school and a child who is forced to stay at home due to quarantine. The answer, it seems to me, is obvious. And the rules of the game should be equal for everyone.
Source – Tatler
what are the differences from a nanny and how to find a babysitter
Nadya Tsvetkova
half went on maternity leave
I returned to work three months after the birth of my daughter.
Up to nine months it was tolerable: my daughter slept a lot, could occupy herself and did not really destroy the room while I was working. Then it became more difficult, and my husband and I decided to hire assistants.
Now we invite babysitters 1-2 times a week for 4-9hours. From November to February, we had eight of them, two became permanent. I’ll tell you how we find them and how much their services cost.
How babysitters differ from nannies
When parents think about child care assistants, they usually think of nannies first. But these are permanent employees, and there are several difficulties associated with them:
Full-time babysitting services are expensive. For example, in May 2020, nannies in Moscow receive 63,651 R per month.
It takes a long time and carefully to choose a nanny, conduct interviews and invite for trial days.
There is no guarantee that you will be able to choose an assistant once and for all.
For a permanent nanny, you need to provide for vacation and be ready for sick leave.
City of Works salary statistics
All these difficulties are not worth freeing parents 5-10 hours a week. For such cases, babysitters are more suitable, or, as they are also called, nannies for an hour. These are people who are ready to sit with a child for a couple of hours. Sitters can pick up the child from the garden, take them to a circle, take a walk, and even go with the family to visit, a beauty salon or Ikea to entertain the baby while the parents go about their business.
Recently, online babysitters have also appeared: they can play board or word games with the child, read aloud or conduct educational classes via video link. But this option is hardly suitable if the child is under four years old, does not speak well or is afraid of strangers.
Unlike nannies, babysitters are invited for one-time orders and only for a few hours. They are chosen less carefully because there is no permanent job arrangement. Nannies and babysitters are like a housekeeper and a cleaning service, a family cook and food delivery, a tutor and online tutors. If you didn’t like the food from one restaurant, next time you will order from another. And if the babysitter did not follow the child well, next time invite a new one.
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Who needs babysitters and why
From the outside it seems that maternity leave is a serene time : you don’t have to go to work, take a walk in the park with a stroller and watch TV shows. In reality, colossal responsibility, anxiety and fatigue fall upon young parents. And parenthood is also associated with constant physical labor: the child must be carried in her arms and carried in a stroller, the house has to be cleaned and cooked more often, dishes and laundry are also added. Therefore, one cannot do without help. Babysitter is an opportunity to exhale at least for a while.
When to invite. In my experience, there are several signs that parents need the help of a babysitter:
There are no close people nearby who are ready to help with the child, or the parents do not want to strain them.
It is hard for parents to come to terms with social isolation and the fact that all the time and even the body is now devoted to caring for a little person.
Lack of sleep affects well-being and adequacy – this is especially true for parents of infants.
Parents do not want to completely give up their hobbies or work in favor of the baby.
The imagination and strength of the parents are no longer enough to make the child interesting and good.
Parents avoid the help of relatives because they impose their own methods of raising and caring for the child.
For my husband and me, the decisive reason was that all our close relatives live in other cities. Parents are already old, so it’s hard for them to come often and for a long time. In addition, we ourselves are embarrassed to force relatives to sit with our child for free. Therefore, for us, the services of babysitters have become a way out.
For what purpose. While the assistant is working with my daughter, I devote time to work. For me, this is not only income, but also a favorite thing, and also a way to keep my mind in good shape.
I asked other parents why they usually invite babysitters. The result was the following list:
Let the parent replenish the resource: get enough sleep, do what you love, go to the gym.
Keep the child busy while the parent is at work.
To entertain the older child while the mother takes care of the younger one.
Take the child to kindergarten, school, club or pick up from there.
Babysitting while adults receive guests.
Travel with the family on business to entertain the child. For example, reading a book with a child while mom is cutting her hair.
From what age. My husband and I started inviting helpers only when our daughter was one year old. But I know that many babysitters are able to deal with younger children too: for example, my assistant told me that her youngest pupil was three days old.
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“I made three times less in the office”: how much a babysitter earns
I don’t have an answer as to the right age to leave a child with a new person. Usually, babies begin to separate people into friends and foes from about six months. But all children are different, so the advice here is the same: try and observe the reaction of the child.
How much do the services cost?
Usually, babysitters quote the cost of services per hour and depending on the number of children. Everyone determines the price of his hour, based on experience, education, training courses, certificates and reviews. But in my experience, the price is not an indicator of professionalism: I had an assistant for 500 R per hour, who forgot to wash her hands after the toilet, and for 350 R per hour, who coped with the child better than me.
Prices per hour for a babysitter in Moscow, St. Petersburg and regions
Moscow
250-500 R
St. Petersburg
250-400 R
Novosibirsk
150-300 R
Chelyabinsk
100-400 R
Cheboksary
100-300 R
Moscow
250-500 R
St. Petersburg
250-400 R
Novosibirsk
150-300 R
Chelyabinsk
100-400 R
Cheboksary
100-300 R
The baby may ask for a refund if the order is not cancelled. For example, if canceled in less than 12 hours – 50% of the order value, less than 3 hours – the full cost. In my opinion, this is fair, because the babysitter calculates his time and earnings, and if he cancels, he risks not finding a new order.
Additional charges may apply for travel expenses, parents being late, and taxi costs if the order is late. Sometimes sitters are ready to help with housework or work with a child as a tutor for a fee.
4000 R
cost the most expensive order of a babysitter
Most often we invite a babysitter for 4 hours and pay 1300-2000 R for this, depending on the performer’s tariff. The most expensive order cost 4000 R: the babysitter came for 8 hours.
Services for finding babysitters
I divide services for finding babysitters into three groups: specialized, general and secondary.
Specialized services keep files of babysitters and nannies, train them, check documents and help resolve conflicts with parents.
Vkontakte group “Looking for a nanny in Cherepovets”
“Nanny, governess” section on the Babyblog forum
Bulletin board of the “Connected with Cheboksary” forum
General profile services help to search not only for babysitters, but also for other professionals: builders, designers, cleaners, etc.
Side ones are social networks and forums where users themselves have created communities to search for nannies for an hour.
Services where you can find babysitters
Type
Service examples
Where do they work
Monthly subscription cost
Checking and resolving conflicts
Reviewed
Specialized
Kidzout, Helper, Our Nanny, Sittmi
Major cities
509-1690 Р
Check documents, train sitters, help parents
Yes
General profile
Avito, Yudu, Yandex Services
All Russia
Free
Performers are not checked, but you can complain
Yes
By-products
Groups in social networks, forums
All Russia
Free
No
No
Specialized
Examples of services
Kidzout, Helper, Our Nanny, Sittmi
Contractors are not checked by the check and solution of conflicts
, but you can complain about
yes
Side
Examples of the
groups on social networks, forums
where
The cost of a month
Free
Checking and resolving conflicts
No
There are reviews
No
Among all, I single out two services:
“Kidzout” – for due diligence, babysitting courses and strict rules. For example, a sitter may be suspended from work on the first complaint of a parent.
“Helper” – for the security service that conducts legal and financial verification of performers. As in other specialized services, all performers undergo an initial check against blacklists, recruitment agencies and other sources. But parents can also order an additional check of the selected babysitter: service employees will check if the sitter had any problems with the law and debts.
How to search
I usually use Kidzout because I have a corporate discount for a monthly subscription in it. I’ll tell you how I’m looking for babysitters in this service, but these search rules are relevant for any resource.
Profile and subscription. Babysitter profiles can be viewed without registration, but in order to invite an assistant or place an ad, you first need to create a profile. It’s easy: you need to enter a phone number or log in through a social network.
Next, you can fill out a profile: write a name, upload a photo, link an account on a social network. Babysitters will have more confidence in the completed profile. To specify information about yourself, go to your personal account and select “Settings”.
/nanny/
How to find a nanny
For parents, the services of the service are paid: you can subscribe or pay a commission for the order. Now it’s cheaper for me to subscribe for six months, but at first I chose a one-time commission because I didn’t know if I would have a relationship with the service.
To contact the babysitter, you need to register: click “Login or register” at the top of the main page Where to specify the name, contacts and upload a photo: “My account” → “Settings” For the first time, the method of paying the commission for the order is
you can start looking for a babysitter. There are two ways: place an ad or find an artist in the catalog.
Announcement. To place an ad, I go to the “Find a Sitter” section and fill out a form: indicate the age of the child, the date and time when help is needed, and the wishes for the order.
In the ad description, I usually warn that I myself will be at home – this may scare some sitters away.
When placing an ad for the first time, it is better to indicate a high order value. The fact is that parents, like sitters, have a rating and reviews. If a parent has a zero rating, babysitters are afraid to respond to his order. To quickly find a sitter and get the first review of yourself, you can offer a high price.
After the announcement is published, performers see it and offer their services and price. When the performer responds to the ad, the service sends an SMS, and a message appears in the personal account that the sitter is ready to take the order.
From the response, I can go to the babysitter’s profile to learn about their experience and read reviews. If everything suits, then I confirm the invitation. If something is embarrassing in the performer, you can refuse it without explaining the reasons.
In their reviews, sitters usually note the character of the child and whether there were any problems with payment. Such a message appears in the personal account when the performer responds to the ad. 1200 R for 3 hours — suits me
Catalog of babysitters. Another way to find a sitter is through the directory. In the “Our Sitters” section, performers’ profiles can be sorted by rating or distance from you. And it will also be possible to filter out only those who sit with babies, special children, several children at once, or who can work with a child online.
From the catalog, you can also go to the profile and study the babysitter’s experience and feedback on his work. To invite a performer, you need to click the “Send invitation” button – a questionnaire will also open where you need to describe the task, indicate the age of the child and the date and time when you are waiting for the assistant.
If the sitter agrees to your terms, the sitter will confirm the order and send private messages for the address, special requests, or details of the child.
You can set up filters in the Kidzout directory: many sitters sit with several children, infants and special children. This is a directory on the Helper service: you can filter performers by distance from you, age, work experience, salary, citizenship, religion, education, knowledge of languages, availability of a car and order parameters In a chat with a sitter, you can immediately discuss the details of the order. This was my first order, and due to my inexperience, I only indicated our address, but I had to ask questions to the babysitter
What to look for when choosing
Before sending an invitation to a babysitter, I carefully study his profile.
In “Kidzout”, as a rule, very detailed profiles are filled out. In them you can find answers to such questions about the performer:
What education, why did you choose this specialty.
What is his hobby.
Why he decided to become a babysitter, what connects him with children.
What are the certificates and certificates that allow you to work with children.
How much do services cost, minimum order cost, cancellation policy and parental lateness.
Attitude towards animals and allergies to them.
Schedule.
For myself, I highlight important and minor points. If a candidate does not pass one of the important criteria, then I do not consider him further. And if everything is in order on important points, I read the reviews and evaluate by other criteria how comfortable it will be for me to invite this babysitter.
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Important profile points. Most of all I pay attention to such items in the profile:
Price. I am ready to pay no more than 500 R per hour.
The ratio of orders and repeat orders. The number of returned families says more about the sitter than reviews.
Medical book and first aid courses. I feel more comfortable when the babysitter takes care of his health and knows what to do if the child chokes or gets hurt.
‘s secondary profile points are more of a candidate’s pluses than my strict requirements:
Passing courses for nannies or children’s animators. From experience, sitters who have taken courses in working with children, or at least were counselors, talk more with the child, know a lot of ways to keep him bored and know how to cope with whims.
Hobbies and education. It is not necessary to study to be a teacher or a pediatrician in order to sit with a child for several hours. But performers who are interested in pedagogy and child psychology get along better with children.
What an experience with children. If the sitter has younger brothers or sisters, he worked as an educator or counselor, I am calmer.
Reviews. I see that there are many meaningful and few negative ones.
Sitters often write about the absence of bad habits, but I do not pay attention to this: of course, a person with bad habits will write that he does not have them. But a smoking sitter – if one suddenly comes across – will be immediately noticeable by smell and voice.
This is the profile of my favorite babysitter
The babysitter went to the Kidzout school, where they teach to build relationships with children and their parents, play, involve, work with manipulations and whims
Every ninth family returned, this is a very good indicator
For those who are worried about whether the babysitter will cope if the child suddenly chokes or gets hurt
This is the profile of my favorite babysitter. Every ninth family returned to her, this is a very good indicator. She also went to the Kidzout school, where they teach to build relationships with children and their parents, play, involve, work with manipulations and whims. If you are worried about whether the sitter will cope in a situation where the child is choking or injured, look for profiles marked “Passed the school of first aid for children”
Reviews of are mostly positive, but I specifically look for negative or neutral ones in order to understand the babysitter’s weaknesses. Alarming signs for me – if he did not follow safety, hygiene, did not pay attention to the child, could not captivate.
In positive reviews, I look for whether the sitter changed before approaching the child, whether he cleans up toys after the baby, whether the family plans to invite the performer again.
In this review, what alarmed me most was that the child was not safe with the babysitter. Sitter did not follow hygiene, but for me this is an alarming sign. It is unlikely that I will choose her for my child. Sitter could not find an approach to the child – it happens. But the review says that she did not really try – this is already alarming
Precautions
The requirements for babysitters are usually lower than for permanent nannies: they have less responsibility. But I am anxious, so I carefully prepare for a meeting, especially with a new sitter.
Before the meeting with the sitter. Here’s what I always do before a sitter arrives:
In chat I ask about health and warn that if the performer feels unwell, it’s better to cancel the meeting.
If the babysitter is new, please bring your passport and medical book. I have no right to photograph them, but I still consider it necessary to verify the data.
I warn you that I will be grateful if the performer will bring a change of clothes. In fact, babysitters already know about this, but it’s better to play it safe.
I invite new sitters for a short period of time – usually 2-3 hours – in case we don’t fit together.
I remove valuables, keys, documents from prominent places.
I create a safe space for play: I close sockets, I check if sharp objects, household chemicals and medicines are hidden, I lock everything dangerous in a separate room.
I know that some families ask the babysitter to bring x-rays, medical tests or a migration card. In my opinion, these are excessive requirements for a person who will come only for a few hours and, perhaps, only once. And also, according to one of my assistants, this is dishonest, because she also has the right to ask for such certificates from her family.
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When the sitter came, I do this:
I make sure that the performer changes his clothes and wash his hands. In general, I make sure that the sitter wash his hands often.
Please show your passport and medical book – for the most part sitters take it easy. The services “Kidzout” and “Helper” store all the data about the sitters’ documents, but they advise you to double-check them. Some do not mind if the customer takes a picture of the documents, but I have never done this.
I do not leave the child with a new person right away. First, I look at whether the performer is adequate, whether he smells of cigarettes, how neat he looks and whether he is practically dressed.
I ask the babysitter about his experience and activities outside of work. This is how I make sure that his words match the description in the profile.
I spend the first half hour with the sitter and the child. If I see that the child is calm and involved in the game, then I go to a separate room.
From time to time I subtly check if everything is in order: I listen to what the sitter is talking about, I look into the kitchen when he is feeding the child. Sometimes I go into the room for a “forgotten” item to make sure that the babysitter is not stuck on the phone instead of taking care of the child. It probably looks ridiculous, but what can I do – I’m so calmer.
Video surveillance
We do not have a video camera to monitor the babysitter. If you consider it necessary to install it, be sure to notify the sitter and take from him a written consent to filming – this is required by law.
At the time of order. If something goes wrong, I discuss the problem with the sitter and act according to the circumstances.
I’ve had several incidents in all my time. Once the sitter didn’t wash her hands after going to the toilet. I noticed this in time and politely said goodbye to her, not allowing me to contact my daughter anymore. Another time I looked into the kitchen and noticed that my daughter was standing dangerously on a high chair, while the assistant was washing the dishes with her back to the child – although we agreed that the sitter should monitor safety, and it was not necessary to wash the dishes. The third case was the most unpleasant: the daughter hit the corner and cut her lip due to an oversight by the sitter. I spent the rest of the time of the order calming the child, but I did not invite this sitter again.
I don’t leave the house during the order and I don’t send the babysitter for a walk – and I’m not going until my daughter at least learns to express herself. But less anxious parents use the following scheme: if the child needs to be left alone with the babysitter on a certain day, then a week or two before that they invite the same sitter several times, being nearby and gradually increasing the time of the order. Each time the babysitter is given more and more responsibility. For example, at first he spends a couple of hours with the child together with his parents, then he walks with the child and his mother. Next time, mom is watching the walk from afar. Then the sitter with the baby returns from a walk without parents, and finally, the parents decide to leave the child alone with the babysitter.
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If you decide to leave your child alone with a babysitter, indicate several phone numbers for communication and ask them to send you photo reports from time to time.
First meeting
I spend the first half hour with the babysitter. For this period of time, I have several tasks:
Make sure the sitter is honest.
Find out his attitude towards children.
Tell about the child, explain the task.
Monitor daughter’s reaction to a new person.
Conversation. First, I talk to the babysitter, but I try not to make it look like an interview or an interrogation. I say something like this: “Let’s chat first: I will tell you about the child and what lies where and what you can do, and you will tell about yourself.” It seems that this phrase relieves the tension that is usually felt at the first meeting.
At first I tried to switch from sitters to you: it seemed to me that communication would become less stressful, but the experience was not a success. The first babysitter immediately said that it would be inconvenient for her. The second and third did not mind being addressed as “you”, but they themselves said “you”.
During the conversation, I watch how the sitter communicates with her daughter: does he show interest in her, how does he talk to her, does he ask anything about her preferences, does he try to involve her in the game. If the daughter has already brought her toys and books, I look to see if the babysitter supported the game.
At the same time, I pay attention to my daughter’s reaction. Usually she immediately shows interest, but sometimes she is afraid of the sitter and clings to me – then I stay with them until my daughter feels safe. For me, this is an opportunity to assess how the performer is coping with the situation: whether he tries to win over himself, how initiative he is, how he talks to the child and how he reacts to his shyness or whims – for example, does he start to shame.
Questions for the babysitter. I have a list of questions, but I never ask on a piece of paper, I just ask 3-4 questions at random and dilute them with instructions and stories about my daughter.
/guide/job-interview/
How to conduct an interview
Here is a complete list of questions for the first meeting:
What do you do? Where and for whom do you study or did you study? Why did you choose this specialty?
Why did you decide to work with children? How did you come to this?
What experience do you have with children? Are there any younger brothers or sisters?
What do you like to do with children? Is there any “crown number” that works with all children?
Is it hard to deal with a child? How do you proceed in such a case?
What is your record for time spent with a child? What did he do?
What was the age of the smallest pupil?
The child often falls and hits. What will you do if this happens?
What should I do if my child is naughty? What will you do? Will you come to help?
What do you do when you get tired of your child?
What is the most difficult and most interesting thing about being a babysitter?
One day the child choked heavily, and I was confused. Do you know what to do in such cases?
What will you do if a child refuses to eat, drink, change clothes, or wash their hands?
What should I do if a child sees me and starts hanging on me?
If another child takes a toy from a child on the playground, what will you do?
If you go for a walk and a passer-by reprimands you or your child, what will you say?
Instruction. Next, I say what I expect from the performer: usually these are two feedings, changing diapers, active games and reading books.
I especially pay attention to games: for me this is the main thing that a sitter should do – I can do the rest myself. Therefore, I leave a lot of toys, books and educational games so that the babysitter has something to do with her daughter and both do not get bored.
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Read, count and explore space: 14 educational apps for kids special kits, for example this one
What, in my opinion, is important to say at the first meeting
Daily routine
What time does the child eat, sleep, bathe, walk; time of active and quiet games; is it necessary to put to bed and what are the rituals for sleep, for example, draw the curtains and sing a lullaby.
Power supply
What and how much to feed; whether the child eats by himself; if you have an allergy – warn about it.
Hygiene regulations
How often to wash hands; whether the child has mastered the potty or how often he needs to change the diaper; where there is a change of clothes in case the child gets dirty.
Safety regulations
What are the potentially dangerous places in the apartment; what dangerous habits does the child have; where you can and cannot play; how to keep the child safe if the sitter needs to go away; what to do if something bad happens.
Things to do
What the child likes to do; what are your favorite books; which activities are preferred, such as active or educational games; where you usually walk; how to distract a child if he gets upset.
Daily routine
What time does the child eat, sleep, bathe, walk; time of active and quiet games; is it necessary to put to bed and what are the rituals for sleep, for example, draw the curtains and sing a lullaby.
Food
What and how much to feed; whether the child eats by himself; if you have an allergy – warn about it.
Hygiene practices
How often to wash hands; whether the child has mastered the potty or how often he needs to change the diaper; where there is a change of clothes in case the child gets dirty.
Safety regulations
What are the potentially dangerous places in the apartment; what dangerous habits does the child have; where you can and cannot play; how to keep the child safe if the sitter needs to go away; what to do if something bad happens.
Things to do
What the child likes to do; what are your favorite books; which activities are preferred, for example, active or educational games; where you usually walk; how to distract a child if he gets upset.
I usually report everything orally so that the babysitter can immediately ask clarifying questions. But so that he does not forget anything, I also give a pre-printed training manual or send it before ordering.
The cheat sheet I give to new babysitters
How to evaluate the work
At the time of order. If we have a new babysitter, then I often listen to what he is talking about with the child, check how he monitors hygiene and safety. I definitely show my daughter in front of my eyes a couple of times to understand how comfortable she is.
The most important thing I watch is how my daughter perceives a new person. If she is naughty, sometimes hangs on me or knocks on my door, I understand that she and the sitter did not get along. It also happens that a child behaves this way when he has not had enough sleep. Then I suggest the sitter to leave early and keep the payment.
Babysitters often forget to change diapers and offer drinks, so I myself gently remind them of this if we cross paths in the apartment. Once I saw that my daughter was left in the chair unattended – I had to pick her up and remind the sitter about the safety rules.
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How to save money on baby diapers?
After ordering , it is also important to evaluate the performance of the sitter. Here’s what I pay attention to:
How is my daughter.
What kind of relationship did she have with the sitter: does she continue to play with him when I returned, or does she cuddle up to me.
What is the condition of the diaper.
Are toys and books removed?
How well the daughter ate.
What did they do and what interesting things happened – I ask the sitter about this.
In what mood is the sitter himself: tired, irritated, or, on the contrary, relaxed and sociable.
My favorite is when, after a visit from a babysitter, it turns out that my daughter has learned something new. For example, one day I noticed that she spoon-feeds dolls and sings songs to them, but we never did that with her. Another time, my daughter learned to say “bye”.
It also happens to be funny: my constant assistant accidentally taught a child to throw a ball at the wall and say with a sly face: “Oh-oh.” In all of these cases, I am deeply grateful for the fact that the sitter helped my daughter through new experiences and shared fresh ways to entertain and develop a child.
These figurines were made by our regular sitter Christina. My daughter now does not let them out of her hands and tries to mold something like
I enter my impressions in a table and give a rating. This helps me remember which sitter I liked and why, and which one I will never call again. Next time, first of all, I will invite babysitters with good grades, and only if they cannot respond, I will invite a new one.
The most important score in the table is the daughter’s reaction. Even if I liked the babysitter in all respects, but the baby cried with her or asked to see me, then we will not get along. And vice versa: I will turn a blind eye to mistakes if my daughter is imbued with a sitter. For example, one of my assistants has to be reminded to change diapers, well, okay – but my daughter loves to play with her.
After each meeting, I update the score: someone’s score dropped from “5” to “2”, and two sitters got “5” after 5-6 meetings
How to find a permanent sitter conveniently, I gradually settled on two regular performers. Firstly, I worry that it can be difficult for my daughter to regularly stay with strangers. Secondly, every new babysitter is still a risk: I again need to make sure that he changes clothes, wash his hands, be able to feed his daughter and be attentive to her. And so that the child calmly accepts the sitter. Perhaps when the daughter is older, for example, at 6-8 years old, this will no longer be a problem, but so far I have no such experience.
In order for the babysitters to agree to come back to me, I try to create comfortable conditions for them:
At the beginning of the order, I give time to calmly change clothes, get used to the situation. Right from the doorway I say: “Sit down, you can hang your clothes and bag here, and change clothes and wash your hands there. Come to our room when you’re ready.”
I don’t interfere with work: I don’t loom in front of the child, I don’t run to every cry, I don’t interfere in games.
I warn the sitter not to hesitate to call me for help or ask anything at any time. For example, I say that I can change the diaper myself.
I leave tea, sweets or fruits on the table and offer to take them in any quantity. If the babysitter came for the whole day, I invite you to eat and rest while the child is sleeping.
I don’t demand from a babysitter what I can’t do myself. I can’t actively read books and play outdoor games for five hours in a row – a babysitter shouldn’t either. Let the child play on their own from time to time and just keep an eye on safety. If the sitter has to spend the whole day with his daughter, I immediately tell you what are the ways to take the child for a while to rest himself.
After ordering, I ask how comfortable the babysitter was, if he was tired and what difficulties he had.
If the sitter and I have a good impression, then I test the ground for the next regular orders: find out how difficult it is for him to get to us, how busy the schedule is, what time is more convenient to take an order and how many days in advance you need to send an invitation. Usually, babysitters ask for at least two days’ notice, but I’ve also met those who are busy a week ahead.
I’m not in a hurry to agree on a regular schedule right away, because I understand that the first impression could deceive. For example, a couple of times it happened that on the first order the sitter showed himself brilliantly, and on the second or third order he somehow messed up terribly or just didn’t like it. But if after the third order my opinion has not changed, then I take the person in turn: I try to arrange regular visits or send several invitations a couple of weeks in advance, keep in touch with him in instant messengers.
Work directly
Some parents arrange with babysitters in such a way that they invite them not through the service, but personally in the messenger – this way you won’t have to pay a commission. But I do not advise doing this for several reasons.
Firstly, in some services the child is insured for the time of the order. If you invited an assistant to bypass the service and something went wrong, the employees will not be able to figure out the problem: they didn’t know anything about the order.
Secondly, if it turns out that the sitter takes orders directly, he can be severely punished: fined, banned for a while or fired.
Thirdly, by offering the sitter this way, you put him in an uncomfortable position: most likely, he is comfortable taking orders through an intermediary and he can always find a replacement order. By agreeing to your terms, he risks his job and becomes dependent on you.
Usually we plan regular days and times: for example, from 15:00 to 20:00 – at this time the babysitter will be free after school or the morning order, and my daughter will have time to sleep. You can also take the days of the week: I usually don’t care, but one of our regular babysitters is comfortable on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If help is needed for the whole day, then I warn about it at least a week in advance.
I don’t ask sitters to lower the price for regular orders because it’s not profitable for them: at the same time, they can easily find other orders at the regular price.
So what? 01/27/20
Tax holidays for tutors, nannies and caregivers are over
Even when we have established a schedule and relationship with a babysitter, I make sure that the child is safe and in good spirits with him. From time to time I check whether the schedule we agreed on is still convenient.
How much do babysitters cost us
On average, we invite assistants 1-2 times a week for 4 hours. For one such order, our regular babysitters charge differently: one 1500 R, the other 2000 R. About once a month we invite an assistant for 8-9 hours in a row – it costs 3000-4000 R. 12,000 R, and for the whole time – from November to March – we spent 35,375 R, plus 3057 R for a subscription to “Kidzout”. I don’t regret the money spent in the slightest: I compensated for it with my salary and managed to unwind, and my daughter learned to communicate with other people and played games that I myself could not have come up with.
35,375 R
we have spent five months on babysitters
Remember
When choosing a babysitter, pay attention to experience, reviews, medical book and course certificates.
Don’t expect the performer to foresee everything and handle everything by himself: inquire about health, remind about hygiene and change of clothes, create a safe space in the house to play, offer help.
At the first meeting, look at the documents, ask about the experience, give detailed instructions.
Do not leave the child alone with the babysitter right away, but observe the child’s reaction and the babysitter’s behavior. Only if nothing bothers you, carefully leave.
Assess the child’s condition after ordering. Ask the babysitter about the impressions and activities of the child.
Don’t schedule regular babysitter visits before the third order.
Nanny in law: how the government will bring child care services out of the shadows | Community TV
Olesya Bida
Since the beginning of the year, the government has launched the Municipal Nanny project. The state is ready to give an additional 1,626 hryvnias ($59) per month to parents raising children under three years old. They should spend this money on babysitting services, or rather, on paying the babysitter’s taxes if she works officially. Whether such a sum will encourage parents and whether it will encourage nannies to come out “from the shadows” – in Gromadsky’s material.
What the government proposes
The initiative, according to officials, should make life easier for parents. For nannies, according to the Cabinet of Ministers, this is an opportunity to officially receive a salary, have experience and, accordingly, retire by age.
In addition to the “baby package”, standard first aid and monthly 860 UAH ($31), parents can now receive another 1626 UAH ($59). They must spend this amount on the salaries of nannies, and they, in turn, will be able to pay taxes from this money. It doesn’t matter if one of the parents will be on maternity leave with the child, or if both will work, the state will still provide funds.
To receive money, you need to find a nanny who officially provides her services and sign an agreement with her. Next – submit documents to the local department of social protection. They will be considered within ten working days, and then they will approve or refuse to pay compensation. If approved, parents will receive UAH 1,626 ($59) per month and will be required to provide receipts for the nanny’s salary.
The government allocated UAH 500 million ($18 million) from the budget for the project, 25 thousand families will be able to participate in it. Although hiring a nanny will be able, basically, families with an income not lower than the average.
Parents’ opinion: there is no extra money
Maria Zolkina’s son is one and a half years old. She is officially on maternity leave, but from time to time she needs to go to work. Previously, she used the services of an express babysitter, who was found for her in a special agency.
“When I needed a babysitter several times a week, I called an express babysitter from the agency. The nanny and her son were usually not far from my work, in a cafe or in the children’s room. It was convenient, there were no questions,” says Maria.
The young mother plans to find a permanent nanny for her son with official registration (for example, with the status of an individual entrepreneur). Therefore, Maria considers the government’s initiative appropriate: “With such a nanny, you can conclude a full-fledged agreement on what her duties and rights are. And prescribe sanctions in case of violation. ”
Maria says that the compensation, despite its small size, will not be superfluous when there is a small child in the family.
“The greatest benefit, in my opinion, from this initiative is that even if it is a small financial motivation, it still exists. And those nannies who want to work officially will have an incentive to do so.”
Nanny’s opinion: the amount is not enough to apply for FLP
Anastasia has been working as a nanny recently. He receives money unofficially, so he refuses to talk about his work openly. By education, he is an English teacher. After moving to Kyiv a few years ago, she began tutoring. Then I thought about the design of the FLP.
“But I understood that in this case I would need to raise the cost of my services, because I need to pay taxes,” she says.
Now the government is proposing: there is no need to raise the price, the amount for paying taxes will be compensated to the parents, and they will add this money to the nanny’s salary. But Anastasia says that there is no benefit for her and her colleagues in this. She is not thinking about retirement yet, and hopes that she will not work as a nanny for long.
“When you pay this tax, it goes towards your future pension. I don’t count on a pension. I want to live now,” the nanny says.
The amount of compensation from the state is approximately 10% of Anastasia’s current salary. And she believes that it is not worth it to register an FLP.
Her parents, her employers, also consider the project unprofitable. They don’t have time to process the compensation, because they work, and they also don’t want Anastasia to be distracted from work.
The formalization of the contract with employers also does not convince the nanny to “come out of the shadows.”
“My employers initially wanted to sign the contract because I was their first nanny, but it never came to that. And now, after six months of work, I do not need a contract. I already know that I am doing my duty. We live by unwritten rules,” says Anastasia.
Will nannies come out of the shadows?
The State Fiscal Service responded to Hromadsky’s request that more than 20,000 enterprises providing babysitting services to parents and about 2,500 nannies are now officially registered in Ukraine. How many more are working “in the shadows” is unknown.
Veronika Rudkovskaya, a lawyer from the Labor Initiatives public organization, believes that the government initiative can help bring this segment of the market out of the shadows. For nannies, Rudkovskaya noted in a comment to Gromadsky, the project is beneficial from the point of view that they will receive a number of social guarantees provided for by labor legislation. But the lack of government innovation – a small amount of compensation. Therefore, apparently, the initiative of the Cabinet of Ministers will work in some regions, and not in others.
An FLP nanny must pay the so-called “single social contribution” to the state every month (in 2019 it is UAH 918 – $33) and a single tax – 5% of income. The government, when calculating compensation to parents, proceeded from the fact that the average salary of a nanny is UAH 8,000-10,000 ($293-367). But, for example, in Kyiv, nannies earn almost twice as much. We think: 5% of 16,000 (800 hryvnia – $29) plus a single social contribution is more than 1,700 hryvnia ($62), and government compensation does not compensate taxes. It turns out that it is more profitable for nannies with “capital” salaries to remain “in the shadows”.
For example, in Vinnytsia, where the salary of a nanny can be as high as 5,000 hryvnias ($183), it is more profitable to get official registration because there is a chance to save up to 500 hryvnias ($18) from state funds.
UAH 1,626 ($59) in some regions is not enough even to cover the payment of a single social contribution and a single tax.
As for nannies working in special agencies, the situation here, according to Veronika Rudkovskaya, is not yet very clear. “It is not yet clearly established what is meant by a “legal entity” that has the right to provide childcare services,” the expert says. Therefore, it is not yet possible to predict whether the government’s initiative will encourage “shadow” nannies to go to work in official agencies.
Experience – 5 years
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: Completed higher education in psychology – I can provide a diploma.
I am currently studying neuroscience.
Work experience 5 years
1. Counselor in a children’s camp
2. Nanny in a family with two children
3. Private kindergarten
4. Work in a day care center for people with disabilities.
I also work with special needs children.
I can provide a certificate of non-conviction, from PDN and a medical book.
I know a lot of developing programs. I can do homework, go for walks, accompany to classes.
from 300 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – look on the map
15 minutes ago
no experience
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: I graduated from art school and pedagogy. Worked at an art school in practice for 2 months. She taught art disciplines to children at home.
I am very active, in winter I skate, ice skate and just walk. In the summer, swimming (she was engaged in 9 years), running and rollerblading
Ready to pick up and drop off children, conduct classes and do homework
from 150 ₽/hour
0 reviews She worked as a teacher in a kindergarten with an average group. I like to play with children, read fairy tales, draw, sculpt. I can pick up the child from school, work out, explain the material, feed, accompany to circles. All my life I live in Moscow, Russian citizenship. I speak English at a conversational level.
from 400 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – look on the map
45 minutes ago
Experience – 10 years car) of a child from 5 years old. Mathematics, English, music (piano). Monday to Friday, no more than 7 hours a day. There are all materials for preparing for school, speech development, initial mathematical concepts, general developmental classes for children from 5 years old. Support for the educational process in English and mathematics for schoolchildren (plus additional classes).
Creative and optimistic, responsible and purposeful, with a sense of humor, an accomplished person. Mother of an adult son, wife. Engineer – the first higher education. General translation training (English) – additional to the first higher. Musician – 8 years of primary musical education, piano. Hobbies pedagogy, psychology, yoga, qigong. I like to create a space of joy around me.
from 500 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – see on the map
1 hour ago
Experience – 1 year
Citizenship – Russia
There is a lot of experience working with children, especially with children with special needs. I have tutor skills
from 100 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – look on the map
20 minutes ago
Experience – 3 years
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: Punctual, I love children, calm, competent, restrained, responsible. I know how to behave in cases of whims and tears, I can easily help the baby with homework and learning about the world, walking with him, playing. A lot of games, developmental games may interest a child if you know the approach to it.)
I am studying to be a primary school teacher (Moscow State Pedagogical University, faculty of childhood, evening education). Despite my young age (20 years old), I love children, so I will connect my future career with them.
from 400 ₽/hour
0 reviews nanny-accompanying. Evening time, 17-1730 so far only Tue and Thu. Southwestern Administrative District. Accident-free experience.
from 450 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – see on the map
2 hours ago
Experience – 2 years
Citizenship – Russia 900ped05
About the nanny: I am a student. University, I have experience in counseling with children aged 3-17 years, the second year I successfully pass the practice at school. I get along well with children, I try to find an individual approach to each child, I know the Mantessori system. I can easily explain homework. Ready to accompany the child to kindergarten / school / sections / medical institutions / cultural events, sit, feed, work out (reading books, educational games, drawing). I am a responsible, responsive, stress-resistant and kind person.
from 200 ₽/hour
0 reviews kind, sympathetic, sociable, I can find a common language with children
from 300 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – view on the map
20 minutes ago
Experience – 3 years
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: Graduated from a pedagogical college, has experience working with children, college practice, preparation for school for a boy of 5 years old, correction of grades in Russian boy of 11 years old, developmental games with a girl of 2 years old, homework with a boy of 9 years old, developmental games with two children at the same time 3 and 4 years old, developmental girls with two twins 2.5 years old, preparation for school of a girl of 6 years old and speech therapy exercises 5 lessons, work in a developmental center with children 3-4 years old
from 400 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – look on the map
13 hours ago
Experience – 4 years
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: I am a student, studying to be a teacher-psychologist, part-time education. I have experience working with children.
In 2019, she graduated from the secondary vocational education “Moscow City Pedagogical University” SPO College “Izmailovo” with a degree in “Educator of preschool children”.
I am active, without bad habits, I love children!
My hobbies are drawing and reading books.
Ready to pick up children from school / kindergarten, spend the necessary time with them (games, walks, drawing, modeling)
from 600 ₽/hour
0 reviews I know how to approach them.
Work experience helped acquaintances in accompanying the child to school and circles, also worked as a nanny in a family with a one-year-old baby. Responsibilities included childcare, feeding, putting to sleep, playing, walking. She did small errands around the house.
By nature, calm, balanced, kind. Without bad habbits.
from 400 ₽/hour
0 reviews She has always loved and got along well with children. I grew up in a large family, so I have experience working with children of all ages.
from 250 ₽/hour
0 reviews0002 Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: I am looking for a job as a nanny because I love children and easily find a common language with them. I worked as a nanny for about 2 years.
Functional duties childcare; cooking, feeding; walks in the open air; conducting educational games.
Personal qualities sociability, responsibility, attentiveness, punctuality; neatness, composure.
Thank you for your interest in my candidacy.
from 300 ₽/hour
1 review
Moscow – look on the map
1 hour ago
Experience – 2 years
Citizenship – Russia
marriage.
No education, only personal experience. But kind, sympathetic, housekeeper, I will always find a compromise in different situations, I don’t drink and don’t smoke. Good speech and good spelling. Studied in due time in ped. school, as a teacher of elementary grades, but did not graduate. I did homework with the child, read, played, sculpted, even drew, taught poetry, songs, carried out personal hygiene, prepared meals, accompanied me on walks, washed, ironed clothes, kept the apartment clean indoors and behind Chinchilla
from 300 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – see on the map
7 hours ago
Experience – 2 years
Citizenship – Russia
About babysitter for your baby!
I am a very attentive and creative person, if your child is the same, it will be super!
Have 2 years experience
Sitting with three children of preschool age at the same time
from 400 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – see on the map
1 day ago
Experience – 1 year
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: Good afternoon!
Experience with two children. Responsible, I know how to monitor children, I know the subtleties of how to establish communication with children. We will conduct developmental classes, prepare for school, monitor the completion of children’s homework and much more, whatever you wish.
Thank you for your interest in my candidacy.
from 300 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – see on the map
5 days ago
Experience – 7 years
Citizenship – Russia
About the nanny: Quiet, I love children, raised children from 2 to 7 years old, accompanied elementary school students from school to the Olympic Sports Complex, waited until classes were over and took them home.
from 100 ₽/hour
0 reviews
From birth, she sat with her sister and brother, and is ready to sit with your child. Ready to work weekends and weekdays after 1800
from 200 ₽/hour
0 reviews
Moscow – look on the map
11 hours ago
no experience
Citizenship – Russia
About babysitter: Good afternoon! I love children very much and would like to try myself in this profession. I have experience working with children as a tutor. Looking for part-time jobs in addition to my main job.
from 250 ₽/hour
Reviews about nannies in Moscow
Anna
August 31, 2022
Hello! I’m looking for a nanny for the weekend! Can you please let us discuss the details?
Tamara
June 28, 2022
I can recommend Alisa as an attentive and responsible nurse. Despite his youth, he has a lot of experience. Procedures are done delicately and responsibly. Thank you for your kind attitude.
Ekaterina
June 23, 2022
I liked Anya’s approach to business, she offered to get to know each other for a couple of hours at first, so that the children got used to it, and during this time she did not take any money. So we did, Anya very quickly found an approach to the boys, and we agreed that 3 times a week she would pick them up from school, feed and put them to bed, because. I am working late at this time. Everything worked out very well for us, the agreement suits everyone.
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invite a nanny to work in a family in the UK
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How to get a nanny visa to England. How to invite a nanny to work in the UK.
WikiVisa WikiVisa.Ru
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3 February 2021, 15:39 9129four
Nanny visa – work in the UK in a family with children.
We are often approached by families and visa agencies to help arrange a visa for a nanny who plans to work in the UK. Unfortunately, there is no such visa for a nanny, there is a visa for a domestic worker, but the rules have changed and this visa for the nanny of domestic workers is not very convenient, there are many restrictions on the category of a domestic worker. . In most cases, a nanny is issued just a tourist visa (violating visa laws, they work illegally in the UK as a nanny). For everything to be correct, you need to apply for a Tier 5 work visa for a short-term job for a nanny in the UK or it is better to open a visa for a domestic worker, but there are also nuances, the chances of getting a nanny visa are also not great. officers recommend finding a nanny inland in England. We are more likely to choose a domestic worker visa for nannies. work visas are more difficult to open in England. Yes, in the UK there are many recruitment agencies for the selection of a nanny, but if the child is already used to his nanny, what should I do? HOME OFFICE and embassy officers monitor this category of applicants and “beat” refusals, you need to be careful with nannies who want to work on tourist visas in the UK, because. can put and BAN. It is easier with relatives, grandmother, aunt, sister can be invited to the UK as a nanny, you need to prepare cover letters, prove why the parents cannot devote time to the child and you need the help of a nanny + finances. Write and ask questions about how to get a visa for a nanny, we will tell you everything we know based on our practice, because nannies work in the UK in Russian-speaking families on tourist visas. The main thing is to correctly and carefully form the documents, an invitation for a nanny and cover letters.
WikiVisa telegram channel https://t.me/wikivisa Chat and quick responses on visas https://t.me/wikivisa_chat
A record number of Britons are late filing their income tax returns.
The Ministry of Taxes and Duties reports that the number of violators of fiscal discipline has almost doubled this year, and attributes this to the effect of the pandemic.
Last week, HMRC announced an extension in 2021 of the income tax filing deadline for all self-reporting individuals. The deadline for submitting the report has been shifted from January 31 by a month, and no penalty will be applied to those who meet this deadline.
The IRS decision was dictated by the extraordinary circumstances of the coronavirus epidemic, and HMRC now says that about 1. 8 million taxpayers have been filed, nearly double the average and a sad record in 24 years of self-reporting.
HMRC clarifies that the waiver of the late filing penalty does not in any way remove the current 2.6% interest per annum for late filing, and this meter is up and running as of today, so it is in the interest of taxpayers to complete all procedures for the previous fiscal period as soon as possible.
The “British” strain of coronavirus has mutated again, and this may affect the effectiveness of the vaccine.
The “Kentish” variant of the virus, which began to spread throughout the UK from the end of December, began to change.
Scientists fear that this may, to some extent, affect the effectiveness of the developed vaccines, but also believe that vaccines are still able to protect the population, primarily against serious illness.
A mutation called E484K has already been seen in the “Brazilian” and “South African” strains. So far, scientists have found it only in a few variants of the “British” strain.
Urgent testing of local residents has also begun in parts of England after cases of the strain from South Africa unrelated to arrivals from that country were found.
The Isle of Man government has announced an exit from the lockdown.
The British Crown Territory was the first in the region to emerge from a general lockdown after twenty-five days of strict restrictions.
Located in the Irish Sea, the Isle of Man (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-55886263) is not part of the United Kingdom, but is a British Crown Dependency; the autonomy of the control system allowed the population of the island to be the first in the region to breathe a sigh of relief after the lifting of the lockdown.
From 00:01 on February 1, the ban on non-essential commercial activities of shops and companies has been lifted on the island, all educational institutions are open, and hospitals have been transferred to standard operating hours. This became possible due to the fact that no new cases of coronavirus infection have been detected in the isolated territory for twenty days.
The Isle of Man is now the only area in the British Isles where social contact restrictions have been lifted. Until recently, the island of Guernsey had such a unique status, but on January 23 it joined the national lockdown.
However, the British will not be able to escape the lockdown to the Isle of Man: the territory is completely closed to non-residents, with the exception of people working in the life support sector (in this case, these are mainly workers in the transport infrastructure connecting Maine with the UK and Ireland), as well as cases of emergency private visits (funerals of close relatives).
What is happening in the labor market in connection with the pandemic and the economic crisis? Is it possible to find a job in the UK now? And what if you dream of a career change?
Liza Maslakova (http://bit.ly/3crfB8N), ZIMA Startup expert, product manager with 14 years of technology experience and founder of the WOJO startup, answers these questions as part of our weekly Question to the Expert column.
Home Blog Expert Blogs Domestic worker visa (in a private house)0004
Purpose of travel for domestic worker visa Domestic Workers in a Private Household visa: nanny, caregiver, cook, personal driver, bodyguard and other domestic staff (short visit to the UK with an employer).
Source: UK Domestic Workers in a Private Household visa https://vikivisa.ru/viza-domashnego-rabotnika/ Follow us: @wikivisa_ru on Twitter | wikivisaru on Facebook
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Not at all Arina Rodionovna | Ufa city electronic newspaper “Ufaved”
In the spring, shocking news spread around the media: in Ufa, a one-year-old child became a victim of a nanny. The beatings were recorded by a hidden camera, which the boy’s mother installed after she noticed the abrasions. And when she saw the “educational process” going on in her absence, she immediately turned to the police.
As a result, the investigation confirmed the guilt of the nanny, the court sentenced her to 3. 5 years probation. And now it remains for the mother to take her son to psychologists. In addition, the child has increased intracranial pressure, which may affect its further development.
Probably, this story has become another lesson for both imprudent parents and harsh nannies. But how exactly to achieve security from a physical and legal point of view? Gulshat Faizerakhmanova, a member of the Bar Association of the Republic of Belarus, will explain to us.
– What should I look for when looking for a nanny?
What are they looking at first? For recommendations. And it is best to use trusted contacts from the circle of acquaintances; you should not particularly trust agencies in this matter. As Moscow practice has shown, any such organization can forge documents and resumes, provide fictitious phone numbers of previous “employers”, which will give the most flattering description. They are primarily interested in making money, and their contract often states that the agency does not bear any responsibility for her actions.
– Is a license required?
– It is not written in the law yet. If the nanny is a private practitioner, without special education and legal registration, there are no violations. Accordingly, they do not pay taxes. But the question can be looked at in two ways. On the one hand, our Tax Code states that any activity aimed at making a profit must be taxed, and at the same time, other laws say that this is not necessary for a private form of activity.
– How to make deals?
– This will be a contract for the provision of services, and parents should draw up an acceptance certificate for it. Sign it in the morning and in the evening: when you transfer the child to the nanny, and when you receive it back. Many now tend to minimize the amount of paperwork and not burden themselves with “excessive” fuss with them. But this is necessary in order to prove later, for example, that the nanny was at home that day. Otherwise, she can simply dismiss the claims, saying that she took time off at all, and you yourself beat the child. Or vice versa, this act can play in defense of the nurse. Well, in the contract itself, first of all, you need to specify the amount of payment, days, hours of work, terms of payment for additional hours. Specify in detail that the nanny is responsible for a certain period.
– There are cases when the nanny was given unusual conditions: they were not allowed to eat at home or sleep (although she had to be with the children for two days). Is it legal? What should an employee agree to and what not?
– First of all, it’s illegal. The first legislative act in our country is the Constitution, then federal laws, civil, arbitration and so on codes. And according to the constitution, no one can forbid her to eat and sleep. Well, write in the contract to bring food in a container and be constantly with the child. Even if the nanny once signed a bonded contract for herself, the clause may be declared invalid by the court. If a person refused to pay her money for violating those conditions, then the court will side with the nanny and order her to pay her salary. But such cases are rare. Usually, the conditions indicate: do not come in a state of intoxication, do not smoke, do not bring friends. This is what the nanny really must do.
– What should be done if, after the visit of the nurse, the loss of valuables, damage to property or signs of beatings on the child’s body are discovered?
– A very serious issue that requires an appropriate attitude of parents. When this happened, you must first of all inform the agency if you did not take the nanny from the “street”. Write a characterization, then contact the guardianship authorities and be sure to write a statement to the Investigative Committee. They will already sort out the fact and make an examination: does the child have any bodily injuries and the like.
– Is it easy to hold an employee accountable?
– Yes, if you follow all the nuances. And in a matter relating to your child, it is better to prepare as much as possible. We need a contract, and an act of acceptance and transfer, and video recordings. Now the court is relying on Article 56 of the Code of Civil Procedure. This is an evidence base, if it is not there, then only bare words remain. However, the nanny must be warned about video surveillance in advance: although this is her workplace, but at the same time – private life. And intrusion is not allowed, so the Investigative Committee can turn the materials of the recording both for and against you.
In court, you will need to contact the police or the guardianship authorities (everything should be recorded). Why guardianship? Because they participate in any statement of claim related to minor children, and they act not as a third party, but as an interested party. If a person did not inform them, did not write a statement anywhere, then his appeal sees its own benefit – simply not to pay the employee. So the nanny should first of all contact the labor committee or the prosecutor’s office.
Is It Safe For My Baby To Sleep On My Chest? – Precious Cargo
A baby peacefully asleep on a parents chest makes for one of the most sentimental and popular photos of our time. Scrolling through social media, you are sure to come across a picture of a parent asleep on the couch with their baby on their chest. Whilst this creates the image of bonding and a content baby, few know the risks associated with it. This leads us to ask if it is safe for your baby to sleep on your chest?
It is safe for your baby to sleep on your chest provided that you remain awake and alert.
This reduces your baby’s risk of suffocation and SIDS as you are able to monitor their breathing and ensure they are in a safe position where their mouth and nose are not covered. Conversely, it is NOT safe to let your baby fall asleep on your chest if you are likely to fall asleep too, due to potential risks to your baby.
Babies thrive on closeness and comfort. Many parents end up falling asleep with their baby on their chest, whether they intended to or not, as it settles their baby and so enables everyone to sleep. Knowing any potential risks associated with this as well as the safety guidelines, empowers you to keep your baby safe at all times.
What are the dangers of a baby sleeping on a parent’s chest?
The American Association of Paediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies are safest sleeping alone, on their backs, in a clear cot/crib/Moses basket. The AAP gives the all clear to have your baby sleep on your chest, however, there are definite strings attached. In order to help reduce your baby’s risk of suffocation and SIDS, it is safest for you to remain awake and vigilant with no chance of falling asleep. This is vital as you are then able to observe their position and breathing and ensure that they do not slip between you and the side of the couch or have their mouth or nose covered in any way. Sadly there have been numerous reports of accidental infant deaths as a result of lying on their parents chest as they both slept.
Since 1994, there has been a huge campaign to encourage parents to place their babies on their backs when they go to sleep as well as making sure they sleep on a firm and flat surface. This is because a baby sleeping on their tummy or soft surface dramatically increases the risk of suffocation and SIDS.
A baby who sleeps on their tummy is likely to enter into a longer period of deep sleep which makes them less reactive to noise and responsive to their environment.
Many will ask if this also applies to a baby sleeping on their tummy on your chest. Unfortunately, a baby sleeping on their tummy up against you still faces the same associated risks. There is no evidence to indicate the risk of SIDS is lessened if you have your baby on your chest while they sleep on their tummy. The main reason for this is that parent’s often unintentionally fall asleep with their baby in this position. A sleeping parent is dangerous for the following reasons:
1. Not only is your baby on their tummy which increases their risk of suffocation and SIDS, but they are also on a soft surface
Their mouth and nose can easily become covered as the soft surface (pillow, cushion, blanket, clothing, bed or chair) moulds to their face.
Younger baby’s often do not have the strength yet to reposition themselves which would make it easier for them to breathe.
2. There is a risk that your baby could become entrapped between you and the couch, as well as the possibility of you rolling onto them or overlaying.
While you may think that placing your baby between you and the couch is safer because they won’t be able to roll off, the reality is that your baby can become trapped between you and the couch.
In addition to suffocation, an entrapped baby can lead to other non-fatal injuries such as broken bones or dislocated joints.
The statistics have shown that sleeping on a couch or chair with your baby increases the chance of SIDS by 67 times and contributed to 13% of sleep-related deaths.
3. Risk of falling off the couch, bed or chair.
What are the benefits of skin-to-skin with your baby?
Skin-to-skin time, also known as kangaroo care, is most often prescribed following the birth of your baby if they are medically stable. UNICEF indicates that this time helps your baby adapt to the outside world and facilitates a bond forming between parent and child.
In addition to this, UNICEF provides numerous other benefits of skin-to-skin, which have been proven, including:
Calming and relaxing mom and baby
Regulating your baby’s heart rate and breathing
Regulating your baby’s temperature
Stimulating digestion and promotes feeding
Stimulates milk production
In order for skin-to-skin to be effective and to benefit from it, it needs to be done for an uninterrupted 60 minutes at a time. The AAP encourages that skin-to-skin contact with your baby is beneficial for the first 12 weeks and should be done as frequently as is manageable. It is still possible and advantageous to continue with it past this time period.
HOW TO ensure your baby is safe when they are on your chest?
While the importance of skin-to-skin contact with your baby is clear, it is critical that you are awake and alert so that you are able to make these observations (as indicated by UNICEF) to ensure your little one’s safety:
Position:
Check to see that their airway is clear i. e mouth and nose are not covered
Watch their chest to make sure it rises
Listen for any unusual sounds or lack of noise
Colour:
Make sure to check your baby’s whole body as colour changes can be subtle
Their hands and feet begin to discolour first
Tone:
Make sure that your baby is not limp or unresponsive
Temperature:
Check that your baby is warm enough but not overheating
Although these observations are meant for skin-to-skin time they should also be used if your baby sleeps on your chest.
When is it dangerous for my baby to sleep on my chest?
There are important contributing factors which escalate the risks of SIDS and sleep-related injuries and can be linked to your baby sleeping on your chest. These include:
1. The moment a parent falls asleep and is no longer attentive to their baby.
A parent who is asleep is unable to monitor their child’s breathing and position of their nose and mouth.
Lying on a comfortable surface such as a couch or rocking chair in a relaxed position makes falling asleep likely. A baby may fall off the couch or chair
2. A parent who is distracted may not be as aware as is needed to ensure the safety of their baby.
3. A parent who is under the influence of alcohol or any sedating types of medication.
4. Sleeping with your infant on your chest whilst on a couch or chair allows more opportunities for potential suffocation, entrapment and increase in SIDS.
Can my baby sleep on my chest while I’m sleeping in bed at night?
The most recent AAP and Lullaby Trust guidelines indicate that the safest place for your infant to sleep at night is on a separate surface which is flat and firm. Read more about what Safe Sleep best practice guidelines are here.
Allowing your baby to sleep on your chest in your bed at night does not fall within these recommendations and can increase the incidence of suffocation, injury and SIDS.
However, UNICEF also adds that falling asleep with your baby on your chest on a chair or couch is far more dangerous than doing so in a bed. Read our article on co-sleeping here
in conclusion
As amazing as it is to have your baby sleep on your chest, a level of caution needs to be used to ensure their safety. If you are awake and alert, it is safe to have your baby sleeping on your chest. But if you are feeling sleepy, it would be safest to put your baby down on his/her back once they have fallen asleep. If that is not possible, it would be safer to fall asleep with your baby, on his/her back, in your bed rather than on a couch or chair, where suffocation, entrapment and falls risks are higher.
The number one question we have as new parents is universal yet complicated: How in the world do we get this tiny new creature to sleep?
There’s no shortage of advice from well-meaning grandmas, strangers in the grocery store, and friends. “Oh, just flip baby to their belly,” they say. “You slept on your belly back in the day, and you survived.”
Yes, you did survive. But many other babies did not. The struggle to figure out one precise cause for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) stumps parents and medical professionals alike. But one thing we know is that we can lower SIDS risk by creating safe sleep conditions.
In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a clear policy statement on safe sleep recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS. These include placing baby:
on a flat and firm surface
on their back
in a crib or bassinet without any additional pillows, bedding, blankets, or toys
in a shared room (not a shared bed)
These recommendations apply to all sleep times, including both naps and overnight. The AAP recommends using a crib or other separate surface free from bumper pads as well, which used to be seen as a safety item — but isn’t anymore.
The million dollar question: What counts as a baby, anyway?
The short answer is 1 year. After a year, SIDS risk drops dramatically in children without health concerns. At this point, for example, your little one can have a light blanket in their crib.
The longer answer is that you should continue putting your baby to bed on their back for as long as they’re in a crib. That doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. If they move themselves into a stomach-sleeping position — even before a year of age — that’s fine. More on that in a minute.
It kind of goes against logic to follow the guidelines — putting the bed in a not-so-cozy environment, away from mom’s snuggly arms, without any comfort objects.
However, the research is pretty clear about the concrete connection between these recommendations and a reduced risk of SIDS, which peaks between 2 and 4 months of age.
The AAP first communicated sleep recommendations in 1992, and the “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994, now known as the “Safe to Sleep” movement.
Since the early 1990s, deaths from SIDS decreased from 130.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1990 to 35.2 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2018.
Why exactly is belly sleeping a problem, if some babies seem to love it so much? It increases the risk of SIDS, but researchers aren’t entirely sure why.
Some studies suggest upper airway problems like obstruction, which can happen when a baby breathes their own exhaled breath back in. This causes carbon dioxide to build and oxygen to drop.
Breathing in your own exhaled breath can also make it harder for body heat to escape, which causes overheating. (Overheating is a known risk factor of SIDS, though sweating is not.)
The irony is a belly-sleeping baby enters longer periods of deeper sleep, and may be less reactive to noise, which is exactly what every parent dreams of.
However the exact goal parents are reaching for is also what makes it dangerous. Belly sleepers also have sudden decreases in blood pressure and heart rate control.
Basically, it’s kind of safe that a baby comes into lighter sleep frequently and doesn’t seem to go into that uninterrupted sleep cycle we want for them (and for their tired parents).
Myths, busted
One lingering myth is that if you put a baby on their back, they’ll aspirate their own vomit and not be able to breathe. This has been disproven — and there may even be some additional health benefits to back sleeping, such as lowered risks for ear infections, stuffy noses, and fever.
Parents also worry about muscular development and flat spots on the head, but daily tummy time helps combat both concerns.
Like we mentioned, the guidelines recommend you continue to put your baby to sleep on their back until age 1, even though around 6 months old — or even earlier — they’ll be able to roll over both ways naturally. Once this happens, it’s generally OK to let your little one sleep in this position.
This typically lines up with an age in which the peak of SIDS has passed, although there continues to be some risk until age 1.
To be safe, your baby should be rolling over consistently in both directions, tummy to back and back to tummy, before you start leaving them in their preferred sleeping position.
If they aren’t consistently and intentionally rolling yet but somehow end up on their tummy while sleeping, then yes, hard as it is — you need to gently put them back on their back. Hopefully they won’t stir too much.
Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of “Happiest Baby on the Block,” has become a vocal advocate for safe sleep, while educating parents on helpful tips to actually accomplish a (semi) restful night.
Swaddling — encouraged by Karp and others — mimics the tight quarters in the womb, and may also help prevent babies from startling themselves awake during their sleep.
A note on safe swaddling
Swaddling has become popular (again) lately, but there are some concerns — such has overheating and hip problems — if done incorrectly. In addition to always placing a swaddled baby on their back in a safe sleep environment free of blankets, pillows, and toys, follow these guidelines:
Stop swaddling once baby can roll over or use a sleep sack that allows the arms to be free.
Know the signs of overheating (quick breathing, flushed skin, sweat) and avoiding swaddling in warmer weather.
Check that you can fit three fingers between your baby’s chest and the swaddle.
In addition, Karp recommends using loud, rumbling sounds to imitate the womb with a sound machine for naps and sleep.
He has found the side and stomach position to be soothing to babies, and will hold them in those positions while swaying, swinging, and shushing them (but not for actual sleep).
Karp’s methods show how the stomach position, along with his other tricks, activate a calming mechanisms in babies that are up to 3 months old, explaining why some babies would just love to sleep on their stomachs. But once your baby is in a calm, sleepy state, put them to bed on their back.
Talk with your healthcare provider
We don’t really know how many parents put their babies to sleep on their tummies, because it seems to be a secret that people are hesitant to discuss with each other. But online forums suggest it may be a lot.
You’re tired — and that’s a big deal that shouldn’t be ignored — but unfortunately, how baby seems to sleep best isn’t best if it means tummy sleeping before they can roll over (both ways) on their own.
Your doctor is there to help. Talk with them about your frustrations — they can provide tips and tools so that you and baby can both sleep better and with peace of mind.
In theory, if you’re awake and alert, allowing your little one to nap on your chest isn’t inherently harmful, as long as there is no risk of you falling asleep or being too distracted in any way to ensure a safe situation.
But let’s be honest — as parents of newborns, we’re always prone to nodding off. And baby can roll off of you in an unexpected second.
Other ways parents can help to ensure safety during sleep are:
use a pacifier
breastfeed if possible
ensure baby isn’t overheated
keep baby in your room (but not in your bed) for the first year of life
Safety note
Sleep positioners and wedges are not recommended while feeding or sleeping. These padded risers are intended to keep your baby’s head and body in one position, but are not recommended by the Food and Drug Administration due to the risk of SIDS.
Stomach sleeping is fine if your little one gets themselves into that position after being put to sleep on their back in a safe environment — and after proving to you that they can consistently roll both ways.
Before baby hits this milestone, though, the research is clear: They should sleep on their back.
This can be hard at 2 a. m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you.
When It’s Safe and When It’s Not
The number one question we have as new parents is universal yet complicated: How in the world do we get this tiny new creature to sleep?
There’s no shortage of advice from well-meaning grandmas, strangers in the grocery store, and friends. “Oh, just flip baby to their belly,” they say. “You slept on your belly back in the day, and you survived.”
Yes, you did survive. But many other babies did not. The struggle to figure out one precise cause for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) stumps parents and medical professionals alike. But one thing we know is that we can lower SIDS risk by creating safe sleep conditions.
In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a clear policy statement on safe sleep recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS. These include placing baby:
on a flat and firm surface
on their back
in a crib or bassinet without any additional pillows, bedding, blankets, or toys
in a shared room (not a shared bed)
These recommendations apply to all sleep times, including both naps and overnight. The AAP recommends using a crib or other separate surface free from bumper pads as well, which used to be seen as a safety item — but isn’t anymore.
The million dollar question: What counts as a baby, anyway?
The short answer is 1 year. After a year, SIDS risk drops dramatically in children without health concerns. At this point, for example, your little one can have a light blanket in their crib.
The longer answer is that you should continue putting your baby to bed on their back for as long as they’re in a crib. That doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. If they move themselves into a stomach-sleeping position — even before a year of age — that’s fine. More on that in a minute.
It kind of goes against logic to follow the guidelines — putting the bed in a not-so-cozy environment, away from mom’s snuggly arms, without any comfort objects.
However, the research is pretty clear about the concrete connection between these recommendations and a reduced risk of SIDS, which peaks between 2 and 4 months of age.
The AAP first communicated sleep recommendations in 1992, and the “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994, now known as the “Safe to Sleep” movement.
Since the early 1990s, deaths from SIDS decreased from 130.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1990 to 35.2 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2018.
Why exactly is belly sleeping a problem, if some babies seem to love it so much? It increases the risk of SIDS, but researchers aren’t entirely sure why.
Some studies suggest upper airway problems like obstruction, which can happen when a baby breathes their own exhaled breath back in. This causes carbon dioxide to build and oxygen to drop.
Breathing in your own exhaled breath can also make it harder for body heat to escape, which causes overheating. (Overheating is a known risk factor of SIDS, though sweating is not.)
The irony is a belly-sleeping baby enters longer periods of deeper sleep, and may be less reactive to noise, which is exactly what every parent dreams of.
However the exact goal parents are reaching for is also what makes it dangerous. Belly sleepers also have sudden decreases in blood pressure and heart rate control.
Basically, it’s kind of safe that a baby comes into lighter sleep frequently and doesn’t seem to go into that uninterrupted sleep cycle we want for them (and for their tired parents).
Myths, busted
One lingering myth is that if you put a baby on their back, they’ll aspirate their own vomit and not be able to breathe. This has been disproven — and there may even be some additional health benefits to back sleeping, such as lowered risks for ear infections, stuffy noses, and fever.
Parents also worry about muscular development and flat spots on the head, but daily tummy time helps combat both concerns.
Like we mentioned, the guidelines recommend you continue to put your baby to sleep on their back until age 1, even though around 6 months old — or even earlier — they’ll be able to roll over both ways naturally. Once this happens, it’s generally OK to let your little one sleep in this position.
This typically lines up with an age in which the peak of SIDS has passed, although there continues to be some risk until age 1.
To be safe, your baby should be rolling over consistently in both directions, tummy to back and back to tummy, before you start leaving them in their preferred sleeping position.
If they aren’t consistently and intentionally rolling yet but somehow end up on their tummy while sleeping, then yes, hard as it is — you need to gently put them back on their back. Hopefully they won’t stir too much.
Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of “Happiest Baby on the Block,” has become a vocal advocate for safe sleep, while educating parents on helpful tips to actually accomplish a (semi) restful night.
Swaddling — encouraged by Karp and others — mimics the tight quarters in the womb, and may also help prevent babies from startling themselves awake during their sleep.
A note on safe swaddling
Swaddling has become popular (again) lately, but there are some concerns — such has overheating and hip problems — if done incorrectly. In addition to always placing a swaddled baby on their back in a safe sleep environment free of blankets, pillows, and toys, follow these guidelines:
Stop swaddling once baby can roll over or use a sleep sack that allows the arms to be free.
Know the signs of overheating (quick breathing, flushed skin, sweat) and avoiding swaddling in warmer weather.
Check that you can fit three fingers between your baby’s chest and the swaddle.
In addition, Karp recommends using loud, rumbling sounds to imitate the womb with a sound machine for naps and sleep.
He has found the side and stomach position to be soothing to babies, and will hold them in those positions while swaying, swinging, and shushing them (but not for actual sleep).
Karp’s methods show how the stomach position, along with his other tricks, activate a calming mechanisms in babies that are up to 3 months old, explaining why some babies would just love to sleep on their stomachs. But once your baby is in a calm, sleepy state, put them to bed on their back.
Talk with your healthcare provider
We don’t really know how many parents put their babies to sleep on their tummies, because it seems to be a secret that people are hesitant to discuss with each other. But online forums suggest it may be a lot.
You’re tired — and that’s a big deal that shouldn’t be ignored — but unfortunately, how baby seems to sleep best isn’t best if it means tummy sleeping before they can roll over (both ways) on their own.
Your doctor is there to help. Talk with them about your frustrations — they can provide tips and tools so that you and baby can both sleep better and with peace of mind.
In theory, if you’re awake and alert, allowing your little one to nap on your chest isn’t inherently harmful, as long as there is no risk of you falling asleep or being too distracted in any way to ensure a safe situation.
But let’s be honest — as parents of newborns, we’re always prone to nodding off. And baby can roll off of you in an unexpected second.
Other ways parents can help to ensure safety during sleep are:
use a pacifier
breastfeed if possible
ensure baby isn’t overheated
keep baby in your room (but not in your bed) for the first year of life
Safety note
Sleep positioners and wedges are not recommended while feeding or sleeping. These padded risers are intended to keep your baby’s head and body in one position, but are not recommended by the Food and Drug Administration due to the risk of SIDS.
Stomach sleeping is fine if your little one gets themselves into that position after being put to sleep on their back in a safe environment — and after proving to you that they can consistently roll both ways.
Before baby hits this milestone, though, the research is clear: They should sleep on their back.
This can be hard at 2 a. m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you.
When It’s Safe and When It’s Not
The number one question we have as new parents is universal yet complicated: How in the world do we get this tiny new creature to sleep?
There’s no shortage of advice from well-meaning grandmas, strangers in the grocery store, and friends. “Oh, just flip baby to their belly,” they say. “You slept on your belly back in the day, and you survived.”
Yes, you did survive. But many other babies did not. The struggle to figure out one precise cause for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) stumps parents and medical professionals alike. But one thing we know is that we can lower SIDS risk by creating safe sleep conditions.
In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a clear policy statement on safe sleep recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS. These include placing baby:
on a flat and firm surface
on their back
in a crib or bassinet without any additional pillows, bedding, blankets, or toys
in a shared room (not a shared bed)
These recommendations apply to all sleep times, including both naps and overnight. The AAP recommends using a crib or other separate surface free from bumper pads as well, which used to be seen as a safety item — but isn’t anymore.
The million dollar question: What counts as a baby, anyway?
The short answer is 1 year. After a year, SIDS risk drops dramatically in children without health concerns. At this point, for example, your little one can have a light blanket in their crib.
The longer answer is that you should continue putting your baby to bed on their back for as long as they’re in a crib. That doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. If they move themselves into a stomach-sleeping position — even before a year of age — that’s fine. More on that in a minute.
It kind of goes against logic to follow the guidelines — putting the bed in a not-so-cozy environment, away from mom’s snuggly arms, without any comfort objects.
However, the research is pretty clear about the concrete connection between these recommendations and a reduced risk of SIDS, which peaks between 2 and 4 months of age.
The AAP first communicated sleep recommendations in 1992, and the “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994, now known as the “Safe to Sleep” movement.
Since the early 1990s, deaths from SIDS decreased from 130.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1990 to 35.2 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2018.
Why exactly is belly sleeping a problem, if some babies seem to love it so much? It increases the risk of SIDS, but researchers aren’t entirely sure why.
Some studies suggest upper airway problems like obstruction, which can happen when a baby breathes their own exhaled breath back in. This causes carbon dioxide to build and oxygen to drop.
Breathing in your own exhaled breath can also make it harder for body heat to escape, which causes overheating. (Overheating is a known risk factor of SIDS, though sweating is not.)
The irony is a belly-sleeping baby enters longer periods of deeper sleep, and may be less reactive to noise, which is exactly what every parent dreams of.
However the exact goal parents are reaching for is also what makes it dangerous. Belly sleepers also have sudden decreases in blood pressure and heart rate control.
Basically, it’s kind of safe that a baby comes into lighter sleep frequently and doesn’t seem to go into that uninterrupted sleep cycle we want for them (and for their tired parents).
Myths, busted
One lingering myth is that if you put a baby on their back, they’ll aspirate their own vomit and not be able to breathe. This has been disproven — and there may even be some additional health benefits to back sleeping, such as lowered risks for ear infections, stuffy noses, and fever.
Parents also worry about muscular development and flat spots on the head, but daily tummy time helps combat both concerns.
Like we mentioned, the guidelines recommend you continue to put your baby to sleep on their back until age 1, even though around 6 months old — or even earlier — they’ll be able to roll over both ways naturally. Once this happens, it’s generally OK to let your little one sleep in this position.
This typically lines up with an age in which the peak of SIDS has passed, although there continues to be some risk until age 1.
To be safe, your baby should be rolling over consistently in both directions, tummy to back and back to tummy, before you start leaving them in their preferred sleeping position.
If they aren’t consistently and intentionally rolling yet but somehow end up on their tummy while sleeping, then yes, hard as it is — you need to gently put them back on their back. Hopefully they won’t stir too much.
Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of “Happiest Baby on the Block,” has become a vocal advocate for safe sleep, while educating parents on helpful tips to actually accomplish a (semi) restful night.
Swaddling — encouraged by Karp and others — mimics the tight quarters in the womb, and may also help prevent babies from startling themselves awake during their sleep.
A note on safe swaddling
Swaddling has become popular (again) lately, but there are some concerns — such has overheating and hip problems — if done incorrectly. In addition to always placing a swaddled baby on their back in a safe sleep environment free of blankets, pillows, and toys, follow these guidelines:
Stop swaddling once baby can roll over or use a sleep sack that allows the arms to be free.
Know the signs of overheating (quick breathing, flushed skin, sweat) and avoiding swaddling in warmer weather.
Check that you can fit three fingers between your baby’s chest and the swaddle.
In addition, Karp recommends using loud, rumbling sounds to imitate the womb with a sound machine for naps and sleep.
He has found the side and stomach position to be soothing to babies, and will hold them in those positions while swaying, swinging, and shushing them (but not for actual sleep).
Karp’s methods show how the stomach position, along with his other tricks, activate a calming mechanisms in babies that are up to 3 months old, explaining why some babies would just love to sleep on their stomachs. But once your baby is in a calm, sleepy state, put them to bed on their back.
Talk with your healthcare provider
We don’t really know how many parents put their babies to sleep on their tummies, because it seems to be a secret that people are hesitant to discuss with each other. But online forums suggest it may be a lot.
You’re tired — and that’s a big deal that shouldn’t be ignored — but unfortunately, how baby seems to sleep best isn’t best if it means tummy sleeping before they can roll over (both ways) on their own.
Your doctor is there to help. Talk with them about your frustrations — they can provide tips and tools so that you and baby can both sleep better and with peace of mind.
In theory, if you’re awake and alert, allowing your little one to nap on your chest isn’t inherently harmful, as long as there is no risk of you falling asleep or being too distracted in any way to ensure a safe situation.
But let’s be honest — as parents of newborns, we’re always prone to nodding off. And baby can roll off of you in an unexpected second.
Other ways parents can help to ensure safety during sleep are:
use a pacifier
breastfeed if possible
ensure baby isn’t overheated
keep baby in your room (but not in your bed) for the first year of life
Safety note
Sleep positioners and wedges are not recommended while feeding or sleeping. These padded risers are intended to keep your baby’s head and body in one position, but are not recommended by the Food and Drug Administration due to the risk of SIDS.
Stomach sleeping is fine if your little one gets themselves into that position after being put to sleep on their back in a safe environment — and after proving to you that they can consistently roll both ways.
Before baby hits this milestone, though, the research is clear: They should sleep on their back.
This can be hard at 2 a. m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you.
When It’s Safe and When It’s Not
The number one question we have as new parents is universal yet complicated: How in the world do we get this tiny new creature to sleep?
There’s no shortage of advice from well-meaning grandmas, strangers in the grocery store, and friends. “Oh, just flip baby to their belly,” they say. “You slept on your belly back in the day, and you survived.”
Yes, you did survive. But many other babies did not. The struggle to figure out one precise cause for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) stumps parents and medical professionals alike. But one thing we know is that we can lower SIDS risk by creating safe sleep conditions.
In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a clear policy statement on safe sleep recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS. These include placing baby:
on a flat and firm surface
on their back
in a crib or bassinet without any additional pillows, bedding, blankets, or toys
in a shared room (not a shared bed)
These recommendations apply to all sleep times, including both naps and overnight. The AAP recommends using a crib or other separate surface free from bumper pads as well, which used to be seen as a safety item — but isn’t anymore.
The million dollar question: What counts as a baby, anyway?
The short answer is 1 year. After a year, SIDS risk drops dramatically in children without health concerns. At this point, for example, your little one can have a light blanket in their crib.
The longer answer is that you should continue putting your baby to bed on their back for as long as they’re in a crib. That doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. If they move themselves into a stomach-sleeping position — even before a year of age — that’s fine. More on that in a minute.
It kind of goes against logic to follow the guidelines — putting the bed in a not-so-cozy environment, away from mom’s snuggly arms, without any comfort objects.
However, the research is pretty clear about the concrete connection between these recommendations and a reduced risk of SIDS, which peaks between 2 and 4 months of age.
The AAP first communicated sleep recommendations in 1992, and the “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994, now known as the “Safe to Sleep” movement.
Since the early 1990s, deaths from SIDS decreased from 130.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1990 to 35.2 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2018.
Why exactly is belly sleeping a problem, if some babies seem to love it so much? It increases the risk of SIDS, but researchers aren’t entirely sure why.
Some studies suggest upper airway problems like obstruction, which can happen when a baby breathes their own exhaled breath back in. This causes carbon dioxide to build and oxygen to drop.
Breathing in your own exhaled breath can also make it harder for body heat to escape, which causes overheating. (Overheating is a known risk factor of SIDS, though sweating is not.)
The irony is a belly-sleeping baby enters longer periods of deeper sleep, and may be less reactive to noise, which is exactly what every parent dreams of.
However the exact goal parents are reaching for is also what makes it dangerous. Belly sleepers also have sudden decreases in blood pressure and heart rate control.
Basically, it’s kind of safe that a baby comes into lighter sleep frequently and doesn’t seem to go into that uninterrupted sleep cycle we want for them (and for their tired parents).
Myths, busted
One lingering myth is that if you put a baby on their back, they’ll aspirate their own vomit and not be able to breathe. This has been disproven — and there may even be some additional health benefits to back sleeping, such as lowered risks for ear infections, stuffy noses, and fever.
Parents also worry about muscular development and flat spots on the head, but daily tummy time helps combat both concerns.
Like we mentioned, the guidelines recommend you continue to put your baby to sleep on their back until age 1, even though around 6 months old — or even earlier — they’ll be able to roll over both ways naturally. Once this happens, it’s generally OK to let your little one sleep in this position.
This typically lines up with an age in which the peak of SIDS has passed, although there continues to be some risk until age 1.
To be safe, your baby should be rolling over consistently in both directions, tummy to back and back to tummy, before you start leaving them in their preferred sleeping position.
If they aren’t consistently and intentionally rolling yet but somehow end up on their tummy while sleeping, then yes, hard as it is — you need to gently put them back on their back. Hopefully they won’t stir too much.
Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of “Happiest Baby on the Block,” has become a vocal advocate for safe sleep, while educating parents on helpful tips to actually accomplish a (semi) restful night.
Swaddling — encouraged by Karp and others — mimics the tight quarters in the womb, and may also help prevent babies from startling themselves awake during their sleep.
A note on safe swaddling
Swaddling has become popular (again) lately, but there are some concerns — such has overheating and hip problems — if done incorrectly. In addition to always placing a swaddled baby on their back in a safe sleep environment free of blankets, pillows, and toys, follow these guidelines:
Stop swaddling once baby can roll over or use a sleep sack that allows the arms to be free.
Know the signs of overheating (quick breathing, flushed skin, sweat) and avoiding swaddling in warmer weather.
Check that you can fit three fingers between your baby’s chest and the swaddle.
In addition, Karp recommends using loud, rumbling sounds to imitate the womb with a sound machine for naps and sleep.
He has found the side and stomach position to be soothing to babies, and will hold them in those positions while swaying, swinging, and shushing them (but not for actual sleep).
Karp’s methods show how the stomach position, along with his other tricks, activate a calming mechanisms in babies that are up to 3 months old, explaining why some babies would just love to sleep on their stomachs. But once your baby is in a calm, sleepy state, put them to bed on their back.
Talk with your healthcare provider
We don’t really know how many parents put their babies to sleep on their tummies, because it seems to be a secret that people are hesitant to discuss with each other. But online forums suggest it may be a lot.
You’re tired — and that’s a big deal that shouldn’t be ignored — but unfortunately, how baby seems to sleep best isn’t best if it means tummy sleeping before they can roll over (both ways) on their own.
Your doctor is there to help. Talk with them about your frustrations — they can provide tips and tools so that you and baby can both sleep better and with peace of mind.
In theory, if you’re awake and alert, allowing your little one to nap on your chest isn’t inherently harmful, as long as there is no risk of you falling asleep or being too distracted in any way to ensure a safe situation.
But let’s be honest — as parents of newborns, we’re always prone to nodding off. And baby can roll off of you in an unexpected second.
Other ways parents can help to ensure safety during sleep are:
use a pacifier
breastfeed if possible
ensure baby isn’t overheated
keep baby in your room (but not in your bed) for the first year of life
Safety note
Sleep positioners and wedges are not recommended while feeding or sleeping. These padded risers are intended to keep your baby’s head and body in one position, but are not recommended by the Food and Drug Administration due to the risk of SIDS.
