Having a girl first: 17 Things No One Tells You About Parenting a Baby Girl

17 Things No One Tells You About Parenting a Baby Girl

Babies, sadly, do not come with an owner’s manual, which means that new parents have to figure it all out as they go. And baby girls present their own unique challenges. Not only do you have to teach her how to love what makes her a girl, but there’s the prospect of someday dealing with dating, parties, and the internet. But know this: You’re not alone in this parenting gig. You are surrounded by wise, kickass, hilarious, beautiful moms of baby girls, all of whom are most likely willing to share their expertise with you. With that in mind, here’s your crash course* in what it takes to raise a baby girl.

*Mandatory ‘not my kid!’ disclaimer: The following will not be true for all baby girls. Some things may also be true for baby boys. And if any of these don’t apply to your child, feel free to have a good laugh at everyone else’s expense and move on.

Baby girls’ often have seriously swollen labia after birth due to extra fluids and hormones in her body. Before you freak out and start saving money for labiaplasty, know this is totally normal and her labia will shrink down to a normal size within ten days, saysDavid Geller, M.D., a pediatrician for Baby Center.

RELATED: 6 Weird Vagina Issues — Solved!

Changing a diaper isn’t as simple as taking the old one off and slapping a new one on, and that is particularly true for girls. Thanks to all her nooks and crannies in her genital area, you’ll have to be particularly vigilant in cleaning. And don’t forget to wipe front to back to avoid transferring poop bacteria into her vagina. Nobody wants “baby’s first UTI” in their scrapbook.

Nothing can prepare you for the shock of seeing milky mucous, blood, or other seemingly adult fluids come out of your newborn baby girl. But a vagina is a vagina from day one, and these are totally normal in the first few days after birth. Why? You can blame your own hormones, which are still coursing through your baby girl. But any unusual discharge after the first week of life should be checked out by your pediatrician.

Sometimes a vagina is just a vagina. (OK, technically, if you’re looking at it, it’s a vulva.) But when it belongs to an adorable doe-eyed infant, sometimes it’s a pee pee, a front butt, a coochie, a twinkle, a vee, a ‘china, or some other ridiculously cutesy nickname. The best part is you won’t realize how goofy it sounds until you hear yourself saying it out loud in a public restroom.

RELATED: I Never Want to Hear the Word ‘Vajayay’ Again

Discovering their ‘nethers is often thought of as “something boys do” —  and is it something they definitely do — but girls do it, too, and it’s all part of their normal development. 

If you’ve ever burst into tears only to have your baby follow suit, even though she has no clue what’s wrong, you’ll understand that girls care deeply about other people’s emotions. This innate empathy manifests early and is due to brain differences in boys and girls, according to a research review published in the Scientific American.

Even before she can talk, your daughter is watching every thing you do. Cut your hair? She’ll cry. Put in earrings? She’ll yank them (and possibly use them to try to pierce her own ears). Get new shoes? She’ll wear them. But this adoration works both ways. If she sees you pinching your fat rolls, sighing on the scale, or refusing to be in pictures, she’ll think that’s what it means to be a woman and she’ll want to do that, too. 

RELATED: 50 Things You Should Never, Ever Say to Children 

The language center in baby girl’s brains lights up very early as they look for ways to communicate with you. This means that girls speak at a younger age, use more words, and speak in sentences long before their male peers, according to a study done by Northwestern University. And once they can talk? Many girls turn into regular chatterboxes, narrating their whole day for you.

From the second she learns how to take off her clothing, she’ll start expressing how she feels about what you’ve chosen for her to wear. Some girls are pretty easygoing, letting their moms dress them in tutus and headbands, while others rip those kind of accessories off at the first opportunity. Don’t fight her budding fashion sense — watching how toddlers dress themselves is half the fun.

