Baby sleeps only on my chest: I’m going insane, newborn will only sleep on my chest : NewParents

Опубликовано: September 23, 2022 в 11:12 am

Автор: alexxlab

Категории: Baby

Is co-sleeping safe for babies? We asked the experts – TODAY

As a new mom, there’s nothing like having your baby close to you when you sleep. But is co-sleeping with a baby under a year old safe? That may depend on what baby co-sleeping means to you.

About 3,400 babies in the U.S. die suddenly and unexpectedly every year while sleeping, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). There are serious risks to some forms of co-sleeping, but many parents choose to co-sleep, at least occasionally, so it’s important to understand what the risks are and how to minimize them if you do decide to co-sleep with your baby.

Bed-sharing with baby

For many parents, co-sleeping means sharing the same bed as their baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the CDC both advise against sharing a bed with children under a year old because bed-sharing increases the risk of suffocation, strangulation and SIDS in babies younger than 12 months of age. In 2019, 28% of all sudden unexpected infant deaths (SUID) were caused by strangulation and suffocation in bed, according to the CDC.

“We may not be able to prevent all SIDS deaths, but we can minimize the risks,” Michael Goodstein, MD, a neonatology physician at WellSpan Health in York, Pennsylvania, and director of the York County Cribs for Kids program, told TODAY Parents. “Suffocation and strangulation are environment-driven problems that can be prevented.”

There are several things that make co-sleeping bed situations with adults and babies dangerous. For example, when you’re sharing the same bed, it’s possible you could roll over onto your baby while sleeping. Your bedding could also obstruct the baby’s breathing or cause overheating. There are also conditions that can make bed-sharing with babies under a year old even more dangerous, according to the AAP, such as if:

You’re bed-sharing with a baby that’s younger than 4 months old.
The baby was born prematurely or with a low birth weight.
The sleep surface is soft or has soft bedding like pillows, comforters or blankets. This increases the risk of SIDS by 20 times. Soft bedding is the single biggest SIDS risk factor for infants 4-12 months old, according to Dr. Goodstein.
Anyone sharing the bed is a smoker (even if you do not smoke in bed).
The mother of the baby smoked during pregnancy. (These babies are more than twice as likely to die of SIDS, according to a study published in April 2019 in the AAP journal Pediatrics.)
Anyone sharing the bed has taken medicines or drugs that may make it harder to wake up.
Anyone sharing the bed drank alcohol.
The person sharing the bed is not the baby’s parent.
The bed surface is soft, such as a waterbed, old mattress, memory foam, sofa, couch or armchair.

Sleeping with baby on your chest

As tempting as it is to catch a quick nap with your baby asleep on your chest, it’s a big risk. Sleeping on a couch, armchair or recliner with an infant increases the risk of SIDS death by up to 70%, said Goodstein. An adult could crush and smother the baby or the baby could become wedged between the adult and a cushion and be forced to rebreathe air (breathe in more carbon dioxide than oxygen), until it asphyxiates.

Sam Hanke, MD, a pediatric cardiologist at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and the founder of Charlie’s Kids, an organization that promotes safe sleep practices, learned this the hard way. As a new dad, Dr. Hanke fell asleep on a couch with his three-week-old son Charlie on his chest. Although Hanke woke up, his son Charlie didn’t, according to the organization’s website. It’s safe for your baby to nap on your chest as long as you remain awake and aware of the baby. But if you fall asleep too, it raises the risk of injury (or death) to your baby.

Sharing a bedroom with baby

Another form of co-sleeping with newborns is room-sharing. The AAP does recommend that babies sleep in the same room as their parents for the first six months — and ideally for one year. How do you safely co-sleep in the same room as your baby? Put the baby to sleep in a certified crib, bassinet or play yard in your bedroom. Use a fitted sheet on the mattress, but don’t add blankets, pillows, crib bumpers or stuffed animals. When safe co-sleeping guidelines are followed, this co-sleeping practice of room-sharing can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and prevent suffocation, strangulation or the type of entrapment that could occur when the infant is sleeping in the adult bed.

“We want babies close to us so we can hear if they get into trouble or accidentally roll over or get on their side and get in trouble,” Carolynne Harvey, a baby sleep consultant for 4moms and founder of Dream Baby Sleep, told TODAY Parents. If you’re in the same room, it’s easier to monitor and comfort your little one.

Room-sharing is also a convenient option for breastfeeding moms. Not only is it a short distance to get to the baby, it can help them continue breastfeeding, which can be further beneficial, since studies suggest that breastfeeding may reduce the risk of SIDS by 50%.

Breastfeeding in bed

It’s not uncommon for overly-tired mothers to breastfeed their infant in bed. In fact, the AAP recommends breastfeeding in bed over breastfeeding on a chair or couch because it’s a safer option if mom falls asleep and the baby slips out of her arms. Since a baby’s head is twice the weight of its body at birth, young infants don’t have the strength to reposition their head. If the baby’s nose leans against a surface like a pillow, a wall or a mattress, or even the mother’s body, it could lead to suffocation.

To reduce the risks of suffocation and overheating, breastfeeding moms should create a safe zone for the baby. Before bringing the baby into bed to nurse, all blankets, comforters, pillows, nursing pillows, and loungers should be removed from the area where the baby will be.

If you do doze off while feeding your baby, place baby on his back in his own crib, bassinet or other certified sleep device as soon as you wake up.

How to choose a safe crib, bassinet or play yard

The AAP also recommends that babies sleep in cribs, bassinets, portable cribs like a Pack ’n Play or play yards that are certified by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC).

Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing a certified sleep device:

The crib, bassinet or play yard should have firm mattresses with a snug fit — no more than two fingers width of space between the mattress and the side of the crib or device.
A firm mattress should not mold to the shape of the baby or allow them to sink in too deeply.
No matter how firm the mattress feels to you, don’t add a mattress topper if your baby is younger than one year.
Before purchasing a mattress or sleep device product, make sure it has not been recalled.
Cover the mattress with fitted sheets made specifically for that device.
Remember, there shouldn’t be anything else in the crib with your baby.
Finally, don’t put baby to sleep in a crib with drop sides or one that was manufactured before June 2011 when the current safety standards went into effect.

Free portable baby cribs

Anyone in need of a safe crib should be able to get one. There are local non-profit organizations throughout the U.S. that provide low-income new parents (or those expecting a baby) with a certified sleep device so their baby has a safe place to sleep. For a state-by-state listing of these organizations, visit We Have Kids. com or Cribs for Kids.org.

What you need to know about other baby sleepers

There are a number of sleep devices that are not endorsed by the AAP because the organization doesn’t have the data necessary to make a recommendation for or against them. These include bedside sleepers (those that are attached to the side of the parent’s bed) and in-bed sleepers (portable containers for baby that go in the parents’ bed).

It’s important to note that bedside sleepers that have one side that folds down pose risks for entrapment and suffocation. If a baby’s head goes over the half-side of the sleeper, it may suffocate if it cannot lift its head off the side. Bedding from the adult bed can also spill over into bedside sleepers, which could cause overheating, suffocation, strangulation or SIDS.

On June 2, 2021, the CPSC banned a range of sleep products that have accounted for at least 90 infant deaths. One of these types of products, inclined sleepers, puts the baby on a substantial incline of up to 30 degrees, which could cause an infant’s head to slump down, the chin to rest on the chest and compress the airway, and potentially lead to suffocation.

Other banned products include baby tents, small travel beds and portable bassinets. Manufacturers of these products have one year to conform to the same federal standards as cribs, bassinets, bedside sleepers and play yards. In the meantime, these items are still on the market, so beware. Your safest bet is to choose only those devices that are recommended by the AAP and certified safe by the CPSC.

Baby Won’t Sleep in the Bassinet? Why and What to Do (Complete Guide)

It can be so physically and mentally exhausting when your baby won’t sleep in the bassinet. In these scenarios, usually your baby prefers to sleep on you or in your arms. At first you might have found this adorable and loved the cuddles, but as the weeks fly by you’re finding yourself being held captive and having other things that need your attention.

2 Reasons Putting Baby to Sleep in a Bassinet Is Important:

Safe Sleep. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, your baby should sleep on a firm, flat surface which is a bassinet, crib or pack and play. This safe sleep guideline helps to minimize the risks of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,)
Long Game. When it comes to your newborn sleep we often don’t really know what we’re doing 🙂 and we’re so in love with our precious little person that we promote sleeping in arms. However, when it comes to baby sleep you want to think about your long game. Where do you want your baby to sleep when she’s 8 months? Ultimately she’ll need to be contained in a safe environment for sleep. That means introducing that environment now when preferences and habits are being formed.

4 Reasons Why Your Newborn Won’t Sleep in the Bassinet

I’ve worked with many parents who have babies who will only sleep in arms. Their ages vary from 4 weeks up to 13 months. I recently worked with a 2.5 year old who would only nap in arms. Why is that? While the drive to sleep is biological, the way we sleep is a learned habit and these habits start as early as 4 to 8 weeks of age. During that window of time you are teaching your baby what sleep looks like. At 4 months babies hit the 4 month sleep regression where they wake up to the world around them. This manifests with waking up more at night and taking shorter naps. If your baby will only sleep in arms this becomes a very trying time.

Seeking Comfort

It seems to me that some kids fight to sleep in arms more than other babies. My first question for babies who only sleep in arms is probing any circumstances that might have led them to seek the comfort of human touch more than the average child.

These circumstances include:

Reflux – silent reflux and true GERD

Parents are often directed to hold baby upright in arms after feeding
Reflux can be aggravated by being on their back – sleeping on someone often has the baby on an angle

Gas – sensitive digestive track
Mom having low milk supply/tongue tie or latch challenges

Being Overtired

When I was going through this I had no idea that babies have “awake times” that help guide a parent to know when they should be sleeping. I kept watching my son for “cues” that he was tired. I wasn’t very good at it really. I kept mistaking the signs of fatigue for hunger and I would nurse him. He was more tired than hungry and kept having a short feed and then falling asleep at the breast. This is very common. In addition many parents have a naptime or bedtime that is too late and when they try to put their little ones down in the bassinet they refuse. They are overtired and cry at pretty much everything. If your baby is overtired it’s probably not the best time to try the bassinet again.

Habit

The third reason babies refuse to sleep in the bassinet is because of habit. Often parents have an underlying condition that might have been overlooked such as reflux and these babies wanted to be in arms more than average babies. Or perhaps parents have been told to hold their baby upright after feeding and baby dozes off. In these cases baby learns that falling asleep happens in arms. In the newborn stage often this transfer to the crib or bassinet is feasible but as baby hits the 2 month mark she becomes more aware and rejects the transfer. She wakes and cries as soon as her toe his the mattress. Sleep is a learned habit, so she’s learned it happens in arms.

Anxious parents

When my son was born I NEVER wanted to hear him fuss or cry and wanted him to be the happiest boy around. So I never let him fuss at all. I always picked him right away. After helping hundreds of parents teach their little ones to sleep I can tell you one of the best things you can do in the early months is “be an observer.” You may put your little one down in the bassinet and he is allowed to express that he would prefer to still be in your arms. You can offer him comfort, touch and love while he’s in the bassinet and help him settle there. You don’t have to pick him up instantaneously. There’s nothing wrong with 3-5 minutes of fussing and can help you BIG TIME in the long term.

When my daughter was born I was determined to do things differently than with my son. I also knew what children were capable of. I loved watching HGTV in the afternoons with her sleeping on my chest. But I was also able to put her down in the crib for 2 to 3 naps per day while I offered her comfort. She would squawk, sometimes cry for a few minutes but the tears didn’t rattle me like they did the first time. I knew no harm could be done of her crying for a couple of minutes with me right beside her patting and soothing her verbally. Being patient and being an observer I learned to know her different cries and meet the root need, rather than muting them with the boob as I did with my first child. With my son I always picked him up right away and because of that he never wanted to sleep in the bassinet and sleep was a battle.

‍

4 things you can do to help your baby sleep in the bassinet.

It is super frustrating when your newborn will not sleep in the bassinet. Here are 4 things you can do to help your baby sleep in the bassinet.

Work on the first nap of the day in the bassinet. This is usually the easiest nap to get a baby down for. Try the pick up and put down method to help make it happen. Put them down offer comfort with touch and verbally shsh.. Give your baby 2 -3 minutes to settle, if they are getting wound up, pick them up and calm them and then try again.
Focus on the timing of sleep. Most newborns need to be back to sleep between 45 minutes and 1 hour up to 2 months and about 1.5 hours in the 3rd month. If you surpass this time (except before bed during the witching hour) it can be harder to get your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Swaddle. Swaddling can help your little one settle more easily as it mimics the womb and decreases limb activity which can be distracting.
Move the bassinet a few feet away from your bed. Sometimes having them so close can be distracting for both of you to sleep. Move it a few feet away.
Be an observer. Give the bassinet a few minutes to work with your comfort.

Conclusion

If your baby is less than 8 weeks of age you want to be taking notes and observing your baby’s behavior to see if there could be reflux or gas at play making her uncomfortable and seeing your comfort more than the average child. If not, there is still time to work on getting your baby to sleep in the bassinet and introducing this new sleep space. For babies 4 months and older, if she will only sleep on you, you will likely have to do some “sleep teaching” to teach your baby that sleep can happen in a different way and work on undoing learned behavior.

If you want to grab my baby sleep timing chart click here:

Safe sleep for your baby

Topics

In This Topic

KEY POINTS

Safe sleep can help protect your baby from sudden infant death syndrome (also called SIDS) and other dangers, like choking and suffocation.
Put your baby to sleep on his back on a flat, firm surface, like in a crib or bassinet. Do this every time your baby sleeps, including naps.
Put your baby to sleep in his own crib or bassinet. It’s good to share a room with your baby, but don’t share a bed.
Don’t use sleep positioners, like nests or anti-roll pillows. They can cause your baby to stop breathing.
Keep crib bumpers, loose bedding, toys and other soft objects out of your baby’s crib.

What is safe sleep?

