Teaching kids about thanksgiving: Bright Horizons | Why is Thanksgiving Important? Teaching Children about Thanksgiving

8 tips for teaching kids about Thanksgiving

When many of us were younger, lessons about Thanksgiving involved little more than a tidy story about Native Americans and Pilgrims sitting down to share a cornucopia of food together in peace and harmony. The end. This account is a far cry from the full Thanksgiving story.

While a peace treaty between English settlers and the Wampanoag Tribe was signed in April of 1621 (despite many Wampanoag peoples opposing leader Massasoit’s decision), the relationship went sour. After the Pilgrims continued to encroach on the Wampanoag’s territory, a war broke out, and over 40% of the tribe was killed and many others were sold off into slavery. 

“As a result of the English language dominance and master narrative, many historical stories, such as the story of Thanksgiving, have been sanitized for children,” says Richard Meyers, an Oglala Lakota citizen, and the incoming president of the Association of Indigenous Anthropologists. 

But there are age-appropriate ways to share a more accurate and respectful history of Thanksgiving to young kids.  As you gather together to honor gratitude and celebrate family and friends, consider these tips on how to explain Thanksgiving to a child, according to the experts.

1. Start with what they know

Before sharing information about Thanksgiving with younger kids (think kindergarten), Alexandra Neves, professor of TESOL/bilingual education and the chair of Teacher Education Programs in the Western New Mexico University School of Education, suggests asking about/gauging what they already know, as opposed to treating the topic like a blank slate.

“Starting with what children know about the holiday is important because chances are they might have heard of some of the history and traditions before,” Neves says. “When we start with what kids already know, it gives them a chance to see that there is a different side — the indigenous perspective — to a story they’ve already heard.” 

“Starting with what children know about the holiday is important because chances are they might have heard of some of the history and traditions before. ”

— ALEXANDRA NEVES, PROFESSOR

Also, as Meyers notes, this provides a good opportunity for kids to start to learn critical thinking skills — not everything they hear is the whole truth.

Related: Kindergarten teacher breaks down racism and activism in video kids can understand

2. Commit to learning together

How graphic and detailed you get with your child, ultimately, is a personal decision, but regardless of the route you take (or how much your child previously knew), prepare for a barrage of questions — and keep in mind, you don’t need to have (or act like you have) all the answers. 

Instead, Neves recommends committing to “learning together.”

“You can explain that a lot of us have not heard the indigenous side of the story, so we don’t know a lot about it,” Neves says. “Offer to learn together by reading indigenous-authored picture books that talk about the holiday from a Native American perspective rather than from the European colonists’. ” 

“There is such beauty in the vulnerability of grown-ups sharing with their children that an account that they themselves grew up learning was not actually factual,” adds Shari D. Cameron, head of school at BASIS Independent Brooklyn Lower School. “This is the perfect time to teach young children that we are all constantly learning and reflecting on what we believe to be true in an effort to remain open to different perspectives and truths.”

“There is such beauty in the vulnerability of grown-ups sharing with their children that an account that they themselves grew up learning was not actually factual.”

— SHARI D. CAMERON, HEAD OF SCHOOL

Additionally, as Cameron points out: “Keep in mind, the real Thanksgiving story has many big themes which will not all be covered in one conversation.”

3. Go with the flow

Anyone who’s ever had a conversation with a kid knows that one topic can evolve into another at warp speed. Hence, Cameron notes, be ready and open for the questions and observations about society in general that may come after having a discussion about Thanksgiving’s real history.  

“The real story of Thanksgiving may pave the way for further discussions about fairness, injustice and disparity, which surprisingly, young children seem to be able to understand at a deeper level than many adults anticipate,” Cameron notes. “Adults should be open to flow in the direction that the conversation goes and be comfortable enough with not necessarily having all of the answers.”

And to that point, don’t be surprised if eventually your child is perceptive enough to ask why Thanksgiving’s real history has been seemingly shrouded in mystery all these years. A big question that you don’t need to necessarily have a concrete answer for, Meyers notes.  

“There’s not an exact age when it’s time to have a conversation about the hierarchy of the Western world and how it’s unfair,” Meyers says. “Instead, think of it more as a narrative that unfolds over time.” 

“There’s not an exact age when it’s time to have a conversation about the hierarchy of the Western world and how it’s unfair. Instead, think of it more as a narrative that unfolds over time.”