Enter a baby store at your own peril, because there are so many insanely cute outfits for your little one. While boys are banished to a tiny corner in the back, the rest of the store is filled with fluffy dresses, sparkly shoes, and bows as far as the eye can see. Plus, people love to gift infant girl clothing — meaning that you’ll have to change her three times a day in order to get her in all those beautiful clothes while they still fit. 

RELATED: These 18 Newborn Babies Making Funny Faces Will Fill Your Heart With Joy

Dressing your daughter is rarely a matter of just throwing on a top and some bottoms. For instance, try to figure out this problem that’s stumped many a rookie parent: do tights go under a onesie, while leggings (which are basically tights without feet) go over a onesie? Or vice versa? Or try picking up a baby girl in a dress without sliding the dress up around her armpits — it’s a serious skill. Then there’s the issue of headbands. They’re adorable and they show the world that your bald-headed baby is a girl… until they inevitably slide down and cover her eyes. Welcome to the world of wardrobe malfunctions, baby girl.

Whether your daughter popped out of the womb in a tiara and fairy wings or hates pink ball gowns with a passion, the princess industrial complex is strong. She’ll soon know all the Disney princesses by name, sing all their songs, and see all their movies. You may think you’ll lose your mind due to glitter inhalation, but calm down — for most girls, the princess obsession is a phase that passes all too quickly, and before you know it you’ll miss the days when she wandered around the house singing ah-ah-ahhhhhh Ariel-style.  

For every girly girl in a Belle costume, there’s one in a ninja suit — and that’s totally cool. There are still some bizarrely gendered toys and clothes, and these should get the public mockery they deserve, but in the meantime make sure you take advantage of all the fun options girls today have for colors, themes, and toys. 

RELATED: 11 Adorable Ideas for a Gender Neutral Nursery

Think little boys have the market cornered on potty jokes? Then you’ve never met a little girl. Toddler girls are just as entertained by poop as boys are. And you just have to sneeze once and watch your daughter laugh hysterically to realize that bodily functions are universally funny. 

You love the name Sophia? Cool, so does everyone else. You could try to make it unique by messing with the spelling (like poor KVIIILyn) and confusing her teachers for the rest of her life. Or you could risk ridicule and pick a truly different name, just so you know that no one else will answer when you call for Dorcas at the playground. But whatever you pick, remember it will be the first thing people learn about her for the rest of her life. No pressure! 

RELATED: 7 Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

There isn’t a kid alive that doesn’t love a lipstick tube and a lack of parental supervision, but little girls seem particularly drawn to imitating their mothers’ makeup habits. Many moms have found their toddlers with a full face of eyeshadow, blush, and nail polish (yikes!). It may be funny at first, but some makeup does contain harsh chemicals or toxins, so keep it locked up tight. 

Quick, what was your first thought when you heard you were having a daughter? It was probably a mixture of delight and concern because, let’s be honest, this world can be a scary place to be a girl. But you’ll be surprised to discover how smart and tough your little one really is — and how smart and tough you are, too.

RELATED: New Research Confirms That Kids Get Their Intelligence From Mom

Boy First or Girl First? Which Is Better? – Triad Moms on Main

By TMoM Team Member Katie Moosbrugger

If you are pregnant with your first or second child – and do not know the gender of your unborn child – today’s post might pique your interest. Have you ever wondered whether it’s better to have a boy or a girl as your first born? If you have several children, is it better to have boys as the oldest? Or is it better to have  girls as the oldest? Are there pros or cons with either scenario? Should we even care to discuss this?

We’ve written about The Effects of Birth Order: Fact or Theory, but never about the effects of having a boy (or boys) as the the oldest or youngest in a family, and vice versa with girls. Believe it or not, I actually wonder about this a lot and am curious to know what you think.

To give you a little background on my perspective, I am the youngest of two. I have an older brother who is five years my senior. Growing up we rarely played with each other. Actually, he pretty much ignored me (and I don’t blame him!). When I was in 8th grade, he left for college. When I was starting college, he was already climbing ladders in his career. At the time, our worlds rarely collided. When we did connect he would ask me about school or my job – or give me advice on managing my money or dealing with our parents – as if he was my second father. And all that was OK with me. After all, he was my much older brother who I looked up to (and still do!).