Stomach sleeping is fine if your little one gets themselves into that position after being put to sleep on their back in a safe environment — and after proving to you that they can consistently roll both ways.
Before baby hits this milestone, though, the research is clear: They should sleep on their back.
This can be hard at 2 a. m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you.
When It’s Safe and When It’s Not
The number one question we have as new parents is universal yet complicated: How in the world do we get this tiny new creature to sleep?
There’s no shortage of advice from well-meaning grandmas, strangers in the grocery store, and friends. “Oh, just flip baby to their belly,” they say. “You slept on your belly back in the day, and you survived.”
Yes, you did survive. But many other babies did not. The struggle to figure out one precise cause for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) stumps parents and medical professionals alike. But one thing we know is that we can lower SIDS risk by creating safe sleep conditions.
In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a clear policy statement on safe sleep recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS. These include placing baby:
on a flat and firm surface
on their back
in a crib or bassinet without any additional pillows, bedding, blankets, or toys
in a shared room (not a shared bed)
These recommendations apply to all sleep times, including both naps and overnight. The AAP recommends using a crib or other separate surface free from bumper pads as well, which used to be seen as a safety item — but isn’t anymore.
The million dollar question: What counts as a baby, anyway?
The short answer is 1 year. After a year, SIDS risk drops dramatically in children without health concerns. At this point, for example, your little one can have a light blanket in their crib.
The longer answer is that you should continue putting your baby to bed on their back for as long as they’re in a crib. That doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. If they move themselves into a stomach-sleeping position — even before a year of age — that’s fine. More on that in a minute.
It kind of goes against logic to follow the guidelines — putting the bed in a not-so-cozy environment, away from mom’s snuggly arms, without any comfort objects.
However, the research is pretty clear about the concrete connection between these recommendations and a reduced risk of SIDS, which peaks between 2 and 4 months of age.
The AAP first communicated sleep recommendations in 1992, and the “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994, now known as the “Safe to Sleep” movement.
Since the early 1990s, deaths from SIDS decreased from 130.3 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1990 to 35.2 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2018.
Why exactly is belly sleeping a problem, if some babies seem to love it so much? It increases the risk of SIDS, but researchers aren’t entirely sure why.
Some studies suggest upper airway problems like obstruction, which can happen when a baby breathes their own exhaled breath back in. This causes carbon dioxide to build and oxygen to drop.
Breathing in your own exhaled breath can also make it harder for body heat to escape, which causes overheating. (Overheating is a known risk factor of SIDS, though sweating is not.)
The irony is a belly-sleeping baby enters longer periods of deeper sleep, and may be less reactive to noise, which is exactly what every parent dreams of.
However the exact goal parents are reaching for is also what makes it dangerous. Belly sleepers also have sudden decreases in blood pressure and heart rate control.
Basically, it’s kind of safe that a baby comes into lighter sleep frequently and doesn’t seem to go into that uninterrupted sleep cycle we want for them (and for their tired parents).
Myths, busted
One lingering myth is that if you put a baby on their back, they’ll aspirate their own vomit and not be able to breathe. This has been disproven — and there may even be some additional health benefits to back sleeping, such as lowered risks for ear infections, stuffy noses, and fever.
Parents also worry about muscular development and flat spots on the head, but daily tummy time helps combat both concerns.
Like we mentioned, the guidelines recommend you continue to put your baby to sleep on their back until age 1, even though around 6 months old — or even earlier — they’ll be able to roll over both ways naturally. Once this happens, it’s generally OK to let your little one sleep in this position.
This typically lines up with an age in which the peak of SIDS has passed, although there continues to be some risk until age 1.
To be safe, your baby should be rolling over consistently in both directions, tummy to back and back to tummy, before you start leaving them in their preferred sleeping position.
If they aren’t consistently and intentionally rolling yet but somehow end up on their tummy while sleeping, then yes, hard as it is — you need to gently put them back on their back. Hopefully they won’t stir too much.
Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of “Happiest Baby on the Block,” has become a vocal advocate for safe sleep, while educating parents on helpful tips to actually accomplish a (semi) restful night.
Swaddling — encouraged by Karp and others — mimics the tight quarters in the womb, and may also help prevent babies from startling themselves awake during their sleep.
A note on safe swaddling
Swaddling has become popular (again) lately, but there are some concerns — such has overheating and hip problems — if done incorrectly. In addition to always placing a swaddled baby on their back in a safe sleep environment free of blankets, pillows, and toys, follow these guidelines:
Stop swaddling once baby can roll over or use a sleep sack that allows the arms to be free.
Know the signs of overheating (quick breathing, flushed skin, sweat) and avoiding swaddling in warmer weather.
Check that you can fit three fingers between your baby’s chest and the swaddle.
In addition, Karp recommends using loud, rumbling sounds to imitate the womb with a sound machine for naps and sleep.
He has found the side and stomach position to be soothing to babies, and will hold them in those positions while swaying, swinging, and shushing them (but not for actual sleep).
Karp’s methods show how the stomach position, along with his other tricks, activate a calming mechanisms in babies that are up to 3 months old, explaining why some babies would just love to sleep on their stomachs. But once your baby is in a calm, sleepy state, put them to bed on their back.
Talk with your healthcare provider
We don’t really know how many parents put their babies to sleep on their tummies, because it seems to be a secret that people are hesitant to discuss with each other. But online forums suggest it may be a lot.
You’re tired — and that’s a big deal that shouldn’t be ignored — but unfortunately, how baby seems to sleep best isn’t best if it means tummy sleeping before they can roll over (both ways) on their own.
Your doctor is there to help. Talk with them about your frustrations — they can provide tips and tools so that you and baby can both sleep better and with peace of mind.
In theory, if you’re awake and alert, allowing your little one to nap on your chest isn’t inherently harmful, as long as there is no risk of you falling asleep or being too distracted in any way to ensure a safe situation.
But let’s be honest — as parents of newborns, we’re always prone to nodding off. And baby can roll off of you in an unexpected second.
Other ways parents can help to ensure safety during sleep are:
use a pacifier
breastfeed if possible
ensure baby isn’t overheated
keep baby in your room (but not in your bed) for the first year of life
Safety note
Sleep positioners and wedges are not recommended while feeding or sleeping. These padded risers are intended to keep your baby’s head and body in one position, but are not recommended by the Food and Drug Administration due to the risk of SIDS.
Stomach sleeping is fine if your little one gets themselves into that position after being put to sleep on their back in a safe environment — and after proving to you that they can consistently roll both ways.
Before baby hits this milestone, though, the research is clear: They should sleep on their back.
This can be hard at 2 a. m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you.
The child sleeps on his stomach: is it possible and how to wean
Can a one month old baby sleep on his stomach? Or is it worth weaning it? Let’s figure it out together.
Source here and below: Unsplash
A baby sleeping on his stomach causes a lot of controversy. One of the mothers or pediatricians may advise such a sleeping position only when the baby learns to roll over on his own. And someone will recommend putting the crumbs on the stomach from birth.
There are those who are categorically against such a dream! Surely, I heard the call: a newborn should sleep on his back and only on a hard surface. Which camp should you join? Let’s figure it out!
Can a one month old baby sleep on his stomach
The prone position has found its application in nursing premature babies in specialized departments. Children born prematurely are always at risk for various diseases. After all, it turns out that the baby did not have time to develop in the usual conditions of intrauterine life, and falls into conditions in which it cannot exist independently.
It is important not only to provide oxygen, food, the right temperature and humidity, but also to be in a position that would be the most physiological . And, of course, this is fetal position , when the spine takes C-shaped bend, and the load on it is minimal.
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For this purpose, special hammocks are used in the departments of pathology of prematurity, where the spine, lying on its back, takes the desired, slightly sagging position. Or the staff of the departments just puts such tiny babies on their stomachs. Remember yourself how your back rests in a hammock, and you will understand the essence of the method.
Prematurely born, such unloading is simply necessary. Giving a correct posture to a premature newborn prevents deformities of the skull, trunk and pelvis, which disrupt and slow down subsequent development.
When can a baby sleep on his stomach
By the way, even in full-term newborns, the spine is still devoid of those bends that appear in a child by the time a vertical position is mastered. Again, remember about the slightly bent and resembling the letter “C” spinal column of babies – that’s why it’s uncomfortable for a newborn to lie on his back for a long time, and even more so on a hard surface! The most physiological position is the position in the arms of the mother. Or a pose on the stomach with legs pulled up to the chest (it is closest to the intrauterine position).
Orthopedists and pediatricians warn: lying motionless on the back for a long time on a flat surface is harmful for the posture , the correct formation of the hip joints, and the muscle tone of newborns. And given that the sleep of the crumbs per day can be from 14 to 22 hours, the concern of specialists becomes understandable.
And if an orthopedist diagnoses a child of the first year of life with a diagnosis of “ hip dysplasia “, then he will advise limiting lying on the back. And he will recommend frequent laying down of the awake baby in the position of a frog (on the tummy with legs wide apart).
The child sleeps on his stomach: is it possible with colic
During the first months, the child has frequent problems with digestion. This manifests itself in constipation and gases, constant colic. Pediatricians recommend in this case (in addition to massage and a warm diaper) to spread the baby on the tummy more often . It is in this position that the processes of digestion are normalized, the discharge of gases increases. And the baby rarely begins to sleep more calmly.
Also, do not forget that the imperfection of the digestive system of the newborn leads to frequent spitting up, and sleeping on the back can be dangerous – baby is able to choke at night . If he sleeps on his tummy, this will not happen, be calm!
Some mothers wonder how to teach their baby to sleep on their stomach . Doing this is optional. Exactly the same as guessing, how to wean a child from sleeping on his stomach . The time of wakefulness spent on the stomach is quite enough for a good impetus to the development and normal functioning of the digestive system.
When the baby starts sleeping on his stomach
This usually happens from the moment the child has learned to roll over. It is impossible to unequivocally answer the question, why the child sleeps on his stomach . Apparently he’s just comfortable. But this situation is not always safe.
But still, there is a threat with such a dream on the stomach. When you put your baby on a soft pillow, use a blanket or crib bumpers, the baby may bury his face in the fabric and stop breathing.
There is an opinion that the baby needs to sleep on his back with his head tilted to the side. And without the use of duvets and pillows. This position is shared by those who refer to sudden infant death syndrome .
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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome has been described in the medical literature. The essence of this terrible phenomenon is as follows. A healthy child dies during sleep, and no obvious signs of the disease are found at the autopsy.
Science is not yet able to unequivocally answer the question why this is happening. There are no congenital malformations of internal organs, heart pathology. The child just stops breathing. Statistics indicate possible causes that increase the likelihood of developing the syndrome.
Boys die more often, more often at the age of two or three months, more often in winter. Adverse factors: prematurity, twin child, mother under 18, less than a year interval between pregnancies, mother smoking. Recently, this list began to include sleep on the stomach .
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But I would like to add that SIDS happens more often in those families where it is customary to leave the child alone in a bed, a room, even on another floor of a private house.
If you are afraid to leave your baby on your stomach for a long time, then you can use your waking hours for such activities. While the baby is lying on the tummy, you will intuitively stroke and massage. And these movements are very useful for tactile and psycho-emotional development . And also remember, the more often in the first month of life you put the baby on the stomach, the faster the neck muscles will get stronger and he will begin to hold his head.
When the baby begins to roll over on his stomach (and this happens in the region of three to four months), make sure that soft bedding does not block the oxygen supply to the child’s respiratory tract. Be sure that all safety rules are fully observed in the nursery.
Expert
Anna Makevnina
Nutrition consultant, pediatrician, nutritionist, mother of 4 sons, @makevnina_anna
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Baby 5 months, 6, 7 months sleeping on his stomach
You put the baby on his back, and he rolls over on his tummy. With the fact that the baby sleeps on the tummy stronger and longer. Familiar situation? Are you worried if it’s normal for a baby to sleep on your stomach? Do you need to do something about it? Accept it or turn back on your back? Most young parents have questions: “Why do children sleep like that? Is this position safe? Can I put my baby to sleep on my stomach? In this article, the consultants of the Sleep, Baby team will help you find the answers.
The child rolls over in his sleep
But still, why does the child sleep on his stomach? And most often adults notice it around 5 months.
Indeed, sometimes children themselves begin to roll over on their stomachs in their sleep. If this happens closer to 4-5 months, it suggests that they are learning a new motor skill.
This is normal, baby learns to roll over and does it in his sleep. But never put your baby to sleep on your stomach0013 The safest sleeping position is the back position!
Sometimes the baby tries to find a comfortable sleeping position . Until almost six months, the baby cannot take a comfortable position on his own and sleeps the way his mother puts him. The little man is tired of lying on his back, somewhere something is numb, uncomfortable. Also in this position, the baby does not interfere with himself with his hands and does not excite himself with uncontrolled shudders. Therefore, on the stomach, sleep is usually longer and stronger. The baby rolls over on his tummy to make himself comfortable. It is worth spreading the crumbs more often during wakefulness on the tummy.
Safe sleeping position
It is important to know that there are no official recommendations on safe sleeping positions in Russia. The vast majority of doctors in Russia advise laying babies on their side, and for some diseases (for example, with special forms of reflux), they recommend sleeping on the stomach.
Important to know! In 1994, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) launched the Back to sleep campaign. According to the AARP, the number of SIDS cases decreased by 2 times after the campaign!
You may find varying information regarding the optimal sleeping position for your baby. Therefore, before deciding how you will put the baby to sleep, be sure to consult your doctor on this issue!
Before choosing how you will put your baby to sleep, be sure to consult your pediatrician on this issue!
How can I help my baby roll over while sleeping?
It also happens that the baby wakes up during a coup on the stomach. What to do in this case? How to help him?
You can help your baby learn to roll while awake to practice it. During the day, you can stimulate to roll over and spread the baby more often on the tummy. At the same time, try to alternately change the position of the head to avoid the development of torticollis.
14-22 weeks of age, gymnastics and massage will be especially useful, which stimulate the nervous system and contribute to the development and mastering of new skills. The position lying on the stomach contributes to better development of the muscles of the press and neck, and this leads to the fact that the child begins to hold his head earlier, tries to get on all fours.
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Baby sleep from 3 to 6 months
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Rollers and positioners are not safe!
Never put bolsters into the bed during sleep to avoid rollovers. This is dangerous. Also make sure that there are no unnecessary items in the crib, such as: a pillow (up to the age of 2 years, a pillow is not needed), toys, and even a blanket. Use a hard mattress.
If you use a blanket, always secure it (tuck it under the mattress) and never pull it over your chest. If the baby is covered with his head, then this will lead to a restriction in the flow of air. The best solution is to choose comfortable clothes for sleeping without a blanket and sleeping bag.
You can read about safe comfortable conditions for sleeping in a separate article and watch our free video lesson “Safety of children’s sleep”.
Pay attention to sleeping conditions – ventilate the room before going to bed, keep the humidity comfortable for babies, provide a safe place in the crib without unnecessary items. Make sure that the baby’s nose breathes easily: clean it from dry crusts in time, treat a runny nose. Avoid wrapping and overheating of baby. And sleep with the baby in the same room for at least 1 year to be able to make sure the baby is safe and help him in time.
Difficulties with the gastrointestinal tract
Difficulties with the gastrointestinal tract may occur closer to six months . For example, with the introduction of complementary foods, painful natural conditions appear when the gastrointestinal tract is rebuilt to a new type of nutrition. This does not require special treatment, but it is important to monitor the introduction of products and their effect on the baby’s condition. At this age, the baby may suffer from colic.
Sleeping on the tummy helps to survive the painful condition. When you sleep on your stomach, it is easier for gasses to move away, which helps to have a restful sleep. In general, lying on the tummy improves bowel function.
At such an early age, you can practice sleeping in a belly-to-belly position on your mother, this will also be an additional tactile contact that plays such an important role in the development of an infant, especially at this young age.
Thus, sleeping on the tummy is not safe for a child up to 3-4 months. By six months, the baby himself knows how to protect himself to some extent, he already controls his body better. It is better to lay children initially on their backs at bedtime. But do not specifically return the baby to the back if he turned over on his tummy. This is normal, as he learns to roll over at this age. Remember that the baby grows and becomes more independent. Good dreams to you!
On Friday, December 2nd, we had a St. Nicholas Chat. Physiotherapist Jolanta Kawiecka-Macheevska answered parents’ questions related to the healthy movement of babies. We will tell you how to do the exercises, what to avoid. How to set up a safe space.
1. Question: A six-month-old baby wants to sleep on his stomach at night. It constantly flips. But I’m afraid he’ll sleep like that. What is the opinion?
Expert answer: Anna, the baby can sleep on the tummy, but you should pay attention:
– Does he raise his head, lying on his stomach, even during the day.
This may indicate various problems with muscle tension. Please ask for more details, such as if he keeps his head upright when he tries to sit up.
Babyono baby spends a lot of time on his stomach, he likes to play like that. After visiting a physiotherapist, no problems with tension or asymmetry were found.
Expert answer: We are happy for you! You can massage your toes – sinus receptors.
Babyono but is it safe to sleep on your stomach for a six month old baby?
Expert answer: Sleeping on your stomach is useful if there are no health contraindications, for example, problems with the heart or head position.
2. Question: And I also wanted to ask – my six-month-old daughter, lying on her stomach, spreads her arms to the sides, raises her head and makes such an airplane … is this normal?
Expert’s answer: Dominica Please calm the Moro reflex – massage between the shoulder blades and carry the baby so that she keeps her hands to herself.
3. … He is currently 8 weeks old.
Expert’s answer: Mariola – be sure to add relaxation, i.e. massage between the shoulder blades (circles to the right, clockwise) until he lowers his head. PS If the triangle between the shoulder blades is still clearly defined, see a physiotherapist.
4. Question: When should I start worrying about my son not sitting up by himself? He is already 7 months old.
Expert answer: Joanna, at this stage he should rotate around his axis and crawl, and only then sit. 8 months is the optimal time to start sitting for healthy baby development
5. Question: My 4.5 month old daughter twitches her toes. Can this be fixed at home with a massage or do I need a physical therapist?
Expert answer: Barbara, we recommend that you go with a neurological physical therapist. At this age, a large amount of physical exercise is required, and not just massage.
6. Question: Second question: daughter is 10 months old, she starts to walk around the furniture, but one leg turns inward, is this normal? In addition, she moves on tiptoe, rarely placing her feet flat.
Expert answer: Joanna, regarding the problem of tiptoeing: you can do a simple test – take the baby under the armpits, without touching the shoulder blades, lift him up, and then firmly put him on the ground. If she is on her toes, then it is better to consult a physiotherapist (massage and relaxation exercises will quickly help the child). Foot wrap problem:
1. You need to see if he leans his head in the direction opposite to the leg that he bends.
2. Does he sit asymmetrically on the floor in the form of the letter M. Are the parents carrying the child only on one side?
4. Is there a footstool while sitting, such as while eating. In addition, it is better to lift the baby from the ground by the hands, and not under the armpits.
These are the most common causes of foot wrapping and tiptoe walking. Consult with your neurologist so that a specialist can confirm the possible presence of problems with muscle tension.
7. Question: I have a question: what is the best way to get rid of a runny nose in a one-year-old child? He suffers terribly because of this.
Expert answer: Edita, a runny nose in the work of a physiotherapist does not interfere with exercise, and lying on your stomach prevents possible bronchitis. You can lower the air temperature, use battery operated humidifiers or traditional humidifiers.
8. Question: My daughter is 6.5 months old and she starts to rise to sit sideways. Is it ready for ergonomic carrying?
Expert answer: Anna, regarding ergonomic carriers, it is best to consult an expert in this subject. This is the subject of the river, as well as many individual factors of the baby and mother that affect this.
9. Q: My 4-month-old daughter pulls my fingers to sit up, is that okay? And yet she does not turn from her back to her stomach and back, is it necessary to do something?
Expert’s answer: Evelina, it is good to pull only up to an angle of 45 degrees. We recommend lying on your stomach.
10. Question: Is it necessary to rehabilitate a 2.5-month-old child with reduced muscle tone?
Expert’s answer: Sylvia, to help you, I need to see the child. I recommend consulting with a specialist.
11. Question: When should I start worrying that my daughter can’t walk yet. She turned one year old.
Expert’s answer: Paulia, 18 months is the upper limit of normal for a child to start walking.
12. Question: My daughter has spinal asymmetry. She is 8 months old. What is the best rehabilitation method?
Expert answer: Ursula has different methods! Worth considering:
1. massage – stretching the spastic side of the spine and relaxing the tense side of the spine,
2. hydromassage,
3. exercise Vojta on asymmetry (at least try at this age),
4. We advise against sitting as there is a risk of increased asymmetry if the child leans in one direction.
The most important thing is that the head is perfectly aligned on the axis, the ears are at the same level, one line at the back of the neck. We recommend that you and your baby see a physical therapist.
13. Question: My daughter is 10 months old. While in a wheelchair, she constantly leans to the right side and “hangs”. I don’t know if this is serious or if she just likes it that way. Please explain.
Expert answer: Małgorzata, besides the position, is there anything else that worries you? Does she also lean to this side when she sits?
Everything always takes from the right side.
Expert answer: Małgorzata, you should talk to a neurologist. This may indicate asymmetry and weakness on one side of the body. We recommend the “wheelbarrow” exercise also with the right hand raised (should be supported on the left) or roller and ball exercises.
14. Question: What do you think about ergonomic handkerchiefs and carriers?
Expert’s answer: Joanna, this is a very individual question – you should take into account the design of the mother, for example, in mothers with large breasts, the child often deviates unnaturally and positions his head to one side. If your child is too tense and constrained, it is worth seeking advice from a specialist and taking part in a course on wearing headscarves. The topic is very broad.
15. Question: Hello, I have a 9-day-old son who was diagnosed with an abnormal sucking reflex yesterday and is therefore probably not gaining weight. My question is, what exercises can I do to help my son? I will add that we feed formula
Expert answer: Anna, it is recommended to consult a speech therapist, neurologist or neurological physiotherapist to teach you exercises and tongue massage.
16. Question: Good afternoon! My son has been in rehab for five months. Weak muscle tension – currently varies globally. Weak support on the stomach. He pinches his thumbs too hard. At the moment, he easily rolls over on his stomach and back on his back. He props himself up on his elbows. Presses the legs and pushes the ass up. He won’t sit down yet. Creeps. Hand question. More often he reaches for toys with his left hand. Without problems, he shifts them from one hand to another, but he clamps his right hand strongly. This happens when I sit him down for a moment, while exercising on the ball, and also when he lies on his stomach. What exercises will help to work out this hand.
Expert answer: Alexandra, we recommend: Voight stimulation, styloid process stimulation – wrist, massage 3 times a day for two weeks (relaxation of the upper limbs of both hands). Remember to make sure your little one goes up on all fours from the front, with their hands, and not raising their butt. We recommend lying on your stomach on a small cushion, for example, or two braided scarves, with your arms extended. Temporarily we recommend to wear the baby on the stomach, with the right armpit.
17. Question: My almost four-month-old son does not want to lie on his stomach. Each attempt to put him on his stomach ends in 10 seconds with crying and soothing him. Are there exercises that strengthen the abdominal muscles and encourage him to lie on his stomach?
Expert’s answer: Agnieszka, he puts his hands forward well, but aren’t his fists too tightly clenched? It is worth putting the child directly on the foam rubber puzzles, as well as putting on pants and opening the feet. It seems to me that he lacks relaxation of the muscles of the spine – he holds his head with a large bend. But I should have seen the baby.
18. Question: My daughter is 2 months old and she is very tense, and immediately becomes stiff and red, and when I see this, I immediately react and panic, my question is, what if I do not react immediately? Will she be able to calm down on her own?
Expert’s answer: Angelica, it’s better to consult a neurologist about this.
Visit in January.
Expert answer: Anzhelika, try to go through rehabilitation earlier, the pediatrician will write you a referral. This is the best time to exercise!
19. Question: How to encourage a 3-month-old baby to lie on his stomach? Pediatricians told him to put it like that because of his underdeveloped intestines and constant colic. However, the baby is constantly crying. We entertain him, for this we have pillows that play and vibrate, but this does not help. He used to raise his head, but now he lies and cries.
Expert’s answer: Kasia, try to relax the muscles of the spine and neck (most likely they are tense). Massage and hydromassage using ozone can help. We recommend relaxation therapy.
20. Question: Hello, my daughter will be 7 months old on 7.12. Until now, she does not turn on her own from her stomach to her back and vice versa. Lying on her stomach, she tries to “swim” and turns around the axis. The pediatrician says she still has time to roll over on her own, but I’m a little worried. The child willingly stretches out his hand for toys, shifts them from hand to hand. Very cheerful, socially developed and talkative. Can Baby start to crawl first, and only then roll over? I will add that she does not want to sit down on her own. Would you recommend visiting a neurologist and a physiotherapist? Can you recommend any exercises?
Expert answer: Polina, tell us the details:
Are your hands trembling?
– Is the beard trembling?
Does she wave her arms when she’s stressed?
Does he swing his legs?
Is she tense?
Does he clench his toes?
Then the answer will be more accurate.
21. Question: My baby is 9 months old, and he is not crawling yet, do I need to sign her up for rehabilitation, she does not even try to crawl, she just tries to get up, she also sits on her own.
Expert’s answer: Nicole, babies optimally start crawling at 10 months. Now she must crawl.
22. Question: Hello, my son is 5.5 months old, when we hold him in our arms, he bends very strongly in one direction or another, sometimes so much that his body forms the letter “C”. Maybe I should start doing something about it?
Expert answer: Martha, absolutely. Go see a neurologist and a physiotherapist.
23. Question: Good afternoon! Son 8.12 will be six months old. He does not turn on his stomach from his back and from his stomach to his back. On the side there is no problem, but on the side with a little help it will turn on the stomach. He is drawn to the left side, most often he lies and sleeps on his left side. Should I be worried that it won’t roll over? Maybe I need to do some exercises and which ones? We have a neurologist only on January
Expert’s answer: Dominica, we recommend rolling it in the sheet, but first of all, we must take care of relaxing the muscles of the neck and back. Pay attention to whether you are carrying the child on one side. We recommend playing “a cuckoo” with your child – especially on the side on which he does not turn over, as well as Chantal’s massage. Massage your back twice a day, be vigilant and watch your baby daily. This should help.
24. Question: Hello, our girl is 14 months old. He’s been walking for about a month now, but we noticed that his left leg is turning inward. The family doctor said that we have nothing to worry about yet, but we received a referral to an orthopedist. Do we really have nothing to worry about? Our visit is only two months away. Is there any way we can help her to stop this behavior?
Expert’s answer: Joanna, it’s worth checking if she turns her head in the opposite direction than her leg. If yes, then you should relax the muscles of the neck from the tense side, i.e. on the side from which she bends her leg. It is also worth checking how it sits on the floor during the game, whether you wear it on horseback and whether the legs have support, for example, while eating. It is worth playing with holding various, safe objects on the head – this will ensure a symmetrical position of the head and body.
25. Question: My son is 12 months old, he can stand on his own, but he still crawls. However, its crawling is not symmetrical. At first, instead of crawling in the classic way, he moved on his butt (pushing his hips forward), and now he crawls as if one leg wants to rise. In the application. We were at the orthopedist – he said that everything is in order when it comes to the hip joint. The physiotherapist recommended that we hold the leg that moves forward while crawling. However, the son then sits down and does not want to move, that’s all. Can I do some exercises with my son? Should I be worried? I have the impression that the left leg may be twisted due to such walking, and the movement in the hip joint is unusual.
Expert’s answer: Anna, look to see if the gap between the buttocks is curved to the right. If yes, then it is worth doing a massage of the spine, relaxing the tense side and, above all, preventing spinal curvature by contacting a neurological physiotherapist. An effective exercise is a wheelbarrow, turning to the left is a windmill, the urge to get up from the opposite leg. There are many exercises, but individual therapy is required.
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Why babies shouldn’t sleep with their parents
Why babies under six months shouldn’t share a bed with their parents, why sofas, couches and armchairs are dangerous for a baby’s sleep, American pediatricians explained in their recommendations.
A picture familiar to many parents: they put a newborn baby in the crib, and he closes his eyes. Then he opens it again and bursts into tears. And, perhaps, the only thing that frightens more than long sleepless nights is that one day a child may not wake up at all.
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In the US alone, approximately 3,500 babies die each year in their sleep, including for reasons related to diseases, accidental strangulation, or because of the so-called sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) – the death of a healthy baby from respiratory arrest. In another way, this syndrome is also called death in the cradle. SIDS was included in the International Classification of Diseases at 1975, and began to study it 15 years before.
However, the exact cause of infant death has not yet been established.
Researchers note factors that correlate with the syndrome: sleeping on the stomach, too soft bed, poor maternal health and difficult birth, intrauterine developmental problems. Children under six months of age are most at risk, they account for 90% of all cases. Until now, there was no accurate data on whether sleeping in the same bed with parents affects the risk of sudden death – in the book “Children’s Sudden Death. A handbook for practitioners (Unexpected death in childhood. A handbook for practitioners) Peter Sidebotham and Peter Fleming mention that there is a culture with a reduced risk of SIDS, in which it is customary to sleep with children, and with an increased one.
But some cases of unexpected, at first glance, death occur due to the negligence of parents.
Children die of suffocation, which is often preventable.
In the same room but not in the same bed
Weekends are not for childbirth
Tuesday is the most favorable day for the birth of a child, but on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday babies …
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Members of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), as part of a report on SIDS, compiled a 9 based on current research0413 list of recommendations that will help reduce the risk of infant death. The list was presented at the AARP National Conference and Exhibition on October 24, 2016. It includes the following items:
– the crib must have a firm mattress with a tight-fitting sheet;
– soft bedding should be avoided: blankets, pillows, soft toys. The bed must be empty;
– the child must not be exposed to tobacco smoke, alcohol and drugs;
– in the first six months or a year, it is better for a child to sleep in the same room with his parents, but in his own bed. This measure reduces the risk of sudden death by 50%, which is confirmed by repeated studies.
“We know how overwhelmed parents can be with newborns, and we want to give them simple, clear guidance on how and where they should put their baby to bed,” says Dr. Rachel Moon, lead author of the report. – Parents should never put their child to sleep on a sofa, couch or easy chair, whether alone or with someone. We know that all these surfaces are dangerous for the child.”
An entire chapter in the new recommendations is devoted to explaining why a child should sleep in a separate bed until at least six months after birth, and preferably up to a year.
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“There is evidence that sleeping in the same room, but apart from parents, reduces the risk of sudden death by 50%,” the document says, citing statistics.
This circumstance should be decisive in the choice of parents where to put the child to bed, no matter how much they want to stay close to him and breastfeed at night.
The statistics are relentless: the most common cases of unintentional suffocation, when a child is accidentally covered with a hand or a blanket, occur in the first six months of life, when the infant cannot yet independently remove objects that interfere with him.
Despite this, most Russian websites dedicated to motherhood insist on the benefits of baby sleeping with mom (although usually dad also sleeps with her), while the arguments almost never use scientific or even science-like data. “In the event that mother and child sleep separately, the baby may have a long deep sleep. Sometimes a two-month-old baby starts sleeping from nine in the evening until nine in the morning, “like a log.” In such a situation, a child’s prolonged deep sleep is a protective reaction to stress. The stress for a newborn is sleeping separately from the mother, writes one of the most popular sites for moms. “Sleeping together with the mother is necessary for the child to form a balanced psyche, to create confidence in the world around him and, above all, in his own mother, for a stable sense of security. ”
The authors of the report advise offering a pacifier to the child before bedtime, getting all vaccinations on time, breastfeeding and looking after him when he lies on his tummy.
The Academy encourages doctors to talk openly with parents about how parents put their babies to bed. Booklets and advertisements can also play an important role in providing parents with information.
“We want to share this information with parents in a way that doesn’t scare them, but explains the real risks of an unsafe place to sleep,” explains Dr. Moon. “We know that you can significantly protect a child without spending money on special monitoring devices, but by following simple safety precautions.”
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The
Guidelines for Reducing the Risk of SIDS are not the only ones issued by the AHA. For example, recommendations regarding the amount of time children and adolescents spend in front of a TV screen, monitor or other device have recently been updated.
Up to 18 months, experts advise avoiding contact with digital devices as much as possible. From 18 months to two years, let’s allow watching programs in the presence of parents, who should help the child understand what is happening on the screen. Up to five years, the time spent in front of the screen should not exceed one hour. It still should not be left alone for this time, he still needs the help of his parents in understanding what is happening and how it relates to real life. After the age of six, parents must set a time limit for device use. In addition, children should not use them at the expense of healthy activities such as sleep and exercise.
Parents are also encouraged to allocate time free from technology for family communication.
causes, diagnosis and treatment – NEARMEDIC network of clinics
Immediately after birth, a healthy baby sleeps a lot. Most of the day is spent sleeping. The rest of the time he eats. In the first days of life, the child grows up, actively gaining weight. It remains for parents to observe, admire and perform hygiene and other care procedures.
As time goes by, the sleep intervals shorten, the time of being awake increases. A long sleep should not be alarming if the child wakes up for food, notifies you of wet diapers. But the lack of normal sleep and crying for too long after taking the usual measures serve as a signal that the baby is ill.
Frequent changes in the phases of sleep and wakefulness occur from birth to a year. Later, the schedule becomes more predictable. You can look at the newborn sleep calendar to find out what intervals of sleep and wakefulness are normal for the current period of life.
When not to worry
A healthy child, upon waking up, begins to grunt at first. These are the first signals that he wants:
is;
drink;
feel parental warmth and smell;
dry diapers.
If you immediately take the child in your arms, carry out all the usual manipulations and feed, the baby should calm down. It happens that this does not happen, and the newborn cries, refuses to eat.
One of the first causes of this behavior is intestinal colic. This is increased gas formation caused by inappropriate nutrition. Sometimes it is enough to scold the child in your arms (ideally bare belly to the warm body of the parent) or massage the tummy for the symptoms to go away. In some cases, you have to resort to special means: from medicines to medical tubes for releasing gases.
ATTENTION! These procedures are best done only after examining a doctor and recommending certain means. Self-medication can change the picture of the disease, if any, as well as cause unnecessary suffering to the child without the desired effect.
Causes of colic
Colic can occur in children who are breastfed, organized according to all WHO standards, mixed and full artificial. The reason is the imperfection of the gastrointestinal tract, which reacts sharply to components that are not suitable for absorption. It is always individual, therefore, nutrition is selected patiently, with the exception of those components that caused the disorder.
How can a specialist help?
If colic is detected, the doctor will take an anamnesis, help analyze nutrition, recommend a set of measures to improve the condition, prescribe new nutrition, medications to eliminate discomfort. The doctor will monitor the condition of the baby until it is completely normal.
A specialist will show you how to properly stroke your baby’s tummy to stimulate the bowels to expel excess gas as soon as possible. He will tell you about the features of the feeding regimen and the rules for laying the newborn on the tummy in order to improve digestion and prevent regurgitation.
Symptoms
The baby cannot sleep for a long time, wakes up frequently. It is especially evident when the child falls asleep in the arms or on the stomach of the parents and immediately wakes up crying when trying to put him separately.
Dysbacteriosis
Another important reason that guarantees restless sleep in infants is an imbalance of bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract. After a series of tests, a diagnosis is made – dysbacteriosis. The doctor will not only prescribe treatment, but also help to identify the cause of such an unpleasant disease.
Causes:
improper feeding;
consequences of taking antibiotics.
With proper organization of breastfeeding, there is practically no dysbacteriosis in children, unless there is a history of taking antibiotics by the mother or infant, and also if there were no episodes of supplementary feeding or supplementation with foreign mixtures, water, and other liquids.
Breast milk is an ideal, balanced environment that contains both nutrients and bacteria that ensure proper absorption of food. If necessary, a trained doctor will talk about the rules of breastfeeding recommended by WHO according to the baby’s natural biorhythm.
Artificial nutrition is also designed in such a way that it contains all the necessary substances and a complex of important bacteria. But not always a specific diet is suitable for a child, you have to sort out options, take additional drugs to improve digestion.
Causes
overeating;
change of type of food;
early or incorrect feeding.
Symptoms
The baby sleeps poorly and little, waking up, he can scream for a long time, not falling asleep all night. He falls asleep already in the daytime, rather from fatigue, and periodically whimpers in his sleep, a short restless sleep. May refuse to breast or bottle, arch. Does not calm down from the usual activities that helped with colic.
A characteristic sign is green loose stools with an abundance of mucus and undigested milk clots.
The most important signal about the normalization of the condition is the established normal sleep of the child.
Otitis
Infants are prone to otitis. The imperfection of the structure of the hearing aid leads to inflammatory processes, often they have to be treated with antibiotics. The baby experiences severe pain that interferes with sleep, there are no visual signs, including temperature. In this case, the doctor suspects otitis in the first place, so an examination of the ears is mandatory.
Congenital pathologies
Some diseases do not have a pronounced picture, but their presence may disturb the child. Sleep problems are a clear sign of discomfort, which is characteristic of both normal teething and a number of serious diseases.
If the baby can be calmed relatively quickly, he sleeps enough and smiles often, then you can do without consulting a specialist. When a child sleeps only from fatigue and not very calmly, this is a signal for concern. If sleep disturbance becomes unbearable, permanent, and previous examinations and measures taken have not given a positive effect, a comprehensive examination is necessary.
Diagnoses can range from subtle defects in the musculoskeletal system to developing serious problems. Most childhood diseases are subject to treatment or at least correction, which is most effective in the initial stages. Identification of the causes, making an accurate diagnosis are necessary for taking timely measures.
The network of NEARMEDIC clinics has a maximum of necessary equipment, its own laboratory, all types of examinations are carried out, specialists of a wide and narrow profile work.
Diseases of the nervous system
Problems with the nervous system are typical in a number of cases, and often parents are morally disposed to them in advance, as they have been warned by specialists. Unusual, anxious behavior is characteristic of newborns in a number of cases:
the child was born prematurely;
pregnancy was accompanied by complex diseases, taking strong drugs;
immediately after birth, the child was weaned from the mother, received treatment;
births were completed with complications;
birth with asphyxia, hematomas and other physical disorders.
In these cases, the behavior of the baby is unpredictable, the development of the nervous system occurs in different ways. Doctors can conduct an examination, identify deviations from the norm of development, identify signs of the disease. In some cases, massage, walking, taking baths with sedatives helps. In other situations, the doctor prescribes drug therapy. This is necessary to normalize sleep, as the child’s psyche suffers from insufficient rest.
Some diseases of the nervous system cannot be diagnosed before the age of one or even three years, so supportive therapy is carried out aimed at calming, stabilizing sleep, and the ability to relax. Such manifestations as hypertonicity, hyperactivity and other behavioral features are leveled. The absence of these measures can seriously complicate the subsequent treatment, and timely therapy can improve the situation today and facilitate the stabilization of the condition in the future.
Benefits of normal sleep
It is especially important for a child to get healthy sound sleep in the amount of time that is normal for his age. During sleep, the most active growth occurs, the psyche calms down, body cells work. Lack of sufficient rest time primarily affects mental health, which can easily provoke physical ailments. Normalization of the child’s life is also necessary for parents who also experience moral suffering, do not rest as they should, become irritable, nervous.
Where to go
NEARMEDIC network of clinics employs experienced specialists who identify the causes of sleep disorders and help eliminate them.
The doctor determines why the child is experiencing discomfort.
NEARMEDIC clinics have developed special conditions for managing the health of babies under one year old. By participating in this program, you are guaranteed medical supervision from all relevant specialists. At the conclusion of the contract, you can at any time contact the currently working specialist, get advice, examination and the necessary appointments.
Specialists have access to the latest diagnostic equipment for fast and accurate diagnosis.
If necessary, parents receive a full consultation on caring for a newborn, learn all the subtleties and features of the daily routine, everyday life, hygiene procedures, feeding. Doctors talk about the intricacies of breastfeeding or artificial feeding, teach all the important manipulations.
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With whom should the child sleep? Do you need a stroller? Debunking Parenting Myths
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If you don’t have kids of your own, you’ve probably heard from people you know who recently had a baby how hard their nights are. A newborn often wakes up, cries, and even if, as they say, the most difficult period (the first three months) is over, not everyone is getting better.
By “work” we now mean getting the parents back to normal sleep at night. At least from midnight to five in the morning. And even better – to a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, and that no one was crying nearby.
To achieve this, young parents are ready to go to great lengths – first they move the baby to their own bed, then to another room, then they go to courses where they are taught how to instill in the baby a suitable sleep and wake schedule, how to make him take a nap according to the schedule , beneficial … to whom? Not the baby, of course – his parents.
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Pregnancy and childbirth in Britain: free and without a doctor
What question do young parents in the West ask as soon as their mind, clouded by the first weeks of life with a newborn, begins to clear up a little? “Is he in your room already?”
However, let’s clarify right away: sleeping in different rooms with a child is a relatively new “improvement” that Western civilization has gone to. And not everywhere in the world do this.
In other cultures, the norm is completely different: parents spend the night in the same room with the child, or even in the same bed – sometimes up to seven years old in some places.
“They won’t stick to you forever”
From the point of view of the rest of the world, the West understands parenting in a very peculiar way. And it’s not just about sleeping on a schedule.
Even such a seemingly ordinary thing as moving a child in a pram can by no means be considered a universal standard (more on that below).
In the US and UK, parents are advised to sleep in the same room with their baby for at least the first six months of their birth. And many parents see this only as a short and forced transition to a separate room for the child.
However, in most other parts of the world, babies stay with their parents much longer. A 2016 review of research on this topic indicates that in many Asian countries, children share not only a room, but also a bed with their parents – in 70% of cases in India and Indonesia, in more than 80% of cases in Sri Lanka and Vietnam . Statistics for African countries are not very reliable, but where they exist, they confirm that in Africa, too, as a rule, they sleep with small children.
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Photo image caption,
According to some experts, the very idea that babies shouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night is nothing more than a Western cultural myth. so everyone sleeps in one room … And this will be another (and typical) Western prejudice.
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As doctor and parenting consultant Debmita Dutta from Bangalore says, sharing a bed with young children is a strong, well-established tradition in India, even in those completely non-poor families where everyone has the child has his own room.
“A family home of four may have three bedrooms, one for each child and one for the parents. And yet you find both children sleeping in their mother’s bed,” she says.
According to Dutta, sharing a bed is one way to ease the burden of waking babies at night. Her own daughter had a roll-up bed that she could sleep next to her parents in until she was seven years old.
“Even after I stopped breastfeeding her, she enjoyed sleeping in the same room with us,” explains Dutta. For her, an Indian mother, this is normal.
But in the West they think differently, sometimes resorting to extreme methods – for example, leaving a baby alone and “let him cry. ” For what? To make him sleep for longer periods of time. What for? So that parents can take a break from him. And, of course, so that he himself has a good rest, supporters of such methods will hasten to add.
In Australia, there are even state-funded sleep schools for parents (with accommodation) where they are taught how to teach their child proper sleep.
Such methods of accustoming a child to independence fit well into the orientation toward individualism typical of Western culture.
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Image caption,
Sleeping with a baby is good for both the child and the parent
encourage him to grow up slowly, provoke children to remain dependent on their parents for as long as possible.
However, collectivist thinking prevails in Asian countries, and mothers like Dutta see the situation differently.
“You gradually give them more and more confidence in themselves, more and more independence, and they [sooner or later] will become independent, freed from your guardianship on their own,” she emphasizes. “They will not stick to you forever.”
Is it dangerous to sleep with a child?
This difference between Western and Asian (African or otherwise) approaches, the difference in mentality, ultimately affects when and how much sleep children get.
A study by scientists at Tokyo Bay Urayasu Ichikawa Medical Center found that three-month-old babies in Japan tend to sleep less than babies in other Asian countries, perhaps because “in Japan, sleep is considered a sign of laziness,” noted the authors.
The importance of being a baby. Documentary
It has also been found that children in Asian families tend to go to bed later than children in Western countries. Scientists believe that this may partly be due to the fact that Asian parents want to spend more time with their children in the evenings.
Sleeping in the same bed with a child is another reason. In Japanese culture, for example, this is the norm: “parents feel the child as part of their own body.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents sleep in the same room with a small child to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), but they are against sleeping in the same bed with their baby, as they believe it increases the risk of SIDS.
However, Rashmi Das, Professor of Pediatrics at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences and author of a review of research on the safety of sleeping in the same bed with a child, emphasizes that the lack of high-quality scientific work on this topic makes it extremely difficult to answer the question of whether the risk of SIDS is actually increased in such cases. situations in the absence of other risks – smoking and alcohol consumption.
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Image caption,
Baby-wearing helps parents maintain a close bond (not just physical) with their baby throughout the day
“We can’t tell if sleeping in the same bed increases the risk of SIDS” Das notes.
Research on this topic is mainly carried out in developed countries with high income levels, where such sleep is not traditional. However, in low-income countries, where this is a common thing, SIDS rates tend to be among the lowest in the world.
And it’s not just about geography: when those born in Asia move to the West, they import their cultural traditions and their consequences – including a low risk of sudden infant death syndrome.
For example, Pakistani families living in Britain have a lower risk of SIDS than white British families, despite the fact that Pakistani mothers tend to sleep in the same bed with their babies. It is also worth noting that, according to studies, women in Pakistani families are more likely to breastfeed their babies and much less likely to smoke and consume alcohol. And they are not inclined to leave a small child at night in a separate room.
Das, who recommends sleeping in the same bed as an infant, warns that smoking or drinking is out of the question in such cases. Parents also should not be too obese, otherwise they may accidentally crush the baby in a dream.
The Lullaby Trust, a British SIDS prevention charity, has developed a guide for parents who want to make their bed safe for their baby to sleep.
Always together, always near
So, we have already understood that, from the point of view of representatives of many nations, a night with a baby in bed is not a burden, it is normal and beneficial for both the baby and the mother, it strengthens the parent-child bond and gives a chance for real intimacy at least at night.
A similar closeness, only during the day, is provided by carrying a child in her arms with the help of devices such as a sling. “Sling” is by no means a new trend. Mothers have carried children this way for centuries, only the devices differed slightly in terms of manufacturability, ingenuity and convenience.
It wasn’t until the Victorian era (second half of the 19th century), when baby carriages became popular in Britain, that Western society began to slowly move away from the tradition of carrying babies in their arms.
But in the rest of the world the tradition continued, showing the variety of methods of carrying babies from culture to culture – baskets, boxes, hoods, wide ribbons and special scarves…
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Image caption,
To a small child need constant close contact with the parent, day and night
Even those parents who have never used a sling and its variations have probably noticed how quickly the baby calms down when he is picked up and walked around the room with him. “Parents intuitively come to understand that rhythmic movements with a frequency of 1-2 hertz calm the child, put him to sleep,” notes Kumi Kuroda from the Japanese center for cognitive psychology Riken.
Kuroda decided to start studying the psychological effects of carrying a baby in her arms after she read the results of a study which stated that there was no evidence of a relationship between the amount of time an infant is carried and the amount of time it cries.
“I couldn’t agree with that,” Kuroda says. The results of her own research have shown that carrying a child in her arms reduces his heart rate and reduces the amount of time that the baby cries.
She says that holding a baby in her arms without moving or, conversely, moving around in a stroller or in a car with him has a similar calming effect, but the combination of one with the other is faster.
From a biological point of view, an infant needs constant close contact with the parent, day and night.
During the first few months, babies need to be fed frequently, around the clock. Even when the child’s daily biorhythms begin to take shape and the main hours of his sleep shift to night time, it is completely normal if the baby wakes up at night in the first year.
Photo credit, Baby Sleep Information Source website/ Kathryn O’D
Photo caption,
There is a myth in the West that children who learn to sleep apart from their parents will be more independent when they grow up
“The biology of babies hasn’t changed much in hundreds or thousands of years,” says Helen Ball, professor of anthropology at the University of Durham and director of the university’s Parent-Child Sleep Laboratory. parental responsibilities.”
“This new attitude, among other things, gave rise to the myth that babies shouldn’t wake up at night,” says Ball.
The myth and its consequences
And this myth has its consequences. Sleep disturbances in the early stages of motherhood have been linked to postpartum depression. But, as Professor Ball points out, trying to “fix” a child’s sleep is solving the wrong problem.
“Parents who are depressed suffer much more from interrupted sleep than those who do not have depression,” she emphasizes. they begin to perceive the situation differently.
To equip new parents with accurate knowledge, Ball has compiled a kind of guide to baby sleep.
The very idea that “adult” babies should sleep through the night comes from studies in the 1950s, when it turned out that in a group of 160 London babies, 70% had begun to “sleep through the night” by three months of age.
However, those researchers defined this “sleep all night” as not to wake up parents by crying and not to disturb them from midnight to five in the morning, and this, you see, is not at all the same as the normal eight-hour sleep that a tired mother dreams of. In addition, it was not indicated what exactly the babies did when they “did not disturb” their parents at night – whether they were actually sleeping …
In one way or another, 50% of infants, already seemingly “sleeping through the night”, then, during their first year of life, again began to wake up more often during the night.
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Image caption
One study found that when a child is carried, their heart rate drops and they cry less often
Tango with a baby
sleeps are carried out among a very specific population, namely, among the babies of the Western world, Helen Ball emphasizes.
However, to be fair, there are differences within cultures about how to raise children. So, not everyone in the West agrees that the baby should sleep in another room. In one study, for example, Italian parents called it cruel.
In addition, different families have different circumstances and different opportunities. Someone might want to spend more time with a baby in their arms or in their bed, but simply cannot afford it. And for someone, the night is the only opportunity to be with the child, hug him, hear how his heart beats.
For example, a Japanese woman, Kumi Kuroda, slept with her four children to somehow compensate for her absence during the day.
“I work full-time, and if I spend time in a separate room at night, then there is a minimum of contact with the child,” she says. “And so we communicate closely, even if it happens at night. the time we spend together.”
But, as Kuroda emphasizes, people should decide for themselves what is best for them and their child, and not worry about what they will say about them, or that other parents are different.
Dealing with challenging behaviour when a new baby arrives
5min read
Many children experience feelings of jealousy towards their new brother or sister, and may convey these feelings through resorting to more ‘babyish’ behaviour, such as having tantrums or refusing to use the potty even though they have been successfully potty-trained for a while. This is all perfectly natural, and is their way of expressing their feelings of frustration, and confusion about their role in your life and their place in the family.
Key Points:
It is natural for young children to experience feelings of jealousy towards their new sibling. This is all perfectly natural, and is their way of expressing their feelings of frustration, and confusion about their role in your life and their place in the family
By responding with patience and understanding, your child will start to feel secure again, and know that by making room for a new member of the family, they are not giving up their place or getting any less love from you
Do allow your older child to be an active part of the baby’s life, by letting them help with looking after their baby brother or sister like helping to change a nappy, or reading to them
On this page
Understanding what might be behind their behaviour
Tips for managing this change
Taking a positive approach
Further resources
It is completely normal for older siblings to react in this way to the arrival of a new baby, and should not in any way affect their future relationship, particularly if dealt with in an open and non-judgemental way by their parents, so that their feelings of jealousy will diminish over time. Even if your child appears to be independent and capable of doing many things for themselves and without your constant attention, they still need your love and interest just as much as before – maybe now more than ever. These types of behaviour are particularly prevalent in toddlers, who are still so used to having your undivided attention, and were not long ago being breast or bottle-fed by you or falling asleep in your lap.
Tips for managing this change
If you haven’t had your baby yet, prepare your child for the arrival of the new baby. It might help to look at a children’s book about the subject together.
Do look through old baby pictures of your first child with them, so they remember that they too had all the same attention and care that the new baby is receiving.
Do try to spend some time alone with your older child on a regular basis, so they don’t feel they need to compete for your attention.
Do allow your older child to be an active part of the baby’s life, by letting them help with looking after their baby brother or sister like helping to change a nappy, or reading to them.
Do encourage your children to resolve their differences themselves as they start to get older.
When dealing with a toddler, try to make them figure out their own solutions rather than giving in to their demands all the time – if they are disturbing you whilst you’re trying to feed the baby, ask them to play where the baby can’t get in their way – making them feel they can do things the baby can’t, which reminds them that there are perks to getting bigger!
Don’t make any major changes to your child’s routine when the baby first comes along, such as their sleeping arrangements; try to do this a couple of months before the birth or a few months after the new arrival.
Don’t make comparisons between your children like, “I wish you’d eat up all your food like your baby sister does”. This may make your child feel they’re not good enough. Say what you want from them, like, “Try and eat a bit more, then you can go and watch TV.”
Don’t punish them for regressing or acting ‘babyishly’ – understand that it’s just a natural way for them to deal with emotions they don’t understand, such as jealousy.
Don’t think that sibling rivalry means your children won’t have a good relationship later on – once they have got over the initial jealousy of having to share their parents, there is no reason why they shouldn’t learn to live with their new brother or sister.
Taking a positive approach
Try not to punish your older child, as this may lead to them feeling more resentful towards the baby. Although you must explain clearly that they are not allowed to hurt the baby, tell them you know they are not meaning to be naughty and should tell you how they are feeling, rather than taking it out on their brother or sister. Hopefully this should encourage them to open up to you a bit more and feel comforted by the fact that you want to know how to help them feel better.
By responding with patience and understanding, your child will start to feel secure again, and know that by making room for a new member of the family, they are not giving up their place or getting any less love from you. This will help them to accept the baby and start to see that they are also a part of their life, in their role as big brother or sister.
If friends and family are buying gifts for the new baby, it may be an idea to get some gifts to give to your child too so they don’t feel left out. You might also want to make up a little box full of treats and fun activities, books and toys from the baby to your child.
Watch our video below on tips on getting the kids involved with the new arrival
Further resources
It may help to chat to other parents on our forums to find out how they are dealing with this issue within their family life. You can also talk to us online via our live chat service, email us at [email protected] or call us on our helpline on 0808 800 2222 to speak to trained family support worker.
Other organisations that may be useful:
Visit the NCT website for ten top tips on managing sibling jealousy
Read this advice from Bounty on introducing a new baby to siblings
Last updated: September 2022
My daughter is railing against my new relationship – The Irish Times
Q) I’m the father of an 11-year-old girl. My wife died almost two years ago. I have recently started a new relationship with someone familar to my daughter (she has taken her shopping, babysat for her and so on before the relationship started), and my daughter is fond of her but since the start of the relationship she has been throwing wobblies.
We went on holidays recently and she wasn’t at all happy with the sleeping arrangements; I suppose she was shocked that we were sleeping together as she hadn’t witnessed this before. My partner is devastated and wants the relationship to end as she doesn’t want to hurt my daughter. I have always been my daughter’s chief carer, as I was always a stay-at-home dad.
A) It can be hard for children to accept their parents starting new relationships, especially as they come into adolescence. However, with a bit of patience and support, and some firm rules, they can adjust to the new situation. I wouldn’t give up on your relationship as it is important to you; instead, try to help your daughter manage.
Communication and understanding
Parents often start new relationships without talking to or preparing their children and this can lead to problems. It sounds like it might have been a shock for your daughter on holiday when she realised that the person she thought was a family friend was now confirmed as your new partner.
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This might have been very awkward for her. While it is important to keep new relationships private for a period, it is important to tell children directly when they need to know; for example, before going on holidays. This gives them time to adjust and they may well respect the fact that you have told them.
In helping your daughter, it is important to take time to appreciate how she might be feeling. Like yourself she went through a major bereavement two years ago, losing her mother, and my guess is that she is still coming to terms with this. The fact that you are starting a new relationship might remind her acutely of the loss of her mother and bring up again her feelings of grief.
In addition, she might see the start of the new relationship as a sign of disloyalty to her mother; she is not yet ready to move on and include someone new in her close family unit.
The start of the new relationship might also bring up fears that she will lose you to your new partner. Unconsciously she might be jealous and worry that your new partner will be more important in your life than she is.
At 11 years old, your daughter is starting into her adolescence and is likely becoming much more aware of sexuality and adult relationships. Young adolescents can find it awkward and embarrassing to think of their parents starting sexual relationships and these awkward feelings can be displayed by being critical, judgmental or even hostile.
Help your daughter manage her feelings
It is quite likely that your daughter is unaware of her feelings and will need help articulating them. The goal is to encourage her to put names on her feelings rather than acting them out in tantrums.
Pick a good time to check in with her when you are alone, and ask her how she feels about you being in a new relationship. Listen carefully to what she might say and encourage her to express things without being defensive.
It can be good idea to address directly some of the fears she might have: for example, “ Just because N is my girlfriend, it doesn’t change in any way how special you are to me”, or “It also doesn’t change in any way how we feel about Mum and how we remember her”.
You can also use the time to share your own feelings: “N is a special person in my life and I hope she will continue to be a good friend to you too.” Once their own feelings are acknowledged, many older children do accept their parent’s new partner, especially when they see that the relationship makes them happy.
Insist on respect from your daughter
Whatever your daughter might be feeling, it is important to acknowledge that you do have a right to start a new relationship and you can’t put your own life on hold because your daughter is upset about it. While you can be sensitive to her, you also have to do what is important to you. She might be upset at times, but it is right as a parent to insist your daughter shows respect to you and your partner.
Talk to her after one of her wobblies and say, “I appreciate that you might be upset, but it is not okay for you to throw a tantrum.”
Be prepared to use discipline and consequences if her behaviour continues. For example, you might warn her that if she is rude again like that, then she will lose some of her pocket money or screen time.
The key to managing tantrums and challenging behaviour is to have a step-by-step plan for how you will respond in a calm way. For example, you might start by asking her to be polite or calm down, and if she doesn’t you withdraw from the conversation and then follow up with her later to talk things through.
Dr John Sharry is a social worker, founder of the Parents Plus charity and the author of Positive Parenting. His new evening courses for parents of toddlers, three- to 10-year-olds and teenagers start on October 2nd in Dublin. See solutiontalk.ie
9 Best Ways To Deal With Jealousy In Children
Come up with positive ways to reduce the feeling of insecurity in your child.
Research-backed
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Jealousy is a complex, defensive reaction that may arise when one senses a threat to a valued object or relationship. Jealousy in children usually arises when the parent’s love and affection get divided with the arrival of a sibling. Fascinatingly, jealousy in children is usually associated more with the mother since many young children tend to be closer to the mother.
Jealousy is a common emotion in children, though it is one of the most unpleasant emotions they may experience. The emotion arises from the fear of losing the love and attention of their parents and caregivers. It may also cause anger, anxiety, or resentment toward other siblings. In addition, children may have frequent disagreements or fights if they are jealous of a sibling or a friend.
Read this post to learn about the common parenting mistakes that may lead to jealousy in children and how to deal with them.
Parenting Mistakes That Cause Jealousy In Children
Parental behavior could be the trigger for jealousy in childhood. For instance, children are often eager to impress and seek extra attention from their parents. A child could gradually develop jealousy if parents always give more attention to one child than others.
Below are some of the parenting mistakes that may cause jealousy (1):
1. Too much pampering
If you spoil the child with too much pampering, they could feel unconquered at home. When a new child comes into the family or comes across a more powerful friend than them, they feel insecure. Children may feel the newborn or the friend as the reason for this insecurity. They could suffer from depression when they do not get the desired attention and may develop inferior complexes in the future.
2. Over protecting
Overprotecting the child and then releasing him from the clutches one day would mean that you are suddenly leaving them in the wilderness. They might become reserved, timid, and shy, leading to jealousy when he sees a confident kid.
3. Authoritarian parenting
Over controlling is also another mistake parents make, thereby raising jealousy in children. Setting up strict rules and regulations without explaining the cause will affect the child. They grow with lack of self-confidence and feel less worthy than their siblings or pals.
4. Comparing with others
Another dangerous mistake by parents is to compare their children with each other. Comparisons can only lead to jealousy, rivalry, and lack of self-confidence.
5. Creating unhealthy competition
Making children do the same activity and comparing their results would create unhealthy competition among them. One child may be less skilled than the other, but insisting that they do the same activity with similar precision could prove wrong, leading to jealousy.
6. Birth order
Sometimes parents may pay more attention to a child based on their birth order. For instance, the first sibling might be jealous of their newly born sister or brother when they see parents paying them more attention. With the newborn’s arrival, the older children may feel dethroned, which could lead to jealousy.
Signs Of Jealousy In Childhood And Adulthood
In childhood, you may notice the signs of jealousy when your children are playing with each other. It will be so common that the jealous child might hit the other child and act like it is just a game.
Common signs of jealousy in adults and children may include (2):
False complaints about the person they envy
Anger
Anxiety
Hypervigilance
Possessive behavior
Oversensitivity
May behave annoyed, impatient, expressionless, or even step out of the situation when others receive good compliments
Misunderstand other’s intentions
Bully others
May explain that other’s achievements are without struggles
May copy a person they envy but avoid them
In adulthood, jealousy is more obvious as they talk about the other and impede their progress. Jealousy could hamper adult relations, and many of them may not feel happiness in their lives. The fears and anxiety accumulated over the years may increase the risk of certain mental disorders. You may help your child to grow out of jealousy in childhood to avoid these consequences in the future (3).
Measures To Deal With Jealousy In Children
Before dealing with jealousy in your child, be sure that you are not jealous of your siblings, friends, neighbors, or anybody else. Unless you remove it from your system, you cannot deal with it effectively in your child. Here are the ways to handle jealousy in children (4).
1. Turn envy into ambition
Diverting your child’s envy to a positive channel is a great way to reduce their negative feelings. For instance, if your child is sad because their friend received good grades, you may encourage and motivate them to study harder and score better grades. Once your child gets caught up in the attempt to study, they won’t focus on how to outrace someone. They will divert their focus in the right direction.
2. Listen up
In most instances, jealous and envious behavior is rooted from deep within. They have a particular issue or concern behind such behavior. Talk to your child and know the reason why they are jealous of a particular person and then listen to them. There may be cases where your child may have lower self-esteem and confidence. They may not be sure enough about their positive aspects, which may cause them to exhibit jealousy towards someone else.
3. Read out from the classics
The classic stories and fables have many moral messages conveyed underneath, and even if you don’t emphasize them, your child will learn from those during the crucial stages of their development. Make bedtime reading a daily routine. Get your child more books with morals that talk about qualities like being helpful, caring and having good intentions in mind. This will help your child understand that what they’re doing is not right.
4. Explain using examples
Another great trick to emphasize the importance of having positive feelings about everyone is setting yourself as an example. Compliment others for their sense of humor, good behavior or any other quality that they may have. Be liberal in such compliments in front of your child.
5. Teach your child the importance of sharing
Children tend to hold a grudge against other children for no reason. If that’s the case, teach your little one the importance of sharing and caring. This will help them remove any insecurity. Sooner or later, you’ll find your child enjoying the company of a child they once envied.
6. Love your child
We don’t say you don’t love your child. Instead, we emphasize that they need all the love and affection they could get during this stage of their life. No matter what the reason is, parental guidance, coupled with love and care, can always fix things up and make them the right way faster.
7. Withhold from comparisons
Do not compare one child with the other, as it devalues them. It can develop long-lasting strains. These comparisons will make children conclude that “You love them more than me” or “You think they are better.” Never compare one child’s schoolwork, report cards, and test scores with their siblings or friends. They will not help your child to work harder. Instead, they fuel up resentment in them.
8. Foster a unique strength in each child
Every child loves to hear from parents about their strengths. Talking about that particular strength will nurture their self-esteem. It would be best if you fostered a unique strength in each child on their interests and temperament.
9. Reinforce cooperative behavior
It is one of the simplest ways to let away the jealousy in children. Mold them in a way that they support each other. Give them the moments to share, help, and work together and value their efforts. They will repeat these behaviors as they realize that you want them to be so.
So if you find your child jealous over their classmate’s good grades or because their big brother just got a new bike, sit with your child and remind them of the instances when they achieved something in life and were rewarded for it. Your close involvement makes a huge difference for them.
Jealousy in children is a common emotion, especially in children who have siblings. Children could develop feelings of envy due to various reasons and certain parenting mistakes such as constant comparisons and too much pampering. You may try tips such as diverting a child’s attention towards positive things, listening to them, and lending them your love and support. Also, remember that overlooking your child’s behavior could negatively impact their mental well-being and personality. So next time you see your child jealous of their peers or cousins, talk to them and motivate them to get over this negative attribute.
References:
MomJunction’s articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.
1. Child Counseling: Jealousy and Envy in Kids| How to Handle Children’s Envy; My Wellness Hub 2. Dealing with jealousy; Oxfordshire County Council 3. How to Help Your Child to Deal With Jealousy; Findmykids 4. 5 Ways to Deal with Jealousy in Children; Cambridge Montessori Preschool
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Author
Sagari was a math graduate and studied counseling psychology in postgraduate college, which she used to understand people better. Her interest in reading about people made her take up articles on kids and their behavior. She was meticulous in her research and gave information that could be of help to parents in times of need. An animal lover, vegan, and… more
Dr. Marwa Yahfouf is a board-certified pediatrician practicing in the US. She did graduation in biology and a diploma in teaching before completing the doctor of medicine. Then she worked as a pediatric research fellow at the Center for Infectious Disease Research, Beirut, and did her pediatric residency at the Kansas University School of Medicine in Wichita.
How to handle sibling jealousy with a newborn baby: 10 tips | Baby & toddler articles & support
Whatever happens, there will be a period of adjustment for your oldest child when their baby sibling is born. Here’s how to manage it when they feel left out or jealous.
The arrival of a new brother or sister can be unsettling for a toddler. After all they are used to having your undivided attention.
You might find that your toddler isn’t as happy and excited about your new baby as you are. Some find it difficult to adjust while others accept the new arrival easily (NHS, 2018). Here’s how to handle the jealousy…
1. Get your toddler involved
You could ask your toddler to pass you the bottle for a feed. You could see whether they will hold the cotton wool while you change their little brother or sister’s nappies. You could even try to persuade them to entertain their sibling with songs in the back seat if they’re upset in their car seat.
Your toddler will love having tasks and feel much more part of things. You will need to guide them as a child’s interpretation of a situation may be inaccurate and you should be aware not to expect too much of them (ROSPA, 2018).
2. Put your toddler first sometimes
No matter how much you would normally go to your newborn first, a few occasions of putting your baby second can work wonders.
Try ‘telling’ the baby they’ll have to wait to get their nappy changed while you get their older sibling’s snack. You could put the baby on the play mat while you play dollhouse with their big brother or sister. Anything that shows them that right now, at this second, they are number one.
3. Acknowledge their point of view
Being ‘in it together’ with the occasional acknowledgement of their views can make a whole world of difference. Acknowledgements like ‘Yeah, babies do cry a lot don’t they?’ or ‘I bet you wish sometimes we could hang out alone’ will let them know you get it.
Parents who develop open, participative communication with their children help their children to manage stress well. That helps them to develop resilience (Joseph Rowntree Foundation, 2007).
4. Be prepared for toddlers hitting or other aggression
Yep, however much you hate it, probably your toddler will at some point turn on their sibling. One study found 46% of children said they had been victims of sibling aggression, while 35.6% admitted they had been aggressive to their siblings (Tippett, 2014).
Toddlers might throw a toy at their sibling, pinch them or hit them. And you’re likely to be tempted to shout at them. The thing is: that was kind of their aim. Instead, give your attention to making sure the baby is ok and then they’ll think that was a waste of time and (hopefully) not bother again.
Positive parenting and good relationships within the family reduce levels of aggression. Yet harsh parenting is associated with increased levels of aggression (Tippett, 2014). You could try to encourage your eldest to talk about any anger or jealousy they feel towards their younger sibling. These are normal emotions and it is better for them to talk about them than to bottle them up (Wallace, 2016).
5. Don’t compare your toddler with your newborn
Asking your older child why they can’t be more like their baby brother or sister is unnecessary and unhelpful. Don’t be tempted – even when you’re tired and stressed out.
6. Stay alert with toddlers for a while when you have a newborn
Much as it would be lovely to be able to leave your children alone together and know they’d be fine, this is the real world. For a while, you’ll have to be close to hand to know that your older child won’t hurt your baby – even accidentally – when you’re not there to monitor.
Children under the age of four are most at risk of an accident at home (Rospa, 2018). Many accidents are caused by horseplay, involving pushing, shoving and wrestling.
Other things to be careful about are heavy objects, such as furniture and televisions, being pushed or pulled over on to younger babies or children. Children might see sets of drawers as ideal climbing frames but they can pull over easily if unsecured. Children can also swallow, inhale or choke on items like small toys, peanuts and marbles (Rospa, 2018).
If your toddler begs to hold his new sibling, sit your toddler on the floor on a soft surface and help them to support the baby.
7. Get help with the baby so you can spend one-on-one time with your older child
Nothing can make your older child feel better about their feelings towards their sibling than hanging out with you and you alone. If you’re breastfeeding and can’t leave your newborn for long, even a quick trip to the park can make them feel they’ve got your undivided attention again.
The quality of the parent–child relationship at home can influence cognitive and socio-emotional outcomes for pre-school children (Department of Education, 2017).
8. Point out how much the baby likes their older sibling
Saying ‘Look how much they love you’ and ‘They won’t stop watching how good you are on your bike’ will make your older child feel like they’re really involved in making their younger sibling happy. Warm, authoritative and responsive parenting helps children to manage stress. By boosting their confidence they will respond better to the change in their lives (JRF, 2007).
9. Keep toddler routines as much as possible
Toddlers are creatures of habit. So if you can sling some clothes on and drag yourself to their usual music group, even in the early weeks, it will make a massive difference to how they feel. After all, this is a huge upheaval in their lives.
Try with the smaller stuff too, like reading them a bedtime story or eating your usual breakfast. Participation in routines like reading or storytelling are associated with higher social and emotional school readiness among preschool-age children (Munzi, 2014). Going to playgroup, visiting friends and telling a bedtime story might be difficult to organise in the first few weeks. But sticking to established routines will help reassure your toddler (NHS, 2018).
10. Remember that it won’t last for ever
When young children are feeling jealous of baby siblings, it can feel like a phase that will never end. But – like them all – it will. And before you know it, they’ll be best of mates (and ganging up on you). Remember too that both your baby and toddler are gaining socially and emotionally by having a sibling (Hughes, 2011).
This page was last reviewed in June 2018
Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.
Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.
My Teen Resents My New Partner
What can you do if your child doesn’t accept or seem to like the person you love?
Dating after divorce or a break-up is never easy, especially if you have children. You’ve navigated the highs and lows of finding a partner and now you’ve finally found the one. There’s just one problem: your child doesn’t like them.
Your teen’s dislike for your other half could be causing all sorts of upset and conflict, not just in your relationship with your partner, but also within the rest of the household. It can often feel as if you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Uncovering The Issues
Before you can even begin to deal with the situation, you need to find out exactly why your teen doesn’t like your partner. Your child might not be emotionally ready to see you with another person, especially if the family breakdown was recent and emotions are still raw, but there may be more to it.
It’s important to determine the real reason behind your child’s dislike for your partner before you can move forward or make any decisions. You might not agree with their reasons but it’s important to listen to them and hear them out. Your teen may feel:
Like they are being pushed out or are being replaced.
Jealous of the time you now spend with your partner.
Guilty or upset for the parent who has been ‘left behind’.
Embarrassed at the thought of you having a romantic relationship.
That there’s something not quite right about your partner.
As if your new partner doesn’t like them.
Talking To Your Teen
Sit your teen down, just the two of you, and ask them to talk to you about their reasons. It may become clear that your teen is reluctant to accept a partner in your life right now. Your teen needs patience and time to get to grips with these changes and to develop a relationship with your new partner.
Your teen may feel as if they are being pushed out or forgotten about, now that you have a new partner in your life. This is a very common emotion for a child to feel and it’s normal for them to have doubts and worries about ‘sharing’ you with someone else. They might need a bit of reassurance from you that their position in your life won’t change. A lot of teens just need to know that they are still loved and wanted as much as they have ever been.
Addressing Bad Behaviour
If your teen has been rude or aggressive towards your partner then this, of course, needs to be addressed. Make it clear that it’s not acceptable to behave disrespectfully, even if they don’t like your partner. Instead, encourage your teen to talk about why they feel this way and see if there are any solutions you can offer.
This works both ways. Your partner’s reaction to your child’s hostility or coolness can drastically shape the outcome of this situation. By remaining calm and setting firm ground rules, making it clear which behaviours are unacceptable, your partner is much more likely to make progress in building a relationship with your teen. Reacting in anger or in the heat of the moment will only make the situation worse and is likely to strengthen the feeling of hostility your teen already has. If your partner is reluctant to make these efforts, this may be an unhealthy sign of things to come and perhaps the time to reconsider this relationship.
Building Bridges
If your teen has no serious, underlying issues about your partner other than jealousy or fear of losing you to someone else, there are ways you can try to nurture a relationship between them and your partner. It can help to have your ex on board if they’re willing to help out – sometimes a child feels a sense of guilt for bonding with the person who they see as having taken their mother or father’s place. Your ex talking positively about your new partner and showing support for your new relationship can make a big difference to how your teen feels and acts.
Most of all, your teen probably wants to be included. Make time in your life for 1-2-1 time with your teen, as well as your partner. Be patient and begin to build up on time spent together – you, your partner, your teen and any other children in the family. After time, hopefully, tensions will ease as your teen starts to relax a little and becomes used to your partner.
Let your teen set an activity for you all to enjoy. Their choice (within reason!). This gives them a sense of control over the situation and allows them to be a part of the decision-making within this newly-blended unit. Like most family turmoil, healing and moving on takes time, patience and understanding. Yes, this may have gotten off to a rocky start, but things can get infinitely better if everyone puts in a little effort.
In some cases, a teen might suggest moving out at 16, while this is technically legal it is not a great idea for a number of reasons.
When It’s Serious
If your child has concerns about your partner’s personality or is in fear of them, it’s important to listen. They may have seen or experienced something you were unaware of. It can help to reach out to other family members to see if they have noticed similar character flaws. If any allegations of abuse or mistreatment are made, you have to take these seriously and do what’s best for the mental and physical safety and wellbeing of your child.
More help for your teen: https://hiddenstrength.com/for-me/family-and-relationships/relationships/im-jealous-of-my-step-family/
My 11-year-old is so jealous of her little sister it’s causing us havoc
My eldest daughter is 11. She has a younger brother aged nine and a four-year-old sister too. I think she suffers from jealousy. Her little sister is the focus of her wrath. She encourages her younger brother to join in the meanness but luckily his heart isn’t in it.
Her dad tries to put manners on her (he is very firm with her) but it only leads to more rows and misbehaviour. Mealtimes, morning times — any time we have to be somewhere are all a disaster. The whole house ends up in a heap. What could I do with my daughter to stop her being so jealous of her sister?
David Coleman replies: The issue of your house ending up “in a heap” may not just be about your daughter’s jealousy. It may also be about how you and her dad are responding to that jealousy.
But, let’s start with your hypothesis that jealousy is the root of her behaviour towards her sister. You describe that she gets very angry towards her sister and is mean to her.
If so, then she may be like many eldest children. She probably feels that her little sister is more favoured and more loved than she is.
This may have started when her sister was born and was treated, naturally, as the little baby of the family, garnering lots of love and attention from everyone.
Your eldest daughter may have felt like she was losing out from all the focus on the little baby. It is hard for children to explain feelings of jealousy to parents, as most parents don’t want to accept such feelings.
Invariably, parents end up either protective of the other sibling or cross with the jealous child for being so petty and not being open-hearted to their sibling.
So, if they don’t feel they can tell a parent, most children try to show their displeasure and jealousy by taking it out, angrily or meanly, on their sibling. Subconsciously they may be trying to punish their little brother or sister for taking away their parents’ love, attention or approval.
It is as if they blame their sibling for they, themselves, being out of favour with their parents.
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It is easy to see how this can set up a negative spiral of interaction. The more cross they are with their sibling the more they get given out to by their parent; the more they get given out to, the more they may blame their sibling and the crosser, or meaner, they may become.
I am struck by your phrasing “her dad tries to put manners on her (he is very firm with her)”. This suggests to me that her dad is quite authoritarian in his approach.
I wonder if he relies on lots of consequences or punishments to try to discipline her when he sees her behaviour is bold?
If so, it is no wonder that his efforts to discipline her just lead to more rows and more misbehaviour, in line with the negative spiral that I have just outlined.
I’d imagine you and her dad giving out to her, or punishing her, probably exacerbates her jealousy. She probably views this as further evidence that you love her sister more than her. In her mind this may lead to her being mean to her sister in return.
So, rather than continuing to pursue strict discipline with your oldest daughter, I would suggest you try a whole different approach and try to understand her rather than punish her.
I’d recommend you go with your gut instinct about jealousy being at the root of her misbehaviour. Talk to her, openly, about her feelings about her sister, giving her both permission and opportunity to say how she really feels.
I once read a great explanation of how it can help children to express some of their bad or negative feelings. That explanation was simply that; “until the bad feelings come out, the good ones can’t get in”.
While this is a simplification, it does describe how children need to have a safe platform to express the ‘bad’ or dark thoughts and feelings they may have. Then with more emotional space available they can acknowledge the good feelings that otherwise get ignored.
Your daughter needs to know that she is allowed to give out about her sister, to you and her dad, without repercussion.
I think you may find that if she knows you understand things, better, from her perspective, that she won’t need to keep acting meanly and angrily towards her sister, meaning you will see much less misbehaviour from her.
My eldest daughter is 11. She has a younger brother aged nine and a four-year-old sister too. I think she suffers from jealousy. Her little sister is the focus of her wrath. She encourages her younger brother to join in the meanness but luckily his heart isn’t in it.
Her dad tries to put manners on her (he is very firm with her) but it only leads to more rows and misbehaviour. Mealtimes, morning times – any time we have to be somewhere are all a disaster. The whole house ends up in a heap. What could I do with my daughter to stop her being so jealous of her sister?
“SO SHOULD I ENVY OR NOT, DEAR PARENTS?!”
It was this question that a 12-year-old child asked his parents that recently ended one of my psychological sessions.
Loving parents came to the reception with their teenage son. By and large, so far (they tried to focus my attention on this particular word), they did not notice anything terrible in the behavior of their child. Nevertheless, they began to worry about the decline in parental authority, which, in their opinion, began to be traced from the beginning of the new school year. In this opinion, both father and mother were united. It looks like it really was. All the unpleasant feelings that they experienced at the reception with a psychologist could be summarized in one word – vulnerability. What happened in just two months from the beginning of the school year with their son, if the parents so painfully felt the uselessness of their authority?
Everything turned out to be very simple. Since the new academic year, a new student has come to the class where the boy is studying. In their opinion, this is a child from a fairly wealthy family who has lived with his parents in the United States for two years. Naturally, from the very first days of his stay in a new class, he became the center of attraction for most of his classmates. His stories about a happy overseas life, his clothes, some of his “branded” student supplies did their job. The guys were sincerely interested in his personality, and, of course, many began to envy him.
Particularly impressive for some classmates was the birthday of this young “American”. His parents did their best. With true American flair, they put on a real show for their child and his new friends in their chic apartment. And friends were impressed, impressed to the fullest by the capabilities of their new “overseas” friend, including computer and gaming capabilities.
As you may have guessed, our young hero, that is, my teenager being consulted, was among those invited to this show. And his eyes, like those of his comrades, lit up, his head began to spin, and he, too, began to envy that it was possible to live “like this cool”. Well, then, as always happens in such cases, the lad threw out a fair portion of his admiration for his parents: “Mom, dad, that’s how he is, they are great there!” Then he shared his thoughts: “If only I could do this, if only I could do this!” And finally: “Why can’t you give me the same computer, the same games? Is it weak for you to buy me the same thing that his parents bought him? And tell me you love me!”
“Do you understand what happened to our child? Do you understand what happened to his soul? Now he is jealous of all the peers who have what he does not have. Now he reproaches us on almost every occasion when we cannot satisfy his next desire, ”the parents complained about their bitter life and at the same time about their ungrateful child. “Where did we go wrong? We tried to educate him correctly, by the strength of our example of honest and hardworking people. What have we not taken into account? Or maybe the whole generation of modern children is like that? These were the questions these parents asked me throughout our conversation.
I will immediately comment on this case. First, nothing bad happened. Secondly, parents needlessly blame themselves for pedagogical miscalculations. Thirdly, what this child is going through right now, what questions he asks his parents, and how he criticizes them – all this is normal. Yes, do not be surprised, it’s normal, it’s normal for teenagers. And since with such “tragedies” more and more parents come to see psychologists, frightened by the “envy that suddenly manifested in their children,” we have no choice but to deal with this problem together and without fuss.
