Questions to ask at a parent teacher conference: 12 questions to ask during a parent-teacher conference

12 questions to ask during a parent-teacher conference

Parent-teacher conferences are one of the most useful tools that we have as parents to ensure our children are getting the most from their education. But as helpful as they are, they can be downright stressful for everyone involved. Parents want to get the lowdown on how their children are doing, and teachers want to make sure they communicate everything a parent needs to know about their teaching style and how the child is performing in school — all in a 15-minute block of time.

With so much to cover in such a short amount of time, we asked experienced educators for their thoughts on what parents can do to get the most out of parent-teacher conferences.

The goal of parent-teacher conferences

Chris McDonald, a Massachusetts elementary school teacher of 26 years, says that parents and teachers have similar aims when it comes to conferences.

“The parents should be looking to gain insight into how the day goes for their child while they’re in the school building and away from them,” McDonald says. “How are they doing with the academic work? How are they doing socially with the other children? How are they feeling emotionally?”

“And for the teacher, it’s similar,” McDonald continues. “I want to gain insight into how things are going for them at home when they’re away from me because it helps me to understand their child better. Are the parents divorced? How does the child spend their nights? What do they like to do outside of school? Are they feeling good emotionally at home?”

The ultimate goal for both parents and teachers should be to get a well-rounded understanding of what is happening with the child in their day-to-day life because it informs how they end up performing academically.

Questions to ask at a parent-teacher conference

Building a healthy partnership with your child’s teacher can make all the difference in his school experience, so you’ll want to make sure you’re asking the right questions when you meet.

We asked McDonald, Debbie Shiabu, executive director of the Association of Private Schools, Anne Davis, education contributor for the parenting blog We Know Stuff, and Justin Baeder, director of The Principal Center, to give us their advice on exactly what to discuss at your next parent-teacher conference.

Ask and answer questions about your child’s life

1. May I tell you about my child?

No one knows your child better than you do, so it’s your job to help your child’s teacher learn more.

“Provide your child’s teacher with more information on what motivates your child, likes and dislikes, special skills, strengths and weaknesses,” Shiabu says.

McDonald agrees that this is the most important thing a parent can communicate to their child’s teacher. “I can do a better job of helping your child learn if I understand them better,” he says.

2. May I tell you about what’s going on at home?

Situations like illness, divorce or a new baby may affect your child’s school experience, so inform your child’s teacher of such circumstances.

“Even knowing if the child goes to one home on certain days and another home on other days can be helpful,” McDonald says.

If home life circumstances change dramatically in between conferences, be sure to drop your child’s teacher a note to let them know.

According to Davis, the way the child functions socially in the class is a topic that should be addressed at a conference, so inquire about your child’s peer relations. A child’s social development is just as important as their academic development, and your child’s teacher will have made useful observations they can share with you.

“Parents don’t always think to ask, but it’s important to know if your child interacts well with the other children,” McDonald says. “Are they a good friend? Do they help out if another student is struggling?”

These are all important skills that go into measuring a child’s overall development.

4. How is my child doing emotionally?

It’s important to ask about your child’s emotional health at school. For example, is your child generally happy? Are there certain times of the day when your child seems stressed out or agitated?

McDonald says, in one case, she suggested to a parent that her child bring a small snack to school because the child seemed to be having trouble every morning after a couple hours of work, and she wondered if it was a low blood sugar issue. Once the child had a snack he could grab during that time, he was able to refocus on their work more easily and his overall performance improved dramatically.

Ask about your child’s academic performance

5. What are my child’s academic strengths and weaknesses?

Your child’s teacher sees your child from a different perspective than you do. Ask the teacher what personal weaknesses your child needs to work on, and listen to the response with an open mind. Ask about their strengths, as well, so you can encourage them to continue doing good work.

McDonald says parents often have higher academic expectations for children than the teacher does, particularly early on in the year, so getting the teacher’s perspective can be eye-opening.  

6. Is my child performing on grade level?

At a conference, parents should expect to see examples of their child’s work. Baeder says parents should ask “how this compares to grade-level expectations, but don’t try to compare your child to other students. ” Each child is different and has different strengths and learning abilities.

McDonald stresses that teachers will absolutely let parents know if they are concerned that a child is falling below grade level, so this isn’t something to get too hung up on unnecessarily. The most important thing here is to know if your child’s performance is where it should be, and your child’s teacher will be able to tell you that definitively.

7. What do academic performance assessments mean?

When it comes to standardized testing and other assessment results, Baeder tells parents, “Don’t feel bad about asking ‘What does this really mean?’ Increasingly, assessments are given for school-level progress-monitoring purposes, and it’s best not to get too worked up about precisely interpreting every detail.”

In other words, what is typically being graded by the standardized testing is the school itself, not your child specifically.