I recognize our age difference played a big part in how we interacted, but I also know families who have children our same ages – just opposite genders – yet the sibling relationships were just the contrary. The older daughter played often with her younger brother, they stayed in touch even if the older sister was in college or working in another city, and they interacted with one another as if they were the same age – on the same level – despite the age difference.

Fast forward to today. My daughter is about three years older than her brother. They play together all the time  – and often as equals. Sure, they are young (ages 8 and 5) and they may quickly grow out of this sooner than later. But I can’t help wonder if first born daughters encourage closeness in sibling relationships and if this will continue.

So I’ve been asking friends this same question to see how it plays out in their families – both with their siblings and with their children. As a result, a lot of perceived “pros” and “cons” came out in conversation. Some are obvious but others are up for debate.

Based on experiences with your own siblings and children, do you think these pros and cons add up? Or is all just a bunch of baloney?

Perceived Pros of Having Boy Before Girl
Stronger
Decision maker
Protective
Experiences all the “firsts” for parents (ie: driving, dating, college, etc)

Perceived Cons of Having Boy Before Girl
Less likely to play with little sister
Can be a bully
Tends to ignore his younger sister

Perceived Pros of Having Girl Before Boy
Can be Mommy’s little helper
Has more patience
Is more apt to play with little brother
Is more mature (girls mature faster)

Perceived Cons of Having Girl Before Boy
Experiences all the “firsts” for parents (ie: driving, dating, college, etc)
Can be a bossy to the younger brother
Matures too fast

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Photo Credit: Ashley Billings Photography

How to find a girl and meet her at a bar, at a party, at work

And although there are more women than men in Russia (according to official statistics, ten million), and Russian girls are among the most beautiful in the world, many guys are still having trouble getting their personal lives right. In almost every company there is a lonely sufferer who, in response to all the stories of friends about their girlfriends, will only sadly ask: where to find a girl and how to meet her?

First of all, let me ask you for what purpose you are looking for her. Disposable sex? Friendly trips to football? Five kids? Travel around the world? Ideal romantic relationship? Of course, it is likely that you are simply obsessed with the idea of ​​​​finding a girlfriend, and then come what may.

In fact, the question of purpose determines the place where you will look for a girl and what you will then do with a precious find. If you are interested in a girlfriend for one night, then we will not find a friend better than Tinder. Firstly, in the application you can directly and frankly express your intentions without embellishment and deceit. Secondly, you can discuss all your preferences and wishes, methods of contraception and health status (this is an important point in a conversation with a stranger). You can try to meet a girl in a bar or at a party for the same purpose, but the chances of getting a slap in the face or getting the contents of her glass in the face are much higher. And a gentleman should not lie to girls about his intentions.

If you are ripe for a more serious and long-term relationship, or at least not averse to trying, we tell you where to find a girl (and what to do next).

In a bar

We have described in detail how to meet a girl in a bar. To give just a few additional tips: if she is already flirting with the bartender, do not try to switch her attention to yourself; if she came with a friend, then both should be treated to a cocktail, and you should not interrupt their meeting, it’s better to just give a compliment and leave a phone number; avoid too assertive and impudent receptions – you should not even move to her table or move your chair before greeting her.

At a party with friends

In our opinion, this is the ideal place and atmosphere for meeting a girl. If you see a beautiful lady with whom you urgently want to chat, first find the organizer of the party or the person who invited you. He may be able to introduce you, and this is a much more effective and elegant way to get acquainted than to introduce yourself. Then everything is simple – start with how she met your mutual friends and ended up at this party, find out who the girl works and what she is interested in, and take care of her (however, her glass should not be full all the time, otherwise your betrothed will get drunk earlier before you get to shared hobbies).