Safe sleep means putting your baby to sleep in ways that can help protect him from dangers, like choking and suffocation (not being able to breathe), and sudden infant death syndrome (also called SIDS). SIDS is the unexplained death of a baby younger than 1 year old. SIDS usually happens when a baby is sleeping. It’s sometimes called crib death because the baby often dies in his crib.

How much sleep does your baby need?

Newborns sleep about 16 hours a day, usually in 3- to 4-hour periods. Your baby needs to eat every few hours, which is why she doesn’t sleep for longer periods of time. Your baby may get cranky or overtired if she doesn’t get enough sleep.

Don’t be surprised if your baby can only stay awake for an hour or two. Over time, her body gets into a sleep pattern. She starts sleeping for longer stretches, even during the night. If you’re worried about your baby’s sleep, talk to her health care provider.

Where should your baby sleep?

The safest place for your baby to sleep is by herself in a bassinet or crib. If you have multiples (twins, triplets or more), put each baby in his own bassinet or crib. Here are some do’s and don’ts about making your baby’s sleep space safe:

Do’s

Do put your baby to sleep on his back on a flat, firm surface, like a crib mattress covered with a tightly fitted sheet. Use only the mattress made for your baby’s crib. The mattress should fit snugly in the crib so there are no spaces between the mattress and the crib frame. The mattress shape should stay firm even when covered with a tightly fitted sheet or mattress cover.
Do put your baby to bed in his own crib or bassinet. Don’t bed-share. This is when babies and parents sleep together in the same bed. Bed-sharing is the most common cause of death in babies younger than 3 months old. Keep your baby’s crib close to your bed so your baby’s nearby during the night. The American Academy of Pediatrics (also called AAP) recommends that you and your baby sleep in the same room, but not in the same bed, for the first year of your baby’s life but at least for the first 6 months
Do make sure your baby’s bassinet, crib or play yard meets current safety standards. Visit the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to learn more about product safety standards or product recalls.
Do remove hanging window cords or electrical wires near where your baby sleeps. Babies can get tangled in them and choke.
Do keep the room at a comfortable temperature. If your baby is sweating or his chest feels hot, he may be overheated.

Don’ts

Don’t use sleep positioners. These sometimes are called nests or anti-roll pillows. They often are mats or wedges with pillows on either side to help keep your baby in place. The Food and Drug Administration (also called FDA) warns that sleep positioners can cause babies to die because of suffocation.
Don’t let your baby sleep in a carrier, sling, car seat or stroller. Babies who sleep in these items can suffocate. If your baby falls asleep in one, take her out and put her in her crib as soon as you can.
Don’t put your baby to sleep on soft surfaces, like a waterbed, sofa, soft mattress or cushion.
Don’t keep crib bumpers, loose bedding, toys or other soft objects in your baby’s crib. They put your baby in danger of being trapped, strangled or suffocated.
Don’t use cribs with drop-side rails. Don’t put portable bed rails on a regular bed. Babies can get stuck in rails and choke. Don’t try to fix a crib that has broken or missing parts.

How do you put your baby to sleep safely?

Here’s how to help keep your baby safe when you put her to sleep:

Put your baby to sleep on his back every time until he’s 1 year old. It’s not safe for a baby to sleep on his side or tummy. If your baby can roll from his back to his side or tummy and back again, it’s OK if he changes positions while sleeping.
Dress your baby in light sleep clothes. Remove any strings or ties from his pajamas and don’t cover his head. A blanket sleeper can help keep your baby warm without covering his head or face. It’s safe to swaddle your baby for sleep until he can roll over onto his tummy. But once he can roll over, stop swaddling. A swaddled baby who is placed on or rolls onto his tummy while sleeping may be more likely SIDS. Swaddling is when you snugly wrap a light blanket around your baby so that it covers most of his body below the neck.
Give your baby a pacifier. Pacifiers may help protect against SIDS. If you’re breastfeeding, wait until your baby is 3 to 4 weeks old or until she’s used to breastfeeding before giving her a pacifier. If your baby won’t take a pacifier, don’t force it. It’s OK if the pacifier falls out of your baby’s mouth during sleep. Don’t hang the pacifier around your baby’s neck or attach the pacifier to your baby’s clothing or a stuffed animal. Give your baby a pacifier for naps and at bedtime.
Don’t use home cardiorespiratory monitors as a way to reduce the risk of SIDS. These monitors track a baby’s heart rate and breathing. Some babies need this kind of monitor because of medical problems, but this is rare. There’s no evidence that the monitors help reduce the risk of SIDS in healthy babies.

How does breastfeeding affect safe sleep?

Breastfeeding for at least the first 6 of your baby’s life can reduce your baby’s risk of SIDS.

It’s OK to breastfeed your baby in your bed. Before you start feeding, move any bedding and pillows from your bed in case you fall asleep. If you do fall asleep, move your baby to his crib or bassinet as soon as you wake up. Breastfeeding your baby in bed is safer than on a sofa or cushioned chair.

Babies often fall asleep while breastfeeding, especially when they get full. If you think your baby’s asleep and hasn’t finished feeding, try to wake him gently by rubbing his back, tickling his feet, burping him or switching him to the other breast. If your baby’s not latched on correctly, he may fall asleep. You can break the latch by putting your pinky finger in the side of his mouth. Ask your lactation consultant to help you make sure your baby has a good latch. Latch is when your baby’s mouth is securely attached to the area around your nipple for breastfeeding.

Are there other ways to help reduce your baby’s risk of sleep dangers, including SIDS?

Yes. Here’s what you can do:

Make sure your baby gets all her vaccinations. These shots help protect her from serious childhood diseases and may help prevent SIDS. All children should be vaccinated for their own health and so they don’t spread infections to others.
Don’t smoke and keep your baby away from other smokers and secondhand smoke (smoke from other people’s cigarettes, cigars and pipes). Babies who live with smokers are at increased risk of SIDS. Keep your home and your car smoke-free.
Don’t smoke, drink alcohol or use harmful drugs during pregnancy. Babies of mothers who do these things are at increased risk of SIDS.
Go to all your prenatal care checkups during pregnancy. Babies of mothers who don’t get regular prenatal care are at increased risk of SIDS.

Can a bedtime routine help your baby sleep?

Yes. Your baby’s sleep schedule changes over time, but sticking to a routine can make bedtime easier for the both of you. Start setting a bedtime routine when your baby’s around 4 to 6 months old.

Here’s how to get your baby ready for bedtime:

Wind down any playtime fun.
Turn off the phone, television, etc.
Give your baby a warm bath.
Softly stroke your baby’s back.
Give your baby a pacifier.
Sing to your baby or play soft music.
Read your baby a bedtime story.

Stick to your baby’s sleep routine as much as you can. Plan ahead if your baby’s routine may need a temporary change, like if you’re going out of town travel or attending family parties. Change his bed time the best you can but try to get back to his schedule and routine as soon as possible.

What is tummy time?

Tummy time is when you put your baby on her stomach while she’s awake. It can help make your baby’s neck, shoulder and arm muscles stronger. It also helps prevent flat spots on the back of your baby’s head that she may get from sleeping on her back. Always watch your baby during tummy time or make sure an adult who is awake is watching your baby.

Last reviewed: February, 2019

‘)
document.write(‘

Feeding your baby

‘)
document.write(”)
}

Sleep in Infants (2-12 Months)

What to expect

Infants sleep between 9 and 12 hours during the night and nap between 2 and 5 hours during the day. At 2 months, infants take between two and four naps each day, and at 12 months, they take either one or two naps. Expect factors such as illness or a change in routine to disrupt your baby’s sleep. Developmental milestones, including pulling to a standing and crawling, may also temporarily disrupt sleep.

By 6 months of age, most babies are physiologically capable of sleeping through the night and no longer require nighttime feedings. However, 25%-50% continue to awaken during the night. When it comes to waking during the night, the most important point to understand is that all babies wake briefly between four and six times. Babies who are able to soothe themselves back to sleep (“self-soothers”) awaken briefly and go right back to sleep. In contrast, “signalers” are those babies who awaken their parents and need help getting back to sleep. Many of these signalers have developed inappropriate sleep onset associations and thus have difficulty self-soothing. This is often the result of parents developing the habit of helping their baby to fall asleep by rocking, holding, or bringing the child into their own bed. Over time, babies may learn to rely on this kind of help from their parents in order to fall asleep. Although this may not be a problem at bedtime, it may lead to difficulties with your baby falling back to sleep on her own during the night.

Safe Sleep Practices for Infants

Practice the ABC’s of safe sleep: Babies should always sleep Alone, on their Backs, in a Crib. Place your baby on his or her back for every sleep, night time and nap time.
Do not put your baby to sleep on his side or tummy.
Once your baby can roll from his back to tummy and tummy to back, your baby can stay in the sleep position that he assumes. But always place your baby to sleep on his back.
Place your baby on a firm mattress in a safety-approved crib with slats no greater than 2-3/8 inches apart.
Make sure your baby’s face and head stay uncovered and clear of blankets and other coverings during sleep. If a blanket is used make sure your baby is placed “feet-to-foot” (feet at the bottom of the crib, blanket no higher than chest-level, blanket tucked in around mattress) in the crib. Remove all pillows from the crib.
Create a “smoke-free-zone” around your baby.
Avoid overheating during sleep and maintain your baby’s bedroom at a temperature comfortable for an average adult.
Remove all mobiles and hanging crib toys by about the age of 5 months, when your baby begins to pull up in the crib.
Remove crib bumpers by about 12 months, when your baby can begin to climb

For additional safe sleep practices for infants including information and video on choking, making a safe home environment, resources, swaddling and tummy time, click here.

How to Help Your Infant Sleep Well

Learn your baby’s signs of being sleepy. Some babies fuss or cry when they are tired, whereas others rub their eyes, stare off into space, or pull on their ears. Your baby will fall asleep more easily and more quickly if you put her down the minute she lets you know that she is sleepy.
Decide on where your baby is going to sleep. Try to decide where your baby is going to sleep for the long run by 3 months of age as changes in sleeping arrangements will be harder on your baby as he gets older. For example, if your baby is sleeping in a bassinet, move him to a crib by 3 months. Always practice the ABC’s of safe sleep: Babies should always sleep Alone, on their Backs, in a Crib.
Develop a daily sleep schedule. Babies sleep best when they have consistent sleep times and wake times. Note that cutting back on naps to encourage nighttime sleep results in overtiredness and a worse night’s sleep.
Encourage use of a security object. Once your baby is old enough (by 12 months), introduce a transitional/love object, such as a stuffed animal, a blanket, or a t-shirt that was worn by you (tie in a knot). Include it as part of your bedtime routine and whenever you are cuddling or comforting your baby. Don’t force your baby to accept the object, and realize that some babies never develop an attachment to a single item.
Develop a bedtime routine. Establish a consistent bedtime routine that includes calm and enjoyable activities that you can stick with as your baby gets older. Examples include a bath and bedtime stories. The activities occurring closest to “lights out” should occur in the room where your baby sleeps. Also, avoid making bedtime feedings part of the bedtime routine after 6 months.
Set up a consistent bedroom environment. Make sure your child’s bedroom environment is the same at bedtime as it is throughout the night (e.g. lighting). Also, babies sleep best in a room that is dark, cool, and quiet.
Put your baby to bed drowsy but awake. After your bedtime routine, put your baby to bed drowsy but awake, which will encourage her to fall asleep independently. This will teach your baby to soothe herself to sleep, so that she will be able to fall back to sleep on her own when she naturally awakens during the night.
Sleep when your baby sleeps. Parents need sleep also. Try to nap when your baby naps, and be sure to ask others for help so you can get some rest.
Contact your doctor if you are concerned. Babies who are extremely fussy or frequently difficult to console may have a medical problem, such as colic or reflux. Also, be sure to contact your doctor if your baby ever seems to have problems breathing.

Adapted from: Mindell JA & Owens JA (2003). A Clinical Guide to Pediatric Sleep: Diagnosis and Management of Sleep Problems. Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.

Parents Gamble With Infant Sleep Guidelines

Hi all, thanks for reading my article this morning on baby sleep recommendations. I’m excited to answer any questions you may have on the topic. Please note that I’m not a medical doctor—I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism—so please run any concerns you have about your baby by your pediatrician. That said, I did a ton of research and interviews for this piece and I’m happy to share what I learned. Perhaps just as relevant, I have a 9-month-old daughter so I’m in the same boat as many of you out there. Let’s have at it.

Since rolling over, my 8 month old rarely sleeps on his back, but I’m thinking that at this stage, the potential for SIDS is decreasing. Is that right? My other concern is what should be the temperature in the baby’s room at night? We have an old house and it’s been a struggle to maintain a cool temperature on the second floor. What should I be aiming for?

You’re absolutely right: the rate of SIDS peaks between 1 and 4 months of age and is uncommon after 8 months of age. There’s no need to run in and flip your baby onto his or her back.

Regarding the temperature, the AAP just says to “keep the room at a temperature that is comfortable for an adult. ” Have you tried a fan? Besides keeping the room cool, babies also seem to like the white noise.

It’s already pretty warm in D.C., so my baby has been sleeping in a onesie and one of those cotton Halo sleep sacks. She seems comfortable and is sleeping through the night. I stress about her temperature sometimes too, but it helps to remember that if she’s ever uncomfortable, she isn’t shy about letting me know.

—
May 08, 2012 11:03 EDT

My daughter slept on her tummy and she was fine. She could not get any sleep on her back. But of course I also kept an eye on her all the time and did not have anything around her. I know some parents that don’t keep an eye on their baby unless they cry and even then some want them to cry themselves to sleep no matter what. In that case, they should have them on their backs. I don’t understand how some parents expect a baby to just be ok on their own so the parents can get some rest. Pediatricians fail to mention all the love baby needs to be happy rather then trying to tell you how to put your baby to bed.

I hear you re: the extreme emphasis doctors put on the sleep recommendations. My husband and I took a “Newborn Basics” class at the hospital when I was pregnant and it felt like a whole list of things you’re not allowed to do. I remember thinking, “It sounds like they want us to put our baby to sleep in the middle of the kitchen floor.” But SIDS is a terrifying thing, so we erred on the safe side and mostly followed the sleep recommendations (I cheated and gave her a light blanket sometimes). The doctors are just trying to keep the babies safe.