Your child’s teacher can tell you if your child is falling behind in a skill or a subject, like math or English. Armed with that information, you can create a plan with your child to work harder in that area before it’s too late.

“Work with your child’s teacher to create a plan to help your child progress well in school,” Shiabu says.

There may be specific things you can do at home to help, such as hiring a tutor or helping with homework.

Questions to ask if your child is having trouble in school

9. May I share a concern?

If you’re worried about a situation at school, bring it up with the teacher.

“The worst thing parents can do is just wait and wait and wait,” Davis says.

Teachers usually appreciate when parents bring an issue to their attention, as long as it’s done with respect. For example, if you’re concerned about the amount of time your child is spending on their homework, this is the time to open the discussion with their teacher. Teachers and parents all have the same goal: to do what they can to ensure that the children have a successful school year.

“If you’re concerned about it, it’s probably something I’m thinking about, too,” McDonald says.

10. Can you fill me in on a particular situation?

When your child has complaints about what’s going on at school, Baeder advises parents to ask for clarification from the teacher, as often your child’s side is the only side you’ve heard.

This can include anything from a peer-to-peer issue or a teacher that your child is having trouble with. If you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere after the conference, contact the principal or dean of students with specific situations.

End with these important questions

11. How can I help at home to support what you’re doing in the classroom?

Davis suggests that parents ask, “What can I do to support you in the classroom?”

There might be supplies you can purchase, prep work you can do at home or skill practice you can work into your child’s routine at home.

McDonald agrees that this is one of the most important questions a parent can ask. “I wish every parent would ask what they can do at home to help their child,” he says. “When parents are more involved, the children tend to struggle less.”

12. What’s the best way to communicate with you?

Teachers have a lot of students and parents trying to talk to them during any given school day, so it’s important to get an understanding of how they prefer to communicate. Some teachers prefer email, phone or face-to-face while others may use a school communication app such as ClassDojo or Remind. Find out which method your child’s teacher prefers so that you can communicate questions or concerns to them in the best way.

Insightful questions to ask during parent-teacher conferences

Attending parent-teacher conferences and asking insightful questions can help you stay on top of your student’s performance, skills, challenges, and behavior in the classroom. You can also build a collaborative relationship with your children’s teachers and discover more ways to help your student outside the classroom, too. Let’s explore the types of questions you should ask at a parent-teacher conference.

Questions About Academic Performance

“students-in-class-with-teacher-reading” licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Flickr by www.ilmicrofono.it

How well your student is doing academically is likely one of your top priorities as a parent, so ask some of these questions to learn what they excel at, what they can improve, and how you can help:

1. What are some of my student’s strengths?
2. What are some of my student’s challenges?
3. How does my student perform in specific subjects (math, reading, science, history, etc.)?
4. How does my student do on homework assignments, quizzes, and tests?
5. How does my student do on in-class assignments and in discussions?
6. Is my child at the right reading level for their age and grade?
7. What can I do at home to better support my student’s academic success?
8. How do you promote independence and self-guided learning in the classroom?

Questions About Social Performance and Emotional State

Ask these questions to understand how your student appears to feel during lessons and activities:

1. How does my student do in social situations with peers?
2. How does my student act in social situations with authority figures?
3. How is my child’s emotional health while in class?
4. Does my student like to get involved in class discussions and with their peers?
5. What can I do at home to better promote the behavior expectations you have for class?

Questions About the Classroom

Knowing what the daily schedule is and the kinds of assessments and activities your student is taking part in while at school is important for identifying how well they’re handling any possible pressure and whether they are comfortable in their environment:

1. What is the daily typical schedule for my student?
2. How often do you schedule quizzes or tests?
3. How often do you give homework?
4. How do you handle social challenges that arise during class, at recess, or during lunchtime?
5. What is your philosophy regarding classroom discipline?
6. What is your philosophy on rewarding students for hard work, good behavior, and high grades?
7. Does the school offer peer or professional tutoring?

Questions About the Curriculum

Ask questions like these to learn more about what your child is learning, why, and how they’re doing with their schoolwork:

1. Can you describe your teaching style?
2. What skills are you working to develop right now?
3. How do these skills relate to the goals of the entire school year?
4. What are the five most important skills you want students to develop this year?
5. Does my student have to take standardized tests? When?
6. How do you prepare students for standardized tests?
7. How can I help prepare my student for standardized tests?

Questions About Communication

Use these questions to discover how you can build a partnership with your student’s teachers:

1. What is the best way to contact you? Do you have a preferred method for contact?
2. Can I tell you more about my student?
3. Can I tell you more about what’s going on at home?
4. How can I stay informed of school programs and my student’s success?
5. What questions would you recommend I ask my student every day after school to stay informed about their performance?