— RICHARD MEYERS, PRESIDENT OF ASSOCIATION OF INDIGENOUS ANTHROPOLOGISTS

4. Encourage intellectual curiosity

Just as Thanksgiving conversations can lead to discussions about other social injustices and revised histories, Meyers notes that it’s as good a time as any to encourage healthy curiosity in your child — in all aspects of life. Put another way: They should feel comfortable being inquisitive at home, at school and out in the world.

“Parents should encourage an intellectual curiosity that’s appropriate to the level of respect required,” Meyers says, explaining that a child needn’t be rude or demanding when they hear something they don’t understand (or even know to be false) when they’re at school or around someone else, but instead “respectful with healthy curiosity.”

“Parents can give the example that when they’re at someone else’s house and things are done differently, they just kind of roll with it at the time,” he says.  

5. Find the right resources

“There are plenty of books and guides out there that can help parents and teachers to discuss these issues,” Neves says. Here are a few she suggests:

• “The Circle of Thanks: Native American Poems and Songs of Thanksgiving”
• “Clambake: A Wampanoag Tradition (We Are Still Here: Native Americans Today)”
• “1621: A New Look at Thanksgiving”
• “We Are Grateful Otsaliheliga”

For older kids and parents, Meyers recommends the following books:

• “An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States”
• “Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong”

Cameron also recommends the following resources:

• National Museum of the American Indian
• PBS Kids for Parents

After discussing Thanksgiving’s history and/or reading indigenous-authored picture books, Neves suggests shifting the conversation and education to Native Americans today. “Be sure to make the point that Native Americans have not disappeared,” she says. “They are still here, including the Wampanoag.”

From reading to attending workshops to watching a video (this one is best for older kids), there are a number of ways to learn about tribes currently. Another great way to stay educated and up to date, shop at Native-owned bookshops, like Birchbark Books in Minneapolis or Red Planet Books & Comics in Albuquerque, New Mexico, or support them online.

7. Consider traditional food

In most households, food is at the center of a Thanksgiving celebration, so for some, it’s a good opportunity to learn more about traditional Native American foods (and hopefully be a gateway to other topics).

“The only thing my kids really knew about Thanksgiving when they were in preschool was that there was a lot of food,” says Rachel Levinson, a mom of two in Brooklyn, New York. “So instead of trying to explain things they were too young to grasp, we decided to start with learning about Native American food, and then made a few dishes for Thanksgiving. ”

8. Be thankful 

Thanksgiving has an ugly history, but it’s still OK to gather with loved ones, and in general, be grateful. In fact, Cameron notes, it’s important not to exclude gratitude from conversations about Thanksgiving with young kids. 

She says: “Parents and guardians should still make space for children to share with them the many things for which they are grateful and be prepared, and be willing to convey those things and people for which they are thankful as well.”

The point, of course, is to do these things while acknowledging indigenous perspectives and historical accuracy. In other words, depending on your child’s age, don’t only make it about turkey and being thankful.

“There’s nothing wrong with celebrating and being thankful during this time of year, but it is necessary to appropriately celebrate the many strengths and accomplishments of the Wampanoag tribe and other Indigenous Peoples,” Neves adds.

It’s also worth noting, Meyers explains, that within the Native American community, different perspectives on Thanksgiving exist. “When people, such as at the Wampanoag, feel robbed of something and know their history, there’s likely more of a mourning element,” he says.

He continues: “Some people in the U.S. go full in on the capitalist Thanksgiving; others celebrate it by not celebrating it for activist purposes. Personally, I’m happy to have the day off of work and spend time with my family.”  

How To Teach Your Kids the REAL History of Thanksgiving

As you figure out who’s invited to Thanksgiving dinner and what will be on the menu, your kids may be doing activities, crafts, or lessons about the holiday at school. But what, exactly, are they learning about the Native Americans and the Pilgrims and how this holiday came to be? A lot of us are fuzzy on the details, but we have some idea that the simple history we were taught as children is neither very accurate nor fair.

The more you research it, the more you’ll realize that the “first Thanksgiving” is mostly a myth, that the “Pilgrims” were not even called Pilgrims and didn’t even land on Plymouth Rock, and that the European settlers soon began massive land theft and violence against the Wampanoag people. So how can we explain this to curious or misinformed kids?

You can start by explaining that the indigenous people’s side of the story has not been told enough, so most Americans don’t know it. As Debbie LeeKennan, an anti-bias education leader, put it, “The traditional Thanksgiving presents the U.S. history from one perspective, that of the European colonist and not the indigenous people who were living here for thousands of years.” To get a more accurate picture and to avoid further marginalizing Native American cultures, she suggests using the holiday as an opportunity for you and your kids to learn more about North America’s history and culture from indigenous points of view.