—
May 08, 2012 11:04 EDT

Hi Rachel, have you heard about Rachel Moon’s latest study (from DC) showing moms who swaddle are about 1/2 as likely to put baby to sleep on the stomach as moms who dont swaddle. The key to safe sleep is laying babies on their backs…and using swaddling and white noise to boost baby’s sleep so parens arent tempted to use an unsafe sleep location/position.

No, I haven’t read that study yet, but it makes a lot of sense to me. The popularity of swaddling seems to be a direct response to the Back to Sleep campaign. On their backs, newborns tend to startle or hit themselves with their arms (which they can’t really control yet, poor things!). Swaddling helps prevent this.

—
May 08, 2012 11:07 EDT

Once the infant can roll over, can you stop worrying about putting them to sleep on their backs?

The experts I interviewed said to put your baby on his back until he’s 1 year old. That said, if he’s strong enough to roll to his stomach, you can leave him in that position for the night.

—
May 08, 2012 11:07 EDT

Do you think it’s possible that pregnant women and new mothers (not to mention the super conscientious gals who follow “pre-pregnancy” health guidelines) get so many warnings about so many things–warnings without a clear indication of how rare or common problems actually are, warnings without an indication of how likely it is that a bad event could be due to something they did or did not do, and frankly some warnings that are as much about society’s expectation of the mother role as about safety–that by the time they have a several month old child, they are experiencing warning fatigue?

Absolutely. I think these constant warnings are a hallmark of modern American parenting. My daughter has warnings on everything– her crib, her bedding, her teething biscuits, her lotion, you name it. It kind of drives me nuts, but at the same time, we want to keep our babies safe. It’s a tough balance.

—
May 08, 2012 11:08 EDT

It’s shocking to me that despite all the warnings, parents put their own comfort ahead of the safety of their baby. Apparently it hasn’t been made clear enough that you cannot know which infant is vulnerable.

I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a parent putting his or her own comfort over the baby’s safety. I’m not sure what you mean–putting the baby on its stomach so that the baby (and therefore the parents) get more sleep? Or bed-sharing, or…? Please clarify.

—
May 08, 2012 11:09 EDT

Thank you for taking my question! My husband and I are expecting our first child in July (YaY!). 20 years ago, when my husband was in high school, his girlfriend got pregnant. At two weeks old the baby died of SIDS. I have no idea how they had her sleeping. My question is, how worried should I be about an increased likelihood of SIDS? Is there ANY genetic predisposition? Am I worrying needlessly?

I haven’t heard of any genetic link to SIDS, but that sounds like a great question to ask a pediatrician. The bottom line is that as a new mother, you’ll probably be a little worried about SIDS no matter what, and all you can really do is follow the sleep recommendations.

Congratulations on the baby! You have so much fun ahead.

—
May 08, 2012 11:09 EDT

I recently put a crib bumper in my baby’s crib after he started rolling over and getting his legs and arms trapped between the slats. He would frequently get both legs stuck in the slats (rolling over while sleeping) and wake up shrieking and flailing because he couldn’t roll back over. Our crib is new and meets safety specs, so it’s not an issue of having a shoddy or inherently dangerous crib. I know crib bumpers are bad, safety-wise, but are they still bad for babies who are able to roll over?

Oof, that’s a tough one. I’d ask your pediatrician for advice. One of my mom friends had exactly the same problem and she bought these new breathable mesh bumpers. Have you seen those?

—
May 08, 2012 11:12 EDT

Do the rules change at all for naptime? Sometimes I let my baby sleep on her stomach when I’m watching close by.

Alas, the same rules apply for naptime.

—
May 08, 2012 11:17 EDT

What do you think about babies sleeping on their side? Is this normal?

My baby just started sleeping on her side a couple of weeks ago (she rolls there after we put her down on her back). It’s normal, but make sure to keep putting your baby down on his or her back until they’re 1 year old.

—
May 08, 2012 11:18 EDT

A paramedic friend ran a call where an infant had wedged her head into the bumper padding around the crib and suffocated. I’m sorry, but the bumpers serve no useful purpose. An infant hasn’t got enough force to hit his/her head against the crib in any dangerous way. They are decorative and dangerous. The same for soft pillows. Most babies will never be harmed, but why risk your precious one?

That’s a horrible story and a good argument against crib bumpers.

—
May 08, 2012 11:23 EDT

Our darling daughter did not sleep through the night until she was over 2 years old. Really, I did not care where and how she slept. She first slept on my chest with me propped up in bed. Who cares about the naysayers of sleeping with your child! I got about 2 hours of sleep that way. Later, she was in our bed and I got 3 hours of sleep. She was sleeping on her side. Later when she began to crawl, still in our bed, she slept on top of us, on our pillows, feet on top of my head, propped up and laying like a drunken sailor on my husband. Heck we didn’t care, I was finally getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep on a good night. I really could not get into the parenting bed argument because the dirty little secret is that parents will do anything to get some sleep. Truthfully, if she had kicked the dog out of his bed and I got 8 hours of sleep, she would have been sleeping on the dog bed. The sad thing is that the dog and the baby were the only ones getting a good night’s rest.

Ah, the desperation of a sleep-deprived parent. That’s one thing that’s so crazy about this issue: parents are making these decisions about their babies’ sleep at 3 a.m., in the dark, when they’re just desperate for their own zzz’s. I get why it’s tough to follow the recommendations.

—
May 08, 2012 11:27 EDT

As my son is far from infant stage, I’m curious why some babies are put down on their stomachs? He’s 7 now, and Back to Sleep was in full force already when he was born. He slept through the night at 3 months and always slept on his back– always.

It sounds like you had an excellent little sleeper! Some babies don’t sleep as soundly, or for as long. That’s when parents start getting creative with the sleep recommendations.

—
May 08, 2012 11:31 EDT

Great article, Rachel. There can’t be too much information about such a sad and serious issue. I don’t have a question but wanted to pass along something I wish someone had told me before I had my son:
Sleeping on their backs is a very unnatural position for babies who have been all curled up and comfy in the womb for so long. So don’t expect a newborn to take to sleeping on his back right away. It may take a few days or weeks. Every baby is different, of course, but we ended up practicing back-napping during the day to get our little guy used to it. Yes, that meant a few days and nights of him sleeping on his side or stomach, but he finally got it after a while and became a terrific back sleeper … until he learned to roll over, that is!

This is more of an observation: I think the downside to so many recommendations and so much research is that parents begin to rely on it versus their own instincts and observations. These days, parents read endless books, blogs, etc., and once they get their baby home, they realize most of it doesn’t apply to their situation or causes them so much confusion they lose confidence and become like helicopter parents (even w/ infants). Personally, I familiarize myself with the “official” guidelines and latest research, but I also trust myself and spend time getting to know my newborn’s behaviors and capabilities (e.g., when she’s able to lift and turn her head). That, plus a pediatrician who you trust, are a great path to successful, somewhat stressfree parenthood.

That sounds like a very sane, balanced approach. I like it.

—
May 08, 2012 11:37 EDT

I read a study (actually a few) that talked about some newborn babies not having developed the reflex to start breathing again once they stopped for whatever reason (I’m not a doctor so my explanation isn’t great). So they suggested having a fan (ceiling or otherwise) on while they are sleeping, because the constant moving air will stimulate them to continue breathing. Since we did not want to do the pacifiers at all for both of our kids, having ceiling fans on helped me to have a better peace of mind.

That’s really interesting; I haven’t heard that theory. I thought the fan was just to keep the room cool, since there’s a link between SIDS and overheating. I know a lot of the SIDS research right now is about babies’ automatic functions like breathing, heartbeat and body temperature. Scientists are looking into whether SIDS victims had pathway deficits in those regions of the brain.

—
May 08, 2012 11:37 EDT

There is a movement in the medical community (I’m a Pediatric Emergency doctor) to delineate the difference between SIDS and a mechanical suffocation. An infant who dies lying face down, didn’t suffer from SIDS. That baby likely suffocated. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve seen “near misses” where a child stopped breathing because he or she was sleeping in an unsafe environment (on top of an adult bed, surrounded by toys, with a parent on a couch, etc). And I’ve declared dead babies who weren’t noticed in time. Once a baby can roll, they are thought to have the strength to lift their head if needed. My kids became stomach sleepers the second they learned to roll. But always start on the back. An adult may love a fluffy comforter, but babies don’t! Put your baby on its back only in a crib and keep toys and blankets out.

Thanks for chiming in, doctor!

—
May 08, 2012 11:39 EDT

I find it disturbing how much bed press this gets. My babies slept with me (in a king-size bed) until they were nearly 2. There was a side bar, and I woke up the second they stirred. Our sleep cycles were synched, I rolled over and latched them on, and it was really secure and peaceful for them. There was never any crying at night, nor did I have to get up. The only reason I could see this is a problem is if the mother is a super-heavy sleeper, obese, or on drugs. So many studies support the benefits of this practice, yet it’s generally looked at as horrific in this country.

Bed-sharing is a very controversial issue right now, with loud voices on both sides. I can definitely understand the appeal, but there’s also a risk that comes with it. It depends what amount of risk you’re comfortable with and what works for your family.

—
May 08, 2012 11:42 EDT

The “experts” come up with something new and new parents jump to obey. I agree that the statistics on SIDS and back sleeping seem meaningful, but generations of babies slept on their tummies. Ditto the blanket/no blanket, cool room/warm room discussions. New parents should not let themselves be fussed into a panic.

Parents jump to obey because the stakes could not be higher: the health and safety of their babies. I agree that the sleep recommendations can seem extreme, even hysterical, and new parents definitely don’t need more stress in their lives. But I don’t think the recommendations should be written off.

And–if I may–send a message to new grandparents: please support your children’s decision to put their babies on their backs, even if you think stomach-sleeping would be better! My mom kept rolling her eyes and making snide comments about “back to sleep” and it was not helpful nor empowering to me as a new parent.

—
May 08, 2012 11:48 EDT

A breathable bumper is fine to use but once your baby starts to pull up and stand in his/her crib: take it out! They can learn to step up on it and try and launch themselves out of the crib.

My daughter rolled over before we stopped swaddling her and we were so nervous about her inability to move her arms and legs to get herself back on her back we slept on the floor by her crib for several days before finally just unswaddling her (she had been breaking out regularly anyway). If your baby is strong enough to roll over, shouldn’t we stop swaddling so that a baby can develop the strength to roll back over onto his/her back? Also, wouldn’t a loose
swaddle pose an additional SIDS risk?

It sounds like you made a good choice to stop swaddling your daughter. I don’t know if there are any real guidelines about when to stop–we stopped when my daughter started breaking out of it regularly (2 or 3 months old). Good question about the loose swaddle being an additional SIDS risk. I don’t know the answer though! We always had those special swaddles with the velcro (I think they’re made by Summer Infant). They’re alarmingly like baby straightjackets!

—
May 08, 2012 11:58 EDT

Thank you, Rachel, for bringing up a great point! My mother was also judgmental about our decision to put the kids to sleep on their backs. I found with my kids that it never, ever, ever helps if we heap scorn and judgment on parents. It only alienates them and makes them avoid you.
A (somewhat) related example: when attempting to Ferberize our firstborn, he would cry until he made himself throw up. Repeatedly. Almost all night. After several nights and countless loads of laundry, we abandoned Ferber. My sister has not let me forget that to this day, and blames any issue he has — a bad grade at school or a fight with his sister — on my son’s failure to be Ferberized.
I don’t visit with that sister often.

That’s horrible about the Ferberizing, both that he would throw up and that your sister continues to judge you for it! Sleep training is such a touchy issue.

—
May 08, 2012 12:01 EDT

I baby sat my great-niece for the first 14 months of her life, just a little while ago. It was a little nerve-wracking being in charge of such a helpless little gem. Putting her on her back to sleep was the only way for me, and getting all the loose stuff away from her so that nothing could get in the way of that tiny nose! Her head was a little flat for a bit, but when she had the strength to turn herself it adjusted to a normal curve. And during the day she could sleep on her tummy against my chest where I could feel her breathing just fine. Until those neck muscles are strong enough to move the head, I really don’t think putting them on their stomachs is a good idea.

Thanks for being here, everyone! Good luck with your little kiddos.

Rachel Saslow

Rachel Saslow is a former Washington Post editorial aide. She lives in the District with her family and writes about parenting and health topics.

{{item.pubDateTime | date}}

Next: {{recentShows.NextShow.pubDateTime | date}}

Sleeping safely | Ready Steady Baby!

For the first 6 months of your baby’s life the safest place for them to sleep is in a cot in the same room as the person looking after them, for all sleeps.

Sadly, every year a small number of babies die suddenly and unexpectedly in their sleep. Sometimes a cause is found, such as an underlying health condition, but often there’s no obvious reason.

You may hear the term sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) which used to be called cot death.

Sudden infant death syndrome

SIDS happens most often during sleep at any time, day or night. Doctors don’t yet know what causes it but it’s most likely to happen in the first 6 months. Babies born early and underweight, and twins or multiple babies are more at risk.

What increases the risk of SIDS?

SIDS is at increased risk of happening if you:

sleep with your baby in an armchair or on the sofa
share a bed with your baby and you or your partner smoke
share a bed with your baby and you or your partner have been drinking alcohol or have been taking drugs
smoke or smoked when you were pregnant or lived with someone who did

SIDS is at increased risk of happening if your baby:

is put on their tummy or side
gets too warm
sleeps on a soft mattress
sleeps in another room during the day or night, where you can’t see them
sleeps sitting up or not completely flat, such as in a car seat, as their head can roll forwards and affect how they’re breathing
was born before 37 weeks and/or born weighing less than 2. 5 kg

Breastfeeding your baby reduces the risks of SIDS

Helping your baby sleep safely

Always tuck your baby in with blankets across their chest and under their arms

Public Health Scotland

Since the Back to Sleep campaign began in 1991, the rate of SIDS has dropped by 80%.

For the first 6 months the safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot, crib or moses basket in your room beside your bed and in the same room as you, for all sleeps. You’ll also be close by if they need a feed or cuddle.