Questions About Particular Issues

Here are four general issues your child might encounter:

They Need More of a Challenge

Ask these questions if you feel that your student is doing so well that they may need more advanced lessons:

1. What can we do if my student isn’t being challenged enough in the classroom?
2. Does the school have a gifted program?
3. What type of testing does my student need to undergo to qualify for the gifted program?
4. What activities can we introduce to support my student’s learning?
5. Are there opportunities for self-guided learning?

They’re Struggling Academically

Ask these questions if your student is struggling to keep up with the goals for their grade level and age:

1. What do you suggest I do at home if my student is struggling with homework, a project, or studying?
2. What are the biggest academic challenges for my student?
3. Do you foresee any additional academic or social challenges for my student?
4. Do you think my child should take a special education evaluation?
5. What resources do you or the school have to help my student better keep up with their peers academically?
6. Does my student respond better or worse to certain types of teaching?
7. Does my student respond better or worse to certain subjects?

They May Have Issues With the Teacher or Teaching Methods

Understand the teacher’s approach and perspective to identify possible tension between the teacher and your student:

1. What is my student’s overall attitude in class?
2. Does my student’s attitude change in certain situations?
3. What challenges are you having with my student?
4. How do you typically handle the challenges you may have with my student?
5. What can I do at home to better help you overcome the challenges you may have with my student?

They May Have Issues With Other Students

Peer socialization is a big part of going to school at every age, so making sure that your child is making friends and learning how to interact with others is key:

1. How would you describe my child’s socialization style?
2. Have you noticed any bullying in the classroom? From my student? From other students toward my child?
3. How do you handle bullying and other negative behavior in the classroom?
4. What is the school’s policy on bullying?
5. Who should I speak to if I believe my student is being bullied?
6. What can I do at home to help my child make friends and improve their interactions with fellow students?

Questions After the Conference

At the end of the conference, consider asking these questions to keep the conversation going and stay an active part of your child’s academic success:

1. When can we follow up on my student’s progress?
2. Should we have a meeting with other faculty (academic counselors, gifted program teachers, special education teachers, etc. )

Communicating with your student’s teachers during these conferences can help you find the best strategies for supporting your student and their teachers’ efforts. Here at Crème de la Crème, we value the strong partnerships we build with our student’s parents and caregivers because we are dedicated to giving your child the education they deserve. Contact us to learn more about how we can jumpstart your child’s success.

50 Questions to Ask at Parent Teacher Conferences

Resources / School

Posted by Julie David

Parent teacher conferences are a brief but valuable window into the world of your child. While you will realistically only have time for a few questions, this list of 50 is a great resource to help you build understanding and communication with your child’s teacher.

Before you go, ask your child, “What do you think your teacher will bring up?” Take notes. Ask yourself the same question and write down your answer, along with any questions you have.

Questions to Solidify Your Partnership with the Teacher

1. What is your preferred method of asking a question about my student: email, phone or a note in the planner?
2. What can I do to support you and make your job easier as we work as a team for my child’s growth this year?
3. What can I do at home to keep academic and behavior expectations on track?
4. How can I best stay on top of what is happening at school? In the classroom? 
5. What do you suggest we do if we are at home and my student gets “stuck” on homework?
6. What is your teaching style and how can we be consistent with those methods at home?
7. What are your suggestions for limiting online time and social media for this age?
8. Does my child have too many extracurricular activities from your vantage point? How do I know if he/she is overbooked?

Questions for the Beginning of the Year

For Lower Grades

9. Name the top five skills you hope children will walk away with this year. How can I help them be developed at home?
10. What questions would you recommend I ask my child on a daily basis about what is happening at school or in your class?
11. What can we do at home to encourage growth in a fun and stimulating way?
12. Are there field trips and is there a cost to the families?
13. How can I help my child be more organized with homework without completely taking over?

For Upper Grades

14. How do I help my student gain independence in middle/high school?
15. How can I stay aware of any behavior issues that may arise at school?
16. What is your policy on late homework and make-up work? How does that influence grades?
17. How do you handle absences and missed tests or homework?
18. What will have the biggest impact on my student’s grade in your class?

Kindergarten teachers, keep all your parent teacher meetings organized with a sign up.  View an Example

Questions to Get a Feel for Your Child’s Progress

For Lower Grades

19. Is my child performing on grade level in math and language arts?
20. Are there behaviors you see at school (both good and bad) that you think I might not be seeing at home?
21. What subject area is emerging as my child’s strongest this year? What subject area still needs more progress?
22. How does the school handle standardized testing and prep for those tests?