At a party somewhere else

In general, meeting a girl at a party and making the right impression is extremely difficult. There are a lot of people around, very noisy, she probably came not alone, but with friends, and here you are trying to introduce yourself and start a conversation. We will give you three tips. First, try to understand if she smokes – if so, then this is your chance to get acquainted outside the dance floor. If not, then use the second option: when approaching her, prepare a smartphone to find her on Instagram. Girls rarely agree to give a phone number to the first person they meet, but they usually share an account on a social network (after all, their beautiful photos should not gather dust without fans). If you still can’t talk at the party, you can contact her the next day. And the third advice – in no case do not pester her on the dance floor. Attempts to dance to grab a lady by the ass or hug her are not only rather pathetic, but also risky – accuse you of harassment and destroy your reputation. This is where you met.

At work

Just a few caveats. If during a corporate party it seemed to you that you fell in love and this is your other half, most likely you are just very drunk. What to do in such a situation, they told here. And if it so happened that before you had time to figure out your feelings and start a full-fledged relationship, you slept with her, you need to act like this. In general, meeting a girl at work is not very difficult – you can find her name, mail and department on the company’s corporate website, set up a random meeting (be in the kitchen at the same time, catch in the corridor, meet in the elevator) and invite to dinner. Just be careful – if something goes wrong, perhaps all your colleagues will know about it.

At a wedding

The most traditional place to meet is someone else’s wedding. Like, the bride often calls unmarried friends, and the groom – unmarried friends. And that’s where you all can meet. To achieve success, the main thing is to meet three conditions: a suit or tuxedo fits perfectly on you, you have prepared the most touching or funny toast and are ready to dance so that every girl at this wedding wishes to become your partner. If there are difficulties with the last paragraph, urgently sign up for courses. Girls generally adore guys who move cool and are not shy about dancing. This will make it easier to get to know each other in a bar, in a club, and at a party – they will come to you themselves (a good dance partner usually does not fail in sex either).

You might also be interested in:

How to confess your love to a girl?

How can you have regular sex anyway?

How to forget your ex?

What to do if you fall in love at a corporate party?

Photo: Giphy

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How to meet a girl: 16 working tips

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Finding a mate in today’s world is not that difficult. You just need to use the right opportunities. These life hacks will help you get the attention of a girl you don’t know and will increase your chances of dating in real life and on the Internet.

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How to meet a girl in real life

Spontaneous acquaintance in everyday life is more and more like archaism. Nevertheless, this is one of the most romantic situations that you can later tell your grandchildren about.

It also has a number of other indisputable advantages. Firstly, you always see a real person, and not his processed photo of 10 years ago. Secondly, you can use the maximum of your charm: alas, virtual communication still does not convey all the nuances of the living.

Here are some tricks you can use to meet a girl offline.

1. Demonstrate confidence and openness

When meeting in real life, non-verbal cues can work to your advantage. Remember open postures, steady (but not excessive) eye contact, and a genuine smile. They will do half the battle: they will locate an unknown person to you.

2. Offer to help

A courteous stranger who offers to carry a huge suitcase or give directions to a girl usually wins her sympathy. Just do not confuse courtesy with obsession. Usually “no” still means “no”, and being too insistent will definitely not add points to you.

3. Use any available information about the stranger

Does she ride the subway and read Dostoyevsky? Or is she wearing a Darth Vader T-shirt? Here is the finished topic for the first conversation.

But tact must also be kept in mind here. It is clearly not worth commenting on what a girl does on her phone, even if she does not cover the screen with her hand. This borders on an invasion of privacy.

4. Use the environment

If you are at a concert or an exhibition, then your tastes most likely coincide with the tastes of a charming stranger and it will be easier to find a topic for conversation. But the most ordinary places can be of help: a shop, a cafe, a gym. Even ZhEK. Why not?

Use your surroundings as a conversation starter. Ask, for example, which product or dish is better to choose, noting that the girl looks like a person you could trust. Discuss the nuances of training or the life of the area. In general, use all the resources of everyday life to the maximum.