So, to envy is, in a broad sense, to desire something (or someone), which (or someone) you do not have, but the other (others) has. Envy, apparently, appeared along with humanity. To envy is to try on other people’s views on life, only to try on passionately and actively. Envy is something that a person from the beginning of his conscious age (from 5–7 years old) will regularly encounter in his experience or the experience of other people throughout his life, seriously, rudely, visibly or collide, slightly touching, sliding along surfaces.
You can even say this: a person is doomed to envy. I foresee a lot of objections: “Bullshit! Nonsense! I have lived a great life. Everything happened in this life – both good and bad. But neither I, nor my children, nor the children of my children have ever envied other people. And this is also correct. This does not contradict the idea of the original envy of human nature. The thing is that different people are either fully or partially aware of envy, or experience it only unconsciously.
Why do people generally feel such a feeling as envy? Because a person, in order to feel confident and fully live among people, must constantly learn, compare, compare his life with the lives of other people, while remaining himself.
If a person from an early age learns to trust people, is open to them with all his soul, knows how to empathize with them, then such a person’s envy will take on a bright, joyful, kind character. Let us recall in this connection the well-known expression “I kindly envy him.” Note that here “I envy him” is closer in meaning to the expression “I’m happy for you.” The result is: “How nice it would be if, over time, everything would be just as great for me as it is for you. In the meantime, my friend, I am sincerely happy for you and your success.
It’s clear that such a wise attitude to the successes of one’s neighbor comes with age, and a child and teenager only learn such wisdom. And it is also obvious that if a child from an early age is taught to openly hate people, then in the future he will not be able to survive good envy. In contrast to this, he will certainly develop “black envy”, that is, such a form of comparing himself with another person, when the envious person does not experience anything other than anger in connection with the successes of another – up to the desire for his physical destruction, or, at least, all that associated with it.
The question arises: is kind envy always good for a child and a teenager? Is this the necessary psychological condition without which the normal human development of the rising generation is impossible? First, it’s not worth asking such a cool question. You can become a good person without experiencing good envy. Secondly, as we have already said, envy is a means, an instrument of understanding the world, but nothing more. If the means outgrows its goal, this is already bad, that is, if you envy the other more and longer (desire to become different), then you can imperceptibly get lost, lose your own “I”. An envious person kills his personality by trying to become different. And in this case, the difference between the impact of black and good envy on a person is only in time. If with black envy one’s own personality is destroyed instantly, then with good envy, if it is abused, the personality is destroyed gradually, gradually.
Here in a nutshell about the origin and purpose of such a complex human manifestation as envy. Therefore, adults should be wished wisdom and understanding of the current problems of their child. Parents should not take seriously and personally the overly emotional and immature performances of their children in the form of merciless criticism and childish whims. However, at the same time, parents are obliged to help children creatively process their envy without losing their face, that is, their personality. But this is an art that parents need to constantly learn.
By the way, while complaining about their child, these disgruntled parents from my example reproached him for his lack of study zeal. As an example worthy of emulation, they admired the son of their acquaintances, the same age as their “stooge”, who in the same 12 years had already achieved a lot. “He visits three serious clubs, he is already a candidate for a chess master, and at the same time he manages to study at a music school,” they admonished their son in the presence of a psychologist. Their son, obviously embarrassed, sadly listened to the moralizing of his parents, and then could not stand it and asked: “So, should I envy or not, dear parents? I’m kind of confused.”
At this point our psychological session ended. We will also finish our story and wish all interested parents pedagogically successful answers to such questions.
What is envy, how does it manifest itself in children and what to do if a child is envious
It is difficult to remain calm when a child is overcome by envy. In these moments, we ourselves experience different feelings and do not always know how to correctly respond to the actions of children. Psychologist Maria Arsentieva and the Foxford online school talk about the right attitude to children’s envy.
There are no bad emotions
Psychologists distinguish ten emotions, including joy, anger, fear, surprise. From emotions, knowledge and desires, cocktails of feelings are obtained. Envy is a feeling based on the emotion of anger.
It is wrong to think that some emotions are needed and others are not. Just as we do not divide body parts into useful and harmful, so we should not divide experiences into good and bad.
All feelings have a biological basis. And in nature, everything is expedient. If a feeling arises, then it is necessary, because it gives a signal: “Everything is fine” or “Houston, we have problems.”
Envy speaks of a desire to receive something of great value. Notice that neither adults nor children envy everything in a row. Someone does not feel safe without a fur coat or an iPhone. Others lack the status of a bridesmaid to be completely happy.
How envy manifests itself at different ages
In young children, envy takes the form of jealousy. If a child sees a manifestation of love nearby, which he does not have in abundance, he tries to draw attention to himself.
Preschoolers seek recognition from their parents. It becomes important for the child that his help, deeds and talents be noticed. We ourselves feed envy if we compare children with others: “You see, Makar has been in the section for only a year, and is already participating in competitions. Katya is already washing the floors herself, and you won’t even wipe the dust.”
The child understands that a good attitude must be earned. It is useful to encourage deeds, but when we approve children only for their work, they stop appreciating themselves. A child dependent on other people’s external assessments feels good because others think so, and not because he is confident in himself. Without internal support, it will be difficult for him to survive the inevitable failures in adulthood.
Schoolchildren envy the popularity of their peers and try to imitate them: dress the same way, buy the same gadgets and relax. If envy torments a child in adolescence, he probably did not receive your love at an earlier period. In order not to “lose” a child, it is better to seek help from a psychologist.
Every age has its own needs. The new envy builds up on the old one and distorts the personality. The child grows anxiety, discontent and self-pity.
If I don’t have it, I’m worse than the one who has it
A child who constantly feels deprived grows up angry and greedy. Adults want to help him “correct” and stop unwanted manifestations of feelings. Instead of relieving tension, parents clog the energy of envy. But any energy seeks a way out and finds it. The child becomes naughty and rude, does not understand what is happening to him or starts to get sick.
The fate of children’s envy depends on the words and actions of parents. We can reject, forbid a feeling, or we can show how to use its energy.
How to help your child cope with envy
If you notice that your child is jealous, listen to yourself. What do you feel: shame for the child in front of society; guilt for not giving him something; anger that he does not meet your ideals or fear that he will grow up envious; perhaps irritation and confusion.
Separate your emotions from your child’s. Confess to yourself your fears and expectations. Think about where they came from and what their sudden manifestation can lead to. Don’t look for someone to blame. Understand what you want and how to get it.
When you have named your feelings, treat the child’s envy with calm interest. Show that you hear him, repeat in response: “you are angry with Kirill because he sleeps with mom and dad, and you are in your bed”, “you also want to go to an amusement park”, “you are angry, because I didn’t give money for a new phone.”
Recognizing the child’s right to be angry and wanting is an important step towards overcoming the contradiction. Take your time. Some people need time to revel in their grief, suffer and cry. Sobbing will bring relief. When the child calms down, it will be easier to agree. Hug him, tell him that you sympathize, and try to help when he is ready to talk.
When the storm subsides, talk to the child. Often, due to frustration, we see everything in black. Some need help to see the full picture. Tell us how you appreciate the help of the child and rejoice in his success. Remind him that on his birthday he got everything he dreamed of. Hint that new purchases can be timed to coincide with the next holiday or save money and buy for no reason. In the meantime, let’s make a wish list.
Invite the older child to play alone when the baby is asleep. Discuss with the preschooler what attractions he wants to ride and agree on when this can be arranged. To relieve emotional tension, ask your child to draw a reminder for you – pictures where you eat ice cream together on a Ferris wheel.
Don’t criticize a teenager’s desire to buy something you think is ridiculous. Better tell him how to carry out his plan. Money can be saved or earned. Privileges and rights can be earned by taking on new responsibilities around the home.
And most importantly, be patient. You cannot speed up the process, but a wise attitude to childhood experiences will bear fruit, just give it time.
Photo: iStockphoto (EvgeniiAnd)
Children’s envy how to recognize what to do and what is dangerous
How often does your child throw a tantrum at the sight of a bright toy in the hands of a peer? Or, even worse, breaks someone else’s thing and calls its owner bad words? Such behavior is not a whim or pampering. In most cases, it is provoked by envy.
Manifestations of envy
Not in every situation, adults manage to recognize children’s envy, so they attribute the bad behavior of the baby to bad manners. “What an ugly boy! Ruined my friend’s car! Your parents didn’t teach you good manners,” the teacher of a naughty child scolds.
Alas, she does not understand the reason that prompted the boy to such an act. This is envy. The child was overwhelmed with emotions, thoughts flashed through his head: “What a cool truck! I would like this! Why does Petka have it, but I don’t? Petka is a fool! Now I will arrange for him!”
The child is not yet able to independently understand the cause of his irritation, control feelings and suppress the subsequent reaction. So he commits unseemly acts under the influence of negative emotions.
“In my opinion, children’s envy is no different from adult envy. Is that it is more open, frank and direct.
The emotions and feelings that children and adults experience with envy are the same. But the external manifestations are different.
An adult has learned to control himself and can hide his envy, but the child has not yet developed self-control. And if he has not been taught in any way about the external manifestations of envy, he will show it without any hesitation. The smaller the child, the brighter these manifestations, up to hysteria and aggression,” says Victoria Filippova, specialist in human potential assessment and talent development.
As an example, the expert proposes to analyze several situations.
No. 1 Envy contrary to common sense
The family is celebrating the birthday of their eldest daughter. The youngest is aware that now they will congratulate her sister, give her gifts, admire her. She understands that this is someone else’s birthday, that she will have her own, which means that they will prepare a bunch of gifts for her.
But when they start to dance around the sister, when they give gifts and show all kinds of signs of attention, the younger girl gets hysterical.
Hence the conclusion – you can talk to the child in advance, explain the upcoming situation, and he seems to understand everything, but he will not be able to control spontaneous emotion.
For him, the feeling of envy that has arisen is similar to resentment, he thinks: “It’s a shame that now I don’t get everything.” And this despite the fact that the gifts that are given to the older sister are not really needed by the younger one. So, the birthday girl was given an easel for drawing, and her sister is not fond of this at all. It’s just that she also wants to receive a gift, because it is a sign of attention, a symbol of parental love.
No. 2 Envy that encourages destruction
Envy often leads to unconscious or conscious sabotage. My average son has a large group of friends about the same age as him (6-8 years old). Somehow, grandfather brought us a toy – a Kalashnikov assault rifle from Detsky Mir. Very beautiful, just like the real thing! And also a saber, a pistol and military ammunition.
Boys run around here with simpler weapons. In just a few days, they broke all of my son’s new toys out of envy. As if they accidentally dropped it on a stone, as if they had accidentally torn off the belt on which the machine gun hung.
But in fact, their jealousy manifested itself in this way. The principle “I don’t have this, so let him not have it!”
It is much easier and calmer when all the children have approximately the same things: wooden guns, plastic pistols.
It happens that envy manifests itself in such bravado: “Oh, this is not fashionable! Sucks! Is not cool!” The flaunting child actually really wants to have it, but for some reason can’t. Probably, parents do not consider it necessary and useful to buy this or that toy, drink, sweets. And the child, in order not to show his true feelings, demonstrates that he does not need it, and thus devalues.
Anastasia Mordkovich, psychologist-teacher, believes that children’s envy, unlike an adult’s, manifests itself towards the object that caused this feeling.
Adults may envy the financial situation of a particular person, but at the same time treat him well. The child, envying a peer’s toy, will show aggression towards him.
Another feature of children’s envy, according to Anastasia Mordkovich, is that it can spread to the entire object. For example, a child who hasn’t been ridden on a pony says, “I hate those ponies!”
Envy and the age of the child
In different years of life, children manifest their envy in different ways. The object of envy also changes. According to Natalia Fesenko, founder and head of the International Institute for the Development of the Future, preschoolers literally “mirror” the behavior of their parents. Therefore, if you yourself are jealous of friends or colleagues, be careful – the child can take an example from you.
“Envy is based on the emotion of anger. Envy signals a desire to get something very meaningful. In toddlers, envy can take the form of jealousy. If a child sees a manifestation of love nearby, which he does not have in abundance, then he tries to draw attention to himself. A child, surrounded by parental care, easily switches his object of attention, and does not get hung up on the object of his own envy, ”says Natalia Fesenko.
During the school years, the child’s needs are transformed. He also needs love and recognition, but now he also focuses on peers.
Natalya Fesenko notes that during this period, children begin to envy the popularity of their friends and classmates. And if you add this to the problems that were not solved in the preschool years, you get a layer cake of envy and irritation.
“The child becomes anxious, dissatisfied, arouses pity for himself, and subsequently grows up embittered and greedy. Adults want to help him, sometimes suppressing the negative manifestations of such feelings. Instead of relieving tension, they begin to forbid, get angry at the child. And the child does not satisfy his need for recognition and love from his parents, while the tension increases, ”the expert comments.
Parental assistance
How to act if your child is jealous, and you do not want to aggravate the situation and provoke problems in the future?
First, understand that envy is a normal feeling. There is no need to be ashamed and scolded for it. But letting everything go by itself is not a good idea.
Victoria Filippova said that adults often come to see her, dreaming of getting rid of their painful conditions, in particular envy, which they did not learn to work with in childhood.
The expert invites clients to direct negative energy in a different direction. And it is important for a person to understand what else he is ready to focus his attention on. However, with a child, this technique will not work.
“Fairy tale therapy helps children best of all. Tell a story about a mouse who was jealous of a cat and nothing good came of it. And how everything worked out when the mouse realized how nice it is to be yourself. It is important to explain these feelings to the child, to allow them to experience and teach them to live. The child must understand that he will not be punished for being envious. Anyone has the right to experience this,” says Victoria Filippova.
It is also very important to help the child find his true values and needs. So, in a situation with the envy of the younger sister to the older one, who was presented with an easel for her birthday, parents need to ask: “Why are you upset? You wanted a bicycle, not an easel. Or do you like to draw now?
In addition, moms and dads can tell the child how to be happy without certain things, how to earn respect from friends and become the soul of the company.
“Explain that being “cool” is possible not due to a toy, but due to the ability to run fast, dance, count to a thousand, or amuse friends. This will help reduce the manifestation of envy, including in adulthood,” notes Victoria Filippova.
At the same time, do not deny the child’s need, especially when it comes to a teenager, for things that seem ridiculous and unnecessary to you. Sometimes we do not understand the importance children attach to certain objects, and by devaluing their desires, we cause serious injury.
“Consider your child’s true needs with calm interest. Talk when the storm of emotions subsides. Recognize the needs of the child and tell him how to fulfill his desire. Teach your child to use the feeling of envy as an impetus for certain actions,” recommends Natalia Fesenko, founder and head of the International Future Development Institute.
Psychologist-educator Anastasia Mordkovich agrees that if the situation develops favorably, envy can serve as an incentive to achieve a goal.
Otherwise, it provokes the formation of beliefs for many years, and even for life. So, a child who is envious of the school successes of his classmates begins to believe that all excellent students are boring, all rich people are bad, if parents buy toys they are good.
In this situation, Anastasia Mordkovich advises to separate the subject and the object. High achievers bore? Are you also a bore when you get “five”? And there are bores who have bad grades?
Communicate with your child as often and as confidentially as possible. Don’t be angry because, with his envy and controversial desires, he doesn’t live up to your ideal. And do not forget that any emotion of a son or daughter is an occasion to better understand their thoughts, feelings and actions.
Everyone experiences envy: both adults and children. However, envy envy is different. If this condition occurs from time to time, when a person doubts his abilities or feels insecure, you should not beat the alarm. But if the feeling of envy begins to prevail over the others, then it can thoroughly ruin life.
Your child is a little envious. How to define it?
Often, it cannot even occur to an adult that his child is gnawed by envy – the object of the child’s passion seems so insignificant to him. However, even at the most tender age, this feeling can be not only strong, but also long, and most importantly, destructive. It is important to understand in time that your child is jealous of a friend. Childish envy has several appearances.
Practical activities. In anger that he does not have such a car, a child can ruin someone else’s toy or break a craft for which his friend received the praise of an adult.
Imitation. The child really likes the thing that his friend has, and he begins to ask his parents for exactly the same thing or creates it in his imagination and demonstrates to his loved ones invented actions using it.
Criticism. This is an attempt to reduce the value of what is the object of envy. “There is nothing special about his victory”, “This doll is ugly, I have a hundred times better at home” – statements characteristic of such behavior.
Ignore. An attempt to protect himself by creating a real distance between himself and the desired object: the child refuses to play with it if a friend offers it, and generally tries to communicate with other children, and not with the owner of the object of envy.
Camouflage. This method is often used by older children, from 7 to 16 years old, it is beyond the power of preschoolers. Such envy is more difficult to recognize. An envious person does not rejoice for a friend who has achieved success in something or has become the owner of a new gadget, but he sympathizes with the failure or breakdown of the desired thing from the bottom of his heart.
The origins of envy
What causes envy? On the surface, of course, is an object (such as an expensive gadget) or an event (such as an interesting trip abroad or winning a competition) that a peer has in his life, but your baby does not. Healthy envy is a fleeting feeling in which both joy for a friend and a desire to repeat his achievements are mixed.
” If a child envies for a long time, stubbornly, painfully, then, of course, it’s not about a tablet or a cup. The child wants attention, approval, respect and, finally, love. So chronic envious people almost always suffer from low self-esteem: the child thinks that he is the worst in everything, and believes that the coveted prize will correct the situation in an instant. However, because of the same low self-esteem, he is afraid to do something in order to achieve high results – a vicious circle is obtained.
If parents notice that their child is full of envy (although this rarely happens in such a situation), they begin to treat the symptoms, not the cause: they scold the child for unworthy feelings or try to make the child happy with an expensive toy. This does not solve the problem, because in fact, love and attention from this no longer becomes. To fix the spoiled parent-child relationship in some way, a long work is needed, it is advisable to connect a psychologist to it.
Envy, go away!
Another situation: parents do not help the child overcome envy, moreover, they themselves instill this feeling in him, literally teaching him to envy everyone and everything. If you are sure that, in general, everything is in order with your child and low self-esteem is unusual for him, but you do not know how to teach him to respond correctly to other people’s successes, then here are some useful tips.
The most correct way is a personal example. If you allow yourself to speak negatively about acquaintances, to level their successes and achievements, your children will definitely be envious.
Help your child become aware of his feelings. Let him know that from time to time everyone gets angry, angry or jealous, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Admitting that you are jealous is the way to overcome this destructive feeling.
A good method of dealing with envy is the disclosure of the child’s personal potential. The more he does what he loves, the more successful he becomes and the less reason for envy he has left.
Show what envy can lead to using book or cartoon characters as an example.
Praise the child, emphasize his strengths and positive aspects, pay attention not to victories, even small ones. This will help develop a positive attitude towards others – a good inoculation against envy!
Remember! To prevent a child from becoming jealous, you should never do the following:
Don’t compare him to anyone. This leads to the fact that the child begins to constantly look back at others and evaluate his position on the scale of success.
Don’t make things into a cult. Instantly buying the same thing that other children have will lead to an increase in the child’s demands, and envy will not disappear anywhere.
Do not support boasting. This will not increase the child’s self-esteem and will not make him a leader among children, but he can become arrogant and snobby. Real authority is earned by deeds, not by expensive things or boastful stories – convey this idea to the child.
about children from 4 to 7 years Other articles of the author
What a good article, adults would do well to read it for themselves. For some reason, I didn’t see so many children envious of her as adults all the time
ChamomileInsect wrote:
burya wrote:
Everyone experiences envy: both adults and children.
Well. I would not generalize like that) Not everyone experiences envy.
The feeling of envy, rivalry is more typical for the people of our “civilized” world. Both adults and children, and children always take an example from their parents. Parents envy (neighbors, friends, actors, etc.) and children will envy. And it’s not surprising, because from all sides they offer you a bunch of “necessary” junk, with the help of which, supposedly, you will be happier.
I will give an example so as not to be unfounded. Once we were lucky enough to fly to Sri Lanka with a child. We lived in a surf camp, not far from the local village. And of course, I considered it stupid not to take advantage of the moment and not to study at least a little bit the life and customs of the local natives. And you know, I was surprised by what I saw. We walked under the streets among huts made of banana leaves and twigs, no fences. We saw many children in every house, cheerful and healthy looking. Everyone smiled at us and, of course, looked at us with interest (our fair-skinned little son aroused great delight among the locals).
And of course, by virtue of my nature as a “civilized” person, I thought that all children should have toys (then I still didn’t understand that those children didn’t need them, just like ours) decided, with the permission of my son, to give them to children those toys that we no longer needed. Moreover, there were few of them with them. And of course, when I gave them this or that toy, a crowd of all the children gathered and everyone looked at it with interest. But what surprised me then was the completely peaceful interest on the part of the children. NOBODY tried to snatch the toy out of another’s hand, start shouting “mine”, or take possession of it in any other way.
The behavior that is inherent in most of our children was not in sight. There was no envy, there was no unbearable thirst to possess a thing. There was one curiosity.
This is about envy. There were other distinctive features of the behavior of children. For example, during the entire two-week stay in Sri Lanka, and daily walks among the local population, I never heard children screaming at each other, arguing, quarreling. Fights, assault by children or adults – this also did not happen.
It seems to me that by example plus talking about it, telling something, explaining to the child how good and how bad to do, but at the same time feeling envy is not bad.
burya wrote:
Everyone experiences envy: both adults and children.
Well. I would not generalize like that) Not everyone experiences envy.
The feeling of envy, rivalry is more characteristic of the people of our “civilized” world. Both adults and children, and children always take an example from their parents. Parents envy (neighbors, friends, actors, etc.) and children will envy. And it’s not surprising, because from all sides they offer you a bunch of “necessary” junk, with the help of which, supposedly, you will be happier.
I will give an example so as not to be unfounded. Once we were lucky enough to fly to Sri Lanka with a child. We lived in a surf camp, not far from the local village. And of course, I considered it stupid not to take advantage of the moment and not to study at least a little bit the life and customs of the local natives. And you know, I was surprised by what I saw. We walked under the streets among huts made of banana leaves and twigs, no fences. We saw many children in every house, cheerful and healthy looking. Everyone smiled at us and, of course, looked at us with interest (our fair-skinned little son aroused great delight among the locals).
And of course, by virtue of my nature as a “civilized” person, I thought that all children should have toys (then I still didn’t understand that those children didn’t need them, just like ours) decided, with the permission of my son, to give them to children those toys that we no longer needed. Moreover, there were few of them with them. And of course, when I gave them this or that toy, a crowd of all the children gathered and everyone looked at it with interest. But what surprised me then was the completely peaceful interest on the part of the children. NOBODY tried to snatch the toy out of another’s hand, start shouting “mine”, or take possession of it in any other way.
The behavior that is inherent in most of our children was not in sight. There was no envy, there was no unbearable thirst to possess a thing. There was one curiosity.
This is about envy. There were other distinctive features of the behavior of children. For example, during the entire two-week stay in Sri Lanka, and daily walks among the local population, I never heard children screaming at each other, arguing, quarreling. Fights, assault by children or adults – this also did not happen.
In general, five years have passed since then. And only now I accidentally started reading the book by J. Ledloff (probably many are familiar with it, but, unfortunately, I didn’t come across it before). In it, the author describes similar differences in the behavior of the children of the “civilized” world from the children of the Indians of South America. The latter are also completely alien to feelings of rivalry and envy. The book just reveals the reasons for this difference.
DrWeb Semitsvetik55 As I understand it, envy arises from the fact that a person does not feel fulfilled in matters that are interesting to him. He is spinning in a bustle like necessary, but boring things, and the soul asks for a holiday that does not exist. And it begins to seem that there would be more money – and it would be good. Or a bigger apartment. Or a trip somewhere (in general, substitute what you need yourself)
But in fact, a person just needs a sufficient number of interesting things for him. Moreover, this is not sitting with a TV or a computer, but creativity, where his inclinations are revealed to the maximum, and the soul is filled with happiness (or just pleasure).
When I realized this, I remembered everything that I loved to do in adolescence, when there was still no reference to adult values (such as study, work, career, money, etc.). I went dancing again, took up sewing, then creative self-realization – and my soul became calm! Yes, I still want more money and a new apartment, but this has ceased to be an obsession, and the feeling of envy towards more successful people has become very much. well, rather indifferent, or something
I agree that “how can we cope with this ourselves?”, because first you need to be able to overcome something yourself, and then only you can really teach children. I think the most important thing is to learn how to deal with this feeling on your own.
Envy is characteristic of all people, regardless of their age. However, it is necessary to distinguish between envy as a feeling that can rarely arise, during periods of doubt and uncertainty, and envy as a stable feeling that accompanies a person throughout life. To prevent your child’s short-term envy from becoming a real problem, “I’m a Parent” shares tips on how to avoid it.
How to understand that a child is jealous?
The expression of childish envy is usually very predictable. The object of envy is either some things (clothes, toys), or life circumstances (when a child’s peer wins a competition, receives praise for his actions from a caregiver or teacher, etc. ) A child’s feeling of envy can be recognized by the following manifestations: practical actions, imitation, criticism, ignoring or masking.
Practical actions are damage, destruction or removal of the object of envy.
For example, when one child angrily breaks another’s toy just because he doesn’t have one, or soils a drawing drawn by another child, for which he received the teacher’s praise.
Imitation is an attempt to recreate the object of envy. If the kid really likes the new car that was given to his friend, he begins to demand from his parents to buy him exactly the same one. Or he fantasizes that he already has it – tells mom and dad how he plays with her.
Criticism manifests itself in the exponential depreciation of the object of envy. For example, a child may say: “Nothing special”, “Your toy is ugly, I have better food at home.”
Ignoring is a kind of attempt to protect oneself. If a child is envious of a new construction set that one of the kids brought to the kindergarten, he specifically tries to be as far away from the desired thing as possible: he refuses to assemble the construction set together with the owner, defiantly does not talk to him, runs away to play with other children, etc. d.
The disguise of envy is often used by older children (7-16 years old). Babies just aren’t capable of that. Such envy is the most difficult to recognize. An envious child will not be happy for his friend or girlfriend for whom his parents bought a new toy or a fashionable gadget, but if the owner of the toy loses or breaks it, then the envious will sympathize with his grief with great pleasure.
Sometimes children’s envy may not have external manifestations at all, but all the same it spoils the life and mood of the child. In such a situation, the child himself may not even suspect that envy is actually the cause of his negative emotions. Only a child psychologist can help him understand his feelings and their causes in such cases.
Where does envy come from?
Ordinary dissatisfaction lies at the root of childish envy. The child lives calmly, is happy with everything, and suddenly discovers something in another that he liked so much that he immediately wanted to have it. And here envy appears – he has it, but I don’t.
Approximately the same thing happens when a child begins to envy someone else’s success. His peer won the competition, received a prize and universal recognition, and no one pays attention to him. Naturally, he begins to envy: he also wants to be noticed and appreciated.
In some cases, it is low self-esteem that is the root cause for the manifestation of this negative feeling. Children with low self-esteem think that they are worse than others in everything, and there is nothing left but to envy. Self-doubt prevents them from taking any action to become better, or achieve those results that cause envy. In such cases, parents will have to work, first of all, with the formation of adequate self-esteem.
How to help a child cope with envy?
The best example is personal. Children almost always copy the behavior of their parents, so if you yourself often discuss the acquisitions of your acquaintances in a negative way, criticize others and constantly compare them, do not be surprised that your child turns into an envious person. No matter how much you tell him that this is a negative and destructive feeling, until you yourself stop envying others, your child will not stop doing this either.
Teach your baby to be aware of his feelings. Explain to him that there is nothing to be ashamed of, since it is common for everyone to get angry, angry and, of course, jealous from time to time. It is important not to succumb to this feeling, but to understand and admit that you are envious is already half the battle in getting rid of this bad feeling.
Help your child discover their personal potential. If the child is busy with some business, then there will simply be no time for envy.
Using the example of negative characters from books or cartoons, show your child what envy leads to. Such heroes usually climb into someone else’s life, destroy someone’s happiness just because of this feeling, which is not easy to deal with.
Develop in your child a sense of self-confidence, praise him, name all his positive aspects, then he will positively relate to others. And the absence of some things for him will not be a difficult test, he will be happy that he is loved.
In order not to develop a feeling of envy in your child, check out what you should never do:
Compare the child with other children. Such a comparison only leads to the fact that the baby begins to live with a constant eye on others, and sometimes blackmail his parents.
Create a cult of things. Many parents, seeing that another child has a new car, immediately seek to buy their child the same one, hoping that in this case envy will not take possession of him. However, over time, children’s requests grow and grow, and mom and dad fall into a vicious circle.
Teaching a child to show off. Some moms and dads try to boost their child’s self-esteem by buying him the very best to make him feel special among his peers. As soon as such a child appears in kindergarten with an expensive toy or comes to school in new exclusive clothes, a crowd of kids immediately rushes after him who want to chat with a “cool” guy or girl. Naturally, the most “cool” likes his privileged position, he gets used to it, and eventually grows up to be an arrogant and boastful person. Remember that true love and respect can only be gained by deeds and behavior, and not by expensive things.
Victoria Kotlyarova
Do you always buy your child toys and sweets that he asks for? Does he get away with all the tricks or is your relationship built on the strictest discipline? Take our little quiz and find out if you are spoiling your child.
In religion and folklore, the concept of “envy”, as a rule, has a negative connotation, is a “human vice” and is condemned by others. Turning to the explanatory dictionary, one can find definitions of envy as “annoyance about someone else’s good”, “displeasure at the sight of someone else’s happiness”, or “desire to have what another has”. Since childhood, everyone has been familiar with the attitude “envy is bad” and, traditionally, children are taught not to envy each other and blame the emerging signs of envy towards others. However, can there be any benefit from envy?
The manifestation of envy in preschool children is a natural part of the process of growing up. A child of 2-5 years old has an idea that the world exists only for him, and only with age does he begin to understand that this is not so. Social experience teaches that, in addition to his and his desires, there are also the desires of other people. Children’s egocentrism (the perception of their own point of view as the only existing one) is eradicated only by 10-12 years. Therefore, with manifestations of envy in a child at preschool age, there is nothing to worry about: the desire to possess other people’s things and goods in this case is rather the rule than the exception.
In children of primary school age, the manifestation of envy can also be the norm, but in this case it is necessary to correctly identify the object of envy and evaluate its influence on the formation of the child’s personality.
1. The child is jealous of the attention and/or popularity of another child.
A child who is envious of attention to other children from peers is likely to experience difficulties in building communications. In this case, envy is a good motivation to learn how to communicate like “the same boy” does, to be as witty as a classmate, or as open and friendly as a neighbor in the stairwell. Here, the parent can help the child develop the necessary skills of social interaction with peers: send him, for example, to an acting school, gather children of different ages at home more often and, together with the child, come up with interesting games, contests and other activities for a large company.
2. The child is envious of the looks/successes/accomplishments of other children.
This case is somewhat similar to the previous one, but the child is jealous not just of the child’s popularity, but of the fact that he has some specific talents and abilities. Well, for example, the fact that a boy from a neighboring entrance plays football best of all or a girl from a parallel class sings best of all at school.
It is important to pay attention to two points here: how often you compare the child with other children, and what is his self-esteem. In no case should you compare the successes, character, appearance of a child with the successes, character and appearance of others, both in a negative and positive way. Constant comparison with someone does not contribute to the formation of adequate self-esteem. From children who are constantly compared with others, insecure, envious, dissatisfied adults grow up, adjusting their lifestyle to the lifestyle of “the rest”.
It is much more correct to be an assistant to the child in the formation of adequate self-esteem. It is necessary to fairly celebrate the merits and achievements of the child, to do this as specifically and targetedly as possible. Not “you are great” or “what a good child”, but “I am very pleased to see how you made the bed yourself, you did it just like an adult!”, “Today you behaved very courageously and did not cry at all at the doctor , how proud I am of you!”, “You have very beautiful freckles and they look so great with your hair color!” etc. The more specific and emotional your appeals to the child are, the clearer the child will understand what exactly he should value in himself.
Envy of the achievements and successes of other children can always be transformed into healthy competition. To do this, it is necessary to support the baby in case of failures, cheer up in case of defeats and give hope and faith in oneself on the way to achieving the goal. Explain to the child that nothing is impossible and that with a great and sincere desire to achieve something, everything depends on him and on the efforts made for this. Tell the child what actions he can take to achieve his goal, help him take steps towards it, believe in him and support him in his endeavors. And then, perhaps, envy of the achievements of others will disappear altogether and turn into respect for people who know how to make every effort to achieve their goals.
3. The child is envious of things that other people have.
If some thing is the object of envy, then first you need to analyze how much this thing is necessary for the child and how much the situation allows it to be acquired. It is necessary to figure out whether the object of desire is a whim and a whim, or, indeed, is of some value to the child. If the family decides not to purchase this item, the child must be clearly explained why this is not possible at the moment. If the thing is of high value to the child, then you can offer him to earn it. for example, excellent studies, good behavior, etc. If the child has entered adolescence, you can offer to earn the desired item during the summer holidays. As a result, the child, on the one hand, will learn to work, and on the other hand, he will acquire the first skills of “earning” what he wants and begin to understand the true value of things.
Thus, envy can become a good motivation for achieving goals with one’s own efforts, and the value of a thing earned by one’s own labor increases many times.
And yet: is envy useful or harmful? Everything depends on you. By supporting the child and developing his abilities, even envy can be made useful.
Psychologist Victoria Vostretsova
Surely your child has friends. Some people have fewer, some more, but one way or another, the company that surrounds a person affects him. How much influence do friends have on your child? Or maybe your opinion is more important to him? And does the personality of the child itself dissolve in the influence of others? Our quiz will help answer these questions.
Every parent sometimes notices signs of envy in a baby. Some adults say that their children are not very envious and do not worry about it. But if the kid is jealous of everything and we constantly hear: “Vanya has a red car, I don’t have it!”, “Masha can dance, I don’t”, how to help him fight envy?
Why envy appears
This feeling expresses an inner fear of being less important in the eyes of others – it occurs in both children and adults. One can envy the things of others or their successes.
Why are some babies more envious? It’s simple: the more self-confident the child is, the less envy he experiences. And vice versa: children with low self-esteem are constantly jealous. Therefore, one should not shame the envious. Such an approach will further reduce self-esteem, exacerbate the problem.
Explaining to a four- or six-year-old man that jealousy is bad is a waste of time. He will simply stop talking about his feelings, continuing to experience them. How to overcome envy, if it is impossible to say directly that envy is bad?
What to do if the baby is jealous of other people’s things
At 2–3 years old, children begin to understand that there are “own” and “stranger” things. We all met a baby who grabbed a toy with a death grip and screamed to the whole yard: “Mine!”. The thing does not necessarily belong to him. At this age, parents need to teach a little person to respect other people’s things. But respect for someone else’s is born out of respect for property.
First the child must realize that his things exist. Any exhortations of a two-year-old: “Don’t be a greedy person, give the boy a car, you have to share!” will lead to negative results. On the contrary, indicate that the new toy is the property of the baby and no one has the right to encroach on it without permission.
When the first stage is completed and the child knows that his personal things exist, it is much easier to explain that others may have their things, which must be respected and not taken without asking.
If a child has a desire to play with someone else’s thing, teach how to negotiate with the owner:
politely ask;
offer a temporary exchange for your toy;
invite all toys to play together;
play in turn.
The use of such a scheme from an early age reduces the likelihood of envy of other people’s things. After all, the baby knows that he himself has wonderful toys, and if you want to play someone else’s, you can agree.
Older children may envy those who have some special thing. Offer to borrow her for a while. Perhaps the interest will fade. If the child continues to dream about it, think about when you can buy the thing. Maybe it will be a birthday or New Year’s gift. The kid should know: special dreams are feasible.
If the purchase of the desired item is unacceptable, explain the reason. Sympathize that you cannot fulfill your dream: “You want a mobile phone like Maxim, but my dad and I believe that six-year-olds cannot use gadgets. I’m sorry the decision makes you uncomfortable. When you get older, you will have a mobile phone too! Think about what other birthday present would bring you joy?”
What to do if a child is jealous of other children and their achievements
Feelings of envy for the achievements of others usually appear after the age of four. Children begin to realize that someone is more successful in certain areas, and acutely perceive defeats in games, failure in something.
As already mentioned, they envy because of their lack of self-confidence.
If you notice that children are keenly jealous of the success of others, in everyday life, pay attention to the following:
Constantly tell and show your baby that your love is unconditional and does not depend on success.
Instead of “You don’t want to go to the pool! You’ll never learn to swim, dad and I were upset!” say, “You don’t like the pool? Tell me why. Even if I get upset, I will try to understand, because I love you very much.
Avoid comparisons. The more you point out the successes of other children, the more envy you cause.
Instead of “Vanya swims better than you!” say, “You swim better than last month.”
Sports competitions and games with losers and winners are best offered to children from 4–5 years old. You should not succumb to the child, but if you lose, sympathize. Remember: it is normal for children to cry when they lose at 4-5 years old.
Avoid constant destructive criticism. Try to criticize constructively, explaining how to achieve a better result.
Instead of: “What are those squiggles instead of letters?!” say, “Try writing the letters without going over the line.”
Emphasize the positive qualities of children. To be self-confident, a small person must know his strengths! So don’t forget to talk about them. Try to use specific phrases.
Instead of “You’re doing great with me,” say, “You already count so well.”
Lead by example by acknowledging the success of others. You should not admire the friends of your son or daughter (this can be perceived as a comparison). It is better to pay attention to the successes of other adults, family members or friends. Seeing your admiration, the baby will understand that each person has his own talents.
Instead of telling your husband, “You finally fixed the iron!” say, “It’s great that you fixed the iron! Dad is great at fixing things, I can’t do that!”
How to overcome the feeling of envy: first aid
The advice above is general and should be applied day in and day out. But how to help a baby who is experiencing envy right now? Parents will find the following tips helpful:
Don’t be ashamed. The exclamation “How ashamed to envy!” definitely doesn’t help the situation.
Speak the feelings. “Yes, Katya has a beautiful doll. You want to have the same one. Understand!”
Remember what toys or valuables the envious person has. “You have a similar doll, with pigtails.”
Try to turn a conflict situation into a friendly one, taking into account the success of everyone. “Maxim plays the piano very well, and you sing well. Shall we arrange a joint concert?
Even if you follow all the advice, get ready for the fact that children will sometimes be jealous. After all, adults often experience the same. Remember, parents should minimize the negative manifestations of envy, and not eliminate the feeling completely. Try to teach children to experience “white envy” – a mixture of joy for another person and a healthy desire to achieve similar success on their own.
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For a child, a family is a talisman, a pantry of knowledge and a springboard to adulthood. It is in the family that a child receives the basics of knowledge about the world around him.
“They don’t even dare to think about her…” What to do if you encounter parental envy
Parental curl. The very combination of these words seems unthinkable: how, how can a parent envy a child?! This is nonsense! Absurd! Unfortunately no. Many – both parents and adult children – suffer from the poison of seemingly unnatural envy, but do not dare to admit that they know it personally. Well, it’s understandable: the topic is extremely delicate, filled with shame and pain . .. About who is at risk of becoming a victim of parental envy and how it can be bled, psychologist Anna Khidiryan told.
Taboo feeling
Parents who have the courage to admit to themselves that they are gnawed by envy of their own child, one, two, and counted. There are also few adult children who bravely face the truth. Even on the Internet, where you can hide behind a nickname, people are very reluctant to share their experiences and avoid this painful topic. And if they do write, it is often with great uncertainty and doubt : they say, can my mother really envy me?! Or does it just seem to me? So, on the network there are stories of confused young women who noticed that their mother flirts with their boyfriend (husband), preens for his arrival, meets him in skimpy outfits. The daughter believes and does not believe her eyes. “This happens because envy itself is an unapproved feeling. Due to the fact that envious people are actively condemned and condemned in society, it causes a lot of shame. And the shame of envying your child can be overwhelming. Therefore, envy is easier to deny than to recognize in oneself or one’s parent,” , explains the psychologist.
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Envy plays hide-and-seek
Absolutely all people experience envy – some less often, some more often, some have it moderate, some have it acute and obsessive. When another possesses something that we do not have, but really want to have, we can feel discontent, anger, a desire to deprive this good: to spoil, interfere, destroy. If person openly admits her envy to (“What a beautiful dress! I’m already jealous. Where did you buy it?”) and she is not “bloodthirsty”, there is no reason to worry. An unlawful feeling poisons neither the one who experiences it, nor the one to whom it is directed. But if envy is carefully hidden or strenuously denied, things are bad.
Unconscious envy overshadows the life of its “owner” and his relatives. At first glance, innocent phrases give it away (compare with the example from the previous paragraph: “Where did you dig up this dress? It makes you look fat, and sewn carelessly – the thread sticks out”), as well as actions, deeds that the envious person diligently disguises as care, gives out for concern, sensible remarks . So, a person who has long wanted, but cannot improve his living conditions, having got to a housewarming party, will scold the owners – in person or to himself: “Oh, why did you buy an apartment in a disadvantaged area. And the layout is unsuccessful, and you missed the floor. And what wallpaper is tasteless – I would never stick such wallpaper for myself. He is not able to share someone else’s joy.
One who is tormented by envy feels relieved if he finds some shortcomings , often small or contrived. It is as if he is arming himself with a magnifying glass and enthusiastically examines the flaws, ignoring the numerous advantages. “If at a generous dinner nine dishes out of ten are exquisite and tasty, and one turns out to be a little rustic, a person will pay attention to it. And a salad with “incorrectly cut” vegetables – which, by the way, may be conjecture – will overshadow the rest of the treats for him”, – Anna Khidiryan describes the peculiarities of perception of an envious person.
Envy at gunpoint
From painful, exhausting envy suffer people with acute internal deficiency . Moreover, the need can exist solely in the imagination of a person: objectively, he often cannot be called deprived, but he feels like that. “In his reality, he is a victim. For example, he lives with the certainty that in childhood he lacked the love and care of his parents. Although, in fact, mom and dad were quite loving, they provided everything necessary, in general they gave everything that is required for life, ” – says the psychologist. Only, perhaps, a girl from a wealthier family lived nearby – and a splinter got stuck in her soul: “But my parents didn’t take me to Bentley and didn’t send me to ski resorts in the Alps every year . ..” Or a woman is constantly unhappy with her husband: and his income is more modest than Bill Gates, and he promises to buy a mink coat only in six months. And the girlfriend received a fur coat as a gift as soon as she hinted – she was lucky with her husband … And you start asking the “poor thing” – and it turns out that the husband is devoted to the family, climbs out of his skin so that his wife and children do not needed. But the woman does not see this point-blank: someone else’s fur coat obscures her eyes.
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Envious people don’t know how to enjoy what they have. They are never satisfied with life. When they get something they want, their joy does not last very long. It is quickly replaced by oppressive thoughts: “But I don’t have that, and that, and that …” A person for whom the feeling of strong dissatisfaction has become familiar, clearly remembers situations of disappointment. He seems to get stuck in them and cherishes his grievances. “Once parents, finding themselves with a child in a store, did not buy him a toy that he liked – and already an adult calls this episode the main memory of his childhood. And he constantly criticizes the “heartless” mom and dad, not taking into account that thanks to their efforts there were many other toys in the house. With whom he enjoyed playing, – Anna Khidiryan gives an example.
Gallery of envious parents
Maternal envy is better studied, but paternal envy also has a place to be, it’s just that they talk about it less often. If women actively write about difficult relationships with their mother on the Internet and turn to a psychologist with this problem, then men who have suffered from the envy of their father are in no hurry to pour out their souls on forums or in a specialist’s office. In addition, the parent, not even realizing his envy of the child, instinctively hides it very carefully. “Nevertheless, accurate indicators of parental envy exist”, – says the psychologist and lists the most common types of envious parents.
♦ Aging woman . If a woman stakes on beauty and invests a lot of resources in her appearance, then aging for her is like death . She does not think of herself outside the context of “beauty”. She feels confident and interesting only because of external attractiveness – this is the main point of her identity. Appearing wrinkles and gray hair are a sign that she is becoming ugly, repulsive, worthless. The whole world is collapsing. And if a daughter blooms nearby, the woman clings even more desperately to the outgoing beauty. She does not feel joy because her daughter is growing up, becoming attractive, men are paying attention to her. On the contrary, it is a disaster for the mother. She tries to slow down time and disarm the “rival”, addressing her daughter with such phrases: “Why are you dressed up and wearing makeup like an Indian?”, caustically criticizing her appearance or flirting with her chosen one.
medicusself.pl ♦ Burnt woman . A woman who has never aroused much interest in men, or has experienced betrayal, or has been in a destructive relationship (with an abuser, an alcoholic, a gamer, etc.), may unconsciously envy a more successful daughter. However, the line between envy and intense anxiety is very thin and not always obvious, warns Anna Khidiryan.
If a mother warns without aggression: “Be careful!” – and, despite her worries and fears, she is glad that her daughter has many admirers and she can choose the one who she likes more, marry for love, then she is driven by anxiety. Anxiety can also be assumed if a woman, due to a traumatic experience, sees rapists, womanizers, nonentities in all men. The mother “attacks” her daughter’s suitors because she wants to protect her from what she herself had to endure.
And envy manifests itself in the desire to spoil the joy of daughter : “And he is plain, and his trousers are old, and some kind of car rattles.”
♦ Untalented or undeveloped parent . When an adult envy a child more gifted than himself, he puts obstacles to the development of his abilities . For example, under a plausible pretext, he does not allow you to attend a circle or section: “To drive too far”, “You won’t have time to do your homework”.
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If a parent dreamed of but did not receive a higher education, he can speak depreciatingly about him and advocate for a working specialty: they say, there is no sense in the “tower” – how many among people with university diploma sit without work or receive miserable pennies, so do not dry your brains, but get up quickly on the wing. The envious parent reproaches the disobedient child: “You hang on my neck”, refuses to financially support, although he has the opportunity to do so.
Obsession , which some parents discover when developing the child’s abilities, can also indicate envy. “My mother dreamed of becoming a ballerina as a child, but something didn’t work out. To heal her spiritual wounds, she enthusiastically sculpts a ballerina from her daughter. For such a mother, it is very important that the girl, called to fulfill her dream, demonstrates success. If the little ballerina is not diligent enough, a tyrant can wake up in her mother. And the refusal of a child to do ballet becomes a heavy blow, ” – says the psychologist.
♦ Deprivation parent . A person whose childhood fell on an era of total scarcity or who grew up in a poor family may envy a child who does not know what poverty is. An adult seems to be pleased and happy that he can give his son or daughter something that he himself did not see at his age: a separate room, beautiful clothes, expensive toys, trips to Disneyland. But if a child indifferently puts aside the tenth box of Lego or too sluggishly rejoices at the third pineapple in a week, the parent boils anger and indignation : “Ungrateful! He doesn’t appreciate what I didn’t even dare to dream of as a child!”
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People from dysfunctional families may be bitterly sad that they were unlucky with their parents. Although a childhood full of beatings and humiliation is in the past, and they themselves are not like their marginal mothers and fathers, they are seized by self-pity. And envy raises its voice: “Why did my child get warm and caring parents, but I didn’t? Why am I worse?
♦ Savings-obsessed parent . If a person has formed the habit of limiting himself in everything, buying only the necessary things and only when the old ones have become unusable, he is irritated to the point of impossibility by those who live more carelessly, know how to please themselves , easily part with the money earned. As soon as a son or daughter hints at the next purchase, such parents start a bagpipe: the money was spent unreasonably, it is quite possible to do without it, but what will you save for a rainy day … “It’s one thing when parents reproach an adult child who lowered his salary for pleasure and cannot, for example, pay a communal apartment or buy groceries. And it’s completely different – if he fully provides for himself, does not beg, and mom and dad are still itching: why do you need a microwave if there is a stove, or why do you need a new jacket if the old one has not lost its appearance yet, – the psychologist clarifies.
How to step on the throat of your envy: advice to parents
Recommendations can only be given to parents who are even slightly aware of their envy. There are very few of them. Most envious mothers and fathers do not even have the thought that they are in captivity of an insidious feeling.
A parent who recognizes or suspects envy of a child is often tormented by shame, overwhelmed by thoughts of his inferiority. In this case, it is important to internally agree that nothing out of the ordinary is happening . “Denial and self-flagellation will not bring relief”, – emphasizes the specialist. Man is a complex being, his psyche is multifaceted. In any adult there is a children’s part – the so-called. an inner child who may envy another, happier boy or girl. “But at the same time you also have a parent who wants to please his child and is able to rejoice when he feels good . This joy softens sharp, unpleasant feelings,” says Anna Khidiryan.
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Reduces envy and fulfillment in an attractive area. So, women who are painfully experiencing the departure of youth and beauty can find solace in activities that were previously inaccessible. While the child needed care, the mother only dreamed of traveling, or defending a dissertation, or breeding new varieties of flowers. And when the daughter grew up, the mother got a second wind, because she can finally devote herself to the cause to which the soul lies. Someone is happy to try on the role of a grandmother. Each age has its advantages – look for them.
How to communicate with envious parents: advice for adult children
With a parent who does not admit to envy to himself, it is useless to start a conversation about it, even very gently and carefully. They will not hear you, and will start to defend themselves : “Yes, I’m worried about you, I wish you well!”
You can try to find a contact using Self-messages : “I feel bad when you say that”, “I was hoping/hoping to get support from you”, etc. If the parent is very intrusive and over and over again seeks to break through your boundaries, nothing can be done – it will take hard rebuff : “Don’t mess around, I’ll decide it myself!”. A person who is afraid of conflicts will begin to bypass a topic that is unpleasant for another.
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If attempts at constructive dialogue fail one after another, well, the only thing left to do is accept the feature of the parent . And if possible, do not talk about what will predictably cause a negative reaction in him.
“In childhood, we are all very dependent on our parents, we look at ourselves and the world through their eyes. But the older we get, the more opportunities we have to refresh our eyes and get acquainted with other “world orders”. Leave to your parents what you don’t like or don’t like. Adopt someone else’s attractive experience. Enjoy the freedom of choice and desire”, – summarizes Anna Khidiryan.
What to do if a child is constantly jealous of others?
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Envy is characteristic of all people regardless of their age. However, it is necessary to distinguish between envy as a feeling that can rarely arise, during periods of doubt and uncertainty, and envy as a stable feeling that accompanies a person throughout life. To prevent your child’s short-term envy from becoming a real problem, “I’m a Parent” shares tips on how to avoid it.
How can you tell if a child is jealous?
The expression of childish envy is usually very predictable. The object of envy is either some things (clothes, toys), or life circumstances (when a child’s peer wins a competition, receives praise for his actions from a caregiver or teacher, etc.) A child’s feeling of envy can be recognized by the following manifestations: practical actions, imitation, criticism, ignoring or masking.
Practical actions are damage, destruction or removal of the object of envy.
For example, when one child angrily breaks another child’s toy just because he doesn’t have one, or soils a drawing drawn by another child for which he received the teacher’s praise.
Imitation is an attempt to recreate the object of envy. If the kid really likes the new car that was given to his friend, he begins to demand from his parents to buy him exactly the same one. Or he fantasizes that he already has it – tells mom and dad how he plays with her.
Criticism manifests itself in the exponential depreciation of the object of envy. For example, a child may say: “Nothing special”, “Your toy is ugly, I have better food at home. ”
Ignoring is a kind of attempt to protect oneself. If a child is envious of a new construction set that one of the kids brought to the kindergarten, he specifically tries to be as far away from the desired thing as possible: he refuses to assemble the construction set together with the owner, defiantly does not talk to him, runs away to play with other children, etc. d.
Envy disguises are often used by older children (7-16 years old). Babies just aren’t capable of that. Such envy is the most difficult to recognize. An envious child will not be happy for his friend or girlfriend for whom his parents bought a new toy or a fashionable gadget, but if the owner of the toy loses or breaks it, then the envious will sympathize with his grief with great pleasure.
Sometimes children’s envy may not have external manifestations at all, but all the same it spoils the life and mood of the child. In such a situation, the child himself may not even suspect that envy is actually the cause of his negative emotions. Only a child psychologist can help him understand his feelings and their causes in such cases.
Where does envy come from?
Ordinary dissatisfaction lies at the root of a child’s envy. The child lives calmly, is happy with everything, and suddenly discovers something in another that he liked so much that he immediately wanted to have it. And here envy appears – he has it, but I don’t.
Approximately the same thing happens when a child begins to envy someone else’s success. His peer won the competition, received a prize and universal recognition, and no one pays attention to him. Naturally, he begins to envy: he also wants to be noticed and appreciated.
In some cases, it is low self-esteem that is the root cause for the manifestation of this negative feeling. Children with low self-esteem think that they are worse than others in everything, and there is nothing left but to envy. Self-doubt prevents them from taking any action to become better, or achieve those results that cause envy. In such cases, parents will have to work, first of all, with the formation of adequate self-esteem.
How to help a child cope with envy?
The best example is personal. Children almost always copy the behavior of their parents, so if you yourself often discuss the acquisitions of your acquaintances in a negative way, criticize others and constantly compare them, do not be surprised that your child turns into an envious person. No matter how much you tell him that this is a negative and destructive feeling, until you yourself stop envying others, your child will not stop doing this either.
Teach your child to be aware of his feelings. Explain to him that there is nothing to be ashamed of, since it is common for everyone to get angry, angry and, of course, jealous from time to time. It is important not to succumb to this feeling, but to understand and admit that you are envious is already half the battle in getting rid of this bad feeling.
Help your child to reach their personal potential. If the child is busy with some business, then there will simply be no time for envy.
Use the example of negative characters from books or cartoons to show your child what envy leads to. Such heroes usually climb into someone else’s life, destroy someone’s happiness just because of this feeling, which is not easy to deal with.
Develop a sense of self-confidence in your child, praise him, name all his positive aspects, then he will also have a positive attitude towards others. And the absence of some things for him will not be a difficult test, he will be happy that he is loved.
In order not to develop a feeling of envy in your child, read what you should never do:
Compare your child with other children. Such a comparison only leads to the fact that the baby begins to live with a constant eye on others, and sometimes blackmail his parents.
Create a cult of things. Many parents, seeing that another child has a new car, immediately seek to buy their child the same one, hoping that in this case envy will not take possession of him. However, over time, children’s requests grow and grow, and mom and dad fall into a vicious circle.
Teaching a child to brag. Some moms and dads try to boost their child’s self-esteem by buying him the very best to make him feel special among his peers. As soon as such a child appears in kindergarten with an expensive toy or comes to school in new exclusive clothes, a crowd of kids immediately rushes after him who want to chat with a “cool” guy or girl. Naturally, the most “cool” likes his privileged position, he gets used to it, and eventually grows up to be an arrogant and boastful person. Remember that true love and respect can only be gained by deeds and behavior, and not by expensive things.
Victoria Kotlyarova
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How parents cripple their children
“The youth went wrong”, grumbles the older generation. Based on this message, it seems that, wherever you look, we are surrounded by effeminate men, “IT people” who are puppeted in their virtual world, emancipated hysterics and girls who only dream of how to marry a rich “daddy” as soon as possible. Not to mention alcoholics and drug addicts. Is the nation degenerating? Of course not. But the question of how to properly raise children is especially relevant today. Eyes run up from various “progressive” techniques. And parents go to extremes. Some allow almost everything to their children and then they are surprised that by the age of majority the child is not adapted to life at all. Others, on the contrary, make every effort to load it to the fullest, believing that the main task is to reveal the numerous talents of their offspring, without thinking about the fact that they are actually depriving him of his childhood. In both cases, the intentions of the parents are the best, but they “love” their children so much that they do not notice how they cripple them. Is there a golden mean? Today we will discuss this difficult issue with the psychotherapist Andrey Metelsky.
Who is this?
Andrey Metelsky has been solving the problems of fathers and children for more than a dozen years. By education, he is a pediatrician, adolescent psychotherapist, sexologist, in addition to this, a Gestalt trainer, certified trainer of the INTC center, co-founder of the Institute of Modern NLP. Enumerate the regalia of our interlocutor can be long enough. But is it necessary? The conversation with Andrey from the very beginning turned out to be difficult, uncomfortable and a little intimidating. Try to try on his thoughts and experience for yourself. We are sure that they will make you look at your life in a completely different way.
– Let’s start with the main one. Do we really maim children with our love?
– In order to understand this complex topic, let’s define the basic concepts. I’m afraid many parents will find it difficult to accept them, for sure it will be unpleasant. Parents don’t like children. What is meant by the term “love for children” in everyday life and in psychology is attachment. Love is a kind of inner state that just exists, I can experience it, but it cannot be directed at anyone. This means that love cannot be for someone or something. Therefore, what we experience throughout our lives in relation to our children is attachment, and it is akin to attachment to a bottle, a car, cigarettes, and so on.
The parents do not love the child, the parents love themselves in the child. We all strive to ensure that our offspring become successful in those areas where we did not take place. What toys do we give the child? Most often those in which they themselves did not play in childhood. In the same way, we love ourselves in some car, hanging spoilers on it, doing tuning and showing off to friends: “Look, what a cool car I have!” In the same way, we love a spouse – not this individual person, but ourselves in him: “Look what a long-legged blonde walks with me. It’s not that she’s so cool, but I’m cool because she chose me.” Of course, I’m exaggerating, but…
In order to love a child, you must first learn to love yourself. In part, this is a rather hackneyed phrase, but most people do not understand its depth. The trouble is that we all do not love ourselves, and here we get a paradox: how can you love someone in this case, because you simply do not have a behavior model! To love yourself is to be clearly aware of your needs and not replace them with surrogates and dependencies. For example, I now have a need for attention – and I will go to seek this attention, instead of smoking or drinking. If we begin to squander money, this means only one thing – that we subconsciously feel a lack of pride and are trying to compensate for it – again surrogately. If I love myself, by and large, I don’t need practically anything. This will be a statement that is very close to the truth. It was not in vain that the Buddha said: a person from birth has everything he needs.
And here’s another unpleasant fact for you: children are born because of a single motivation – the fear of death. If we were immortal, then most likely there would be no families or children. What for? After all, then there is no point in thinking about being remembered, there is no need to think about the “trace that you left”.
So we give birth to children in order to continue in them, to receive a substitute for immortality. That is why we begin to “love” our sons and daughters against their will: we give them to endless, completely unnecessary circles and sections, we torture them with total control. And it seems that we want them to be successful, but in fact it is not. Because, if you look at it impartially, we try to replace their unique life with our vision. We cannot admit to ourselves that a son or daughter is a completely separate person, and we desperately want to see in them an extension of our loved one. We are ready to cripple the child’s entire future life, if only to prolong the existence of a particle of ourselves as a person on the planet at least a little.
— Somehow, the topic we are discussing from the start has grown to a universal scale…
— Think about the scale using a simple example. When you make any contact with a child, ask yourself the question: is what I am doing now so that he will be successful, or so that I will be calm or amuse my ego? By and large, this is the only question that parents should be asking when they are engaged in parenting. I think that 80-90 percent of us will find the strength to admit: first of all, we think about our own peace of mind.
Let’s start with the simplest things. When our three-four-year-old toddler climbs slides and swings in the yard, we constantly pull him up. Based on what? First of all, based on your own peace of mind. Yes, the child may fall and get hurt. But this is his life! How else will he get a basic and correct idea of the world without stuffing his bruises and bumps? Naturally, everything is fine within reasonable limits. Knowing from experience that some actions are guaranteed to lead to injury, we prevent them. If you respect the child, then there will not be many such prohibitions.
— What about the maternal instinct, the heart that aches for its child?
– What I’m talking about. You are not thinking about your son, but about your sick heart. And while trying to replace the child’s life. The classic metaphor of modern parenting is a shout into the sandbox: “Senya, go home!” – “Mom, am I cold?” – “No, you’re hungry!” Our parents know better than a child what he needs. But it’s not like that! Each child is born as a separate person, he has his own mission on this earth, his own destiny. We cannot know this mission, but at the same time we stubbornly “educate” the child. Rave!
Love for a child implies respect. I respect whatever decision he makes. Yes, I can assume that this decision may not lead to very good consequences, and I will warn him about it.
— And let me choose?
– That’s right here – the main mistake. To allow one to choose is again to dispose of property. I repeat: I respect his choice. Linguistically, everything is very accurately reflected.
– The child says: “I’m tired of school, I don’t want to go there…”
– Don’t go!
– Can you imagine the consequences?
— I had such teenagers. They consciously abandoned school, and I recommended that their parents not prevent them from doing so. Here is an example of a striking situation. The teenager studied in each class for two years, was a loser, fought, was completely uncontrollable. After our training, the mother came home and handed over responsibility for her life to him. That is, she said: do as you see fit. He left school the same day. A week later, he got a job, and a month later, of his own free will, he brought documents to an evening school. The guy made good money, eventually became an excellent student, and today he is a fairly well-known director in Moscow. He was given responsibility for his life, and he built it the way he wanted …
— That is, parents should not think that they can act as a “deterrent”?
— I have been working with families — parents and children — for many years. I can tell you: if a child is respected and understood that he should be given the right to his own development, he always grows up brilliant, creative, flexible. A smart parent should be very attentive, observe what the child wants. If my two-year-old son liked to sit in my arms and count the passing cars, I stood with him for 20-40 minutes, realizing that in the future it would benefit him. When my son went to first grade, he was already adding two-digit numbers in his mind.
It bothers some parents that their child runs all day like a fool with a stick. Parents, this is great! Think back to your childhood! A found stick for a child is a whole world: a spear, a machine gun, an airplane steering wheel and much more. Why do we force a child who finds a stick on the street to immediately throw it away? Thanks to her, he builds the world, creates, develops imagination and intellect.
The world of child psychology is a very interesting thing in general. I will even tell you that ghosts or non-existent friends that a child communicates with are far from stupid. Why do we categorically declare that none of this exists? For a child there is, thanks to these “phantoms” he metaphorically develops, learns, gets rid of some of his fears. Even I, as a psychotherapist, do not always know what problem the child’s brain is currently solving, inventing some kind of allies for itself.
— Will sooner or later the respect for choice grow into permissiveness?
— In psychology, there are concepts of internal and external reference — these are the polarities that we build in our value system, and the value system that influences us from the outside. The child must be taught internal reference. Having collected information outside, he must be able to make a decision on his own. He can learn this only in practice, feeling freedom. Here is an example for you on the fingers, again from my personal life. I give my son pocket money. We went to a cake shop. I see that the child is pleased not only to eat sweets, but also independently calculate the required amount, get it out of the wallet. And so the saleswoman says to her son: “Look, baby, this is the most delicious cake, with cottage cheese!” The son looks up at her and says: “Thank you, but I can actually read.” At that moment I realized that I was doing everything right, that he had an internal reference. Even if he is offered drugs, it is unlikely that it will work: he has learned to make decisions himself.
Internal reference gives a lot, sometimes completely non-obvious things. For example, it allows you to stay healthy: we simply will not fall for the “advertising” of the flu. When I worked as a pediatrician, I noticed an interesting trend: a flu epidemic begins a week after anti-flu drugs were advertised in newspapers and the subway. People without an internal reference, reading the symptoms, are already ready for them, tune in to them. And then the disease appeared!
Inner freedom, of course, implies certain limits. Remember the basic rule of life that the hippies preached in the seventies of the last century? “Do what you like without disturbing others.” In my opinion, a very good idea. The child should be explained that his freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins.
— Now the Tibetan model of raising a child is very fashionable, which says that until the age of five one should treat him like a king, from five to ten – like a slave, and after ten – like an equal. The time frame may vary, but the general idea is clear. What do you think about it?
— Here it is worth understanding that in some matters the child simply does not have a base on which to base decisions. So it’s worth asking the question: before allowing everything, did you discuss what is right and what is wrong? Have you played situations, told about the consequences of this or that act? Without this base, inner freedom somehow grows into permissiveness.
This is really a big problem. Parents often talk about communication problems with their children, while they do not talk to them themselves! My position in this regard is clear: you need to talk with a child on an equal footing, not lisping, from the first minutes of life. And don’t tell me that lisping is a sign of tenderness. Do you know how children understand that they are loved? The only way is through the eyes. And now a question for parents: how often do you communicate with children, looking into their eyes with love? Most of the communication looks like this: the child mumbles something, and we answer him over his shoulder. At the same time, we are physically at different levels: we are higher, the child is lower. What kind of equality and mutual understanding can we talk about? Why are you surprised that in the end the child stops hearing you?
Let’s move on. Let’s think about it: when do most parents make eye contact with their child? That’s right – when they scold. Like, you did something, now look into my eyes. The most important channel of communication turns into a tool of suppression. It is logical that after that at my reception, on the street – yes, everywhere I see people who try not to meet your eyes. It comes from childhood! The channel is blocked, moreover, a negative anchor has been created: “If they look me in the eyes, then they will expose me now.”
If you scold a child, turn away. No wonder they put it in a corner before.
Now for some practical advice. How is the basis for a child’s decision made? He asks a question, you lower yourself to the level of his eyes (or sit him on the table) and conduct an equal dialogue.
When I worked as a psychotherapist in a dispensary, children who stutter were often brought to me. In 80% of cases, I could help with virtually the same simple advice. As soon as the child turned to you, drop everything and listen to him carefully: there is nothing else in the world for you at this moment!
Stuttering is most often not a fear, as grandmothers who need to earn money say, but a child’s dissatisfaction in communication. He wants to convey a thought to his parents, ask a question, but they do not hear him. Or they listen, but only the beginning of the monologue (which happens even more often). And now the child, trying to have time to speak out, speaks faster and faster, but his speech apparatus is not yet fully formed. Here he begins to stutter. And then it went in circles like a snowball. The child stutters, speaks more slowly, parents listen to him even less, and so on.
So in most cases, parents who had the wisdom and patience to fulfill this simple condition removed stuttering in a maximum of a month.
Children are not nonsense, they are wise, and I highly recommend listening to them carefully. What kind of love for a child can we talk about if we do not respect his opinion, his thoughts, his world. Let it seem to us that everything a child asks about is a banality, remember that for him the world is a series of discoveries. Do not prioritize “teaching”, concentrate your energies on “listening”.
— What signs in a child’s behavior should cause parents to worry?
– Any. It frightens me that in this enlightened age, many parents believe that nervous tics, enuresis, and stuttering are illnesses that have nothing to do with the psychological health of the child. I am sure that any illness of a child is a reason to ask questions: “What am I doing wrong? What happens in our relationship? The vast majority of children are very healthy and strong beings who “go into illness” primarily because of psychological problems.
Of course, anxiety symptoms are also any behavioral things that go beyond the rules recognized in society. In short, if you just don’t like something in a child, it’s already worth going to a psychotherapist or psychologist and sorting out the situation.
— By and large, it turns out that it is time for almost all parents to go to specialists?
Yes. And all because there is no institution of proper education in the country, we are not taught how to be parents. Therefore, all the “jambs” that were in the relationship with our parents, we project onto our children, adding our own as well. Moreover, in the overwhelming majority of cases, it is the parents, not the children, who should work with the psychiatrist. Over the many years of my work in a children’s and adolescent psychiatric dispensary, I rarely came across cases when it was really necessary to work purposefully with a child. Most often, it was enough to correct the behavior of the parents. A child is a light bulb, an indicator that something is wrong in the family. There is no point in treating him until the conditions in the family have changed. Otherwise, it will turn out like with the very text that I typed on the computer, printed out and found errors. Instead of correcting these errors, I continue to output more and more new copies to the printer with the stubbornness of a maniac in the hope that this will correct the situation …
— Can a parent look at his actions impartially and correct something on his own?
— Of course not. The system cannot change itself, it is changed only by going beyond. The ideal solution is to work with a specialist. Alternatively, seek advice from a trustworthy person who is successful with their children.
— How much do kindergarten and school help in raising children?
– They don’t help at all. We, parents, educators and teachers, have long been confused and forgot two simple things. School and kindergarten – teach, family – educates. These two spheres must never intersect. And personally, I am sure that the school has no right to raise your child, and you should not do his homework. When they explained to me at a parent meeting how to fill out this or that notebook, I was surprised: “Why are you telling me all this? Discuss with your son: he is a student.” I withdrew from the learning process, and, as practice has shown, this is very useful. The teachers were initially shocked by this position, but very soon they realized that I was adamant, and we find a common language.
I’m not saying that I’m completely indifferent to what’s going on in the child’s school. If he asks me for help with his homework, I will do my best. But only in this case. I don’t check diaries, at one time I explained to the elder how to forge my signature, and I didn’t know the trouble. Not that I taught the child to lie, I just explained to him that in the modern world there are conventions that we are forced to comply with. No matter how idiotic they are.
By the way, in general, I think that if you go to parent-teacher meetings, then definitely with the child. This is his study, his life, his problems. How can you discuss them without the one for whom it matters most?
School and kindergarten, in addition to education, partly perform only one more function – the socialization of the child. It gives models of how to interact with other people, with society, with authorities. Those models that are sometimes built in our educational institutions, I do not consider healthy and normal. Therefore, compromises with the school should be as formal as possible.
– Parents are very afraid that their child will get into bad company, as a result – crime and drugs. Are there practical tips to reduce the risks?
– If such questions arise, then you have already crushed your child, completely suppressed his personality. Remember what we talked about: if you bring up an internal reference in your child, then in any company he will be a leader, and there should be no fear that someone will influence him at all.
If there is no internal reference, the only thing I can offer is training with professionals. You need to learn how to transfer responsibility for his life to the child, then, in my experience, everything is normal: the son or daughter will begin to think about the consequences, in which case they, as a rule, leave bad companies.
And remember that drugs appear in a child’s life when there is no mutual respect in the family and there is an attempt of total control by the parents. After all, those who sell drugs purposefully look for such troubled teenagers and offer them “freedom”. How are they drawn into a drug addict company and into sects? A person is told: “Here you will be accepted as you are.” Can you imagine how creepy that sounds to parents? That is, they do not perceive their child like that? It turns out that it is.
For someone it will be news that after five years the child is formed and we can influence his character very indirectly. What to do? First, it is completely useless to feel guilty about missed opportunities. Take the situation philosophically, I would even say karmically: everything that you could do, you did. Now let your children take responsibility for their own lives. Do it in stages if you’re scared right away. That is, if you transferred the responsibility for washing dishes, cups and mugs to your son or daughter, you no longer wash. If you have transferred responsibility for cleaning the room, then you never again look into it in order to check for the presence of a mess and never remind you of cleaning.
At first, the room will be a mess, believe me. At first, you will be tested: how sincerely did you transfer responsibility? And when the understanding that everything is serious comes (it usually takes from two weeks to two months), the child will decide how to live on. If the rest of the apartment is kept clean and the dishes are washed, with almost one hundred percent probability I can say that in the child’s room on some wonderful day you will see changes for the better. Perhaps it will be a different order, not close to you. This will be his order, and he will be comfortable in it. But is that really what we’re after?
Read also:
“There’s a big difference between a metrosexual and a gentleman.” Talk about well-mannered people
“Impressionable to death” — about the attitude of Belarusians to advertising and bright images
Has God come? Why does a modern Belarusian need faith and why does it become more popular every year
How to Handle When Your Baby Only Sleeps in Your Arms or On You
Home / Sleep Training / How to Handle When Your Baby Only Wants to Sleep in Arms or On Chest
by Nicole Johnson, Founder and Lead Sleep Consultant in Sleep Training —
This post is for all the parents whose baby only wants to sleep in arms or on chests.
There are a lot of decisions to make as a new parent. Should you buy a bassinet, co-sleeper, or a crib? And, you must decide whether or not to share a room with your baby, too. You can spend a lot of time (and money) getting your baby’s sleep space ready. And, many times, babies sleep just fine exactly where you planned. But, sometimes, they don’t.
What happens when your baby only wants to sleep in your arms or on your chest?
You may rock the baby to sleep in no time, but as soon as you lay him down, he wakes up! Or, he sleeps for a bit, say 20-60 minutes, and then wakes up. Waking up every 1-2 hours all night long for months on end can make parents sleep-deprived and feel like they are literally going crazy (sleep-deprivation IS a form of torture after all!). Or, holding a baby for 3 hours a day for naps can lead to moms feeling depressed and feeling inadequate in terms of keeping up with the household chores.
This article will help you learn how to handle it when your baby only wants to sleep in arms or on a chest.
Try Swaddling
If you haven’t already, try swaddling your baby. Living in the womb all those months is a very snug and comforting feeling. Swaddling, or wrapping your baby like a burrito, helps replicate that feeling to an extent and helps your baby sleep better.
Try a Zipadee-Zip
If swaddling didn’t work or your baby is older than 4 months old, you may want to try a Zipadee-Zip. It is a great swaddle transition product that helps when a baby feels like she is falling when her moro reflex is still strong leading to the startle you see.
Try heartbeat white noise
One reason your baby may like to sleep on your chest is because of the sound of your heartbeat. Assuming it’s mom who is holding the baby, your baby did sleep with your heartbeat sound for many months. So, consider using a white noise machine with a heartbeat sound. It may not be a miracle solution but could help.
Try Sleep Training
If your baby is 4 months old or older (we’ve worked with even toddlers with this problem), then it may be time to try sleep training your baby or toddler. After all, your baby is fully capable of sleeping on another surface, but from his or her perspective, why? This is what your baby has grown accustomed to and, of course, doesn’t know any different or that there is a “problem” with it. We all love holding our babies and snuggling, but during the day we have houses to clean, dinner to make, and, heck, maybe even take a shower! At night, let’s face it, sleeping upright holding a baby is exhausting not to mention dangerous in some cases. Sure, I did it when my youngest was a week or two old, but over time, we MUST sleep in order to be more effective and present parents.
For many babies, they need to learn HOW to sleep in another space and to learn healthy sleep habits and that’s what this entire website is all about!
Is your baby only sleeping in your arms or chest? Tell us about it!
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For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.
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If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.
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Baby Will Not Sleep Unless Held – Happiest Baby
By
Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, FAAP
On This Page
Why Babies Only Sleep While Held
Is it safe for my Baby to sleep in my arms?
How do I get my baby to sleep without being held?
How SNOO Helps Babies Who Can’t Sleep Without Being Held
Does this sound familiar: You lay your sleeping (or sleepy) baby down in their bassinet as gently as possible, but the second their little body brushes the sheet, the screaming starts? Then, of course, as soon as your baby is back on your chest, the crying immediately stops and the ZZZs come easy. This is a common sleep struggle that exhausts parents and makes them feel, well, stuck. And that’s because when babies regularly sleep on you, they begin to learn that sleepytime occurs in your arms, not the bassinet. It’s tough! But I’m here to help you get unstuck! As impossible as it may seem now, rest assured, you can get your baby to sleep soundly in their bassinet.
Why Babies Only Sleep While Held
Babies aren’t dummies! They know a good thing when they find it. To your little one, your warm, familiar, subtly moving body is so much more welcoming than that quiet and still bassinet. Quite simply, when your baby is nestled in your arms, they’re reminded of the womb, complete with gentle movements, a snug embrace, and the comforting sound of your heartbeat.
Is it safe for my Baby to sleep in my arms?
It can feel very sweet when your baby sleeps on your body, but it’s actually risky to let your little one do this. I’ve gotten too many emergency calls in the middle of the night after a sleeping baby perched on their parent’s body has fallen to the floor. Plus, co-sleeping on any surface, like a couch, reclining chair, or an adult bed, greatly increases a baby’s chances of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS. ) (In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that they’re “unable to recommend bed sharing under any circumstances.”) Remember, you want your baby close to you when snoozing, which means in your room for at least the first six months—not on your body!
How do I get my baby to sleep without being held?
Many parents find that giving their babies a fourth trimester of comforting stimulation can greatly improve their little one’s sleep. That means, lean into some of the 5 S’s for soothing babies: Swaddling, shushing, swinging, and sucking. (All of the 5 S’s help to activate your baby’s innate calming reflex, which is nature’s “off switch” for crying and “on switch” for sleep.) Unfortunately, the fifth S, side/stomach position, is not safe to use for sleep…but that’s a position lots of babies who sleep on their parents prefer! If you have a baby who really loves that particular S, you want to do the other four S’seven more to try to help your sweet bub sleep on their back. Here are the basics for getting your baby to sleep without being held:
Swaddle your baby. Swaddling your little one helps to mimic the snug and comforting embrace that they felt in the womb, which helps babies feel more comfortable on their back. Again, this throwback feeling helps to switch on your baby’s calming reflex. Plus, a proper swaddle keeps Baby’s startle reflex from waking them up. (Unswaddled babies can accidentally bonk themselves in the face, startling themselves awake.)
Use rumbly white noise. Turn on some white noise (shushing) during your baby’s bedtime routine—and keep it on all night long. Low and rumbly white noise, like the sounds in SNOO and SNOObear, can help babies fall asleep faster, sleep longer…and can help them be less dependent on their parents for sleep. (A 40-baby study found that white noise helped 80% fall asleep in just 5 minutes! Plus, white noise has also been shown to significantly decrease the duration of crying and increase sleepytime in colicky babies. )
Rock your baby. When babies are fresh out of the womb, they crave rocking to help them stay calm and sleep! (Remember, rocking—aka swinging—is reminiscent of all the jiggling your baby experienced for nine months in the womb.) Research has shown that rocking (and rocking bassinets, like SNOO) not only reduces crying and hastens sleep onset, it also improves overall sleep quality.
Offer a pacifier. Pacifiers work to satisfy the Sucking portion of the 5 S’s. Sucking can lower your baby’s heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels…which can all lead to better sleep. If you’re nursing your baby, hold off offering a paci until breastfeeding is well established.
Lay your little one down awake. When you place an already sleeping baby in their bassinet, it prevents them from learning that bassinets are for sleep. To fix that, put your baby down when they’re calm, drowsy, and on the verge of sleep. And if your nugget dozes before you transition them from your body to the bassinet, simply rouse them gently with a light tickle until their eyes open. After a few seconds, your little one’s eyes will close again and slide back to sleep. While waking a sleeping baby seems counterintuitive, this strategy is the first step to help your baby learn that they have the power to self soothe.
Learn Baby’s wake windows. A wake window is simply the time your baby can be awake before they need to go down for their next sleep. Most babies’ wake-times fall into a certain range. For example, 1- to 2-month-olds can often be awake for one to two hours before they must sleep again, while 3- to 4-month-olds can usually be awake between 75 minutes and 2.5 hours before their next sleep. Once you learn your baby’s wake windows, you can put them down for sleep before their window closes, which can help avoid your baby’s overtired bassinet-refusal.
Conquer reflux. A baby dealing with acid reflux may resist getting put down flat on their back to sleep, which is the safest position. To help, always feed your baby while they’re upright, burp them often, and then keep them in a sitting position for 20 to 30 minutes after a feeding, if possible. This allows gravity to keep stomach contents where they should be. (See how this, paired with paced bottle feeding, can reduce reflux.) If your baby is safely swaddled in SNOO and your doctor recommends elevation of the head, you can try elevating Baby’s head slightly with Leg Lifters, which offers a slight, safe incline.
How SNOO Helps Babies Who Can’t Sleep Without Being Held
Over the years, I’ve worked with thousands of families and have found that many babies still prefer sleeping on top of their parents, despite being swaddled and having white noise. That’s one of the reasons I worked for five years with MIT-trained engineers to develop SNOO, my responsive smart bassinet that soothes babies and promotes sleep with the calming trifecta of womb-like motion, safe swaddling, and all-night white noise. After all, we already know that swaddling, rumbly white noise, and rocking are great sleepytime cues! So, think of SNOO as a one-stop sleep solution that safely provides three out of 5 S’s for sleep. (Plus, SNOO is incredibly helpful to especially finicky babies who love being held, in part, because they easily rouse at any little bump in the night.) Here are a few more reasons to choose SNOO:
SNOO has been shown to add roughly 1 to 2 hours of baby sleep each night.
Most SNOO babies sleep nine hours or more by 2 to 3 months.
SNOO’s secure swaddling system prevents dangerous rolling and allows parents to continue swaddling until their baby graduates to the crib. (Non-SNOO babies need to give up the sleep-promoting swaddle once they begin rolling.)
SNOO automatically responds and adjusts to your baby’s fussing and crying with motion and sound, which can often calm in under a minute.