For Upper Grades

23. I know grades don’t tell the whole story. Is my student giving his or her best effort?
24. What are some essential skills for college that you see are still a “growth area” for my student?
25. How can I encourage age-appropriate accountability at home to support what you are doing in class?
26. What are you observing in regards to my child’s organization skills? How can I encourage them to be more organized without doing it for them?

If Your Child is Excelling Academically

27. Are there ways you personalize learning in your classroom?
28. What are some ways I can enrich my child’s learning experience in your subject area (or overall) at home?
29. What are some strategies you use to encourage critical thinking in your classroom?
30. As my student gets ready for higher-level classes, what areas could they be working on to get them ready for harder coursework to come?

Keep track of meetings for multiple grades and teachers with a tabbed sign up. View an Example

If Your Child is Struggling Academically

31. What are some modifications you might make if you saw a child struggling with your area of expertise?
32. What are some tools we can use at home to help my child grow in his understanding of the basic math concepts you are teaching in your class?
33. Is my child at a point where you would suggest additional help such as a tutor or enrichment at home? Can you suggest any resources?
34. What can I do to support literacy when my student is at home?
35. My student struggles with spelling. How do I help them without humiliating them (especially if they are older)?
36. What are some books you think my student would enjoy if she doesn’t like to read?

If Behavior is a Concern

Genius Tip: It might be good to take notes and hold off on responding/defending your child immediately so that it doesn’t get tense in the few minutes you have together. A follow-up conference might be beneficial.

37. What have you observed, both negative and positive, in regards to my child’s response to classroom behavior expectations? Are they polite and respectful to teachers and students?
38. What behavior modifications can we make at home to reinforce expectations at school?

If Your Child is Struggling Socially

39. Do you notice any difficulties my child is having socially at school?
40. Tell me about your perspective on this situation. What do you see happening?
41. Who is in place to catch conflicts that are happening in the lunchroom and recess? How are those handled?
42. What do you do to create psychological safety so kids know they can come to talk to you about problems?
43. What do you think is one area we could encourage at home to improve my child’s’ social skills?

Parents, volunteer for the classroom snack schedule with a sign up. View an Example

If You Have a Student with Special Needs

45. What are some ways that my student’s 504 or IEP is being fleshed out in your classroom?
46. What modifications will you make for my student during standardized testing?
47. Can you suggest tools to use at home as I help my child be successful in your classroom?

If Your Student is in a Gifted Program

48. Does this school have a resource teacher for gifted students? How is that teacher utilized by you and your team of teachers?
49. How are my student’s organization and social skills? What areas can they work on?
50. Are there enrichment opportunities outside the classroom that I maybe haven’t heard about?

Get the most out of your next parent teacher conference by using some of these questions to cultivate your partnership with your child’s teacher and inform yourself on what’s going on at school. Remember that you and the teacher both have the same goal: your student’s success in the classroom.

Julie David is married to a worship pastor and after 20 years in ministry together with three daughters, she is still developing the tender balance of thick skin and gracious heart.  She currently leads a small group of high school junior girls.

Parent-teacher meeting: instructions for use

When my children went to kindergarten and school, I hated parent-teacher meetings and did everything to avoid them. It seemed to me that these were two (or even more) hours torn out of my life, boring and endless. And all the time I asked myself two questions: “Why me, and not dad, or grandmother?” and “Is it really impossible to communicate everything important by e-mail or in an electronic diary?” And then I learned to extract the maximum benefit at the minimum cost. I tell you how.

Before the meeting: what to ask

It’s worth asking yourself why I’m going to the meeting. Not “why”, but “why”, that is, what goals do I set for myself?

For example:
1. Get to know the class teacher and subject teachers. What kind of people are they, what are they? How do they speak – clear or vague? Are they passionate about what they do?
2. Get to know the parents of classmates. Find out how much you have in common. Maybe someone lives nearby? Or will it be possible to learn lessons from someone in the future? Or maybe someone will be the parents of your child’s best friend?
3. Get information. Be as specific as possible about what you want to know. Divide your questions into blocks: the educational process, the daily routine, entertainment and recreation, shopping and spending (more on that later). A separate block of questions concerns your own child. What is easy for him and what is difficult? What is worth working on? Who are his friends? How does he rest during breaks?

Sample questions before parent meeting

Study process:
1. By what criteria are children divided into groups in foreign language lessons? Can I move from group to group?
2. When are important tests and assessments scheduled for key subjects? What are the evaluation criteria?
3. What educational literature should be purchased in addition?
4. What are the requirements for subject books for notebooks? Can I use notebooks with a picture on the cover? And a folder with interchangeable blocks?
5. What is the lesson schedule?
6. In what weather are physical education lessons held outside, and in what weather are they held in the hall?

Daily routine:
1. Bell schedule;
2. What break is breakfast or lunch supposed to be?
3. How and where can children who bring their own food and not eat in the school canteen eat?