You can help your baby get a good sleep and stay as safe as possible by:

always putting them to sleep flat on their back on a firm flat mattress, and putting them on their back again if they roll over
tucking them in with blankets across their chest and under their arms
always putting them feet first at the bottom of the cot so they can’t wriggle down and get caught under the blankets
removing any bumpers, pillows or soft toys from the cot as these can cause your baby to overheat or affect your baby’s breathing if they’re too close to their face
making sure they don’t get too hot or cold – check their temperature by feeling their stomach or the back of their neck, and don’t go by hands and feet as they’ll often feel cold
keeping their head uncovered when they’re sleeping and taking off any swaddling or sleeping bag if they’re in bed with you
taking your baby out of their car seat when they’re not travelling, and out from a bouncy seat, swing or nest if they’re asleep as their head can roll forward if they’re not sleeping flat, which can affect their breathing
making your home smoke-free, and keeping your baby away from cigarette smoke

If your baby uses a dummy, use it for every sleep. If you’re breastfeeding, wait at least 4 weeks before giving your baby a dummy.

Make sure that any other family or friends who may look after your baby know how to put your baby down for a sleep safely.

Do not sleep on a sofa or chair

Never put yourself in a position that you can fall asleep with your baby in an armchair or on the sofa as this increases the risk of SIDS by 50% (Source: Baby Sleep Info Source and the Lullaby Trust).

Sharing a bed with your baby

Adult beds aren’t designed for babies. Before you bed-share, consider whether you think it’s a safe place for your baby to sleep. Check that:

your baby cannot fall out of the bed
your baby cannot get trapped between the mattress and the wall
your adult bedding can be kept away from your baby
other children and pets will not be in the bed at the same time as your baby

Mothers do sometimes bed-share when breastfeeding, however, without some planning and thought it can be very dangerous.

If you are breastfeeding while lying down, make sure your baby cannot roll onto their front. Try and keep your baby on their back, or move them onto their back once they have been fed.

If you’re thinking about bed-sharing, talk to your midwife, health visitor or family nurse about how to reduce the risks for your baby.

Baby Sleep Info Source has more information about bed-sharing

When your baby should always sleep separately

It’s never safe to share a bed with your baby if:

you or your partner have had alcohol or taken drugs (legal or illegal)
you smoked when you were pregnant
you or your partner is a smoker
your baby’s small or was born early
you or your partner are overly tired – less than 4 hours sleep in previous 24 hours

Your baby should sleep separately in their cot in these situations.

How much sleep’s normal?

There’s no normal amount of sleep and some babies sleep more than others. New babies sleep a lot – sometimes as much as 18 hours a day for the first month or so. But your baby probably won’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time to begin with.

Unusually sleepy baby

If your baby seems unusually sleepy they might be unwell. Always trust your instincts and get medical advice if you’re worried.

Don’t expect your baby to sleep several times a day and wake only for feeds and to smile, there will be some crying and grumbling.

Crying

When your baby cries and you go to them and comfort them, you’re teaching them the world’s a safe place. This helps them to develop the skills to sleep through the night.

How to soothe a crying baby

Plagiocephaly

Sometimes babies develop a flatter area either at the back of or on one side of their head. This is called plagiocephaly.

Plagiocephaly usually gets better on its own if your baby’s spending less time lying down.

More about plagiocephaly

Translations and alternative formats of this information are available from Public Health Scotland.

Source:
Public Health Scotland – Opens in new browser window

Last updated:

04 May 2022

How can we improve this page?

Help us improve NHS inform

Don’t include personal information e.g. name, location or any personal health conditions.

Email Address

e.g. [email protected]

Message

Maximum of 500 characters

Community content from Health Unlocked – This will open in a new window.

The baby does not sleep without a breast

How to separate food and sleep? What if the child falls asleep only under the breast or with a bottle in his mouth? Dad and grandmother can put him to bed without feeding, and with mom, the child requires the performance of those actions that he is used to, and attachment inextricably links two processes: eating and sleeping, falling asleep and sucking.

Baby only sleeps with breast in mouth – how does this affect sleep?

At first, all mothers are touched when a newborn sucks sweetly, falling asleep at the same time. The baby is so calm and happy lying at his mother’s chest! Six months pass quickly enough, the sweetness of tenderness also dissolves. Mom begins to understand that the child now sleeps only with the breast in her mouth, the chances of putting him to bed without feeding are almost zero. Own fatigue has accumulated over half a year of sleepless nights and is ready to develop into a nervous tremor at the thought that another nightly marathon of constant feedings is ahead. Mom feeds, overcoming fatigue, sacrificing her own interests for the sake of the child. Are the best interests of the child in such a situation taken into account?

Feeding that turns into sleep is absolutely justified if the baby is not even a month and a half old. But from three months the structure of sleep changes, melatonin begins to be produced. From now on, the baby’s brain cannot reach deep sleep if it is involved in the sucking process. From six months, the sucking reflex is rebuilt into a sucking habit. Habits can be good or bad. Some can make life more pleasant and harmonious, others can limit freedom and harm health. As a rule, a person wants to get rid of the latter. In the same direction, we must act when talking about the habits of the child. If the child wakes up between sleep cycles, and he does not yet know how to fall asleep on his own without your help (for example, motion sickness or chest), then your task is teach your baby to fall asleep without your active participation. Try not to do for the child what he can already handle on his own.

What techniques can be used to separate food and sleep?

1) Trust a close relative to put your baby to bed from the age of four months. The child needs the experience of falling asleep not only with the mother. At this point, the child should not be deceived and try to hide from his field of vision without warning. Let a loved one come in advance, play with the child, then the mother gives complementary foods, offers breasts, only after that gives the opportunity to dad or grandmother to finish the process. Mom should not doubt at this moment, because. the baby is already tired, wants to sleep, a reliable person is next to him, he will help him fall asleep and feel safe.

2) Believe me, the main comfort and stability that a child needs is you, your peace and care, and not your breast or a bottle of milk.

3) Feed your baby during the day in a calm, familiar environment. Minimize distractions – TV , telephone, communication with other people. This is the time of your close communication with the baby.

4) In order to break the connection between food and sleep, introduce another element of the ritual between them. For example, when you are feeding, give your baby a soft toy in your hand, tell a story about it using simple sentences and onomatopoeic words. You can repeat the story twice. After a certain time, say that it’s time for “this bear” to sleep, let the baby show how to fall asleep. Turn off the night light. Explain that mom is nearby, shush. If the child burst into tears, then take it in your arms, soothe, but after that put the baby back in the crib.

IDEAS:

Reading a fairy tale can be used. While feeding in the chair, read a book at the same time, trying to interest the child, then take the breast or bottle, finish reading, put the baby to bed, turn off the light.

You can feed right after the bath while the baby is still in the towel, then put on pajamas and go to bed.

5) Between eating and sleeping, one more relative may join. After feeding, dad can read a fairy tale or hold it in his arms until he calms down, he will definitely not be tempted to feed the child, because mom comes out of the bedroom with a breast and a bottle. Most importantly, survive the first 3 to 4 days of training so that the child has the experience of falling asleep without feeding. At this moment, do not leave the child alone in the room, in every possible way calm him down with your voice, short-term strokes. In a week, the child will forget the past way of falling asleep with the help of the breast.

6) Do not turn off the light during feeding, so it is less likely that feeding will be associated with sleep in the baby’s mind.

7) At night, pause feeding from 12 noon until 4 or 5 am. Avoid frequent night feedings, do not feed more at night than during the day. If the baby wakes up an hour after the last feeding, let him drink some water from the cup (this reduces the habit of sucking). Do not let your baby sleep with the breast in their mouth.

8) Start feeding in the morning after 6:00.

9) Spend more time communicating with your child during the day. And he will not have an overwhelming desire to be with you at night.

10) Go to self-sleep learning. Remember that a crib is not for storing toys, it’s time for a child to sleep in it. It is safer for the baby, who is actively learning new motor skills. Child first daycare, and then put him in his bed for night dreams. The child should get to bed sleepy, but not sleeping.

Eating and Sleeping HabitsSleeping Melatonin Sleep Training

Self Falling Asleep Rituals Sleep Helpers

Baby falls asleep with breast only

November 11, 2013, 22:32

November 11, 2013, 22:37

November 11, 2013, 22:38

2013, 22:40

November 11, 2013, 22:41

November 11, 2013, 22:48

Bubu, yes, because it is problematic, because I’m already tired of this situation – lying on my side for half the night without sleep, while my daughter has a nipple in her mouth. She has been sleeping restlessly since three months, sometimes jumping up every one and a half to two hours, and you can put her to sleep only by letting her suck. It’s hard, the nerves give up. 9Kate I quit breastfeeding at 1.5 daughter years. I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now … she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of GV, the daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed “And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. That is, if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she doesn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep, even when she was sleepy and tired.0003

November 11, 2013, 23:28

Guest

Tough! Poor child, crawls under the bed to sleep) Can something close the space from the floor to the bed, does dust still accumulate there? After this, they did not regret that they were excommunicated from the guards? November 11, 2013

Bubu, yes, it’s problematic, because I’m already tired of this situation – lying on my side without sleep for half the night while my daughter has a nipple in her mouth. She has been sleeping restlessly since three months, sometimes jumping up every one and a half to two hours, and you can put her to sleep only by letting her suck. It’s hard, the nerves give up.

November 11, 2013, 11:43 pm

#11

November 11, 2013, 11:53 pm

#12

bubu Time demands a breast – give!

November 11, 2013, 23:58

#13

November 12, 2013, 00:02

#14

Guest

Kate, and that your daughter began to drink and from which (bottle , drinker, mug)? My daughter does not recognize either bottles or drinkers, if she drinks from a mug, she spills half of it. Yoghurts, kefirs, milk does not recognize, milk mixture too. Can only drink juice or water

November 12, 2013, 00:11

#15

Kate

During the day she drinks from a mug, and at night we still take an avent cup with two handles to bed. Water does not just spill out of it, no matter which side you put it on. It’s comfortable. Especially if the daughter wakes up at night and asks for a drink. She can shed water from a cup, but not from such a drinker. And from dairy products he loves milk and cheese. After 2 years, milk can be given with cocoa.

November 12, 2013, 07:39

#16

My daughter didn’t take a pacifier or a bottle either, although she tried to teach it.

Sleep only after prolonged milking, day and night.

Of course, I calculated feeding for up to a year, then the doctor told me to feed more (I had mastitis with the first one and my breasts didn’t fully recover, but here is prevention), in short, I fed further.

Oh, and then I remembered the doctors and my stupid post.

Wherever I just didn’t apply everywhere the answer is the same – if you want to wean it, give your daughter to someone for three days, damn it, to whom will I give her? One of our well-known men here set my back (they come from all over Russia), I told him that my daughter was already almost three, and there was no way to wean it, tantrums until the fall.

The only one who answered me is that she is not ready, she will be ready, you will understand, I say that I will feed before school? – he, no, wait half a year, everything will be fine.

So, three weeks ago we watched a cartoon with her, she is already 3.4.

A cartoon about Santa Claus and his daughter asks me – what will my grandfather give me, I say nothing without hesitation. I say he does not give gifts to those who suckle breasts since the child sucks boobs, he is small and he does not need a gift.

She was shocked and said I won’t suck anymore, of course I didn’t believe it because before that it was darkness.

It’s been three weeks since she didn’t suck her breasts, and she did just that, I’m in shock.

Yes, it was hard for the first 3-4 days.

Now we are writing a hundred letters to Santa Claus with orders for gifts “I don’t suck, I have to ……) .

If you have the opportunity to wean earlier, do not repeat my mistakes.

12 November 12, 2013, 08:23

#17

November 12, 2013, 08:35

#18

Alyonka

Author You just described me.0003

My daughter didn’t take a pacifier or a bottle either, although she tried to teach it.

Sleep only after prolonged milking, day and night.

Oh, and then I remembered the doctors and my stupid post.

The only one who answered me is that she is not ready, she will be ready, you will understand, I say that I will feed before school? – he, no, wait half a year, everything will be fine.

So, three weeks ago we watched a cartoon with her, she is already 3.4.

She was shocked and said I won’t suck anymore, of course I didn’t believe it because before that it was darkness.

It’s been three weeks since she didn’t suck her breasts, and she did just that, I’m in shock.

Yes, it was hard for the first 3-4 days.

Now we are writing hundreds of letters to Santa Claus with orders for gifts “I don’t suck, I have to ……) .

If you have the opportunity to wean earlier, do not repeat my mistakes.

12 November 12, 2013, 09:34

#19

November 12, 2013, 09:46

#20

Kate

I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now … she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of breastfeeding, my daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed. And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. That is, if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she doesn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep even when she was sleepy and tired.0003

November 12, 2013, 10:15 am

#21

Guest

You wrote that I feel sorry for your child.

November 12, 2013, 10:18

#22

Woman.ru experts

Dotsenko Vsevolod

Psychologist

124 answers

Alla Buraya

Psychologist

8 answers

Leonova Xenia

Psychotherapist

17 answers

Vyacheslav is rich

Certified practitioner. ..

184 answers

Julia Lekomtseva

Cosmetologist

240 answers

Klimkova Tatyana

Psychologist

56 answers

Lisachenko Natalia

Nutrition Consultant

100 answers

Nidelko Lyubov Petrovna

Practicing psychologist

176 responses

Marina Kritskaya

Psychologist

4 answers

Maxim Sorokin

Practicing psychologist

590 responses

November 12, 2013, 10:23

#23

Did you leave her under the bed and go to sleep yourself? Kate?

November 12, 2013, 10:28

#24

November 12, 2013, 10:38

#25

My on Yves, the chest does not ask, but he does not know how to fall asleep. So I am rocking 12 kg in my arms, I have no strength

November 12, 2013, 10:41

#26

Author

Guest 17, why did you change your mind?

I continue to sometimes help mothers, but I am against it only to improve, to prolong. In your case, you need to get away from the child for 3-5, there is no other way, but this one is also traumatic.

We are too carried away by the idea of Guards. We brought it to absurdity and we are doing harm.

Uninvented stories

The man immediately warned that all the property was registered to the children

263 answers
Such a salary – I don’t want to work

178 answers
Lies 22 years long. How to destroy?