SNOO’s weaning mode allows for a gentle transition to crib.
Research has shown that SNOO can help parents feel more rested and less likely to feel mentally stressed.
For even more help getting your baby to sleep, check out…
What to Do When Your Baby Won’t Sleep in a Bassinet
How to Handle Your Baby’s Night Wakings
Why Your 3- to 4-month-Old Suddenly Is Not Sleeping
Which Risky Sleep Practice Surges After Waking at Night?
Co-Sleeping Need-to-Know
About Dr. Harvey Karp
Dr. Harvey Karp, one of America’s most trusted pediatricians, is the founder of Happiest Baby and the inventor of the groundbreaking SNOO Smart Sleeper. After years of treating patients in Los Angeles, Dr. Karp vaulted to global prominence with the release of the bestselling Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block. His celebrated books and videos have since become standard pediatric practice, translated into more than 20 languages and have helped millions of parents. Dr. Karp’s landmark methods, including the 5 S’s for soothing babies, guide parents to understand and nurture their children and relieve stressful issues, like new-parent exhaustion, infant crying, and toddler tantrums.
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yourself, please contact your health provider.
Letting your baby nap in your arms isn’t a bad habit
Call it “the human mattress.” After hours of crying, feeding or fussing, the blessed relief of a sleeping baby in an exhausted parent’s arms isn’t something anyone wants to mess with.
A sturdy crib or sweet little bassinet is one of the first purchases many expectant parents make, right before or after they paint the nursery a soothing colour for sleep. Some dark curtains and maybe a white noise machine and, presto, you have the perfect retreat for baby’s naptime and nighttime slumber.
Such a lovely plan! But let’s be honest here: In the first few days or weeks (or even months), your baby sure spends a lot of time sleeping everywhere except alone in their crib. And conked out in their mama’s arms or on their dad’s chest is often the easiest route to dreamland. The delicious warmth of baby, the little tree frog curl of their legs, the constant reassurance of their chest rising and falling as they snurfle through their slumber—perfection.
After hours of crying, feeding or fussing, the blessed relief of a sleeping baby in an exhausted parent’s arms isn’t something anyone wants to mess with. Transfer the baby to a bassinet? Over mom’s not-quite-dead body. The little creature is sure to wake up when you lay them down in that cold crib, away from the bodily warmth that soothes them. And so it continues, the sleep-inducing trick that child sleep consultant Alexis Dubief calls “the human mattress.”
Feel no guilt, parents! “Nobody puts a baby in a crib alone, especially awake, from day one,” says Dubief, author of Precious Little Sleep. “This is simply an unrealistic expectation for most new parents. Newborns need a lot of soothing, and being held by a parent or loved one is very soothing.”
So, go ahead and let your baby snuggle into your chest. Those early weeks aren’t the time to worry about sleep training. But there are two caveats: The person cuddling the sleeping baby has to be wide awake themselves and, yes, at some point, your baby will be so accustomed to sleeping on a warm body that sleep won’t happen easily anywhere else.
Is it safe to let your baby sleep on you?
“Having a newborn sleep on you is fine as long as you’re awake,” says Dubief. “But chances are, you’ll fall asleep when you’re in this position, and safety concerns become an issue.” Dubief admits that even she fell asleep with her own babies before she knew how “enormously unsafe” it is.
Ideally, there are a few other warm bodies around to cuddle your baby to sleep while the bleary-eyed mom or zombie dad catches some quality zzzs in their own bed. Maybe it means grandpa plays the human mattress so that the baby can sleep while the grown-ups watch the playoffs on TV. Or perhaps auntie can rock and read while the tree frog dozes in her lap. Everyone loves holding a baby, right?
Well, no—not always. What is lovely when a baby is a few days old may get tiring fast for an exhausted and overwhelmed mom who just can’t hold their baby another second. If you’re desperate to sleep, eat, pee, shower or just take abreak from the unrelenting demands of the new self-centred ruler of the household, putting your baby to sleep in their own bed, even if they protest, is perfectly fine (not to mention a nice way to start teaching the self-soothing techniques that your baby needs to learn).
How to get your baby to nap in a crib
In the end, the transition from the early weeks (when sleep doesn’t need to be by the book) to the age when you really should start thinking about good habits is a moving target and may depend on the baby. Despite all the warnings about creating unwanted precedents, Dubief says that babies don’t have the mental capacity to form habits in those first eight weeks of life and won’t learn “independent sleep” (falling asleep on their own) until somewhere between four and eight months.
Somewhere in between, letting your baby nap on you may need to stop. “If your baby has only slept on an adult, by six months, they will know this is the only way to nap and will become quite upset when you attempt to deviate from the norm,” warns Dubief. “If you don’t want to let them nap on you for the long haul, gradually backing out of it earlier—starting at three months—is ideal. ”
Getting your baby to transition from napping on their favourite human to sleeping soundly in their own bed isn’t easy, but a few tried-and-true tricks can help. A hot water bottle can warm baby’s spot for a few minutes and then, when you put them down and remove it, they may be fooled into believing that they’re sleeping on you. Some parents swear that baby massage before bedtime can help, while others leave their hand on babies’ bellies until they settle into a deep sleep.
Whenever you choose to move away from cuddling with a sleeping baby, the message is clear: Don’t worry about it in those early days. Let them be little, be safe about it and tackle the transition to the crib when you’re ready.
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Is It Safe For A Newborn To Sleep On My Chest? Experts Weigh In
Baby
RgStudio/E+/Getty Images
It depends on whether you’re sleeping, too.
by Ni’Kesia Pannell
Updated:
Originally Published:
When it comes to pregnancy and babies, there are lots of things to be fearful of — and not just being a new parent yourself, but being around anyone who is pregnant. Though I know a baby is safe in their parent’s womb, I’ve always worried that the slightest touch would cause them to be harmed. Similarly, I’ve grown somewhat fearful of newborn babies, simply because there are so many things that can happen to them, too — especially while they’re sleeping. With co-sleeping becoming more popular among parents, one of the main questions I (and many others) have is this one: Can babies sleep on their stomach on your chest? Or is it unsafe? Here’s what experts want you to know.
Is it safe for baby to sleep on your chest?
The rule of thumb is: It’s safe if you’re awake. “It’s OK to let a newborn baby sleep on your chest as long as you don’t fall asleep, too,” Jean Moorjani, M.D., a pediatrician at Orlando Health Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children, tells Romper. “If you’re awake, it’s perfectly fine to watch them snooze on your chest. If you feel sleepy, then put your baby in their crib or bassinet.”
It’s when you fall asleep that having your little one snoozing on your chest gets dangerous. “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is, of course, the concern,” Arunima Agarwal, M.D., a New York-based board-certified pediatrician, tells Romper. SIDS refers to the sudden, unexplained death of an infant during sleep. In the case of a baby on a parent’s chest while that parent is asleep, they may potentially roll onto the baby, causing SIDS, suffocation, or strangulation.
According to statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 3,500 babies die of sleep-related causes in the United States each year, with SIDS among the leading causes. For that reason, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not recommend bed sharing under any circumstances, though they acknowledge some parents still choose to do it.
However, in this specific scenario, the solution is simple and straightforward: “As long as the parent, guardian, or adult is awake, it’s perfectly fine,” Agarwal says.
Why do babies like to sleep on your chest?
athima tongloom/Moment/Getty Images
There are a few reasons why it feels incredibly natural to have your baby sleep on your chest — and why they like it so much. For one, sleeping on an awake parent’s chest can help babies to feel calmer. “It’s very intuitive and comforting, body contact,” Agarwal says. “Skin-to-skin contact increases body heat, and baby feels safe, comforted, and warm. Especially when the baby’s younger, you swaddled them up to a certain point, so this is almost like a like a natural swaddle, because they feel warm and safe.”
Yet another reason why babies might like to sleep on your chest: the sound of your heartbeat. “It reproduces the in utero environment where mom’s pulse was the primary and constant sound the baby heard,” Nicole Porter, Ph.D., a sleep and fatigue specialist, previously told Romper. “It’s familiar and comforting.”
Benefits of baby sleeping on your chest
The comfort level of your little one is a huge plus. Any new parent can attest that there are times they would do just about anything to get their baby to sleep soundly. “It’s huge for a newborn to feel comforted and safe, because they’ll stay asleep longer,” Agarwal says. “In that position, they’re hearing your breathing and heartbeat — all of these things are reminiscent of being in the womb and, again, just provide more comfort to the infant.”
Plus, the more time you can spend holding and cuddling your baby (when you’re awake), the better. “It’s also bonding for the parents, not just for the baby,” says Agarwal. “For the adult this position creates bonding, which improves the relationship overall, because most parents and adults are sleep deprived those first few months. Bonding is extremely important for the adult to the baby, and the other way around, as well.”
Although letting your baby sleep on your chest does have some perks, parents should take the advice of medical experts and be incredibly diligent about not nodding off along with their baby. If you do place your baby on your chest to get them to fall asleep, be sure to transport them off to their crib and place them on their back before you drift off, too.
Experts:
Jean Moorjani, M.D., pediatrician at Orlando Health Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children
Arunima Agarwal, M.D., New York-based board-certified pediatrician
Nicole Porter, Ph.D., sleep and fatigue specialist
This article was originally published on 914Z”>April 6, 2017
Baby Only Sleeps in My Arms During the Day
Does your newborn sleep well over your shoulder or on your chest? Learn what to do when your baby only sleeps in your arms during the day.
Five hours.
That’s how long your baby will sleep at a time… but only if you’re holding him. As soon as you lay him down, he snaps wide awake.
In fact, if you don’t hold him for his naps, he probably wouldn’t sleep and end up being overtired. Even if you try putting him down when he’s in deep sleep, he wakes up within minutes (if not immediately).
You also have a two-year-old to care for, so you can’t exactly have a sleeping baby constantly in your arms. Using the bathroom or fixing yourself some lunch seem all but impossible. You know you need help so this doesn’t develop into something worse.
In fact, this whole thing is driving you crazy, leaving you exhausted and miserable.
When your baby will only sleep in your arms during the day
I hear you, mama.
We’re caught in a tricky spot during the newborn stage. We know our babies still need help falling asleep, so sleep training is out of the picture for now. But we also need a break, even if just to take care of the household, our other kids, or maintain our sanity.
After hearing from several moms in my life and online, I learned a few handy tricks you can try to finally free your arms. These are some of the cleverest strategies moms have tried to ease their sleeping babies out of their arms and into the crib or bassinet.
Take a look at these suggestions and see if they’ll work for you:
1. Move as your baby drifts off to sleep
You almost can’t blame your baby for being startled awake sometimes. After all, he’s fast asleep in your arms, only to feel a sudden movement as you make your way to the crib. No wonder he wakes up even before you’ve set him down.
Instead, try this little trick: move slightly as he drifts off to sleep.
First, hold him in your arms to help him sleep. As he starts to get sleepy, make a slight motion, like standing up or taking a few steps. He’ll feel the change in motion, but then realize that he’s still in your arms and continue to sleep.
That way, when you do put him down, the motion and change in that position won’t bother him so much, making him more likely to keep sleeping.
Free download: Join my newsletter and download a free chapter of my ebook, How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Without Being Held. You’ll learn effective tips and strategies to finally ease him out of your arms:
2. Warm your baby’s sleeping surface
Another shock that can come as a surprise to your baby is the change in temperature. Whereas your body felt nice and warm, the crib can feel crisp and cold.
To help ease the transition, heat the surface of the crib or bassinet a few minutes before you plan to lay him down. A hot pack or a heated pad placed on the crib mattress can do the trick. Don’t forget to do a few trial runs beforehand to make sure the surface doesn’t get too hot.
Then, when it’s time to set him down, remove the pad a few minutes beforehand, leaving the mattress nice and toasty.
3. Hold your baby in the position you plan to put him down
Do you hold your baby to sleep with his face tucked sideways close to your chest? Does he like being held upright, perhaps over your shoulder or across your legs?
You can imagine how difficult it can be for the both of you to transition him out of your arms. He could be fast asleep on his tummy against your chest, to suddenly lying down flat on his back in the crib.
If you run into this problem, try holding him in the position that you plan to put him down.
More than likely, that means you’ll be putting him down on his back—specifically, stretched out and flat. If so, hold him in a similar position in your arms. That way, he’ll experience less of a jolt when you finally lay him down, considering that he was already in that position as you held him.
Learn what to do when your baby won’t nap unless held.
4. Put your baby in a swaddle
Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links, which means I will earn a commission—at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase.
One of the reasons I loved wrapping my babies in a swaddle was that it made for an easier transition out of my arms. They were already wrapped and snuggled in a certain position, one that continued even in the crib.
Before nap time, wrap your baby in a swaddle (like this one I gifted my cousin’s baby) and hold him in your arms. That way, when you eventually put him down, he’s already wrapped in what he’ll continue to sleep in. Even better: he’ll have fewer chances to flail his arms and startle himself awake in a swaddle.
Love to Dream Swaddle
5. Keep your hand on your baby’s chest
Your baby might be startled awake when you put him down because of the loss of contact with you. You can “trick” him to keep sleeping by laying your hand on his chest after putting him down.
As he starts to drift off, place him in his crib, keeping your hand on his chest. The slight weight and presence of your hand won’t feel as shocking, especially if his chest had been in contact with you. Keep your hand on his chest until he’s sound asleep.
If he wakes up and cries, then pick him up to calm him down and try again. By being persistent and repeating this process, he’ll learn that you’re still there and eventually know how to put himself to sleep on his own.
6. Cover the bassinet
I’m sure you’ve seen strollers with a light blanket draped over it. I’d do this with my babies, especially if the sun was bright. But one additional perk is that the blanket removed extra stimulation that could overwhelm and make them fussy.
The same can be done with your baby’s bassinet.
After placing him inside, drape a light muslin blanket (aden + anais ones are fantastic) over the bassinet. Make sure there’s plenty of space for air to flow and that the blanket isn’t actually touching him. And, just like with a stroller, you’ll need to be awake to supervise.
That way, should he wake up, he won’t feel overwhelmed when he can see a familiar blanket instead.
aden + anais swaddle blanket
7. Lay your baby on your shirt
Some babies can feel comforted with the simple scent of something familiar—you!
Try wearing a shirt beneath your regular clothes all day. Then, before it’s time to put him down for a nap, remove the shirt and place it on the bassinet, laying him on top. The shirt can help him feel comforted, what with its familiar texture and scent.
To be extra careful, tuck the edges of the shirt under the bassinet, and keep an eye on him to make sure the shirt doesn’t bunch up.
8. Lay your baby next to you
Don’t want to have to put your baby down? Start off by lying down next to him to begin with!
Either on your bed or on a thick blanket on the floor, put your baby down and lie down nearby with your arm around him. For instance, the top of his head could touch the bottom of your arm, or you could simply scoot next to him so your bodies touch.
Then as he starts to fall asleep, carefully move your arm and inch your way off the bed or blanket. Meanwhile, he remains in place without having to be moved at all.
9. Wear your baby in a wrap
Should none of these tricks work and you simply need to make sure your baby sleeps, try wearing him in a wrap.
Granted, he’s still sleeping next to you, so you’ll still be limited in what you can do. But with a baby wrap, at least you’ll have your arms free to walk around while he enjoys a nice nap next to you. This is especially useful if you need to catch up on chores or tend to your other kids.
Moby Wrap Baby Carrier
Conclusion
As effective as holding your baby to sleep can be, at some point, you’ll need to free up your arms and get him to sleep on his own. Hopefully you now know what to do to make that happen.
Try moving just as he starts to drift off, or warm the crib mattress before setting him down. Hold him in the position you plan to place him down, keep him in a swaddle to make the transition easier, or place your hand on his chest.
Drape a light blanket over the bassinet to block stimulation, or lay him down on top of one of your shirts. And if worse comes to worse, a baby wrap will ensure he gets his sleep while freeing up your arms.
Sometimes we have to “trick” our babies to sleep away from our arms—even if they won’t always sleep for five hours straight.
Get more tips:
4 Things to Do When Your Overtired Baby Won’t Stop Crying
When Your Child Regresses Because of New Baby Jealousy
Watch Out for These 7 Baby Tired Signs You Might Be Missing
How to Survive the First Weeks with a Newborn and Toddler
What to Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Help with the Baby Because He Works
Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and download a free chapter of my ebook, How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Without Being Held:
Myths about baby sleep and SIDS, debunked by an expert
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
Familiar with the Back to Sleep campaign to eliminate sudden infant death syndrome or SIDS, one of the leading causes of infant death? Called Safe to Sleep today, it urges parents to put babies to sleep on their backs, never on the stomach, until age 1. Since the start of the campaign in 1994, SIDS rates have dropped by half, which is why it was chosen by the American Academy of Pediatrics as one of the most important achievements in children’s health in the past 40 years.
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
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Routine vaccinations are life-saving for many children. Just look at polio, which once killed or disabled thousands, and which has now been eradicated in the United States due to vaccination efforts. Before vaccines were developed, for example, rotavirus killed about 450,000 children worldwide each year. In the United States, Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) took the lives of 1,200 annually.
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
KATERYNA KON/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY/Getty Images
The most common childhood cancer in the United States today is acute lymphocytic leukemia, striking nearly 3,000 children a year. In 1975, it was a death sentence, but after years of research new medication combos, today 90% of newly diagnosed children are expected to live five years or more.
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
Eddie Lawrence/Dorling Kindersley/Getty Images
The main cause of death for newborns around the world, says the American Academy of Pediatrics, is being born premature. About 450,000 babies a year, or one in nine, are born prematurely in the US alone. Adding a surfactant, or lubricant, to the lungs of a newborn helps them breathe. After it was implemented in 1985, preemie deaths from respiratory distress syndrome dropped by 41% over the next six years.
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
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In pregnancy, HIV can be transmitted from mother to baby by blood during pregnancy, via vaginal secretions during childbirth, and during breastfeeding after birth. The rate of transmission used to be as high as 40%, but after research discovered an anti-retroviral medication called Zidovudine, the rate decreased by two-thirds.
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
Janice Haney Carr/CDC
In sickle cell anemia, an inherited disorder, red blood cells become hard, sticky and form a C-shaped “sickle.” Those sickle cells die early, which causes a constant shortage of red blood cells, extreme pain, infection and often, strokes. In 1975, a child with sickle cell disease would likely die by age 14, but medical advances have increased the current life expectancy to age 40.
Photos: 7 medical advancements that saved children’s lives
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One in three children who die in auto accidents aren’t protected by seat belts or car seats, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Since the implementation of laws and national awareness campaigns such as Click It or Ticket, deaths have plummeted. In children younger than a year, for example, the proper use of car seats has reduced deaths by 71%.
Dr. Harvey Karp, author of “The Happiest Baby on the Block,” will be taking your baby and parenthood questions on the CNN Parenting Facebook page live at 11 a.m. ET Monday, October 30.
Story highlights
Baby sleep is best if you play loud, rumbly white noise during all naps and nights
An unswaddled baby can roll to an unsafe position more easily than a swaddled one
CNN
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We need more training to get a driver’s license than to become a parent, in our culture. Even though we would benefit from parental education, some of us have never even held a newborn before having one of our own. And we often rely on advice from friends and family, much of it outdated or just plain wrong.
Baby sleeping on their back
Jamie Grill/Tetra images RF/Getty Images
Most moms aren’t putting babies to sleep safely, study says
When it comes to baby sleep, bad advice can be dangerous. October is Safe Sleep Awareness month, an opportunity to learn more about sudden unexpected infant death and debunk the myths about what is sabotaging your sleep and highlight habits that potentially risk your baby’s safety.
A grandmother holds her newborn granddaughter in her arms for the first time. The infant is two weeks old.
Daniel MacDonald /Getty Images
Is grandparents’ old-school parenting putting kids at risk?
Not true. In fact, total silence can make it hard for your baby to doze off. Remember, the womb is noisy: louder than a vacuum cleaner and running 24 hours a day. For nine months, your little one’s been lulled to sleep by the rhythmic whooshing of the blood flowing through the placenta. To her, the quiet of the average home is jarring. Plus, in a silent room, she’s more likely to wake up when a loud truck on the street or any other bump in the night breaks that silence. The truth is, your baby will sleep best if you play loud, rumbly white noise during all naps and nights.
Nope. You should always wake your sleeping baby using a little technique called “wake and sleep.” It gently teaches your child the important skill of self-soothing. Here’s briefly how it works: Starting as early as the first day of life, wake him up the tiniest bit after sliding him into bed. Just tickle his neck or feet until his eyes drowsily open. Very soon after, he’ll drift right back into slumberland. In those few semi-awake seconds, he’s just soothed himself back to sleep – the first step toward sleeping through the night.
Not really. Your baby may fuss and resist swaddling at first, so it may look like she hates it. But babies don’t need freedom, they need the feeling of security they had in the womb. Without wrapping, your infant will flail her arms, whack herself in the face and startle easily throughout the night. That’s a recipe for poor sleep.
Swaddling is the first step to calming, and it’s important you don’t stop there, especially if your infant’s been fighting it. To help her settle, you’ll want to layer in other womb-mimicking steps: “shushing,” side/stomach position, swinging and sucking, which, along with swaddling, make up the 5 S’s of setting up a baby for sleep success. And once the S’s become part of your sleep routine, she’ll give up her battle! (Note: Side/stomach position is for calming only, never for sleep.)
Photo Illustration/Thinkstock
Babies may sleep longer in their own rooms, study says
Having our babies grow up to be independent takes a long time. There’s no need to rush it. In fact, having your new child sleep in another room is inconvenient (for feedings and diaper changes) and possibly dangerous. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies sleep in the parent’s room for at least six months (always on their back, in their own bed). The simple practice has shown to significantly reduce the rate of sudden infant death syndrome.
Swaddling reduces crying and increases sleep. But new research shows that swaddled babies who roll to the stomach have double the risk of SIDS compared with an unswaddled baby rolling over. As a result, the pediatrics academy is now recommending that parents stop baby-wrapping at 2 months. On the face of it, the group’s new advice seems to make sense, but it completely ignores the risks of not swaddling.
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In an eight-year review of data collected by the Consumer Product Safety Commission, only 22 sudden unexplained infant deaths related to swaddling were reported; almost 50% were in sleep sacks (a wearable blanket), and 90% were found on the stomach and/or with bulky bedding. (Note: Fatalities categorized as sudden unexplained infant death include sleep deaths from accidental suffocation, strangulation and SIDS.)
Swaddling is a go-to for sleep-deprived parents the world over. Can it increase risk of SIDS in swaddled babies?
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Swaddling and SIDS: About that alarming study …
During those eight years, hundreds of thousands – if not millions – of babies were swaddled. Since sudden unexplained infant death strikes one in 1,200 babies, one would have expected hundreds or perhaps thousands of swaddle-related deaths over this period if wrapping caused these deaths. Of note, during the same eight years, 1,026 deaths related to sofa sleeping were reported to the safety commission.
The point is, though swaddling may introduce a theoretical risk, there is not a lot of proof it is causing a true increase in sudden unexplained infant death. On the other hand, swaddling has been shown to reduce infant crying and boost sleep. That is of critical importance because the stress provoked by persistent fussing and parental exhaustion is a potent trigger for postpartum depression, child abuse, car accidents and even risky sleeping practices, which are associated with up to 70% of all infant sleep fatalities.
We don’t want babies rolling over swaddled, but we also don’t want them rolling over unswaddled during the 2- to 4-month-old peak period for SIDS. An unswaddled baby can roll to an unsafe position more easily than one whose movement is restricted by snug swaddling. And, since swaddling improves sleep, unwrapped babies wake more often and are more likely to tempt their tired parents to fall asleep with them in their beds.
CNNTech reviews the Snoo — smart bassinet
CNNTech
video
Does this $1,200 crib make your newborn sleep?
To solve this tricky problem, I assembled a team of MIT-trained engineers and renowned industrial designer Yves Behar to invent a type of swaddle that keeps sleeping babies safely on the back. In October 2016, my company Happiest Baby debuted Snoo, the world’s first responsive bassinet that employs this special swaddle, which clips to the base of the bed to prevent rolling. This innovation allows parents to reap the substantial benefits of swaddling for a full six months without any of the risks.
The National Institute of Health-led Back to Sleep campaign quickly reduced sleep deaths from 5,500 in 1994 to 3,500 in 1999. However, for the past 17 years, progress has completely stalled. The tragic truth is that 3,500 infants die during their sleep each and ever year. Although more babies are sleeping on the back, the rate of accidental suffocation and strangulation infant deaths has quadrupled since the mid-1990s. What’s behind this alarming trend? Unsafe sleeping practices. Seventy percent of all sudden unexplained infant death victims are found in adult beds, sofas and other risky locations.
A recent study revealed that while most parents fully plan to follow the ABCs of safe sleep (Alone, on the Back, in a Crib), less than half actually do it. And by the end of the night, about 60% of babies have migrated from their bassinet to their parents’ bed, according to a study in the Journal of Clinical Lactation.
Close-up shot of pediatrician ready to give an intramuscular injection of a vaccine to a baby girl
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The next great medical innovations that could save children
The terrible, unintended consequence of the Back to Sleep campaign is that it has worsened infant sleep. Babies just don’t sleep well on their backs in still, quiet cribs. And as discussed in myth 5, when babies don’t sleep well, parents resort to bed-sharing, which leads to many more infant suffocation deaths.
It is very important that parents continue to place their babies to sleep on the back, but they also need to start using more tools to improve their child’s sleep. The good news is that there are three effective ways to boost slumber for back-sleeping babies: sound, swaddling and rocking.
Rumbly white noise is inexpensive and very effective for improving a baby’s sleep. Snug swaddling is too, but as explained above, pediatricians now recommend that parents stop wrapping at 2 months old. Motion, or swinging, is also great, but the American Academy of Pediatrics has found that sleeping in sitting devices, such as rockers and swings, may allow a baby’s head to roll forward and cause accidental suffocation and death.
A new born baby takes the finger of his mother after the delivery, on September 17, 2013 at the Lens hospital, northern France. AFP PHOTO PHILIPPE HUGUEN (Photo credit should read PHILIPPE HUGUEN/AFP/Getty Images)
PHILIPPE HUGUEN/AFP/AFP/Getty Images
US infant mortality rates down 15%
These are issues we sought to address with the Snoo bed. It allows for safe swinging (it is totally flat), safe swaddling (the baby can’t roll over) and safe sound, as the sound increases when a baby cries but then immediately softens – after the baby calms – for all-night sleep promotion. We designed it to deliver the right level of womb-like stimulation that is right for any particular baby to calm his or her fussing and boost sleep.
For nearly 20 years, despite enormous public health educational programs, we have failed to reduce infant sleep death. But, by focusing on sleep efficacy (boosting a baby’s sleep), we now have a very exciting means to prevent many – if not most – of these deaths. And as a health bonus, improving sleep efficacy may also allow us to reduce other serious and unsolved health problems triggered by exhaustion and crying, such as postpartum depression (with about a half million cases diagnosed a year) and shaken-baby syndrome (1,300 incidents a year).
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Please join me in October – and all year long – by telling new parents about exhaustion’s role in sudden unexplained infant death and by sharing the sleep-boosting tips mentioned here. I am confident that we will dramatically improve the health of American parents and babies as we put more energy and emphasis on helping parents promote better infant sleep.
Dr. Harvey Karp is the author of “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and founder and CEO of HappiestBaby.com, the maker of innovative tools to help babies sleep.
how often and how long should sleep, conditions for sleep, sleep problems in a newborn
Olesya Ogurtsova
solved the problems with the child’s sleep and sleeps peacefully
Author’s profile
In December 2019, I became a mother for the first time and found out that sleep a baby – or rather, its absence – can create problems for the whole family.
To solve them, I had to study a lot of information, spend 15,000 R and an incalculable amount of nerves. But I have walked this path and continue to follow it. Now my son is a year and four months old and it suits me how he falls asleep and sleeps. I’ll tell you about the sleep problems we had and how I solved them.
Why I started doing baby sleep
Newborn babies are said to sleep all the time. My son didn’t do that. He could not sleep for a couple of hours in a row, and even throw a tantrum for half an hour when I tried to rock him. Before pregnancy, I told myself that I had no voice and hearing, so I would never sing lullabies. But already on the first night in the maternity hospital, she sang “Tired Toys Are Sleeping”, however, then it didn’t help much.
By the end of the first month of my son’s life, I found ways to put him to bed: he fell asleep well only on his chest or in a stroller. My son slept with me on the bed and it was comfortable. I was not afraid that I would crush him, since I have a light sleep and I do not twist at night. At night, he woke up five to seven times, I gave him a breast and he quickly fell asleep.
During my pregnancy, I read many books on parenting. Almost nothing was said about sleep there: it was only about the temperature and humidity in the room. I always thought that sleep is a natural need of the body and there can be no problems with it. “A tired child is sleeping,” says the popular pediatrician Yevgeny Olegovich Komarovsky. Therefore, I was very surprised when I saw an ad for a baby sleep consultant on Instagram. At a certain point, I had to use the services of such a specialist, and I discovered a lot of new things for myself.
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It turned out that even perfectly healthy children can have problems sleeping:
a baby can cry when laying down and not fall asleep for an hour and a half;
can fall asleep only under certain conditions: with breast in mouth, while rocking on a fitball, in a moving car;
can only sleep for 40 minutes after half an hour of bed;
may wake up 16 times a night and again demand help to fall asleep.
These problems are most common in the first two years of a child’s life, but may occur later. During the year of motherhood, I encountered most of them.
How often and how long a child should sleep
In 2015, the National Sleep Foundation made recommendations for sleep duration at all ages.
Sleep norms for each age
Age
Recommended sleep time
0-3 months
14-17 hours
4-11 months
12-15 pm
1-2 years
11am-2pm
3-5 years
10-13 hours
6-13 years old
9-11 am
14-17 years old
8-10 hours
18-25 years old
7-9 hours
26-65 years old
7-9 hours
Over 65
7-8 hours
Age
Recommended sleep time
0-3 months
14-17 hours
4-11 months
12-15 hours
1-2 years
11-14 hours
3-5 years
10-13 hours
6-13 years
9-11 hours
14-17 years old
8-10 hours
18-25 years
7–9 hours
26-65 years old
7-9 hours
Over 65
7-8 hours
Counselors divide sleep into daytime and nighttime. They also advise how many times to feed a child at night during the first year of life, how many times he can wake up and at what age he acquires the ability to sleep all night long. If the baby rarely wakes up at night and gains weight well, you should not wake him up to feed him. And if more often, it may not be related to hunger at all.
It is important to remember that any tabular norms are not dogma, but an occasion to carefully observe the child and evaluate whether something needs to be changed. Different sources give different figures, there are no common standards in world and Russian practice. The age of the child is counted from the expected date of birth. For example, if a baby was born at week 36, it makes sense to look at sleep values a month younger than the baby’s current age. If the child was born later than the predicted date – vice versa.
A newborn can only sleep 14 hours a day and that will be fine. You can judge for yourself how far 14 hours are from “constantly sleeping”.
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There is a concept of “individual sleep rate” of a child. The individual norm shows how many dreams a child needs and how long they should last. It is important to calculate it in order to properly organize the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness of the baby. To do this, you need to record the duration of all the dreams of the child for five to seven days and calculate the arithmetic mean. It should be borne in mind that these should be the most ordinary, event-poor days: without trips, guests, illnesses, transitions to fewer dreams, without learning to fall asleep on your own, and so on. You should get a sleep time at which the child feels good during the day: he looks cheerful, does not act up for no reason, falls asleep calmly and not too long, and wakes up in a good mood.
At around four months, sleep regression occurs. This changes its structure: sleep has phases and cycles, like an adult. One cycle at this age lasts about 40 minutes, after which the child wakes up and, as it were, checks whether everything is fine. When the brain is convinced of this, the child instantly falls asleep further. But if something has changed, he may feel anxiety and not fall asleep: for example, if he fell asleep in his mother’s arms, and woke up alone in an empty bed.
When they want to solve the sleep problems of a healthy child, they work on physical comfort, sleep conditions, routine and associations for falling asleep. Over time, you have to teach the child to fall asleep on their own, that is, without the help of parents in the process of falling asleep.
/colic/
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What influences a child’s sleep
Physical comfort
It is difficult for a child to fall asleep if he is irritated by a leaky diaper or a pajama tag. Therefore, it is important to check all the things that the baby physically comes into contact with during falling asleep and sleeping.
I did it in literally five minutes. Everything was in order: there were no crumbs in the bed, the sheet was soft, and we carefully cut off the tags from the pajamas as soon as we brought things from the store. It seemed that the child did not like pajama pants: he wiggled his legs when I put them on. It was summer, I decided to style without them, but he didn’t start falling asleep faster because of this, so I returned the panties.
What influences a child’s sleep
Temperature and Humidity
It is generally said that the baby sleeps well at 18-22°C and 40-60% humidity. Our apartment is warmer and drier, so I regularly ventilate and turn on the humidifier. I have not noticed that these parameters greatly affect my child’s sleep. Perhaps because they did not reach critical levels.
Separately, I want to say that with the onset of winter, my son began to fall asleep faster in the stroller, and once he even fell asleep on his own, without my motion sickness. He is not one of those who can fall asleep with toys or on the potty, but one day we were just driving home in a stroller, and at the entrance it turned out that his son was already sleeping. I concluded that it was the frosty air and the slight rocking of the stroller that affected him. Many mothers note that in winter the child sleeps better on the street than in summer. Therefore, I try to ventilate and cool the room well before going to bed.
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What to give for the birth of a child
What influences a child’s sleep
Darkness
In the first month of my son’s life, we had a night light on all night, but I needed it more than the child. I constantly checked how he was sleeping, whether it was time to change the diaper, and it was easier to breastfeed in the light. Then I realized that the light still prevents me from sleeping, and the recommendations on the Internet about the child were different. We decided to sleep in the dark and turn on the night light when we need to change a diaper or feed our son. In the light, he woke up and began to cry, but then quickly calmed down and fell asleep. During the day, I just closed the curtains. Even before the birth, we bought them as a blackout, and I was sure that the room was dark enough. When I started working with a consultant at six months, it turned out that I was wrong.
It turned out that for most children with poor sleep, including my son, mere darkness is not enough to fall asleep comfortably. What was needed was absolute darkness, which “at least gouge out your eye.”
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Our curtains turned out to be a so-so blackout, they still let in a little light: this is easy to check with a flashlight if you shine it through the curtain. I didn’t know this when I bought it. But even a real blackout, which does not let in absolutely any light, is powerless where there are gaps between the curtain and the ceiling above and the walls on the sides. Therefore, we did not change the curtains, but added a blackout to the windows.
The sleep consultant advised me to cover the windows with foil, which we did. We took a roll of ordinary foil, in which we usually cook, sprinkled plain water from a spray bottle on the glasses and laid the foil on them so that light did not break through them. This was to test how much my child really needs absolute darkness.
The method is fast, simple and cheap, but it has disadvantages. When the water dries, the foil falls off, you have to fasten it again. In some areas, the foil, on the contrary, “sticks” to the glass so that it cannot be removed from the glass without a blade. After sleep, the child needs natural light, it is difficult to remove the foil every time. They found a way out: foil was left on the window section with a window leaf, and Shottis paper pleated blinds from Ikea were attached to the central part. They do not fit close to the window, so light breaks through from the side, but it is convenient to lift them.
If we cover all this with our not-quite-blackout, the light still breaks through. But such darkness was enough, the baby began to fall asleep much faster. I myself appreciated how much more comfortable it became to sleep.
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“I don’t know how to live without this friend”: 17 things that every home should have
Light comes through the curtains. There is no foil and paper blinds here yet
Added foil around the edges and blinds in the middle
Light comes through the curtains. There is no foil and paper blinds yet Added foil around the edges and blinds in the middle Now light only passes through small gaps
What influences a child’s sleep
Absence of sharp and loud sounds
In the morning the husband goes to work when the child is sleeping, and comes in the evening when the child is just falling asleep. The sounds of the door lock, the door itself, steps and other movements in the corridor interfered, so we began to turn on white noise. This is a uniform background noise, similar to the sound of a waterfall. It hides other sounds. It is important to choose a comfortable volume, up to 50 dB – it’s like the sound of rain or water in the shower. There is no information that sleeping under these sounds is harmful, but I constantly saw a positive effect.
White noise can come from toys with audio modules, a phone or a Bluetooth speaker. There are toys that not only play white noise when you press a button inside the toy’s paw or tummy, but also automatically turn it on if the baby starts making sounds. This is convenient if you do not want to listen to white noise during the entire sleep of the child. The baby’s sleep cycle ends, he starts to wake up, he can cry a little – and the toy will immediately turn on white noise, which will create the atmosphere that accompanied the child when falling asleep. The baby is expected to fall asleep immediately.
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I didn’t buy this toy for two reasons. It seemed to me that if the child was already awake, then an unexpected white noise would wake him up even more. In addition, such a toy must be placed close to the baby so that it catches the first sounds when it wakes up.
Instead, I turn on a twelve-hour video on an old smartphone and put the device face down. First, she played the video on YouTube under the Premium subscription, that is, without interruptions for advertising. Then I downloaded it to my phone so as not to depend on the Internet. White noise works throughout falling asleep and sleeping, even at night. At first it bothered me, but not for long: I got used to it.
I especially appreciated the white noise when one of the neighbors started a renovation. White noise does not muffle the sounds of a perforator, drill and hammer, but it helps not to flinch at the moment when someone starts working. The son falls asleep as usual and does not wake up until he has had enough sleep.
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Also, white noise helps to create a familiar environment if you put your child to bed at a party, in the country or somewhere else. I take my phone with me in the car and in the stroller. True, the rule about a distance of one and a half meters is not observed there, but I make it quieter and lull my conscience by the fact that my son rarely sleeps outside the house.
Old phone for white noise. There is no video sequence in the video, there is this static picture
What influences a child’s sleep
Place to sleep
The child does not have to be in a crib: he can sleep in the same bed with his mother or both parents. In this case, for the sake of safety, a number of conditions must be observed:
There must be a parent on one side of the child, and a fence on the other: a wall or a special limiter.
The mattress must be sufficiently firm and in good condition: make sure that it does not collapse under your weight, that there are no sagging areas in it.
The bed should not have a lot of pillows and other things.
The parent must not smell of alcohol or strong odors.
Parent must not take sleeping pills.
These conditions are also needed to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome – SIDS. For the same reason, the child is not recommended to be tightly wrapped up – to overheat – and put to sleep on his stomach until he learns to roll over on his own.
As a transitional option between co-sleeping and a separate bed, you can use an extra bed: put the baby bed close to the adult, and before that, remove one of the walls from it. It is important that there is no space between the beds into which the child can fall or stick his hand. It is desirable that the beds be on the same level or a crib a little lower than an adult: in this case, the child will not fall if he decides to move to his parents.
The classic version is a separate bed in the parent’s bedroom or a separate room. It is important that the child cannot get out on his own: the walls of the crib should be high enough, not lower than the child’s armpits, but better higher. To prevent the child from bumping his head, you can install soft bumpers. They should not have elements that can be torn off and stuffed into the mouth. In addition, the sides create additional blackout. This is true if you turn on the phone when the child is sleeping. It is desirable that the sides and bed linen be calm, discreet colors.
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Here, the cushions are twisted from blankets, and the side is raised. A child does not need a pillow until one and a half to two years old, so it is not available. For the same purpose, babies in the first months of life are often swaddled to sleep. It is important that swaddling is not tight. Instead of a regular diaper, you can take a diaper bag; with it, swaddling skills are not required.
When walking, the child can be placed in a stroller or sling. The rocking sensation lulls the baby to sleep. The same effect is produced by a moving car, children’s swings and sun loungers.
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I went from co-sleeping to sleeping in a crib at the other end of the room. Even at the maternity hospital, I started taking my son to my bed, so we both got better sleep. He did not want to fall asleep in his crib, and we used it as a playpen. But sleeping three of us on the bed was uncomfortable, so when I started teaching my son how to fall asleep on his own, I put him in a crib, which was placed close to ours. At that time, the child was six months old.
We removed one of the walls, but the bed was lower than our bed. At that moment, my son wasn’t crawling yet, so he couldn’t get over to us on his own, but I could calmly take him at night to feed him, and that suited me.
Later, my son learned to climb over to us, and I had to put a low side so that I could take him out of the crib while sitting on my bed. When my son learned to stand up, I had to raise the side higher. It became inconvenient to take him for feeding, but by that time I was only feeding him three or four times a night.
When I cut down on all nighttime feedings, we moved the crib a little and later moved it to the other side of the room. My son began to sleep better in the morning.
For the first six months my son slept on our bed on his side or on his back
The son is already sleeping in his bed, which is attached to ours. Roller for tightness, I first made from a pillow for pregnant women
Now the crib is separate from our bed. I removed the roller from it when my son started to get up
My son is already sleeping in his own bed, which is next to ours. I first made a cushion for tightness from a pregnancy pillow. Now the crib is separate from our bed. I removed the roller from it when my son started to get up
What influences a child’s sleep
Rhythm of sleep and wakefulness
With a child under one year old, it is more correct to talk not about the regime or routine, but about the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness. Because all deeds and dreams are tied not to a specific time, but to the moment of awakening. The time until the next sleep is counted from it.
The time between sleeps is called waking time: this is generally all the time that the child does not sleep, including bedtime. In order to qualitatively prepare the child for sleep, the time of wakefulness should be divided into stages.
Active wakefulness. This is the stage when the child has fun and noisy time, moves and plays a lot, gets new impressions and experiences vivid emotions. This stage begins immediately after sleep and lasts about 3/4 of the time of wakefulness. At this time, the room should be light, or you and your child should be outside. It is important that he is tired, but not overexcited and not overtired. At this stage, we usually eat, go for a walk or play, bathe the baby. Bathing can be relaxing for some children, but mine, on the contrary, is fun.
I gave my child vitamin D, which is prescribed for absolutely all children. When we missed an appointment for several days because the old bottle was over and the new one had not yet arrived, I noticed that my son woke up less on those nights. The usual number of awakenings returned when the vitamin appeared again in the diet.
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Calm wakefulness or “bridge to sleep”. This is also a common pastime, but already quiet games with a slightly dimmed warm light. This stage should calm, slow down, but not lull the baby. We do not yet tell the child that it is time to sleep, but we are already preparing the ground for this. The bridge should take up about a fifth of the total waking time.
We usually start the bridge with a snack, collect toys and things, at the end of the bridge we change into pajamas and read a book. The same activities calm some children, while others amuse, you need to look at the reaction of the child. Muted light helps me well – instead of a chandelier, we turn on a sconce.
Ritual — actions repeated before each sleep that unequivocally tell the child that it is time to sleep. Usually takes 5 to 15 minutes. The shorter the wake time, the shorter the ritual lasts. Actions during the ritual should relax the child and be the same every time. Mom, dad and grandmother may have their own ritual. The main thing is that the child has time to remember and understand that after these actions he falls asleep. The atmosphere should be even calmer than on the bridge stage, the lights should be dimmed more. To do this, we close the windows with foil and blinds, but the sconce is still on, and the curtains are open.
We have the following ritual: turn on white noise, tell my son that it’s time to sleep, carry around the room on my arms, say kind words. In the process, we close the door, the curtains, turn off the light, in complete darkness I put my son to bed, I say “fall asleep, baby”, I pet him a little and go to my bed. This is where the ritual ends and the child begins to fall asleep.
The process of falling asleep can take from a minute to infinity, but it is better if it lasts no more than 20 minutes. If it is much longer, most likely, there are shortcomings in the organization of sleep. A child can fall asleep by kissing his chest, sitting on the arms of a parent who is rocking him, lying in his crib or in some other convenient way for him.
For the first six months, my son most often fell asleep while suckling. It was difficult to accurately determine the moment of falling asleep: even in a dream, the son would not let go of his chest and could toss and turn. Now he falls asleep separately from me, lying in his bed. I listen to how he crawls on it, sometimes makes some sounds. I understand that the dream has begun only if the silence lasts a few minutes.
Falling asleep is called independent, in which there are no active actions of an adult. That is, they put him in a bed and left. This dream of many parents is not so far-fetched. But if a child has strong associations for falling asleep – chest, motion sickness – you will have to work. I will talk about avoiding such associations later in the article.
From birth to six months, my son fell asleep mainly on his chest, once a day in a stroller on the street and sometimes in his father’s arms while swinging on a fitball and singing. The husband did not always sing classical lullabies. The repertoire consisted of calm songs of Russian rock. Therefore, when at six months I began to teach the baby to fall asleep without a breast, I also sang, including my father’s songs. Over time, four lullabies remained in the repertoire. Now my son falls asleep more often and prolongs sleep without lullabies. But sometimes you still have to sing if the son cries when going to bed, when he takes a walk or is overexcited – about once every couple of weeks.
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It can take more than a week to build the right rhythm for a child to sleep and wake up. To understand when it’s time to go to bed, you need to focus on the approximate norms of wakefulness and monitor the signs of a child’s fatigue. He can rub his eyes, tug at his ears, yawn or fix his gaze at one point.
You need to learn not to confuse signs of fatigue with similar, but not sleep-related actions: rub your eye because a mote hit, yawn because the game is boring, as well as with signs of overwork when the child went too far or got overexcited during the game. Usually at this moment the child becomes more nervous, may crash into an obstacle or burst into tears out of the blue. In order not to confuse whether his behavior is related to sleep, you need to compare the actions of the child with the time of his wakefulness and carefully observe him. Therefore, it will not work to build a regime in a day or two: most likely, it will take a week, maybe even two. It is important to work on the regime on ordinary days, without trips and guests, because any emotional load, even positive, can knock down both the time of wakefulness and the duration of sleep.
For example, I noticed from my child that if guests come to us, even in the morning, then at night he will wake up more often. I followed the whole regimen, during the day my son slept as usual, at night he also fell asleep peacefully. But during the night I woke up three times, although usually I could already sleep through the night or wake up once in the morning. The situation with the guests was repeated twice, so I’m sure that the point is in strong impressions.
The right routine, together with the right sleep conditions and physical comfort, solves the vast majority of sleep problems. But sometimes this is not enough and the child has short dreams or frequent night awakenings. Then it is worth working with associations for falling asleep. But only after making sure that the first three points are met, the child does not get sick and does not experience a leap in development. Such periods can temporarily impair sleep.
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Everything that surrounds the child at the moment of falling asleep becomes for him associations for sleep: the place of sleep, the presence and actions of an adult, darkness, sounds and even smells. Associations help the child fall asleep faster. They can be divided into weak and strong. The latter are sometimes called negative, although there is nothing wrong with them. This is breastfeeding or motion sickness in a stroller or on a fitball. Without strong associations, it will be very difficult for a child to fall asleep, even if all the weak ones are present.
It happens that parents want to change their habitual way of bedtime, to change strong associations. It is important to remember that abrupt withdrawal does not work: the child will cry and demand habitual conditions and rituals. To avoid active protest of the baby, you should first expand the set of associations. For example, always lay in the same place, with the same light and white noise, and also introduce weaker associations. For example, when rocking, sing lullabies, while breastfeeding, stroke the baby on the back. After a few days, the child will begin to associate these actions with sleep, it will be possible to gradually move away from strong associations: for example, pump with pauses or feed not until falling asleep, but until calm. When the child completely gets rid of the strongest associations, you can also gradually remove the weak ones. Or leave if they suit you.
There are also several methods for teaching a child to fall asleep on his own. They are divided into hard, but fast, and soft, but slow. The choice depends on your situation. All of them are described on specialized sites, for example, on “Sleep, baby.”
Whatever method you choose, before starting work, you should rest, sleep and recover, because you will need strength. The result strongly depends on your mood and readiness to act according to the chosen plan.
If you have worked through absolutely all aspects of sleep organization, taught your child to fall asleep on his own, but he still has problems with sleep, it may be worth taking him to a pediatric neurologist or somnologist. The doctor will deal with the correction of not behavioral, but physiological problems.
How and why to keep a sleep diary
It is impossible to work on the rhythm of a child’s sleep and wakefulness without a sleep diary. It is necessary to record the time of sleep and the beginning of all stages of wakefulness, as well as all the features of the day and bedtime: visits of guests, vaccinations and other special events, how many times and what the child ate and how the bedtime ritual went. This will allow you to understand the causes that affect sleep, and choose the optimal time to start each of the stages of the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness.
It is important to record time to the minute, otherwise you may “lose” a lot of sleep or wake time during the day. For example, if a child sleeps four sleeps and on each falling asleep and waking up you round the time by 3-4 minutes, then when counting, you will lose 24-32 minutes of daytime sleep. The time of wakefulness is added by the same amount. This may be important in determining the individual sleep rate.
You can keep a diary in a notepad, in notes on a smartphone, in Google Docs, or in a special application. I tried every one of the options.
The application on the phone asked me to press “start” when falling asleep and “stop” when waking up, you can not record something later. Very strange mechanics, because the child often falls asleep in his arms. To press the button, you need to unlock the phone, and if the touch ID does not work the first time, the phone will vibrate. Then you need to open the application and press some buttons. All this woke up the child and distracted him when he woke up.
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Notes on start instantly. To see the time, just activate the screen with any button and look at it. I wrote down the time when it was convenient, without the risk of waking the child. It was simple, but not informative, I could not analyze such a diary. Therefore, based on these notes, I began to draw graphs in a paper notebook. With their help, I saw a certain trend: if my son got up later that day, then most likely he would have fewer dreams, and I realized that my son was gaining sleep for his age.
Graphs in a notebook. Columns are times, rows are days. The blue rectangles are the time of night sleep, the blue ones are the time of the day. The son’s dream time in the notes on the phone
I wrote down the sleep time in the phone notes in April and May, and when I started working with a sleep consultant in June, she gave a link to the table tables” with its own diary form. It contained formulas for conveniently calculating the time of sleep, wakefulness and bedtime. Everything had to be written down in a diary in great detail. At first, it really tired me, but then I got used to it. I entered the data into the table, the consultant could see them. And then tell me about the shortcomings and explain the patterns that are visible thanks to the diary.
I shortened the form as soon as I finished working with the consultant. She left only the important parameters for me: the time of getting up and going to bed, the start and end of sleep, as well as comments on them. For example, if I had to sing for my son to fall asleep. If the dream passed as usual, then I write down only the time.
I’ve added a Rhythm of the Day tab to my form. I enter the time of awakening into it, and the time for the bridge and laying down is calculated automatically in accordance with the rhythm that I determined. If I notice that it’s time to increase the time of wakefulness, then I change only a few numbers in the document.
The abbreviated form is not enough for learning to fall asleep on your own or finding the optimal rhythm of sleep and wakefulness. It is important to record the time of night awakenings, all stages of wakefulness and describe them in detail. But I completed my active phase of work and at that time followed the developed strategy.
The main sheet of the diary, information on one dream. Four dreams are 184 lines: you need to describe in detail each dream and the time of wakefulness that was in front of it. Another sheet of the diary in the form of a consultant. Here I wrote down only the date, the number of awakenings and feedings, and the rest is automatically pulled up from other sheets. An abbreviated version of the table. I need about 30 lines for two daytime and nighttime sleep. And then I mainly fill in only the time, if active wakefulness, the bridge, the ritual and falling asleep passed as usual, and the dream was without awakenings. The Rhythm of the Day tab for two dreams. Column C shows the time that needs to be added to the time to get up from the next sleep to start the stage from column A. I enter only the time of getting up in cells B2, B6, B10, and the start time of the stage is calculated in column B automatically
How to choose a sleep consultant
There is a lot of different information on the Internet about a child’s sleep, some articles or expert opinions contradict others. As a reader, I could not understand what was better: for the child to sleep with me or to lie in a separate bed, by what method to teach him to fall asleep on his own, and so on. It was easy to get confused, even easier to miss something important. I decided to call a sleep consultant for help to figure it all out.
Here’s what I did to find a specialist:
I studied the specialist’s blog, looked at it during live broadcasts and webinars. This helped me understand that I would be comfortable working with this person, that I could trust him.
Read customer reviews. I found a review in which a specialist solved the same problem as mine, and this gave me strength and confidence. It would be strange to trust a specialist about whom no one has written anything.
I checked the certificate of completion of special courses. This is a young profession, it is only 20 years old – educational standards have not been formed, this is not taught in universities.
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I did not find out if the specialist is a member of the International Association of Infant Sleep Consultants – IACSC – or the all-Russian public organization “Russian Society of Somnologists”. At that time, I did not know about such organizations, but over time I realized that membership in them could be an advantage. Non-profit organizations check the experience of applicants for membership before approving an application for membership. At the same time, there are a lot of good specialists who do not belong to any associations. My consultant is one of those.
It is important to understand that even the best consultant will not do all the work for you. Only you can see the signs of your child’s fatigue, calm him down before going to bed, replace one association with another. A consultant is needed to tell how to act, point out mistakes and support in difficult moments.
Formats of working with a consultant can be different. This can be a one-hour consultation or full-fledged support for a month. The latter option is suitable for those who want not only to build a routine, but also to teach the child to fall asleep on his own – usually it takes no more than a month.
You can find a sleep consultant on specialized websites or social networks. But, most likely, the consultant will find you himself, or rather, his targeted advertising. It was the same with me: I learned about the existence of sleep consultants from an advertisement on Instagram. I subscribed to the specialist’s blog and began to slowly read posts, listen to free broadcasts. Then my son was two months old and I studied information for the future. When the child was five months old, his sleep began to deteriorate. Instead of the usual 4-6 nightly awakenings, the son woke up 10-12 times. Before a daytime sleep, he was capricious on his chest for half an hour, and it took an hour to rock him in a stroller.
After a couple of weeks, I realized that I could not cope on my own, and decided to contact a sleep specialist for individual support. I chose my specialist because I liked the system with which she gave information. I was impressed that the story about paid services was at the end, and not at the beginning of free broadcasts.
The night when my son woke up 16 times finally convinced me to contact a consultant. The specialist was just starting a three-week course in the format of “training and individual support”. It cost the same as the usual individual accompaniment, 9900 R. My husband gave me participation in it for my birthday.
9900 R
cost a three-week course on children’s sleep
How the consultant and I worked on the quality of my son’s sleep
It all started with a table that I filled out every day. Anastasia, that is the name of my consultant, wrote comments on these days. If I had questions, I dictated them on WhatsApp and received answers the same day.
The educational part of the course is about a dozen videos on YouTube. They helped me systematize old knowledge and sort out the details, but it was individual work that brought results. The theory helped to speak the same language with the specialist, we understood each other better.
Based on the results of the first day of observations, it turned out that the room was not dark enough, at the same time we began to build a rhythm of sleep and wakefulness. On the advice of a specialist, I reduced the first time of wakefulness. It can be noticeably shorter than the others, and the last one is longer. Anastasia advised not to rock her son in a wheelchair: there he fell asleep for a long time, with great difficulty. Then she told me to change the number of dreams and the duration of wakefulness, depending on the duration of the first daytime sleep. If it was more than 40 minutes, I reduced the number of dreams from four to three and put me to bed early at night.
Sometimes I wanted to ignore advice. For example, I was sure that the room was dark enough and I would not do anything with the windows. But then she stepped over herself and did as the consultant said. The child’s sleep became better, and I began to trust her more.
In parallel with the adjustment of the regimen, we worked on a gradual separation of sleep and chest. This was necessary to exclude night awakenings, but the son did not want to give up the breast even at night. Anastasia and I agreed that I would feed the baby at the stage of the ritual, and put him to bed without a breast for a night’s sleep. This did not suit my son, he protested violently, but I calmed him down by stroking and singing. He fell asleep after 15 minutes, although he could have been screaming for an hour.
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It was very hard, but necessary. On the following nights, the son fell asleep easier. When he was completely used to falling asleep without a breast at night, I put him in a crib and began to teach him to fall asleep there during the day.
After three weeks, my son began to sleep better: he no longer needed my participation to fall asleep. At night he woke up half as often, six or eight times, and my husband liked the darkness. I finally felt that I could sleep, although I still couldn’t sleep all night long.
This is me telling Anastasia about falling asleep for the first time without a breast
When my son was seven months old, he started having problems sleeping again: he stopped falling asleep for the third daytime sleep, often cried when laying down, the number of night awakenings did not decrease. Therefore, I again turned to Anastasia, and we agreed on individual support for a week. Usually such a service costs 1900 R, but Anastasia offered a discount and in the end took 1500 R from me.
Everything was the same as before: I filled out the diary in detail, and Anastasia commented on this in Google Spreadsheets and WhatsApp. This time there were two problems: the son learned to stand up and practiced this skill where it is convenient – in the crib, because there you can grab the sides. The second problem arose due to my fault. I thought that since my son was a month older, it was time for him to go to bed later and stay awake more.
On the advice of Anastasia, we returned to the former first time of wakefulness and began to practice the skill of getting up. When falling asleep for daytime and nighttime sleep, I gently pressed the child with my hand so that he would not get up in the crib. During night awakenings, they did without it. We noticed that the son began to fall asleep well on the third dream, if the first slept for a long time. It turned out that this is also important.
The third time I turned to Anastasia was in November, when my son was 11 months old. He began to wake up at night three to five times, compared to the norm of one or two times. Before the second sleep, he cried for a long time, could not fall asleep at all and asked for an adult bed. This time I paid 1900 R.
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Before that, my son had a growth spurt, he was sick and went to relatives, and I broke the rules: I took to sleep with me, although my son was used to sleeping in her bed, at night she soothed with her breast, although she could soothe with a lullaby, and so on. That is, the son felt that he could demand more, and did it. I had to once again build boundaries, put in order the conditions for falling asleep and prolonging sleep, and overcome the protest. With the support of a consultant, all this was much easier than it could have been. I was sure that I was not mocking the child, but helping him get used to falling asleep again without my help.
I also learned that at the age of 11 months there may be a false rejection of the second dream, but it is too early to switch to one dream. To make it easier for my son to fall asleep for the second dream, I had to be stricter about the daily routine: start the bridge earlier, do more blackout at this stage. The son began to sleep better at night and during the day.
Now my son is one year and four months old, he falls asleep without my help in his bed. I alternate days with one and two dreams, but, apparently, very soon we will finally switch to one dream. My son usually sleeps through the night without waking up, except when he is teething. Previously, the appearance of a new tooth did not cause changes in the behavior and condition of the son, the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness did not change. But gradually the teeth began to erupt more and more problematic: during this period, the son began to become capricious, and after he was one year old, the temperature even began to rise. These are natural changes that do not require the attention of a sleep specialist: as soon as the tooth erupts completely, everything returns to normal.
How much money I spent on my child’s sleep
I calculated the expenses for everything that helped my son sleep better. I don’t take into account the crib, mattress, bed linen, pajamas, curtains and the YouTube Premium subscription in the calculations, because I would buy all this anyway. Spending on sleep is one of the most useful expenses for a child: he is vigorous and develops well, and I have the strength to take care of my family, because now I also get enough sleep.
Expenses for solving problems with a child’s sleep — 14,999 R
Working with a consultant
13 300 Р
Bed rails
999 Р
Pleated blinds
599 Р
Foil
101 P
Working with a consultant
13 300 r
sides per crib
999 r
Lulyuzi-pliss
599
foil
101 R
Remember
If your baby is not sleeping well, this can be corrected.
It makes no sense to teach a child under four to six months to fall asleep on his own.
Until the physical comfort and conditions of falling asleep are worked out, it makes no sense to take up the regimen and associations for falling asleep.
A sleep diary will help you build a rhythm of sleep and wakefulness.
See a sleep consultant if you can’t manage on your own. But just paying a specialist in the hope of solving the child’s sleep problems in this way will not work: first of all, this is a difficult and painstaking job for parents. Nothing will come of it without her.
Co-sleeping: how it happens
where it all started
The idea of a joint night sleep of a mother (or both parents) with a child in our country has become popular only in the last ten to fifteen years. Prior to this, it was believed that the child should only sleep in his own bed, and it was impossible to take him to the parent: this is indecent, dangerous, especially if the baby has his own bed. But then society became freer, women stopped working as before, and began to spend more time in the family, and gradually life with a child changed. Probably, the appearance of free feeding also played a role, because it also implies night feeding. This is how you get up to the baby’s bed several times a night, feed him, put him back, just fall asleep – you have to get up again. At some point, a woman is ready for anything, just so that the child falls asleep and she herself sleeps at least a little. In order to somehow save energy, mothers began to take their children to bed – this is how joint sleep began.
benefits of co-sleeping
Co-sleeping is convenient for many women: you don’t have to constantly get up at night, take the baby in your arms, sit with him while feeding, and then lay him down again. The baby lies nearby, and even if he wakes up, you just need to give him a breast, and then sleep on. And it’s not always necessary to feed: it’s enough just to stroke someone, that is, to show the baby that mom is nearby and everything is in order. Co-sleeping is convenient not only for adults: many children like to sleep in their parents’ bed and nothing more. This is understandable: it’s warm, your beloved mother is nearby, you had a terrible dream or you want to eat – you were immediately reassured or fed. In any case, the child falls asleep faster, which means that the whole family sleeps better.
if you don’t like co-sleeping
Many moms and kids enjoy co-sleeping, but that doesn’t mean everyone does. Each person has his own character, temperament and habits. If some woman sleeps calmly in bed with a child, then another such dream is not suitable. For example, a mother is afraid to crush a child in a dream, sleeps anxiously with him, often wakes up in fear: how is her child, did she crush him? She is not reassured by the arguments of supporters of co-sleeping that the baby’s mother has superficial sleep and she always controls herself and the sleeping child. In the same bed with a child, a woman still sleeps restlessly. It is easier for her to fall asleep deeply in her bed for at least a couple of hours and periodically get up to the baby at night than to sleep superficially, but anxiously with him in a common bed. And why bother then?
Other parents themselves sleep restlessly, pushing each other in their sleep. Where are they in the bed for another baby? Some people like order in everything. For them, this means that the child must sleep in the crib. In general, parents have plenty of reasons to sleep separately. This is completely normal.
what children want
By the way, children also have different attitudes towards co-sleeping. Some people like to sleep with mom and dad, and try to put them separately. No matter how much you pump, no matter how much you sing songs, no matter how much you put in a cradle or even a side bed – no, they will cry until their parents put them in their bed. That’s the only way they want to sleep, and that’s it!
But there are such children (although there are fewer of them) who prefer to sleep in their own bed, they prefer it, that is, they like this sleeping place more than their parents’ bed. If you put them in your crib, then they sleep peacefully in it, but in an adult they don’t want to fall asleep at all.
There are other options: it is, of course, more pleasant for a child to sleep with mom and dad, but you can persuade him to sleep in your own bed. And someone just needs to fall asleep with his mother, and then his parents easily transfer him to a crib.
what to do
So how does a child sleep: with their parents or in their own crib? Each family decides for itself. Parents agree to sleep in the same bed with the baby, it is convenient for them, everything suits them, they get enough sleep, which means that the family sleeps together. If dad is unhappy, and mom can’t sleep well in the same bed with the child, one of them is uncomfortable sleeping together or just doesn’t feel like it, then it’s better to sleep separately from the child. And here it is necessary to take into account only the opinion of the family, and not friends, relatives, acquaintances, psychologists and any other strangers. Each family has its own habits, its own way of life.
By the way, there is an excellent compromise option – a side bed at the level of the parent bed mattress. On the one hand, the child sleeps next to the mother, and on the other hand, he is still at a safe distance from her. It is convenient for everyone: both the baby and the parents.
if you want to sleep together
If parents sleep with a child in the same bed, then it is necessary to ensure his safety.
1. The mattress on the bed should be sufficiently hard and wide.
2. It doesn’t matter where the baby sleeps – on the edge or in the middle, there should be a side on the bed so that the baby does not fall.
3. There should be no pillows or soft cushions near the child.
4. Do not cover the child with a parental blanket.
5. You can not sleep with a child after taking alcohol and strong drugs
You should not worry when you hear a variety of opinions: “Now he is sleeping with you, which means that later he will be a little boy. Put him in your crib – so he will become independent faster! “Sleeping together is pampering, then you won’t remove the child from your neck.” Or vice versa: “The child should be day and night next to the mother. Joint sleep will help him become open to the world, less anxious, smart, kind … “” Joint sleep will strengthen ties in the family, the child will be closer to his parents …” No, it’s certainly nice to think that all night sacrifices are not in vain and sleeping with the child together or, conversely, by accustoming him to independent sleep in a crib, you are programming him something so exceptional for the future. And then, as a result, your child will grow up and become a smart top manager of Gazprom, making independent decisions, or, in extreme cases, at least a glass of water in old age. Be realistic: no one knows how things will turn out.
Sleep is needed to recover and rest, which means that at night you need to gain strength for the next day. And it is very difficult to do this with young children! So it doesn’t matter if you sleep together or apart – sleep the way you like.
Co-sleeping is convenient for many women: you do not have to constantly get up at night, take the baby in your arms, sit with him during feeding, and then put him down again. The baby lies nearby, and even if he wakes up, you just need to give him a breast, and then sleep on yourself further
Many mothers and children like co-sleeping, but this does not mean that everyone. Each person has his own character, temperament and habits. If a woman sleeps calmly in bed with a child, then another such dream is not suitable
There is an excellent compromise option – an extra bed at the level of the parent bed mattress. On the one hand, the child sleeps next to the mother, and on the other hand, he is still at a safe distance from her.
How to sleep with a baby
establish a general routine
What do most women do when their baby falls asleep? Someone rushes to cook, someone begins to hastily clean the apartment, iron, wash – there are always plenty of things to do in the family. But in vain. You can do household chores even when the baby is awake, but he definitely won’t let you sleep. Therefore, if a son or daughter falls asleep, drop everything and go to bed with the child. There is no perfect order or dinner is not prepared? You can do all this later, when you rest, and, by the way, you will most likely spend much less time and effort. Therefore, the first rule of mom’s regimen: sleep when the baby sleeps. To feel normal, a woman (especially a nursing mother) must sleep both at night and during the day. So adjust the general regimen of the day: you can adapt to the child’s sleep, or, on the contrary, you can adjust the child’s sleep to your routine (although this will be more difficult to do).
get help
Use volunteers as often as possible to babysit, walk, or just feed. And here the help of the husband, grandparents will be invaluable. Do not trust the baby mother-in-law? Do you think that dad will not be able to entertain the baby for a couple of hours? Worried that grandpa will get lost with the baby while strolling around the house? In vain. Your loved ones are adults, they wish both you and the baby only the best and are unlikely to harm him in any way. At most, a diaper is buttoned crookedly, an extra blouse is put on the baby, or they give him the wrong nipple.
If possible, make arrangements with your family so that they can babysit at least two or three times a week, giving you a couple of hours to sleep and rest. By the way, for this you can invite a nanny. And again – no household chores at this time, only – sleep!
sleeping with the baby
Co-sleeping has many advantages: the mother does not have to get up, wake up, go to the crib, get the baby out of it. She can feed the baby and at the same time almost never wake up: after all, the baby will find the breast on its own. Yes, and many children sleep only with their parents – in order to fall asleep, some babies need to feel the familiar smell and warmth of a loved one. This method has both its supporters and opponents, but in any case, if you choose to sleep together, you need to ensure the safety of the child. You can not put the child on the edge of the bed – he can turn around and fall to the floor; you can not put it next to the parent pillow – the baby may turn unsuccessfully and his breathing will be disturbed.
And it’s best not to put the baby in the same bed with adults, but simply move the crib to the parent’s bed, after removing the side rail from it (today there are even special cribs for sleeping together). So the child will feel the closeness of mom and dad, and parents will sleep peacefully, without worrying about his safety.
“Stock up” with sleep
Scientists have found that lack of sleep or insomnia is fully compensated by a full rash preceding it (or subsequent after it). And if so, then you can “stock up” on sleep. A couple of times a week (well, or one for sure) you need to arrange a day for yourself when the dream lasts 8-9hours per day. Here again, relatives or a nanny will come to the rescue. You can select once a week when you sleep all night, and dad gets up at night for the baby. True, this is convenient when the child is bottle-fed or at least agrees to drink expressed mother’s milk from a bottle at night. If this is not possible, then you need to agree with your husband that, for example, on the weekend he takes the child and works with him for a couple of morning hours, and you fill up the missing time. Or let your grandmother (nanny) come in the morning, who will also let you make up for a night’s sleep.
go to bed together at night
Usually, after putting her baby to sleep, the mother either rushes to finish the day’s work, or tries to find time for herself (surf the Internet, read a book, watch TV, get a manicure). But it is the first three to four hours of sleep at night that children sleep best. Take note of this and go to bed at night at the same time as your baby. Otherwise, you have not yet had time to fall asleep (or just fell asleep), as the baby woke up for night feeding or just like that. As a result, you will get not only a shortened night’s sleep, but for sure at night the baby will wake up a couple more times and interrupt it.
put the child to bed early
As a rule, an adult who goes to bed early wakes up earlier. But in children there is no such pattern. Therefore, do not be afraid that today, having fallen asleep before 9 pm, tomorrow the baby will wake you up at dawn. On the contrary, the later the child falls asleep, the worse and more restless he sleeps. And just early laying gives a more complete and prolonged night’s sleep. And this is exactly what a tired mom needs! But in order to establish such a daily routine, all family members will have to try. But then it becomes much easier for them.
Try to improve your routine and sleep more, and the whole family will feel much better. Even with a small child, it is possible not to feel sleep deprivation. Try it and see for yourself.
If this arrangement suits all members of your family, practice co-sleeping. This is a real salvation for mothers whose children often wake up at night. Sleep deficiency disrupts the formation of serotonin in the body – a biologically active substance, which is also called the hormone of happiness, calmness and good mood. As a result, a person deprived of normal rest constantly experiences irritability and a feeling of depression
Try to instill a regular sleep-wake schedule in your child. This will make your day more organized and make you less tired.
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How to wean a newborn baby from sleeping only in their parents’ arms? Going from endless motion sickness to falling asleep on your own in a crib
How to wean a newborn baby to sleep only in the arms of their parents? We are moving from endless motion sickness to falling asleep on our own in the crib
The baby sleeps most of the time, but parents face difficulties in getting to bed. For many, motion sickness becomes a habit, the child sleeps only in his arms. It takes time and patience, parents get tired, they are interested in how to wean a baby from addiction.
Contents
Causes of “manual sleep”
Sleeps in arms during the day
Is motion sickness necessary?
Komarovsky about the problem
What to do?
Common errors
Causes of “manual sleep”
During childbirth, the baby experiences severe stress, gets into an aggressive environment and is forced to adapt to difficulties. In his arms, he quickly calms down, falls asleep soundly and for a long time. The smell, warmth, mother’s voice and the beating of her heart remind the newborn of the intrauterine environment, are associated with safety. Tactile contact is a natural need, it helps to strengthen the psychological connection.
The closeness of the mother builds confidence in the outside world, has a positive effect on the nervous system and the overall development of the baby. It grows better, has a strong immune system. Touching helps the baby feel the significance, love of relatives. Psychologists recommend spending more time next to the baby before reaching six months.
It is important to understand why the baby sleeps only in mother’s arms. The main reason is anxiety caused by various factors:
Overexcitation – due to increased activity or characteristics of the nervous system;
A tense situation in the family, quarrels – the baby subtly feels the negative;
Discomfort due to uncomfortable clothing, cold or heat in the room;
Extraneous sounds, bright light;
Change of scenery, visiting relatives, traveling.
Being near the mother helps to calm down faster in case of pain, teething, makes the newborn feel better during colic and bloating.
Sleeps in arms during the day
After falling asleep in their arms, they become awake when trying to shift to the crib. Toddlers may refuse to fall asleep on their own for various reasons:
Active games, activities before bedtime, leading to overexcitation of the nervous system;
Hunger due to poor diet or decreased lactation;
Lack of walking during the daytime. Sometimes a child gets used to resting in a stroller on the street, and at home he sleeps during the day only in his mother’s arms.
You need to rest at the same time to form a habit. You won’t be able to immediately refuse to fall asleep in your arms, you need to try to shift the sleeping person into the crib. You can first wrap the baby in a diaper – this will reduce his sensitivity. Should be shifted during the deep sleep phase – the first 20-40 minutes. At the same time, the baby is motionless and does not wake up in the crib. The phase alternates with periods of REM, light sleep, when the baby is easily awoken.
Sling
A baby sling can be a way out, freeing mom’s hands for household chores. But convenience is relative: the position of the child is different from normal, constant movement makes sleep superficial and reduces its quality. Many are laid next to them on an adult bed, if it is convenient for mommy to fall asleep with a child in the daytime.
Extraneous daytime sounds
Parents advise to lie down in the background of noise, which is not always acceptable. The option is optimal up to 3 months, when children sleep in any conditions. During intrauterine development, they were constantly accompanied by sounds similar to a working vacuum cleaner. After birth, out of habit, they fall asleep better in the background of noise. After three months, the child’s body is rebuilt, extraneous sounds begin to irritate. At this time, it is necessary to ensure silence for a full sleep.
Is motion sickness necessary?
Many experts do not recommend rocking a baby because of the negative impact on the development of the vestibular apparatus. Uniform movement has a hypnotic effect, the baby falls asleep faster. Sickness in the arms often becomes a habit and the reason for the refusal to fall asleep in the crib. The alternative in the form of a cradle also forms an addiction. If you stop rocking a sleeping child, he may wake up. Parents are forced to spend time and effort, and later nerves, trying to wean the baby from this habit.
Komarovsky about the problem
Dr. Komarovsky explains that falling asleep in arms is harmful primarily for parents, speaks of a lack of patience and willpower on their part. The need to sleep is natural, long whims speak of additional annoying factors that need to be eliminated.
Many parents take a crying child in their arms instead of finding out the reasons for his dissatisfaction. Komarovsky recommends optimizing the lifestyle of the baby so that he falls asleep on his own.
What to do?
How to wean him from the habit of sleeping on his hands? It is necessary to gradually select other ways of interaction. A few recommendations:
Swaddle until one month of age. A newborn child does not control his movements, in a dream he may be afraid of his hands;
Properly organize a place to rest. Dress and cover according to the environment. It is necessary to eliminate irritants in the form of a working TV, bright lighting, street noise penetrating through an open window. In the daytime, close the curtains tightly to black out;
Pick up more often when awake. Use this time to study at home, when the baby begins to actively explore the world around him. This will help to gradually move away from the “hands-falling asleep” association;
Talk affectionately, sing a lullaby so that the baby feels the closeness of the mother. At first, maintain tactile contact by holding a hand near or gently stroking it. Gradually reduce the time, the baby will learn to fall asleep on its own. You can put your mother’s thing in the crib, the familiar smell will soothe the baby;
Come up with a ritual for falling asleep: a bath with herbs, a relaxing massage, reading a book or a lullaby. Calm music will do;
Avoid active play for 30-40 minutes before bedtime. Adhere to the rest regime, put the child at the same time every day;
Watch the baby, remember under what conditions he quickly fell asleep in a crib without a mother. Learn to distinguish manipulation from crying for other reasons. In case of pain, children do not calm down in their arms for a long time, if the need is only for attention, they fall asleep almost immediately.
A child older than six months should be explained in a calm and reasonable tone that they need to sleep separately. Then try to put to bed without interrupting tactile contact and affectionate conversation. In case of strong crying, pick it up again, repeat the steps. It may take several attempts until the baby calms down.
Common mistakes
Falling asleep in your arms leads to a lack of time, a decrease in the quality of mother’s sleep. As the weight of the baby increases, the load on the joints and spine of an adult increases. This takes parents to extremes.
Negative
Dissatisfaction, anger at the child or the current situation. Negative emotions are transmitted to the baby, aggravating his condition. An adult should be able to cope with a bad mood and look at things positively. The psychological and physical health of the baby depends on this.
Sudden change in upbringing tactics
Abrupt weaning from hands – deprives the child of the necessary caress and is a great stress. It is necessary to act gradually, to select alternative ways of laying, at first to be near the crib.
Loneliness
Leaving a crying child alone for a long time. The technique was proposed by the American pediatrician Benjamin Spock, who admitted his mistake. The baby really screams less and less, gradually gets used to falling asleep on his own. At the same time, he experiences great stress, causing nervous disorders in the future. The healthy formation of a psycho-emotional connection with the mother is disrupted. +
0003
Co-sleeping – suitable for newborns and premature babies. This can be dangerous for the baby, requires sensitivity from adults. If co-sleeping develops into a habit, parents will face the baby’s fear of sleeping separately. This will take time to unlearn and become a new stress.
Many parents pick up the baby if he makes sounds when he is sleeping. It is better to wait a couple of minutes, the baby can calm down on his own. If the crying intensifies, then there is a significant reason: discomfort, pain or hunger, they must be eliminated.
Weaning your baby from sleeping in your arms takes patience, but is an important step in developing independence. It may take a few days, but the effort will be rewarded with a calm children’s sleep and will allow parents to fully relax. In case of difficulties, you should consult a pediatrician on how to wean a child from hands.
Children can sleep with their parents, but not for long. So when should they be evicted from their parent’s bedroom?
In terms of emotional charge, there is only one topic comparable to “sleeping” – weaning. And, apparently, for good reason. So many traumas and unconscious processes are involved in deciding where my baby will sleep.
Mothers today mainly represent two generations – “Dr. Spock’s children” or “perestroika children”. For both, infancy and childhood were overshadowed by early or very early separation. In the maternity hospital, newborns lie separately from their mother. At the slightest problem, the child is put in the hospital – again, it happens without a mother. Nursery, at best, from a year, or even from 7-8 months. Breastfeeding according to the regimen or with the transfer to artificial in three months. Because there are no conditions. None. Mother has to go to work, father’s salary is not enough, we live in cramped circumstances. Plus, as a destabilizing factor – the grandmothers of the military or post-war generation with their experience: “Cry – calm down, why are you jumping up to him like a scalded? It’s too early to feed, three hours have not passed. It is necessary to wean from night feedings, what kind of fashion is this? Put me in bed and go away.”
How many times have I heard stories at the reception about how a child screams behind a closed door. And under the door, his mother is flooded with tears and milk, but she doesn’t come in, doesn’t take him in her arms, doesn’t start feeding him, because you can’t – you spoil, spoil, you have to teach him to be independent so that he can endure.
Endure, yeah. Bimonthly.
When psychologists appeared in our country, they began to publish articles about the formation and destruction of attachment, when Martha and William Surze’s wonderful encyclopedic work “You and Your Child” came out. And the economic and legal situation in the country has also changed – these girls, cut off from their mother’s breasts so early, finally received the legal (approved by experts and almost accepted by society) right to be with their children as long as they want. To be at home with them, not to rush to work and nursery at seven in the morning, to do modeling and applications from cereals, to wallow on special children’s rugs, to read picture books. And yes, breastfeeding endlessly, sleeping in the same bed, growing, feeding, loving your inner baby, so early and cruelly deprived of maternal warmth and affection.
Sleeping with a child up to 1.5 years old – yes
While the child is really a baby, co-sleeping often becomes the only way for the whole family to survive: the night feeding procedure ceases to be a difficult quest. Compare: hear when he has already screamed at the top of his voice, emerge from unconscious oblivion, crawl out of warm into cold, pull out (sometimes already quite weighty) arching body from a deep bed, feed, trying not to fall asleep and not drop, change clothes, put back, start falling back into sleep – and then he woke up again, because somehow he didn’t have ice. And so three to six times a night. Or, without opening your eyes, turn around, stick your chest in, pass out in the same second, and we’ll deal with the diapers in the morning.
Therefore, if conditions permit, I am wholeheartedly in favor of co-sleeping with babies. But! Not all children need it, not all mothers are comfortable sleeping with children – sometimes this just gets in the way. I would advise putting the newborn in a basket / cradle / crib close to the parent’s bed and observe. If everyone is happy – great, we leave it that way. If in a month you feel like a zombie, called to active work by voodoo witchcraft, try putting the child next to you. If it doesn’t get better, the problem is not the distance, but something else.
The child grows, develops, his needs change. And for some reason, adherents of co-sleeping and breastfeeding before school miss this moment. For the first year and a half, the main task of any person is to establish a strong, reliable connection with loving loved ones. This is the basis of future well-being, the key to mental and somatic health. The child must be constantly “with someone”, and during sleep too, so as not to waste precious energy on a minute-by-minute check “Didn’t all my fellow tribesmen die by chance, wasn’t I left alone in the wild?”.