Entertainment and recreation:
1. What games can I bring to school to play during recess?
2. Schedule of school holidays;
3. Planned trips and excursions (what, when, mandatory or not).

And so on and so forth. Make your own list and take it to the meeting.

Before the meeting: what to bring with you

• In addition to the list, be sure to bring something with which (and with) you will write information at the meeting. I used to take a pen and notepad, now I put everything on my tablet or laptop right at the meeting. The main thing is that the records are not lost.
• It is also important to take with you (if you don’t remember by heart, of course) the document numbers – your passport and the child’s birth certificate (or passports if you have a high school student). It is likely that you will need to fill out applications that require you to provide this data.

At the meeting: the more efficient, the faster

So the meeting begins, you open your notebook, sharpen your pencil and prepare your list.

First. Sit down so that you can write comfortably (better at your desk) and see the blackboard and the teacher.

Second. Mute your mobile phone. Consider that you have come to a meeting with important business partners.

Third. An important rule: first listen, then ask. Most of your questions will be answered by the teacher during his presentation – he was also preparing for the meeting. Check or cross out those questions that have been answered.

Fourth. Record everything if possible. Very often it happened to me that I first listened and thought, “I’ll write it down later, if it’s important.” And then she didn’t make it. Now I write everything down, because throwing out unnecessary information is easier than getting what I heard.

Fifth. If questions arise during the teacher’s explanation, do not ask them immediately, but mark them in your notes by underlining or circling them. It is better to ask them all in bulk later, this saves a lot of meeting time.

Sixth. Listen not only to “what” the teacher says, but also “how” he does it. Remember when we talked about how one of the goals might be to “get to know the teacher”?

Seventh. Questions about your child are best asked face-to-face. First, by asking them in the general part of the meeting, you delay others and add to them the very “boring” part that they do not need. Secondly, it may turn out that the teacher does not want to say some things in front of everyone and will do the right thing. Or, conversely, you do not want to hear them in front of everyone.

Eighth. At the end of the meeting, look at your list of questions – the one you prepared ahead of time. What remained unanswered? Do not forget to ask them – right at the very end.

After the meeting

Review your notes, decide what needs to be done urgently and what needs to be taken into account for the future. If any dates are announced – until what date to return the money for the trip or on what day the excursion is planned – put them on the calendar or pin a note on the refrigerator.

If you find out something unpleasant about your own child at a meeting, don’t rush to give him a scolding the same evening. Hold on for at least a day. It is important that emotions subside, and important issues are not resolved in a hurry. Remember that you are on the child’s side.

Julia Gadas

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Frequently asked questions at parent meetings. | Article (grade 1) on the topic:

Parent-teacher meetings

Answers to questions that parents often ask at parent-teacher meetings.

1. Should I sit with my child during lessons?

During the first year of schooling, the child must be taught to perform the task clearly and quickly, without being distracted. Indeed, very often a first grader does not know how to gather himself and concentrate, looks out the window instead of writing sticks. Before completing the task, it is necessary to analyze in detail with the child what exactly and how to do it. You have to teach your child to learn. Otherwise, he may forever hate the very concept of “lesson”. Gradually, when the child is already able to explain the homework himself, you can not sit with him, but it is necessary to control what has been done.

2. How to teach a child to answer oral lessons without hesitation?

When parents come home from work, they often ask: “You have prepared everything for written lessons”, as if showing that oral lessons are something of secondary importance. Those children who are used to telling a lot at home remember and respond well to oral lessons: the content of a book, a film, etc. But if attention to this is not paid enough at home, then when the child is asked the first retelling, do not limit yourself to the question: “Well, have you prepared the task, can you tell?”. Do not require mandatory reading aloud when preparing a retelling, because there are children who listen to their own voice and cannot concentrate. If the child could not remember the text, do not be angry with him, but help. Divide the text according to the meaning into small pieces, parts. Let him read and retell you in parts. Next, in grades 4-5, teach him to work on the text with a pencil. Read a paragraph – write down briefly the main idea, then tell the passage to yourself. And you, listening to the child’s story, pay attention to his intonation, to the fact that he speaks loudly, distinctly, expressively, competently. Sometimes an adult himself can read the text aloud for retelling, but only if the child is tired.

3. Can learning outcomes be improved if there is a backlog?

The backlog is most often overcome. It is necessary to provide assistance not only in mastering the school curriculum, but also in enriching the intellectual and emotional life of the child. Parents have an important advantage over the teacher: they can start teaching earlier and teach one child, rather than a group, reduce the time spent sitting at the TV, traveling to visit, and instead go with the child for a walk or an educational excursion in order to explain to the child what is happening to help tell others what they see.