489 answers
Husband left, 2 months of depression… How will you cope if you are left all alone?

130 answers
A man wants a family with me, but he doesn’t have enough money!

415 responses

November 13, 2013, 14:26

#27

November 13, 2013, 14:28

#28

13:54 9000 9000 November 15, 2013, 00:01

#30

November 16, 2013, 11:07

#31

04 December 2014, 18:57

#33

05 December 2014, 13 :33

#34

16 January 2015, 12:55

#38

22 January 2017, 20:12

#39

She is ten months old. And for daytime sleep (if not a walk), and for nighttime, and at night, you can only lull your chest again. Otherwise, bitter crying, to the point of hysteria, no stroking, songs, hugs help. She never sucked on a pacifier, she didn’t like it, she didn’t suck on a bottle either.
Moms with a similar situation, when did your kids outgrow this habit? Or did you take some drastic measures yourself? Non-feeding, childfree and just angry people, pass by. PS: I planned to feed for up to a year, but I see that we won’t skip a year, psychologically more or less comfortable for myself, I’m ready to extend it to a maximum of one and a half years. Ideally 1.2, but how?? To stress-free!

May 16, 2017 03:52 PM

#40

Kate

I’m in exactly the same situation as you. I quit breastfeeding at 1.5 daughter years. I thought that she would start falling asleep herself … yeah, right now .. . she stopped asking for breasts after 2 days, but she couldn’t fall asleep herself ((for the first 3 weeks after the cancellation of GV, the daughter fell asleep at 5-6 in the morning, climbing under the bed And then I pulled her out of there and put her on the bed. T. *****. if she fell asleep, then at least shake her, at least throw her up, at least stomp around the apartment like an elephant – she didn’t care. But it was very difficult for her to fall asleep difficult, even when she was sleepy and tired.0003

Kate

Still falling asleep with my finger in her pen. It also calms her very much when I pretend to be sleeping nearby (I close my eyes, I start to breathe slowly). T.*****. while my husband and I are awake, she almost jumps over our heads, but as soon as we fall asleep / pretend, she also settles down next to her and falls asleep. But all these methods are suitable for a baby from 1.5 years old, who already understands something.

For me, a child wakes up from 8 months old, sees that we are sleeping and then goes to bed on his own)))))

New topics

Terrible character.

Is it possible to fix this?

No answers
Bacterial vaginitis and gender of the child

1 answer
Why are there so many corrupt men today?

6 answers
What is your deepest sexual fantasy?

3 answers
Thyroid problems?

2 answers

April 04, 2018, 14:45 He falls asleep only with a boob, and at night it is sometimes applied. During the day, my mother puts her down – I’m at work, so she falls asleep normally, and when I’m at home on weekends, even during the day with a boob. When I come home from work, she literally jumps on me, knocks me down and pulls out her boobs. I’m already tired. I wanted to quit at the age of 1.5 (now I think that it was necessary to do so). but it was summer, I heard that in hot weather you can’t throw it. My daughter only drinks juice and water.

Nov 02, 2018 10:40 AM

#41

kkwik

I agree.

December 21, 2018, 11:26 PM

#41

Kate

Yes, she climbed under the bed at first, then stopped. No, I’m not sorry. If she began to excommunicate later from the guards, then it would have turned out even worse, because. the daughter would have been cunning and would not have refused the Guards so easily. Until a child can speak, his memory is weak and he forgets about everything relatively quickly. And when he already knows how to speak, then he will remember longer about this guards and will discuss it with everyone))

July 19, 2021, 13:25

#44

Kate

Still falling asleep with my finger in her pen. It also calms her very much when I pretend to be sleeping nearby (I close my eyes, I start to breathe slowly). Those. while my husband and I are awake, she almost jumps over our heads, but as soon as we fall asleep / pretend, she also settles down next to her and falls asleep. But all these methods are suitable for a baby from 1.5 years old, who already understands something.

November 25, 2021, 00:10

#45

bubu

Is it difficult for you to breastfeed your baby at night? Time demands a breast – give!

How to wean a child from breastfeeding

Do not rush to wean the baby from the breast. In the first 4-6 months, only breastfeeding is recommended, then it’s time for complementary foods, but mother’s milk in baby food is still of great importance.

The most appropriate age for weaning is 12-14 months. Why?

Usually by this time the baby is breastfed only 2 times a day, so weaning takes place without great difficulties.
A one-year-old baby begins to oppose himself to other people, to understand that his mother and he are different people. However, the baby still needs close contact with you, but now this connection is established not during breastfeeding, but in the process of communication, learning, and play.
It is believed that mother’s milk loses its unique properties when the child is 1-1.5 years old.

When and how to wean a baby in Novokuznetsk:

Clinic “Mother and Child” Novokuznetsk

When the baby asks for a breast, offer the baby to wait and distract him with an interesting game or toy. If a child forgets about his desire for a long time, this is a good sign.
During the day, the baby falls asleep without attachment to the breast.
In the evening, another person can put the baby to bed, and he takes your absence calmly. And at night, the baby rarely wakes up.

How to do it

Wean your baby gradually. First, skip one feeding (wipe and replace it with milk formula, and after a few days cancel the last one (evening). If you breastfeed your baby only once a day, lactation will drop dramatically.
Drink less fluids. Stick to a low salt diet.
Eliminate foods that promote lactation.
Do not express milk after feeding.
Take special medications with your doctor’s advice.
It is useful to play sports. Daily physical activity helps reduce milk production.

If the baby is not ready to give up the breast

However, both a gradual decrease in the number of feedings and a sharp weaning can cause a child to protest and even rebel. Indeed, from the very first days, feeding was associated with your image: at your breast, the baby not only satisfied his hunger, but also calmed down. What to do in such a situation?

Choose a comfortable nipple with multiple holes for your bottle.
Replace breastfeedings with morning walks, afternoon games, evening stories, conversations.
Do not awaken memories: do not sit with the baby in the usual place where you breastfed him. Do not change in front of the child.
If the baby has difficulty falling asleep and refuses to go to bed until you attach him to the chest, stroke his back, put his favorite toy next to him, read a fairy tale. Ask a family member to put the child to bed.
When a crying baby comes running to you for comfort, do not push him away. You will always be the most reliable protector and source of psychological comfort for the child. At every opportunity, tell the baby that he will soon become an adult, that only the smallest children suckle at the breast. Take the baby in your arms as often as possible, kiss him, play with him. Your baby should feel that mom has not forgotten about him, that mom loves him the same way as before.
Sometimes it is very difficult to guess at what age it is better to transfer a baby from breastfeeding to bottlefeeding. It depends not only on the baby, his readiness to wean, but also on you, his mother: on your health, your desire to stop breastfeeding and even your work.
Dear mothers, when to wean a baby from the breast is up to you, only a mother’s heart will help you find the right decision.

They say one of the most effective ways to wean a baby is to smear mustard, pepper or something else that tastes bad on the nipples. Is it worth it to do so?

Let’s try to imagine ourselves in a similar situation. For example, you want to eat your favorite cake. You take a bite and … suddenly you realize that instead of a sweet filling, you are offered spicy mustard. Will you be disappointed and, moreover, very, very offended? Now imagine how your baby will feel when he takes a breast smeared with mustard. Be sure: your baby will not only be disappointed, he may stop trusting you, because for a baby, mother’s breast is an “island” of absolute peace, security and love. Remember that weaning should be gradual and as natural as possible.

When you decide to wean your baby

If your baby gets sick during the weaning process, you may need to return to breastfeeding.
A baby should not be weaned from the breast if he has recently been ill or has had an intestinal infection.
It is better to wean from the breast in the non-hot season.
Do not leave your baby while you stop lactating. Such an act can worsen the psychological state of the baby.

Make an appointment

services – When and how to wean a baby

Clinic “Mother and Child” Novokuznetsk

When and how to wean a child

By clicking on the send button, I consent to the processing of personal data

My child does not sleep well – In our paradise – LiveJournal

I have been tormented with this topic for a long time. Before giving birth, I read every , and it was written there how much the baby should sleep. Well, when it turned out that everything is completely, completely different with us, I began to read literature, forums, and interview my friends.

And it turned out – there is a quiet, not noticeable to a childless look, a very serious war !!! Two completely different positions exist and prove their right to life. Both defend mothers with foam at the mouth – in general, it is known that all discussions of the children’s topic are usually very sharp.

The first position, and the most common one, is to TEACH the child to sleep. The child does not know how to fall asleep on his own, and the training is cruel, with crying, but this is done for the good of the child, and if you do not teach him to fall asleep on his own, then the child will be bad, bad.

At first, I was just surprised when I read the methods “leave crying for 10 minutes – enter the room without looking into the child’s eyes hiss quietly, quietly, it’s time to sleep and go out for another 10 minutes.” I firmly knew that this sadism would never affect me.

But Alice did not sleep in the carriage, and from the age of three or four she generally began to sleep only with her breast in her mouth. It was very hard to endure, she slept 3-4 sleeps either in my arms, or I lay in bed with her. At night – constantly with breasts, I was all numb, my joints ached, horror . … But I endured, we fought for guards and the problem of sleep was the tenth thing.
Society put a lot of pressure on falling asleep with the breast. This is horror, this is addiction, you taught her, someone else cannot put her to sleep! My colleagues – young mothers – went to clubs and cafes, leaving the child with their grandmother, and I was breast-bound and at some point I myself believed that it was bad.
A neighbor in the dacha came in – a young mother visiting a spa, with manicure, makeup and big eyes: “Are you holding her in your arms while she sleeps?? This is absolutely not normal!!!”.
And I even broke down once – I tried to rock the baby in a backpack, not giving a breast, the baby was screaming, I was crying, it was 30 minutes of hell, which I will never forgive myself and never forget.
After that, I decided to close the topic and endure, and wait until something changes on its own.

But when the child grew up to a year old, and at night she still woke up every 40 minutes in search of breasts, I again became alarmed – among our familiar children, no one slept like that, mothers were very surprised when they heard about our dream, and everyone repeated in chorus

And I started re-reading books again, more thoughtfully and seriously.

And so I read that a child who is accustomed to falling asleep with a breast will look for this breast until school, waking up every change of the sleep cycle, and their cycles are short, 40 minutes the first year of life, then a little longer. So we had…
And that the brain of such a child does not rest, he sleeps superficially, and the brain will get used to it, and the child will suffer from CHILD INSOMNIA. And from this the child will grow poorly – because the growth hormone is released only when the child is fast asleep.
And so on and so forth. And it all sounds very convincing. And these books are written by doctors. And if I can still write down a couple of them as cruel idiots, then somehow my hand does not rise. For example, Mr. Richard Ferber – really works at the sleep research center in Boston. He’s not an idiot, is he? So, it’s really all bad with us and I’m hurting a child ???

And almost all such books-articles condemn co-sleeping. It is written about its danger, about the fact that the mother prevents the child from sleeping, etc. , etc.

In America and Europe, this approach is practiced everywhere. There is an episode in Desperate Housewives about how a mother taught a little girl to sleep. Leaving her screaming, she went to the neighbors, explaining that it was for the good of the child.

A mandatory condition for this approach is that the child should fall asleep alone in the room. Mom should say goodnight and leave. And the child lie down and sleep. I read and could not understand in any way – how can a one-year-old child fall asleep on his own ??? For what? Is this really necessary? No other way? Otherwise, he will breastfeed until school and all sorts of terrible things will happen?

But when I read, for example, this (from the same Ferber):
“What problems can arise? Some children are prone to vomiting and react with it to prolonged crying. If vomiting occurs during the self-sleep method, then go immediately to the baby, change his clothes, clean the room, change the bedding and follow the plan further, as provided. If you remain calm and confident, the child will quickly learn that vomiting does not affect your decision, and will learn to fall asleep on his own. ”

I felt bad – I could not imagine how I could bring my beloved, desired, tender, tame girl to SUCH??? Is it normal? Am I a sadist? It’s generally acceptable – so to scoff at those who can not fight back, so depends on you??? Or am I not understanding something?

Or another quote; “How long can your baby cry? It depends on the specific case. The most persistent, however, usually do not cry for more than 2 hours. Many give up after an hour.”

This is from here:
http://www.babyblog.ru/user/Lomiel/75400
http://o1ga.livejournal.com/8146.html

LJ this approach is popular in the BABY community. But in the Lyalechka community, on the contrary, there are supporters of the second approach – the child does not need to be taught to sleep, you need to let him fall asleep as he wants, it’s generally good with the breast – there is no need to lull him to sleep, he falls asleep quickly and easily.

But it seemed strange to me. Maybe they are suffering and now want to punish others? After all, this is a completely different life – when you are attached to a child, when you lie all night in one position, when your husband has already forgotten that he has a wife … And now they want the same for others, angry crazy mothers.

Bowlby’s attachment theory is known in this community. And also about the fact that a baby, left without a mother, falls into a state similar to sleep, only not very useful, into the so-called energy conservation mode, his heartbeat slows down, his breathing goes astray, etc. And it seems that the baby is perfect sleeping.

And of course, in Lyalechka everything is entirely for co-sleeping. For the fact that the child was created by nature to be close to his mother, and only next to her he adequately sleeps, stays awake, lives, and only feeling her close, he can relax and direct his strength to his development. And that separate sleep kills Guards. And guards are very necessary for children at least up to a year, and preferably longer.

Two different worlds, where different children come from. Some sleep well and a lot from birth. Someone himself, there are those too! But this post is not about them and not about their happy parents 🙂 And someone sleeps well in a couple of weeks. Someone screamed just one night, someone only three, and especially stubborn people screamed for two weeks. But this is quickly forgotten, the kids sleep all night without waking up, and their mothers write in the forums: everything is fine with us with sleep, which I wish you too! And yes, of course, feeding at night is harmful! It is necessary to replace it with some water, but it is better to wean it off drinking and eating at night. After all, this causes caries !!! You didn’t know?? (This, by the way, is not so, I will post links to it at the end of the post).
These forums are read by a mother whose child sleeps badly, with breasts, little – and thinks: what am I doing on this? Why are their children sleeping? Yes, and caries will be!!!
And there is a search for articles on the topic “how to teach a child to sleep” . ..