But from the age of 1.5, the child is ready to move to another bed
With normal development, by about a year and a half, Shnyr lives in our house: an inquisitive, nimble clot of energy that sticks its nose everywhere, does not obey, runs away, argues, demands, gets angry, throws tantrums out of the blue, still does not know how to control himself, but really wants to be in charge. This is a difficult time for parents, because you can’t take your eyes off him, running like that, once again, and he still doesn’t know how to play, and “voice control” is still poorly installed.
This phase of development is called “separation” – that is, separation. Everyone has heard this word, but few understand what it means in practice.
And here’s the thing: if before the beginning of this stage the child perceives himself as a single whole with the mother (and in the prenatal, intrauterine period it is so, and in the breastfeeding period it is almost so), then after 18 months the child begins to realize that he and his mother are two different people. Moreover, it would be good if the mother also began to realize this. If a child speaks, then by the age of two he should already be talking about himself in the first person: “I fell” instead of “Sasha fell.” He can quite calmly remain without his mother, but not for long, he can keep her image in his memory instead of a living person. That is, a two-year-old understands the words “mom went to the store and will come soon”, and does not sit near the door for two hours and does not yell “maamuu want!”
The most important thing is to stop breastfeeding. To console, calm, please the child, the mother already uses other methods than “give breasts”: she can hug him, kiss him, talk, explain, spend time with him in the game.
Including – at night.
Set a clear rule: everyone sleeps in their own beds
In many families, putting the child to bed is the most difficult and painful procedure.
“He only agrees to sleep with me. He falls asleep only with his breast. My husband has been sleeping on the sofa for two years now. We don’t know how to fight it.”
I really sympathize with you, my friends! Indeed, after a tiring day filled with worries, anxieties, work, the last thing you dream about is another round of struggle for power. It is much easier to let the child have his own, albeit illegal, but familiar place in the marital bed. So what if dad is unhappy. It’s better than no one gets enough sleep!
No, not better. Yes, tactically you win: the child sleeps peacefully all night, there are no endless walking back and forth, no need to get up several times during the night to put the defector into his borders. But in a mental sense, you lose a lot: the main thing is that your married couple suffers.
Instead of the couple “husband + wife”, a couple “mother + child” appears, in which there is simply no place for the third
The child receives a false idea of himself as a partner of the mother, and the father becomes an exile. For a child, this is a destructive construct. The most important message that he should receive from his parents at this stage is: “We have power in the family. We love you very much, we will take care and protect you, but we will manage your life, and not vice versa. The child is loaded with an absolutely unbearable burden for him: to be the head of the family. What did you think? If who, with whom, where and when sleeps depends on his desires – who is he? Of course, the king and god!
The role of the father is very important in this struggle. It is necessary that he enter into this situation not from the position of a jealous senior sibling – “My mother!”. And from the position of a parent: “My mother and I decided this. Everyone sleeps in their beds. I am ready to sit with you before going to bed, read, tell stories, but you will sleep in your bed. Because this is the order. By the way, in my experience, when parents act in concert, children obey much calmer and faster.
Yes, you will have to endure the grief of a beloved child. He really grieves, mourns the lost paradise, when he was one with his mother, she belonged and obeyed only him. Facing reality can be painful. Our duty is to help the child survive this loss, to be there, but not to rush to return everything back. After all, now you are teaching him how to deal with the problem “When you really want to, but you can’t.” Humble yourself, mourn and live on at a new level.
Otherwise, we end up with a whole generation of people who are deeply and sincerely convinced that “you just have to want it the right way – and everything will work out.” No, my dear, one desire is not enough. Some things we can get if we put in the effort, and some we never get. I’m sorry you’re so upset, I can stay by your side, but the situation will not change: no means no.
Technically, this means that at about one and a half years the child moves into his own crib in the parent’s bedroom, and closer to three years – in his own room (if any). At first, of course, he will try to come to you in the middle of the night. If it is acceptable for you, let him sleep with you. But the rule must be stated: everyone sleeps in their own beds.
Head of the BabySleep Center, the first sleep consultant in Russia, author of the BabySleep 9 methodology0003
Mother of three
One of the most common questions a sleep consultant gets is how to get a baby to fall asleep without breastfeeding. Is it possible to separate sleep and food, and should a child be taught to fall asleep without breastfeeding?
Baby crisis calendar
Why does the mother want to stop breastfeeding?
Between the ages of 9 and 15 months, many children experience severe sleep problems. The baby may wake up 8-10 times a night or even more often, it is difficult to put him back to bed, he constantly requires feeding (especially if he is used to breastfeeding on demand).
Mother and child do not get enough sleep. Constant sleep disturbance, irritation and fatigue are unbearable.
The mother is told that “the baby cannot sleep well if you are breastfeeding”, “only the completion of breastfeeding helped with the baby’s sleep”. It seems that neither she nor the baby can sleep properly because of breastfeeding. Mom decides to wean the child from breastfeeding.
Stop, mother!
Baby’s sleep problems are not related to breastfeeding. It’s all about dream associations. This is how the child is used to falling asleep. If you want to keep breastfeeding and still sleep well, you need to separate food and sleep. That is, to divide the time of sleep and feeding. You will be able to feed the baby before bedtime, and then he will fall asleep. On nighttime awakenings, you will quickly put him to sleep again. You will cut down on nightly attachments, but keep breastfeeding comfortable.
This is a very important topic. It is very difficult to defeat a stereotype that has existed for a long time. Year after year, moms improve their babies’ nighttime sleep through weaning. Sleep and food are separated, the association for sleep – breast sucking – is removed, and the child begins to sleep wonderfully at night.
The delighted mother tells all her friends about this method of improving sleep and willingly shares the secret of good sleep on the Internet. Sometimes she regrets that she had to turn off breastfeeding so early, she wanted to feed longer, and the child gets sick more often. But sleep is more important. It was simply impossible to endure sleep problems anymore, the child had to be weaned, there was no choice. But there is a choice!
How does a baby who sleeps on his chest sleep?
Let’s see how a baby sleeps who falls asleep exclusively at the breast. Evening, the child is tired, it’s time for sleep. From birth, the child is used to the fact that the mother gives him the breast to fall asleep. It is so natural and pleasant, warm and comfortable. This is the association for sleep. To fall asleep, the child needs to eat, that is, sleep = food. Many somnologists in Russia, America and Europe consider falling asleep on the chest a “wrong” association for sleep. Why wrong? Because it impairs sleep. Waking up at night, the child cries and demands to create the conditions in which he is used to falling asleep. That is, he does not need food, but help to continue sleeping.
Indeed, children often wake up at night, and this is an absolute norm. The child sleeps with awakenings between sleep cycles. We adults do too. But we immediately fall asleep again and do not remember this. And in order to continue sleep after the next awakening, the child needs the usual conditions for falling asleep (after all, he simply does not know how to fall asleep in a different way), in our case, the chest.
Should everyone separate food and sleep?
I don’t think going to bed breastfeeding is a bad association for anyone. In the world, most sleep experts are men. Probably, they cannot fully believe that many mothers do not even know exactly how many times their baby is fed during the night when sleeping together with a child, because. Night feedings do not interfere with their sleep. The main criterion in this matter is a calm child and a sleeping mother.
What else affects a child’s sleep?
Now we know why the situation “hangs all night on the chest, doesn’t eat much, but it’s impossible to lay down again without a breast” can arise. The baby falls asleep as best he can, and he only knows how to fit with his breast in his mouth. At the age of 9-15 months, there are other reasons for a child’s poor sleep (not counting the “eternal teeth” and diseases):
Stage of development: baby gets up, tries to walk. He can do this at night too – jump up right in his sleep. This is how he develops a new skill.
Change of mode, transition from 2 dreams to 1. This can affect both the duration and quality of a night’s sleep.
You need to help the baby survive the difficult stage, but try not to introduce new associations to sleep – for example, motion sickness.
How to separate breasts and sleep without curtailing breastfeeding?
It has been decided, we will not introduce new unwanted habits, but what about feeding at night? Maybe curtail breastfeeding, and the association food = sleep will disappear? But WHY finish HB if it’s enough just to separate feeding and falling asleep a little in time?
How to teach a child to fall asleep without a breast? When to feed the baby?
You can breastfeed 20-30 minutes before bedtime. And keep feeding in the morning, at 5-8 o’clock, if you want to keep lactation. If you want to sleep better, you can and should help your child learn to fall asleep on their own. Waking up at night, the baby will calmly roll over to the other side, or it will be enough to say: “sleep, my dear,” and he will continue his sweet dream. There are many methods of teaching self-sleep to sleep, but this article is not about them. Now we are interested in how to teach a child to fall asleep without a breast, how to separate food and sleep?
I will give you some practical ways that you can adapt to your situation.
How to separate food and sleep? Practical advice
1. When a 4–6 month old baby suddenly falls asleep without a breast — rejoice!
If the child himself gives you such an opportunity, do not miss it. This ability (natural for many children) will greatly facilitate your life in the future. When the baby wakes up, feed him well. When it’s time for bed, try laying him down again without breastfeeding. When the baby falls asleep on the chest – good; when without – support it. As a result, sleep will not depend on the breast.
2. Prepare
If you decide to teach your child to fall asleep without a breast:
Spend as much time as possible with your baby. Physical contact and closeness are very important. A lot of attention during the day – a calmer sleep at night.
During the day, offer not only the chest, but also other ways to calm down – hug, carry in your arms, stroke, lie on the bed.
Trust that peace and comfort comes from YOU, not just from your chest. Your confidence will be passed on to your child.
3. Change environment, bed ritual or “layer”
Mom will breastfeed, and then dad or grandmother will read a book, sing a song, hug and help fall asleep. On the first night, for example, on the handles, the main thing is without breasts. Practice shows that this method often works. The chances increase if there is a fairly clear regimen, a ritual of going to bed, masterful abilities of family members: an affectionate, calm, confident voice and the ability to distract.
4. You can apply a quick method of learning to fall asleep on your own
There are different teaching methods. BabySleep does not use or recommend separation between baby and mother (“leave to cry”). Our techniques combine softness and fast efficiency. The methodology is selected by the consultant individually – the choice depends on the age of the child, his individual characteristics and temperament, habits, wishes of the mother and many other factors.
5. Fading technique
Fading is the gradual separation of food and sleep. No tears at all, very soft. But, unfortunately, this way is quite long. We act according to the rule “two steps forward – one step back.”
Essence: We do not refuse to suck before going to bed! Mom feeds, and then offers to listen to a fairy tale or a song, talk, stroke – you need to experiment and find a way to distract.
The baby may ask for a breast again. It is important that entertainment and breastfeeding do not occur at the same time.
I didn’t realize just how “off” baby clothing sizing could be. The first couple of weeks after we had E, it seemed like I was throwing piece after piece into a pile of stuff that just didn’t fit right. It’s literally like women’s sizes, where a small in one store is a large in another. And when you have a baby who’s tall and thin, it can be tough to find clothes that fit well.
Best Baby Clothing Brands
I had bought all of these cute little onesies from stores like Old Navy, only to find out that my baby fit into a size 0-3 months for weight and a 6-12 months in height in that brand. I searched all over the internet for a guide to the best baby clothes for tall babies, and I kept coming up short, so I decided to write my own.
Read down for each brand’s stats on clothing, plus what worked for us.
I’ve shopped practically every baby brand, so if you’re looking for the best clothing brands for your tall, skinny baby, you’re in the right place.
For reference, E was around the 75th percentile for height and somewhere around 4th percentile for weight in the first year. So when I say that she was a “tall and skinny baby,” I’m not kidding!
Overall, my top choice for one brand that offers newborn essentials, organic textile options, mix and match, and a wide range of sizes (for sibling matches!) is Hanna Andersson. Their clothes wear really well, the organic choices are super soft, and if you hit the sales at the right time you can get everything at an affordable price.
Onesies for Tall Babies
There are two places where I found the best onesies for our little lady: Carters (the store) and this European brand. For onesies at the Carters store, this may sound weird but the graphic onesies (aka the ones they sell as one piece separately) never fit well. Go for the multi-packs (usually in solid colors). The European brands (like Petit Bateau) in general tend to run leaner, so they work well for my tall, skinny kiddo. We also had great luck with Monica + Andy, specifically in the footless rompers.
Petit Bateau makes some adorable bodysuits with a little more style than the typical basic bodysuit. They’re the perfect fit for our little one, which is great (that they fit) but not great (that they’re not cheap) at the same time. I watch out for sales and buy for the next year. You can also find them on Amazon.
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For the most basic things, like white onesies and kimono tops, Carters at Target brand has the best prices and cute prints! (Size up one size in this brand.) Primary.com also has great kimono tops for newborns with long arms. Steer clear of Old Navy, Cloud Island at Target, and Baby Gap, which make onesies cut for the average sized baby (so on a tall baby they’re definitely too short or too wide).
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As far as pajamas go, my favorites are from Burt’s Bees, Monica + Andy, Hanna, and Little Sleepies. I want pajamas that still look almost brand new after washing them 10+ times… Something you can hold onto if you plan to have multiple kids. Many of the Hanna jammies don’t have feet, so they will last longer on taller kiddos. (Update: Hanna now has their own brand sold only on Amazon, and the quality is just as good as the Hanna stuff!)
The Little Sleepies pajamas are SO soft, and super stretchy too. You can actually size down in these, because they’re cut to be much larger than other brands. (My 15 month old is still wearing a 6-12 month comfortably.) They make really cute prints in both zip-up styles and top-and-pant style so you can do matching pjs if you have more than one kiddo! Sometimes they have parent matching items too. The unfortunate thing about this brand – and I’m sure all bamboo fabrics – is that they show wash wear after fewer washes than other pjs. I have a separate post about bamboo baby brands if you’re interested in more stretchy pajamas!
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Pants and Leggings for Tall Babies
By far the best pants that fit E are leggings. We love Hanna Andersson (basic leggings), Carters (only certain styles) and Petit Bateau (their own site is closed online but supposedly reopening soon for US shoppers.). We have also found that H&M’s leggings run fairly long compared to other brands and are an affordable price. Another brand that fits really well? Little Marc Jacobs! The skinniest leggings I’ve found are from Primary, and they’re almost too skinny in that they’re really tight around the ankle.
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For brands that aren’t the best fit but work fine: Cat & Jack at Target (they tend to be long enough but occasionally I have to take in the waist a bit) and Burts Bees (NON-pajamas).
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Brands that are hit or miss: Baby Gap, Old Navy (their clothes tend to be for babies who are in the “average” percentile in both height and weight), Janie and Jack (super cute stuff, but again for babies who are not tall and skinny! The J&J pants are not as wide and short as Old Navy’s, but they’re pretty close. I can shop dresses here but that’s about it.). Cloud Island at Target isn’t a great fit, either- they tend to be short and wide, so they fall down on a small waist.
Suggested post: Where to Buy Cute Baby Boy Clothes (0-24 Months)
Sweaters and Sweatshirts for Tall Babies
The best cardigan sweater we had for E was from Petit Bateau, and she wore it almost every day of the fall when she was a newborn. I actually purchased it in the 12M size because we loved it so much, and she still wears that.
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For play sweatshirts, I love Harper Canyon. It’s a Nordstrom brand but you can find it at Nordstrom Rack, too. The best selection is definitely online vs. in store for Nordstrom Rack. H&M makes really great sweatshirts, too, and they’re super affordable. They have fun prints, girly stuff, and boy stuff too, as well as sweatshirt sets with pants.
I also really like this brand for sweaters. They are skinnier in the arms than a lot of other sweaters, which works well for a svelte baby! They also have a lot of pieces you can mix and match.
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Best Holiday Outfits/Special Occasion Stuff
For special occasion wear, I’ve found some great holiday pieces on this smocked clothing site, and the prices are reasonable. This is where I bought E’s summer bubbles and rompers last year. Huge bonus? Almost everything can be monogrammed! They also have swimwear, so it’s kind of a one stop shop for big trips.
This brand is also a great find. It’s available on Amazon, fairly affordable, and has the look of much more expensive brands. (It’s a similar style to Janie & Jack, but the sizing is better for tall kiddos. I love the look of J&J, but I find them to be one of the brands offering kids clothes for the average-sized child.)
Suggested post: Amazon Baby Shopping Haul
Brand Guide: Sizing by brand for baby clothes
I used a 6 month size (or 6-9 months or 6-12 months, depending on the brand) to show you the variation by brand in baby clothing from these popular brands.
Carters: 24-27 inches, 12.5-17 lbs
Cloud Island (Target): 26-27.5 inches, 16.5-19.5 lbs
Hanna Andersson: 26-38 inches, 16-20 lbs (aka 70 cm size)
Janie and Jack: 25-27 inches, 17-19.5 lbs
Just One You by Carters at Target: 24-26.5 inches, 12.5-16.5 lbs
Note on sizing for toddlers: Once you get up into 24 months, look at size 2T instead. It’ll be longer and narrower than the 24 month size.
Where do you shop for baby clothes? Any brands I should check out? If you have any suggestions for the best clothing for a tall baby, let me know!
Brands that Will Fit – Oh Baby Love
*This post may contain affiliate links, please see full disclosure for details.
Aren’t picking out tiny little baby clothes so much fun?! Everything’s so tiny! And itty bitty shoes…The cutest! I loved getting adorable little onesies at baby showers and imagining my baby wearing them.
But, what I didn’t know was that my baby was going to be very chunky and not fit into most of what I had received at those showers! So, I went on a mission from store to store to find brands and clothing that would fit my baby comfortably!
My big baby boy was wearing 18 to 24-month clothes at only 6 months old! He was probably 28 pounds by 9 months old. When I would go places with him, people would always make comments like…How old is he? How much does he weigh? What does his doctor say about him being so big?
My son was off the charts for percentile as far as weight, but our pediatrician was not worried. She said he was healthy!
With my baby being much bigger than his age-sized clothing, I had such a hard time finding clothes that would fit him right! Here’s what finally worked for him!
Baby Clothes For A Chunky Baby: Tips, Brands, & Products That Fit!
Carter’s Baby Boys’ 8-Pack Short-Sleeve Bodysuits, Assorted Pack, New BornCarter’s Baby Girls’ 8-Pack Short-Sleeve Bodysuits, Assorted Pack, New Born
I love Carter’s Onesies, they are soft and have cute patterns!
We had to buy sizes much bigger than his age for them to fit. They fit comfortably even though the onesies were a little long. My sweet boy was chunky and short!
Attention! MOM HACK: Even with bigger-sized onesies, the sleeves might be too tight around the cuffs of the arms on short sleeves or the wrists with long sleeves. Just loosen the seam around the bottom of the sleeves and problem solved! Just stretch it out with your hands!
Carter’s Baby Boys 2 Pack Pants, Black/Blue, NewbornSimple Joys by Carter’s Baby 4-Pack Pant, Gray Stripe, 0-3 Months
All jeans and khakis we tried would not work for my son. Since he had to wear much bigger size clothes for his waist, the length of the pants were all wayyyyy too long. And who wants to pay to get pants hemmed for a growing baby? Not me!
The only kind of pants he wore were sweatpants. They still look just fine dressed up with a nice shirt and cute little shoes for special occasions. You need this kind that has stretchy cuffs at the bottom, you can roll them up around the ankles so they won’t hang over your baby’s feet! Just size way up and fold those ankle cuffs up!
Chubby Baby Clothes: Socks
Fruit of the Loom Baby 6-Pack All Weather Crew-Length Socks, Mesh
Now finding socks were by far the most difficult! Most of the socks we found were WAYYY too tight around his ankles. I tried getting bigger socks to fit his ankles but then they were too long on his cute, chubby little feet.
These socks are all he wore for his first year. Fold them down over baby’s ankles if they come up too high. You may still need to size up, but folding the ankle part down helps the socks not be too floppy!
Chunky Baby Clothes: Bibs!
Aden + Anais Burpy Bib, 100% Cotton Muslin
Most bibs we had were too tight around his neck and there was no way I wanted ANYTHING snug around his little neck. These bibs worked best out of all the drool bibs we tried, and we tried A LOT.
The great part about these bibs is that they are large and are also burp cloths! Use them on your shoulder to burp your baby and then snap it around their necks when needed for a bib. It will completely cover their shoulders too!
After taking my baby from store to store to try on bibs and finding nothing that would fit him, I ordered these on Amazon! And they worked!
New Balance Kid’s 680 V6 Alternative Closure Running Shoe, Candy Pink,New Balance Kid’s 680 V6 Alternative Closure Running Shoe
I used Amazon wardrobe to order A LOT of shoes to determine which brand and sizes would work! My son’s foot was so wide that it was hard to find shoes that we could wiggle his foot into!
We had the same problem that we did with socks. We would try bigger-sized shoes but then they would be too long. Then they were just floppy and looked like clown shoes. Haha!
The winner for us was New Balance Extra Wide shoes! Not too many brands carry toddler and kid shoes that come in WIDE and EXTRA WIDE sizes. Way to go New Balance! They come in several different colors too!
It also has a velcro strap, so no tying shoelaces!
The Children’s Place Baby and Toddler Boys French Terry Fashion ShortsThe Children’s Place Toddler Boys Performance Basketball Shorts 2-Pack
Most shorts that I tried on my son looked like pants because they were so long. I had to order bigger sizes to fit his waist so then the length would end up almost hitting the floor.
The Children’s Place terry shorts and basketball were shorter on my son than other brands and therefore didn’t look so much like pants on him.
They are also very reasonably priced and last a long time. My youngest son has been wearing these shorts that were once his older brothers.
The logo on the basketball shorts peeled off after it had been washed and dried many times but didn’t leave any residue behind, it just peeled off and you can’t tell it was ever there.
Hanes baby boys Ultimate Flexy 5 Pack Short Sleeve Bodysuits Bodystocking, Blue Stripe, 0-6 Months USHanes Ultimate Baby Flexy 3 Pack Adjustable Fit Knit Jogger Pants, Blue Stripe, 0-6 MonthsHanes unisex baby Ultimate Flexy Ankle Length 8-pack Socks, Blues, 0-6 Months US
Amazon has such a fantastic return policy that these products are worth ordering to see what you think. The Hanes Ultimate Baby Flexy clothes are made from cotton, polyester, and spandex.
This line of products is made for babies to be able to wear for longer because the material has a good amount of stretch to it. The sizes come in 6-month increments because your baby is supposed to be able to wear them longer.
I ordered the onesies and pants for my son but ended up returning both. The pants were too long and the cuff didn’t fold up easily like the pants I listed above.
I returned the onesies because I preferred the material of the carter’s onesies better. However, these are just my preferences. This line was able to fit my son, I just preferred my other suggestions better. Buy them and if you don’t like them, return them like I did.
Chunky Baby Clothes: Heavy Jacket
Unfortunately, I don’t have a link for this one, but we found a puffy jacket for our chubby baby at Walmart! We originally ordered this Amazon Essentials Toddler Puffer Jacket when my baby was one year old in a size 2T, however, we returned it.
The Walmart jacket was very similar to the Amazon jacket and half the price! We got a size 2T because he was wearing lots of layers underneath the jacket when we were outside. We also bought a matching puffy jacket for our oldest son!
Chunky Baby Clothes Conclusion:
We’ve also been able to use the same size clothes for over a year! That helps take away some of the sting of not getting to use so many of those cute clothes I got as gifts. My son went from wearing 3 to 6-month clothes to 18 months! Now my son is back on the growth charts for his weight!
Mom Tip for Chubby Baby Clothes:
In your excitement for baby, don’t take off all the tags and wash EVERYTHING you get in Dreft right away. I could have returned a ton of clothes and gotten sizes we could have used instead. When I was pregnant I didn’t even think that my baby might never wear certain sized clothes. Well, now I know! ♥
My back always hurt from carrying that little sack of taters around! But of course, I think he is the cutest little chunk I’ve ever seen!
I hope these tips help you in your search for dressing your chunky baby as well!
We moms with Mega-Babies have to stick together! 🙂
Frequently Asked Questions for Chubby Baby Clothes:
“How Old Was Your Baby When He Thinned Out?”
He was back on the percentile charts around 2 years old. It took him until he was 15 months to walk, probably because he was so big. However, once he started walking he lost weight. I stopped breastfeeding at 15 months too so that probably caused him to slim down some too.
“Is it OK for baby to wear clothes too big?”
This is a great question because I mention sizing up on clothes many times throughout this post, however, you want to make sure none of the clothes you are putting your baby in could be a suffocation risk.
This is especially important for sleepwear. Check out this post about Halo sleepsacks that are great for babies (even chunky ones!) to sleep in that will keep them warm safely.
Shopping for Chunky Baby Clothes on Amazon:
If you haven’t shopped using Amazon Wardrobe, now is the time. You can order up to 8 eligible items and try them on BEFORE you buy, then only pay for what you want to keep! I mentioned doing this for my son’s shoes when I wasn’t sure what would work for him.
Order shoes, onesies, pants, etc in all different sizes to be sure you are getting the best fit for your baby. The information for Amazon Prime Wardrobe is here.
Check out some of my other blog posts!
Get Rid of Diaper Rash Fast!
How to STOP Diaper Leaks!
Baby Proof Hacks and Ideas
Slim Fit Pants for Tall & Skinny Kids
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Goodbye baggy pants.
We’ve moved on…
Goodbye highwaters.
Our ankles are cold.
Hello. Pants for Peanuts
When Slim-Fit Isn’t Slim Enough…
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Boys and Girls Ultra Slim-Fit Twill Pants with Adjustable Waist
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When Slim-Fit Isn’t Slim Enough
If regular slims don’t fit, we’re your solution. We build sizes that don’t exist.
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We just got our first order today. I almost cried. These are pants I have been searching for! My peanut has always had baggy pants. And I was SO NERVOUS to start the cool weather because her 2T is way too short, but 3T literally fell off of her. I didn’t know what we were going to do. A little bit of digging and I found you. I can’t thank you enough for making the pants I have been dreaming of making for a few years.
Katie
Every time we went clothes shopping she asked for jeans like everyone else’s, we just couldn’t find any that fit. She loves her Pants for Peanuts jeans! It’s amazing how a pair of jeans can mean so much to a little person simply because they’ve never had any.
Gina
This is an AMAZING company which has worked hard to bring a fantastic product to the marketplace. My son is 6, has the waist size of 3T/4T but needs at least the length of a size 5. We are both excited to have a pair of great fitting pants! #34pounds #stripeA
Christine
Finally!!! We are so excited for these jeans by Pants for Peanuts! We have had such a hard time finding clothes (especially pants) that fit her 12/18 month waist and 3T length. These pants are fitted by measurements not age. No more “pants” that fit like capris with socks and boots to cover the gap haha
Brittany
Eekk! We just received our first pair of pants for our son and I couldn’t wait to try them on him! First, the shipping was incredibly fast, just 3 days since I ordered them! I have never found a pair of pants that fit so well! My son didn’t want to take them off once he got them on! I will definitely be ordering more soon! I hope in time you will get different colors/washes! Thanks so much!
Beth
Finally pants that fit my daughter just right! They are soft also which is a plus for her bc she has problems with tags and fabrics. Thanks so much! We love our new pants!
Ashley
Finally found pants that fit! I know there will be so many parents that will be grateful. Thank you for creating these and putting your story out there. ♥️
Michelle
You are meeting a need I’d almost given up hope for! Thank you, THANK YOU! My granddaughter wanted jeans “like the other kids,” but never had a pair that didn’t fall off her. My daughter measured her, I ordered Size Peach A, and voila! A miracle happened! She is over the moon with her very first pair of jeans that FIT HER PERFECTLY! It brought tears to my eyes and a huge smile to the face of this nearly 5-yr old and her mom! (I just order 2 more for her!). A grateful grandma!
Cynthia
Baby Clothes – Mary Engelbreit
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10 Adorable Organic Cotton Baby Clothes Brands for 2022
Finding baby and toddler clothes you like and are within your price range can be a challenge.
I can honestly say that I tested a LOT of brands at different price ranges. None of these were sponsored and I’m not obliged to say anything positive or negative about any brand – so if you have any additional questions please ask me in the comment section at the bottom of the post 🙂
BIG NO-NOs and brands I don’t recommend:
When it comes to baby clothes big stores like Walmart, Target, BuyBuyBaby and so on are packed with baby clothes that might seem cheap at the first sight.
The thing is, they look like crap after a few washes, are terribly unsustainable and the designs are quite questionable stereotyping gender and with really stupid slogans.
When I had my first baby I began testing lots of brands after finding out how much choice is out there. Having a tall and skinny boy, I was often looking into girls’ sections as well – only to find that if you visit BuyBuyBaby you’ll pretty much have pink ruffled & blue striped sections available with almost nothing in between.
I wanted the baby clothes to look good without breaking the bank. If you want to get clothes that have a pass-on quality or simply wear them longer than one season, plus are made of good materials I have some recommendations for you.
And, this is before I even knew about ridiculous regulations that require certain items to be sprayed with toxic flame retardants. Since then, I only buy when I know it hasn’t been treated with this.
Before we begin…
Here are some brands I recommend avoiding:
Carters – probably the most popular brand in the US and absolutely terrible, cheesy, and quality is bad.
PatPat – another popular shop due to prices, but you might be better off getting clothes from AliExpress since they’re basically dropshipping it from there. Most clothes there are super off-size (one set for 3 months was actually 2T) and made of very slimy non-breathable materials.
Cat&Jack – leading brand at Target stores, it’s a very stereotypical brand (I challenge you to find a non-glittery or pink stuff for girls), very wide so only works for super chubby babies, and basically done after up to 10 washings (if even). Many of their items get constantly recalled as well.
Organic doesn’t have to mean expensive. These organic and bamboo baby collections are not only chic and affordable, but they’re better for your child’s skin and overall health.
1. Monica + Andy
(cotton)
Best For | Organic rompers & overalls Products | Baby + Toddler Sizing | True to size Ships To | International Price Range | $$
Monica + Andy offers the safest GOTS-certified organic fabrics with limited edition prints.
On the mid-range side for pricing, but they sell quality items and you can get discounts like $20 off your first purchase.
Shipping is super quick as well.
shop now
2. Kate Quinn Organics
(bamboo + cotton)
Best For | Organic rompers & overalls Products | Baby + Toddler Ships To | US Price Range | $
Kate Quinn Organics offers boho designs with the best quality on the market if you ask me. Ironically, their products are the cheapest on the market.
They use 100% organic cotton and bamboo and every single product I got was of amazing quality and totally worth the price.
Plus, they have a rewards program so already cheap items “pay off”.
3. Touched By Nature on Amazon
(cotton)
Best For | Rompers, bibs, crib sheets Products | Baby + Toddler Sizing | Runs large but shrinks after the first wash Ships To | International Price Range | $
Touched by Nature is a very affordable brand that I found completely by accident on Amazon. I have a lot of their rompers and got bibs recently as well.
They offer a wide selection of playful patterns and animal prints.
shop here
4. Molo
(cotton)
Best For | everything! Products | Baby + Toddler Kids Ships To | International Price Range | $$
Molo is a brand that directly doesn’t ship to the US, but has lots of retailers.
I usually get them from Alex+Alexa store. I always thought designer clothes can be fun, but out of range, but fortunately not with this shop as they run lots of sales.
Molo’s designs are bold, fun and my kids love them. They both might be wearing Molo nonstop to be honest… their clothes last forever so it’s definitely a hand-me-down or “sell on Mercari or Poshmark after” type of clothing.
P.S. I love their swim shirts.
shop here
5. Finn + Emma
(cotton)
Best For | Bodysuits & overalls Products | Baby + Toddler Ships To | International Price Range | $$
Finn+Emma is another small company with quality clothes and awesome unisex & not busy too designs.
They use 100% organic cotton. Their cotton begins with crops that are grown without harsh pesticides, are GMO-free, and use far less water than conventional farming methods.
They run lots of sales, so you can get their items for less.
6. Hanna Andersson
(cotton)
Best For | Pajamas Products | Baby + Toddler + Kids + Matching Adults Sizing | Slim fit Ships To | International Price Range | $$
Hanna Andersson is known for its pajamas for the entire family. We have a ton of their pajamas and they keep going strong.
The use of 100 percent organic Pima cotton ensures these garments are breathable.
Their clothes are made for slim kiddos, so if your baby is chubby it might not be the greatest fit, but for mine it’s just perfect.
shop here
7. Primary
(cotton)
Best For | Organic rompers & overalls Products | Baby + Toddler + Kids Ships To | International Price Range | $
Primary uses super soft and sustainable fabrics.
Every color for every kid with no slogans is their motto that I wholeheartedly support.
They tend to run a bit slimmer, which is perfect for my kid, but if you have a child in 50th percentile I suggest sizing up.
shop here
8. Boden
(cotton)
Best For | Sets & shirts Products | Babies + Toddlers + Kids Sizing | Runs slightly large Ships To | International, but takes a while Price Range | $$$
Boden is a cute UK-based shop with clothes of pass-on quality. It is on the pricier side, but they give you a 6-month warranty that you can send a photo of the item if it got bad in the wash and they’ll refund you.
We have a lot of stuff from them. One thing I don’t recommend is their overalls as I’m yet to find a set that’s not falling off.
Boden also gives back to mental health organizations in its local community.
Shop Here
9.
JoJoMaman (cotton)
Best For | Overalls and outwear Products | Babies + Toddlers Sizing | Runs slightly large Ships To | International for a charge Price Range | $$
JojoMaman is another UK-based brand with a range of cute patterns.
I particularly love their overalls and outwear like jackets and snowpants.
They stopped their US shop due to shipping issues caused by covid, but you can still order from their UK site (in fact, it’s cheaper than it was on the American site) and just pay for shipping.
They also occasionally appear on Zulily and then the shipping is free, so keep an eye out.
Or get 15 GBP off your first order.
shop here
10. Owlivia on Amazon
(bamboo + cotton)
Best For | Rompers, footies, sleeping bags Products | Baby + Toddler Ships To | International Price Range | $
Owlivia uses cotton certified by GOTS organic and offers completely unisex designs. They recently also introduced a bamboo collection.
Important: cold wash and don’t put in a dryer, otherwise it will shrink enormously since it’s organic cotton.
shop here
20 Best Baby Clothes Brands 2022
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Babies come into this world with tiny fingers and toes, squishy cheeks, and the softest skin imaginable. And just when you think they couldn’t possibly get any cuter, you get to dress them in tiny, adorable outfits.
Whether for fashion or function, dressing your baby can be an exciting part of the first year and beyond. But what exactly makes the best clothing for baby?
Much is personal preference, but there are some considerations to keep in mind while shopping. Here are some things you should look for, as well as popular brands that have all the parents going gaga.
When buying clothes for your baby, consider the following:
Remember: Basics are best. Outfits with lots of buttons, ruffles, or other extras may be cute, but they may not be practical or comfortable for everyday life. Save those duds for special occasions and aim to create a collection of onesies, leggings/pants, and pajamas that are comfortable for lots of eating and sleeping.
Weigh your fabric options. You’ll see that many baby clothing brands offer organic materials. These are especially good for your baby’s skin because the clothes tend to be soft and free from chemicals. Cotton and other natural materials, like linen, are solid choices because they don’t trap moisture against baby’s skin.
Prioritize function. You’ll want to make sure that baby clothing provides easy access for the many diaper changes ahead. And the same goes for nighttime changes — look for onesies and sleepers that offer handy (and quiet!) zippers and snaps.
Consider neutralcolors. Baby clothes can last you more than one child. If you’re planning to have more than one baby down the line, try looking at clothing that offers prints or colors suitable for either gender. That said, there really are no rules here — pink is a cute color on a girl or boy.
Buy booties. When it comes to shoes, soft soles are preferable for growing feet. Booties are made in all colors, materials, and designs. The best part? Many of them have snaps so they don’t fall off. Otherwise, you may find yourself out and about searching for a missing shoe!
Mind your budget. It can be easy to go overboard with all the prints and colors. The thing is, you don’t have to break the bank to clothe your baby in style. Be sure to splurge on a few key pieces, but keep in mind that babies grow fast and only wear each clothing size (0-3 months, etc.) for a few months (or weeks!) in their first year.
Really, whenever you want! Gathering some pieces of clothing before your baby arrives can be a nice activity and a way to bond with your little one.
That said, if your baby has yet to be born, don’t splurge on a zillion newborn-size onesies — some babies never fit into the “newborn” size or grow out of it quickly.
In fact, most parents end up with way more baby clothes than they can possibly use. Don’t be shy about accepting hand-me-downs from parents of older children or passing yours on to others when your child grows.
And, while we offer a handful of budget-friendly options below, you can often find brand-new baby clothing at thrift stores or through online parent groups.
The following brands are in line with our above criteria in that they’re functional, high quality, and offer a wide range of both gendered and gender-neutral styles. Our team vets brand business standards and we look for responsible brands that run their business with integrity.
Customer recommendations. We focused on highly rated brands that came recommended by parents.
Quality and style. All the brands included have a reputation for high quality materials and design. They are both functional and adorable. Who says babies can’t look fashionable?
Price range. These baby clothes run the gamut in terms of price, so there’s an option for every budget.
Gender-neutral styles. Most brands included in our list of the best baby clothes offer gender-neutral or unisex styles.
Most popular onesies and bodysuits: Burt’s Bees Onesies
Most fashion-forward onesies and bodysuits: Hanna Andersson
Best value onesies and bodysuits: Gerber Childrenswear
Best colored organic baby clothes: L’ovedbaby
Best prints on organic baby clothes: Jazzy Organics
Most affordable organic baby clothes: Kate Quinn
Best prints for newborns: Posh Peanut
Best preppy clothes for newborns: Gap Baby
Most popular brand for newborns: Carter’s
The most affordable of the budget-friendly brands: Garanimals by Walmart
Best affordable baby clothes for creating a capsule wardrobe: Old Navy Baby
Best affordable baby clothes with the most variety: Cat & Jack
Most comfortable baby booties: Zutano
Best organic baby booties: Goumi
Most fashionable baby booties: Freshly Picked
Best gender-neutral prints and colors: Primary
Best organic gender-neutral baby clothes: Pact
Most socially conscious baby clothes: Patagonia Baby and Kids Clothing
Preppiest winter baby clothes: L. L.Bean Toddler and Baby Clothing
Best winter puffers for babies: The North Face Kids
Most popular onesies and bodysuits
Burt’s Bees Onesies
Loved for their soft, organic cotton fabric and earthy designs, Burt’s Bees clothing can be found on their own website, as well as at Target and on Amazon.
The brand’s onesies are particularly popular and come in economical sets. Most onesies have a soft tag on the chest with the Burt’s Bees name, while others have cute designs for boys, girls, and unisex.
Hanna Andersson
The Hanna Andersson brand is best known for its matching sets of pajamas for the whole family. When it comes to baby clothes, they offer organic knit cotton bodysuits (short and long) and pajamas in all sorts of fun prints.
Most of their bodysuits and onesies come in plain and striped options. They fit close to the body but stretch to accommodate diapers, and often range from size 0 to 3 months (50 cm) to 3T (90 cm).
Best value onesies
Gerber Childrenswear
Fun fact: Gerber is the proud owner of the onesie trademark, which has been around for more than 30 years. As such, you can find many affordable options for onesies on their site.
For example, Gerber offers a range of sets (think: 3 packs all the way up to 15 packs!) of their onesies in girl, boy, and gender-neutral colors from birth to 5T. The larger sets are made up of various sizes to grow with your baby and definitely get high marks in terms of value.
Organic baby clothes with the best colors
L’ovedbaby
Beautifully muted colors are the hallmark of L’ovedbaby basics. Their clothing is made of 100-percent certified organic cotton that’s free from formaldehyde, heavy metals, and genetically modified organisms (GMO).
The brand even offers a particularly soft collection of organic cotton muslin clothing. Baby sizes range from newborn to 24 months. You can also find clothes for your toddlers, kids, or even yourself on the site.
Organic baby clothes with the cutest prints
Jazzy Organics
With clothing for babies 0 to 12 months and kids up to 4T, Jazzy Organics has a mission to provide certified organic cotton options to kids, all while supporting sustainable and safe farming practices.
They offer a slim but savvy assortment of rompers and bodysuits in cute prints, featuring animals and fruit shapes in the classiest way. Cuffs on the feet of the rompers can be folded when your baby is small and unfolded as they grow.
Most affordable organic baby clothes
Kate Quinn
Kate Quinn has an assortment of “organic and artisan” baby and kid clothes made in stretchy modal, bamboo, and organic terry fabrics. Not all their collections are certified organic by the Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS), but they’re clearly marked to eliminate confusion.
The brand explains that its soft and stretchy bamboo clothing, for example, is made from a sustainable, environmentally friendly semisynthetic fabric. It’s also worth noting that there’s often a sale happening online.
In 2018, the brand specifically pivoted from a wholesale business model to strictly sell directly to consumers online with the goal of making luxury baby clothes more affordable.
Best prints for newborns
Posh Peanut
Posh Peanut clothing is made from bamboo fiber, which is known for being lightweight, stretchy, and breathable.
Their knotted gowns are super soft and comfortable for snug all-day wear, and the prints are also adorable and particularly photogenic if you’re planning to do a newborn photo session. You can even buy coordinating outfits for mom if you so desire!
Best preppy clothes for newborns
Gap Baby
Gap offers newborn sizes in many of their styles that they label “up to 7 lbs.” Overall, the colorway is very pastel and calming. You’ll find a variety of soft fabrics and a good mix of at-home wear (footed sleepers, onesies) and more on-the-go options (dresses and overalls).
Keep your eyes peeled for sales and savings stacking events (where you get a percentage off in addition to a regular sale), especially when buying tiny clothes your baby won’t wear for long!
Most popular brand for newborns
Carter’s
Sizing is a strength of Carter’s infant clothing line. They actually have a dedicated Preemie Shop where you can find a multitude of clothing options for the smallest babies (they even have an “up to 5 lbs.” size).
Otherwise, Carter’s is known as a go-to for their quality clothing and frequent doorbusters, coupons, and stock-up sales. You’ll find lots of prints, sayings, and matching sets.
The most affordable of the budget-friendly brands
Garanimals
Walmart’s Garanimals brand has been around since 1972 with a mission to help parents “affordably, adorably, and easily dress their little ones.” Today, it offers quality plain basics, patterned pieces, and more, for low prices every day — no special sales necessary.
If you’re looking for a place to stock up on bodysuits or fun graphic tees, Walmart is a great spot to shop without breaking the bank.
Best affordable baby clothes for creating a capsule wardrobe
Old Navy Baby
Old Navy is known for its frequent (and deep) discounts on baby clothing. Their styles are fresh and incredibly on-trend. Many of their pieces coordinate, so you can create capsule wardrobes for whatever season you’re in.
While online shopping is a great way to go this year, you can also easily shop in-store and browse the clearance section for even more savings.
Best affordable baby clothes with the most variety
Cat & Jack
Target is a one-stop shop for basically everything baby, and clothing is no exception. The store’s Cat & Jack brand offers brightly colored options with quirky and fresh prints. You can find anything from basic onesies and leggings to more dressy outfits, swimsuits, jackets, and even accessories.
Bonus: The brand offers a 1-year guarantee against rips/tears/damage with returns accepted so long as you provide a receipt.
Most comfortable baby booties
Zutano
Zutano booties have long been a favorite among new parents. With fabric options — warm fleece, cooler cotton, and organic — these booties come in an array of colors and prints to match any outfit.
The bootie (in sizes 0 to 24 months) is constructed with two snaps to help them stay on, as well as to adjust to your baby’s feet and ankles. Plus, you can choose grips for older babies who are walking or no grips for younger ones who are just lounging around.
Best organic baby booties
Goumi
Goumi booties were featured on ABC’s Shark Tank as a shoe that won’t fall off your baby’s feet. Sizes range from preemie up to 12 months and offer two snaps that help them grow with your baby’s feet.
The color options are soft earth tones made from a fabric blend that’s 70-percent viscose from bamboo and 30-percent organic cotton. The brand also sets aside 10 percent of profits for human trafficking initiatives and donates mitts to preemie babies in the NICU.
Most fashionable baby booties
Freshly Picked
Moccasins are another popular option for babies that offer a soft footbed and comfortable wear. Freshly Picked’s überpopular moccasins come in many colors (including fun metallics!) and designs, including those with fringe and bows to boot.
Best gender-neutral colors and prints
Baby Clothes from Primary
Rather than focusing on blue or pink, dress your baby in the rainbow with all the bright colors and prints at Primary. This brand is great for affordable basics and offers onesies, bodysuits, rompers, T-shirts, pants, pajamas, and more.
The menu is divided into Baby (0-24 months) and Kids (2 to 12 years) because all clothing is appropriate for all babies.
Best organic gender-neutral baby clothes
Pact
Pact clothing is made of organic cotton and ethically produced in a fair trade factory. The fashions for babies include tops, bottoms, bodysuits, and sleepwear. You’ll be tempted to shop for mom too when you spot their cozy, casual comfortwear.
There are a few prints among the bunch, but overall you’ll find soft rainbow colors and simple silhouettes that suit all baby styles.
Most socially conscious
Patagonia Baby and Kids Clothing
While the price may be a bit on the higher end, Patagonia offers some technical outdoor winter clothing that will keep your baby toasty no matter the weather.
And if their cute colors and cozy materials aren’t convincing enough, Patagonia’s high quality gear is backed by an “ironclad guarantee” so you can return anything you’re not happy with for a repair, replacement, or refund.
Preppiest style winter baby clothes
L.L.Bean Toddler and Baby Clothing
Based in Maine, L.L.Bean knows a little something about winter weather. The brand offers an assortment of wet weather gear, snowsuits, and coats for babies and kids, as well as long johns and layering pieces for keeping warm and dry underneath.
They also have adorable, tiny hiking boots for toddlers and the smallest pair of snow bibs you’ve ever seen. Cuteness alert!
Best puffers
The North Face Kids
Yet another well-known winter gear giant, The North Face has wind jackets, fleece jackets, down buntings, and more cold weather wear for infants, toddlers, and kids.
While the options are mostly limited to outerwear, they also have a few baby accessories, like hats and socks. Consider buying in the off-season to get sale prices or choosing prints and colors that are gender-neutral for the most bang for your buck. We’re particularly fond of the brand’s itty-bitty winter puffer jackets.
So, there you have it. Lots of brands. Lots of options. Lots of things to get excited about when it comes to dressing your baby in the first year.
When in doubt, try to prioritize your baby’s comfort above anything else. Soft, stretchy outfits with easy on/off and access for quick diaper changes are always a winner. Beyond that, the rest is up to your preferences and your budget. Happy shopping!
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Brand Name: HAMEK
Gender: MEN
Collar: O-Neck
Closure Type: Pullover
Fit: Fits true to size, take your normal size
Material: Polyester,Spandex
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How to dress properly for cross-country skiing?
When choosing clothes for cross-country skiing, you always have to consider three important factors that accompany any training: cold, wind and how actively you train . These three factors will be present to varying degrees, always, in any weather: even when riding in spring porridge, in the April heat at the end of the season, even during the New Year holidays, in Scandinavia, with a serious “minus”. It is the right combination of clothes that will create the necessary level of comfort that guarantees pleasure. In addition, it should be noted that improperly selected clothes can lead to colds, which you don’t want to spend time on during holidays, vacations or the competition season. Any clothing associated with increased outdoor activity is selected using rule “layering” : from the bottom layer – thermal underwear – to the top, protecting from rain and wind.
In total, the range of clothing for active training or relaxed cross-country skiing is limited to the following items:
thermal underwear
racing, elastic overalls
warm-up trousers and jackets
padded trousers and jackets
light trousers and windbreakers
socks
gloves / mittens
Buff / bandana / fleece gaiter / balaclava
ski cap.
All these things are selected based on the tasks and level of the skier.
Let’s divide all the clothes into several conditional “layers”. Each of them has its own specific “tasks” and areas of application.
First (base) layer
The task of the first, base layer is to keep the body dry and warm, tightly fitting the skin of the skier, regardless of the activity of movement. This layer should completely absorb the sweat that is produced by the body. Special thermal underwear perfectly copes with all these tasks. “Special” because it implements those technological solutions that help skiers feel comfortable, especially while cross-country skiing. “First layer” is used by everyone and always – regardless of the weather: both professional skiers during the most serious competitions and amateur skiers who are just taking their first steps.
Thanks to the right combination of natural and synthetic threads, sweat is easily absorbed, the body does not freeze, thermal underwear does not accumulate an unpleasant odor. Thermal underwear that is properly selected for the training temperature, even if it becomes wet, will still warm you in cold weather. You can easily find out the comfortable temperature range for using thermal underwear using the information printed on the package. Thermal underwear, which uses special antibacterial impregnations, weaving threads in several layers, merino wool, differs significantly in functionality, and if you want a warm and durable thing, it makes sense to buy just such models.
Since this piece of clothing is in direct contact with the actively moving body, it is necessary that there is no risk of chafing in any place. This problem is solved by “flat” seams – in fact, the standard for thermal underwear.
In order to prevent cold air from penetrating even through small holes to a hot body, in many models of thermal underwear, elastic Lycra cuffs are sewn into the ends of the sleeves, often with holes for the thumbs.
High collar – to protect the throat from the wind. If possible, take models with a zipper on the collar – for quick adjustment of thermal insulation in case of warm weather.
In addition, cross-country ski thermal underwear is often fitted with special details made of elastic, thinner material or mesh. The roles that these inserts play: freedom of movement and greater heat dissipation, in those areas where excess heat and sweat is formed: in the armpits and on the sides of the body.
If you’re planning to ride in very warm weather, there are special thermal short-sleeved T-shirts and cropped trousers and even thermal boxer briefs.
Second layer
The task of the “second layer” is to remove the moisture that was in the first layer, to evaporate it. In addition, the second layer is responsible for creating a “cocoon” of warm air around the body, as well as for protecting the body from the penetrating cold wind.
The “second layer” is either an elastic ski suit (or a set of the same material “trousers + jacket”), tightly fitting the athlete’s body – for very active training or performances at competitions, or the so-called. “warm-up” set, which consists of a jacket and trousers. Elastic overalls or a set of “pants + jacket” are made of durable polyester and elastane threads. Important details in these models are the presence of a stand-up collar to protect the throat from the wind, lycra cuffs with thumbholes on the sleeves, additional inserts to protect the groin from cold and wind, mesh inserts in the armpit area for better ventilation and removal of excess heat. .
The “warm-up” set is used by professional athletes during light training, warm-ups before competitions, and by amateurs during non-stop skiing, at temperatures not lower than -10 C. The “warm-up” set consists of tight-fitting jackets and trousers with heat-insulating materials of different thickness, at different temperatures: from thick enough – for a serious “minus”, to very thin – for warm weather. The use of special wind protection in the form of membranes or reinforced inserts made of thicker material in such warm-up kits greatly adds comfort if you ride in windy weather.
Often in “warm-up” kits material soft shell is used. This is a material that, on the one hand, has excellent moisture-absorbing and moisture-wicking properties (the side that faces the body), and on the other hand, wind and moisture protection properties (the side that faces out). The warm-up suit always has pockets in which you can put the necessary little things: keys, phone or player. Very often, jackets are made with an elongated back, and trousers are made with a high waist and suspenders to protect the back and lower body from wind and cold. Most often, warm-up suits are sewn using an articulated cut, with inserts made of elastic materials – to ensure freedom of movement.
The cut of warm-up sets takes into account the features and differences in male and female figures.
Also, various vests can be attributed to the second layer, the task of which is additional protection from wind and cold. The vests are compact and can be folded up into a fanny pack or a small backpack and worn during stops or if you feel the temperature is colder than you planned. The design and insulation materials of ski vests are selected depending on the temperature of use: there are vests for very cold weather – with artificial insulation, the quality is close to goose down, there are thin vests – from one dense layer of elastic fabric with windproof properties.
Third layer
The third layer is clearly guided by the weather conditions: these are either significantly insulated ski jackets and trousers, or vice versa – very light windbreakers and exactly the same light trousers. The first option is used during leisurely skiing in very cold weather, mainly by amateurs. Athletes resort to it only during recovery training or during warm-up before starting in cold weather. Warm pants for athletes are often made in the form of self-shedding – with a zipper on the side so that they can be quickly removed just before entering the starting corridor. The second option is used only by amateurs and it is designed for very warm weather, when the thermometer is significantly above the plus mark.
Socks for cross-country skiing.
When choosing socks, keep in mind that your feet will be actively “wet” from sweat on the inside and from melting snow on the outside and actively move inside the boot. Those. it is necessary to choose socks with reinforcement in “problem” areas to avoid blisters, with excellent absorbent qualities and suitable for temperature.
Gloves / mittens.
They are selected depending on the temperature and activity of use: there are very thin ones – for warm weather, there are with insulation – for cold weather. There are models that use a windproof membrane. A distinctive feature of cross-country skiing gloves / mittens is the reinforcement with a layer of artificial leather on the palms where the ski pole rubs against the surface.
BUFF® / bandana / fleece gaiter / balaclava
Irreplaceable, beautiful and very comfortable accessories for skiers. We highly recommend buying the next set, from the parts of which you can assemble a comfortable option for any temperature and wind.
thick BUFF® with fleece
thin BUFF® in lycra only. When lowered, it complements fleece insulation, and when raised, on the head, under a ski cap, it protects the skier’s ears and neck from the wind.
thin bandana – for very warm weather.
fleece gaiter – additionally duplicates BUFF® and reliably protects the throat area from strong winds.
balaclava – for windy weather. It can be used to protect the neck and ears when, for example, you have a “warm-up” jacket without a hood.
Ski cap.
Amateurs most often do not bother with hats specially made for the specifics of use during ski training, and use ordinary ones – without any additional technology. If you are an athlete skier and you are concerned about the correct selection of even such trifles, then we recommend that you pay attention to special ski caps that have additional wind protection in the frontal part, thanks to special membrane inserts, an articulated cut that covers the ears and areas responsible for additional ventilation.
Wikisews | How to choose the size
Home>How to choose the size
I. SELECTING THE SIZE
The choice of the size of the pattern for shoulder product (dress, jacket, coat, etc.) is carried out according to the measurements of CHEST .
The choice of the size of the pattern for waist product (trousers, skirt, shorts, etc.) is carried out according to the measurement HIPS .
The interval between sizes is 4 cm.
If your measurement is 0.5-1.5 cm smaller than , then you choose a larger standard size.
For example: your bust is 83cm, choose size 36, which is 84cm.
If the measurement of is 0.5-1.5 cm larger than , then choose a smaller size.
For example: your chest circumference is 85.5 cm, you need to choose size 36 / OD 84.
If the bust measurements have a difference of +/- 2 cm, then it is recommended to choose a larger size for small items and a smaller size for loose items with increased allowances . Information on the increase in freedom of fit is in the general information on the model.
LADIES SIZE.
For female models with a separate size (European dimensions):
for female clothing models with unified sizes released from 2021 (European sizes):
Male 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 9000 * For patterns made before September 2021 (Euro sizes):
* For patterns made after September 2021 (Euro sizes): 94.8
For men: the choice of the size of the BELT product is carried out according to the measurement of OB, but taking into account the option of wearing a belt.
32
34
32
34
36
34
36
38
36
38
40
36
38
40
38
40
Ог
52
56
52
56
56
60
56
60
60
64
60
64
68
64
68
72
68
72
76
72
76
80
72
76
80
76
80
От
48
51
48
51
51
54
51
54
54
57
54
57
60
57
60
63
60
63
66
63
66
69
63
66
69
66
69
Об
58
61,5
58, 5
62
62,5
66
63
66,5
67
70
68
71
74
72
75
78
76
79
82
80
83
86
82
86
90
86
90
Оп
16,6
18
16,6
18
18
19. 4
18
19.4
19.4
20.8
20.2
21.4
22.6
21,4
90LAYA
23.8
22.6
23.8
25
34
36
34
36
38
36
38
40
36
38
40
38
40
Ог
52
56
52
56
56
60
56
60
60
64
60
64
68
64
68
72
68
72
76
72
76
80
72
76
80
76
80
От
48
51
48
51
51
54
51
54
54
57
54
57
60
57
60
63
60
63
66
63
66
69
66
69
72
69
72
Об
56,5
60
57
60,5
61
64 ,5
61,5
65
66
69
67
70
73
71
74
77
75
78
81
79
82
85
80
83
86
84
87
Оп
16
17,4
16
17,4
17,4
18,8
17. 4
18.8
18.8
20.2
18.8
20.2
21.6
20.2
21.6
23
21 6
23
24.4
23
24.4
25.8
If the growth falls between the ranges, for example 161, then the range 154-160 is selected. If 169, then it should be attributed to the group 170-176.
Also, to select growth, it is recommended to correlate the balance measures Dts1 and Dtp1 with the data in the table for choosing growth (given below).
DTS1 and DTP1:
-for women
1 Height (154-160) (European dimensions):
2 Height (162-168) (European dimensions):
3 height (170-176)(Euro):
4 height (178-184)(Euro):
4 height (178-184)(Euro):
– for men
III SELECTION OF THE TYPE OF THE FIGURE
Triangle or “pear”
Body type, in which the shoulders are more compact, the hips are more compact Often, for owners of this type of figure, the size of the waist group of products will be 1-2 more than the shoulder.
Accents in a costume ensemble should be placed from above. Shoulder items with voluminous sleeves with decorative details, ruffles and patch pockets with dropped shoulders will suit you. Use printed fabrics for tops, while solid colors work best for waistbands.
The less detail on the bottom, the better. At the same time, the styles of skirts can be both in shape and flared. In trousers, classic straight or slightly tapered models are best suited. Trousers with tucks in front will also be good, but always made of plastic, soft fabric that will flow down the hips and will not create extra volumes.
Fitted, fitted or semi-fitted silhouettes are the best choice for you.
Inverted Triangle
A body type in which the shoulders are dominant, while the hips, on the contrary, will be narrower and more compact. Often, for owners of this type of figure, the size of the shoulder group of products will be 1-2 more than the waist.
Accents in a costume ensemble are best placed at the bottom: skirts and trousers with prints and thick fabrics, decorative buttons, asymmetry, flounces, tucks, patch pockets.
Top with more discreet cuts with open shoulders. The dropped shoulder option is acceptable in elongated hoodies and sweatshirts: they will focus on the bottom, ending at the hips.
If the difference between shoulders and hips is large, then in figure-shaped skirts it is better to choose a length above the knee and use only dense fabrics with a pattern.
Being tall will give you a glimpse into Triangle and Hourglass models, but in the latter case, you may often need a decorative belt around the waist to create a more harmonious proportion.
Straight and semi-fitted/fitted silhouettes with voluminous/flared bottoms are the best choice for you.
A subtype of the “Triangle” figure, the so-called “Upper type of figure”, when the width of the hips and shoulders is approximately equal, but the size of the chest is large enough, which again entails a difference in the size of the top-bottom. In this case, it is better to avoid any details on the chest – pockets, wide lapels, draperies, as well as dense fabrics and printed fabrics.
Rectangle
A type of figure in which the shoulders are approximately equal to the hips, and the waist is very slightly pronounced.
The task in correcting this type of figure is to create the missing volumes above and below. Therefore, voluminous sleeves combined with flared skirts, dropped shoulders and patch pockets on skirts/trousers and prints both at the bottom and at the top are the right choice for you.
Straight and trapezoidal dress silhouettes are suitable, as well as semi-fitted models that can be tied with a belt, thus creating additional folds on the hips.
Puffy, flared skirts, asymmetrical models with unusual details will adorn the figure. For fitted skirts, choose a length above the knee and use thick, printed fabrics. And in the choice of trousers you have no restrictions!
Oval or “apple”
Body type in which the shoulders are approximately equal to the hips, and the stomach becomes an accent, wide zone. Often, the owners of this type of figure have beautiful sloping shoulders and slender legs. This allows you to emphasize the neckline, open the shoulders, as well as choose cropped lengths, an unusual cut in skirts and printed fabrics for trousers.
Straight, trapezoidal and high-waisted styles are most suitable.
Semi-fitted models are also possible, but for them it is better to choose a denser fabric that will support the abdomen.
If the model has a belt on the stomach, it is better to remove it or raise it higher: this will visually lengthen the legs and emphasize the décolleté line.
Wear thin turtlenecks or long sleeves with a second layer – a jacket, vest or dress.
A subspecies of the oval figure, the so-called “Circle” or “Apple” figure: in this type of figure, not only the abdominal area dominates, but also a fairly lush chest. In this case, straight models with a V-neck and high-waisted dresses and tops will be especially good.
Hourglass
Body type in which the shoulders are equal to the hips and the waist is pronounced. In the classic Hourglass version, the difference between the hips and waist will be at least 30 cm.
In a costume ensemble, the emphasis on the waist will be the most important, so fitted, semi-fitted and tight-fitting silhouettes are the best choice to emphasize the feminine curves given by nature.
A subspecies of the “Hourglass” figure – the so-called “Slender hourglass”. The difference between the waist and hips for this type of figure can be slightly less than 30 cm, and the clothing size, as a rule, does not exceed 44 for heights up to 170 cm and 46 for heights above 170 cm.
Owners of this type of figure can also consider for themselves straight styles of clothes from the selection for the “Rectangle” figure, since with such a physique, it is not necessary to emphasize the waist to create a harmonious proportion.
Teenage antics of Sedokova and eternal mini Uspenskaya. Psychologist about young stars
Lyubov Uspenskaya
The image of an eternal girl may seem attractive, because she is always playful, active and seems to need protection. But doesn’t such a presentation border on infantilism? About women who are trying to seem younger both externally and internally, let’s talk with the psychologist of “Tomboy” Lyubov Rosenberg.
In search of a father
The first husband of the singer Valentin Belkevich, according to Sedokova, constantly cheated on her
Anna Sedokova is known for sad love stories: the “redhead” from VIA Gra divorced her first husband six months after the birth of her daughter Alina, the same thing happened in alliance with Maxim Chernyavsky. True, Anna assured that Maxim was cheating on her, but the businessman accused the singer herself of betrayal. For years, fans have watched the public suffering of the artist, whose heiress Monica remained under the care of the pope in the United States.
By the time of the meeting with the basketball player Janis Timma, Anna was already rather disappointed in men. However, this did not stop her from corresponding, and then going on a date with an athlete who was married and raised a young son. Timma and Sedokova concluded that they were kindred spirits, so they scored on public censure and did everything to reunite.
It would seem that the 39-year-old mother of three children was supposed to provide her new husband with stability and peace when the story settled down, but the spouses live like on a volcano: violent quarrels, passionate reconciliations, the use of a safe word to stop the scandal.
Many envy Janis, who married the spectacular ex-soloist of VIA Gra
Last year, Anna admitted that she thought about divorce three times, and also that she threw tantrums at Janis and ran away from home in her socks. After this statement, the scandalous blogger Lena Miro predicted a quick break with Timma for the star, believing that the basketball player would hardly be able to endure an adult woman acting like a teenager for a long time.
It is important that Anna told how she grew up without a father: almost the first memory of her father is associated with his departure from the family. Sedokova screamed and blocked the door, and the man hit her on the arm and left. “It hurt my femininity very much, this little girl screwed up a lot afterwards. I was looking for a dad in each of my boyfriends, but I had to look for a man. Any element of the manifestation of care aroused in me great gratitude and a desire to give something to a person. But in fact, it was a basic concern, ”the singer admitted in the Together project.
do not missAnna Sedokova about quarrels with her husband: “We said goodbye, parted, tamed the devils in our heads”
How to explain the fact that by the age of 39 Sedokova still provokes her 30-year-old partner by running away from home in her socks? Is it childishness, an attempt to add spice to a relationship, or is it the consequences of childhood trauma associated with dad?
I don’t know Anna Sedokova personally, but I can hypothetically speculate about the infantilism of adults. The story about dad, told by Anna, certainly has a traumatic effect on the girl’s psyche. As a result, in adult life, all men must prove that they will not betray or abandon her, no matter how she behaves. As if there is a check “for weak”. Refusal to grow up, getting stuck in children’s behavioral reactions occurs unconsciously and is difficult to correct.
Anna broke up with three lovers almost immediately after the birth of the child, do not miss Anna Sedokova: “Not everything was smooth in the relationship between husband and son. They have come a long way.”
It is said that men quickly get tired of taking care of “eternal girls”, and this image is erotically contradictory, because it is strange to be sexually attracted to a person who has taken on the role of a daughter. Such couples also lack intellectual equality, since playing teenagers makes a woman try on the role of an ingénue. How long can this type of relationship last if all these points are really true?
Any relationship where two people feel good has a right to exist. If a man has a strong paternal position (and there are many of them), then it is an infantile woman in the role position of a child who will make a happy party. For a long time two infantile people will not be able to live together, or when an emotionally adult partner consciously refuses to be an all-forgiving daddy.
Love for youth clothes
At 68, Love can beat young colleagues
We’ve talked about behavior that is generally inappropriate for age, but what about appearance? Indeed, many stars deliberately choose a youth style of clothing, noting that they are “young at heart”, “feel like 18”, and so on.
68-year-old Lyubov Uspenskaya does not hide the fact that she did plastic surgery, wears revealing outfits, showing her slender legs to subscribers. She looks really younger than her years, but skeptics believe that by the age of 70 it would be worth at least a little change of course towards elegant femininity, and not tight mini.
do not miss the Well, let it be 70 soon! Uspenskaya and her love for sexy mini
Methods of artificial rejuvenation and deliberately sexy outfits in this case – is it most likely a reflection of some complexes, a younger psychological age, immaturity, or just a desire to stay longer in the ranks and linger on the musical Olympus?
Lyubov Uspenskaya has the right to look as she sees fit. This is a tribute to the profession – The stars should shine. In addition, it is a huge work and material investment in your appearance to show your exclusivity. If we consider this phenomenon from the point of view of age psychology, then this is the fear of growing old, which means the fear of death. Because it is old age, as a time of withering, that really brings closer the decline of a career, and senile diseases, and the loss of interest in other people more than ever. Thus begins a marathon of running from old age, where both tight-fitting clothes and artfully toned skin are like stages of the race won.
A recent photo shoot by Larisa Dolina made fans think of similar images of Madonna and J. Lo. The star retouches the shots so that not a single wrinkle remains. And they also say that the singer has a favorite 20 years younger.
don’t miss what a tigress this singer is! 66-year-old Larisa Dolina danced in sexy overalls
Irina Saltykova and her revealing outfits combined with over the knee boots, Cher, who wears ripped jeans and leather jackets, Donatella Versace, who disfigured herself with plastic and self-tanning – there are a lot of examples when stars try too hard to look younger. However, if we talk about Alla Pugacheva, then the reason for the evolution of her style into a more modern and bright one seems obvious: a young husband and small children.
For what psychological reasons do people usually go to extremes in pursuit of youth?
As psychological factors that aggravate such behavior, traumas received from the breakup of relationships, betrayal, and the collapse of a career can be considered. Nowhere to go and childhood trauma of abandonment and dislike. Reactions to stress can cause a dramatic change in behavior and positioning. In fact, this is an easy way to attract attention to yourself, to stay young as long as possible, albeit a little artificially.
Irina Saltykova always chose sexy outfits that emphasize her figure
Young at heart
When people behave and look younger than their years, the phrase often slips that “in their souls” they are 16/20/*any other number*. Does this apply to psychological age? Is it possible to accurately determine it, or is it just a myth for the “young people”?
It is probably possible to accurately determine the age of emotional maturity and maturity of a personality by some tests, analytical conclusions of sociologists, teachers and psychologists. But we are so individual that in some patterns and rules there are more exceptions than confirmations. And the more extreme the evolutionary process accelerates, the more differences between people we observe. Society is divided into individuals, institutional fragmentation according to various criteria becomes more diverse and individual characteristics acquire special value. The inner child lives in each of us, when and through what it manifests itself – each person decides for himself. For one, this is expressed in appearance, for another – in behavior and requirements for loved ones, for the third – there is complete harmony with their childhood and permission to grow up without fear. The most acceptable for me is to allow myself to accept age-related changes and change my wardrobe to a more restrained one, but not to lose my fresh outlook on life, interest in everything new. To find beauty at one’s age, not to grow old in soul, developing internally, enriching and saturating the soul with kindness and acceptance, and the mind with new knowledge and achievements.
Cher wears jeans and shiny tops and after 70 don’t miss Viktor Saltykov: “Women like my first wife should be isolated from society” some psychological norms and behaves unreasonably? Perhaps he is just happy in this, and not injured and not trying to prove something to someone?
You should always stay young at heart. But this is not so much and not only the appearance, it is the liveliness of the mind, interest in the new, incessant development, both physical and emotional. You can be slim and emphasize your figure with knee-length skirts and neat pumps, and a well-groomed face with makeup with bright lips, a hairstyle and elegant accessories. Appearance within the requirements of etiquette must correspond to the place and time, that’s all! However, I think each of you met women on the streets with bright make-up over wrinkles, in sparkles, minis, huge heels and ridiculous hairstyles. They are usually classified as urban lunatics. These are indeed signs of mental disorders, perhaps one of the manifestations of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), perhaps some more serious mental illness. But this category cannot include public people, especially pop stars, whose image depends on the repertoire, on the requirements of the public, and on their own ambitions. They have their own dress code, stage image. We will not see them in this form in the subway or in the store. And Lyubov Uspenskaya, and Larisa Dolina, and Nadezhda Babkina honestly earned their right to be as they are. To please the public, to serve as an example for other women in self-care, in the restrictions that they impose on themselves in order to look like that. We just have to look at them, listen to their songs and have fun!
Photo: Legion-Media, personal archive, social networks
Japanese women are easy to distinguish. They all have short and crooked legs. Korean women have short but not crooked legs.
They say that, for example, for the Chinese or the Japanese, we, the Slavs, all look the same. I really can’t believe it, and it seems to me that this is a kind of trolling against what we all the time say about Asians. Yes, they certainly do not look like the same person, but under certain circumstances and conditions it is really difficult to distinguish them. So right?
I offer you this life hack, how to find out who is in front of us without practice: Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Thai or Vietnamese.
Korean
Korean women most often have a flat face and high square cheekbones. Their nose is usually wide, and they diligently correct it with the help of various devices or rhinoplasty. It is quite difficult to describe the typical appearance of Korean women these days, due to the numerous plastic surgeries that are done here everywhere. Women are literally obsessed with their beauty and the desire to achieve perfection. According to statistics, 80% of Korean women and Koreans have undergone various plastic surgeries, and some parents consider this a good gift for coming of age.
So, if you see an Asian woman with an exaggerated doll-like appearance, most likely you are looking at a South Korean woman. Korean women pay great attention to their skin. If she has a bad look or acne, this is a sign of bad taste, and by the way, tattoos are not at all welcome here. The girl’s hair here is long, of any color, but not black.
Chinese women
The faces of Chinese women are broad, bony, and their noses are often flattened. The inhabitants of the Middle Kingdom have swarthy skin, sometimes with a yellowish tint. Women here, in general, do not really like to take care of themselves, and in broad daylight you can meet a lady in homemade or dirty clothes. And in general, Chinese women dress in all sorts of things, usually with an abundance of sequins and very brightly. But they experiment a lot with the color of their hair, dyeing it in absolutely incredible colors.
The same goes for makeup. And also Chinese women, with the help of special stickers, make themselves a “European” eyelid. Chinese women are usually small in stature and have a slim build. But lately, there has also been a trend towards fullness. Residents of China speak very emotionally and unrestrainedly, actively helping themselves with gestures. They are very impulsive, and during a conversation they can turn to screaming.
Japanese
Residents of the Land of the Rising Sun usually have a more fragile physique and higher growth, compared to other Asian peoples. At the same time, they have a fairly large head and an elongated oval face. The eyes of Japanese women are wider open, and sometimes they are even bulging. A protruding nose is their characteristic feature, it is not flattened. Japanese women have lighter skin, but this does not prevent them from making it even whiter with the help of all sorts of bleaching agents. They are generally very sensitive to their appearance, and devote a lot of time to caring for themselves. The Japanese are obsessed with cleanliness, and in a public place it is difficult to meet an untidy person with dirty hair or clothes. Most Japanese women have a restrained and refined make-up, and they prefer clothes from expensive brands.
Young people, of course, they are also young people in Japan. Teenagers dress catchy and unusual, copying anime characters. And no one knows where, but local girls have a fashion when walking to put their feet inward, which makes the gait clubfoot. And this is considered touching for some reason!
Japanese women speak quietly, clearly and calmly, often inserting symbolic bows into their speech. It is generally not customary to make noise in public places here. The Japanese language sounds very monotonous, there is almost no intonation in it.
This is Japan’s current youth fashion – Japan’s youth fashion
Flip flops
They are considered the most beautiful women in Asia, they are even compared with Korean women, but without plastic surgery. Despite their slenderness, they often have feminine forms. To protect their skin from the sun, the Vietnamese go to drastic measures. If you saw a girl wrapped in heat from head to toe, this is Vietnamese. They even have special sun jackets that come with face masks. This garment has a hood, and very long sleeves that completely hide the arms. Masks are worn not only by women, but also by men, they believe that it protects their respiratory tract from dirty air.
Some Vietnamese women’s favorite clothes are pajamas. They wear them everywhere, even to work. In large cities, girls dress up every day, as if they were going to a party or a nightclub. Tight dresses, short shorts, bright makeup, and high heels are the everyday clothes of most Vietnamese beauties.
Thai
Residents of Thailand are not fond of plastic surgery, but ladyboys just do them en masse. Thais are usually small and diminutive, and most often have an almost masculine build. They correct this shortcoming with the help of underwear, which has enlarging tabs, not only on the chest, but also on the buttocks.
Teething in Babies – Pediatric Dentist in Frisco, TX
Teething in babies is a process that can start as early as 3 months or as late as 14 months with signs and symptoms that can begin 2-3 months before the appearance of the first tooth. The average age for that first tooth is about 6 months, but parents should not worry if their baby experiences teething differently than a previous child or a friend’s baby. Teething in babies depends on different factors, including heredity (when mom or dad began teething) and if your child was born early (preemies typically teeth late).
No matter when teething begins, the teeth typically erupt in pairs and often in a particular order, although if they do appear out of sequence, there is generally no cause for concern.
A general timeline for tooth eruption is:
6-10 months: Lower central incisors (2 bottom front teeth)
8-12 months: Upper central incisors (2 top front teeth)
9-13 months: Upper lateral incisors (on either side of the upper central incisors)
10-16 months: Lower lateral incisors (on either side of the lower central incisors)
13-19 months: First molars
16-23 months: Upper and lower canine teeth (next to the lateral incisors)
2 years: Second molars (behind the first molars)
Symptoms of Teething in Babies
The teething process is different for each individual baby, but most babies exhibit at least some of these common teething symptoms:
Excessive drooling: Babies tend to produce extra saliva when teething, so be sure to have bibs handy.
Facial rash: Excessive drooling can cause chafing and redness around the mouth and chin. Gently pat the area dry with a bib or soft cloth or use Vaseline or Aquaphor to protect the skin.
Biting: Babies bite on just about anything to relieve the pressure created by newly erupting teeth. Counterpressure created by gnawing on something alleviates this discomfort.
Pulling or rubbing the ears: Teething pain in the jaw often transfers to the ear canal due to the shared nerve pathways.
Irritability, general fussiness, or crying: Just like adults, babies get fussy when they are uncomfortable. The gums often become inflamed as the tooth passes through, especially when the larger molars are coming in. Many babies seem to become accustomed to teething discomfort over time, while some tend to be acutely aware of teething pain throughout the entire process.
Nighttime wakefulness: Tooth eruption does not stop at the end of the day and, for some children, even seems to be more prominent during nighttime hours. Teething is often the cause of lost sleep for both the child and the parents. Try letting your child settle down on his/her own, or if necessary, soothe your child back to sleep rather than create a habit of nighttime feedings that will be hard to break after teething is complete.
Change in eating habits: Some babies refuse to eat because the sucking motion from nursing/bottles or the spoon on their gums creates more discomfort. Others may want to eat more because the bottle or spoon creates counterpressure and gives relief. Be patient and try multiple methods of feeding if necessary.
Increased coughing or gag reflex: The excessive amount of drooling during teething can cause gagging or coughing. As long as your baby is not showing other signs of sickness, you need not be concerned.
Swollen, red, or puffy gums: Your baby’s gums may appear red and swollen just prior to a tooth erupting. In some instances, especially involving molars, a bluish cyst may present that breaks when the molar pushes through. Some bleeding may occur but is not harmful to your baby.
Low-grade fever: Doctors are still divided on whether babies can experience fever due to teething, however, if your child does run a low-grade fever while teething, keep a watchful eye out for other symptoms. A fever over 101° or for longer than 3 days is best evaluated by your pediatrician.
Teething Remedies for Babies
If you have a teething baby, you have probably received solicited and unsolicited advice on how to alleviate teething discomfort. Some methods are tried-and-true, while others can actually be harmful to a baby. If you are unsure about using a particular method for teething relief, ask your doctor.
Safe teething remedies for babies include:
Counterpressure/massage: Teething toys or even your finger can create friction, soothe teething pain, and help break down gum tissue. Be sure not to give your baby anything too hard that could damage incoming teeth.
Chilled (not frozen) washcloth: The cold temperature helps numb the gums and the thick fabric creates counterpressure which feels good.
Cold food or drinks: Chilled applesauce, yogurt, or even cold water in a bottle can relieve aching gums. Be sure to supervise your child while eating and do not give large chunks of cold food that can create a choking hazard. Your doctor can advise you on age-appropriate foods that you can use.
Distraction: Teething is generally a dull, aching pain, and distracting your baby with a special toy or activity can often take his/her mind off of being uncomfortable.
Extra comfort: Sometimes the hugs and snuggles from mom or dad are just what the doctor ordered. Extra one-on-one time can sometimes be the best remedy for a fussy teething baby.
Over-the-counter pain relievers: If other methods are unsuccessful, over-the-counter pain medicines usually provide temporary relief for teething. Be sure to consult your doctor if you are unsure of the recommended dose.
Remember, every baby is different, so you may have to try a few methods before you find one that works best for relieving your child’s teething symptoms.
What to Avoid When Your Child is Teething
Some teething remedies found on the internet and other sources, while effective at alleviating teething pain, can actually be dangerous.
DO NOT:
Rub any type of alcohol on your child’s gums: Rubbing alcohol or tiny amounts of liquors, such as brandy, can be poisonous to babies.
Give your child extremely hard food (such as toasted bagels or zwieback crackers) or frozen foods (such as bananas or carrots): These can soften and become choking hazards.
Use amber teething necklaces: Placing anything around a baby’s neck is dangerous and the beads can be a choking hazard if they are pulled off.
Caring for Your Baby’s New Teeth
As your baby’s teeth begin to emerge, it is important to start good oral hygiene right away. It is a good idea to schedule an appointment with your pediatric dentist at the first sign of tooth eruption or by age 1, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
Other tips for taking care of your baby’s new teeth include:
Use tap water (most contain fluoride) to brush your child’s teeth: Your dentist will advise you on using fluoride toothpaste.
Do not let your child go to bed with a bottle or sippy cup containing milk, juice, or other sugar-containing drinks: This practice is a main cause of early childhood caries (baby bottle tooth decay).
Gently brush teeth twice a day with a baby tooth brush
Give your baby water (once he/she is able to have it) after meals to help wash away residual food
Remember that your baby’s primary teeth, while not permanent, are important to keep healthy. They serve a vital role in your child’s long term dental health. Learn about permanent tooth eruption in children.
At Discovery Kids Pediatric Dentistry, our top priority is helping your child achieve and maintain a cavity-free, healthy smile for life.
If your child’s teeth are emerging and you would like to schedule your baby’s first dental check-up, please contact Dr. Zarmin Lalani and her team at Discovery Kids Pediatric Dentistry Frisco, Texas, by completing an online appointment request or phone 469-365-5437.
8 Baby Teething Comfort Tips Every Parent Needs to Know
Your newborn baby is born with 20 teeth under the gum line. Before you know it, your happy baby starts to become fussy with a tendency to drool on a consistent basis. The first tooth usually appears between 6 months and 1 year of age.
When your infant starts teething, it can be a very challenging time. However, there are number of baby teething tips to help soothe your child!
Signs Your Baby is Teething
If your baby is around 6 months (timing does vary), you may start noticing these symptoms of teething:
Sore or tender gums
Drooling
Irritability
Low-grade fever around 99 F
Chewing
Diarrhea
Drool rash around the mouth
Teething does not cause fevers and diarrhea. If your baby has a temperature above 100.4 F and has diarrhea, you should definitely speak to your doctor.