4. What should I do if my child does only what he wants?

Unfortunately, in many families the child is allowed to do whatever he wants. There is no “no” for him. In such families, children command adults. Jean-Jacques Rousseau said: “Do you know the surest way to make your child unhappy: it is to teach him not to meet refusal in anything.” In an environment of permissiveness, without prohibitions and restrictions, children grow up who do not know how to control themselves. If someone opposes their will, they scream, make a scandal. The proverb warns us against this: “Believe the ageless sign – spoiled children cry for a century.”

From interesting to obligatory – this is the way of development of self-management in children. I don’t want to, but I will do it in order to achieve what I want – this is the motive that will make children persevere. Let the child hear from your lips: “This is not particularly interesting, but necessary”; “It’s difficult, but doable if you try really hard. ” Overcoming difficulties, support and praise of parents bring children a sense of satisfaction.

5. What should I do if a child brought a “deuce” for the first time, wrote ugly, carelessly in a notebook, committed a misdemeanor?

Unfortunately, very often our misfortune is that the family and the school join their efforts not to support the child, but to blame and punish him.

Often, when children fail at school, parents, without understanding, without delving into the situation, consider the child to blame. This leads to a decrease in self-esteem, and as a result – to more and more failures. Let’s try this situation on ourselves: “When I have troubles at work, my relatives immediately consider me guilty and scold me.” Isn’t it ridiculous? After all, when we have troubles, we count on sympathy, understanding, advice, and for this we tell our loved ones. And if we hear in response: “It’s my own fault,” then the desire to share our difficulties disappears, the mood does not improve. The child needs a sense of success. The main thing is that adults do not devalue it, as is often the case: “Were you praised at the music lesson? Well, the music is not the main thing. You better look at what dirt you have in your notebook … ”Remember: any area in which the child is successful is the most important. His achievements in it are a guarantee of achievements in other areas. If the parents firmly believe in this, then the child will also believe.

Children are extremely prone to generalizing both their failures and their successes. “If this doesn’t work out, then it means that nothing will work out in anything else.” And vice versa: “If it worked out, then everything else will work out.” The first of these ideas must be refuted, the second must be supported.

So, the position of parents that protects against the appearance of “chronic failure” can be formulated something like this: “Failures are temporary. What doesn’t work today will work tomorrow. After all, you cope well with other difficulties! ” But this position should be manifested not only in words, but in all the behavior of parents. In a calm attitude towards failures, in a benevolent attitude towards successes.

From the very beginning of the teaching it is necessary to instill faith and optimism in children, as they say, squeezing your parental vanity into a fist

Parents’ meeting “Evening of questions and answers”

Parents’ meeting.

A day of frank questions and answers.

Class – 7.

Participants – students, parents, teachers.

Purpose – to address the problem of children’s communication
adolescence – parents – teachers.

Tasks:

communication.

2. To teach the techniques of conflict-free
communication and feedback in communication.

3. Develop communication skills
student culture.

Preparatory phase.

1. Conducting a survey – “School
through the eyes of parents” and “School through the eyes of children” – the director of the school.

2. Student survey – classroom
supervisor.

Ø Good parents are…

Ø What would I like to talk about with
parents?

Ø My household chores.

3. Carrying out level diagnostics
upbringing and comparison of the results obtained with the previous year – deputy.
VR director.

4. Invitation of parents to the meeting
– classroom teacher.

5. Preparation of questions (in advance
questions are collected from students, from parents, from teachers – as
capabilities; if there are few questions, then they are picked up by the HR for BP).

6. Preparation of leaflets for parents.

Design:

1. On the board – the name, aphorisms:

Ø
phenomena, but above all and for the longest time, people. Of these, in the first place –
parents and teachers. A.S. Makarenko

Ø
capital letter. Sometimes it’s hard to get it out, sometimes it’s impossible, but you have to try.
always”. O.M.Kuvaev

2. Exhibition of drawings by the children of the class.

3. Exhibition of books on problems
parenting (for parents) and on adolescent issues (for students).

4. Question boxes for
parents, students, teachers.

Proceedings of the meeting.

All those present are divided into
three groups:

1. parents, 2. students, 3.
teachers are the expert group.

1. Opening remarks
Director for VR Pokrovskaya A.V.

(welcome, introduction to
the theme, program of the meeting and its tasks; analysis of the level of upbringing of students
class).

Good evening dear
parents, kids, teachers! You undoubtedly have many urgent matters, worries, but
Leave all worries and deeds behind the doors of this office and try to simply
communicate, talk about sore, and let’s hope that our joint
communication will allow us all to get to know each other better.

Our children are now in
at the age when in their life there comes a transitional moment from childhood to
growing up, they become teenagers. Right now, they are characterized by a sharp
manifestation of negative character traits, therefore both parents and teachers
faced with the problem: what to do next?