Our pediatrician came, whom I trust very much. She said – the children have such a dream, they get enough sleep and subject to the search for a breast every 40 minutes. There is no mother, they do not get enough sleep. This is normal. My five-year-old son still comes to us every night.
Another doctor came – my mother’s friend, a pediatric surgeon. She said it was ABSOLUTELY not normal. The child should sleep soundly and for a long time without waking up. Otherwise, it is NOT NORMAL. My son has slept alone since birth and is great.

And, of course, the experience of other mothers. So it turns out that those whose children sleep well themselves usually don’t talk much about it, because it seems to be the norm and what to say about it, we don’t often discuss that the sky is blue.
But who HAD PROBLEMS with sleep, and then THEY LEFT or they were REMOVED, they love, oh how they love to talk about the fact that before that there was hell, but now hell. Moms do it with the best of intentions! They want to share experiences that will make life easier for those who are still suffering.
Here is one of my friends from LJ weaned the child from the breast and he began to sleep a thousand times better, including 40 minutes left for him (that is, when the child wakes up every 40 minutes and looks for a breast). And she happily shares this news (well, still, I would be terribly happy too! 🙂 ) writes about this, they say, it’s all about falling asleep with a breast. As soon as it was removed – the dream improved, the child can oversleep for an hour, and an hour and a half, and two, and even three.
And if my Alice was not absolutely the same age as the son of this fredness, and I would not see with my own eyes that it also took her 40 minutes, despite the fact that her breasts are freely available, what would I think!?? Of course it’s in the chest. But that’s not the point. The fact is that the brain grows, the phases of sleep lengthen. And her son lengthened, and my daughter. Regardless of the chest.

(However, it should be noted that all the same, a baby with a breast wakes up many times more often than one without a breast, more on that later. )

Or I was walking here in the company of mothers and small children. And they seem to feel that I have a dream – a difficult topic (or this is how I look simple:)). One came up and said that when her daughter was 14 months old, she left her with a nanny and flew away for 5 days to wean her and teach her to sleep. Arrived – the child is gold, sleeping. the chest does not ask.
I was thrown into a fever from this story. She is worth it, such a beauty, well-groomed, beautiful. And she tells me this. I look at her little girl and try to think of anything but what she went through when she was left alone for 5 days. (J. Bowlby has a book “Separation” about the fear of separation from his mother. I hope that mother does not read it, which is already.)

In general, I could not understand in any way – how is it, why is there no consensus, WHERE IS THE TRUTH, BROTHER!!!??? Are there really no studies that provide unambiguous answers? I have a scientific-medical-psychological approach, and all these articles without references to research are not convincing. I had to sit down and spend time looking for research.

I found quite a lot of things, and those articles that put everything in its place for me. For those who are interested, read on 🙂

First of all, I checked the names of the authors of the Great Books on sleep training in PubMed. After all, if they are really so great, they should have publications and quotes.

Of all the authors of books on sleep training, there is Richard Ferber. There are a lot of his articles, I rush to read abstracts in horror.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Ferber%20R[Author]&cauthor=true&cauthor_uid=21423424 My English is bad, but I understand that yes, the man studies sleep disorders, all sorts of severe cases.

John Bowlby, who, of course, is about affection. But who will read Attachment Theory when there are easy articles without links, they say, stop yelling and you will be happy ??? Bowlby doesn’t write about sleep separately, but reading about SUCKING from him seems important to me for any future and young mother. )

Further, I found quite a few scientific papers on the topic of sleep (it is clear that there are heaps of them, but getting the entire texts and printing them out is a big job, I do not pretend to be scientifically complete, I was looking for answers for myself and I seem to have found them )

So, a lot of articles with literature reviews, descriptions of cases of sleep disorders and a bunch of links. They write about the same thing:
This is a description of the sleep process: what it is, its stages.
These are numbers – that is, sleep norms for children at different ages.
These are the criteria for sleep disturbance, its types and types.
The consequences of sleep disorders and the impact of these disorders on the life of the child.

Briefly, the situation is as follows:
The child needs to sleep a lot, the tables are striking in their numbers, my child has never slept so much.
Numbers vary slightly between studies.
Here is a table that seems closest to reality (“Violations and features of sleep in children”, General Medicine 1.2010).

Further, sleep disorders are considered as complex cases, such as apnea, narcolepsy, somnambulism, suffocation, etc., as well as Difficulties with falling asleep and maintaining sleep.

Data on 12-month-old children suggest that if a child wakes up twice during the night, then we can talk about a sleep disorder. (I’m shocked. Seems like complete nonsense. Read on.)

I notice that the articles are similar to each other. Both ours and not ours. Actually, I know how these literature review articles are written. Each and the other are written off, roughly speaking.

Next, I see that outdated diagnoses are being used, such as increased intracranial pressure. An article that uses such data ceases to interest me.

However, the picture is still serious. I’m trying to understand how Alice and I, as well as a bunch of moms who feed a child a hundred times a night, have gone so far from science and sleep norms.

I delve into the topic and read the description of specific cases of illness, sleep disorders of patients. I see that the anamnesis is not described anywhere. That is, it may be described somewhere, but not in those articles that I managed to dig up and download. That is, it is not indicated what type of feeding the child is on. How does he sleep at home? Whether he was taught to sleep alone or not. But this is VERY important.

I see that the described cases are really severe cases, the child has a serious disease, neurological or mental. Well, like terrible nightmares, etc. The disease affects its development, and this is far from the only problem of such children.

I look at my chubby, happy baby and think something is wrong. Based on the results of such studies, smart uncles draw conclusions about how it is SHOULD to sleep. They proceed from VIOLATIONS and draw a conclusion about the NORM. And that’s not how it’s done at all. Sick kidneys cannot have a lot of protein, but healthy ones can. And so on.

Well, then I immediately found two articles that put everything in its place.
In one – a detailed description of the method of studying sleep, which is now used throughout the world. It’s called POLYSOMNOGRAPHY. Very good, everyone praises and admires. True, it allows you to take a lot of indicators, to study sleep from all sides, so to speak.

This method is carried out in the laboratory and looks like this (from the article “Polysomnography in the diagnosis of sleep disorders in children”, Russian Bulletin of Perinatology and Pediatrics, 5, 2008):

I immediately had a lot of questions. Is it possible to examine my child in this way??? Who has been sleeping with me since birth, who is constantly turning around, looking for breasts, pissing in a basin?? No no and one more time no. So you can study the one who ALREADY sleeps separately, who can wake up, drink a bottle and sleep further. (important! if the child really has sleep disorders – not in the sense of sleeping in his mother’s arms, but without them he does not sleep, but in the sense he cannot fall asleep deeply at all, his eyes run under closed eyelids, convulsions or something else serious – then yes, then they study like that, sometimes they even put sensors on the mother’s hands, but this is already about illness, about serious problems, and not about “he wakes up 6 times a night to suck on his breast!”)
And then, according to this method of studying sleep, articles are written about SICK children, and who will bring healthy children to the laboratory?
And mothers read this and become alarmed: my child sleeps wrong.

Another article that dotted all the i’s – James J. McCann “Cultural Influence on Infant Sleep”.
http://www.llli.org/russian/subject/sleep/culturalinfluences.html

The article provides data from STATISTICAL studies, indicating the number of subjects. Which makes her extremely attractive to me.

Since what was said in the article is fundamentally different from the heap of material I studied, I want to quote a few (I took the liberty of highlighting a few phrases in bold): and studies of clinically “normal” infant sleep-wake cycles. These data continue to be the gold standard against which parents and professionals evaluate infant sleep development, despite significant contextual differences that may render such comparisons unwarranted. no matter how healthy it is, it is almost not considered.”

“The article presents new evidence from the field of psychology that suggests that the need for solitary sleep to develop “independence” of infants from parents is grossly overestimated. New evidence from the field of biology points to the fact that infant sleep researchers underestimate the importance of breastfeeding and maternal proximity in regulating the physiology of infant sleep , and thus meeting the needs of the infant during the night.0750 children who “never” slept with their parents were less controllable, less happy, and more likely to throw tantrums . Moreover, the scientist found that children who were never allowed to sleep with their parents were more shy than children who always slept in their parents’ bed all night long (17).”

“In a study of parents of 86 children passing treatment in pediatric and child psychiatry clinics (aged 2-13 years) at military bases (children of military personnel), it was found that teachers rated children who slept with their parents more highly. The main group of psychiatric patients consisted of children who slept alone. ”

“The mother’s body stimulates or triggers mechanisms to regulate a month old baby’s body temperature, respiration, wake cycles, cortisol levels and sleep architecture . All this is of the utmost importance, given that the child is born neurologically immature and matures slowly outside the womb (38-41)”

All ways to manage children’s sleep come down to reducing contact with parents as early as possible and reducing feedings at night.Widely advice is “do not allow children to get used to falling asleep during meals, including during breastfeeding”, “do not accustom the child to fall asleep when the parent soothes and caresses the child.” This advice is fundamentally contrary to the very context of the evolution of infant sleep in relation to parental emotions. Today, more and more children are breastfeeding in the United States. If breastfeeding is so widespread, and appears to be biologically correct according to cross-cultural studies, the current sleep management recommendations will not only fail, but will even interfere with many mothers.”

after a brief awakening during sleep (self-soothing) and the ability to “sleep through the night” at the earliest possible age with minimal parental involvement is still a developmental milestone by which both infants and their parents are measured, even in cases where the parents themselves are not consider the ability to “sleep through the night” something important. Using this kind of criteria to evaluate “developmental progress” can do more harm than good, especially if the actual sleep conditions differ from the sleep conditions for which such an assessment is intended. ”

The sleep patterns of infants at night are significantly different from formula-fed infants. In turn, the sleep of children who were breastfed for a year or more developed differently than the sleep of children who were fed only for the first three months (15). Oberlander et al. (72) found that infants’ sleep immediately after feeding increased by 46% when they were fed cow’s milk formula alone and by 118% when compared with water or carbohydrates alone.
in developed countries such as the US, UK and Australia, where 35% of children (or one in three healthy children) have difficulty falling or staying asleep after being taught to sleep alone (17, 35, 87). Such a high percentage is an example of the fact that, perhaps, the confidence in the correctness of our expectations and ideas about how children should sleep is unreasonably overstated. This is not evidence of parental incompetence, but rather a lack of flexibility in interpreting and applying the advice given by health professionals.”

“Only a hundred years ago, in a relatively small number of world cultures, did parents and health care providers concern themselves with the problem of how exactly children should be euthanized. And only in Western cultures is there a notion that children need to “learn” to sleep, in this case, alone In most cultures around the world, childhood sleep is something that happens on its own Harkness et al. less as they grow older, will go to sleep and wake up at about the same time as other family members, and that sooner or later they will learn to fall asleep and wake up without the help of mothers and fathers. The four main stages of infant sleep behavior are determined by stages of development “(64) . ”

Co-sleeping does not lead to one predictable outcome – positive, harmless or negative. Just like there is no one predictable outcome of a solitary dream. The physiological and psychological effects depend on the age of the child, as well as the social, physical, and emotional circumstances surrounding co-sleeping.
The exaggerated fear of strangling or suffocating an infant in its sleep comes in part from the cultural history of the West. Over the past 500 years, many impoverished women in Paris, Brussels, Munich, and London (and many other cities) have confessed to Catholic priests that they strangled their babies in their sleep in order to somehow control family size (94, 95, 96). Led by priests who threatened excommunication, fines, and imprisonment (for murder), parents were forbidden to take their children to their bed. Such historical legacies of Western history probably merged with changing social mores and customs (the birth of such values as privacy, autonomy, individualism) and provided the basis for the philosophical justification of modern cultural beliefs. Based on established cultural beliefs, it is much easier to find the disadvantages of co-sleeping than to address its possible benefits. “

And of course, the chapter on sleep in my favorite book “The Art of Breastfeeding” is very good, there are also references to literature, I also used them. A must read!

In general, I answered my questions. I realized that the architecture of sleep differs in children on GW and not on GW, as well as in those sleeping with mom and not sleeping with mom. And this “normative” trajectory of sleep development is not represented by the traditional scientific paradigm. And from here, a bunch of terrible articles and tips for accustoming to sleep. And hence a bunch of moms who heeded this advice.
As well as mothers who graduated from guards and saw that the child began to sleep better. And giving advice to others.

And that we are talking about sleep disorders only if the disorder really exists. If a child does not sleep enough, his nervous system suffers, if he cannot develop normally, if he is really sick! Here visits to doctors, and even medicines are justified – there are situations that are really serious. But in 99% (a figure from me, approximate) of cases, we are not talking about sleep disturbance. It’s about sleep patterns. and if the baby wakes up to suck on the breast – this is the norm! It is important for mom to get enough sleep, co-sleeping and daytime sleep helps.

I also perfectly understand the force of habit which also has its place in the topic of sleep. Of course, it is not necessary to teach a child to sleep in his arms if he sleeps himself in a cocoon or crib. No need to accustom to motion sickness (I hope everyone already knows that motion sickness is extremely harmful, and severe motion sickness can cause a stroke in a newborn). You can try to slowly remove the breast from the mouth of a sleeping child and crawl away, leaving your clothes nearby for the smell of your mother. In every possible way try to improve his sleep without a mother, resort to tricks and tricks. All this has its place. There is no place to be accustomed to a separate sleep, accustoming through tears, weaning in order for the child to finally “sleep normally”.

If a child whimpered at night, and his mother put her hand on him, hissed, and he fell asleep – great!!! (Unless we are talking about the first weeks of lactation). But if the child is at guards, he cries, and the mother does not give him breasts at night, but sticks water or rocks to sleep – this is a mockery !! Because he smells milk, it calls him, and his mother, having read the forums, does not give breasts. This is terrible! (I read a joyful post by one mother, who was proud that she weaned a five-month-old girl from falling asleep with her breast. At the same time, the girl gnawed off MOM’S MIKE in the process of weaning. People, are you people or animals ???!!!