Typically, the first tooth to appear is one of the incisors on the bottom. It is a good idea to inspect your child’s gums for any bumps, a sign of newly surfacing teeth. Teething may be slower for some babies than others, so infants can have symptoms months before a tooth actually appears.
There are several ways to soothe gums. The most effective treatments include pressure, using cold items, and giving your baby something safe to chew. It’s really tough to see your baby start teething and experiencing constant pain, so try these methods to help ease the discomfort.
1. Massage the Gums
Applying pressure to your infant’s gums may help ease the pain. After thoroughly cleaning your hands, lay your baby on the bed and massage their gums gently with your finger. This may actually help your baby relax and fall asleep. You can try rubbing the gums again if your baby awakes in the middle of the night.
2. Get a Cold Washcloth
It is a good idea to find a clean washcloth and soak it in water. You should wring out the water until it is damp. Then place the washcloth in the fridge or freezer to cool it down.
After it is nice and cool, fold the washcloth and give to your baby to chew. You should never leave your baby unattended if they are chewing on something, even a washcloth, because this could be a choking hazard.
3. Refrigerate Pacifier or Teething Toy
If your baby uses a pacifier, you can also use it to soothe their gums by cooling it down. You should make sure the pacifier is clean and place it in the refrigerator. The coolness may help numb the gums and relieve some pain.
You can follow the same steps with teething toys. You can place any solid teething toys in the fridge. It is a good idea to stay away from liquid or gel-filled toys, which could possibly leak.
4. Freeze Milk Popsicles
Some babies will not eat while they are teething. This is most likely because of the discomfort.
If possible, you should find BPA-free popsicle forms and fill them with breastmilk or formula. These types of popsicles can become very messy when they melt, so be sure to place a bib on your baby. You might find it smart to have your infant eat these in the highchair.
5. Wipe Away Excess Drool
It is helpful to have your baby wear a bib while they teethe. Babies have a tendency to drool and soak their clothing.
You should make it a priority to wipe away drool from your baby’s face to help prevent further irritation. Ideally, your child’s face should stay dry to prevent a rash.
6. Chill Some Fruit
If you have introduced your baby to solid foods, you could try freezing some types of foods to help soothe irritated gums. Chilled mashed bananas are a great start! You can try other fruits in a mesh feeder for your baby to suck on. The mesh feeder will help prevent choking. Some different types of fruit you could try include chilled apples, pears, or strawberries. It is a good idea to monitor your baby at all times and make sure your infant is old enough to try these treats.
7. Extra Cuddling Time
Sometimes the best way to help a baby in discomfort is some extra cuddle time. Rocking your baby in a big chair or carrying your baby around the house (in a baby carrier) are great ideas. The extra cuddle time will help provide both of you with some needed rest.
If you breastfeed, don’t be afraid to give your baby additional nursing sessions for comfort. It is important to provide your infant with a calm environment to help them relax and fall asleep.
8. Pain Medications
As a last resort, you can talk to your doctor about providing over-the-counter pain medication. These medicines help alleviate pain and allow the baby to go to sleep. Your pediatrician can advise you on the correct dosage and which type of pain relievers work best.
It is a good idea to stay away from teething gels and tablets that contain lidocaine or benzocaine. They can be harmful and often numb a baby’s mouth, causing issues with swallowing.
How Long Does Baby Teething Last?
There is no set timetable on how long your baby will go through teething. This process could last months or be over in a couple of days. Each infant handles the pain differently. The pain typically subsides once the tooth has emerged through the gums. There is usually a break between teeth, although the time frame can vary.
Caring for Your Baby’s New Teeth
You should start caring for your baby’s tooth as soon as it appears through the gums. It is important to wipe off the tooth before bed. You can use a damp, clean washcloth or a soft-bristled baby toothbrush.
You should not use fluoride toothpaste until your child is at least 3 years old and can spit out the toothpaste. However, you can use a small amount of training toothpaste to clean the new tooth.
Good hygiene starts early. Even though your baby will ultimately lose these teeth, you want the baby teeth and gums to remain healthy in preparation for the new adult teeth.
Schedule Regular Dental Checkups
Baby teething is no fun for the baby or the parent. Now you have valuable suggestions on how to help your baby deal with the irritation.
Once that first tooth appears, the American Dental Association recommends scheduling your child’s first dental visit. Regular dental visits set the foundation for your child to have healthy gums and teeth. Contact our office with any questions or to schedule your child’s first appointment today!
Reflux | Pregnancy Birth and Baby
Reflux | Pregnancy Birth and Baby
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Reflux is when your child brings the contents of their stomach back up into their food pipe or mouth. They may bring up small amounts of milk along with air when they are burped. Reflux, also called spitting up, posseting or regurgitation, is very common in newborns.
The medical term for reflux is gastro-oesophageal reflux, or GOR. If GOR is more serious or has complications it may lead to gastro-oesophageal reflux disease or GORD.
Reflux occurs because a muscle at the top of the stomach, called the sphincter, is loose. It can also be caused by air bubbles in the stomach or by eating too much food too quickly.
Spitting up may not cause discomfort and your baby may seem not notice.
Reflux is not the same as vomiting. Vomiting is forceful, is usually more than a tablespoon or 2, and upsets the baby. Vomiting can be a sign of illness.
Reflux is not the same as drooling and blowing bubbles, which is especially common once babies start teething.
Spitting up often peaks by 4 months of age and by 7 months many babies no longer do it, although for some it takes longer.
Tips for managing reflux
Here are some things you can do to minimise your baby’s reflux:
Make each feed calm and relaxed.
Hold your baby in an upright position, not lying down, while you feed them. Keep your baby upright for 30 minutes after feeding. An infant seat or car seat works well.
Feed your baby smaller amounts at a time.
Feed your baby without delay. If the baby has cried for a long time before a feed, they may have swallowed air. Spitting up is more likely if the baby has air in the stomach at the beginning of a feed.
Check the size of the opening in the teat if you are bottle feeding. The bottle should leak several drops of milk per second. A hole that is too big will let the baby swallow formula too quickly and baby is likely to spit up the excess. A hole that is too small forces the baby to suck very hard and swallow air.
Burp your baby several times during each feed. It works best to support the infant’s head and burp them sitting on your lap. Burping your baby over your shoulder may put too much pressure on their stomach.
If you are supervising your baby, you can place them on their tummy for an hour or so after the feed. Take care not to let baby sleep on their tummy because of the link with sudden unexpected death in infancy. Always place your baby on their back to sleep.
Make sure nappies are not too tight and do not put pressure on the baby’s stomach.
When to see the doctor about reflux
If your baby is otherwise healthy and happy and they are just bringing up milk, nothing needs to be done. Talk to your doctor or child health nurse if:
you have any other concerns
your baby is not gaining weight
there is a change in bowel movements or urination
your baby shows signs of discomfort or pain.
Reflux and lactose intolerance – video
Video provided by Raising Children Network.
Sources:
Raising Children Network (Gastro-oesophageal reflux and GORD),
Reflux Infant Support Association (Management tips – reflux),
Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network (Reflux)
Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.
Last reviewed: January 2021
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Related pages
Vomiting in children
Vomiting in babies
Need more information?
Gastro-oesophageal reflux & GORD: babies | Raising Children Network
Gastro-oesophageal reflux is when your child brings stomach contents back up into his foodpipe or mouth. GORD is when reflux leads to complications.
Read more on raisingchildren.net.au website
What is Reflux? – Reflux Infants Support Association Inc
What is Gastro-Oesophageal Reflux? ‘Reflux’ means to flow back; ‘gastro’ relates to the stomach;‘oesophageal’ relates to the oesophagus (food pipe).
Read more on Reflux Infants Support Association website
Kids reflux – the facts and the stats – Reflux Infants Support Association Inc
Presents a selection of interesting facts and statistics about paediatric reflux
Read more on Reflux Infants Support Association website
Reflux | Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network
What is reflux? Gastro-oesophageal reflux (GOR) happens when stomach contents are brought back up into the oesophagus (the food pipe leading from the mouth to the stomach)
Read more on Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network website
What is Silent Reflux? – Reflux Infants Support Association Inc
Caring for a baby or child who suffers from gastro-oesophageal reflux can be extremely stressful and you may find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster ride. You may not realise your experience and emotions can be perfectly normal for your situation but this is where the Reflux Infants Support Association (RISA) Inc can help.
Read more on Reflux Infants Support Association website
How Reflux presents – Reflux Infants Support Association Inc
Caring for a baby or child who suffers from gastro-oesophageal reflux can be extremely stressful and you may find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster ride. You may not realise your experience and emotions can be perfectly normal for your situation but this is where the Reflux Infants Support Association (RISA) Inc can help.
Read more on Reflux Infants Support Association website
Reflux Reality: A Guide for Families – Reflux Infants Support Association Inc
Caring for a baby or child who suffers from gastro-oesophageal reflux can be extremely stressful and you may find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster ride. You may not realise your experience and emotions can be perfectly normal for your situation but this is where the Reflux Infants Support Association (RISA) Inc can help.
Read more on Reflux Infants Support Association website
Baby food reactions, allergies and reflux | Raising Children Network
Most babies spit up some breastmilk or formula. This is often called reflux. Sometimes this can be a sign of food reactions or food allergies or intolerance.
Read more on raisingchildren.net.au website
My Baby Has Reflux | Red Nose Australia
Read more on Red Nose website
Reflux: Sleeping Position for Babies with Gastro-Oesophageal Reflux (GOR) | Red Nose Australia
Read more on Red Nose website
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How Do I Know If My Baby Is Teething
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As a new parent, you’re probably wondering, “when do babies start getting their teeth?” Well, it’s a great question to ask, and it’s always best to be prepared for the moment when your baby starts teething. Learn what teething is, the signs and symptoms to look out for, how to treat it, and the best way to care for your baby’s teeth when they come in.
What is Teething, and When Does it Start?
Teething is when teeth first come through a baby’s gums. It’s a big deal for the baby and the parents. The American Dental Association provides a great tooth eruption chart for reference. If your little one has teeth coming in early, that’s okay. What’s important is that your child visits the dentist within six months following the eruption of their first tooth.
Here’s a general timeline of what happens with baby teeth:
Before birth: Baby grows 20 teeth under the gums
Around six months: Baby starts teething
Within the first year: The first teeth start growing; they’re typically the two bottom front teeth, also known as the central incisors. Next, come the top four teeth, called the central and lateral incisors.
13-14 months: Upper and lower first molars come in
16-17 months: Upper and lower canines come in
23-25 months: Upper and lower second molars come in
By age 3: Our child will likely have their 20 baby teeth
Signs of Teething
Symptoms of teething vary from child to child. So, how can you tell if your baby is teething? Some babies feel no pain, while others may have pain and tenderness that lasts for several weeks. A baby may show one or more of the following signs if they’re teething:
Rubbing their gums. Babies generally love to put things in their mouths but rubbing things on their gums may become excessive when the teething process begins.
Drooling. Some babies drool so much from teething that it soaks their clothes. They may even develop a rash on their cheeks and chin from the excess moisture. To keep your baby comfortable, gently dry their chin and change wet clothes throughout the day.
Crankiness. If your baby seems cranky, a tooth may be pushing through despite otherwise being healthy.
Wakefulness. If your once great sleeper has begun waking up at night or is refusing to take naps, it may be a sign of teething.
Loss of Appetite.If your baby is on a nursing/eating strike, it may be a teething symptom as eating can irritate sore gums. If you’re concerned that your baby isn’t eating enough, check in with your pediatrician.
If you observe two or more of these signs, your baby is likely teething. While teething might cause a slight rise in your child’s temperature, fever is not one of the typical symptoms of teething. Neither is diarrhea. You should contact your on-call pediatrician if your child develops a fever or diarrhea because it could be a sign of something else.
How To Treat Teething
The good news is that there are many options for treating teething. Over-the-counter pain-relief medicines, including ibuprofen or acetaminophen, may help to dull the pain. Check in with your pediatrician before giving your baby pain medication. They’ll guide you with specific recommendations and dosage information.
There are also several ways to soothe your teething baby, including refrigerating your baby’s teething ring or using a clean finger to apply pressure on the gums. A warm bath and gentle rocking may also help to calm and relax the child.
It’s important to note that numbing compounds containing topical benzocaine (similar to the gel used by dental professionals) are available. However, The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has warned parents about the adverse, grave effects of using benzocaine for children under two years of age. So, it’s essential to utilize other options. As always, you should check with your child’s dentist or physician before using any product for teething relief.
Caring for Your Baby’s New Teeth
Dentists recommend using a clean washcloth to gently clean your baby’s mouth, even before the first tooth arrives. Toothpaste is not as necessary in these early stages as removing bacteria. Follow these tips when taking care of your baby’s teeth:
Brush with an infant toothbrush using water.
When your baby’s teeth touch, you can start flossing.
Around 2, gradually introduce fluoride toothpaste to your child’s brushing routine. You can also start teaching your child to spit while brushing.
At your baby’s first dentist appointment, your dentist will guide you through the steps in caring for your baby’s teeth and gums in more detail. Also, it’s always good to ask them about fluoride.
Now you know about babies teething and the crucial signs to look out for like gum rubbing, crankiness, and sleep or appetite changes. These signs may mean other things, but the combination of two or more of these symptoms more than likely indicates a tooth is erupting. Remember that fever and diarrhea are not actual symptoms related to teething. And be sure to reach out to your pediatrician if your baby is experiencing either. There are plenty of ways to soothe your baby if they’re teething, like refrigerating their teething ring or over-the-counter pain-relief medicines like ibuprofen. So, if your baby is teething, you’re now set and ready to make them feel most comfortable.
This article is intended to promote understanding of and knowledge about general oral health topics. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your dentist or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment.
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Drooling is common in young children, especially while their teeth are coming in. It is usually nothing to worry about. However, excessive saliva can sometimes irritate a baby’s skin and cause drool rash.
Drool rash can be uncomfortable for a baby, but parents and caregivers can help them get relief with some simple home remedies.
In this article, we look at what drool rash is, as well as how to treat and prevent it. We also cover when to see a doctor.
Share on PinterestA baby may drool more than usual when teething. Image credit: Dermnet New Zealand
Drooling, also known as sialorrhea, is common in healthy infants. It often stops when they are around 15 to 18 months old.
Excessive saliva around the baby’s mouth, cheeks, chin, and beyond can irritate the skin and cause drool rash.
Drool rash is not contagious and is not linked to any underlying medical conditions. However, it can result in red, itchy, bumpy patches on the skin, which babies may find painful and uncomfortable. These patches may be moist or dry.
Drooling is a natural process and may also be a side effect of teething, which is when a baby’s teeth start to break through their gums. Drooling may begin long before the teeth come in and persist long after, however.
Besides teething, babies may also naturally drool due to their:
limited ability to swallow
lack of front teeth
tendency to keep their mouth open
Parents and caregivers can take simple measures to reduce the impact of drool rash. The best way to treat drool rash is to keep the baby’s skin dry throughout the day and prevent new rashes from developing.
Simple measures that can help manage drool rash include:
Always keeping clean cloths or baby wipes handy and wiping the child’s face dry as soon as any drool appears. If baby wipes seem to worsen the irritation, try plain water or a soft dry cloth.
If teething seems to be causing the baby to drool, try giving them a teething toy or something cold to chew on, such as a teething ring from the refrigerator.
Applying an emollient, barrier cream, or ointment to the affected area to help protect and heal the baby’s skin. However, it is best to consult a doctor before using any new products, especially near the baby’s mouth.
Avoiding using irritating substances on or around the baby, such as harsh laundry detergents, soaps, and scented lotions. Try replacing these products with mild, fragrance-free alternatives.
Always cleaning and sterilizing the baby’s bottles and pacifiers to ensure that these are not the cause of the rash. Parents and caregivers should replace or limit the use of any objects that appear to cause or worsen the rash.
Gently washing the rash with tepid water and patting it dry afterward.
A variety of teething toys are available to purchase online.
Share on PinterestGently cleaning the baby’s face may prevent a drool rash.
Drool rash can be difficult to prevent, particularly as many infants and toddlers drool naturally. However, there are some things a person can do to help prevent or minimize drool rash, including:
Gently wiping the baby’s face with a cloth to remove any drool and prevent rashes from developing. It is best to use soft, non-irritating cloths.
Cleaning the baby’s face after feedings by gently patting their skin with a damp cloth. Use water, not soap, to wet the cloth and avoid vigorous or harsh rubbing, as it may irritate the baby’s skin.
Putting a waterproof or absorbent bib on the baby to prevent saliva from getting on their chin, chest, and clothing.
Changing the baby’s clothing whenever it becomes wet from the saliva.
Drooling is natural in babies and young children. While drool rash may be uncomfortable, it is not usually a cause for concern. However, a person should speak to a doctor if the baby:
is unusually irritable or fussy
has a fever
has difficulty breathing or swallowing
refuses to eat or is eating less
holds their head in a strange position
It is also best to seek medical advice if the rash is severe, getting worse, or seems unusually itchy or painful.
It is normal for infants to drool, often starting when they are around 3–6 months old. However, salvia that remains in contact with the skin can cause irritation and lead to a rash.
Babies may find drool rash upsetting and uncomfortable, but it is usually harmless. Caregivers can treat and help prevent drool rash with simple home measures, such as regularly wiping up any drool and keeping the baby’s skin dry.
It is best to see a doctor if the rash looks severe or occurs alongside other symptoms.
Teething rash: how to help your baby | Baby & toddler articles & support
You might see your baby’s cheeks and chin go red during teething. Here we explain what to look out for, what’s harmless and when to worry.
There is a rash associated with teething – all that excess drool irritates their skin (Lyttle et al, 2015). And while this in itself might cause your baby some mild discomfort, it isn’t anything to worry about.
Yet contrary to popular belief, teething hasn’t been proven to cause flushed, feverish cheeks in babies (Markman, 2009). This might surprise some of you.
The fact is, they’re more susceptible to a wide range of illnesses and infections at this age (Lyttle et al, 2015). So it’s particularly important to see your doctor, particularly if they have a raised temperature as well (Markman, 2009; NICE, 2014; Lyttle et al, 2015).
So what does all this mean?
1. You can soothe genuine teething rash
This is because your baby’s dribble is what’s causing their teething rash (Lyttle et al, 2015). And that can be easily mopped up. By the bucket load it sometimes seems.
Try gently wiping their face and chin to help stop them getting a rash, and even cracks on the sides of their mouth (Lyttle et al, 2015). Be careful not to over-wipe or rub your baby’s face, tempting as it is, because this can make the area even more sore (Family Lives, 2018).
“Put a bib on them to catch the drool, it also doubles as a handy cloth for wiping your baby’s face.”
You could also rub some petroleum jelly on the area before you go outside to protect it from the elements, and before bed (Family Lives, 2018).
Did you know? All that dribble pouring from their mouth during teething has antibacterial properties when it mixes with breastmilk? This boosts your baby’s immune system (Al-Shehri, 2015). Clever huh? Read our article on how to breastfeed babies who have teeth.
2. If it’s not irritated skin, it’s important to get to the cause of their flushed cheeks
This is because there could be a more serious illness at play. This is UNLIKELY TO BE just a teething rash.
One study closely monitored the temperature of babies in the days before, during and after they had a tooth appear. It found no rise in their temperatures, which shows that teething doesn’t necessarily cause a fever (Wake et al, 2000). Other sources say only a very mild rise in temperature (under 38°C) might be teething, but your baby shouldn’t be unwell because of it (NICE, 2014; Harding et al, 2016).
So, if your baby’s cheeks are flushed and they’ve got a fever (over 38°C), visit your GP to rule out a more serious cause rather than assume it’s caused by a pesky emerging tooth (Wake, 2002; Sarrell et al, 2005; Tighe and Roe, 2007; Ramos-Jorge et al, 2011; NICE, 2014; Eisenstadt et al, 2017). See our article on what to do if your baby has a temperature.
Other common conditions that should be ruled out if your teething baby has a fever include: croup; a respiratory or urinary tract infection; meningitis; oral herpes; constipation; or gastroenteritis (Community Practitioner, 2011; NICE, 2014).
James thought his son Alfie, 14 months, was teething, but…
‘We thought he was teething really badly and had a mild cold but no more than that – his molars were coming through. We were on holiday at the time and tried to keep him happy, but he became more and more unwell. We ended up going to the doctor and they packed us off to hospital, where we spent the night.
‘After investigation he was diagnosed with a rare infection. We’re so glad we went to the doctor – it’s true what they say about knowing your own child. Never be embarrassed about going to the doctors. Thankfully, he is a very well and happy little boy now.
I know this was a bad luck case, but even if your child has developed something more common like an ear infection, it is still so painful for them and should be checked out just in case. ’
Find out more about how to deal with teething
Teething can be a frustrating and confusing time for you and your baby. There’s nothing worse than seeing your little one miserable and in pain. For ideas on how to soothe their sore gums so they can be back to their old selves quickly, read this article.
This page was last reviewed in September 2018.
Further information
Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.
You might find attending one of NCT’s Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.
Read more about fever in children from the NHS.
For more information on what other illnesses may be causing their fever, this article from NICE is very useful.
NCT has partnered with the British Red Cross to offer courses in baby first aid.
References
Al-Shehri SS, Knox CL, Liley HG, Cowley DM, Wright JR, Henman, MG (2015) Breastmilk-saliva interactions boost innate immunity by regulating the oral microbiome in early infancy. PLoS ONE 10(9):e0135047. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4556682/ [accessed 17th September 2018].
Eisenstadt M, Malkiel S, Pollak U (2017) It’s alright, ma (I’m only teething…) dispelling the myth from the teeth. Acad J Ped Neonatol. 3(4):555618. Available at: https://juniperpublishers.com/ajpn/pdf/AJPN.MS.ID.555618.pdf [accessed 17th September 2018].
Family Lives (2018) Teething. Available at: https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/pregnancy-and-baby/health-and-dev… [accessed 1st April 2018].
Harding M (2016) Teething. Patient. Available at: https://patient.info/health/teething#nav-2 [accessed 28th September 2018].
Lyttle C, Stoops F, Welbury R, Wilson N (2015) Tooth eruption and teething in children. The Pharmaceutical Journal. 295:7883. Available at: DOI: 10.1211/PJ.2015.20069598 [accessed 17th September 2018].
Markman L (2009). Teething. Pediatrics in Review. 30(8):e59-64. Available from http://pedsinreview.aappublications.org/content/30/8/e59 [accessed 17th September 2018].
NICE (2014). Clinical Knowledge Summaries. Teething. Available at: https://cks.nice.org.uk/teething#!scenario [accessed 28th September 2018]. Ramos-Jorge J, Pordeus IA, Ramos-Jorge ML, Paiva SM (2011) Prospective longitudinal study of signs and symptoms associated with primary tooth eruption. Pediatrics. 128(3):471-476.
Sarrell EM, Horev Z, Cohen Z, Cohen HA (2005) Parents’ and medical personnel’s beliefs about infant teething. Patient Education Counseling. 57(1):122-125.
Tighe M, Roe MFE (2007) Does a teething child need serious illness excluding? Arch Disease Childhood. 92(3):266-268.
Wake M, Hesketh K, Lucas J (2000) Teething and tooth eruption in infants: a cohort study. Pediatrics. 106(6):1374-1379. Available from: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/106/6/1374?ijkey=bb123f57… 17th September 2018].
Wake M (2002) Teething symptoms: cross sectional survey of five groups of child health professionals. BMJ. 325:814. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.325.7368.814 [accessed 17th September 2018].
Why does a child drool heavily? — Megaboo
Saliva is a clear liquid produced by the salivary glands in the mouth. Since the newborn has not yet fully developed the function of swallowing, the mother can watch her baby salivate during sleep. Saliva aids digestion and flushes out bacteria and food debris from the mouth. Salivation is a normal process for babies in the first two years of life, but what if the child is constantly drooling? What are the causes of excessive salivation in older children?
Saliva secretion and stages of its formation
Every day our body produces from 1 to 2 liters of saliva, which we swallow without noticing. It is another matter with babies: they have an involuntary flow of salivary fluid, and children cannot yet control this condition. Drooling usually continues until the baby is 18 to 24 months old. The process is very common during teething, so moms and dads should be prepared for the fact that the baby will have saliva everywhere: on clothes, things, toys.
It is normal for a small child to drool like water and is considered a sign of the baby’s physical development:
At 1-3 months this happens often, especially when the baby is in a supported sitting or horizontal position.
At 6 months, parents notice that salivation increases (due to the appearance of the first teeth) when the son or daughter reaches for toys or mumbles.
At 9 months, the baby is already crawling, salivation is reduced, but teething can still stimulate salivation.
By 15 months, the baby will be walking and running, and saliva is almost invisible. However, fine motor activities that require concentration can lead to involuntary saliva flow.
At 18 months, the baby no longer drools, but this happens occasionally when dressing and playing.
At 24 months salivation is minimal.
What role does saliva play in a child’s body? Saliva itself contains beneficial enzymes that help digest semi-solid and solid foods, which is especially important for a 4-6 month old baby. Saliva neutralizes stomach acid and promotes the formation of the internal mucosa. It wraps the food and makes it easier to swallow.
Causes of excessive salivation in children
Parents, of course, are worried when their child drools like a river. Why is this happening? We list the main reasons:
Teething. Although the baby does not yet show teeth until 6-8 months, the process itself begins very early. That’s why around 3 months of age, a baby’s saliva is overproduced: the teeth begin to break through the gums.
Mouth open. An infant may keep his mouth open for a long time due to a stuffy nose or habit. In this regard, he may not swallow saliva, which leads to increased salivation.
Concentration of attention. The little explorer does not swallow saliva because he is concentrating on some task or interesting subject. Here is the oral fluid and follows.
Nutrition. Unusually sour food often provokes salivation in the baby.
Neurological disorders. Neuritis of the facial nerve (Bell’s palsy), infantile cerebral palsy, autism, Down’s syndrome are diseases manifested, among other things, by excessive salivation in children.
Side effects of medicines. Some drugs cause an increase in the muscle tone of the lips, which leads to an excess of saliva.
Exposure to toxic substances, including mercury vapor, insect bites.
Should the child be treated?
Salivation does not require any treatment as it is a normal part of growing up. Medical care is needed for those children who are no longer babies: they are older than 4 years old, and saliva still flows like a river, and it is not possible to keep clothes dry without a bib.
At the appointment, the doctor will definitely check:
Whether the child closes his lips and rolls his tongue correctly.
Does he swallow normally, are there any hoarseness and pathologies in the esophagus (tumors, swollen tonsils).
Is breathing freely through the nose.
Does the child have a natural swallowing reflex.
Whether the jaws function correctly and their position.
Allergy.
The child’s lower lip, chin, cheeks, and neck may develop irritation and a rash due to the constant flow of saliva from the mouth. Try to immediately blot these sensitive areas of the skin, dry with a clean soft towel, and apply a cream (based on lanolin, coconut oil) or petroleum jelly, aloe vera gel. Be sure to use a bib so that saliva does not penetrate the baby’s neck and chest.
If the baby is sick, treat a runny nose in a timely manner so that the nose breathes well and does not allow saliva to collect in the mouth during sleep. The child may wake up choking on excess saliva. Keep track of how your child sleeps, whether he is comfortable in the crib.
We hope that this article will help you learn more about the problem and help you understand when to see a specialist if salivation does not stop.
Symptoms of teething in children under one year old and ways to alleviate them
In the first year of life, the child develops rapidly. He learns to sit, crawl, walk. And he also has something that indicates the general physiological development, the maturation of the digestive system. He is preparing to move from feeding exclusively on milk or formula to a new stage – to the use of semi-solid and solid foods and the appearance of the first milk teeth .
The eruption of the first milk teeth is influenced by genetic characteristics, health, nutrition and other factors. Even the dependence of teething in infants on the region of residence has been established. So, in the northern regions of Russia, there is a frequent deviation from the average terms towards a later eruption of [1] .
On average, the first baby tooth appears at 6-7 months. Within three years, all 20 milk teeth will take their place in the dentition. In some babies, teething begins at 4-5 months, someone waits up to 10-12 months. All this is the norm range [2] .
There are several theories explaining the process of teething [2] :
Hunter’s theory – pushing a tooth out of the bone alveolus occurs due to the pressure of growing roots;
Yasvoin’s theory – the appearance of a tooth above the gum provokes processes of differentiation in the tissue of the dental papilla;
Katz’s theory – an increase in tissue pressure in the area of the bottom of the alveoli directs the tooth to the surface.
But none of them can fully explain this complex mechanism.
By the time the tooth erupts, there is resorption of the bone covering the crown of the tooth. The same processes are noted in the gum. During the growth of the tooth root, the bone is also rebuilt and the dental alveoli gradually deepen. At the same time, morphological changes in the tissues surrounding the tooth occur: increased blood flow, changes in vascular permeability, increased production of the main substance of the pulp and periodontium
“Can the physiological process of teething in infants be pathological?” Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, Chief Pediatrician of the Central Federal District of the Russian Federation, Honored Doctor of the Russian Federation Zakharova I. N. [2]
It is not surprising that the appearance of teeth causes discomfort in children at any age, but this process is especially difficult for infants.
Symptoms of teething in a child
The appearance of milk teeth is a natural physiological process, however, a number of children develop a symptom complex, which, according to the International Classification of Diseases, is classified as teething syndrome (ICD code – K00.7). Numerous surveys of young children say that the most common symptoms accompanying the appearance of teeth are:
increased salivation — processes in the oral cavity are activated;
irritability – the child experiences severe discomfort and cannot report it otherwise than by changing behavior;
sleep disturbance – the pain is so severe that the baby cannot sleep or wakes up frequently during the night;
itching of the gums – children try to compensate for it by trying to bite the breast or nipple, by trying to keep hands, toys, clothes in their mouths.
Such harbingers of the appearance of a tooth occur in 35-60% of children. But some babies may have non-specific symptoms [2] :
On average, symptoms appear 5-8 days before the appearance of a tooth. When teething several teeth at the same time, this, as a rule, increases the discomfort.
Even if the child’s symptoms are very similar to those of teething, a specialist consultation is necessary. Be sure to consult a doctor if diarrhea or fever persists for a long time.
Ways to alleviate discomfort
To ease teething in a baby, it is necessary:
provide additional attention and care from parents;
if the child is breastfed, breastfeed more often as this has a slight sedative effect;
purchase several silicone teethers that can be cooled and offered to the baby during the day;
massage the gums with a finger wrapped in a clean gauze pad or with a special silicone nozzle;
blot drool in time with a clean tissue to avoid irritation of the skin around the mouth;
if necessary and in consultation with the doctor, use medicines.
Today, there are pharmacological and non-pharmacological methods of therapy for the eruption of temporary teeth.
Topical preparations
Pediatrician prescribes gels and ointments as symptomatic relief for severe discomfort associated with teething.
These teething gels and ointments with proven effectiveness are divided into 3 groups [1] :
Anesthetic-based analgesics (lidocaine, choline, benzocaine). Sometimes lidocaine-based preparations include anti-inflammatory or antiseptic components, providing a combined effect of the gel.
Medicines based on anti-inflammatory or antiseptic agents.
Preparations based on extracts of medicinal plants. They use extracts of Roman chamomile, boswellia, aloe, marshmallow, Indian ivy, medicinal rhubarb, calendula and other components of plant origin.
Homeopathic teething products are also produced, but their effectiveness has not been scientifically proven [1] .
Systemic drugs
In severe pain syndrome, hyperthermia, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs are used, which reduce body temperature and have a systemic analgesic effect. The pediatrician should select the dosage and the drug suitable for the child.
Distractions
These include: the gum massage described above and baby teethers that help your baby temporarily relieve itchy gums.
Inspection of erupted teeth
Swelling and redness of the gums gradually subside as the infant’s teeth erupt and grow, but should be monitored. Normally, the teeth should be evenly located in the dentition, not have whitish or colored spots, irregularities on the enamel.
Violation of the timing, pairing and sequence of eruption of milk teeth can serve as a marker of various diseases and disorders. For example, rickets or hypothyroidism [2] . It is important to record the date of appearance of each tooth and its location in the mouth. It is convenient to do this with photos saved in a separate folder on your smartphone.
Erupted Tooth Care Instructions
To clean baby’s teeth, use special silicone fingertips with soft bristles. Toothpaste should be labeled as suitable for young children and free of substances that are harmful if swallowed: high concentrations of fluoride, parabens, sodium lauryl sulfate.
As soon as the first tooth shows above the gum line, it needs special care . Enamel has not yet fully formed, it is very thin, so children’s caries develops rapidly. Only 10% of children manage to avoid caries and adults practically fail [5] . Therefore, do not postpone the preventive fight against it.
To maintain the health of milk teeth, some of which will remain with the child until the age of 10-12, it is important to visit the dentist regularly once every 3-4 months. After a year, you need to visit an orthodontist to make sure that the bite develops correctly.
List of sources
1. Zaplatnikov A. L., Kasyanova A. N. , Maykova I. D. Teething syndrome in infants: a new look at an old problem 2018 // https://www.rmj.ru /articles/pediatriya/Sindrom_prorezyvaniya_zubov_u_mladencev_novyy_vzglyad_na_staruyu_problemu/ (Accessed 05/28/2020).
2. Zakharova IN, Kholodova IN, Dmitrieva Yu. A., Morozova NV, Mozzhukhina MV, Kholodov DI Can the physiological process of teething in infants be pathological? 2016 // https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/mozhet-li-fiziologicheskiy-protsess-prorezyvaniya-zubov-u-mladentsev-byt-patologicheskim (date of access: 05/28/2020).
3. Kleschenko E. I., Zhdanova I. A., Lukisha A. N., Krakovets I. V., Smychkova E. V., Kartavtseva A. V. Symptoms of teething in infants: condition or disease? 2017 // https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/simptomy-prorezyvaniya-zubov-u-mladentsev-sostoyanie-ili-bolezn (date of access: 05/28/2020).
4. Kiselnikova L.P., Drobotko L.N. Eruption of temporary teeth in children // https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/prorezyvanie-vremennyh-zubov-u-detey 2017 (date of access: May 28, 2020).
5. 90 percent of children and 100 percent of adults suffer from caries, Komsomolskaya Pravda, 09/04/2016 // URL: https://www.kp.ru/daily/26429.7/3300802/ (date of access: 07/21/2020).
Temperature during teething: causes, duration
When teething, the child’s body experiences severe stress and reacts to it with increased temperature. In order not to confuse a common cold with a temperature during teething, you need to know what exactly happens when teeth are cut.
The reason for the rise in temperature during eruption The temperature occurs for a reason. The child’s body reacts in this way to the inflammation of the gums that has appeared, through which the tooth will soon come out. At this time, the immunity at the site of the future tooth decreases, and various microorganisms begin to activate, which also cause temperature. Up to a year, teething is more or less calm and does not cause severe inconvenience, but after a year, when fangs begin to erupt, which take longer to appear, the baby may experience pain accompanied by fever, up to several weeks. Often the temperature rises not because of inflammation of the gums, but because of viruses that have entered the body or infection due to reduced immunity. The body with its help fights with them, because they are not able to exist at high temperatures, so they die.
How high can the temperature rise? How much the temperature will rise, individually for each organism. Normally, it can vary from 37.5 to 38.5 degrees. It is necessary to measure the temperature every half an hour or an hour, because in young children it can rise very quickly, because their body is still unable to properly perform heat exchange. If the temperature began to reach a value of 39 degrees, then you must immediately call an ambulance, because this may mean the appearance of various complications.
Duration Regardless of the examples given, all organisms react differently, so things can develop differently for different children. Usually the temperature lasts 2-3 days and disappears when the tooth erupts. There are also cases when the temperature lasts for 5 or even 7 days, and the temperature can rise and disappear completely after a few hours. Be that as it may, the doctor still needs to be called to examine the baby. To exclude complications and a number of other diseases, in which case they should be treated as early as possible.
What are the symptoms other than fever? Fever is not the only sign of teething. In parallel, a runny nose may join due to the spread of edema from the gums to the nasal mucosa. This happens when the upper teeth erupt. Also one of the symptoms is profuse salivation and weakening of the baby’s stool.
What symptoms should alert? Due to reduced immunity, the child’s body is not able to fight many viruses and infections. The following signs may indicate their presence: • the nose is very stuffy, and snot flows from it in large quantities. This means that rhinitis has joined the edema, it must be treated; • diarrhea. Very rarely it appears along with the temperature, but still happens. This may mean some kind of intestinal infection brought by the baby with the help of toys; • cough. Because of the strong salivation, children do not always have time to swallow saliva, so sometimes they can choke on it, as a result of which they cough. If the cough is repeated systematically and at the same time there are signs of outgoing sputum, then inflammation of the respiratory tract has joined the temperature; • reddened throat. In addition to the nasal mucosa, edema can also pass to the mucous membranes of the neck. This may mean the appearance of pharyngitis or acute respiratory infections; • nausea and vomiting. Occur at a very elevated temperature, perhaps this is a symptom of an intestinal infection or damage to the nervous system. If the baby has these signs, you should immediately consult a doctor who will prescribe the necessary treatment, regardless of the presence of temperature.
What measures should be taken in case of high temperature? Many parents start antipyretics and antivirals when they have a mild fever. You can’t do this, because you need to allow the body to fight the virus on its own. The abuse of such drugs can lead to addiction, and in the future the body will not be able to cope with infections and viruses on its own. Pediatricians advise not to bring down the temperature until it reaches 38 degrees, because you need to let the body fight. If the effectiveness of antipyretics is low, you can wipe the baby with a little cool water or rub it with an alcohol solution with the addition of vinegar. Sometimes parents resort to such a method as homeopathy, but with the help of these remedies it will not be possible to effectively reduce the temperature, although they can generally improve the condition of the crumbs. If the temperature does not subside for more than 3 days, you should consult a doctor.
Is it possible to walk in the temperature? If the baby feels well and the temperature is not too high, then a walk in the fresh air will only bring benefits. Only the child needs to be dressed according to the weather. You need to walk calmly so that he does not overwork. Even if there is confidence that the temperature is a consequence of teething, you still need to call a doctor who will make an accurate diagnosis and prescribe the right treatment. Self-treatment in this case is unacceptable, because in case of an error, you can harm the health of the baby.
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what it is and how it is treated in dentistry SDent
Ptyalism, or hypersalivation, is an increased production of saliva due to excessive activity of the salivary glands, which can occur in both adults and children. You can determine the pathology by the frequent swallowing of saliva, its leakage from the corners of the mouth and the formation of wet marks on the pillow after sleep. In addition to constant psychological and physical discomfort, excess saliva over time can lead to irritation and damage to the skin around the mouth. If the necessary measures are not taken, the skin will first turn red, and then a rash will appear on them.
Increased salivation is often observed in children aged 3-6 months, but this is not a pathology. It is in the first six months that the salivary glands begin to actively develop, and the child himself does not yet control the timely swallowing of saliva. Ptyalism before the age of 2 years can also be the result of objective causes – in particular, teething. Short-term activation of saliva production is often observed in adults after ingestion of certain foods or drinks. However, if it is permanent, then ptyalism is already diagnosed.
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Distinguish true and false hypersalivation: in the first case, the volume of saliva secreted is increased several times, and in the second, only the process of swallowing it during normal production is disturbed. In addition, salivation can be detected only during sleep (nocturnal ptyalism), which is the result of malocclusion, diseases of the upper respiratory tract, gastritis and other factors. Increased salivation often occurs in pregnant women in the early stages due to changes in the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract and hormonal changes.
Causes of persistent salivation:
– Inflammation of the salivary glands and various pathologies of the oral cavity (eg stomatitis).
– Worms and diseases of the digestive system: ulcers, gastritis with low acidity.
– Poisoning with mercury, chlorine and other substances, as well as taking certain medications.
– Rabies and epidemic encephalitis.
Treatment of hypersalivation
If ptyalism is mild, solutions based on chamomile, water pepper or viburnum fruits can be used for rinsing. However, it is better not to self-medicate (especially since folk remedies do not solve the problem) and consult a doctor. After collecting an anamnesis, checking the act of swallowing and the state of the oral cavity, as well as calculating the amount of saliva secreted, a treatment regimen is determined .
The choice of therapeutic measures depends on the clinical presentation and the underlying cause. Increased salivation is usually just a sign of another pathology, so other specialists may be involved in the treatment, in particular, a dentist, neurologist or gastroenterologist. For example, if ptyalism is caused by gastritis, then drugs that affect acidity are prescribed. In diseases of the oral cavity that provoke salivation, the existing pathology is also first eliminated. The most problematic is the treatment of hypersalivation that has developed against the background of mental disorders or neurological diseases.
Common methods include saliva suppressants, cold therapy, injections, and massage to strengthen the muscles of the mouth. In especially difficult cases, they resort to irradiation or removal of large salivary glands. Elimination of increased salivation in children has some features, for which speech therapy massage sessions are additionally recommended to normalize the act of swallowing. Prevention ptyalism at any age is the prevention of development or timely treatment of diseases that provoke it. Adults also need to choose the right diet and not abuse bad habits.
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When is the right time to take your child to a speech therapist?
The speech of babies sometimes amuses and touches. And her defects seem funny and harmless to many parents. “Voice of Cherepovets” went to the specialists of the Cherepovets Center for Psychological, Pedagogical, Medical and Social Assistance to find out whether it is necessary to go to a speech therapist with a child under three years old and how early speech development methods and “talking” toys affect this very speech?
Whenever gugu . Speech therapist teacher Elena Makartseva told us when and why you need to contact a speech therapist. The specialist identified seven main reasons.
1. If a child at a very early age (before a year) does not have cooing and babbling.
“He can babble in different ways. This is both “khhh”, and “gee”, “agu”, “aha”. Then syllables appear: “didi”, “gigi”, “bubu”, “tata”. You need to be wary if the baby is already a year old, and he still hasn’t got babbling words. He does not understand the addressed speech and does not perform well-known actions with objects at the request of his parents, says the speech therapist. – For example, he does not turn his head in response to questions: “Where is dad? Woman?” And also does not respond to his name.
If after a year the baby does not pronounce about 8-10 words like “kit-kit”, “yum”, this is also a reason to consult.
2. If by two or two and a half years the child uses too little vocabulary, does not speak in phrases or does not speak at all. He does not understand or poorly understands the speech addressed to him, does not know how to express his desires and goals in simple words and expressions.
“By the age of two and a half, as a rule, the baby already pronounces elementary phrases, combining two or three words. For example, “give pi” (give me a drink), “papa bi” (dad left), explains Elena Viktorovna . “If at this age a child understands well the speech of adults addressed to him, but can express his desires only with gestures, cannot formulate simple phrases like “I want to eat” or “I want to drink”, it is necessary to visit a neurologist and a speech therapist with him.
3. Until the age of three, the baby was silent, and then began to speak actively. At the same time, he speaks in “his own” language, where there are almost no clear and simple words.
In addition, if by the age of three the child retains increased salivation: “During speaking, drooling flows, and the baby does not swallow it, cannot perform simple movements with the organs of articulation. For example, stick out your tongue or hold your lips in a smile for five seconds.”
4. If the child understands everything but does not want to speak. “Just very stubborn,” the parents reassure themselves.
5. If the child is “choking” with speech, he is in a hurry to express his thoughts.
“This happens when there is not enough exhalation for a phrase and the child gets air in the middle of a word. As a result, we hear fragments of words turning into a set of vowels, the pace of speech is very fast, the child inhales convulsively, trying to express his thought.
6. If the child does not strive to communicate with peers and adults, to joint subject-practical activities, is not interested in others. Plays alone or participates only in “non-verbal” games, reluctantly answers questions from an adult, tries to answer with gestures.
7. If the child speaks strongly through the nose. Nasal, or, as it is called, strong nasalization of the voice, is also a reason to go to a speech therapist.
Talking toys. We wondered if there would be an effect of advanced development if a technique aimed at overcoming lagging speech development is applied to a child with normally developing speech. This question was answered by Anna Shalkina , teacher-defectologist of the Cherepovets Center for Psychological, Pedagogical, Medical and Social Assistance:
— It must be remembered that each child develops at his own pace, along his own educational trajectory. Advanced development is characteristic, as a rule, of more gifted children. Thus, the use of techniques aimed at overcoming lagging speech development for teaching normally developing children is unlikely to contribute to advanced development, it can only help the child more fully learn the norms of his native language. It is better to start any classes according to a certain methodology after a preliminary consultation with a specialist.
– There is a tendency to teach the child the first words with the help of “talking” toys. How useful is it?
— “Talking” toys, of course, provide the necessary emotional load. They are able to interest the child, assist in training, education, development – in particular, auditory perception, fine motor skills, thinking, memory develop, – says Anna Nikolaevna. – However, they are more often interesting to the child only for a short time. Children do not play with them, but learn the functions. In part, such toys somewhat hinder the creative potential of children, hinder the development of communication skills. Having studied the possibilities of one toy, the child demands another one from his parents, and when mom and dad buy an ordinary doll, a car, a soft toy, he does not like them. The kid is already used to “independent” toys that entertain him in different ways. And here you need to roll the car, imagine how it flashes its headlights, etc.
Inna Anokhina, newspaper “Voice of Cherepovets”
When teeth are cut – BLOG of pediatric dentistry UtkinZub in Moscow scares parents who are not ready for such a development of events. What
symptoms of teeth in children should alert adults what to do.
Help baby when teething
If your baby is just worried about teething, constantly salivating, sucking on his fingers or trying to scratch his gums with something, it is quite easy to help your baby:
Get some very soft wipes and constantly wipe the saliva. This will protect the baby from irritation of the skin of the face. When sleeping, put a napkin under your baby’s head to absorb involuntary saliva.
Be sure to buy high-quality special silicone toys for developing gums – teethers, or special rings with liquid so that the baby can gnaw them. The liquid makes the rings softer and pleasantly cools the gums (the rings can be stored in the refrigerator). Do not save – take only branded, certified products. After all, this is the health of your beloved child.
Periodically massage the gums with a special nozzle, or just with your finger (wash your hands thoroughly, nails are short, with neatly finished edges), you can use a moistened gauze pad. This procedure will also prevent the occurrence of stomatitis (“Stomatitis in infants – types, causes, symptoms”).
Breastfeeding your baby often is a great way to soothe him and relieve itchy gums.
Some babies are happy to suck and gnaw bagels, a crust of bread, an apple without a peel – offer it, it’s a good distraction.
It is strictly forbidden to lubricate the gums with various medications without a doctor’s prescription, to give the baby pills and potions on your own. Only a specialist – a pediatrician or pediatric dentist can prescribe an ointment or gel to relieve pain, while a preliminary test for allergic reactions is mandatory. Although ointments and gels with lidocaine (Kamistad, Calgel) are sold without a prescription, it is impossible to lubricate the baby’s gums without checking, because if the baby is allergic to lidocaine, the baby may experience anaphylactic shock. For allergy sufferers, the doctor prescribes a special Baby Doctor ointment or others.
Try to distract the child, more time to play with him, walk.
When should I see a doctor?
It is imperative to consult a pediatrician if the following signs of teething are observed in a child:
high fever;
vomiting;
diarrhea;
coryza;
cough;
skin rashes;
convulsions;
persistent drowsiness;
prolonged irritability, capriciousness.
Such symptoms should in any case be a reason to see a doctor. Often, parents, on the advice of grandmothers, attribute everything to the fact that the child is teething, the temperature, they say, is in all children. And here it is not. Most children tolerate tooth growth without fever. And fever is a sign of most diseases. Therefore, it is possible to miss the onset of some disease or pathological process that coincides with the period of teething.
Why does the temperature appear? The fact is that at the site of the eruption of the tooth, the gum swells, which is associated with raising the tooth and an increased influx of biologically active substances. The body reacts to this with a protective increase in temperature – to prevent infection of the gums cut with sharp edges. Tooth temperature lasts one or two days. If the child tolerates it easily, is not prone to convulsions, and the doctor does not find other reasons for the increase in temperature, then it is not necessary to bring it down to 38 degrees. In the case of a longer rise in temperature, an examination of the baby and a doctor’s consultation are necessary.
Should alert vomiting in a child during teething, in case of exclusion of other causes of this condition. All changes in the gastrointestinal tract have a fairly simple explanation: during this period, it secretes a lot of saliva and the child constantly swallows it often, which causes increased secretion of gastric juice and vomiting (rare), as well as increased intestinal motility, which means that appears diarrhea in a child during teething. Diarrhea occurs rarely (2-3 times a day), watery discharge, lasts no longer than 2 days. If diarrhea is more frequent, prolonged, streaked with blood, with fever and refusal to eat, urgently seek help from a medical institution – this may be an intestinal infection that the baby brought in when combing the gums. In this case, treatment in a hospital is indicated, since the patient’s condition can deteriorate very quickly due to dehydration.
infant – Is it common for a 3 month old baby to drool and suck their fingers?
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4 years, 5 months ago
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My son has just turned 3 months old.
Recently I have observed him drooling and sucking his fingers. He usually drools more after feeding and sucks his fingers almost all the time.
Is this common or abnormal behaviour?
What might be the root cause and how can we break his habits?
infant
behavior
newborn
habits
Absolutely. What you’re seeing is entirely normal in babies, particularly around 3+ months old. Among other things, he might be beginning to teethe; both of those things are associated with teething. Drooling is associated with basically everything for many babies, and sucking on fingers (or thumbs or other things) is also very normal.
If the drooling is truly excessive, you may want to talk to your pediatrician to ensure it’s not due to a few particular causes (low muscle tone, in particular). Otherwise, buy a lot of bibs, and put a bib on him at all times, over his shirt, or under it if over is a problem. Make sure it’s a safe bib (that cannot choke him). Many bibs must be removed for sleeping, although I think some are safe(r).
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Yes, completely normal, and you should absolutely NOT try to “break his habits!” Drooling and chewing on anything that’s handy is a natural response to impending teething. If you don’t want him to chew on his fingers, you can give him something else for teething, but I think fingers are best, because teethers can get lost and cause unnecessary distress if he can’t find them or get them into his mouth. You can also be confident that none of his fingers are going to break off and become a choking hazard.
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Yes, ours baby girl has been drooling since she was 9 weeks. Babies can begin teething long before you see a tooth. But that doesn’t mean that she is indeed teething, Sometimes babies drool for no reason.
My tip 🙂 Chances are that your washing cycle has become much more frequent now you have a baby. You must use bandana bibs.
While bibs wont prevent mess, a bib does provide a layer of protection between your baby’s meal and the clothes which they are wearing. Rather than constantly washing baby food coated clothes, you simply clean the bib instead 🙂 it save lot of time and your baby is clean.
Yes, drooling and sucking fingers are very common habits. At the time of teething, sucking fingers helps soothe sore gums and is a baby’s way of calming himself. Drooling is common but if your baby is in danger of choking or gagging or if he finds any difficulty in breathing then you should consult your doctor.
Sucking fingers is not a problem but drooling if it is excess then consult your doctor once.
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I have a son of 4 month now who usually is sucking his fingers. At first I thought it was dangerous, but as time went on I just let him be, because at first he wasn’t doing that. I think over time he will learn to stop himself.
Here is a nice article with a guide for teething. That seems to be the most logical explanation. My kids were moderate droolers, but my nephew would soak a bib in an hour, bless his heart.
Also, we did not give either of our children pacifiers, so my daughter, especially, had her hands in her mouth a lot. It worried me, but it passed once her teeth grew in.
It could also be that your baby might be tounge and lip tied it is common for alot of parents not to get this sort of thing checked. My 3 month old has been drooling since birth. I my self didn’t think much of it till i realized its been going on to long ao looked it up and did some research and my little one falls into almost every category system that tounge and lip ties cause. Must look for a “CERTIFIED” Lactation Consultant” NOT just go to your local gp
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Why Some Babies Excessively Drool & What It Could Mean
By
Karen Samuels
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There are a variety of reasons your baby may be drooling more than normal, some of which are more severe than others. Here’s what parents must know.
Infants begin to drool at 3 months, as the body secretes more saliva in preparation for solid foods. Due to their undeveloped oral motor function, they cannot coordinate their muscles to swallow all the saliva, and so, most of it ends up on their clothes. It is normal and necessary for babies to drool. It shows that their digestive system is developing. Mild drooling is normal – but how much drooling is too much? Keep reading to find out what it means when your baby drools excessively.
Via Flickr
Salivary glands produce 2 to 4 pints of saliva in a day; any more than this is excessive. In case your baby maintains a steady flow of saliva all day, they are drooling excessively. It would be best if you consult your pediatrician for a professional diagnosis.
What Does It Mean When Babies Drool A Lot?
Developmental Reasons
The following things cause excessive drooling as the baby grows:
Swallowing problems-the underdeveloped mouth muscles make it difficult for infants to swallow all the saliva. As they grow, the muscles mature, and drooling stops before their second birthday.
Absent front teeth– the front teeth are like a dam, barring saliva from sneaking out of the mouth.
Open-mouth resting posture– babies may adopt the open-mouth posture due to weak oral muscles, thumb sucking, or restriction of the airways (could be due to nasal congestion, inflamed tonsils, etc.).
Physiological Reasons
Hypersecretion of saliva results in drooling. These are some of the reasons that increase the secretion of saliva.
Teething– When babies start teething at around 4 to 6 months old, it stimulates the salivary reflex causing excessive saliva production. If your baby is teething, they are likely to show other symptoms besides drooling, including; irritability, inflamed gums, appetite loss, rubbing ears, and restless sleep.
Certain foods– Feeding your baby with spicy and sour foods and fruits increase the chances of drooling. If you have been feeding her spicy foods and acidic fruits like citrus fruits, cut back on them and observe any drooling changes.
Food sensation– Sometimes the drooling is a reaction to the smell of the baby’s favorite food.
Concentration
Anything that catches the baby’s attention for long enough will do two things:
Simulate the mind, which causes the hypersecretion of saliva.
Distract their attention from their mouth to the point of drooling.
Infections
Certain infections cause excessive drooling. They include:
Infection of the mouth or throat – Gingivostomatitis and coxsackievirus can cause excessive production of saliva. Epiglottitis, tonsillitis, or peritonsillar may cause swallowing difficulties and pain, which results in excessive drooling.
GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease)– A baby with GERD might have occasional drooling when gastric acids irritate the esophagus.
Corrosive esophagitis– This is when the esophagus is injured after the ingestion of a corrosive agent like detergent or acids.
Metal poisoning– Poisoning with metals like mercury and selenium often causes hypersalivation.
Neurological Disorders
Via Flickr
Disorders that affect muscle control often lead to drooling. These diseases include:
Cerebral palsy
Wilson’s disease
Bell’s palsy
Autism
Polymyositis
Myasthenia gravis
Rett Syndrome
Medications
Drooling could be a side effect of medications like clozapine, morphine, methacholine, and haloperidol, which causes excessive salivation. Drugs like nitrazepam cause swallowing difficulties, which results in drooling.
How Excessive Drooling Can Harm Your Baby
Constant saliva irritates the skin. It causes chapping and rashes on your baby’s skin wherever the drool rests. You might notice red rashes or bumps under the baby’s lower lip, the chin, and sometimes the neck.
RELATED: This Baby Teeth & Gum Massager Has Been a Life Saver for Parents with Teething Newborns
That is why you should wipe that drool as frequently as is needed to keep her skin dry. Dab the saliva with a soft washcloth, preferably cotton, to avoid skin irritation. Other remedies include:
Use a bib to collect the drool.
Use a moisturizing ointment. Consult your pediatrician on the right cream to use.
When Should I Be Worried About Drooling?
Mild drooling is expected and normal. The body produces more saliva for swallowing, digestion, and oral hygiene. But this is when parents should be concerned:
If the baby keeps drooling past the age of 2 years, speak to your pediatrician.
Sudden drooling with speaking and breathing difficulties could be a sign of choking. You should call 911 and perform first aid immediately.
Drooling accompanied byfever, vomiting, sweating, agitation, sore throat and other disease-like symptoms need medical attention.
When unexplained drooling begins suddenly, it might indicate a medical condition.
If you are not sure whether the drool is normal or excessive, consult your child’s pediatrician. The doctor will examine the baby for underlying medical conditions and prescribe necessary steps, including treatment or therapy.
NEXT: 15 Must-Knows About The Baby’s Mouth From Tongue-ties To Teeth
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About The Author
Karen Samuels
(983 Articles Published)
Karen is a momma that loves to write. She has been on writing on pregnancy, parenting, motherhood, and the realities of raising babies for the past four years. She’s worked with Woman Junction, BabyGaga, The Talko, The Things, as well as other sites. For inquiries, please email [email protected]
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Advice on Teething – Potomac Pediatrics| Rockville, MD
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Drool, Drool Everywhere: Advice on Teething
By Michelle Place, CRNP-P In the first few weeks of life we like to blame any irritability or general fussiness on gas (see blog post “It’s the Gas, Gas, Gas” posted March 29, 2017). As our babies get a little bit older and have a couple of months under their belt we start to blame any disruption in sleep patterns, unexplained crying, fever, diarrhea, runny nose, etc., etc. on teething. Knowing what to expect when your child’s first teeth are erupting through their gums will help you understand what is going on and how best to make your baby feel better.
When do babies start teething?
Around 2-3 months of age babies’ juices really start flowing. They start crying tears when they never had any before and the amount of saliva they produce increases to such a degree that they are unable to control it and it dribbles continuously from their mouths. Things are really damp and your mother-in-law (and everyone else you encounter on the street) declares that your baby is teething. Not yet. The earliest the first tooth generally makes an appearance is around 4 months of age. Most commonly, the first teeth come in around six months of age, but babies can start teething anywhere from six to 13 months. There is great variability in the timing of teething. If your child does not show any teeth until later in their first year, don’t worry. The timing is determined by heredity, and it does not mean that anything is wrong.
In what order do baby teeth come in?
Your baby was born with all 20 primary teeth in place below the gumline. The first teeth to appear usually are the two bottom front teeth, also known as the central incisors. They are usually followed 4 to 8 weeks later by the four front upper teeth (central and lateral incisors). About a month later, the lower lateral incisors (the two teeth flanking the bottom front teeth) will appear. Next to break through are the first molars (the back teeth used for grinding food), usually around your baby’s first birthday, then finally the eyeteeth (the pointy teeth in the upper jaw). Most children have all 20 of their primary teeth by their third birthday, so teething goes on for a long time!
How do I know if my baby is teething?
In many babies, you will not know until you look one day and spot that cute little tooth sticking out. For a lot of babies teething is a painless process. There are a lot of symptoms that are blamed on teething including fever, runny nose, and diarrhea to name a few. In reality teething only causes two symptoms, drooling and irritability, that is it! The reason parents think that teething causes fever, diarrhea and other symptoms is because in the second six months of life babies start attending daycare, mommy and me classes, and playdates. At the same time they also become more mobile and start putting everything into their mouths. As a result, babies develop a lot of viral illnesses at the same time that their teeth start coming. The timing is a coincidence. A fever greater than 100.4F is never caused by teething. To reiterate, there are only two signs of teething:
Fussiness: Just like any other time of fussiness, rocking, shushing and going for car rides can help soothe your baby.
Drooling: You have been warned: lots of drooling is in store when your baby is teething. That is because teething stimulates saliva, so be prepared.
What are the best teething remedies?
Keep baby’s face as dry as possible: Gently wipe your baby’s face often with a cloth to remove the drool and prevent rashes from developing.
Massage: A light, gentle rub or massage might give your little one a lot of relief. Remember to wash your hands, then massage the sore areas in your baby’s mouth with your finger or knuckle.
Give your baby something cold to chew on.
Make sure it’s big enough that it can’t be swallowed or choked on and that it can’t break into small pieces.
A wet washcloth placed in the freezer for 15-30 minutes makes a handy teething aid (tie one end in a knot for better gnawing). Be sure to take it out of the freezer before it becomes rock hard — you don’t want to bruise those already swollen gums — and be sure to wash it after each use.
Rubber teething rings are also good, but avoid ones with liquid inside because they may break or leak. If you use a teething ring, chill it in the refrigerator, NOT the freezer.
Pay attention to what teething toys are made of and how easy they are to wash: Your baby will be putting this toy in her mouth, so you want to be sure that it is made of safe materials and easy to clean to prevent mold from growing inside. Also, never boil to sterilize it — extreme changes in temperature can cause plastic to get damaged and leak chemicals.
Teething biscuits and frozen or cold food are only OK for children who already eat solid foods. Do not use them if your child has not yet started solids. Make sure to watch your baby to ensure that no pieces break off or pose a choking hazard.
Medication at bedtime: If your baby seems irritable, give a weight-based dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen (for babies older than 6 months) at bedtime to ease discomfort. Trying some of these other methods should ease your baby’s discomfort enough that giving medication around the clock is not necessary but a dose at bedtime for a couple of nights to help everyone sleep is reasonable.
Keep your usual bedtime routine: If your teething baby is irritable, try to make him comfortable, but keep to your usual bedtime routine. Changing the routine, even for a few nights, may lead to sleep troubles.
What teething remedies are unsafe for babies?
Teething gels with benzocaine: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends that parents and caregivers not use benzocaine products for children younger than 2. Benzocaine is an over-the-counter anesthetic, which is found in products like: Anbesol, Hurricaine, Orajel, Baby Orajel and Orabase. These products can cause serious risks and provide little to no benefits for treating oral pain, including sore gums in infants due to teething. Benzocaine has, also, been associated with a rare but serious—and sometimes fatal—condition called methemoglobinemia, a disorder in which the amount of oxygen carried through the bloodstream is greatly reduced.
Homeopathic Teething Tablets: The FDA also urges parents not to use homeopathic teething tablets after lab testing found they contained belladonna, a toxic substance, sometimes far exceeding the amount stated on the label. Homeopathic teething products have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA for safety or effectiveness, and the agency says it is unaware of any proven health benefit of the products. In late 2016, the FDA advised parents to stop using homeopathic teething tablets and gels after there were multiple incidents of babies and toddlers having seizures after taking them
Amber necklaces: There is a substance found in amber that when warmed by placing it next to the baby’s skin is supposed to pass through the skin to create a pain-relieving effect, however, there is no scientific research or evidence to back up these claims. The necklaces are a choking and strangling hazard. The FDA released an official warning in December 2018 after receiving reports of children choking on beads that break off and an 18-month-old being strangled to death by an amber necklace during a nap.
Never place an aspirin against the tooth, and don’t rub alcohol on your baby’s gums.
Now that they are here, how should I care for my baby’s teeth?
The care and cleaning of your baby’s teeth is important for long-term dental health. Even though the first set of teeth will fall out, tooth decay makes them fall out more quickly, leaving gaps before the permanent teeth are ready to come in. The remaining primary teeth may then crowd together to attempt to fill in the gaps, which may cause the permanent teeth to come in crooked and out of place.
Daily dental care should begin even before your baby’s first tooth comes in. Wipe your baby’s gums daily with a clean, damp washcloth or gauze, or brush them gently with a soft, infant-sized toothbrush and water (no toothpaste!).
Once your child has a tooth, you should begin brushing them twice a day with a smear of fluoride toothpaste the size of a grain of rice, especially after the last drink or food of the day. Remember not to put your baby to bed with a bottle because the milk or juice can pool in your baby’s mouth and cause tooth decay and plaque.
Once your child turns 3, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the American Dental Association (ADA), and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) recommend that a pea-sized amount of fluoride toothpaste be used when brushing. When your child is able, teach him or her to spit out the excess toothpaste.
It is best if you put the toothpaste on the toothbrush until your child is about age 6. Parents should monitor and assist their child while brushing until he or she is around 7 or 8 years old. When your child can write his or her name well, he or she also has the ability to brush well.
The American Dental Association (ADA) recommends that children see a dentist by age 1, or within 6 months after the first tooth appears, to spot any potential problems and give advice about preventive care.
Your baby’s teeth and gums will also be examined, and fluoride varnish applied, at well-baby checkups at Potomac Pediatrics. Remember, regular childhood dental care helps set the stage for a lifetime of healthy teeth and gums.
When you picture the first year of your baby’s life, you probably imagine plenty of smiles, snuggles, milestones and more. And then teething starts. When your child is teething, they can quickly change from a smiling, happy baby into a drooling, cranky mess — all because of that little white tooth trying to break through their ultra-sensitive gums.
When do babies start to get teeth? On average, babies will get their first tooth around 6 months of age, but there’s no specific age babies start teething. Some babies may start feeling the pain and discomfort of teething as early as 3 months. Others may not get their first tooth until closer to their first birthday.
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How to Tell If Your Baby is Teething
Each child is different, so their responses to the teething phase may vary. If you’re wondering “is my baby teething,” there are a few symptoms to look out for:
1. Crying and Irritability
One of the most common signs your baby is teething is a noticeable change in their mood. Even the happiest baby may suddenly become irritable. Your little one may cry more frequently or become easily agitated. Typically, this mood shift will be more pronounced in the weeks leading up to the appearance of their first tooth and gradually improve with other subsequent teeth. You may notice they become increasingly irritated again when their molars begin to appear during their second year.
2. Excessive Drooling
Another common sign of teething is excessive drooling. In some babies, this can start as early as 10 weeks of age and continue throughout the teething process. When a baby is drooling due to teething, it’s common for them to soak through their shirt (or their parent’s shirt) within a short period. No baby or parent wants to spend the day in damp clothing, so many parents use bibs to keep clothing dry throughout the day. Excessive drooling can also cause a rash on the skin around your baby’s neck, chin and mouth.
3. Biting
One of the first signs of teething is an increased interest in biting. The pressure the pain creates from a soon-to-erupt tooth can be relieved by applying counterpressure. Instinctively, teething babies will look for things to bite down on to get that counterpressure and relieve their discomfort. You may notice your little one biting anything they can get their hands on. For older babies who already have a couple of teeth, this can be especially painful if they try to bite while nursing.
4. Changes to Eating and Sleeping Routines
Teething is a 24/7 endeavor, which means it impacts all areas of a baby’s life. A child who is teething may struggle to nurse or drink from a bottle, as sucking may be painful to teething gums. If they’re older, they may refuse solid foods they loved just days before. The pain of teething can also disrupt sleep. Even babies who slept through the night prior to teething may suddenly be more wakeful during the night.
5. Cheek Rubbing and Ear Pulling
A teething baby may pull on their ears or rub their cheeks during the teething process. The ears, gums and cheeks all share the same nerve pathways. That means pain in the jaws from teething may be felt in the cheeks and ears too. These sensations are especially pronounced in babies who are cutting new molars. Because this particular symptom of teething can also be a symptom of an ear infection, it’s a good idea to check with your pediatrician if it continues for more than a few days — especially if it’s accompanied by other cold or flu-like symptoms like congestion and fever.
Teething Timeline
Your child’s teeth begin developing while they are still in utero, but they won’t cut through the gumline until several months after they are born. The teething age range varies from baby to baby, but in general, you can expect teething to proceed in this manner:
3 Months-6 Months: Signs That Teething Is Happening
Many parents find their babies begin drooling a lot and showing signs of discomfort as early as 3 months after birth. But that doesn’t mean a tooth is about to arrive. In fact, some babies can display signs of early teething and gum sensitivity for several months before a tooth actually appears. During this time, It’s important to focus on managing your baby’s pain and discomfort while you wait for the tooth to erupt.
6 Months-12 Months: The First Tooth
How long does it take for a tooth to break through the gums? On average, a child will cut their first tooth around 6 months of age, but it’s important to remember that number is an average. Some children get teeth sooner than that, and other children get their first tooth much later. Whatever their age when their first tooth appears, you can expect the first tooth to arrive will be one of the bottom front teeth. Once your baby has cut their bottom incisors, the next teeth to appear will be their four top teeth.
12 Months: The Molars Appear
Around your baby’s first birthday, you’ll likely notice signs that molars are making their way through the gums. Molars can also be very painful, so parents may notice their baby reverts back to some of their earlier teething symptoms, such as excessive drooling and irritability. Canines — the pointy teeth between incisors and molars, will also appear around this time.
12 Months-24 Months: The Teething Process Winds Down
During your baby’s second year, the teething process will primarily involve molars. Young children have two sets of molars, so once the first set appears around age 1, it’s time for the second set to make their way through as they approach age 2. Molars tend to be painful because of the broad flat surface breaking through the gums. As with earlier teeth, managing the discomfort is key to getting your baby through this uncomfortable time.
How to Soothe Your Teething Baby
Wondering what to do when your baby is teeth? Watching your baby struggle with the discomfort of teething is no fun, but there are some simple things you can do to help ease discomfort:
1. Keep Your Baby’s Face and Mouth Dry
All that drool coming from your baby’s mouth has to go somewhere. If you leave it on those chubby cheeks and cute outfits, there’s a good chance your baby will develop skin irritation. If you don’t want to change their clothes often, invest in teething bibs. These bibs can catch the drool and are easy to remove and replace throughout the day. Skin products such as Vaseline and Aquaphor can also be used on their skin to create a moisture barrier and prevent irritation.
2. Utilize Teething Rings and Toys
Teething rings are designed to apply counterpressure that reduces the painful pressure in a baby’s gums. Keep a clean supply of these rings around the house and in the diaper bag so you can soothe your baby at home and on the go. Products that can be put in the freezer are even better — the cold numbs their sore gums and provides some additional relief.
3. Consult a Pediatrician
Your child’s pediatrician can be a great resource for how to soothe your baby during teething. They can advise you on the best way to use over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and non-medicated teething products designed to relieve pain and discomfort.
Trust Sprout Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics for Quality Pediatric Dental Care
The American Dental Association recommends a child has their first dental checkup 6 months after their first tooth erupts or by the time they turn 1 — whichever comes first. An early pattern of dental checkups can help ensure your child’s teeth are developing correctly and prevent dental problems later in life. At Sprout Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics, you’ll find a team of experienced dental professionals committed to taking care of your child’s teeth and gums every step of the way.
Call today to schedule your child’s first pediatric dentist appointment.
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Dr. Dana Fox
Dr. Dana grew up in Portland and went to Temple University in Philadelphia, PA for dental school. She then moved to Anchorage, AK for her residency in Pediatric Dentistry. Dr. Dana takes a holistic approach to pediatric dentistry & is able to use her own parenting experience to sympathize and understand each family’s unique dynamic.
January 21, 2021
by
Dr. Dana Fox
Teething
Is this your child’s symptom?
The normal process of new teeth working their way through the gums
Questions about teething
Baby teeth come in between 6 and 24 months of age
Caution: At least one tooth should be seen before using this care guide
Proven Symptoms of Teething
Teething has been researched in-depth. Kids who are teething are little different from kids who are not teething. Here are the main symptoms that have been proven:
Drooling. Increased spit and drooling.
Rash. Face rash from drooling. The drool contains little bits of food that are irritating to the skin.
Chewing. Increased need to chew on things.
Gum Pain. Gum pain is mild and not always present. May be due to mouth germs getting into the new break in the gum. Most often, your baby just acts a little more fussy. There’s not enough discomfort to cause crying. It also doesn’t hurt enough to cause sleep problems.
False Symptoms of Teething
Teething does not cause fever, diarrhea, diaper rash or runny nose.
It does not cause a lot of crying.
It does not cause your baby to be more prone to getting sick.
Caution about Fevers. Blaming teething for fevers can lead to a delay in seeking care for infections. Examples are ear and urinary tract infections. Another example is meningitis.
There are 2 reasons why infections start between 6 and 12 months of age. One is the loss of antibodies transferred to baby from the mother at birth. The other is the developmental milestone of chewing on everything.
Caution about Crying. Blaming teething for crying can lead to a delay of care for other illnesses. Examples are ear infections or other causes of pain.
When to Call for Teething
Call Doctor or Seek Care Now
Your child looks or acts very sick
Contact Doctor During Office Hours
You think your child needs to be seen
You have other questions or concerns
Self Care at Home
Normal teething
Seattle Children’s Urgent Care Locations
If your child’s illness or injury is life-threatening, call 911.
Bellevue
Everett
Federal Way
Seattle
Care Advice for Teething
What You Should Know About Teething:
Teething is a natural process.
It’s harmless and it may cause a little gum pain.
The main symptoms of teething are drooling and rubbing the gums.
It does not cause fever or crying. If these are present, look for another cause.
Here is some care advice that should help.
Gum Massage:
Find the irritated or swollen gum.
Rub it with your clean finger for 2 minutes.
Do this as often as needed.
Putting pressure on the sore gum can decrease pain.
Age over 12 months. You can use a piece of ice wrapped in a wet cloth to rub the gum.
Teething Rings (Teethers):
Babies rub their own sore gums by chewing on smooth, hard objects.
Offer a teething ring, pacifier or wet washcloth that has been chilled. Chill these items in the fridge. Do not use items frozen in the freezer.
Age over 12 months. A piece of chilled banana may help.
Do not use hard foods that could cause choking. An example is a raw carrot.
Do not use ice or popsicles that could cause frostbite of the gums.
Avoid “teething necklaces.” They are not approved by the FDA and are not helpful. They also have harmful risks including choking and death.
Cup Feeding:
If your baby refuses nipple feedings, try a cup.
A spoon or syringe can also be used for a short time as needed.
Pain Medicine:
Pain medicines usually are not needed for the mild discomfort of teething.
Fussiness often gets better with gum massage. If not, you can give an acetaminophen product (such as Tylenol). If age over 6 months, another choice is an ibuprofen product (such as Advil). Just do this for one or two days. (Reason: Frequent use can cause liver or kidney damage).
Teething Gels: Do Not Use
You can get special teething gels without a prescription.
Most have benzocaine in them. They are not approved by the FDA at any age.
Reason: Benzocaine can cause choking, bluish skin and allergic reactions. It can be very harmful if used during the first 2 years of life.
Also, teething gels only give brief pain relief.
Gum massage works much better.
What to Expect:
Most often, teething does not cause any symptoms.
If your child is having some discomfort, it should pass in 2 or 3 days.
Call Your Doctor If:
Crying occurs
Fever occurs
You think your child needs to be seen
Your child becomes worse
And remember, contact your doctor if your child develops any of the ‘Call Your Doctor’ symptoms.
Disclaimer: this health information is for educational purposes only. You, the reader, assume full responsibility for how you choose to use it.
Teething is when teeth first come through a baby’s gums. It can be a frustrating time for babies and their parents. Knowing what to expect during teething and how to make it a little less painful can help.
When Does Teething Start?
While teething can begin as early as 3 months, most likely you’ll see the first tooth start pushing through your baby’s gum line when your little one is between 4 and 7 months old.
The first teeth to appear usually are the two bottom front teeth, also known as the central incisors. They’re usually followed 4 to 8 weeks later by the four front upper teeth (central and lateral incisors). About a month later, the lower lateral incisors (the two teeth flanking the bottom front teeth) will appear.
Next to break through are the first molars (the back teeth used for grinding food), then finally the eyeteeth (the pointy teeth in the upper jaw). Most kids have all 20 of their primary teeth by their third birthday. (If your child’s teeth come in much slower than this, speak to your doctor.)
In some rare cases, kids are born with one or two teeth or have a tooth emerge within the first few weeks of life. Unless the teeth interfere with feeding or are loose enough to pose a choking risk, this is usually not a cause for concern.
What Are the Signs of Teething?
As kids begin teething, they might drool more and want to chew on things. For some babies, teething is painless. Others may have brief periods of irritability, while some may seem cranky for weeks, with crying spells and disrupted sleeping and eating patterns. Teething can be uncomfortable, but if your baby seems very fussy, talk to your doctor.
Although tender and swollen gums could cause your baby’s temperature to be a little higher than normal, teething doesn’t usually cause high fever or diarrhea. If your baby does develop a fever during the teething phase, something else is probably causing the fever and you should contact your doctor.
How Can I Make Teething Easier?
Here are some tips to keep in mind when your baby is teething:
Gently wipe your baby’s face often with a cloth to remove the drool and prevent rashes from developing.
Rub your baby’s gums with a clean finger.
Give your baby something to chew on. Make sure it’s big enough that it can’t be swallowed or choked on and that it can’t break into small pieces. A wet washcloth placed in the freezer for 30 minutes makes a handy teething aid. Be sure to take it out of the freezer before it becomes rock hard — you don’t want to bruise those already swollen gums — and be sure to wash it after each use.
Rubber teething rings are also good, but avoid ones with liquid inside because they may break or leak. If you use a teething ring, chill it in the refrigerator, but NOT the freezer. Also, never boil to sterilize it — extreme changes in temperature could cause the plastic to get damaged and leak chemicals.
Teething biscuits and frozen or cold food are only OK for kids who already eat solid foods. Don’t use them if your child has not yet started solids. And make sure to watch your baby to make sure that no pieces break off or pose a choking hazard.
If your baby seems irritable, ask your doctor if it is OK to give a dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen (for babies older than 6 months) to ease discomfort.
Never place an aspirin against the tooth, and don’t rub alcohol on your baby’s gums.
Never tie a teething ring around a baby’s neck or any other body part — it could get caught on something and strangle the baby.
Don’t use teething necklaces made of amber. These can lead to strangulation or choking if pieces break off.
Don’t use teething gels and tablets because they may not be safe for babies.
How Should I Care for My Baby’s Teeth?
The care and cleaning of your baby’s teeth is important for long-term dental health. Even though the first set of teeth will fall out, tooth decay makes them fall out more quickly, leaving gaps before the permanent teeth are ready to come in. The remaining primary teeth may then crowd together to attempt to fill in the gaps, which may cause the permanent teeth to come in crooked and out of place.
Daily dental care should begin even before your baby’s first tooth comes in. Wipe your baby’s gums daily with a clean, damp washcloth or gauze, or brush them gently with a soft, infant-sized toothbrush and water (no toothpaste!).
As soon as the first tooth appears, brush it with water and fluoridated toothpaste, using only a tiny amount.
It’s OK to use a little more toothpaste once a child is old enough to spit it out — usually around age 3. Choose one with fluoride and use only a pea-sized amount or less in younger kids. Don’t let your child swallow the toothpaste or eat it out of the tube because an overdose of fluoride can be harmful to kids.
By the time all your baby’s teeth are in, try to brush them at least twice a day and especially after meals. It’s also important to get kids used to flossing early on. A good time to start flossing is when two teeth start to touch. Talk to your dentist for advice on flossing those tiny teeth. You also can get toddlers interested in the routine by letting them watch and imitate you as you brush and floss.
Another important tip for preventing tooth decay: Don’t let your baby fall asleep with a bottle. The milk or juice can pool in a baby’s mouth and cause tooth decay and plaque.
The American Dental Association (ADA) recommends that kids see a dentist by age 1, or within 6 months after the first tooth appears, to spot any potential problems and advise parents about preventive care.
Reviewed by: Larissa Hirsch, MD
Date reviewed: January 2018
A child at 2-3 months sucks his fist, drooling in bubbles: why is there profuse salivation?
In the human body there are large and small salivary glands, it is thanks to them that the regulation of salivation occurs. If this rather complicated process proceeds normally without deviations, they are able to secrete up to 2. 5 liters of saliva per day. Otherwise, certain disturbances in the functioning of vital systems may be accompanied by salivation – increased secretion of saliva, or in other words, hypersalivation. Also, excessive salivation in a child can be called ptyalism or sialorrhea.
The baby’s hand is always in the mouth, but saliva constantly flows down the chin? The reasons for this can be very different
In the period up to 2 years, children are characterized by excessive functioning of the salivary glands. At this age, this is a physiological feature. The reason may well be cutting milk teeth, which also force the crumbs to suck their own fingers or even fists. When a child drools in large quantities, this often leads to a rash in the mouth area, but it does not need treatment (more in the article: drooling in a month-old baby). It just needs to get through this time. Parents should be more attentive to the appearance of profuse salivation after the child is 2 years old, since various pathological causes can cause it.
Content
1. Droy in the baby and their causes
2. Providing the baby with abundant salivation
3. abundant salivation as a symptom of diseases
4. Hypersalivation
5. Obsions for contacting a doctor
2222 6. Video on the topic of the article
7. Readers’ questions and expert answers
Drooling in infants and their causes
All newborns in the first month are distinguished by the fact that their salivary glands have a fairly low level of secretory activity. It is not common for a one-month-old baby to drool a lot with blisters in general, but there are several factors that can cause excessive salivation:
READ ALSO: Why do babies often stick out their tongue?