Checking out some children’s books by Native authors is one great way to start learning and absorbing, even for kids who are too young to understand any of the history. This book list compiled by the Seattle Public Library includes indigenous-authored picture books, chapter books, young adult fiction, graphic novels, and more for all ages.

Another way to engage kids is to look at a map of tribal nations together and find out more about the history of the land you live on. Tribal Nations Maps is a good source for maps, puzzles, and postcards for your kids or their school. And if you’re looking for an online-only resource, the Native Lands interactive map makes it easy for you to explore your region with your child.

Further, you could try to familiarize yourselves with some of the countless contributions indigenous people have made to contemporary American culture: from common foods and agricultural practices, to the origins of words like chipmunk and barbecue, to everyday products such as cotton and moccasins, there’s probably some surprising history you can uncover alongside your kids, and add to your list of things to be thankful for—see more examples here for interesting starting points.

Also keep in mind that while some Native Americans may celebrate Thanksgiving, some definitely do not — in 1970, a group called the United American Indians of New England dubbed Thanksgiving as a National Day of Mourning of the genocide, theft, and marginalization of Native peoples and lands. Others think one day of giving thanks isn’t enough: as Anne Thundercloud of the Ho-Chunk Nation said, “We’re a very spiritual people who are always giving thanks. The concept of setting aside one day for giving thanks doesn’t fit. We think of every day as Thanksgiving.”

Of course there’s nothing wrong with celebrating seasonal foods and focusing on thankfulness during this time of year. But we could all benefit from expanding the realm of our knowledge and our gratitude to include more indigenous history and perspectives. For even more resources and ideas on how to do so at home — or how to encourage your child’s school to do so — peruse the links in this Racial Justice Guide to Thanksgiving for Educators and Families. 

Dealing with school closures, childcare issues, or other challenges related to coronavirus? Find support, advice, activities to keep kids entertained, learning opportunities and more in our Coronavirus Parents: Parenting in a Pandemic Facebook Group.

For ongoing updates on coronavirus-related issues and questions that impact children and families, please find additional resources here.

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How to teach children to be grateful

from Ksenia Lopukhina | Apr 15, 2017 | No comments

All of you have probably heard about such an American holiday as Thanksgiving Day. Thanks to whom? What? For what? Religious people on this holiday thank God, non-religious people remind themselves of what exactly they should appreciate in this life, and for which they are grateful.

Now imagine an overcast, gray day. Gloomy low sky and cold drizzle, making its way behind the clothes. You have just parked your car and, trying not to pick up all the puddles along the way, you are now driving your child to school or kindergarten. And suddenly, unexpectedly, your daughter says: “Mom, how nice it is on the street today! Smells so delicious! Such clean shiny cars! I love this day so much!” This little story is not made up specifically for this article. My friend told me how this happened to her and her daughter just recently. Of course, you can imagine how this gloomy morning was immediately transformed in her eyes. She no longer noticed the puddles and the low sky. She suddenly saw a beautiful new day that was worth appreciating. This is the power of gratitude.

Sometimes gratitude does not come spontaneously. But we can learn it, just like other useful habits. Every morning my friend would take a deep breath as she went outside and express her feelings of gratitude with words like, “What a beautiful day! What fresh air! How grateful I am for all of this.” (Yes, the last phrase is strange, but my friend is American. In the original, in English, it sounds more natural). So she taught herself to be grateful every morning, and her daughter, hearing her mother, learned with her.

But what does this give us? According to some research in the field of social psychology, developing a sense of gratitude helps people develop their Emotional Intelligence, social self-determination, and improve their health. More than a thousand people took part in one such study.0003

Health

• Lowering blood pressure
• Improvement of immunity
• Sleep improvement

Looking at these data, one gets the impression that it would be quite good to teach this to our children. So how do you do it?

Of course, our own example is the most important thing. Try to find time during the day to tell your child (and yourself) what you are grateful for in this life. For a warm sunny day? For a call from loved ones? For the most beautiful child on this earth?

Try not to repeat yourself and find around you more and more aspects of your life that help you to be happy and for which you are grateful. Your child will learn to do the same.

Here are some examples of gratitude activities that will be of interest to both your child and the whole family.

Bank of Thanks

For this activity, you will need an ordinary glass jar and a small stack of pieces of paper. Ask each member of your family to write on these sheets of paper every day what they are grateful for and put them in a jar. Every month, host a reading of your thanks with the whole family. You can already imagine how much joy and laughter such evenings will bring.