I am very sorry that I was born and gave birth on my own at the turn of the epochs, which still caught the HUGE influence of the approach to children imposed by the totalitarian regime of different countries, including Russia, whose goal was to put a woman in production rather, and for this not let her get too attached to her own child. I’m sorry that I spent SO many nerves and energy worrying about why my baby is not sleeping as soundly as I would like, why I can’t put him in the crib and go about my business. I’m sorry that one of my grandmothers raised children on a schedule, and the second didn’t raise children at all, but worked, that my grandfather still exhorts me to put my daughter in a crib and accustom her to her, that my progressive mother in the first difficult months of my girl is so I was worried that this was “breast slavery”, that it was impossible to sleep with a breast, that it was too hard for me. I’m sorry that a bunch of kids around the world are doing all sorts of horrors like being left screaming and being taught to sleep. I would go to jail for this.

But on the other hand, how happy I am that now I have the freedom to choose how I raise my child. Freedom not to believe any nonsense on the net, and also not to believe not high-quality scientific articles. Freedom to access information. And that I have such a mother and such a husband who fully support me, my husband spent a lot of his time helping to research this topic, looking for articles and so on.
And that we spontaneously had a joint dream. I didn’t plan it, I didn’t read the studies. The child so wanted and so it turned out by itself. I think if it had turned out differently, I would have regretted it later. And my father was so surprised (the doctor, by the way), they say, you can’t sleep with her! This is dangerous!

My daughter is now 15 months old. And I find it hard to believe that I was once so worried that she falls asleep only with her breast. Oh my god, this is just amazing!!! It’s insanely convenient! We don’t have any problems falling asleep.
After a year, she began to give me freedom in the evening – one and a half, or even two hours. Yes, I have never slept for more than two hours. And what of it? I see how important and necessary it is for her to apply at night to her breast.
At the same time, at 15 months, she began to fall asleep at home with her grandmother or father, if I was not around. This happened! Even though it never seemed to happen. Well, in a wheelchair on the street – it’s easy. No nipples, thumb sucking, transient objects, etc.
She falls asleep at home with her breast for a daytime sleep, then sucks herself off and sleeps for an hour by herself – before I could only dream of this. And then you need to catch the moment and stick her chest. Then she – we – will sleep for another hour, and she will wake up very pleased and slept.

And of course, in general, guards after a year is a super convenient thing. I always have something that will calm the child, put him to sleep, CURE from 99% of diseases. How can you voluntarily refuse this?

I’m already silent that despite the fact that my child is VERY tame, our bodily communication with him is 90% co-sleeping, 8% gw, and only 2% hug-kissing, because go catch her during the day!!!

Everything goes on as usual, and it just took a lot of time to understand this topic. Of course, in the first months I was simply not up to it. And it would be nice if there was an experienced person nearby, some old woman who remembers how it was in the villages. Where the children slept all together, and indeed everyone slept together, the children were carried in their arms, it was as normal to give a breast as to sneeze, and no one was worried about accustoming to sleep (the woman just plowed like a horse, and the child grew up by itself, holding on to her skirt, and then running barefoot through the dung).
If you have similar problems, if it seems to you that your child will NEVER learn to fall asleep without a breast – let me become that person for you)))

I am not a fan or a masochist, I also want to sleep someday. I will catch the moment when it seems to me that my daughter is no longer so important guards. At the same time, I will remember that WHO recommends feeding up to 2 years, and in pre-revolutionary Russia they fed up to 5-7. Someday we will finish with guards and get some sleep (and I will finally smoke a hookah 🙂 ). But for now from 80-90 (I’m an optimist) years of my life I’m ready to not get enough sleep for a couple of years in order to give my daughter the most important thing she needs – guards and mother’s carcass next to me 🙂

And of course, I’m terribly jealous of those mothers whose children are born sleep well, wake up at night to suck once every three hours and sleep on. For me, in this version, it is generally a paradise, both for the child and for the mother. Maybe someday heaven or someone there will send me a sleeping child)

I also want to emphasize once again that you need to know the basic things about sleep – I wrote about it under the Useful children’s tag.

P.S. Our sleep in by the age of two has become just great !!!!! I calmly go to the theaters – the little one falls asleep with her grandmother or dad. During the night, he wakes up once on a potty, once or twice he can simply be brought in and fall asleep again. We sleep together, and there is no better pleasure) Everything was justified, everything! How good)) About how we turned off guards and how sleep improved – I wrote in my other posts on the tag useful children 0-2 years and useful children 2-3 years.
And you have good dreams!)))

Myths and misconceptions about children’s sleep

06.02.2022

Every mother at some point in her life receives advice on forums on the Internet or in real life from friends, grandmothers and other acquaintances on how to improve the sleep of a child. But is it worth following all the advice?

Let’s figure out together what recommendations are already outdated and become myths and what is actually better for the child.

Myth 1

The baby does not sleep because he is not full enough. Need to be fed.

True: Human sleep is formed not in the stomach, but in the brain. Therefore, the baby continues to sleep poorly when the mother begins to feed to fall asleep and when waking up at night. As a result, the child understands that he can fall asleep only with the help of food and nothing else. A habit is formed, from which it is then difficult to leave.

Myth 2

Milk is not nutritious – add semolina, porridge, then the child will sleep better.

Truth: The nutritional value and fat content of milk does not affect the baby’s habit of sleeping only on the breast. And introducing complementary foods ahead of time or adding porridge to the bottle will not improve your baby’s sleep.

Myth 3

Children sleep better on AI.

Truth: Babies sleep the same on GW and EW. Yes, it happens that the mother weaned, and the child begins to sleep better. But this is not due to the transition to IV, but to a change in sleep habits. Most likely, the mother begins to rock, give a bottle to sleep, or holds the baby by the hand while falling asleep, that is, changes the way she falls asleep. But at the same time, the baby still does not fall asleep on his own in the crib without his mother’s help.

Myth 4

The child does not sleep because he is not tired enough. You need to make him more tired.

Truth: If a child is overtired, he will cry when he goes to bed, and it will take longer to fall asleep, to sleep in intermittent superficial sleep. And if the baby goes too far regularly, the level of cortisol in his body rises. Even a single increase in this hormone leads to increased stable positions of the stress hormone for two days.

And when a child is overtired from day to day, his body takes out the phase of deep sleep, the baby begins to sleep only superficially. Which leads to short naps, frequent tears, waking up too early and going to bed for hours.

Myth 5

The child does not sleep well because it is hereditary.

Truth: If your baby has a behavioral sleep disorder, such as falling asleep only on the chest or when rocking, this is not due to heredity. Hereditary may be the temperament of the child, how quickly he gets used to certain sleep habits, what is his reaction to learning to self-sleep. But the problem of poor sleep, if it is not of a medical nature, is not hereditary.

Myth 6

Early bedtime/early rise is not suitable for the child as he is a “lark/owl.” Therefore, it is better to accept and wait until he outgrows the problems with sleep.

Truth: Only after the age of 12 do children begin to develop a tendency to be. And if your child falls asleep and gets up late, then most likely you have adapted the baby’s regimen for yourself. But this does not mean that such a routine is physiological for a child.

Myth 7

Teeth and growth spurts are to blame for bad sleep.

Truth: Teeth can really disturb a child’s sleep. But children usually experience acute pain at the time of teething, which does not last 3-7 days. Teeth do not affect a child’s sleep in any way if sleep problems have been going on for more than one month.

Developmental leaps often occur in the first years of a baby’s life. They affect a child’s sleep as he learns new skills. But no jump is a pathology.

Myth 8

The child should be taught to sleep with noise.

Truth: Babies don’t need to be specially taught to sleep with noise, especially if they don’t sleep well.

Take into account the needs of the baby for his age and do everything possible so that he sleeps better.

The same applies to the baby sleeping in the light. Up to 2 months, the baby can sleep in a lighted room. But by forcing the baby to sleep in the light after 2 months, we do not allow the sleep hormone melatonin to be produced.

Do not be afraid that due to sleeping in a dark room during the day there will be a confusion of day and night. The circadian rhythm of the night begins to form in a child from 8 weeks. Most often, the confusion of day and night is not due to darkness, but due to an incorrect daily routine.

Myth 9

It is imperative for a child to sleep in a pram outside.

Truth: If the baby falls asleep peacefully in the stroller, then there is nothing wrong with that. But sleeping in a wheelchair is not a necessity. This claim is not supported by any research.

Also, not all babies sleep in a stroller. There are babies who are accustomed to sleeping with their breasts in their mouths or who are annoyed by the movement of the stroller – their brain cannot figure out how to fall asleep when everything is moving around.

If this is your case, you do not need to specifically accustom the baby to sleep in the stroller – put him down in a way that is comfortable for him.

Myth 10

The baby constantly sleeps on his chest, in his arms, because he lacks warmth and affection.

Truth: A child who is used to sleeping on his chest or arms is definitely not a child who lacks warmth and affection. On the contrary, he received all this in abundance and formed the habit of sleeping like this.

Myth 11

All children do not sleep well and this is normal. You just have to get through this period.

Truth: 20-30% of children have behavioral sleep disorders. They go away when mom does something, not when he outgrows them. We sacrifice ourselves, thinking that we are doing well for the child. But in fact, the baby also suffers, experiencing problems with sleep. And you support it yourself. Therefore, it is better to establish a child’s sleep, and not wait. (link to bunny).

What myths about childhood sleep do you encounter most often?

Like this article? Rate:

Votes: 19

Cry it out method of falling asleep: controlled crying and sleep

April 24
2019

26 comments

Some people believe that this method of sleep training involves the following algorithm: parents leave the nursery, leave the baby alone, and he cries until he falls asleep. But “cry it out” (CIO) refers to many approaches to sleep training. And most often it is based on the fact that parents allow the child to cry for a certain period of time (usually this is a very short period).

Richard Ferber / photo WBUR

In his book A Child’s Dream. The solution to all problems, pediatrician Richard Ferber introduced one of the methods for falling asleep to children, which has become almost synonymous with CIO. He was even given a name by the name of the doctor – Ferberizing. Ferber himself never uses the phrase “cry it out”. He’s just one of many sleep experts who say crying is an essential part of sleep training for some kids. Most pediatricians agree with him, and the cry it out method really works, helping many families.

Theoretical foundation of the methodology
The basis of CIO is the ability to fall asleep, which your child can learn if you give him the opportunity to do so. The idea is that if your baby gets used to you feeding or rocking him every night before bed, he won’t learn to fall asleep on his own. And subsequently, when he wakes up at night, which is part of the natural sleep cycle, he will worry and cry instead of falling asleep again.

Conversely, if your baby learns to soothe himself before bed, he will be able to use the same skill when waking up at night.

It is important to realize right away that crying is not the goal of this sleep training method. However, “cry it out” proponents argue that this is often an inevitable side effect of self-tuning to a child’s sleep. In fact, a short-term roar is a small price to pay for all the long-term benefits: a child who goes to bed with a happy smile on his face and falls asleep easily; parents who are guaranteed a quiet night’s rest. How do you like this scenario? Do you only dream of peace? Well, you have a chance to change everything.

It is much easier to take a child to bed / photo The Pragmatic Parent

Examples of CIO methods
Ferber is perhaps the best-known expert to advocate the “cry it out” method, but he is not alone. Pediatrician Mark Weissbluth, author of the popular book Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby, says that crying is an integral part of helping some kids develop healthy sleep habits.

Sleep expert Jody Mindell, who wrote the book Sleeping All Night, is called “the kind and gentle Ferber.” She proposed her own variation of the technique.

Another paediatrician, Michel Cohen of New York, should not miss The New Foundations of Parenting. He believes that babies as young as 8 weeks old can be left alone in the nursery to cry as much as necessary before falling asleep.

Well, what mom can resist that? / photo Sleeping Baby Book

At the opposite end of the spectrum is the “baby wise” approach of pediatrician Robert Bucknam and his coauthor Gary Ezzo. In their book Wisdom in Raising a Child, they advise not to feed children when they themselves want to. They recommend force-feeding your baby before bed so that he does not wake up at night. In addition, the authors warn that children will definitely cry until they adjust to the schedule proposed by their parents.

It should be noted that the methods proposed by Michel Cohen and Robert Bucknam are controversial and have been criticized by both childcare experts and many parents. Also, these approaches are contrary to the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics on feeding and sleep. But… There is always a “but”.

I wanted to try the Ferber method. How should I do it?
First, wait until your child is ready to sleep through the night, not only physically but also emotionally. Babies usually mature at 4-6 months of age. Ferber does not specify the exact age at which to start applying his technique, since it can vary greatly depending on the individual characteristics of the child. So it’s up to you to decide.

The result is worth all your efforts / photo Sleepopolis

If you are not sure if your child is ready, you can always take a “test swim” or discuss it with a doctor. If you encounter a lot of resistance, wait a few weeks and try again.

Step 1. Put your baby to bed when he is sleepy but still awake.

Step 2 Say good night to your baby and leave the room. Let the baby cry for a certain period of time.

Step 3. Return to the room for 1-2 minutes to pet and soothe the baby. Do not turn on the light while doing this. Your voice should be as quiet and soothing as possible. Exit the room again. Despite the fact that he is still awake and even crying.

Step 4. Return to the nursery again and stay with the child a little longer than the first time. Repeat this “exercise”, each time leaving the room for a longer time. At the same time, staying in the nursery should not be delayed longer than 2 minutes.

Step 5. Leave the room until the baby is asleep.

Step 6. If your child wakes up again, follow the same procedure, gradually increasing the intervals between visits.

Step 7. Every night, increase the time intervals between visits to the nursery. Ferber claims that in most cases, the child will fall asleep in his room on his own by the third or fourth night. The maximum period is a week.

How long should a child be left alone in a room?
Ferber suggests the following intervals in his book:

First night: first time out for 3 minutes, second time out for 5 minutes, third time and all subsequent times out for 10 minutes.

Second night: leave the child for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 12 minutes.

Subsequent nights: gradually increase the intervals, taking into account the reaction of the child.