Immaturity of the system that regulates salivation. However, by one and a half months, saliva secreted in large quantities will become normal, since it is by this age that the salivary glands begin to work more actively.
Allergic rhinitis or infection of a bacterial or viral nature. Such reasons are quite likely if there are no other symptoms (for example, the first teeth are climbing in the crumbs, and therefore he sucks his fists all the time).
Birth defects. In this case, you should consult a pediatrician.
When a 2-month-old baby drools, it is most often associated with the inability to swallow them – this physiological process naturally occurs only during feeding. During this period of time, the endocrine glands and salivary glands simultaneously begin to function in the baby’s body. As a result, a three-month-old baby can observe constant streams of saliva, but this is natural, and over time he will learn how to properly handle saliva.
READ ALSO: baby’s head sweats while feeding: main causes
Diseases, for example, rhinitis, can become the cause of increased salivation in babies cut first?). It is also accompanied by restless behavior, the child endlessly sucks his fingers, and sometimes the whole fist (see also: what to do if the child sucks his thumb?). The formation of the first teeth begins deep in the gum. Overcoming the way up, they injure the gum tissue, which causes a lot of pain, which is why the child sucks his fist and always puts his fingers in his mouth. Saliva helps soften the gums, thus reducing the pain experienced by the child.
READ ALSO: First Teeth – Overview of Symptoms
After the teeth have erupted, saliva performs important cleaning functions: thanks to its alkali content, it flushes out food residues after feeding and foreign particles that have entered the mouth, due to the fact that baby sucks pens. Thus, they help prevent dental pathologies.
Helping a baby with excessive salivation
The constant flow of saliva in an infant causes discomfort to both the baby and parents. The result of profuse salivation can be not only constantly wet clothes and a bad mood, but also irritation in the chin and chest area (more in the article: irritation from saliva on the chin of a baby). Such a rash, which appears as a result of endlessly flowing saliva, causes far from the most pleasant sensations and additional inconvenience. Plus, a large amount of saliva secreted can provoke a cough in the crumbs.
The use of teethers and special gels for gums will relieve itching in the mouth and soothe the baby.
To minimize all the resulting consequences, proper care, which includes:
The use of bibs. They have been resorting to their help for a very long time, and due to the presence of a lining made of waterproof materials, they perfectly protect the baby’s chest from constant exposure to moisture. It will not be superfluous to include them in the list of things that need to be purchased even before the baby is born.
Purchase of a pacifier. In the modern world, many mothers are trying to give up nipples. However, it can be very useful, because with it it becomes much easier for the baby to swallow saliva.
Purchase of teethers. Such inventions are aimed at reducing itchy gums. At the same time, they perfectly absorb excess saliva. It is important to regularly send them to the wash and rinse well.
Use of face creams containing vitamins A and E. Lubrication of irritated areas with them will reduce discomfort.
Laying the baby on the tummy. Since newborn babies lie on their backs almost all the time, saliva accumulates, as it is difficult for them to flow out of their mouths. Laying the baby on your stomach is a great solution to this problem.
Application of cooling and anesthetic gels. They will relieve itching in the gums, which in turn will lead to a decrease in irritation, and therefore a decrease in saliva.
READ ALSO: why does a 2-month-old baby constantly stick out his tongue?
Despite all the inconvenience associated with excessive salivation, in most cases it is perfectly normal. All children go through this, and parents just need to be patient and, if possible, alleviate the condition of the crumbs.
If you are still concerned about your baby’s continuous salivation that is accompanied by other symptoms, consult your pediatrician. It also describes the measures that can be taken to somehow alleviate his condition:
What worries the child?
probable reasons
Your actions
In the first half a year of life, the baby is irritable, seeks something to bite, chew, pulls any objects in mouth
The process of eruption of milk teeth
Calival a nipple, special rubber rings or just a cold object will help
The baby has a headache, a throat, a stuffy nose, snot flows, he sneezes, coughs, he has a fever, lymph nodes in his neck may have enlarged (we recommend reading: why a newborn sneezes and how to treat it?)
SARS or tonsillitis, sometimes streptococcal
Call a doctor and reduce the temperature with paracetamol in the required dose
Painful ulcers or white spots appeared on the oral mucosa of the crumbs
Stomatitis
Examination by a pediatrician and appropriate treatment . At home, you can rinse your mouth with a solution of soda
In the sitting position, the baby takes deep breaths with an open mouth with the presence of noise, while his chin is lowered. A high temperature rises and the child complains of severe sore throat
Epiglottitis – swelling of the epiglottis. This is a growth that covers the windpipe
Only children over the age of three are affected by this disease. It is necessary to calm the baby and yourself so as not to aggravate the already difficult breathing and call an ambulance
Sudden fall with twitching of the limbs
Convulsions
Immediate call for an ambulance
there are two years, maybe:
a disease that disrupts the functioning of the salivary glands, such as viral sialadenitis;
helminthic infestation;
diseases of the gastrointestinal tract, including pancreatitis and peptic ulcer;
all kinds of deviations in the work of the central nervous system;
nervous stress.
In children over two years of age, drooling may indicate an illness, such as a gastrointestinal problem.
Based on functional tests of the sublingual and parotid salivary glands that are performed to date, only increased salivation can be diagnosed. In the absence of pathologies, the amount of saliva secreted, which ranges from 1 to 4 ml within 20 minutes, is considered within the normal range. When exceeding 10 milliliters, it is believed that a person has such a pathology as hypersalivation. Its false form can manifest itself, for example, as a result of a trauma to the tongue or bulbar palsy.
In any case, whatever the underlying cause of hypersalivation, the underlying disease must be treated. Elimination of the main problem will entail an independent cessation of salivation.
Hypersalivation
If we consider salivation from a physiological point of view, this process assumes the mutual work of the receptors of the periphery and the brain. The point is that when saliva is collected in the mouth, then the command to swallow it is transmitted through the motor pathways to the brain. When the functioning of the reflex sensorimotor arc is disturbed, as a result of a distortion of sensitivity, or in other words, with hypoesthesia, the flow of information from the oral cavity does not reach the brain. This leads to the fact that the number of involuntary swallows during the day decreases, which means that the amount of saliva increases.
In order to restore reflex swallowing, it is necessary to correct the sensorimotor arc. In order to overcome this problem, you need to try to create conditions under which the brain will again receive sufficient information.
Only a doctor can choose a treatment method for complicated salivation, the main thing is not to let everything take its course, the disease will not go away by itself
Cryotherapy is considered the most effective way to combat hypersalivation. The bottom line is to hold an ice stick on the tongue of the crumbs. Naturally, this approach does not give 100% guarantees, but if salivation does not stop completely, then at least it is significantly reduced. Cryotherapy does not work instantly, but requires endurance and perseverance, but it is less painful than surgery and dental correction.
Reasons to see a doctor
If up to two years of age, increased salivation in children is a physiological norm, then after this age limit, this problem requires the help of specialists. The consultation will clarify whether such a situation is temporary and normal from the point of view of physiology, or, on the contrary, pathological, and one cannot do without medical intervention.
In the case of true hypersalivation, drugs are prescribed that have an anticholinergic effect. These include:
Spasmolytin;
Atropine;
Tifen;
Diprofen and others.
Taking these drugs has a number of side effects that can be an order of magnitude more serious than excessive salivation. Surgery and radiation are also dangerous with abnormalities such as caries or facial asymmetry. Any decisions regarding the treatment of the problem should be made deliberately, choosing methods based on their appropriateness and individual characteristics.
Excessive salivation can provoke dysarthria in an older child – a violation of pronunciation. Speech becomes slurred and unintelligible. This, in turn, slows down the pace of development, which negatively affects its socialization. In such cases, a qualified speech therapy massage may be needed. During this period, the baby should drink more water in order to restore fluid losses in the body. Whatever leads to the problem of salivation, it is important not to let it take its course.
READ ALSO: dysarthria in children
Pediatrician of the 2nd category, allergist-immunologist, graduated from the Belarusian State Medical University of the Federal Agency for Health and Social Development. Read more »
Why a child is drooling –
Contents
Why a child is drooling
In what cases medical attention is required
However, there are pathological conditions that are not physiological and require medical attention.
Pathology of the oral mucosa: eg thrush, stomatitis; viral diseases that affect the salivary glands themselves (viral sialadenitis), the so-called false hypersalivation, when the amount of saliva remains normal, and leakage occurs due to the pain syndrome associated with the above conditions.
Pathology of the nervous system (cerebral palsy, brain tumors, encephalitis, pseudobulbar syndrome (damage to the cranial nerves), etc.).
Problems in the gastrointestinal tract (gastritis, enteritis, etc.).
Worm infestations.
Poisoning by poisons, barbiturates, mercury, lead, etc.
What to do if the child is drooling heavily
The main thing is to recognize whether excessive salivation is a signal of a dangerous illness. This will be helped by a pediatrician who, if necessary, will refer the child to a narrow profile doctor to clarify the diagnosis and correct treatment.
If increased salivation is due to the imminent appearance of teeth, then the following can be recommended to the mother of the child:
Put bibs on the baby that do not get wet and protect the baby’s skin from hypothermia during a walk.
In case of skin lesions due to prolonged contact with saliva, lubricate the affected areas with dexpanthenol ointment or creams that contain retinol and vitamin E.
Offer cool teethers to the baby. They will temporarily relieve itching. You can also use anesthetic gels.
Make sure that objects put into the child’s mouth are clean and cannot be swallowed.
Photo: Shutterstock.com
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Why does a 3 month old baby drool?
Quite often, babies aged 2-3 months have increased salivation, because of which the mother has to change clothes several times a day. At first, this problem does not cause much concern, but in the future, the chin may become inflamed in the baby, which will cause him pain and irritation. The child begins to act up, worry, may not sleep well.
All this makes parents go to the pediatrician with the question why the child drools heavily at 3 months. In this article, we will look at the main causes that cause profuse salivation in babies of this age.
Why does a 3 month old baby drool?
Babies may have several causes for excessive salivation. Let’s consider the main ones:
The main reason why a three-month-old baby may experience abundant salivation is preparation for teething. It would seem that the first teeth in babies usually appear around 6 months, and there is still too much time before that. The baby’s gums are not swollen, and in general there are no signs of dentition in the mouth. However, teething can disturb a child from 2 months of age. At the same time, the baby will experience a lot of unpleasant sensations associated with their movement in the gums, and you will not notice anything for a long time, except for abundant saliva on his face.
In some babies, especially premature babies, the salivary glands are not yet fully developed. In this case, they may produce more saliva than the child can swallow.
One of the most unpleasant causes of excessive salivation is stomatitis. Saliva is a kind of natural barrier against microbes, therefore, in the presence of a disease of the oral cavity, it is produced more than usual.
Finally, in rare cases, increased secretion of the salivary glands indicates the presence of serious diseases of the brain or nervous system, such as cerebral palsy or encephalitis. Of course, in this case, abundant saliva will not be the only sign of the disease, and an experienced doctor will be able to immediately determine that something is wrong with the child.
Why a child drools a lot and what to do about it
Publication date: 09/18/2018
Saliva is a clear liquid produced by the salivary glands in the mouth. Since the newborn has not yet fully developed the function of swallowing, the mother can watch her baby salivate during sleep. Saliva aids digestion and flushes out bacteria and food debris from the mouth. Salivation is a normal process for babies in the first two years of life, but what if the child is constantly drooling? What are the causes of excessive salivation in older children? Let’s hear the opinion of experts.
Saliva secretion and stages of its formation
Every day our body produces from 1 to 2 liters of saliva, which we swallow without noticing. It is another matter with babies: they have an involuntary flow of salivary fluid, and children cannot yet control this condition. Drooling usually continues until the baby is 18 to 24 months old. The process is very common during teething, so moms and dads should be prepared for the fact that the baby will have saliva everywhere: on clothes, things, toys.
When a small child drools like a river, this is normal and is considered a sign of the physical development of the baby:
This happens frequently at 1-3 months, especially when the baby is in a supported sitting or lying position.
At 6 months, parents notice that salivation increases (due to the appearance of the first teeth) when the son or daughter reaches for toys or mumbles.
B 9months, the baby is already crawling, salivation is reduced, but teething can still stimulate salivation.
By 15 months, the baby will already be walking and running, and saliva is almost invisible. However, fine motor activities that require concentration can lead to involuntary saliva flow.
At 18 months, the baby no longer drools, but this occasionally happens when dressing and playing.
At 24 months salivation is minimal.
What role does saliva play in a child’s body
A baby’s drooling and blisters show that your baby is going through a new stage of growth. Saliva itself contains beneficial enzymes that help digest semi-solid and solid foods, which is especially important for a 4-6 month old baby. Saliva neutralizes stomach acid and promotes the formation of the internal mucosa. It wraps the food and makes it easier to swallow.
Causes of excessive salivation in children
Parents, of course, are worried when a child drools like a river. Why is this happening? We list the main reasons:
Teething. Although the baby does not yet see teeth until 6-8 months, the process itself begins very early. That’s why around 3 months of age, a baby’s saliva is overproduced: the teeth begin to break through the gums.
Mouth open. An infant may keep his mouth open for quite a long time due to a blocked nose or habit. In this regard, he may not swallow saliva, which leads to increased salivation.
Concentration of attention. The little explorer does not swallow saliva because he is concentrating on some task or interesting subject. Here is the oral fluid and follows.
Nutrition. Unusually sour food often provokes salivation in a baby.
Neurological disorders. Neuritis of the facial nerve (Bell’s palsy), infantile cerebral palsy, autism, Down’s syndrome are diseases manifested, among other things, by excessive salivation in children.
Side effects of medicines. Some drugs cause an increase in the muscle tone of the lips, which leads to an excess of saliva.
Toxic exposure, including mercury vapours, insect bites.
Should the child be treated?
Salivation does not require any treatment as it is a normal part of growing up. Medical care is needed for those children who are no longer babies: they are older than 4 years old, and saliva still flows like a river, and it is not possible to keep clothes dry without a bib.
At the appointment, the doctor will definitely check:
Whether the child closes his lips and rolls his tongue correctly.
Does he swallow normally, are there any hoarseness and pathologies in the esophagus (tumors, swollen tonsils).
Whether breathing is free through the nose.
Does the child have a natural swallowing reflex.
Whether the jaws function correctly and their position.
Presence of allergies.
A child’s lower lip, chin, cheeks, and neck may develop irritation and a rash due to the constant flow of saliva from the mouth. Try to immediately blot these sensitive areas of the skin, dry with a clean soft towel, and apply a cream (based on lanolin, coconut oil) or Vaseline, aloe vera gel. Be sure to use a bib so that saliva does not penetrate the baby’s neck and chest.
If the baby is sick, treat a runny nose in a timely manner so that the nose breathes well and does not allow saliva to collect in the mouth during sleep. The child may wake up choking on excess saliva. Keep track of how your child sleeps, whether he is comfortable in the crib.
We hope that this article will help you learn more about the problem and help you understand when to see a specialist if salivation does not stop.
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Teething
3 December 2016
Teething
When your baby begins to chew everything that is tucked under his arm, and saliva flows from his mouth, it is not difficult to guess that the period of teething has come.
Teeth start to squeeze through the gums when your baby is about six months old. At the same time, the gums become red and sensitive, and some children become moody and irritated with each new tooth erupting.
This process continues until all twenty teeth have erupted, which usually occurs around the age of two and a half years. Here’s what you can do to help your child cope with the discomfort that comes from teething.
Rub gums . If you just rub your baby’s gums with your finger, he may feel better. And if you rub your gums with a small gauze pad, it will not only help relieve the pain of teething, but it will also clean your baby’s mouth and get him used to the feeling of brushing his teeth.
Comfort and reassure him . Sometimes tenderness and caress can reduce discomfort and improve the baby’s well-being during teething. You only need to caress your baby, rock him or walk with him and he will feel better.
Wipe drool . Drooling from the mouth always accompanies teething, and clothing that becomes wet with drool can cause a rash, especially on the neck and upper chest. To prevent this, change your baby’s clothes more often or wear a cloth bib.
When to see a doctor . Teething can make a baby feel sick, but it usually doesn’t require medical attention. Here are the normal teething symptoms:
baby makes chewing movements;
he is naughty;
drooling from the mouth;
he is crying;
he has red, swollen gums.
When teething, the temperature usually does not rise, as well as there is no nausea, diarrhea, loss of appetite. If your baby has these symptoms, they are most likely caused by something else. Check with your pediatrician.
Why my baby is drooling – Rambler/female
Drooling is a fairly common condition in children under two years of age. But when saliva is produced in too much quantity, it can cause concern for parents.
Roza Serdyuk, chief physician of Okdoctor, a remote telemedicine consultation service, told Letidor when salivation is considered normal and when it can be a symptom of a disease.
Why saliva is needed
Saliva is a clear, colorless liquid that is produced into the oral cavity by the salivary glands.
Its functions are quite diverse:
Participates in the initial stages of food processing: under the action of enzymes, gradual digestion of fats begins, enveloping food fragments, which facilitates the further movement of the food bolus through the digestive tract. Thanks to saliva, we can feel the taste of food, we have an appetite.
Protects – the substances contained in it prevent the excessive growth of pathogens; protects tooth enamel from the aggressive influence of acids and alkalis.
Contains substances that have an analgesic effect, which is important when teeth appear in babies.
Regulates the self-cleaning mechanisms of the mouth and teeth, washing them from food particles and bacteria.
Participates in the formation of speech.
What is considered normal
Hypersalivation, scientifically called increased salivation, is characterized by increased secretion of the salivary glands, as a result of which the child produces too much saliva.
The salivary glands of a baby begin their work in the womb. Their active functioning occurs closer to two months.
In children 3-4 months of age, saliva often flows from the mouth. This is due to immaturity in the control of salivation and ingestion of saliva (physiological salivation). At this age, the child tries to pull all objects into the mouth, thus recognizing the environment. Often, toys are not sterile, and microbes that enter the body begin to attack it.
In response to such an “invasion”, the active work of the salivary glands begins, which indicates the correct functioning of the immune system.
When a child has a runny nose and has to breathe through his mouth, the work of his internal organs instantly changes. So that when air is inhaled, the mucosa does not dry out, the salivary glands begin to actively produce their secret, which helps to humidify the inhaled air and disinfect it.
There are also cases when a child chokes on saliva and coughs when breathing through the mouth, as they are unable to breathe and swallow the accumulated liquid at the same time.
For children under two years of age, this condition is considered physiological, it is associated with the appearance of teeth.
When medical attention is required
However, there are pathological conditions that are not physiological and require medical attention.
Oral mucosal pathology: eg thrush, stomatitis; viral diseases that affect the salivary glands themselves (viral sialadenitis), the so-called false hypersalivation, when the amount of saliva remains normal, and leakage occurs due to the pain syndrome associated with the above conditions.
Pathology of the nervous system (cerebral palsy, brain tumors, encephalitis, pseudobulbar syndrome (damage to the cranial nerves), etc.).
Problems of the gastrointestinal tract (gastritis, enteritis, etc.).
Worm infestations.
Poisoning by poisons, barbiturates, mercury, lead, etc.
What to do if a child is drooling heavily
The main thing is to recognize whether excessive salivation is a signal of a dangerous illness. This will be helped by a pediatrician who, if necessary, will refer the child to a narrow profile doctor to clarify the diagnosis and correct treatment.
If increased salivation is due to the imminent appearance of teeth, then the following can be recommended to the mother of the child:
Put bibs on the baby that do not get wet and protect the baby’s skin from hypothermia during a walk.
In case of skin lesions due to prolonged contact with saliva, lubricate the affected areas with dexpanthenol ointment or creams that contain retinol and vitamin E.
Offer cool teethers to the baby. They will temporarily relieve itching. You can also use anesthetic gels.
Make sure that objects put into the child’s mouth are clean and cannot be swallowed.
Increased salivation or hypersalivation: symptoms of hypersalivation
Sometimes there may be increased salivation, which is not related to food intake. Such a symptom should be treated with increased attention, since excessive salivation may indicate the presence of problems in the body.
Excessive salivation or hypersalivation can cause a lot of discomfort. How to understand that saliva is secreted too much? Increased swallowing of saliva or the feeling that there is a large amount of fluid in the oral cavity indicates a possible hypersalivation. In the case when, in addition to these symptoms, nausea, heartburn and sore throat are observed, you need to consult a specialist. Also, a change in the smell and color of saliva can become a symptom.
Abundant production of saliva is normal in the following cases:
eruption of milk teeth;
hormonal disruptions in the body associated with age-related changes;
period of pregnancy;
presence of prostheses in the oral cavity;
installed braces;
eating.
Symptoms of hypersalivation
Most often, increased salivation caused by some disease is accompanied by other symptoms:
fever;
general malaise;
nausea;
heartburn;
pain when swallowing food;
taste changes.
The main factors causing excessive saliva production include:
intoxication of the body;
gastritis, gastric ulcer;
worms;
angina;
CNS pathology;
vascular diseases;
diseases of the thyroid gland;
infections in the body;
extraction of teeth;
wearing dentures or braces;
menopause;
frequent stress;
bad habits.
In adolescence, hypersalivation may be associated with such phenomena as:
hormonal disruptions in the body;
malocclusion;
abnormal functioning of the kidneys;
diseases of the gastrointestinal tract;
psychological trauma;
heart diseases.
Toxicosis during pregnancy also provokes increased salivation.
In old age, such a problem may arise for the following reasons:
endocrine disorders;
malocclusion;
side effect after taking medication.
The specialist will be able to determine the reason for the problem. In the process of diagnosis, such studies are carried out as: examination, history taking and identification of hereditary predisposition. After the examination, if necessary, the specialist will refer the patient for tests or for a consultation with another specialist.
Treatment depends on the provoking factor, and, accordingly, therapy is primarily aimed at eliminating the cause of increased salivation. As a rule, the following methods are used:
sanitation of the oral cavity;
LFC;
cryotherapy;
special medications that reduce increased salivary secretion;
removal of salivary glands.
Excessive salivation may indicate a serious problem with the body. Ignoring such symptoms can lead to a number of complications:
dehydration;
respiratory infections;
jade;
problems in the digestive system;
insomnia, disturbance of psycho-emotional state.
In order to minimize the risk of developing pathology, general preventive measures should be observed:
good oral hygiene;
visits to a dentist every six months;
systematic professional cleaning of teeth and gums;
healthy diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables;
active lifestyle;
giving up bad habits.
Why does a cat drool from the mouth – why does a cat drool
Increased salivation can be a symptom of the disease.
Not as common, but some cat owners may notice excessive salivation in their pets. What can this be about?
There is nothing pathological in the salivation of the animal. This fluid performs a number of important functions for the normal life support of the animal. Including protective – protection of the mucous membranes of the mouth, gums, tongue and teeth from mechanical influences of various origins, digestive – supply, softening and ensuring facilitated transport of food into the digestive tract. So salivation in a cat is a natural process, and many owners do not even notice it. But what if the salivation is so abundant that the pet owner began to pay attention to it?
What are the signs of excessive salivation? If the owner began to notice that the cat licks itself too often and diligently, and the chin and neck are wet, and the hair on the chest is wet and looks like icicles, this is an alarm signal. It is worth paying close attention to the behavior of the cat: if the pet wipes himself on the furniture, wet spots or puddles are found in the place where the cat sleeps, you should immediately take action.
If salivation, or salivation, is too profuse, this may only indicate problems with the health of the pet. The cause of this process can be various disorders. So, for example, infection with various viral diseases (for example, rabies) may be the basis, which, among other things, are accompanied by increased body temperature and abundant water consumption by the pet, nausea.
Another reason may be poisoning of various origins, from food to chemical. It is important in this case to determine what exactly this reaction was received, accompanied by vomiting, a change in the consistency of the stool.
Also, diseases of the oral cavity, teeth, and gums can be the cause of increased salivation. These disorders will be accompanied, among other things, by obvious pain when the animal eats.
Excessive salivation can also be caused by foreign objects in the mouth, throat or esophagus (food debris, parts of toys, hair). Chronic diseases, digestive tract disorders, oncological diseases, and even helminths can cause increased salivation.
Don’t jump to conclusions on your own. In itself, profuse salivation is not a disease, but in combination with other symptoms indicates the presence of a certain disease, which can only be ascertained by a veterinarian after conducting and deciphering special tests. It remains for the owner to seek help from a specialist in a timely manner and, taking into account the instructions of the veterinarian, begin treating the pet.
10 drooling facts about baby saliva
When you have an infant, you may have to deal with a lot of cleaning. Babies burp, blow out diapers, and drool. Blowing bubbles is adorable, but you might be worried if your little one is constantly soaking his shirt with saliva. How much is too much, and should you be concerned about excessive salivation?
1. Humans produce 2 to 4 liters of saliva every day The human body produces 2 to 4 liters of saliva every day. Saliva is essential to keep your baby’s mouth moist. It aids in swallowing and removes leftover breast milk, formula, or food. Saliva helps keep your mouth healthy.
2. Salivation begins between 3 and 6 months of age Newborns have little saliva. Their digestive system doesn’t need much help from saliva enzymes until they start eating solid food. The body starts preparing them for this between 3 and 6 months of age. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents begin offering solid foods to babies at six months of age.
3. Infants cannot swallow as well as adults Babies lack the muscle development and coordination needed to swallow all saliva. When their bodies start producing more, they don’t know how to deal with it. There seems to be more saliva coming out of their mouth than inside.
4. Salivation comes with milestones You may notice that your baby is drooling more around the same time he has mastered other milestones like putting his hands in his mouth. Saliva becomes a new sensory experience to explore and play. Babies will use their hands to feel drool and cook raspberries to explore the sensations on their lips.
5. Drooling may mean your baby is teething. You may notice saliva coming out of your baby’s mouth when they are teething. The sensations that occur during teething stimulate salivation. However, just because your three-month-old baby is drooling doesn’t mean you’ll soon see a tooth come out. The first tooth usually appears around 6 months of age.
Causes, stages of development and treatment
Last updated
When saliva comes out of the mouth unintentionally, it is called salivation. We have six salivary glands that produce saliva for us, and when excess saliva is produced, we tend to drool. Drooling is a common occurrence in babies. Babies begin to salivate at about 3 months of age. Some babies salivate a little, others a lot. If you see your child drooling excessively, it may be due to underdeveloped muscles in the mouth or due to excessive salivation in the mouth. But there is nothing to worry about, since salivation is part of his physical development.
Video: Is drooling in babies normal?
How often do babies drool?
Babies usually drool, and babies may drool in their first two years of life. Since the baby does not have full control over swallowing and mouth muscles, he may drool even in his sleep. If your baby has started to drool, you can expect the condition to continue until he is 18-24 months old. Drooling is quite common during teething, so be prepared to change your baby’s clothes about 5-6 times a day. Babies often drool. But if a child drools even after the age of four, then this is not normal.
Salivation in infants 1 to 24 months
Salivation in infants is normal and may even help with their development. At different stages of life and as a child grows, there may be slight to excessive salivation.
1. 1-3 months
When a baby is 1 to 3 months old, he may not drool at all. Drooling at this time is rare, as the baby is always in the face-up position. So he may not drool at this time, or even after that. But some babies may start to drool by 3 months of age.
2. 6 months
Drooling is a little more controlled by this time, but it continues when the baby babbles or puts toys in its mouth. Babies are usually teething by this time, so they drool.
3.9 months
At this stage, babies begin to roll over and crawl. They may continue to drool as they are still teething. Teething can stimulate salivation.
4. 15 months
By 15 months, most babies walk and run, but they cannot drool while walking or running. However, if they are engaged in activities or tasks that require concentration, they may drool.
5. 18 months
Babies will not drool while doing normal activities or activities that promote fine motor skills. But they may drool while being fed or dressed.
6. 24 months
By this time, salivation in babies is minimal. It is practically non-existent.
Does saliva play an important role in a child’s development?
Yes, salivation does play an important role in the growth and development of a child. Salivation is a sign of teething in a child. Drooling and blowing soap bubbles are also a sign of the physical development of babies. If your baby is drooling or blowing bubbles, then this is a sign that he has entered a new period of growth. If your child is drooling after the smell of milk or food, you should know that his sense of smell is growing. Drool contains enzymes that help baby digest semi-solid or solid foods between 4 and 6 months of age. Saliva neutralizes stomach acid, aids in the full development of the baby’s intestinal mucosa, and protects the esophageal mucosa from irritation. Saliva also helps bind food because of its smoothness, which makes it easier to swallow.
What is excessive salivation in babies?
When there is an involuntary secretion of saliva from the mouth of a child after he has reached the normal age of salivation, this can be called excessive salivation. If your little one has a lot of drool after they turn 2 years old, you should check with your doctor. Although often associated with excessive salivation, excessive salivation is due to poor coordination between the mouth and tongue. This lack of coordination can lead to poor swallowing.
What are the causes of excessive salivation in babies?
Excessive salivation in infants and toddlers is caused by the following:
1. Teething
Although babies do not have a tooth by 6-8 months, teething begins quite early. This is the reason that saliva flows already at 3 months of age. When the teething phase begins, there is excess saliva production and they may salivate excessively as the tooth pushes through the gums.
2. Open mouth posture
If a child has a habit of keeping his mouth open for a long period of time, he may drool. If your baby keeps his mouth open for a long time due to a stuffy nose or just out of habit, then he may not swallow saliva at regular intervals and therefore may drool.
3. Maintain concentration for a long time
When babies and young children concentrate on a particular task, their mind is stimulated. When stimulated, saliva production increases six times. In infancy, their ability to swallow excess saliva is insufficient. And when they focus on a task, their attention is diverted from their mouth position and tongue movements, leading to drooling.
4. Food
The secretion of saliva from the glands in the mouth occurs in response to taste sensations when eating a variety of foods. Eating acidic or spicy foods leads to excessive salivation. If your child eats spicy foods or fruits such as oranges, limes, grapes, he may have excessive salivation.
5. Neurological disorders
Many neurological disorders, such as Bell’s palsy and cerebral palsy, present with symptoms such as drooling and excessive salivation. Bell’s palsy is a temporary nerve disorder that affects one part of the face. Diseases that affect the brain, such as cerebral palsy, Bell’s palsy, and Wilson’s disease, affect muscle control, which causes difficulty in swallowing, accumulation of saliva in the mouth, and misalignment of the lips, which can lead to drooling.
6. Side effects of medications
Some medications, including medications used to help sleep and relieve pain, and medications used to test vision in babies or even mothers of breastfed babies, can cause increased production of saliva. Heavy metal poisoning can also cause hypersalivation, which can make babies salivate.
Treating Salivation
Salivation in infants is normal and salivation is an important part of infants’ physical development and maturation. However, it is not normal for them to drool when they are 2 years old. If your baby is drooling even after two years, don’t take it lightly. You should consult your doctor as this requires medical attention. If your child is drooling heavily, see a doctor immediately as it may affect his social life and his daily activities. If your baby has a lot of drool, the doctor will look for the following signs to come to a conclusion and suggest treatment for it.
• If your child can properly purse his lips and move his tongue. • If your child swallows normally. • If he has a stuffy or stuffy nose. • If the child has a natural swallowing reflex. • The posture of the child and the firmness of his jaw.
After these scores, the following processing line is followed:
• Helps the child practice the closed lip stance. • Reducing acidic foods in children’s diets. • Work on the child’s ability to swallow. • Face lifting. • Improving oral sense perception to help your child recognize when their mouth or face is wet. • Oral motor therapy to strengthen his jaw, cheeks and lips. This therapy will help him swallow saliva properly.
What is a salivary rash?
The baby’s lower lips, cheeks, neck, and chest may show signs of skin irritation due to the constant flow of saliva through the mouth. red uneven rashes in these areas. If a rash from salivation appears around a child’s mouth, it is called drooling. To treat a salivary rash, you need to thoroughly wash the affected area, pat it dry and apply a lanolin-based cream. You can tie a bib around your baby’s neck to keep saliva out of the neck and chest. You can even apply petroleum jelly to the affected area to keep it hydrated and heal quickly. However, check with your doctor before applying creams or lotions to your baby’s skin.
When to see a doctor
You should consult a doctor if your child is drooling even after four years of age. Uncontrolled salivation caused by diseases can be eliminated by contacting a pediatrician. Talk to your child’s doctor – they may recommend therapy or medication. However, if therapy or medication fails to provide relief, you should consider a higher level of treatment.
Salivation is a natural way to help your baby moisten and soften solid foods and make them easier to swallow. Although it performs many important functions for a child, watch carefully if salivation increases and does not show signs of stopping after the age of four. Seek medical attention to address the problem before it gets worse.
Also read: oral thrush in babies
Baby drool at 2 months? Here’s what you need to know!
Your precious child is growing so fast – it seems like he will change in the blink of an eye!
Despite all these changes, some of them may bother you, especially if you are a first-time parent.
For example, does your baby drool at two months? In this article, we’ll tell you everything you need to know about your drooling two-month-old!
What to know when your baby starts salivating at two months
It’s OK!
The baby starts to drool at the age of two or three months.
Why is this happening?
Infants cannot fully control the muscles that control swallowing until 18-24 months of age. In addition, the average person produces two to four pints of saliva per day!
Not being able to swallow saliva, expect your child to salivate for a long time to come!
Is your baby healthy?
Is your baby drooling at two months? Drooling is actually a positive indicator that your baby’s digestive system is developing well.
For example, saliva helps break down food before it reaches the stomach. In addition, saliva destroys bacteria and cleans the mouth, preventing your child from getting sick.
Therefore, if your child is salivating excessively, it means that his digestive system is working properly!
This is not a sign of teething
Many people think that salivation is a sign of teething. However, there is no direct correlation between them. In fact, these two events occur at the same time.
When your child begins to develop fine motor skills such as chewing, receptors send signals to the brain that trigger saliva production. So when your baby is ready to start eating solid food, he will start to drool more!
So salivation is not a direct sign of teething. However, it is likely that both events will occur at about the same time.
What if saliva causes irritation?
In some cases, saliva can cause irritation around the mouth, such as a rash or dry skin.
If this happens to your child, try to gently wipe off the saliva so that it does not linger on the child’s face for too long. Alternatively, you may consider applying an ointment to the affected area at night.
After all, there is nothing you can do to prevent your child from salivating. After all, it is a natural and healthy part of a child’s development!
Autism and drooling: why so often? What helps?
Our 3 year old was recently diagnosed with autism. He has made progress and is now talking, asking and labeling. But he drools all the time, and we have to constantly wipe his face. How can we help him not to drool?
Today’s “any questions?” The answer came from behavioral analyst Cara Reagon, Autism Speaks’ associate director of science dissemination.
Editor’s note: The following information is not intended for diagnosis or treatment and should not replace personal consultation, if necessary, with a qualified healthcare professional.
Everyone is drooling – at least to begin with. Typically, developing babies begin to control their swallowing and mouth muscles between 18 and 24 months of age. But children with developmental disabilities often drool excessively and for longer than other children. This includes children with autism, many of whom have delays and difficulties with muscle control and sensation.
What causes excessive salivation? Salivation is usually associated with low muscle tone, lack of sensation around the lips and face, difficulty swallowing and/or excessive salivation. Various neurological disorders and attention deficits can contribute to these problems, as is common in children and sometimes in adults with autism.
You are right to be worried. Drooling becomes a social stigma when it continues beyond infancy. It’s also unhygienic – an important issue since your son attends group activities such as preschool.
However, drooling in some situations, such as during sleep, is usually harmless, unless it is so strong that your child inhales the saliva.
So let’s focus on your son’s tendency to drool throughout the day.
Examination and Treatment Options First, it is important to discuss your son’s salivation with his pediatrician or pediatric ear, nose, and throat specialist in order to eliminate or rule out serious comorbidities. Most likely, this will involve examining the tonsils, sinuses, and salivary glands. In addition, some medications can increase salivation—another issue to discuss with your son’s doctor. In addition, the doctor should evaluate whether your son’s salivation is causing him to inhale saliva into his lungs, which puts him at risk for pneumonia.
Treatment options should be tailored to your son’s needs and may require additional evaluation, such as by a speech or occupational therapist experienced in oral sensitivity and muscle tone issues.
Speech and occupational therapists can help your son improve oral muscle tone, close his lips, and improve swallowing. In some cases, the therapist may recommend a dental appliance or chin cup to help close lips, position tongue, and swallow.
It can also help reduce the amount of acidic foods your son eats, as they can cause excessive salivation. But it’s important to check with a nutritionist before making any major changes to your son’s diet, especially if he’s already a picky eater.
Goals of therapy Salivation can usually be managed with occupational and/or speech therapy that focuses on the following:
1. Develop correct posture and posture Sometimes poor control of the muscles of the trunk, neck and head causes the head to tilt downward. In this position, saliva tends to accumulate at the front of the mouth and flow out of the parted lips. Your therapist can help you position your child for proper trunk control and head support.
2. Increasing the strength and control of the muscles of the oral cavity. Therapists use a variety of oral-motor play exercises to help children tone the muscles around their mouths. closed lips, such as “p”, “b” and “m”. The therapist will show you how to continue doing these exercises at home, with a lot of encouragement in the form of praise and/or a small reward.
3. Increased oral sensitivity. Similarly, therapists have a variety of tactile exercises that can help your child develop sensitivity to the lips, tongue, mouth, and chin. This includes understanding what dryness and wetness are, so that your child knows when he or she is drooling. . Mouth sensitivity play exercises can include blowing soap bubbles, making exaggerated sounds that affect the lips, such as “ooooh”, “eeee” and “pooh-pooh-pooh”. The therapist will again tell you how to do these exercises at home.
4. Practice proper chewing and swallowing. Does your child drool excessively while eating? In this case, you and the therapist can work with your child to learn how to chew and swallow properly. These exercises are useful when your child is hungry enough to eat, but not hungry. In general, the therapist will show you how to simulate or exaggerate appropriate chewing movements (closing teeth and then lips, etc.) and encourage your child to do the same. It is better to give your son a hand mirror so that he can watch him perform these actions. As always, do not forget to encourage and praise, for example:
.
“Great. You’re chewing on a cracker. Great, you swallowed a cracker! Good food.”
5. Practice wiping with a tissue or handkerchief. While your child is learning to be aware of facial wetness, it is important to encourage the socially acceptable practice of wiping with a tissue or handkerchief. While eating, I suggest teaching him the habit of “wipe, wipe, swallow” – wipe one side of the mouth and then the other before swallowing. Try attaching a napkin to your bracelet while eating to develop this habit.
You mentioned that your son is constantly drooling. So you’ll also want to teach him the habit of wiping with a handkerchief when he’s not at the dinner table. This includes helping him learn how to keep a clean handkerchief handy in his pocket. Another option is to ask your son to wear sweat bands around his wrists and advise him to regularly wipe each side of his face with them.
From the dinner table and away, you’ll want to signal your child—perhaps by wiping your mouth—when you see him drooling.
6. Add everything together with the rewards. Be sure to create a reward system to reinforce every step your child takes in chewing, swallowing, wiping, and most importantly, keeping the face clean and dry. At age 3, you might want to keep it simple – with lots of praise and little rewards. But your son may be old enough to use the token system, which involves earning bigger rewards like doing something you love to do.
One of my favorite resources is How to Stop Drooling by speech pathologist Pam Marshall. Find out more about her book on her website here.
Readers: Have more questions for our behavioral and health experts? Send them to [email protected] .
Does your child salivate normally or excessively?
Parents often wonder if it is normal for their child to drool. You may notice that your child’s toys are covered in saliva after playing, or you may notice a wet shirt collar during the day. The short answer is
to the question “i s drooling normally?” is “ sometimes “. At certain points in your baby’s development, drooling is quite typical. At other stages of its development, this is atypical and further intervention may be required.
Salivation stages:
According to Morris & Klein in Pre-Feeding Skills, Second Edition , as your child develops, the following salivation stages can be expected:
One to three months : Between one and three months of age, drooling is rare when your baby is in the supine or reclining (lying face up) position, although some drooling may occur when the baby is lying or sitting position with support.
Six months : By six months, salivation becomes more controlled when the child is lying on his back, lying on his stomach or sitting. You may notice drooling when your baby babbles or plays with his hands, points, or reaches for objects. Drooling can also occur during baby teething or in response to eating certain foods.
Nine months : By nine months, salivation rarely occurs during major physical activity such as crawling or rolling. You may still notice salivation during teething.
Fifteen months : By fifteen months of age, salivation rarely occurs during major motor activities such as walking and running, although you may notice some salivation during fine motor activities such as stacking blocks or manipulating objects. It can also continue with teething.
Eighteen months : By eighteen months, your baby no longer drools when doing fine motor skills. Salivation may occur during feeding, dressing, playing, or teething.
Twenty-four months : By twenty-four months salivation is minimal.
Why babies drool:
Saliva performs many necessary functions. It helps bind food while eating, which is important for safe swallowing. Saliva also aids in the digestion of food and helps keep the mouth clean. In a typical child, the unnecessary loss of saliva stops at about 4 years of age. For other children, however, it may be excessive.
According to Morris & Klein in Pre-Feeding Skills, Second Edition , the following possible causes of excessive salivation may include:
Teething that produces more saliva.
Poor oral sensory awareness resulting in decreased likelihood of swallowing. If your baby’s face is constantly wet, he may be less responsive to sensory cues that tell him to swallow.
Permanent open-mouth posture that prevents saliva accumulation and induces swallowing when necessary.
Difficulty swallowing effectively, which may be due to poor head and trunk control, poor jaw stability, or increased or decreased muscle tone of the lips.
Response to certain products.
Response to motor activity requiring balance.
Possible side effect of certain medicines.
How to help a child who drools a lot:
If you are concerned about the frequency and amount of salivation, seek help from a licensed speech therapist, feeding therapist, or occupational therapist. A therapist can help you determine the root cause of salivation and specific interventions.
Therapeutic interventions may include the following:
Sensory enhancement to help your child better understand when their face or mouth is wet.
Improved head and trunk control for better control of effective swallowing.
Improved oral-motor control (i.e. lips, cheeks, jaw) for better saliva control and efficient swallowing.
Helps the child to assume the closed mouth position.
Improving the child’s ability to swallow.
Teach your child about wet and dry.
Working with a licensed professional, you can remove any insecurities you may have and find answers to your questions. Most importantly, your child will get the help they need to better control how much they drool.
Sources:
Morris and Klein. (2000). Prefeeding Skills Second Edition . Austin, TX: Pro-Ed.
NSPT offers service to Bucktown, Evanston, Deerfield, Lincolnwood, Glenview, Lake Bluff, Des Plaines, Hinsdale and Mekvon! If you have any questions or concerns about your child, we’d love to help! Call us at (877) 486-4140!
Why do some children drool excessively and what it can mean
There are many reasons why your child may be drooling more than usual, some more serious than others.Here’s what parents need to know.
Babies start salivating at 3 months as the body produces more saliva in preparation for solid foods. Because of their underdeveloped oral motor function, they cannot coordinate their muscles to swallow all of their saliva, and so much of it ends up on their clothes. For babies, this is normal and necessary. This shows that their digestive system is developing. Light salivation is normal, but how much salivation is too much? Keep reading to find out what your child’s excessive salivation means.
Signs of excessive salivation
Via Flickr
Salivary glands produce 2 to 4 liters of saliva per day; more than that. If your child continues to salivate all day long, he or she is salivating too much. It is best to consult a pediatrician for a professional diagnosis.
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What does it mean when babies drool a lot?
Causes of development
The following factors cause excessive salivation as the baby grows:
Swallowing problems – underdeveloped mouth muscles prevent infants from swallowing all saliva. As they grow, the muscles mature and salivation stops by their second birthday.
Front teeth missing – Front teeth are like a dam that prevents saliva from flowing out of the mouth.
Open Mouth Resting Position – Infants may adopt the open mouth position due to weak oral muscles, thumb sucking, or airway restriction (may be due to nasal congestion, sore tonsils, etc.).
Physiological causes
Hypersecretion of saliva causes salivation. These are some of the causes that increase saliva secretion.
Teething – Teething in babies aged 4 to 6 months stimulates the salivary reflex, causing excessive saliva production. If your baby is teething, they may have symptoms other than drooling, including: irritability, gum disease, loss of appetite, ear rubbing, and restless sleep.
Certain foods – Feeding a child spicy and acidic foods and fruits increases the likelihood of salivation. If you’ve been feeding her spicy foods and acidic fruits like citrus fruits, reduce your intake and pay attention to any changes in salivation.
Sense of food — Salivation is sometimes a reaction to the smell of a child’s favorite food.
Concentration
Anything that grabs a child’s attention long enough will do two things:
Imitate the mind causing hypersecretion of saliva.
To divert their attention from the mouth to a state of fluidity.
Infections
Some infections cause excessive salivation. These include:
Mouth or Throat Infection – Gingivostomatitis and Coxsackievirus may cause excessive salivation. Epiglottitis, tonsillitis, or peritonsillitis may cause swallowing difficulty and pain, resulting in excessive salivation.
GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) — A child with GERD may occasionally drool when stomach acid irritates the esophagus.
Corrosive esophagitis – This is when the esophagus is damaged after ingestion of a corrosive agent such as detergent or acids.
Metal poisoning — Metal poisoning such as mercury and selenium often causes hypersalivation.
Neurological disorders
Via Flickr
Disorders affecting muscle control often result in salivation. These diseases include:
Children’s cerebral paralysis
Wilson’s disease
Bella paralysis
Autism
Polymiositis
miastenia gravis
of the drugs 9000 morphine, methacholine and haloperidol, which cause excessive salivation. Drugs such as nitrazepam cause difficulty in swallowing, leading to salivation.
How excessive salivation can harm your baby
Constant saliva irritates the skin. This causes your baby’s skin to crack and break out wherever saliva drips. You may notice red bumps or bumps under the baby’s lower lip, chin, and sometimes neck.
RELATED: This baby teeth and gum massager has been a lifesaver for parents with newborn teething
That’s why you should wipe up saliva as often as necessary to keep skin dry. Wipe saliva with a soft washcloth, preferably cotton, to avoid skin irritation. Other defenses include:
Use a bib to collect saliva.
Use moisturizing ointment. Consult your pediatrician for a suitable cream.
When should I worry about drooling?
Some salivation is expected and normal. The body produces more saliva for swallowing, digestion and oral hygiene. But this is when parents should be concerned:
If the child continues to salivate after 2 years , talk to your pediatrician.
Sudden salivation with difficulty speaking and breathing may be a sign of choking. You should call 911 and provide first aid immediately.
Salivation associated with fever, vomiting, sweating, agitation, sore throat and other symptoms requiring medical attention.
When unexplained salivation starts suddenly , this may indicate a health condition.
If you are unsure whether saliva is normal or excessive, check with your child’s pediatrician. The doctor will examine the child for underlying medical conditions and prescribe the necessary steps, including treatment or therapy.
NEXT: 15 things you need to know about your baby’s mouth, from tongues to teeth
Sources: Parenting.firstcry, Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/, Healthline eating sodas and breastfeeding
About the Author
Karen Samuels (710 articles published)
Karen is a mom who loves to write. She has worked with Woman Junction, BabyGaga, The Talko, The Things, among other sites. For questions, email [email protected]
More by Karen Samuels
Excessive salivation in babies
Any parent of an infant is no stranger to drooling. Drooling is a common practice for infants during the developmental stage, when their needs are centered in the mouth—usually between 3 and 6 months of age.
From this point on, drooling is still fairly common in healthy children under 2 years of age. Saliva performs many necessary functions. It keeps the mouth moist, makes it easier to swallow and soothes the baby’s gums, for example during teething.
Sometimes your child may seem to be drooling too much. Clinically, excessive drooling is usually associated with low muscle tone, lack of sensation in the lips and face, and difficulty swallowing. Although some salivation is normal in children under 2 years of age, excessive salivation is also a commonly observed symptom in children with neurological disorders. It’s important to check with your doctor, as excessive salivation can potentially be a symptom of a more serious condition caused by a birth injury.
Is excessive salivation a sign of cerebral palsy?
Cerebral palsy (CP) is a group of neurological disorders that affect the ability to move and maintain balance and posture. It is the most common movement disability in childhood. CP is caused by abnormal brain development or damage to the developing brain.
In the case of cerebral palsy, one of the affected muscle functions is the muscular control of the oral cavity, which means that a child with cerebral palsy drools almost constantly. Salivation is usually associated with the following reasons:
Swallowing violations
difficulty moving saliva to the back of the pharynx
Poor closing of the mouth
The inconsistency of the jaw
Slunum separation
Keep in mind that the uncontrolled salivation of the cerebral palsy is to be accepted. is a disease, you should first consider if it has any other symptoms. Children with cerebral palsy will also have writhing or spasmodic muscle movements, stiff muscles, instability in muscle tone, and developmental delay.
Is excessive salivation a sign of Bell’s palsy?
Bell’s palsy is a temporary nervous disorder characterized by paralysis of the facial nerve. It is caused by damage or trauma to the facial nerve. This nerve, which runs from the brainstem at the back of the skull to the face, controls the muscles on either side of the face that control blinking and facial expressions.
When Bell’s palsy occurs, the function of the facial nerve is impaired, disrupting the connection between the brain and the facial muscles. As a result, people with Bell’s palsy experience facial weakness or partial paralysis. Bell’s palsy occurs due to swelling and inflammation of the facial nerve, likely due to a viral infection.
If your child develops Bell’s palsy, he will have a droopy, dry eyelid on one side of his face in addition to excessive salivation. Luckily, Bell’s palsy is a temporary condition that can be treated with medication from your healthcare provider.
Is excessive salivation a sign of autism?
One of the symptoms that children diagnosed with autism commonly experience, in addition to developmental delay, is difficulty with muscle control and sensation. Because children with autism have a harder time controlling their facial muscles, drooling is a fairly common symptom.
For children diagnosed with autism, salivation treatment options should be tailored to the individual child. Discuss possible treatments with your child’s primary care physician. For example, a speech pathologist or occupational therapist who is experienced in oral sensitivity and muscle tone can potentially help. Rene Speyer et al., Developmental Medicine and Pediatric Neurology , 2019. A review designed to determine the prevalence of salivation, swallowing and feeding problems in people with cerebral palsy (CP) throughout their lives. Results from 42 studies showed that problems with salivation, swallowing and feeding is very common in people with CP. Thus, they experience an increased risk of malnutrition and dehydration, aspiration pneumonia, and poor quality of life.
“Salivation in cerebral palsy and its relationship to dysphagia and gross motor function”, Lijiang Wang et al.
The baby drools and bites fists
Contents:
1 Causes of increased salivation
2 How to help the baby
3 When to see a doctor
After two months, the baby may notice a lot of saliva. In the future, salivation only increases, which causes discomfort to the crumbs. As a result, clothes and bedding get wet, irritation and inflammation begin on the chin. In addition, saliva falls not only on the chin, but also on the cheeks on the chest.
Therefore, irritation, dryness and inflammation can also occur in such places. Let’s see why the baby drools. We will learn what to do if a baby drools in bubbles or they flow very strongly, how to help the child and make the life of the crumbs more comfortable.
Causes of increased salivation
Teething is the main cause of this phenomenon. The first teeth begin to erupt after three or four, and in some babies even after two months. The teeth move in the gums and cause severe discomfort, while saliva softens this irritation and even relieves inflammation.
At this time, it is important to give your baby chews on special teething toys. Gel cooling teethers help well, which are put in the refrigerator for a while before use. Cold products will soothe the gums, relieve inflammation and itching, and reduce salivation.
In the first year of life, the salivary glands are still being formed, so the newborn may suffer from increased or profuse salivation. Saliva is secreted in large volume, and the baby simply cannot cope with swallowing. This is a temporary phenomenon that does not occur often and disappears with age.
More often you will see thick and viscous drool in the baby, which helps the baby to suck. Due to salivation, the baby is comfortable and easy to suck on his mother’s breast, to extract breast milk. In addition, copious drooling occurs when the baby constantly sucks his fingers, bites or chews on his fist, puts objects and toys in his mouth. What to do if the baby sucks his thumb, read here.
Saliva contains enzymes, antibacterial and antiviral substances. Therefore, it is important to protect the baby from various diseases, including stomatitis. The child’s immunity is just being formed, in addition, the baby loves to drag various dirty objects into his mouth. This increases the risk of infections, while saliva, in turn, performs a protective function and disinfects the baby’s mouth, skin and body. Thus, the oral cavity is washed and cleansed of harmful bacteria and microbes.
In each of the above cases, the copious formation and salivation of the baby gradually decreases and disappears after a year. However, there is a pathological disease that must be treated. In this case, increased salivation is called hypersalivation. It is the primary sign of any pathological disease. With hypersalivation, you need to urgently consult a doctor to establish an accurate diagnosis.
How to help a baby
A number of preventive measures can be taken to reduce skin irritation and skin inflammation, to make life more comfortable for a child with excessive salivation, which include the following:
Wipe saliva with hypoallergenic, sterile, natural, fragrance-free soft wipes. Throw away the tissue after each use;
Lightly pat rather than rub the skin on the chin. Friction will only exacerbate irritation;
Practice good hygiene for babies. Wipe the skin of the chin and chest several times with a soft sponge or towel moistened with warm boiled water;
To soften and moisturize the skin, use a special baby cream, milk or lotion. Carefully check the composition and expiration date of the product. It is important that the cream has a natural safe composition and is appropriate for the age of the child. Choose products containing vitamins A and E. They effectively soften the skin, restore and protect the skin;
To protect clothing, hang a special fabric bib or collar with a waterproof lining. They perfectly absorb moisture. Do not tighten the bib around the neck too tight!;
Place a folded diaper under your baby’s head to protect bedding in the crib. Such a diaper will quickly absorb excess saliva;
Lay the baby on the tummy. This procedure has a positive effect on the development of the child, prevents the deformation of the skull and the formation of an umbilical hernia, improves digestion and reduces salivation. In addition, it will help drain the saliva that usually accumulates in the mouth when lying down. It is possible to lay out a newborn on the stomach already in the first week of life;
Regularly change your bib, diaper or clothing as soon as they become very wet, with clean and dry items. Wash bedding and underwear, baby clothes separately from adult clothes and only with safe hypoallergenic products. Since such products are close to the baby’s skin and can easily provoke allergies, aggravate skin irritation on the chin, cheeks or chest;
Watch your baby’s teeth, give special teethers to reduce pain and inflammation. You can also lightly massage the gums with your finger using gentle circular motions. Remember that the finger must be clean!;
Use nipples occasionally as they help baby swallow saliva. But do not give the pacifier too often, otherwise the child will be difficult to wean from it.
As we mentioned earlier, copious amounts of saliva may appear if the child sucks, chews or bites on a fist or finger, this may indicate that the baby wants to eat or drink. In addition, such a process can also be caused due to teething. Do not try to wean the child from sucking, as this is an innate reflex that will eventually go away on its own.
Strict prohibitions or screams due to the fact that the baby sucks a finger or fist, can negatively affect the mental development and nervous state of the crumbs. In no case do not smear your hands with mustard, garlic, salt and other similar means! They can cause allergies and poisoning in a child, burn the oral cavity and esophagus. Show and pay more attention to the baby. Distract the baby from the bad habit with games, activities, exercises and gymnastics. Try to find out and eliminate the cause of this behavior.
When to see a doctor
Unfortunately, sometimes a child may experience hypersalivation. If you notice too much salivation, as well as blisters of saliva in the baby, contact your pediatrician! This can be a symptom of diseases such as stomatitis or candidiasis, middle ear or nervous system diseases, upper respiratory tract pathologies, hypersensitivity and allergies, digestive and endocrine system diseases, severe poisoning or gingivitis, severe stress and nervous tension in a child.
Associated symptoms such as white spots and sores on the mucous membrane in and around the mouth can be seen with stomatitis. Each disease causes severe discomfort in the baby. He will sleep badly and often cry, act up, eat poorly. The chair and work of digestion can be broken, temperature rises and puffiness is observed. The examination will help to identify the problem and eliminate the disease at an early stage.
The deviations listed above are rare. Basically, the increased compartment disappears as soon as the work of the salivary glands normalizes, the baby stops putting fingers, a fist or other objects into his mouth, or when most of the teeth erupt. As a rule, the volume of saliva is reduced by the age of one. However, for some children, this problem can torment up to two or three years. In this case, be sure to go to a neurologist.
If a child has a runny nose, then often on its background there is an increased secretion of saliva. The combination of profuse salivation and runny nose speaks of a cold, SARS, tonsillitis, allergies. In this case, be sure to consult a doctor so that he can diagnose and prescribe the right suitable treatment.
Be careful, because with a cold, the baby cannot breathe fully, and due to the accumulation of saliva, breathing through the mouth will be difficult. As a result, the child will not be able to breathe normally. How to treat a runny nose in a baby, read the link https://vskormi.ru/children/nasmork-u-grudnichka-chto-delat/.
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Children’s bruxism – causes and treatment of children’s bruxism
Children’s bruxism – involuntary grinding of teeth during a night’s sleep due to spasm of chewing muscles. This is a chronic disorder, muscle contraction occurs paroxysmal. The episode usually lasts no more than 10 seconds and may occur several times a night. Some researchers believe that it is not necessary to treat bruxism, as it will resolve on its own by 6–7 years of age. However, it is important to show the child to the dentist, since this violation can lead to certain unpleasant consequences for the dental system. In addition, the general health of the baby should be taken into account: in the presence of other neurological symptoms, somatic and systemic diseases, it is necessary to be regularly observed by specialists of a narrow profile.
Forms of the disease
Childhood bruxism can vary in duration and frequency of episodes. However, it is important to understand that these are exclusively nocturnal attacks of teeth grinding.
Do not confuse bruxism with bruxomania – clenching and grinding of teeth during the daytime, while awake. Such movements are usually voluntary and controllable, and in young children may be associated with a newfound interest in the capabilities of their body when new teeth are just erupting. Experts say that some babies are trying to cope with itching when teething milk teeth. It is worth showing the child to the doctor, but usually the violation is transient and does not require correction.
Causes of child bruxism
Masticatory muscle dysfunction can be an independent disease or a complication of diseases of the oral cavity, as well as other organs and systems of the child’s body. Often, children’s bruxism is accompanied by sleep disorders: apnea, snoring, somnambulism, nightmares, interrupted sleep, etc. The causes of muscle spasm can be psychological factors: stress, fear, increased anxiety, depression, etc. In some cases, the child is not aware of traumatic situations and is not shows anxiety, but he has an internal tension. This may be due to a change of residence, a conflict in the educational team, the birth of a brother or sister, the loss of a favorite toy or pet, etc. Even an excess of positive emotions can provoke sleep disorders.
Nervous system dysfunction can also lead to bruxism. The disease in some cases is accompanied by epileptic seizures, hand tremors, muscle tone disorders (not only in relation to masticatory muscles).
There is an assumption that nighttime teeth grinding is associated with helminthiasis. But it is not scientifically confirmed and explains the problem only indirectly: parasitosis is often accompanied by anemia, a lack of B vitamins, in connection with which the function of the nervous system and muscle tone change, respectively.
Some role in the development of bruxism is assigned to ENT pathologies: adenoiditis, deviated septum, chronic inflammatory diseases make nasal breathing difficult. Many researchers believe that this leads to a violation of the muscle tone of the facial, masticatory muscles.
Dental causes of bruxism in children include the following:
malocclusion;
Filling is too high: it does not allow the jaws to close normally, which leads to an incorrect load on the muscles;
diseases of periodontal tissues;
diseases of the temporomandibular joint (TMJ).
Signs of bruxism in children
Parents usually succeed in suspecting bruxism, since the child’s sleep is not interrupted during episodes of nightly grinding, he does not experience severe discomfort. After waking up, the baby may complain of pain in the muscles of the face, temporomandibular joint, headaches and dizziness, ringing in the ears. During the day, there may be lethargy and drowsiness, increased fatigue. As the disease develops, increased enamel abrasion and associated hyperesthesia can be added – sensitivity to food at different temperatures, as well as sour and sweet foods and drinks.
Complications of bruxism
Prolonged bruxism can cause the following complications:
enamel damage: cracks, destruction of the crown part of the teeth, chips and others, which is associated with inadequate loads on hard tissues;
tooth mobility, premature loss of milk teeth;
damage to gums and periodontal tissues;
violation of permanent occlusion associated with early loss of teeth, reduction in the height of crowns and other phenomena.
Prolonged bouts of bruxism are accompanied by apnea – short-term respiratory arrest. This can lead to oxygen starvation and associated unpleasant consequences for the entire body of the child.
Features of diagnosis
The very fact of night grinding is established by the doctor from the words of the child’s parents or close relatives, but it is important to confirm the diagnosis. The following methods are used for diagnostics:
polysomnography. The procedure involves fixing special sensors on the child’s body that record changes during sleep. Allows you to assess the functional state of the nervous system;
EEG. It makes it possible to assess the electrical activity of the brain, to identify epilepsy and other disorders;
electromyography. This method of assessing the function of masticatory muscles is based on the impact of current. The procedure is painless, allows you to determine the excess muscle tone;
Brux Checker. Special trays, made on the basis of a cast of the patient’s jaw, are installed overnight, after which the diagnostic plates are sent to the clinic for analysis. This method allows you to determine which teeth suffer from increased occlusal load, whether it occurs in general.
It is important to understand that these measures may not be enough to identify the true causes of the problem. In some cases, laboratory diagnostics is required: general blood tests, determination of hemoglobin levels, mineral content and other components. It may also be necessary to involve other specialists of a narrow profile: an otolaryngologist, a neurologist, a psychotherapist, a gastroenterologist.
Methods of treatment
Treatment of bruxism in children begins with the elimination of the causes that caused this disorder. Medical, physiotherapeutic, psychotherapeutic effects are used, and dental defects are corrected.
There is no specific drug therapy for bruxism, as it is not a disease but rather a symptom of some disorder. However, the doctor may prescribe drugs that correct the function of the masticatory muscles and normalize sleep. These include the following:
B vitamins,
magnesium and calcium preparations,
sleeping pills,
sedatives.
As methods that normalize sleep and muscle tone, warm compresses, coniferous baths, a course of general strengthening massage, and swimming can be prescribed if there are no contraindications.
Psychological correction has no contraindications and is used in many cases. If you suspect that episodes of disturbance were preceded by stress, you can contact a child psychologist. Lack of attention from loved ones, conflicts in the family or educational team, life changes, a state of loss – all these are reasons to visit a specialist. Various methods are used to treat children: art therapy, sand therapy, hippotherapy, dance and movement therapy, etc. In addition, a child psychologist will give recommendations on organizing a child’s leisure time, interacting with him and building relationships within the family, creating a calm and favorable atmosphere in home.
Dental therapies are designed not only to deal with the causes of bruxism, but also to eliminate its consequences. So, if there is malocclusion or crowding of teeth, premature loss of milk teeth, the doctor will offer the best solution. According to indications, caries and inflammatory diseases are treated, damaged teeth are restored with composite materials, in order to get rid of hypersensitivity – fluoridation and remineralizing therapy.
For the treatment of disorders in children over 10 years old, protective mouth guards can be used – devices made of soft material that are fixed on the teeth before bed at night and help protect the enamel from friction. You can buy ready-made mouthguards or order their production in a dental clinic. The second solution is more optimal, since it involves the preliminary taking of an impression and the manufacture of a structure exactly according to the parameters of the child’s dentition. Therefore, the mouthguards fit tighter, which means they protect the teeth more reliably. In addition, the doctor will tell you everything about the care of mouth guards and the timing of their replacement.
A pediatric orthodontist will tell you how to treat bruxism in children with malocclusion. As a correction method, he can offer plates, orthodontic mouth guards, wearing special devices or bracket systems – it all depends on the specific case, the type of bite defect, and the age of the child. Correcting the bite is easier when the jaws are still being formed.
General recommendations:
it is important to prevent emotional overexcitation in a child, including those associated with positive emotions. All active events should be planned for the first half of the day;
communicate and build trusting relationships with the child, maintain a healthy calm atmosphere in the family;
switch your child’s attention from computer games and watching cartoons in the evening to inactive leisure. It is better to devote 2-3 hours before bedtime to reading books, quiet games;
do not feed your baby 3 hours before bedtime. Do not overload the digestive system at night.
Prophylactic features
It is difficult to predict the appearance of bruxism, however, children with malocclusion, sleep disorders, and emotionally excitable babies are at risk.
In order to prevent this disorder in your child, you can take the following measures:
put the child to bed a little earlier: this will prevent possible sleep deprivation. Good sleep will help to cope with the psycho-emotional stress accumulated during the day;
Watch the child’s chewing muscles: his jaws should be relaxed if he does not speak, chew or swallow at this time. Pay attention to the baby if, during wakefulness, he excessively closes his jaw involuntarily or consciously;
provide good nutrition;
cure dental diseases in a timely manner, contact a pediatric otolaryngologist in the presence of ENT pathologies.
Bruxism in children of all ages is treated by pediatric dentists at the STOMA clinics. You can contact us for qualified assistance, which includes consultation, production of protective mouth guards, correction of malocclusion. We guarantee the high quality of dental services provided to young patients.
Stomatitis in a child – what is it? . Official site of KGAUZ “Norilsk GSP”
Stomatitis is an inflammation of the oral mucosa. The name comes from the Latin word “stoma” (mouth). Stomatitis occurs in both children and adults, but most often it appears in infants and preschoolers. This is because the mucosa at this age is thinner and more tender. It is more common for everyone to say “stomatitis”, but it would be more correct to say “stomatitis”, since this is a generalizing concept for a whole group of diseases.
Causes of stomatitis in children
The causes of stomatitis in children are different. These are dirty hands, and fragile children’s immunity, and the features of thermoregulation, on which the respiratory system directly depends. You need to understand that the children’s mucosa, unlike the adult one, is a very thin and vulnerable substance, so the attachment of any infection occurs very quickly. At an early age, salivation is not yet fully formed in a child, and saliva enzymes play a very important role in protecting the body. As a result, the mucous membrane often dries up, cracks appear, an infection occurs, and stomatitis follows it. It is impossible not to take into account the long-term use of medications, such as antibiotics, as well as neuropsychiatric disorders, unfavorable living conditions, poor child care and inadequate oral hygiene by the parents themselves.
It is often the parents who help the doctor to find out the cause of the disease. Only they can try to analyze what caused the appearance of a bubble, sore or plaque. For example, the child ate something wrong, bought a new toothpaste or toothbrush, or maybe the baby suffered a temperature drop.
Depending on the causes of occurrence, stomatitis can be divided into several types, each of which has a number of features.
Viral, herpes, or herpetic stomatitis in children is one of the most common types of childhood stomatitis. Usually a child becomes infected with it by airborne droplets. The virus is also transmitted through dishes, toys, household items. Most often, herpetic stomatitis in a child appears at the age of one to 4 years. The disease begins as a cold and is accompanied by a rash on the lips, lethargy, and fever. Sometimes there is a runny nose and cough. Around the second day, aphthae appear on the lips, tongue, and inside of the cheeks – small round or oval sores of light yellow color with a bright red border. They exude an unpleasant odor, are easily torn off and then bleed. These ulcers are the main symptom of this type of stomatitis. Therefore, such stomatitis in children is also called aphthous, or ulcerative. This is a particularly unpleasant type of disease, as it can be severe and accompanied by severe intoxication. Viral stomatitis in children also often occurs against the background of other viral diseases, such as influenza, chickenpox or measles.
Infectious stomatitis occurs in children of both school and preschool age. Most often they occur with tonsillitis, sinusitis, pneumonia. The main symptom is a thick yellow crust on the lips. At the same time, the lips stick together, the mouth opens with difficulty. The temperature usually rises. Bacterial stomatitis in a child most often occurs due to weakened immunity in the autumn-winter period.
Traumatic stomatitis in a child is caused by mechanical injuries of the oral cavity. For example, burns from hot food, a too hard nipple, the habit of chewing on a pencil. Also, traumatic stomatitis often occurs in children with malocclusion due to frequent biting of the cheeks and tongue.
Candidal stomatitis occurs in children under one year old. The cause is Candida fungus. The milk left in the baby’s mouth after breastfeeding is an excellent breeding ground for them. Therefore, parents call candidal stomatitis in children thrush. The main symptom is the appearance of white plaque in the baby’s mouth. It is worth noting that this plaque should not be confused with the usual plaque after feeding. A cause for alarm is if the plaque does not go away, and the child refuses to eat.
Drug-induced or allergic stomatitis in children is caused by some type of allergy or drug reaction. In case of suspicion of this type of disease, the allergen should be identified and removed, otherwise there is a risk of getting unpleasant consequences, up to anaphylactic shock.
Symptoms of stomatitis in children
For all types of stomatitis, a common and defining symptom is inflammation of the oral mucosa and the appearance on any of its parts, such as the tongue, the inside of the lips, cheeks, throat of various formations in the form of sores, vesicles, characteristic plaque, vesicles (blistering rashes) and in cases of traumatic stomatitis – burns, bites, injuries. It is important to understand that stomatitis is not one acute or chronic disease with certain classic symptoms, each type has its own special cause, and they manifest themselves in the oral cavity in different ways, therefore, they need to be treated differently.
Treatment of stomatitis in children
There is no single algorithm for the treatment of stomatitis in children. Each case is individual in its own way. It often happens when a mother comes in the hope that the doctor will prescribe an ointment, and she will immediately cure her child with it. This does not happen! It is necessary to understand what preceded the inflammation, taking into account the age of the child, the stage and severity of the disease. Treatment is carried out both locally and symptomatically, i.e. symptoms are relieved. Doctors dentist-therapist and pediatrician give their recommendations, it is possible to involve highly specialized specialists, such as ENT, mycologist, dermatologist. Of course, there are some textbook principles that guide specialists in order to relieve or relieve pain or prevent complications. We are talking about compliance with the rules of oral hygiene, diet and sleep, treatment of the mucous membrane with special gels, solutions and applications. For example, with allergic stomatitis in children, antihistamines are recommended, with herpetic forms – antiviral, if there is a temperature – it is antipyretic. It is important that when you find a problem, contact a specialist without delay.
Caring for a child with stomatitis
Parental involvement in the treatment and proper care of the child are not only important – they are decisive. With stomatitis, it is necessary to strictly follow the treatment plan, which is often very laborious, so the result depends on parental care and control. The oral cavity is a kind of epicenter of pain, so it is not surprising that the child will be capricious a lot. Therefore, it is important for parents to stock up on patience and perseverance. Most moms and dads are concerned about how to feed a child with stomatitis. Firstly, it is necessary to consume only soft, warm (not hotter than 30 degrees) and mushy food, for example, in the form of mashed potatoes. The main thing is that the food is high-calorie and positive, because the child’s immunity is already weakened. After eating, it is imperative to rinse your mouth so as not to provoke the development of stomatitis and not to attach any additional infection. A diet for stomatitis in a child should be with the exclusion from the diet of spicy, sour, sweet foods and citrus fruits.
Children with stomatitis need to be anesthetized. It is carried out with the help of various medications in order to avoid refusal of food and deterioration of sleep. In addition, with stomatitis in children, proper treatment of the oral cavity is very important. How to handle and rinse the child’s mouth should be recommended by the doctor.
Prevention of stomatitis in children
If a person has had stomatitis at least once in his life, there will always be a risk of its recurrence, so prevention comes to the fore – in general, strengthening immunity in order to prevent the disease from returning. Both parents and children should follow simple rules of oral hygiene. Obligatory observation at the dentist 2 – 3 times a year, even eating the child does not bother anything. It is advisable, when choosing personal hygiene products, to be guided by the recommendations of your attending dentist. With the onset of recovery, after the end of the disease, it is necessary to replace personal hygiene items, such as a toothbrush, bottles, nipples, etc. Remember, the main thing is to eliminate the cause of stomatitis. Therefore, the child simply needs to be shown to the doctor. Only he can say how to treat children’s stomatitis. Self-medication can only aggravate the course of the disease and prolong the suffering of your baby.
My baby is 3 months old and drooling, what should I do? Why is the baby drooling?
Greetings, friends! Today’s article of mine again aims to reassure new parents who may be very nervous about the fact that their baby began to salivate a lot.
I understand that now your child’s clothes are getting wet because of saliva, a little irritation has gone down his face, he may start to get nervous and even cry about this. However, it’s okay, all parents go through this. Your child is completely healthy. Very rarely, saliva runs strongly as a result of a serious illness, in all the remaining 99 percent of cases this is a completely natural phenomenon, it’s just that some babies drool a little more than others.
Why is this happening. To find out the reasons, you must first understand the basic functions of saliva. What is it for.
Why is there so much saliva
Your newborn is growing, becoming big, reaching two or three months of age. At this stage of development, the salivary glands are formed and begin to work. Therefore, the appearance of profuse salivation is a normal phenomenon. In the same period, the baby becomes more active. The child explores and tastes everything that surrounds him. Therefore, the body produces a protective antibacterial environment ─ saliva, which washes away the dirt that enters the small mouth.
The newborn’s saliva has already appeared, but the baby still does not know how to swallow it, so streams flow down the chin. Parents are afraid of such profuse salivation. If the saliva is transparent, not foamy, not thick, not viscous, experienced mothers do not worry. Mothers know that this is the normal state of the baby at this age.
Abundant salivation in infants 2-3 months old is a common thing, because it is during this period that their salivary glands “turn on”
Causes of increased salivation
Teething is the main cause of this phenomenon. The first teeth begin to erupt after three or four, and in some babies even after two months. The teeth move in the gums and cause severe discomfort, while saliva softens this irritation and even relieves inflammation.
At this time, it is important to give your baby chews on special teething toys. Gel cooling teethers help well, which are put in the refrigerator for a while before use. Cold products will soothe the gums, relieve inflammation and itching, and reduce salivation.
In the first year of life, the salivary glands are still developing, so the newborn may suffer from increased or profuse salivation. Saliva is secreted in large volume, and the baby simply cannot cope with swallowing. This is a temporary phenomenon that does not occur often and disappears with age.
More often you will see thick and viscous saliva in the baby, which helps the baby to suckle. Due to salivation, the baby is comfortable and easy to suck on his mother’s breast, to extract breast milk. In addition, copious drooling occurs when the baby constantly sucks his fingers, bites or chews on his fist, puts objects and toys in his mouth. What to do if the baby sucks his thumb, read here.
Saliva contains enzymes, antibacterial and antiviral substances. Therefore, it is important to protect the baby from various diseases, including stomatitis. The child’s immunity is just being formed, in addition, the baby loves to drag various dirty objects into his mouth. This increases the risk of infections, while saliva, in turn, performs a protective function and disinfects the baby’s mouth, skin and body. Thus, the oral cavity is washed and cleansed of harmful bacteria and microbes.
In each of the above cases, the excessive formation and salivation of the baby gradually decreases and disappears after a year. However, there is a pathological disease that must be treated. In this case, increased salivation is called hypersalivation. It is the primary sign of any pathological disease. With hypersalivation, you need to urgently consult a doctor to establish an accurate diagnosis.
Saliva and its functions
Saliva is necessary for the body at any age. In the oral cavity under the tongue, on the inside of the cheeks, behind the lower teeth are the salivary glands. They work constantly, producing up to two liters of fluid per day in an adult.
Saliva takes care of maintaining the pH in the right state, prevents the formation of tartar and caries. Through saliva, harmful microorganisms are destroyed, thereby preventing an unpleasant odor in the mouth.
Saliva is involved in the processing and digestion of food. Salivary enzymes contribute to the breakdown and digestion of substances, the production of glucose from starch.
When to See a Doctor
Unfortunately, hypersalivation can sometimes occur in a child. If you notice too much salivation, as well as blisters of saliva in the baby, contact your pediatrician! This can be a symptom of diseases such as stomatitis or candidiasis, middle ear or nervous system diseases, upper respiratory tract pathologies, hypersensitivity and allergies, digestive and endocrine system diseases, severe poisoning or gingivitis, severe stress and nervous tension in a child.
With stomatitis, you may notice associated symptoms such as white spots and sores on the mucous membrane in the mouth and near the mouth. Each disease causes severe discomfort in the baby. He will sleep badly and often cry, act up, eat poorly. The chair and work of digestion can be broken, temperature rises and puffiness is observed. The examination will help to identify the problem and eliminate the disease at an early stage.
The deviations listed above are rare. Basically, the increased compartment disappears as soon as the work of the salivary glands normalizes, the baby stops putting fingers, a fist or other objects into his mouth, or when most of the teeth erupt. As a rule, the volume of saliva is reduced by the age of one. However, for some children, this problem can torment up to two or three years. In this case, be sure to go to a neurologist.
If a child has a runny nose, it is often associated with increased salivation. The combination of profuse salivation and runny nose speaks of a cold, SARS, tonsillitis, allergies. In this case, be sure to consult a doctor so that he can diagnose and prescribe the right suitable treatment.
Be careful, because with a cold, the baby cannot breathe fully, and due to the accumulation of saliva, breathing through the mouth will be difficult. As a result, the child will not be able to breathe normally. How to treat a runny nose in a baby, read the link.
How to help the baby
Parents will have to accept and survive the period of drooling of the little one. It is unpleasant for the baby to be slobbery himself, so parents especially diligently take care and care for the baby at this time.
Not in vain, apparently, even our great-grandmothers invented bibs for babies. Bibs will help even now: the fabric absorbs liquid, blouses remain dry, the skin on the neck and breast is also dry.
Sometimes a baby in the supine position lets out so much saliva that he chokes and simply chokes on it. He may cough, even wheeze. So that the child does not have trouble, put him on his side or on his tummy, you can put him on a low pillow. So, saliva will flow down and will not harm the baby.
Soon the teething time comes, the crumbs itch, the gums itch, he constantly gnaws something to relieve the itch. Help him, massage his gums with your finger. And in places where the first teeth appear, gently press. On the recommendation of a doctor, buy a special tool that lightly lubricates the gums with it, this will calm the baby.
A pacifier can help minimize the problem of salivation. If a child sucks on a pacifier, he will swallow saliva
Methods of treatment
If the trouble causing hypersalivation is pathological, then treatment must be carried out without fail in order to prevent exacerbation.
Folk remedies
Folk remedies should be an addition to medical methods. Small children can be helped by rinsing the mouth with decoctions of the following herbs:
nettle decoction;
sage infusion;
cabbage pickle.
Weed should be selected by your local pediatrician. You can also use infusions by adding them to a bath for bathing with warm water. Here, tinctures of nettle, black elderberry, calendula, St. John’s wort or chamomile are suitable.
Yes, there are traditional methods of dealing with these manifestations. They are especially effective if the cause of hypersalivation is problems with the oral cavity.
You can rinse your mouth with a decoction of chamomile or nettle. But this method should not be used as the main one. It is rather an adjuvant therapy that complements drug treatment. With serious problems, rinsing your mouth with herbs will not cope.
Also, do not forget that the use of folk remedies must be agreed with the attending physician. Many herbs are highly allergenic, therefore children are not allowed
.
Drugs
Therapy is carried out in two directions:
Therapy of the underlying pathology, which provoked a strong salivation.
Relief of the condition of the baby by reducing the pain effect.
If a month-old baby or an older baby is drooling, then drugs are prescribed that lower the function of the salivary glands.
Saliva is an indispensable helper of the baby in the fight against bacteria and viruses
However, they are prescribed in critical situations
, for example, if a newborn chokes at night, which can lead to death.
The very solution to the trouble depends on the cause of the appearance. In cases with colds and stomatitis, therapy will be prescribed by a pediatrician and dentist.
Basic treatments at home
At home, to alleviate the condition of the crumbs, you can do this:
Application of ice cubes to the lip contour. In the case of a newborn, ice should be wrapped in a tissue napkin.
Mouth rinse with herbs.
Babies 9-12 months old can be massaged and exercised.
Introducing solid foods into the diet will help develop the swallowing reflex. If the baby is too small, then a nibbler can be used.
Baby care
Abundant salivation requires increased care from parents. Mothers stock up on handkerchiefs or soft wipes to wipe their newborn’s mouth and chin.
Even when the chin is constantly wet, dripping saliva causes redness, peeling, rashes on the skin around the mouth and on the chin. Knowledgeable mothers advise using baby cream and lubricating irritated places several times a day until the skin is restored.
Your doctor will tell you which creams and ointments to relieve irritation on the child’s skin. It is necessary to lubricate the delicate skin with the prescribed means very carefully, in a thin layer, so as not to cause even more irritation.