Tree of Gratitude

To make the Tree of Gratitude, you will need some tree branches, a vase, and a handful of stones or sand to stabilize the branches in the vase. Help your child cut out colorful leaves from colored paper, then either poke holes in them to string them onto branches, or sew loops through them with thread and a needle. And then – everything is the same as with the Bank of Gratitude. We write on pieces of paper everything that you are grateful for every day and hang it on a tree. Your family tree will flourish and get prettier every day, just like your gratitude.

Gratitude Journal

Of course, we will need a journal or a thick notebook. You can ask your child to decorate it with any materials that are at hand (colored paper, stickers, fabrics). When the journal is ready, start using it every day, describing in it what you are grateful for. And your child can be asked to draw there several times a week on the same topic. Over time, the Gratitude Journal will become your family heirloom, worthy of passing on to posterity.

And here’s another good idea: to develop a sense of gratitude in our children can be not only for all the good things in our lives. The next step (Master Yodo level) is to teach them to be grateful for the difficulties that we encounter along the way. It is thanks to them, solving and overcoming them, that we become stronger and wiser.

There are so many things we can teach our children. And even more things that we hope they will learn for themselves. But in the end, for us, as parents, the most important thing has always been and remains one thing: whether our child is happy. Appreciating this life, the people around us, and appreciating ourselves – this is the feeling of gratitude. So what are you grateful for today?

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Children’s Gratitude – Orthodox Education

Can children sincerely thank their parents and God? Or does the realization of deep gratitude to neighbors and the Almighty come much later? Should we teach gratitude to children, or should we cultivate this feeling in a child by example?

How often do you hear from parents hurt by the behavior of their children the phrase “Oh, you ungrateful!”, “I raised you (fed and watered you, didn’t sleep at night, etc.), but you”… Why does this happen? What do parents mean by gratitude, appealing to the conscience of children in a fit of emotion?

First, in order to understand the nature of gratitude from a child’s perspective, children should be divided into preschoolers and schoolchildren. Secondly, let’s define what gratitude is. Thirdly, it is necessary to understand who, whom and for what should be thanked.

Gratitude (from “ thank “) – a feeling of gratitude for the good done. Parents buy toys for their children, arrange a variety of leisure activities, take them to various classes, spend a lot of time and money on the safe, in their opinion, and comprehensive development of the child. Are the children thankful for it? At best, the child will say “thank you”. Although this is unlikely, because all of the above has become the norm for children. Why give thanks for something that happens as if by itself? And is it good or good? It’s a lifestyle. Children get everything easily, so they do not feel deep gratitude, but on the contrary, they shout “I want more”, “give me two”, and so on. Toys are easily broken and thrown away, not protected, stored and not inherited. It’s so easy to go to the store and buy a new one. In this way, this bright feeling of gratitude for everything that you have is gradually washed away; from an early age, children are not able to appreciate what they have. But the purchase of a toy includes parental labor, which also depreciates.

Psychologist Yu. Guseva about children’s gratitude:

— “Modern parent tries to give the child as much as possible. Theatres, museums, foreign trips, various clubs, an abundance of toys, expensive clothes, gadgets… All this surrounds an ordinary child. However, it is often possible to hear from parents that the child does not appreciate all this. And the resentment of parents is sometimes connected not only with the fact that the child loses or breaks things, but with the fact that the child takes everything that he has for granted, sometimes devaluing parental care. Parents, who in childhood did not have the opportunities that they provide now to their children, are very upset. It seems to them that if they had what their children have now, they would be just happy.

I wonder why children really do not appreciate what their parents give them? And should they appreciate it? Maybe we, modern parents, make some mistakes in education? Knowledge of age psychology can help us understand this issue.

Egocentricity is characteristic of a small child. Egocentrism is the inability or unwillingness of a person to look at what is happening from the point of view of other people, to put himself in the place of another person. The egocentrism of the child is manifested in the fact that the child considers himself the center of the universe, and parents exist only to satisfy his needs. And indeed, if you look at the life of young parents, then it is all subject to the desires and needs of the baby. With the advent of the baby, the whole way of life of the family changes, parents refuse entertainment, forget about their desires. Growing up, the child continues to consider himself the central figure.

In one experiment, a child was asked how many brothers and sisters he had. The children answered correctly. But when the same child was asked how many brothers and sisters his brother (sister) had, in this case he named one less. That is, the child did not consider himself. This is due to the fact that the child could not perceive himself as an “application” (as a brother or sister of someone), he could consider himself only the main, central figure.