Let’s get together and try to answer
this question.

2. Analysis of the questionnaires “School through the eyes of parents”
and “School through the eyes of children” will be given by the director of the school Konicheva T.V.

– Tatyana Vladimirovna answers questions from parents.

leader (she is also a social teacher) Kostygova L.A.

Ø analysis of questionnaires of class students;

Ø Information about the state of upbringing
school-age children in the family (magazine “Education of schoolchildren” No. 3-2000,
p.16):

According to sociological surveys
the state of raising school-age children in the family, you can do the following
findings:

– Parents tend to have some
idealization of children, which is quite natural, so they try to smooth
problems of education that arise in the family.

– 30% of families are experiencing serious and
48% – with partial difficulties in raising children.

– Causes of difficulties in raising children
parents reduce to seven reasons, in the following order of their importance: lack of
material resources, lack of time, lack of teaching experience,
poor living conditions, negative impact of informal groups, lack of
help from the school and, last but not least, the unfavorable situation in
family.

– Complete understanding between
parents and children are available in 25% of families. However, in other families, parents
are not inclined to dramatize their relationship with children (about complete conflict
only 2% of families said parents).

– The main causes of conflicts between
parents and children – this is dissatisfaction with the attitude of children to learning, the content
leisure of children, rudeness towards elders, unwillingness to help around the house, choice
friends and excessive extravagance.

– The vast majority (92%) parents
believe that they do not have conflicts with children due to a misunderstanding of interests
the latter.

– The majority (65%) of families have
a democratic system where parents treat their children as “equals”.
Approximately a quarter of families have an authoritarian and 10% conniving lifestyle. AT
In the latter case, children have absolute freedom of behavior. Despite this,
the structure of educational influences in families with authoritarian and
permissive way of life is generally similar: here and there methods are often practiced
physical impact on children or infringement of their financial interests.

– Almost in all families (95%) by upbringing
mothers take care of children. In 35% of families, their fathers help them, and in about 20% of families –
grandmothers.

– In case of undesirable behavior
children, the main methods of education applied to them by parents are “reading
morality” and shouting.

– Up to 40% of parents believe that
the impact of the school on children has no educational effect, and only
10% of parents see a big positive effect from the impact of the school on their children.

– Interaction between parents and school in
parenting “moderate”: during the school year, parents meet with
teachers of their children an average of 3 times.

Ø Do we know each other well?
friend”:

Three couples play (parent – child).
When the facilitator asks the child about the parent, the latter writes the answer to
board (the child does not see what is written, as he stands with his back to the board). Child
answers, then the answers are compared. The child does the same
when the facilitator asks the parent a question. The pair with the most wins
matches.

Questions for children:

1. What will he do first?
When is your parent coming home from work?

2. What quality does a parent value in
people?

3. What can make a parent happy?

4. What subject at school
did the parent love?

5. As a parent loves to be
called?

Questions to parents:

1. What is your child’s favorite meal?

2. What will he do first?
When will the child come home from school?

3. What subject at school
does the child love?

4. What is your child’s favorite TV show?

5. What can make a child happy?

Ø Questions for the teams.

Children, parents, teachers take turns taking
from their boxes, leaflets with questions and answer them.

Class teacher and HR for VR
act as experts.

Questions:

№1 – parents and children.

“How are you at school?” the mother asks.
“It’s okay,” the son muttered. How did you write a math test? –
“Fine”. – “Did you eat at school?” – “Uh-huh,” throwing the bag and hiding behind the door,
he screams. – I went for a walk”

Questioner: Why didn’t the conversation take place? Who
made a mistake?

№2 – for teachers.

The teacher gives the children a task: to write
essay on my family. Suddenly a girl gets up: “Ekaterina Sergeevna, I
I will not write this essay. The affairs of our family do not concern you.” What to say?

Answer options:

A) calmly agree: “Well, why not
write – it’s your right”;

B) be surprised: “Vera, think about it: the topic
essays “My family”, and not “Secrets of my family”;

B) sternly warn: “You won’t write –
you get a deuce”;

D) to say frankly: “Faith, your families
I am absolutely not interested, it’s just that this topic is close and understandable to each of you”;

E) offer: “If you don’t want, don’t,
come up with a topic for your essay and write it – I don’t mind!”;

F) peacefully explain: “Faith, topics
I do not invent compositions, they are provided for by the program.

The correct answer is either B or
D.

No. 3 – to parents.

The child committed an offense. Mother,
having exhausted all the words, he says: “Do what you want, I don’t care.” Is it right
does she act?