A child must love his bed / photo Kveller

Practical tips for testing the “cry it out” method from parents and experts
Lay the foundation for success. For example, getting ready for bed might include bathing, reading a book, or a lullaby. The child will know exactly what to expect.
Develop a plan. Make sure you and your partner are emotionally prepared before starting sleep training.
Follow the plan. When your child wakes you up at 2 am, you may be tempted to go astray. But in this case, all the work will be done in vain. You can pause the program if you find that your child is simply not physically or emotionally ready.
Get ready for sleepless nights. Schedule your first CIO night when you’re not planning anything. For example, if you work all week, it’s best to start on Friday.
Be prepared for remorse. What parent can calmly listen to his child crying? This is real flour. Therefore, during periods of waiting, when you leave the nursery, and the child begins to cry, go to another part of the apartment or listen to music on headphones. The first week may seem like hell for you, but try to relax, because when it’s over, your family will sleep as soundly as it is peaceful.
Only team work. During waiting periods, do something nice with your partner. Come up with something yourself. If after a while you realize that the baby’s crying is unbearable, let your partner take control of everything. Next time you will take over the case, giving your spouse a rest.
Customize the method for you. If you want to try this method but find it too harsh, you can take the gentle approach. For example, you can stretch the seven-day Ferber program over 14 days, increasing the time intervals through the night.
Be prepared for relapses. Don’t think that by the end of your sleep training you will solve the problem. Your child’s sleep may regress periodically, for example, when they get sick or while traveling.

Reading at night as part of getting ready for bed / photo Chicago Tribune

Does the “cry it out” method work?
For some, this method is just a salvation, because it works the first time. Many parents say that the child continues to cry, but the promised sleep does not come. Then it’s time to try something else. It is natural that one method works differently in different families. No one approach to the problem of children’s sleep will work the same way for everyone. And even if CIO works with your first child, it won’t work with your second.

Parent feedback
“I have two children. The first child never screamed, because before going to bed and during awakenings, we always lulled him, sang, did our best. But with my second child, I decided to try the controlled crying method, and after a night it worked. Today my daughter is a year old, she goes to bed without any problems and never cries at night. My husband was against it, but now our family is happy.” – Lisa.

“My daughter woke up every hour and when she was 7 months old I decided to let her cry. After 3-4 weeks, we completed the sleep training. Now my daughter sleeps about 10 hours a night and loves her crib. And how much energy does she have for games after that! — Samantha.

“My friends are Ferber junkies.” They recommended the “cry it out” method to me, and I went against my own instincts. The son was supposed to sleep peacefully in a week, but instead he cried for 3 hours on the third night. This is very individual, and you should not expect that this technique works with all children. — Kelly.

“We tried the Ferber method with our daughter at 6 months old. The first night was terrible. The second one was faster. The third night was worse than the first. Now the daughter sleeps with us and we are all happy. I still blame myself for those three terrible nights.” – Loving mother.

Don’t believe anyone who says it’s easy / photo HuffPost

Why do some people oppose the “cry it out” method?
Many parents and educators say that you should not let a child cry and not respond to his tears in any way. According to them, this can jeopardize the child’s trust in his parents and, therefore, his sense of security.

In response to such fears, Ferber says that a child who receives a lot of attention and love during the day can stay on his own at night and cry a little without damage to health or psyche.

“A small child does not yet know what is best for him, and he may cry if he does not get what he wants,” writes Ferber. “If he wanted to play with a sharp knife, you would naturally not give him such a dangerous “toy”, no matter how much he cried. In doing so, you would not feel guilty and would not worry about the psychological consequences. An abnormal sleep pattern can be as harmful to your child as a sharp knife.”

The mere mention of the “cry it out” method can cause heated debate between parents, pediatricians and psychologists. Critics of the method say it can lead to digestive problems and even damage to synapses in the brain. Adherents speak of the ridiculousness of such conclusions. Craig Canapari, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics and director of the sleep medicine program at Yale School of Medicine, laughs: “Honestly, this technique would be really dangerous if babies got brain damage every time they cry. They’re crying all the time. I think “cry it out” has a right to exist.”

In the end, it is up to you to decide whether this method is justified for your child. In the struggle for survival, all means are good. And if sleep is pleasure, then you have to pay for any pleasure. Someday you will definitely understand that sleep is a plane in which you can always fly business class.

Author http://www.twins.org.ua

I am against this method. It is not in Nature for a mother to make her child suffer! It hurts both the mother and the child.

Do you want your child to fall asleep faster? Develop a specific sleep scenario. For some children, it is even enough to eat, then listen to a lullaby on the phone!

I think that you have children who cannot fall asleep for 1.5 hours, they simply do not have a script for falling asleep. It works already at the level of instincts!!

I turn on the same music to the child, and it already acts on the level of instincts.

I am teaching my second child (1. 2 years old) using this method. Helped right away! From 4 a.m. he sleeps all night without waking up. From 21-8 in the morning. Happiness has no limit. Today is day 11. Somehow there was a strong cry, but fell asleep in one go. The first night is hard. It worked for me with both daughters, but I am convinced that children are different. Good luck to all!

What a terrible technique! A child under 3 years old definitely needs his mother’s warmth, hugs, affection!

Good evening, we tried this method one evening, the child never yelled like with this method. Moreover, we still depend on the breast. How can you think of that.

Children falling asleep using this technique, Welcome to IT.

Child abuse? And you have twins and jump with them 24/7.
This will be a mockery of the parents. Even in two with his wife, put them down for 1.5 hours in the evening, then if they wake up at night for 2 hours, they still jump and during the day another 0.5-1 hour. A shameful waste of time.

Basically two camps of commentators.
1 camp, of course, the method is supported and, of course, only enthusiastic comments are left.
Camp 2 has gone all out and basically puts pressure on a few things.
– violation of communication – trust between the child and the parent.
That is, commentators offer to indulge all the whims of their child and take a little something in their hands and calm them down. Well, we have gone through all the stages of this indulgence. From simple words to hands.
In the end, the child (one more attached to his wife, one to me) who is more attached to me simply refused to go to bed at 1.5 years old. And if you put him in bed with a demand, he yells to be picked up. REQUEST! and only with your favorite blanket and nothing else. It is simply impossible to put in a bed, a terrible hysteria begins.
That is, the child has reached the state of manipulation of the parent.
The second child behaves in a simpler way, but in general, in relation to his wife, the same way. It is possible to lay down only after long motion sickness on the hands. My blood, which is attached to me, can only be laid in a deep sleep. It’s about an hour on hand.
– the second point that is being actively discussed is tantrums, fainting due to hysterics, mental disorders.
Your mother. Your child can hysteria and cry from anything. From colic at an early age to a thorn in the foot on the beach. Will you wipe your child’s drool every time?
I was a mother’s boy myself. And until the age of 25, he remained like that, stealing money from his father, and his mother bought cigarettes, fed and clothed him. Until one day he found himself in conditions of survival without papa and mama. After that, the world turned upside down. Now I am a financially secure person, absolutely independent and independent of any circumstances.
I have a wonderful wife and two wonderful children.
What future do you want for your children? That’s the way I was before 25 and would probably be the same up to 50? Or maybe you want your children to be independent from an early age and not rush a little on your neck, a little something goes wrong?

The method is stupid, but it works. Stress is really useless for a child, but you don’t torment him week after week. We are talking about 1-3 days of real stress for the child.
We applied this method abruptly and without returning to the room.
1.5 hours we tried to put them down. Then he and his wife defiantly left the room and that was it. Yelled for 30 minutes. Then they slashed.
Yes, the first evening and daytime falling asleep was hard for them.
But each subsequent day they calmed down much faster and already without tantrums, but only with whining. And sleep became stronger and better.
After 3 days of literally this method, children already after 30 minutes sleep a sound and healthy sleep.

I would like to note that our children sleep quite well at night. We spend a lot of time with our children throughout the day. So they are not deprived of attention. At night, if we wake up, we are still rocking in our arms or in the crib if we quickly reacted to whims.

An independent child really learns to control his emotions on his own, falling asleep and healthy sleep for a child is a real necessity.
So to sacrifice 2 days of hard stress and get a child falling asleep on his own or babysitting him for at least 5-6 years is the choice of everyone.
But do not be surprised after 40 years that your child asks for money for a bottle while sitting at the computer and playing toys or sitting in VKontakte. The fault of such upbringing will be only you.

I think for the most part those who have babies of 3-12 months are aroused. The parent of such a baby is hysterical and crying like a knife to the heart. But it passes, believe me. He himself was the same. And I have two of the same age. In my case, if humane methods do not work, I have to resort to radical ones.
Sooner or later you will realize that this is not a way to jump for 5 hours with a baby. It’s about 3-4 days, not months.

Here you are, adults, you somehow sleep in silence and in the dark and in a separate room and no one is sitting next to you … so why not teach this to a child???
From this, strong personalities are formed and not amoebic little men who spit on everyone and mom runs after them and wipes this drool and apologizes …
This is normal, you need to teach the child independence – but explain, help, talk. As the doctor writes – “let them cry and come … make it clear that mom will come anyway, and let them cry again and come and the baby will understand that he is not alone and you can sleep peacefully”
All such straight mothers mothers – give free rein to your children, and they will be calm and happy))

My daughter is 30 years old and is now the mother of a 3 month old daughter. I did not know any methods, but I really needed to go to work in the 90s. At 6 months old, I tried to leave the child alone at 20-30 to fall asleep in the crib. The first days she screamed for 30 minutes, then 15, 10, 5, then she babbled and fell asleep herself. So I made life easier for myself. Nothing, my daughter did not lag behind in development, and in the evening I felt like a free woman. Moms, from six months of the child you need to start loving yourself. Nothing will happen to your child, psychologically speaking. Take care of yourself!!!

I completely agree with the comments, I read the article there, they explain everything more softly, but what is the best thing to do so that the child is better ??

What kind of Kerest just read! Disgusting experiments, nothing more. Instead of providing the little man with peace and confidence that he is not alone and Mom is nearby. Some garbage to do. Let these Americans experiment on each other better

What kind of fashion did they take, as in American films, to leave tiny children in a separate room?

It has already been proven in foreign literature that this method is unacceptable and really harmful to the child. The level of the stress hormone in such children goes off scale and leads to irreversible consequences in the conditions of the formation of the psyche. Moreover, studies were conducted where they found that even if the children stopped crying with this method, as it turned out, this was due to an increased stress hormone and the “freeze or flight” reaction (that is, the children seemed to freeze). This method leads not only to the formation of distrust of the child with the closest people, but also subsequently to low stress tolerance.

It seems that many do not know how to read and delve into the essence of the text)) Ferber does not call on parents to torture and make their children faint, but offers a method by which both children and parents can finally normalize night sleep. There is no cruelty here. You need to pause and watch the baby. And if the child does not calm down or the cry of pain / hunger, then you need to take the child in your arms.

This is child abuse. Do you think your parents did this? Remember that little you who was very lonely and scared in the dark in the crib. Remember how you begged your mother to come, stroke, take in your arms, kiss and give protection. Remembered? Don’t do this to your children.

He will not fall asleep, but will faint from overload

However, this method is very harmful to the psyche of the child.

Baby sleeps only on my chest: I’m going insane, newborn will only sleep on my chest : NewParents

Is co-sleeping safe for babies? We asked the experts – TODAY

Bed-sharing with baby

Sleeping with baby on your chest

Sharing a bedroom with baby

Breastfeeding in bed

How to choose a safe crib, bassinet or play yard

Free portable baby cribs

What you need to know about other baby sleepers

Baby Won’t Sleep in the Bassinet? Why and What to Do (Complete Guide)

2 Reasons Putting Baby to Sleep in a Bassinet Is Important:

4 Reasons Why Your Newborn Won’t Sleep in the Bassinet

4 things you can do to help your baby sleep in the bassinet.

Conclusion

Safe sleep for your baby

KEY POINTS

What is safe sleep?

How much sleep does your baby need?

Where should your baby sleep?

How do you put your baby to sleep safely?

How does breastfeeding affect safe sleep?

Are there other ways to help reduce your baby’s risk of sleep dangers, including SIDS?

Can a bedtime routine help your baby sleep?

What is tummy time?

Sleep in Infants (2-12 Months)

What to expect

Safe Sleep Practices for Infants

How to Help Your Infant Sleep Well

Parents Gamble With Infant Sleep Guidelines

Sleeping safely | Ready Steady Baby!

Sudden infant death syndrome

What increases the risk of SIDS?

Helping your baby sleep safely

Do not sleep on a sofa or chair

Sharing a bed with your baby

When your baby should always sleep separately

How much sleep’s normal?

Unusually sleepy baby

Crying

Plagiocephaly

Help us improve NHS inform

The baby does not sleep without a breast

Baby only sleeps with breast in mouth – how does this affect sleep?

What techniques can be used to separate food and sleep?

Baby falls asleep with breast only

The man immediately warned that all the property was registered to the children

Such a salary – I don’t want to work

Lies 22 years long. How to destroy?

Husband left, 2 months of depression… How will you cope if you are left all alone?

A man wants a family with me, but he doesn’t have enough money!

Terrible character.

Bacterial vaginitis and gender of the child

Why are there so many corrupt men today?

What is your deepest sexual fantasy?

Thyroid problems?

How to wean a child from breastfeeding

How to do it

If the baby is not ready to give up the breast

They say one of the most effective ways to wean a baby is to smear mustard, pepper or something else that tastes bad on the nipples. Is it worth it to do so?

When you decide to wean your baby

My child does not sleep well – In our paradise – LiveJournal

Myths and misconceptions about children’s sleep

The baby does not sleep because he is not full enough. Need to be fed.

Milk is not nutritious – add semolina, porridge, then the child will sleep better.

Children sleep better on AI.

The child does not sleep because he is not tired enough. You need to make him more tired.

The child does not sleep well because it is hereditary.

Early bedtime/early rise is not suitable for the child as he is a “lark/owl.” Therefore, it is better to accept and wait until he outgrows the problems with sleep.

Teeth and growth spurts are to blame for bad sleep.

The child should be taught to sleep with noise.

It is imperative for a child to sleep in a pram outside.

The baby constantly sleeps on his chest, in his arms, because he lacks warmth and affection.

All children do not sleep well and this is normal. You just have to get through this period.

Cry it out method of falling asleep: controlled crying and sleep