Symptoms of pathological cough in infants
During the growth of teeth, the baby’s immunity is greatly reduced, so he can catch a bacterial or viral infection. Often, a virus or bacterium sits on the damaged mucosa of the trachea or larynx, which begin to multiply. This causes tracheitis, pharyngitis, tonsillitis. If the infection goes down, bronchitis and pneumonia may develop.
Pneumonia in a baby under one year old is provoked by a bacterial or viral infection. It may be asymptomatic. On x-ray of the lungs, there may also be no lesions. This makes diagnosis very difficult.
If the cough persists for more than 3 days, you should immediately contact a pediatrician in order to promptly diagnose a respiratory disease and prevent complications.
Pneumonia is usually characterized by a wet cough. Sputum has a yellowish tint. The disease is accompanied by a temperature of up to 39 ° C. When prescribing an antibiotic, hyperthermia begins to fade in the first 2 days, the cough is slowly stopped.
Classical bronchitis in infancy occurs with cough. It can be dry or wet. At the initial stage of the disease, a dry cough prevails, gradually turning into a wet one. Inflammation of the bronchial tree is necessarily accompanied by an increase in temperature.
True hypersalivation
Physiological features of salivation involve the interaction of peripheral receptors and the brain: as soon as the oral cavity is filled with saliva, a command to swallow it comes through the motor pathways. In the event of a malfunction of the reflex sensorimotor arc, when sensitivity (hypoesthesia) is disturbed, the information flow does not enter the brain from the oral cavity. It is these violations that are the main reason why the child drools heavily, as the number of spontaneous swallowing during the day is reduced.
To eliminate this problem, it is necessary to create conditions under which the brain will receive more information that contributes to reflex swallowing: correction of the sensorimotor arc is necessary.
Western scientists consider cryotherapy to be an effective tool in solving this issue – holding an ice stick along the child’s tongue. Of course, a 100% result should not be expected, but in most cases, if not a complete stop of salivation, then a significant decrease is observed. This method requires patience and consistency from the parents, but it is less painful for the baby compared to dental correction surgery.
Incipient SARS
Sometimes excessive salivation, accompanied by regular attempts by the baby to put his fingers and fists in his mouth, indicates the onset of an infectious disease such as SARS, flu, tonsillitis, etc.
Soft bedding is the single biggest SIDS risk factor for infants 4-12 months old, according to Dr. Goodstein.
Soft bedding is the single biggest SIDS risk factor for infants 4-12 months old, according to Dr. Goodstein.
When safe co-sleeping guidelines are followed, this co-sleeping practice of room-sharing can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and prevent suffocation, strangulation or the type of entrapment that could occur when the infant is sleeping in the adult bed.
Since a baby’s head is twice the weight of its body at birth, young infants don’t have the strength to reposition their head. If the baby’s nose leans against a surface like a pillow, a wall or a mattress, or even the mother’s body, it could lead to suffocation.
com or Cribs for Kids.org.
This safe sleep guideline helps to minimize the risks of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,) 
During that window of time you are teaching your baby what sleep looks like. At 4 months babies hit the 4 month sleep regression where they wake up to the world around them. This manifests with waking up more at night and taking shorter naps. If your baby will only sleep in arms this becomes a very trying time. 
I kept watching my son for “cues” that he was tired. I wasn’t very good at it really. I kept mistaking the signs of fatigue for hunger and I would nurse him. He was more tired than hungry and kept having a short feed and then falling asleep at the breast. This is very common. In addition many parents have a naptime or bedtime that is too late and when they try to put their little ones down in the bassinet they refuse. They are overtired and cry at pretty much everything. If your baby is overtired it’s probably not the best time to try the bassinet again. 
In the newborn stage often this transfer to the crib or bassinet is feasible but as baby hits the 2 month mark she becomes more aware and rejects the transfer. She wakes and cries as soon as her toe his the mattress. Sleep is a learned habit, so she’s learned it happens in arms. 
youtube.com/embed/k-MrCxDLAZo?modestbranding=1″ title=”March of Dimes Video” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen=””/>
SIDS is the unexplained death of a baby younger than 1 year old. SIDS usually happens when a baby is sleeping. It’s sometimes called crib death because the baby often dies in his crib.
Use only the mattress made for your baby’s crib. The mattress should fit snugly in the crib so there are no spaces between the mattress and the crib frame. The mattress shape should stay firm even when covered with a tightly fitted sheet or mattress cover.
It’s safe to swaddle your baby for sleep until he can roll over onto his tummy. But once he can roll over, stop swaddling. A swaddled baby who is placed on or rolls onto his tummy while sleeping may be more likely SIDS. Swaddling is when you snugly wrap a light blanket around your baby so that it covers most of his body below the neck. 
Some babies need this kind of monitor because of medical problems, but this is rare. There’s no evidence that the monitors help reduce the risk of SIDS in healthy babies.
Ask your lactation consultant to help you make sure your baby has a good latch. Latch is when your baby’s mouth is securely attached to the area around your nipple for breastfeeding. 
Babies of mothers who don’t get regular prenatal care are at increased risk of SIDS.
It can help make your baby’s neck, shoulder and arm muscles stronger. It also helps prevent flat spots on the back of your baby’s head that she may get from sleeping on her back. Always watch your baby during tummy time or make sure an adult who is awake is watching your baby.
Remove all pillows from the crib.
Include it as part of your bedtime routine and whenever you are cuddling or comforting your baby. Don’t force your baby to accept the object, and realize that some babies never develop an attachment to a single item.
Please note that I’m not a medical doctor—I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism—so please run any concerns you have about your baby by your pediatrician. That said, I did a ton of research and interviews for this piece and I’m happy to share what I learned. Perhaps just as relevant, I have a 9-month-old daughter so I’m in the same boat as many of you out there. Let’s have at it.
” Have you tried a fan? Besides keeping the room cool, babies also seem to like the white noise.
The popularity of swaddling seems to be a direct response to the Back to Sleep campaign. On their backs, newborns tend to startle or hit themselves with their arms (which they can’t really control yet, poor things!). Swaddling helps prevent this.
I think these constant warnings are a hallmark of modern American parenting. My daughter has warnings on everything– her crib, her bedding, her teething biscuits, her lotion, you name it. It kind of drives me nuts, but at the same time, we want to keep our babies safe. It’s a tough balance. 
At two weeks old the baby died of SIDS. I have no idea how they had her sleeping. My question is, how worried should I be about an increased likelihood of SIDS? Is there ANY genetic predisposition? Am I worrying needlessly?
I know crib bumpers are bad, safety-wise, but are they still bad for babies who are able to roll over?
An infant hasn’t got enough force to hit his/her head against the crib in any dangerous way. They are decorative and dangerous. The same for soft pillows. Most babies will never be harmed, but why risk your precious one? 
Truthfully, if she had kicked the dog out of his bed and I got 8 hours of sleep, she would have been sleeping on the dog bed. The sad thing is that the dog and the baby were the only ones getting a good night’s rest.
There can’t be too much information about such a sad and serious issue. I don’t have a question but wanted to pass along something I wish someone had told me before I had my son:
Personally, I familiarize myself with the “official” guidelines and latest research, but I also trust myself and spend time getting to know my newborn’s behaviors and capabilities (e.g., when she’s able to lift and turn her head). That, plus a pediatrician who you trust, are a great path to successful, somewhat stressfree parenthood.
I thought the fan was just to keep the room cool, since there’s a link between SIDS and overheating. I know a lot of the SIDS research right now is about babies’ automatic functions like breathing, heartbeat and body temperature. Scientists are looking into whether SIDS victims had pathway deficits in those regions of the brain.
But always start on the back. An adult may love a fluffy comforter, but babies don’t! Put your baby on its back only in a crib and keep toys and blankets out.
It depends what amount of risk you’re comfortable with and what works for your family. 
I don’t know the answer though! We always had those special swaddles with the velcro (I think they’re made by Summer Infant). They’re alarmingly like baby straightjackets!
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5 kg
If you’re breastfeeding, wait at least 4 weeks before giving your baby a dummy.
Mom feeds, overcoming fatigue, sacrificing her own interests for the sake of the child. Are the best interests of the child in such a situation taken into account? 
Try not to do for the child what he can already handle on his own. 
Minimize distractions – TV , telephone, communication with other people. This is the time of your close communication with the baby. 
Avoid frequent night feedings, do not feed more at night than during the day. If the baby wakes up an hour after the last feeding, let him drink some water from the cup (this reduces the habit of sucking). Do not let your baby sleep with the breast in their mouth. 
She has been sleeping restlessly since three months, sometimes jumping up every one and a half to two hours, and you can put her to sleep only by letting her suck. It’s hard, the nerves give up. 9Kate I quit breastfeeding at 1.5 daughter years. I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now … she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of GV, the daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed “And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. That is, if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she doesn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep, even when she was sleepy and tired.0003 
She has been sleeping restlessly since three months, sometimes jumping up every one and a half to two hours, and you can put her to sleep only by letting her suck. It’s hard, the nerves give up. 
Can only drink juice or water 
But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep even when she was sleepy and tired.0003 
.. 
So I am rocking 12 kg in my arms, I have no strength 
And for daytime sleep (if not a walk), and for nighttime, and at night, you can only lull your chest again. Otherwise, bitter crying, to the point of hysteria, no stroking, songs, hugs help. She never sucked on a pacifier, she didn’t like it, she didn’t suck on a bottle either. 
. she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of GV, the daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. T. *****. if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she didn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep difficult, even when she was sleepy and tired.0003 
Is it possible to fix this?
Those. while my husband and I are awake, she almost jumps over our heads, but as soon as we fall asleep / pretend, she also settles down next to her and falls asleep. But all these methods are suitable for a baby from 1.5 years old, who already understands something. 
However, the baby still needs close contact with you, but now this connection is established not during breastfeeding, but in the process of communication, learning, and play. 
If you breastfeed your baby only once a day, lactation will drop dramatically. 
Do not change in front of the child. 
Both defend mothers with foam at the mouth – in general, it is known that all discussions of the children’s topic are usually very sharp. 
… But I endured, we fought for guards and the problem of sleep was the tenth thing. 
, etc. 
If you remain calm and confident, the child will quickly learn that vomiting does not affect your decision, and will learn to fall asleep on his own. ” 
And guards are very necessary for children at least up to a year, and preferably longer. 
.. 
) 
I had to sit down and spend time looking for research. 
) 
And so on. 
New evidence from the field of biology points to the fact that infant sleep researchers underestimate the importance of breastfeeding and maternal proximity in regulating the physiology of infant sleep , and thus meeting the needs of the infant during the night.0750 children who “never” slept with their parents were less controllable, less happy, and more likely to throw tantrums . Moreover, the scientist found that children who were never allowed to sleep with their parents were more shy than children who always slept in their parents’ bed all night long (17).” 
All this is of the utmost importance, given that the child is born neurologically immature and matures slowly outside the womb (38-41)” 
Using this kind of criteria to evaluate “developmental progress” can do more harm than good, especially if the actual sleep conditions differ from the sleep conditions for which such an assessment is intended. ” 
This is not evidence of parental incompetence, but rather a lack of flexibility in interpreting and applying the advice given by health professionals.”
The physiological and psychological effects depend on the age of the child, as well as the social, physical, and emotional circumstances surrounding co-sleeping. 
“
But in 99% (a figure from me, approximate) of cases, we are not talking about sleep disturbance. It’s about sleep patterns. and if the baby wakes up to suck on the breast – this is the norm! It is important for mom to get enough sleep, co-sleeping and daytime sleep helps. 
I’m sorry that I spent SO many nerves and energy worrying about why my baby is not sleeping as soundly as I would like, why I can’t put him in the crib and go about my business. I’m sorry that one of my grandmothers raised children on a schedule, and the second didn’t raise children at all, but worked, that my grandfather still exhorts me to put my daughter in a crib and accustom her to her, that my progressive mother in the first difficult months of my girl is so I was worried that this was “breast slavery”, that it was impossible to sleep with a breast, that it was too hard for me. I’m sorry that a bunch of kids around the world are doing all sorts of horrors like being left screaming and being taught to sleep. I would go to jail for this. 
Well, in a wheelchair on the street – it’s easy. No nipples, thumb sucking, transient objects, etc. 
Where the children slept all together, and indeed everyone slept together, the children were carried in their arms, it was as normal to give a breast as to sneeze, and no one was worried about accustoming to sleep (the woman just plowed like a horse, and the child grew up by itself, holding on to her skirt, and then running barefoot through the dung). 
For me, in this version, it is generally a paradise, both for the child and for the mother. Maybe someday heaven or someone there will send me a sleeping child) 
But is it worth following all the advice? 
Which leads to short naps, frequent tears, waking up too early and going to bed for hours. 
But “cry it out” (CIO) refers to many approaches to sleep training. And most often it is based on the fact that parents allow the child to cry for a certain period of time (usually this is a very short period). 
And subsequently, when he wakes up at night, which is part of the natural sleep cycle, he will worry and cry instead of falling asleep again. 
Pediatrician Mark Weissbluth, author of the popular book Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby, says that crying is an integral part of helping some kids develop healthy sleep habits. 
The maximum period is a week. 
But in this case, all the work will be done in vain. You can pause the program if you find that your child is simply not physically or emotionally ready. 
— Kelly. 
“If he wanted to play with a sharp knife, you would naturally not give him such a dangerous “toy”, no matter how much he cried. In doing so, you would not feel guilty and would not worry about the psychological consequences. An abnormal sleep pattern can be as harmful to your child as a sharp knife.” 
In the struggle for survival, all means are good. And if sleep is pleasure, then you have to pay for any pleasure. Someday you will definitely understand that sleep is a plane in which you can always fly business class. 
2 years old) using this method. Helped right away! From 4 a.m. he sleeps all night without waking up. From 21-8 in the morning. Happiness has no limit. Today is day 11. Somehow there was a strong cry, but fell asleep in one go. The first night is hard. It worked for me with both daughters, but I am convinced that children are different. Good luck to all! 
And until the age of 25, he remained like that, stealing money from his father, and his mother bought cigarettes, fed and clothed him. Until one day he found himself in conditions of survival without papa and mama. After that, the world turned upside down. Now I am a financially secure person, absolutely independent and independent of any circumstances. 
Yelled for 30 minutes. Then they slashed. 
The fault of such upbringing will be only you. 
As the doctor writes – “let them cry and come … make it clear that mom will come anyway, and let them cry again and come and the baby will understand that he is not alone and you can sleep peacefully” 
Nothing will happen to your child, psychologically speaking. Take care of yourself!!! 
The level of the stress hormone in such children goes off scale and leads to irreversible consequences in the conditions of the formation of the psyche. Moreover, studies were conducted where they found that even if the children stopped crying with this method, as it turned out, this was due to an increased stress hormone and the “freeze or flight” reaction (that is, the children seemed to freeze). This method leads not only to the formation of distrust of the child with the closest people, but also subsequently to low stress tolerance. 
You need to pause and watch the baby. And if the child does not calm down or the cry of pain / hunger, then you need to take the child in your arms. 
A friend loaned me a bunch of plastic storage containers for keeping homemade baby food and I also invested in these glass containers that are freezer safe.
It’s perfect for serving to baby or to use in recipes.
For longer storage, I recommend freezing purees in an airtight container. I like using silicone ice cube tray or freezer safe jars because they make it easier to thaw smaller amounts for serving to babies.
Either way thoroughly rinsing your fruits and vegetables is an important step whether they’re organic or not.
Blend and add liquid until you reach the consistency you desire. You can make the purees smooth and thin for young babies or thicker and chunkier for older babies.
Place the avocado flesh in a high powered blender or food processor and blend until smooth.
Most babies start solids around 4-6 months, but I would refer to your doctor on when to introduce solids to your baby.
So I personally don’t recommend serving avocado with the skin on for baby led weaning. There are other ways to make avocado more grippy like dipping avocado slices in hemp seeds or shredded coconut.
Here are some ideas:
I love seeing your recipe shares!
Vitamin A is known to boost eye health and support the immune system. Carrots also contain vitamin C, iron, calcium and fiber, which can be helpful for normal bowel movements in babies.
The ice cube trays are great for younger babies who aren’t eating as much volume because you can defrost one cube at a time. While the 4 oz jars are great for older babies who are eating more than 1 oz at a time.
If you need to use it right away, you can thaw it using a water bath. Some people will recommend microwaving the frozen puree using the defrost seating but I prefer these two methods:
If using water, the water leftover from steaming or boiling the carrots works great.
And some studies have shown that certain antioxidants in sweet potatoes may protect against certain cancers. Bottom line? They’re SO good for you and delicious! Now you have no excuses to not incorporate them into your diet. (Source)
Use a fork to poke several holes in each potato – I usually poke 4 times for each potato! Place the potatoes directly on a baking sheet and bake at 400ºF for 60 minutes. Some people like to wrap their potatoes in aluminum foil but that actually steams the potato so just pop them right in the oven! You’ll know the potatoes are ready when they’re a little wrinkly and can easily be pierced with a fork. 
Reduce to a simmer and cook until tender, around 15 minutes.
This will result in a chunkier puree and is a great option when serving to older babies. 
For longer storage, I recommend freezing the sweet potato puree! I like using silicone ice cube trays and these 4 oz glass storage containers. The ice cube trays are great for younger babies who aren’t eating as much volume because you can defrost one cube at a time. While the 4 oz jars are great for older babies who are eating more than 1 oz at a time. 
Just bake your sweet potatoes, peel and blend until smooth! It’s a great first food for babies, but can also be used in baking recipes, mixed into oatmeal, added to smoothies or served as a side dish.
Melanie Custer, a pediatrician at Deaconess Clinic in Evansville, Indiana. “Breast milk or formula should continue to be the primary source of nutrition through 12 months.” 
But remember, you’re complementing your baby’s diet, not revamping it, so it’s OK to get a little creative and go with your gut. 
”
“That was always after they had their bottle.” 
All of this said, research on baby-led weaning is still fairly scant, so it’s important to discuss it with your pediatrician if you choose to take this approach. 
Single ingredients only and at a space of 4 days apart with introducing each new food. You may skip the cereal and begin with a fruit like avocado or begin with a veggie like butternut squash or sweet potato.
water
Some parents begin offering their babies solid foods by using their (clean and washed) finger as a spoon. They say that this helps their babies take to solid foods because the “new” spoon and the “new” food all at once seem to confuse baby.
If you feel this is the case for your infant, chunk the papaya and then steam for 5-10 minutes until very soft.
Prunes tend to become a pasty gluey consistency when pureed and the more water you add, the easier it is to puree to a texture your baby will tolerate.
If using Fresh Peas, open the pods and scrape out the peas from the pod. If using frozen of either Peas or Green Beans, cook according to package directions.
Check on water level while baking
Do not remove skins.
Of course, these recipes are also just yummy for babies who are older as well!
Their diet is dominated by fast carbohydrates: baked goods, sweets, desserts, juices, carbonated drinks; as well as fats: fast food, fried, fatty foods. At the same time, protein, fiber and water are very small.
And you need to take it as seriously as possible!
To form and maintain a good appetite, parents must clearly know: what, when and how to feed the child. 
By doing this, you will cause a strong emotional reaction that will slow down food arousal and reduce appetite. 
Try to develop these independent skills and abilities that are very important for later life in your son or daughter. How joyful it is to look at a baby who skillfully takes food from a plate with a spoon, without mistake brings it to his mouth and actively removes it with his lips. Something, of course, still pours from the spoon past and remains on the lips or chin of the child, but these errors in eating will soon pass, and the baby will learn to carefully eat the entire portion. Remember that a large amount of food contributes to a decrease in appetite, and an insufficient one does not cause a feeling of satiety. 
Malnutrition of a child older than a year will undoubtedly affect his health in the future. Injury by coarse food to the still unprotected mucous membrane of the child’s stomach, the stressed state of the organs of the gastrointestinal tract lead to the formation of early gastritis, enteritis, cholecystitis and other diseases. 
It is important that during the week the proposed list of products be used in baby food. Therefore, cheese can be used once a week and immediately in the amount of 20 g (3 x 7, say, give the baby vermicelli with grated cheese for breakfast. 
e., not more than 2 g per day) . Vegetable oil should be stored in a sealed container, protected from light and air. It cannot be boiled, so it is better to lay it in the finished dish. In the diet of children, it is not recommended to use refractory fats – beef, pork, cooking oil, and margarine. 
Fish is equivalent to meat in its nutritional properties, but, in addition, it contains trace elements important for the growth and development of the child (iodine, phosphorus, copper, etc.). Keto or sturgeon caviar should be treated with caution, as it can cause unwanted allergic reactions in children. 
But you can use their other types – semolina, peas, as well as pasta. The groats are boiled in water (oatmeal and buckwheat – for l ‘/g h, millet – 1 hour, semolina – 20 minutes), then unboiled milk is added, and after removing the porridge from the heat – butter and sugar to taste. 
Raw vegetables can also be used in children’s nutrition. At the same time, they must be thoroughly washed, poured over with boiling water, and then grated on a fine grater. Fruits and berries are best given fresh to a child, and raw juice should be added to a boiled fruit and berry dish. In the nutrition of children, you can use canned vegetables and fruits specially prepared for baby food, as well as compotes, juices, freshly frozen and dried vegetables and fruits. Boil vegetables and fruits in a saucepan with a lid to preserve as many vitamins as possible. 
0 
0 9000 Soup —150.0
0 
Thus, overeating, combined with a sedentary lifestyle, is one of the main causes of the disease.
The total amount of liquid, including first courses, up to 5-6 glasses per day.
– 150 
The fat that comes with food is consumed as an energy material, and it is he, and not carbohydrates, that helps to maintain the body in working condition for a long time. The weight of the child mainly depends on the amount of adipose tissue. In children, it is assessed not by body mass index (BMI), as in adults, but by centile tables. In them, the number of kilograms allowed for a baby is determined through indicators of his height, gender and constitution. It is difficult to use such materials, so it is better for parents to follow more understandable guidelines for assessing the weight of a child. For example, at the age of 4.5−6 months. there is a doubling of body weight compared to that which was at birth, by 1 year the weight is normally tripled, in the future the child adds 2 kg per year. If the baby fits into the given framework, then the amount of fat in his body is kept at the required level. 
Such changes, as a rule, are not too noticeable outwardly, are not accompanied by any disturbances in the functioning of the body, but are considered a factor that increases the child’s chances of developing obesity. When the readings on the scales significantly exceed the allowable age standards, the diagnosis of obesity is made. At the first stage of the disease, there is an excess of body weight by 29-30%, at the second stage – from 30 to 40% and at the third – from 50 to 100%. 
From the age of 1, an excessive amount of carbohydrates and fats of animal origin in the diet is responsible for excess body weight. 
The risk of developing diabetes mellitus, diseases of the cardiovascular system increases, the risk of formation of stones in the gallbladder and kidneys increases. To prevent the development of such complications, it is necessary to treat obesity as early as possible. 
So, for example, products for children 0−6 months. contain 1.2-1.7 g of protein per 100 ml of a ready-to-use mixture. If the package is labeled 6-12 months, then the protein level can be from 1.7 g to 2.2 g. This amount is enough for the child to receive all the necessary nutrients and keep the weight normal. Dairy products should be given in certain quantities. The norm of cottage cheese per day at 6-7 months. – 30 g, after 7 months. – 40-50 g. Kefir can be given after 8 months. in a volume of not more than 200 ml per day. 
The essence of the method is that food is facilitated by reducing carbohydrates and animal fats in the diet; the protein level is left at the recommended norm for age. Serving sizes for overweight children who are not on a low-calorie diet should be the same as for other healthy babies their age. 
Instead, you can give your baby an apple and unsweetened yogurt with you. If it is impossible to transfer the baby to a special diet, it is better to choose a short-stay group or abandon the kindergarten altogether. 
Zen. 
There is a lot of information on this topic, so the material will be presented in the form of brief abstracts. 
And milk will appear only on the 3rd-5th day after childbirth. 
It is recommended to feed so that the bodies of the mother and child are in contact. In case of any problems with lactation, if the baby does not have enough milk, if it is too low-fat or, conversely, fatty, it is imperative to contact a breastfeeding specialist 
An important point is that in the 3rd month of feeding, the mother may experience a lactation crisis. Transferring a baby to mixed or artificial nutrition is strictly prohibited. You need to put the baby to the breast more often. 
Also, mothers note a reduction in the intervals between feedings, dissatisfaction with the child and frequent attachment to the breast. This is considered normal, lasting no more than 3-4 days. 
This should be done for several months, bringing the amount of complementary foods to 30 ml (6 teaspoons) per day. It is impossible to give the child a daily allowance of complementary foods at one time. It is also not recommended to mix juices, but you can change them. Juices should be without pulp. 
If it is not enough and it is difficult to express on your own, you can use a breast pump (they are manual, mechanical, electric), but before that you need to find out the reviews of other mothers. 
When the child recognizes the taste of an apple, you can let him try an apricot, pear or banana. If no negative reaction follows, the fruit can be mixed. As for mashed potatoes, there are good options in stores for winter and spring, but in summer and autumn, when fruits are in abundance, it is better to cook homemade mashed potatoes. 
The amount of food eaten by the baby rarely exceeds 900 g per day, including formula and milk. 
Initially, dishes should be one-component. It is too early to refuse breastfeeding, and it should be present in at least two feeding sessions. You can start giving your child a spoon so that he gradually tries to eat on his own and gets used to it. 
It is allowed to increase the amount of chopped boiled meat as an additive to cereals (but only to cereals on the water) or mashed vegetables. The meat should be lean (chicken, beef, veal, turkey). You need to remain attentive to the reactions of the child’s body to new ingredients. 
New products continue to be added to the menu. So, fish are introduced little by little. To begin with, it is better to boil and grind low-fat ocean fish such as hake, pollock and cod, or river fish, for example, carp or pike perch. Naturally, you need to cook at home, be sure to check that there are no bones and peel left in the pulp (the peel and head can become the basis of fish broth). 
5 cm in height. 
Juices alternate with berry and fruit jelly with the addition of freshly squeezed juice. 
You can make some changes to each of them, but in accordance with certain requirements: 
Greens should be introduced very carefully. It is too early to give white cabbage, because. it is difficult to digest and absorb. Vegetables should be no more than 200 g per day, and specifically potatoes – no more than 150 g. 
The daily amount of salt should not exceed 1 g, and seasonings should be delayed. 
Most children quite calmly eat “from the common table” with their parents, because. they chew food normally, and the gastrointestinal tract is formed enough for stable work and digestion of even quite heavy food. 
It is not recommended that children eat foods high in sugar and fat. It is best to instill a healthy lifestyle and diet. Irrational loads and malnutrition can cause diseases of the gastrointestinal tract and kidneys, impaired metabolism, scoliosis, myopia and other ailments. A diet that contains all the food ingredients, vitamins and microelements that improve immunity, increase the body’s resistance, and positively affect the work of the central nervous system, intelligence and performance will help to avoid all this. 
There are many useful materials to be found. By the way, as an addition to the course you completed and this application, we strongly recommend reading the book by Pamela Druckerman “French children do not spit food”, which contains a lot of interesting and useful information about everything related to baby food. 
With constipation, on the contrary, you need to increase peristalsis and eat a lot of vegetables and cereals.
4 is recommended. With this diet, foods rich in fiber are not recommended. All dishes that cause rotting and fermentation are also excluded.
Baby sleep and temperament are so connected that it often requires some different strategies to get the sleep your family needs.
She couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stay asleep for long. I remember when she was about 10 months old, sitting up past David Letterman with a baby who was wide awake — not at all fussy. It was 1:00 am. “This isn’t normal either, right?” This was not at all like the books said it would be, but there we were.
You will need to be more consistent than you have ever been when you work on sleep. For older livewires, “just for tonight” does not compute. You need to have a plan and a routine that is clear and repetitive.
It’s a little like The Princess and the Pea. A tiny pea beneath a stack of mattresses was supposed to test for sensitivity. This is exactly what parents find when trying to get a livewire to sleep: the tiniest discomfort or issue with their sleep environment means that sleep is not going to happen.
The boo,k Understanding Your Baby’s Sensory Signals by Angie Voss, is a very helpful and easy guide to sensory behaviors.
Remember, you have to stay one step ahead of your alert, doesn’t-miss-a-thing child.
Just a reminder, I am not a doctor, so this is based on my experience, as well as my reading/research about temperament and how I believe it affects your baby’s sleep and what methods may or may not work well when it comes to sleep training. Remember sleep training is NOT cry-it-out! Let’s get started!
This means that from day 1, the way a YOUR baby reacts to being wet, hungry, tired, etc. may not be like your friend’s baby. Yours might be low-key and not get very upset or your baby may scream loudly. You are not making it up that your baby might not be “laid back”. You might wonder what you did or didn’t do to cause this. I remember one parent saying her husband thought her postpartum depression after the birth of their son caused their baby to not sleep well. What a burden to bear! Let me assure you, I did not have postpartum depression, was not depressed during pregnancy, or anything close to that and my son had a lot of sleep problems! You have no control over your baby’s temperament. You can only “blame” your genetics and they are still figuring out how it is all intertwined.
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For example, I know I am more prone to react to a negative situation with anxiety as I draw nearer to my menstrual cycle. This knowledge allows me to be in more control of my reactions. I can then use other methods to quell my anxious feelings. (Like meditation, certain herbal supplements, self-hypnosis, etc.) So instead of feeling like my anxiety has to rule my life, I feel as if I can have a lot of control of my anxiety.
An easy going baby will take well to any type of method, and its regular or intermittent implementation. Generally speaking, the more stronger willed the child, the more that child will benefit from extreme consistency on the parent’s part in implementing the training method.
All babies are different, because they are human. In fact, we are all born with different temperaments and our personalities start to shine through, almost right away!
My daughter doesn’t need anything long and drawn out, in fact we keep her bedtime routine quite short or she’ll just fall asleep on us (not a bad problem to have). 
They might be a lower energy and adapt slower. They do eventually get there but just at a much slower pace. 
It is evident in how babies react to the world, and how they express their emotions and needs (1). Temperament is biologically determined and has a big impact on a child’s development (2).
I know I should be grateful and maybe I’m not giving my MIL enough credit. Still, how do I lay boundaries to prevent my fears from coming true?
You don’t have to worry about any of the issues that come with traditional daycare, like unscheduled closings, inflexible hours, germs (and using YOUR sick days to stay home with a sick kid, only to get sick yourself with no leave left), rowdy older kids, and just that general nagging worry that your baby isn’t getting as much one-on-one attention as you’d like.
The value of free overnight childcare has diminished over the past couple years, because I feel like we end up paying for it in other ways.
), how much heads up will you need for said days off, and so on.
Photo by elebeZoom/iStock/Getty Images Plus.
My husband (who believes that his parents are heavy drinkers, but not alcoholics) has told them that they must not drink before or during babysitting, and they readily agreed; however, they have continued the drinking habits described above during visits with us even after that conversation.
Questions: Am I being unreasonable? Should his parents be given the chance to show that they can abide by a no-drinking-while-babysitting rule? Even if they can, is an absolute boundary against sleepovers and driving reasonable in these circumstances? And: Husband wants to go on this trip (and therefore will, I think, ultimately agree to care solely by my parents) but doesn’t want to hurt his parents’ feelings. How do we even begin to approach this while abiding by my husband’s preference not to discuss this massive elephant in the room with his parents?
It’s for Her Own Good.
If he refuses to do this, I’m afraid you are going to have to tell them yourself (and I’m sorry if that turns out to be the case).
com/_components/slate-paragraph/instances/cl5lh587u001l356plx8dbcdg@published”>— Michelle
”
Instead, try to take a deep breath and balance out the problems with all of the nice things they do that you appreciate. No seriously, rack your brains (kidding).
Whatever it is, you might have to bite your tongue and go with it.
Otherwise you’ll start floundering and your points will feel less constructive and more OTT.
She’s probably trying in her way to justify herself. Nagging can mean she thinks her advice is not being taken seriously or is being ignored (Parents, 2005).
Whether you have a fabulous relationship with your in-laws or a rocky relationship, it’s always tough when dealing with in-laws who don’t help with grandchildren — or even worse, toxic grandparents. Family dynamics and relationships can be tricky things to navigate, especially if the people that you’re dealing with are your in-laws, not your own immediate family. Throw little kids in to the mix and it’s an entirely different ballgame. Experts explain what to do when grandparents aren’t as involved in your kids’ life as you’d like them to be and how to set healthy boundaries so everyone can feel loved, happy, and fulfilled.
“On the not-so-serious end of things, it’s possible your child is simply at an age that their grandparents feel less comfortable with, or didn’t particularly enjoy parenting themselves,” she says.
“But, when grandparents seem to want little or nothing to do with their grandchildren it can be a painful and confusing experience.”
Which leads to the more serious end of the spectrum of reasons. “Finally, on the more serious end of the spectrum, you want to rule out any possible biases or prejudices a grandparent might hold that could be negatively influencing how they perceive your child,” Lear says.
Again, it’s essential to be sure your expectations are in line with your in-laws’ capacity. 
When it comes to grandparents, this usually shows up as telling their grandchildren damaging things about other family members. If you notice a pattern of consistently defying the boundaries you’ve made clear — that’s definitely problematic and could indicate toxicity in the relationship. 
I have to be honest with you. My wife (your daughter) asked, “Honey, should we leave a note for her?” and to be the strong one, I told her to trust you. That, Jesus Christ, you are the boy’s grandmother, and so on. The truth, though, is that we’re unsure, which is why you are finding this note wrapped around the liverwurst I know you love so much. My wife knows nothing about this.
(You’re not still thinking about moving down here, are you?)
Irrational: You can think of this one as featuring a pointless rant and futile reasoning. Example: Last time we were up to see you, my wife walked from our bedroom (your guest room, the one with the major draft in the window that I hope by now you’ve sealed up because I honestly could not stand to spend another night in that frigid box) to the bathroom in nothing but her T-shirt and underwear. You told her she was not to walk around the house that way. Remember? She said, “Why? I’m just going in the use the bathroom,” and you said, “I don’t have to tell you why. It’s my house and you’ll do what I say.” May I remind you that my wife celebrated her twenty-eighth birthday earlier this year? Irrational can’t happen because we are making it a practice of always explaining our reasoning to our son. Sure, he’s only two, but the kid’s a genius. He understands everything we say.
This concerns me. Our son (your grandson) enjoys roaming about the house discovering new things. Sometimes, he will put these new things in his mouth. Allow this to happen. We’ve childproofed our home, so there’s no need to overreact when our son roams a bit.
” Your concern is heartfelt, obviously, even if it doesn’t include a concern for my well-being. (Remember that time I told you that I never, ever forget?)
Parents can now use it as a checklist for checking potential candidates. 
Today it is an ordinary civil law contract. It describes the rules of conduct and duties of a nanny (for example, come to work without delay, maintain personal hygiene, keep the children’s room clean and tidy, children’s underwear, toys and personal belongings of the child; do not leave the baby unattended, and so on.). In this agreement, the parent is usually responsible for payment and additional payments (for joint vacation trips, cohabitation, overnight stays, processing, etc.). 
People who every day communicate with the still fragile minds and psyches of children, when they work in an organization, understand that they have a great responsibility. Why, then, when such a person comes to the family, the same rules do not apply to him? What is the difference between a child at school and a child who is forced to stay at home due to quarantine. The answer, it seems to me, is obvious. And the rules of the game should be equal for everyone. 
From November to February, we had eight of them, two became permanent. I’ll tell you how we find them and how much their services cost. 
These are people who are ready to sit with a child for a couple of hours. Sitters can pick up the child from the garden, take them to a circle, take a walk, and even go with the family to visit, a beauty salon or Ikea to entertain the baby while the parents go about their business. 
While the assistant is working with my daughter, I devote time to work. For me, this is not only income, but also a favorite thing, and also a way to keep my mind in good shape. 
Petersburg 
The most expensive order cost 4000 R: the babysitter came for 8 hours. 
For example, a sitter may be suspended from work on the first complaint of a parent. 
To place an ad, I go to the “Find a Sitter” section and fill out a form: indicate the age of the child, the date and time when help is needed, and the wishes for the order. 
If everything suits, then I confirm the invitation. If something is embarrassing in the performer, you can refuse it without explaining the reasons. 
I am ready to pay no more than 500 R per hour. 
If the sitter has younger brothers or sisters, he worked as an educator or counselor, I am calmer. 
If you are worried about whether the sitter will cope in a situation where the child is choking or injured, look for profiles marked “Passed the school of first aid for children” 
But I am anxious, so I carefully prepare for a meeting, especially with a new sitter. 
If you consider it necessary to install it, be sure to notify the sitter and take from him a written consent to filming – this is required by law. 
Do you know what to do in such cases? 
But so that he does not forget anything, I also give a pre-printed training manual or send it before ordering. 
Another time, my daughter learned to say “bye”. 
For example, one of my assistants has to be reminded to change diapers, well, okay – but my daughter loves to play with her. 
Right from the doorway I say: “Sit down, you can hang your clothes and bag here, and change clothes and wash your hands there. Come to our room when you’re ready.” 
You can also take the days of the week: I usually don’t care, but one of our regular babysitters is comfortable on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If help is needed for the whole day, then I warn about it at least a week in advance. 
12,000 R, and for the whole time – from November to March – we spent 35,375 R, plus 3057 R for a subscription to “Kidzout”. I don’t regret the money spent in the slightest: I compensated for it with my salary and managed to unwind, and my daughter learned to communicate with other people and played games that I myself could not have come up with. 
Only if nothing bothers you, carefully leave. 
For nannies, according to the Cabinet of Ministers, this is an opportunity to officially receive a salary, have experience and, accordingly, retire by age. 
Although hiring a nanny will be able, basically, families with an income not lower than the average. 
” 
But Anastasia says that there is no benefit for her and her colleagues in this. She is not thinking about retirement yet, and hopes that she will not work as a nanny for long. 
We live by unwritten rules,” says Anastasia. 
The government, when calculating compensation to parents, proceeded from the fact that the average salary of a nanny is UAH 8,000-10,000 ($293-367). But, for example, in Kyiv, nannies earn almost twice as much. We think: 5% of 16,000 (800 hryvnia – $29) plus a single social contribution is more than 1,700 hryvnia ($62), and government compensation does not compensate taxes. It turns out that it is more profitable for nannies with “capital” salaries to remain “in the shadows”. 
Therefore, it is not yet possible to predict whether the government’s initiative will encourage “shadow” nannies to go to work in official agencies. 
Support for the educational process in English and mathematics for schoolchildren (plus additional classes).
I know how to behave in cases of whims and tears, I can easily help the baby with homework and learning about the world, walking with him, playing. A lot of games, developmental games may interest a child if you know the approach to it.)
I can easily explain homework. Ready to accompany the child to kindergarten / school / sections / medical institutions / cultural events, sit, feed, work out (reading books, educational games, drawing). I am a responsible, responsive, stress-resistant and kind person. 
I have experience working with children.
Responsible, I know how to monitor children, I know the subtleties of how to establish communication with children. We will conduct developmental classes, prepare for school, monitor the completion of children’s homework and much more, whatever you wish.
I have experience working with children as a tutor. Looking for part-time jobs in addition to my main job. 
Everything worked out very well for us, the agreement suits everyone. 
. 
8 million taxpayers have been filed, nearly double the average and a sad record in 24 years of self-reporting. 
Ru 
5 years probation. And now it remains for the mother to take her son to psychologists. In addition, the child has increased intracranial pressure, which may affect its further development. 
Or vice versa, this act can play in defense of the nurse. Well, in the contract itself, first of all, you need to specify the amount of payment, days, hours of work, terms of payment for additional hours. Specify in detail that the nanny is responsible for a certain period. 
But such cases are rare. Usually, the conditions indicate: do not come in a state of intoxication, do not smoke, do not bring friends. This is what the nanny really must do. 
Now the court is relying on Article 56 of the Code of Civil Procedure. This is an evidence base, if it is not there, then only bare words remain. However, the nanny must be warned about video surveillance in advance: although this is her workplace, but at the same time – private life. And intrusion is not allowed, so the Investigative Committee can turn the materials of the recording both for and against you. 
This is because a baby sleeping on their tummy or soft surface dramatically increases the risk of suffocation and SIDS. 
UNICEF indicates that this time helps your baby adapt to the outside world and facilitates a bond forming between parent and child. 
e mouth and nose are not covered 
healthline.com/health/baby/baby-sleeping-on-stomach#bottom-line 
That doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. If they move themselves into a stomach-sleeping position — even before a year of age — that’s fine. More on that in a minute.
m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you. 
These include placing baby:
More on that in a minute.
m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you. 
These include placing baby:
m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you. 
These include placing baby:
More on that in a minute.
m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you. 
More on that in a minute.
m. when all you want for you and your baby is a little shut-eye. But in the end, the benefits outweigh the risks. And before you know it, the newborn phase will pass, and they’ll be able to choose a sleeping position that contributes to more restful nights for both of you. 
And someone will recommend putting the crumbs on the stomach from birth. 
Again, remember about the slightly bent and resembling the letter “C” spinal column of babies – that’s why it’s uncomfortable for a newborn to lie on his back for a long time, and even more so on a hard surface! The most physiological position is the position in the arms of the mother. Or a pose on the stomach with legs pulled up to the chest (it is closest to the intrauterine position). 
The time of wakefulness spent on the stomach is quite enough for a good impetus to the development and normal functioning of the digestive system. 
The essence of this terrible phenomenon is as follows. A healthy child dies during sleep, and no obvious signs of the disease are found at the autopsy. 
ru 
But never put your baby to sleep on your stomach0013 The safest sleeping position is the back position! 
This will help them to accept the baby and start to see that they are also a part of their life, in their role as big brother or sister. 
My wife died almost two years ago. I have recently started a new relationship with someone familar to my daughter (she has taken her shopping, babysat for her and so on before the relationship started), and my daughter is fond of her but since the start of the relationship she has been throwing wobblies.
While you can be sensitive to her, you also have to do what is important to you. She might be upset at times, but it is right as a parent to insist your daughter shows respect to you and your partner.
See solutiontalk.ie
The emotion arises from the fear of losing the love and attention of their parents and caregivers. It may also cause anger, anxiety, or resentment toward other siblings. In addition, children may have frequent disagreements or fights if they are jealous of a sibling or a friend.
Children may feel the newborn or the friend as the reason for this insecurity. They could suffer from depression when they do not get the desired attention and may develop inferior complexes in the future.
Jealousy could hamper adult relations, and many of them may not feel happiness in their lives. The fears and anxiety accumulated over the years may increase the risk of certain mental disorders. You may help your child to grow out of jealousy in childhood to avoid these consequences in the future (3).
They will divert their focus in the right direction.
It can develop long-lasting strains. These comparisons will make children conclude that “You love them more than me” or “You think they are better.” Never compare one child’s schoolwork, report cards, and test scores with their siblings or friends. They will not help your child to work harder. Instead, they fuel up resentment in them.
Your close involvement makes a huge difference for them.
Then she worked as a pediatric research fellow at the Center for Infectious Disease Research, Beirut, and did her pediatric residency at the Kansas University School of Medicine in Wichita. 
You could even try to persuade them to entertain their sibling with songs in the back seat if they’re upset in their car seat.
You could try to encourage your eldest to talk about any anger or jealousy they feel towards their younger sibling. These are normal emotions and it is better for them to talk about them than to bottle them up (Wallace, 2016).
Children might see sets of drawers as ideal climbing frames but they can pull over easily if unsecured. Children can also swallow, inhale or choke on items like small toys, peanuts and marbles (Rospa, 2018).
Warm, authoritative and responsive parenting helps children to manage stress. By boosting their confidence they will respond better to the change in their lives (JRF, 2007).
But – like them all – it will. And before you know it, they’ll be best of mates (and ganging up on you). Remember too that both your baby and toddler are gaining socially and emotionally by having a sibling (Hughes, 2011).
It can often feel as if you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Instead, encourage your teen to talk about why they feel this way and see if there are any solutions you can offer.
It can help to have your ex on board if they’re willing to help out – sometimes a child feels a sense of guilt for bonding with the person who they see as having taken their mother or father’s place. Your ex talking positively about your new partner and showing support for your new relationship can make a big difference to how your teen feels and acts.
Yes, this may have gotten off to a rocky start, but things can get infinitely better if everyone puts in a little effort.
I think she suffers from jealousy. Her little sister is the focus of her wrath. She encourages her younger brother to join in the meanness but luckily his heart isn’t in it.
The more cross they are with their sibling the more they get given out to by their parent; the more they get given out to, the more they may blame their sibling and the crosser, or meaner, they may become.
In this opinion, both father and mother were united. It looks like it really was. All the unpleasant feelings that they experienced at the reception with a psychologist could be summarized in one word – vulnerability. What happened in just two months from the beginning of the school year with their son, if the parents so painfully felt the uselessness of their authority? 
His parents did their best. With true American flair, they put on a real show for their child and his new friends in their chic apartment. And friends were impressed, impressed to the fullest by the capabilities of their new “overseas” friend, including computer and gaming capabilities. 
Now he reproaches us on almost every occasion when we cannot satisfy his next desire, ”the parents complained about their bitter life and at the same time about their ungrateful child. “Where did we go wrong? We tried to educate him correctly, by the strength of our example of honest and hardworking people. What have we not taken into account? Or maybe the whole generation of modern children is like that? These were the questions these parents asked me throughout our conversation. 
In contrast to this, he will certainly develop “black envy”, that is, such a form of comparing himself with another person, when the envious person does not experience anything other than anger in connection with the successes of another – up to the desire for his physical destruction, or, at least, all that associated with it. 
And in this case, the difference between the impact of black and good envy on a person is only in time. If with black envy one’s own personality is destroyed instantly, then with good envy, if it is abused, the personality is destroyed gradually, gradually. 
“He visits three serious clubs, he is already a candidate for a chess master, and at the same time he manages to study at a music school,” they admonished their son in the presence of a psychologist. Their son, obviously embarrassed, sadly listened to the moralizing of his parents, and then could not stand it and asked: “So, should I envy or not, dear parents? I’m kind of confused.” 
From emotions, knowledge and desires, cocktails of feelings are obtained. Envy is a feeling based on the emotion of anger. 
In order not to “lose” a child, it is better to seek help from a psychologist. 
Often, due to frustration, we see everything in black. Some need help to see the full picture. Tell us how you appreciate the help of the child and rejoice in his success. Remind him that on his birthday he got everything he dreamed of. Hint that new purchases can be timed to coincide with the next holiday or save money and buy for no reason. In the meantime, let’s make a wish list. 
So he commits unseemly acts under the influence of negative emotions. 
She understands that this is someone else’s birthday, that she will have her own, which means that they will prepare a bunch of gifts for her. 
My average son has a large group of friends about the same age as him (6-8 years old). Somehow, grandfather brought us a toy – a Kalashnikov assault rifle from Detsky Mir. Very beautiful, just like the real thing! And also a saber, a pistol and military ammunition. 
And the child, in order not to show his true feelings, demonstrates that he does not need it, and thus devalues. 
Therefore, if you yourself are jealous of friends or colleagues, be careful – the child can take an example from you. 
Adults want to help him, sometimes suppressing the negative manifestations of such feelings. Instead of relieving tension, they begin to forbid, get angry at the child. And the child does not satisfy his need for recognition and love from his parents, while the tension increases, ”the expert comments. 
However, with a child, this technique will not work. 
But if the feeling of envy begins to prevail over the others, then it can thoroughly ruin life. 
Healthy envy is a fleeting feeling in which both joy for a friend and a desire to repeat his achievements are mixed. 
To fix the spoiled parent-child relationship in some way, a long work is needed, it is advisable to connect a psychologist to it. 
This will not increase the child’s self-esteem and will not make him a leader among children, but he can become arrogant and snobby. Real authority is earned by deeds, not by expensive things or boastful stories – convey this idea to the child. 
Parents envy (neighbors, friends, actors, etc.) and children will envy. And it’s not surprising, because from all sides they offer you a bunch of “necessary” junk, with the help of which, supposedly, you will be happier. 
Moreover, there were few of them with them. 
well, rather indifferent, or something 
) A child’s feeling of envy can be recognized by the following manifestations: practical actions, imitation, criticism, ignoring or masking. 
d. 
No matter how much you tell him that this is a negative and destructive feeling, until you yourself stop envying others, your child will not stop doing this either. 
And the absence of some things for him will not be a difficult test, he will be happy that he is loved. 
Naturally, the most “cool” likes his privileged position, he gets used to it, and eventually grows up to be an arrogant and boastful person. Remember that true love and respect can only be gained by deeds and behavior, and not by expensive things. 
However, can there be any benefit from envy? 
The more specific and emotional your appeals to the child are, the clearer the child will understand what exactly he should value in himself. 
It is necessary to figure out whether the object of desire is a whim and a whim, or, indeed, is of some value to the child. If the family decides not to purchase this item, the child must be clearly explained why this is not possible at the moment. If the thing is of high value to the child, then you can offer him to earn it. for example, excellent studies, good behavior, etc. If the child has entered adolescence, you can offer to earn the desired item during the summer holidays. As a result, the child, on the one hand, will learn to work, and on the other hand, he will acquire the first skills of “earning” what he wants and begin to understand the true value of things. 
And vice versa: children with low self-esteem are constantly jealous. Therefore, one should not shame the envious. Such an approach will further reduce self-esteem, exacerbate the problem. 
On the contrary, indicate that the new toy is the property of the baby and no one has the right to encroach on it without permission. 
Maybe it will be a birthday or New Year’s gift. The kid should know: special dreams are feasible. 
To be self-confident, a small person must know his strengths! So don’t forget to talk about them. Try to use specific phrases. 
The exclamation “How ashamed to envy!” definitely doesn’t help the situation. 
.. About who is at risk of becoming a victim of parental envy and how it can be bled, psychologist Anna Khidiryan told. 
And the shame of envying your child can be overwhelming. Therefore, envy is easier to deny than to recognize in oneself or one’s parent,” , explains the psychologist. 
At first glance, innocent phrases give it away (compare with the example from the previous paragraph: “Where did you dig up this dress? It makes you look fat, and sewn carelessly – the thread sticks out”), as well as actions, deeds that the envious person diligently disguises as care, gives out for concern, sensible remarks . So, a person who has long wanted, but cannot improve his living conditions, having got to a housewarming party, will scold the owners – in person or to himself: “Oh, why did you buy an apartment in a disadvantaged area. And the layout is unsuccessful, and you missed the floor. And what wallpaper is tasteless – I would never stick such wallpaper for myself. He is not able to share someone else’s joy. 
And a salad with “incorrectly cut” vegetables – which, by the way, may be conjecture – will overshadow the rest of the treats for him”, – Anna Khidiryan describes the peculiarities of perception of an envious person. 
..” Or a woman is constantly unhappy with her husband: and his income is more modest than Bill Gates, and he promises to buy a mink coat only in six months. And the girlfriend received a fur coat as a gift as soon as she hinted – she was lucky with her husband … And you start asking the “poor thing” – and it turns out that the husband is devoted to the family, climbs out of his skin so that his wife and children do not needed. But the woman does not see this point-blank: someone else’s fur coat obscures her eyes. 
“Once parents, finding themselves with a child in a store, did not buy him a toy that he liked – and already an adult calls this episode the main memory of his childhood. And he constantly criticizes the “heartless” mom and dad, not taking into account that thanks to their efforts there were many other toys in the house. With whom he enjoyed playing, – Anna Khidiryan gives an example. 
A woman who has never aroused much interest in men, or has experienced betrayal, or has been in a destructive relationship (with an abuser, an alcoholic, a gamer, etc.), may unconsciously envy a more successful daughter. However, the line between envy and intense anxiety is very thin and not always obvious, warns Anna Khidiryan. 
When an adult envy a child more gifted than himself, he puts obstacles to the development of his abilities . For example, under a plausible pretext, he does not allow you to attend a circle or section: “To drive too far”, “You won’t have time to do your homework”. 
To heal her spiritual wounds, she enthusiastically sculpts a ballerina from her daughter. For such a mother, it is very important that the girl, called to fulfill her dream, demonstrates success. If the little ballerina is not diligent enough, a tyrant can wake up in her mother. And the refusal of a child to do ballet becomes a heavy blow, ” – says the psychologist. 
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Your consultation package also includes ample follow-up help, designed to help you troubleshoot problems and tweak your plan as needed.
Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.
Harvey Karp, MD, FAAP
It’s tough! But I’m here to help you get unstuck! As impossible as it may seem now, rest assured, you can get your baby to sleep soundly in their bassinet.
) (In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that they’re “unable to recommend bed sharing under any circumstances.”) Remember, you want your baby close to you when snoozing, which means in your room for at least the first six months—not on your body!
Here are the basics for getting your baby to sleep without being held:
)
And if your nugget dozes before you transition them from your body to the bassinet, simply rouse them gently with a light tickle until their eyes open. After a few seconds, your little one’s eyes will close again and slide back to sleep. While waking a sleeping baby seems counterintuitive, this strategy is the first step to help your baby learn that they have the power to self soothe.
A baby dealing with acid reflux may resist getting put down flat on their back to sleep, which is the safest position. To help, always feed your baby while they’re upright, burp them often, and then keep them in a sitting position for 20 to 30 minutes after a feeding, if possible. This allows gravity to keep stomach contents where they should be. (See how this, paired with paced bottle feeding, can reduce reflux.) If your baby is safely swaddled in SNOO and your doctor recommends elevation of the head, you can try elevating Baby’s head slightly with Leg Lifters, which offers a slight, safe incline.
After all, we already know that swaddling, rumbly white noise, and rocking are great sleepytime cues! So, think of SNOO as a one-stop sleep solution that safely provides three out of 5 S’s for sleep. (Plus, SNOO is incredibly helpful to especially finicky babies who love being held, in part, because they easily rouse at any little bump in the night.) Here are a few more reasons to choose SNOO:
Dr. Karp’s landmark methods, including the 5 S’s for soothing babies, guide parents to understand and nurture their children and relieve stressful issues, like new-parent exhaustion, infant crying, and toddler tantrums.
The little creature is sure to wake up when you lay them down in that cold crib, away from the bodily warmth that soothes them. And so it continues, the sleep-inducing trick that child sleep consultant Alexis Dubief calls “the human mattress.”
“But chances are, you’ll fall asleep when you’re in this position, and safety concerns become an issue.” Dubief admits that even she fell asleep with her own babies before she knew how “enormously unsafe” it is.
I understand I can unsubscribe at any time.**
With co-sleeping becoming more popular among parents, one of the main questions I (and many others) have is this one: Can babies sleep on their stomach on your chest? Or is it unsafe? Here’s what experts want you to know. 
Especially when the baby’s younger, you swaddled them up to a certain point, so this is almost like a like a natural swaddle, because they feel warm and safe.”
“It’s also bonding for the parents, not just for the baby,” says Agarwal. “For the adult this position creates bonding, which improves the relationship overall, because most parents and adults are sleep deprived those first few months. Bonding is extremely important for the adult to the baby, and the other way around, as well.”
914Z”>April 6, 2017
Don’t forget to do a few trial runs beforehand to make sure the surface doesn’t get too hot.
You can “trick” him to keep sleeping by laying your hand on his chest after putting him down.
Make sure there’s plenty of space for air to flow and that the blanket isn’t actually touching him. And, just like with a stroller, you’ll need to be awake to supervise.
For instance, the top of his head could touch the bottom of your arm, or you could simply scoot next to him so your bodies touch.
Hold him in the position you plan to place him down, keep him in a swaddle to make the transition easier, or place your hand on his chest.
Since the start of the campaign in 1994, SIDS rates have dropped by half, which is why it was chosen by the American Academy of Pediatrics as one of the most important achievements in children’s health in the past 40 years.
In 1975, it was a death sentence, but after years of research new medication combos, today 90% of newly diagnosed children are expected to live five years or more.
In children younger than a year, for example, the proper use of car seats has reduced deaths by 71%.
Even though we would benefit from parental education, some of us have never even held a newborn before having one of our own. And we often rely on advice from friends and family, much of it outdated or just plain wrong.
You should always wake your sleeping baby using a little technique called “wake and sleep.” It gently teaches your child the important skill of self-soothing. Here’s briefly how it works: Starting as early as the first day of life, wake him up the tiniest bit after sliding him into bed. Just tickle his neck or feet until his eyes drowsily open. Very soon after, he’ll drift right back into slumberland. In those few semi-awake seconds, he’s just soothed himself back to sleep – the first step toward sleeping through the night.
That’s a recipe for poor sleep.
There’s no need to rush it. In fact, having your new child sleep in another room is inconvenient (for feedings and diaper changes) and possibly dangerous. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies sleep in the parent’s room for at least six months (always on their back, in their own bed). The simple practice has shown to significantly reduce the rate of sudden infant death syndrome.
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Since sudden unexplained infant death strikes one in 1,200 babies, one would have expected hundreds or perhaps thousands of swaddle-related deaths over this period if wrapping caused these deaths. Of note, during the same eight years, 1,026 deaths related to sofa sleeping were reported to the safety commission.
In October 2016, my company Happiest Baby debuted Snoo, the world’s first responsive bassinet that employs this special swaddle, which clips to the base of the bed to prevent rolling. This innovation allows parents to reap the substantial benefits of swaddling for a full six months without any of the risks.
Babies just don’t sleep well on their backs in still, quiet cribs. And as discussed in myth 5, when babies don’t sleep well, parents resort to bed-sharing, which leads to many more infant suffocation deaths.
We designed it to deliver the right level of womb-like stimulation that is right for any particular baby to calm his or her fussing and boost sleep.
At night, he woke up five to seven times, I gave him a breast and he quickly fell asleep. 
They also advise how many times to feed a child at night during the first year of life, how many times he can wake up and at what age he acquires the ability to sleep all night long. If the baby rarely wakes up at night and gains weight well, you should not wake him up to feed him. And if more often, it may not be related to hunger at all. 
One cycle at this age lasts about 40 minutes, after which the child wakes up and, as it were, checks whether everything is fine. When the brain is convinced of this, the child instantly falls asleep further. But if something has changed, he may feel anxiety and not fall asleep: for example, if he fell asleep in his mother’s arms, and woke up alone in an empty bed. 
He is not one of those who can fall asleep with toys or on the potty, but one day we were just driving home in a stroller, and at the entrance it turned out that his son was already sleeping. I concluded that it was the frosty air and the slight rocking of the stroller that affected him. Many mothers note that in winter the child sleeps better on the street than in summer. Therefore, I try to ventilate and cool the room well before going to bed. 
We decided to sleep in the dark and turn on the night light when we need to change a diaper or feed our son. In the light, he woke up and began to cry, but then quickly calmed down and fell asleep. During the day, I just closed the curtains. Even before the birth, we bought them as a blackout, and I was sure that the room was dark enough. When I started working with a consultant at six months, it turned out that I was wrong. 
Therefore, we did not change the curtains, but added a blackout to the windows. 
This is a uniform background noise, similar to the sound of a waterfall. It hides other sounds. It is important to choose a comfortable volume, up to 50 dB – it’s like the sound of rain or water in the shower. There is no information that sleeping under these sounds is harmful, but I constantly saw a positive effect. 
08.20 
Now the crib is separate from our bed. I removed the roller from it when my son started to get up 
It is important that he is tired, but not overexcited and not overtired. At this stage, we usually eat, go for a walk or play, bathe the baby. Bathing can be relaxing for some children, but mine, on the contrary, is fun. 
The bridge should take up about a fifth of the total waking time. 
Now he falls asleep separately from me, lying in his bed. I listen to how he crawls on it, sometimes makes some sounds. I understand that the dream has begun only if the silence lasts a few minutes. 
Now my son falls asleep more often and prolongs sleep without lullabies. But sometimes you still have to sing if the son cries when going to bed, when he takes a walk or is overexcited – about once every couple of weeks. 
In order not to confuse whether his behavior is related to sleep, you need to compare the actions of the child with the time of his wakefulness and carefully observe him. Therefore, it will not work to build a regime in a day or two: most likely, it will take a week, maybe even two. It is important to work on the regime on ordinary days, without trips and guests, because any emotional load, even positive, can knock down both the time of wakefulness and the duration of sleep. 
But sometimes this is not enough and the child has short dreams or frequent night awakenings. Then it is worth working with associations for falling asleep. But only after making sure that the first three points are met, the child does not get sick and does not experience a leap in development. Such periods can temporarily impair sleep. 
The choice depends on your situation. All of them are described on specialized sites, for example, on “Sleep, baby.” 
This will allow you to understand the causes that affect sleep, and choose the optimal time to start each of the stages of the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness. 
Then you need to open the application and press some buttons. All this woke up the child and distracted him when he woke up. 
Column C shows the time that needs to be added to the time to get up from the next sleep to start the stage from column A. I enter only the time of getting up in cells B2, B6, B10, and the start time of the stage is calculated in column B automatically 
At the same time, there are a lot of good specialists who do not belong to any associations. My consultant is one of those. 
I subscribed to the specialist’s blog and began to slowly read posts, listen to free broadcasts. Then my son was two months old and I studied information for the future. When the child was five months old, his sleep began to deteriorate. Instead of the usual 4-6 nightly awakenings, the son woke up 10-12 times. Before a daytime sleep, he was capricious on his chest for half an hour, and it took an hour to rock him in a stroller. 
My husband gave me participation in it for my birthday. 
We also had great luck with Monica + Andy, specifically in the footless rompers.
I want pajamas that still look almost brand new after washing them 10+ times… Something you can hold onto if you plan to have multiple kids. Many of the Hanna jammies don’t have feet, so they will last longer on taller kiddos. (Update: Hanna now has their own brand sold only on Amazon, and the quality is just as good as the Hanna stuff!)
We love Hanna Andersson (basic leggings), Carters (only certain styles) and Petit Bateau (their own site is closed online but supposedly reopening soon for US shoppers.). We have also found that H&M’s leggings run fairly long compared to other brands and are an affordable price. Another brand that fits really well? Little Marc Jacobs! The skinniest leggings I’ve found are from Primary, and they’re almost too skinny in that they’re really tight around the ankle.
I can shop dresses here but that’s about it.). Cloud Island at Target isn’t a great fit, either- they tend to be short and wide, so they fall down on a small waist.
They are skinnier in the arms than a lot of other sweaters, which works well for a svelte baby! They also have a lot of pieces you can mix and match.
When I would go places with him, people would always make comments like…How old is he? How much does he weigh? What does his doctor say about him being so big? 
Just loosen the seam around the bottom of the sleeves and problem solved! Just stretch it out with your hands!
I tried getting bigger socks to fit his ankles but then they were too long on his cute, chubby little feet.
We would try bigger-sized shoes but then they would be too long. Then they were just floppy and looked like clown shoes. Haha! 
The pants were too long and the cuff didn’t fold up easily like the pants I listed above. 
My son went from wearing 3 to 6-month clothes to 18 months! Now my son is back on the growth charts for his weight!
However, once he started walking he lost weight. I stopped breastfeeding at 15 months too so that probably caused him to slim down some too.
The information for Amazon Prime Wardrobe is here. 
We build sizes that don’t exist.
My son is 6, has the waist size of 3T/4T but needs at least the length of a size 5. We are both excited to have a pair of great fitting pants! 
Thanks so much! We love our new pants!
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I have a lot of their rompers and got bibs recently as well.
JoJoMaman (cotton)
They recently also introduced a bamboo collection.
L.Bean Toddler and Baby Clothing
08 -2 894 ₽ 
92 – 2 533 ₽ 
running suit for boys basketball sportswear for fitness gym compression yoga wear running suit kids quick dry running suit 
77 – 1 855 ₽ 
15 – 1 465 ₽ 
-4xl 
60 – 1 606 ₽ 
, Sports kit. Long Sleeve Running Compression Wear for Yoga Fitness Gym 
These three factors will be present to varying degrees, always, in any weather: even when riding in spring porridge, in the April heat at the end of the season, even during the New Year holidays, in Scandinavia, with a serious “minus”. It is the right combination of clothes that will create the necessary level of comfort that guarantees pleasure. In addition, it should be noted that improperly selected clothes can lead to colds, which you don’t want to spend time on during holidays, vacations or the competition season. Any clothing associated with increased outdoor activity is selected using rule “layering” : from the bottom layer – thermal underwear – to the top, protecting from rain and wind.
Thermal underwear that is properly selected for the training temperature, even if it becomes wet, will still warm you in cold weather. You can easily find out the comfortable temperature range for using thermal underwear using the information printed on the package. Thermal underwear, which uses special antibacterial impregnations, weaving threads in several layers, merino wool, differs significantly in functionality, and if you want a warm and durable thing, it makes sense to buy just such models. 
If possible, take models with a zipper on the collar – for quick adjustment of thermal insulation in case of warm weather. 
“warm-up” set, which consists of a jacket and trousers. Elastic overalls or a set of “pants + jacket” are made of durable polyester and elastane threads. Important details in these models are the presence of a stand-up collar to protect the throat from the wind, lycra cuffs with thumbholes on the sleeves, additional inserts to protect the groin from cold and wind, mesh inserts in the armpit area for better ventilation and removal of excess heat. .
The design and insulation materials of ski vests are selected depending on the temperature of use: there are vests for very cold weather – with artificial insulation, the quality is close to goose down, there are thin vests – from one dense layer of elastic fabric with windproof properties.
Information on the increase in freedom of fit is in the general information on the model. 
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Often, the owners of this type of figure have beautiful sloping shoulders and slender legs. This allows you to emphasize the neckline, open the shoulders, as well as choose cropped lengths, an unusual cut in skirts and printed fabrics for trousers. 
In the classic Hourglass version, the difference between the hips and waist will be at least 30 cm. 
But doesn’t such a presentation border on infantilism? About women who are trying to seem younger both externally and internally, let’s talk with the psychologist of “Tomboy” Lyubov Rosenberg. 
Timma and Sedokova concluded that they were kindred spirits, so they scored on public censure and did everything to reunite. 
Sedokova screamed and blocked the door, and the man hit her on the arm and left. “It hurt my femininity very much, this little girl screwed up a lot afterwards. I was looking for a dad in each of my boyfriends, but I had to look for a man. Any element of the manifestation of care aroused in me great gratitude and a desire to give something to a person. But in fact, it was a basic concern, ”the singer admitted in the Together project. 
As a result, in adult life, all men must prove that they will not betray or abandon her, no matter how she behaves. As if there is a check “for weak”. Refusal to grow up, getting stuck in children’s behavioral reactions occurs unconsciously and is difficult to correct. 
For a long time two infantile people will not be able to live together, or when an emotionally adult partner consciously refuses to be an all-forgiving daddy. 
This is a tribute to the profession – The stars should shine. In addition, it is a huge work and material investment in your appearance to show your exclusivity. If we consider this phenomenon from the point of view of age psychology, then this is the fear of growing old, which means the fear of death. Because it is old age, as a time of withering, that really brings closer the decline of a career, and senile diseases, and the loss of interest in other people more than ever. Thus begins a marathon of running from old age, where both tight-fitting clothes and artfully toned skin are like stages of the race won. 
However, if we talk about Alla Pugacheva, then the reason for the evolution of her style into a more modern and bright one seems obvious: a young husband and small children. 
But we are so individual that in some patterns and rules there are more exceptions than confirmations. And the more extreme the evolutionary process accelerates, the more differences between people we observe. Society is divided into individuals, institutional fragmentation according to various criteria becomes more diverse and individual characteristics acquire special value. The inner child lives in each of us, when and through what it manifests itself – each person decides for himself. For one, this is expressed in appearance, for another – in behavior and requirements for loved ones, for the third – there is complete harmony with their childhood and permission to grow up without fear. The most acceptable for me is to allow myself to accept age-related changes and change my wardrobe to a more restrained one, but not to lose my fresh outlook on life, interest in everything new. To find beauty at one’s age, not to grow old in soul, developing internally, enriching and saturating the soul with kindness and acceptance, and the mind with new knowledge and achievements.
But this category cannot include public people, especially pop stars, whose image depends on the repertoire, on the requirements of the public, and on their own ambitions. They have their own dress code, stage image. We will not see them in this form in the subway or in the store. And Lyubov Uspenskaya, and Larisa Dolina, and Nadezhda Babkina honestly earned their right to be as they are. To please the public, to serve as an example for other women in self-care, in the restrictions that they impose on themselves in order to look like that. We just have to look at them, listen to their songs and have fun! 
Yes, they certainly do not look like the same person, but under certain circumstances and conditions it is really difficult to distinguish them. So right? 
Korean women pay great attention to their skin. If she has a bad look or acne, this is a sign of bad taste, and by the way, tattoos are not at all welcome here. The girl’s hair here is long, of any color, but not black. 
But lately, there has also been a trend towards fullness. Residents of China speak very emotionally and unrestrainedly, actively helping themselves with gestures. They are very impulsive, and during a conversation they can turn to screaming. 
Most Japanese women have a restrained and refined make-up, and they prefer clothes from expensive brands. 
To protect their skin from the sun, the Vietnamese go to drastic measures. If you saw a girl wrapped in heat from head to toe, this is Vietnamese. They even have special sun jackets that come with face masks. This garment has a hood, and very long sleeves that completely hide the arms. Masks are worn not only by women, but also by men, they believe that it protects their respiratory tract from dirty air. 
Teething is often the cause of lost sleep for both the child and the parents. Try letting your child settle down on his/her own, or if necessary, soothe your child back to sleep rather than create a habit of nighttime feedings that will be hard to break after teething is complete.
Some bleeding may occur but is not harmful to your baby.
Be sure to consult your doctor if you are unsure of the recommended dose.
It is a good idea to schedule an appointment with your pediatric dentist at the first sign of tooth eruption or by age 1, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
If your baby has a temperature above 100.4 F and has diarrhea, you should definitely speak to your doctor.
This is most likely because of the discomfort. 
Some different types of fruit you could try include chilled apples, pears, or strawberries. It is a good idea to monitor your baby at all times and make sure your infant is old enough to try these treats.
They may bring up small amounts of milk along with air when they are burped. Reflux, also called spitting up, posseting or regurgitation, is very common in newborns.
Burping your baby over your shoulder may put too much pressure on their stomach.
You may not realise your experience and emotions can be perfectly normal for your situation but this is where the Reflux Infants Support Association (RISA) Inc can help.
You may not realise your experience and emotions can be perfectly normal for your situation but this is where the Reflux Infants Support Association (RISA) Inc can help.
For more information, please visit the links below:
It’s a big deal for the baby and the parents. The American Dental Association provides a great tooth eruption chart for reference. If your little one has teeth coming in early, that’s okay. What’s important is that your child visits the dentist within six months following the eruption of their first tooth.
So, how can you tell if your baby is teething? Some babies feel no pain, while others may have pain and tenderness that lasts for several weeks. A baby may show one or more of the following signs if they’re teething:
If your baby is on a nursing/eating strike, it may be a teething symptom as eating can irritate sore gums. If you’re concerned that your baby isn’t eating enough, check in with your pediatrician.
A warm bath and gentle rocking may also help to calm and relax the child.
You can also start teaching your child to spit while brushing.
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Drooling may begin long before the teeth come in and persist long after, however.
However, it is best to consult a doctor before using any new products, especially near the baby’s mouth.
It is best to use soft, non-irritating cloths.
However, salvia that remains in contact with the skin can cause irritation and lead to a rash.
See our article on what to do if your baby has a temperature.
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Pediatrics. 106(6):1374-1379. Available from: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/106/6/1374?ijkey=bb123f57… 17th September 2018].
It is another matter with babies: they have an involuntary flow of salivary fluid, and children cannot yet control this condition. Drooling usually continues until the baby is 18 to 24 months old. The process is very common during teething, so moms and dads should be prepared for the fact that the baby will have saliva everywhere: on clothes, things, toys. 
In this regard, he may not swallow saliva, which leads to increased salivation. 
Medical care is needed for those children who are no longer babies: they are older than 4 years old, and saliva still flows like a river, and it is not possible to keep clothes dry without a bib. 
Even the dependence of teething in infants on the region of residence has been established. So, in the northern regions of Russia, there is a frequent deviation from the average terms towards a later eruption of [1] . 
But some babies may have non-specific symptoms [2] : 
, Maykova I. D. Teething syndrome in infants: a new look at an old problem 2018 // https://www.rmj.ru /articles/pediatriya/Sindrom_prorezyvaniya_zubov_u_mladencev_novyy_vzglyad_na_staruyu_problemu/ (Accessed 05/28/2020). 
There are also cases when the temperature lasts for 5 or even 7 days, and the temperature can rise and disappear completely after a few hours. 
Very rarely it appears along with the temperature, but still happens. This may mean some kind of intestinal infection brought by the baby with the help of toys; 
Only the child needs to be dressed according to the weather. You need to walk calmly so that he does not overwork. 
If the necessary measures are not taken, the skin will first turn red, and then a rash will appear on them. 
In addition, salivation can be detected only during sleep (nocturnal ptyalism), which is the result of malocclusion, diseases of the upper respiratory tract, gastritis and other factors. Increased salivation often occurs in pregnant women in the early stages due to changes in the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract and hormonal changes. 
However, it is better not to self-medicate (especially since folk remedies do not solve the problem) and consult a doctor. After collecting an anamnesis, checking the act of swallowing and the state of the oral cavity, as well as calculating the amount of saliva secreted, a treatment regimen is determined . 
In especially difficult cases, they resort to irradiation or removal of large salivary glands. Elimination of increased salivation in children has some features, for which speech therapy massage sessions are additionally recommended to normalize the act of swallowing. Prevention ptyalism at any age is the prevention of development or timely treatment of diseases that provoke it. Adults also need to choose the right diet and not abuse bad habits. 
Once a month they come to control. If you want to receive a complex of turnkey services with a guarantee of quality, call us, our managers are constantly in touch! 
They have all the conditions not only for the high-quality performance of all procedures, but also for maximum patient comfort. 
And her defects seem funny and harmless to many parents. “Voice of Cherepovets” went to the specialists of the Cherepovets Center for Psychological, Pedagogical, Medical and Social Assistance to find out whether it is necessary to go to a speech therapist with a child under three years old and how early speech development methods and “talking” toys affect this very speech? 
– For example, he does not turn his head in response to questions: “Where is dad? Woman?” And also does not respond to his name. 
Thus, the use of techniques aimed at overcoming lagging speech development for teaching normally developing children is unlikely to contribute to advanced development, it can only help the child more fully learn the norms of his native language. It is better to start any classes according to a certain methodology after a preliminary consultation with a specialist. 
Having studied the possibilities of one toy, the child demands another one from his parents, and when mom and dad buy an ordinary doll, a car, a soft toy, he does not like them. The kid is already used to “independent” toys that entertain him in different ways. And here you need to roll the car, imagine how it flashes its headlights, etc. 
Only a specialist – a pediatrician or pediatric dentist can prescribe an ointment or gel to relieve pain, while a preliminary test for allergic reactions is mandatory. Although ointments and gels with lidocaine (Kamistad, Calgel) are sold without a prescription, it is impossible to lubricate the baby’s gums without checking, because if the baby is allergic to lidocaine, the baby may experience anaphylactic shock. For allergy sufferers, the doctor prescribes a special Baby Doctor ointment or others. 
In the case of a longer rise in temperature, an examination of the baby and a doctor’s consultation are necessary. 
At first I thought it was dangerous, but as time went on I just let him be, because at first he wasn’t doing that. I think over time he will learn to stop himself.
Must look for a “CERTIFIED” Lactation Consultant” NOT just go to your local gp
As they grow, the muscles mature, and drooling stops before their second birthday. 
If you have been feeding her spicy foods and acidic fruits like citrus fruits, cut back on them and observe any drooling changes. 
You might notice red rashes or bumps under the baby’s lower lip, the chin, and sometimes the neck.
She has been on writing on pregnancy, parenting, motherhood, and the realities of raising babies for the past four years. She’s worked with Woman Junction, BabyGaga, The Talko, The Things, as well as other sites. For inquiries, please email 
As our babies get a little bit older and have a couple of months under their belt we start to blame any disruption in sleep patterns, unexplained crying, fever, diarrhea, runny nose, etc., etc. on teething. Knowing what to expect when your child’s first teeth are erupting through their gums will help you understand what is going on and how best to make your baby feel better.
There is great variability in the timing of teething. If your child does not show any teeth until later in their first year, don’t worry. The timing is determined by heredity, and it does not mean that anything is wrong.
For a lot of babies teething is a painless process.
That is because teething stimulates saliva, so be prepared.
If you use a teething ring, chill it in the refrigerator, NOT the freezer. 
Remember not to put your baby to bed with a bottle because the milk or juice can pool in your baby’s mouth and cause tooth decay and plaque. 
Remember, regular childhood dental care helps set the stage for a lifetime of healthy teeth and gums.
Some children get teeth sooner than that, and other children get their first tooth much later. Whatever their age when their first tooth appears, you can expect the first tooth to arrive will be one of the bottom front teeth. Once your baby has cut their bottom incisors, the next teeth to appear will be their four top teeth.
Molars tend to be painful because of the broad flat surface breaking through the gums. As with earlier teeth, managing the discomfort is key to getting your baby through this uncomfortable time.
Here are the main symptoms that have been proven:
Another example is meningitis.
They are not approved by the FDA at any age.
Schmitt Pediatric Guidelines LLC.
Most kids have all 20 of their primary teeth by their third birthday. (If your child’s teeth come in much slower than this, speak to your doctor.)
Don’t use them if your child has not yet started solids. And make sure to watch your baby to make sure that no pieces break off or pose a choking hazard.
The remaining primary teeth may then crowd together to attempt to fill in the gaps, which may cause the permanent teeth to come in crooked and out of place.
A good time to start flossing is when two teeth start to touch. Talk to your dentist for advice on flossing those tiny teeth. You also can get toddlers interested in the routine by letting them watch and imitate you as you brush and floss.
5 liters of saliva per day. Otherwise, certain disturbances in the functioning of vital systems may be accompanied by salivation – increased secretion of saliva, or in other words, hypersalivation. Also, excessive salivation in a child can be called ptyalism or sialorrhea. 
The formation of the first teeth begins deep in the gum. Overcoming the way up, they injure the gum tissue, which causes a lot of pain, which is why the child sucks his fist and always puts his fingers in his mouth. Saliva helps soften the gums, thus reducing the pain experienced by the child. 
Plus, a large amount of saliva secreted can provoke a cough in the crumbs. 
It also describes the measures that can be taken to somehow alleviate his condition: 
At home, you can rinse your mouth with a solution of soda 
When the functioning of the reflex sensorimotor arc is disturbed, as a result of a distortion of sensitivity, or in other words, with hypoesthesia, the flow of information from the oral cavity does not reach the brain. This leads to the fact that the number of involuntary swallows during the day decreases, which means that the amount of saliva increases. 
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It would seem that the first teeth in babies usually appear around 6 months, and there is still too much time before that. The baby’s gums are not swollen, and in general there are no signs of dentition in the mouth. However, teething can disturb a child from 2 months of age. At the same time, the baby will experience a lot of unpleasant sensations associated with their movement in the gums, and you will not notice anything for a long time, except for abundant saliva on his face. 
Of course, in this case, abundant saliva will not be the only sign of the disease, and an experienced doctor will be able to immediately determine that something is wrong with the child. 
Although the baby does not yet see teeth until 6-8 months, the process itself begins very early. That’s why around 3 months of age, a baby’s saliva is overproduced: the teeth begin to break through the gums. 
What can this be about? 
Saliva helps keep your mouth healthy. 
Babies will use their hands to feel drool and cook raspberries to explore the sensations on their lips. 
But there is nothing to worry about, since salivation is part of his physical development. 
Saliva also helps bind food because of its smoothness, which makes it easier to swallow. 
However, it is not normal for them to drool when they are 2 years old. If your baby is drooling even after two years, don’t take it lightly. You should consult your doctor as this requires medical attention. If your child is drooling heavily, see a doctor immediately as it may affect his social life and his daily activities. If your baby has a lot of drool, the doctor will look for the following signs to come to a conclusion and suggest treatment for it. 
Talk to your child’s doctor – they may recommend therapy or medication. However, if therapy or medication fails to provide relief, you should consider a higher level of treatment. 
So when your baby is ready to start eating solid food, he will start to drool more! 
Drooling becomes a social stigma when it continues beyond infancy. It’s also unhygienic – an important issue since your son attends group activities such as preschool. 