Psychologist’s opinion:

Never show your child that you are
no matter what he does. He will immediately begin to check how “real
your indifference.” And, most likely, the test will be to commit
actions that are inherently bad. The child is waiting for criticism to follow
or not. Therefore, it is better to establish friendly relations with the child, even if it
Your behavior is completely unsatisfactory.

You can say this: “You know, I’m with you on this issue.
completely disagree. But I want to help you because I love you. At any
the moment you need it, you can ask me for advice.”

No. 4 – for parents and children.

Should children be encouraged with monetary rewards for
good grades?

Psychologist’s opinion:

Sometimes, in some cases, this can be used as
incentive to achieve the goal, but using such a system constantly is not
recommended because can lead to the development of consumer attitudes towards
life and people.

No. 5 – to parents.

Imagine the following situation: the son began to study poorly.
Father (mother) was called to school, they said about deuces, etc. Parents accept
Urgent measures. Which?

Psychologist’s opinion:

It is better not to spoil the relationship with the child, let it be
friendly. Try to find out the cause of failure and eliminate this cause.

No. 6 – for parents and children.

It is not uncommon to see the following. The child is not at home for a long time.
Parents worry, rush about, search. What if something happened? When is the child
appears, then … Your actions?

Psychologist’s opinion:

Parents should not attack a child with
negative emotions, it is better to first find out the reason for being late, and then
explain what you were worried about.

Children – explain honestly the reason for being late and do
conclusions.

No. 7 – for teachers.

Continue the phrase: “A good student is…”

No. 8 – to teachers.

What is your attitude towards negligent students?

No. 9 – for students.

What is the reason that the student (student) skips
lessons?

No. 10 – for students.

Who is more authority for you at home?
measure?

No. 11 – for students.

If you were a magician, what would you do for
your parents?

No. 12 – for students.

What do you like most about your parents?

No. 13 – to parents.

How much time a day do you spend with your children?

No. 14 – for teachers.

Why do some teachers yell at students?

No. 15 – for teachers.

Should a teacher love his pupils?

Summary of the meeting.

1. Children’s wishes to parents – read
pupils.

Journal “Education of schoolchildren”,
No. 6-2000, page 54.

spoil. I know very well that it is not necessary to satisfy all my
requests. I’m just testing you.

Ø Don’t be afraid to be firm with me.
I prefer to deal with strong people if they love me. It helps
I better define my place in life.

Ø If you make promises,
which you cannot fulfill, it will destroy my faith in you.

Ø Sometimes I say or do things
then, just to annoy you – do not succumb to provocations, otherwise someone
guarantee that later I will not try to achieve even greater “victories”?

Ø Don’t get too upset
strongly, if I broke a rude word addressed to you. I meant nothing
bad… I just wanted you to be sorry for hurting me.

Ø Do not do for me and for me what
what I can do myself. ‘Cause you won’t like it if I want to
use you as a servant.

Ø Do not expose too often
testing my honesty. By doing this, you can provoke me to lie …

Ø Treat me like your own
friend. Then I will also become generous. Remember, I learn by imitating you, and
not obeying morality.

Ø Don’t try to get rid of me,
when I ask too frank questions. If you don’t answer them,
I will look for information on the side, and you will see that I am generally just
I will stop asking you questions.

Ø Don’t worry about us
spend too little time together. What matters is how we do it
we conduct.

Ø Yes, I cannot develop successfully
without your support and approval, but you usually quickly get used to praise … but
you will probably never get used to the appropriate scolding…

Ø And, besides, I love you.
Please try to love me too.

2. Wishes for children (written on the board – read out
class teacher):

Ø Trust your parents – they are the best
people close to you, only they can help you, give good advice.

Ø Tell them about your
problems, failures, sorrows.

Ø Share your joys.

Ø Take care of your parents: they have
many difficulties.

Ø Try to understand them, help
them. Do not grieve them and do not resent them needlessly.

3. Wishes to teachers (reads s / d for VR):

Ø If the child is constantly criticized
– He learns to hate.

Ø If a child is made fun of, he
becomes closed.

Ø If a child is often reproached, he
deal with guilt.

Ø If you encourage a child, he
learn to believe in yourself.

Ø If a child is praised, he will learn
thanks.

4. Deputy Director for BP
Pokrovskaya A.V. thanks everyone for sharing and read out “Recipe
happiness”:

“Take a cup of patience, pour a full heart of love into it,
add two handfuls of generosity, sprinkle with kindness, sprinkle some humor and
add as much faith as possible. Mix it all well. Spread on
a piece of life allotted to you and offer everyone you meet on your
way”

(Irina Belyaeva – journal “Education
Schoolchildren, No. 7-2001, p. 20)

Reflection.

Unfinished sentences are written on the board, parents and
give the papers to the teachers. Please complete the sentences.

Ø For me it was new …

Ø I thought today .