5. Give a compliment

A win-win option if the compliment is devoid of banality, but not sophistication. Forget clichés like oceans of eyes and waterfalls of hair. But do not overdo it with originality: the information that a girl has the best finger thickness in the world or the ideal curvature of her teeth is clearly redundant during an acquaintance.

It is also better to refuse chic blanks. After all, the second (third, fourth, and so on) phrase will have to match the virtuosity of the first. Otherwise, all efforts will go down the drain.

If you are not confident in your oratory skills, just come up and admit that you liked the girl, seemed interesting to you. Sincerity is better than any worked tackles.

6. Radiate safety

Acquaintance in real life is almost always a surprise. And everything sudden and unknown borders on danger. Therefore, be extremely tactful, polite and never invade the girl’s personal zone. Otherwise, your outburst of feelings will simply frighten her and make her run away quickly. Even if you do everything else right.

How to meet a girl on social networks

The advantage of social networks is obvious: they provide a lot of information and in a sense simplify the first step. But even here there are pitfalls. Try the following tips to get the attention of a beautiful stranger.

1. Look for a passion in thematic groups

The easiest way to make acquaintances and find a suitable party is to choose according to your interests. Groups, publics, events in social networks – you can get acquainted right there or contact the girl privately. An approximate list of topics for conversation will be easy to come up with.

2. Write messages or comments

If you want to get acquainted, it is better to demonstrate it verbally, and not silently bombard the girl with dozens of likes. In the latter case, you are likely to be mistaken for an inadequate or infantile person.

3. Monitor your online behavior

Posting about a recent breakup with an ex? Post pictures about how all women are bitches? Be rude in the comments? Then do not be surprised that your messages remain unanswered.

4. Honor literacy

If punctuality is the courtesy of kings, then literacy is the courtesy of Internet users. And it is also the first evidence that you have a developed intellect. Therefore, try not to make at least elementary mistakes. When in doubt, look for answers in dictionaries or on thematic resources.

If you are not sure about your knowledge of the Russian language, try this test first. A below-average result means it’s time to brush up on school rules.

5. Avoid extremes

An instant transition to “you” may seem hasty to some. But persistently writing “you”, and with a capital letter, and at the same time flirting with the style of the 19th century is not the best option. So you will be taken more for a naphthalene eccentric than for an interesting and modern man.

How to meet a girl on a dating site

It would seem that getting acquainted through specialized sites or services is as easy as shelling pears, because they are used by girls who are in search. But there are no less potential satellites. To increase your chances, follow these rules.

1. Approach your profile wisely

Do you want a serious relationship? Then don’t post (or at least don’t make it the main) photo of your torso and other bare body parts. Even if you have mind-blowing cubes. Even if it’s a sin to hide such beauty.

Better bet on pictures that reveal your personality and show your face.

Also, do not be too lazy to fill out the profile in detail and pay special attention to the section that indicates interests. Remember: the more specific the description, the more likely you are to meet the right person. So don’t limit yourself to generalities.

2. Avoid newbies

Most dating sites advertise new users by placing them on the front pages of searches or in special sections that everyone else sees. As a result, newbies (especially girls) get a lot of messages. So yours might just get lost.

3. Don’t be familiar

No matter how the girl in the photo reminds you of a wild cat or a princess, you shouldn’t inform her about it in the very first message. For dating – even on specialized sites – affectionate words and tenderness are inappropriate.

4. Say “no” to platitudes

Dating sites and services create a feeling of great choice. And given that girls there, in principle, receive more messages than men, the latter have to stand out.

The harsh truth: another “hello, how are you” does not make you want to answer, and the standard interrogation with predilection discourages all cravings to continue the conversation.

Be specific. To make an acquaintance, use the information that is indicated in the girl’s profile, or choose an extraordinary topic for conversation. For example, offer to share crazy stories from life or tell about the most unusual dream.