Egocentric thinking contributes to the fact that the child considers everything that his parents do for him as completely ordinary and normal. From an early age, parents take care of the child and he takes this care for granted. And that’s okay. You should not expect any special gratitude from the child for what you are doing. Firstly, you are not doing this for the sake of gratitude, but for the love of your own child. Secondly, the child’s thinking is such that he simply cannot yet overcome his own egocentrism, look at the situation from your point of view. That is why the child, unfortunately, does not see that you are tired (although it would seem obvious) and want to relax. His desire right now to read a book or go for a ride on a merry-go-round turns out to be more important for him. That is why the child asks for a new toy, although you have said several times that you do not have the opportunity now. That is why he sings, even though you have a headache and you asked not to make noise. All this the child does not because he is spoiled. Thus, the egocentrism of the child is manifested. Of course, you should ask the child not to make noise and wait for the opportunity to buy a new toy. But you should not expect a complete understanding from the child.

When is egocentrism overcome? Does a five or six year old child still consider himself the center of the world? It turns out that egocentrism begins to be overcome at preschool age, but at the same time, as studies show, egocentrism is inherent in children even at the age of 8-10, even 12 years old. By adolescence, the child gradually begins to realize what parents feel and think, learn to listen not only to their own desires, but also to take into account the interests of others. In childhood (up to about 8-10 years old), a child’s love for parents is usually passive (parents are only a source of well-being for him). And only having entered adolescence, the child overcomes his own egocentrism and then there is an active (active) love for mother and father. It was then that a teenager begins to understand that parents have their own feelings, interests and desires, that parents exist not only to satisfy his needs and desires. A teenager begins to realize that parents care not only about themselves, but often deny themselves something for his sake. And then there can be sincere gratitude to parents.0003

It turns out that one should not expect gratitude from a child at all, knowing about the period of egocentrism? Is there any point in teaching this? From the point of view of psychology, maybe it is so, but parental instinct suggests that you should not let everything take its course and wait for 10 years of age. Yes, it is possible that children really will not be able to fully experience gratitude due to their age and psychological immaturity. But the upbringing of a child should include conversations about gratitude, therapeutic fairy tales, the lives of saints (who were always content with little and were grateful for everything) adapted for childhood, explanations about the feeling itself, putting ingratitude, permissiveness and their consequences as a counterweight. And, of course, a personal example.

Generally speaking, the inability to give thanks entails other inability – to honor and respect parents, for example. And taking goodness for granted can subsequently lead to arrogance, exactingness towards others, pride.

As regards adolescence, the relationship between parents and child is particularly acute and sensitive. And if in this case you say “Oh, you ungrateful”, “I hire tutors for you, pay for sections”, etc., he can simply say “I asked for all this”? If parents try to program their child’s life in their own way, then the software will not work. And instead of gratitude, the teenager will experience alienation. After all, everything was already planned for him, they chose a technical university, signed up for preparatory courses, hired a tutor in physics. And he likes to take pictures and engage in design. What kind of gratitude is that?

Rebellion of adolescence is useless to suppress. An exceptional example of thanksgiving will help the child in the future, when the storm of hormones subsides, to feel that very genuine gratitude to the parents for all their efforts and investments in it.

To be grateful means not only to be able to say a sincere “thank you”. Your gratitude can be expressed in different forms: from a gift (preferably not expensive, but made with your own hands) to helping a person who has done good (the size of the good does not matter).

It is important that a child understands that the ability to give thanks is a great and bright feeling that inspires a person and makes him better.

Thanksgiving and gratitude to God

“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

The prophet Isaiah says: The ox knows its owner, and the donkey knows its master’s manger (Isaiah 1:3). It turns out that if a person does not have gratitude to God, then it becomes worse than an ox or a donkey, who know their master, know from whose hands they receive food.

Thanksgiving was the very first thing Noah did when danger and hardship were over. What can we say about children, if we, adults, unlike Noah, often forget to thank the Lord for everything. But the liturgy is also called the Eucharist, which in Greek means “Thanksgiving”. And the main theme of common prayers is gratitude to God – for all the “manifest and unmanifested blessings that have been upon us.” These prayers begin with the priest’s call, “We thank the Lord!”

It is important and necessary to speak to children about gratitude to God. Children’s gratitude to God can be expressed through deeds of virtue, the eradication of bad habits, thanksgiving prayers in one’s own words.

When talking about gratitude, it is better to omit the instructive tone, and use forms accessible to children – fairy tales, poems, games. For example, when putting to bed, talk with your child about what good happened to him today, maybe someone helped him in something, or did a good deed, gave something. It would not be superfluous to simply thank God for the day, for the sun or rain, for relatives and friends, for the fact that no one gets sick.