Things that moms say: Things Moms Say: 18 Things That Are Impossible NOT to Say to Kids

Things Moms Say: 18 Things That Are Impossible NOT to Say to Kids

If you’re like, well, everyone, you’ve had a moment (or 50) during your childhood when your mom spewed her usual response to something you did, and you thought, “I will never, ever say that to my kids.”

You were wrong.

These days, you find yourself saying those ridiculously dated things moms say. They make no sense, and you know it’s super annoying to be on the receiving end of them. But that doesn’t stop you. Nope. Everything you insisted you would never say comes flying out of your mouth, and once you say it, you have to stick to it. You have to pretend that’s something you wanted to say, and you know your kids are thinking, “I will never, ever say that to my kids.”

Here are some things moms say and why someone needs to replace them with something more effective — or at least with something that makes an iota of sense:

1.

“Hold your horses.”

All this does is invite them to remind you that you have no horse to hold.

2.

“You are such a pill.”

When did you turn into your Nana? And does anyone even call people “pills” anymore?

3.

“Don’t cry over spilled milk.”

This is seldom uttered in the presence of milk, which confuses the crying kid. Also, you’re the one who pays for milk, so shouldn’t you be the one crying?

4.

“Don’t make me turn this car around!”

Obviously, there’s no time to turn the car around — what with the forty-seventeen commitments you have today. Turning that car around would be more of a headache for you than them.

5.

“Skedaddle on out of here!”

Oh, OK Pop-Pop, they will, as soon as you give them a butterscotch candy from your dungarees pocket.

6.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Well, now that’s just going to land them in therapy, trying to imagine all the things you did and did not do when you were their age.

7.

“Shut the refrigerator door! Who do you think we are, the Rockefellers?”

Do kids these days even know who the Rockefellers are? And did you just say, “kids these days”?

8.

“Don’t make me come in there!”

This is a holdover from the Idle Threats 101 course they started giving new parents in 1990. LAME.

9.

“What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”

It was so much fun when your parents basically asked you if you were an idiot that you decided to pass on that fantastic feeling. Hooray?

10.

“Take it down a notch.”

This is often said to children too young to know what “notch” means, by parents trying not to yell things like “Ugh, just shut your word hole” or “Cripes on a cracker, who fed you Fun Dip for breakfast?”

11.

“When I was your age …”

Aaaaaaand … cue the dinosaur jokes.

12.

“How many times do I have to tell you/say …?”

When you were a kid, this was a rhetorical question, and you knew the jig was up. Now, kids think this is a literal question. They will answer thusly and make you want to throw things.

13.

“I’ve had it up to here!”

The shorter the parent, the shorter the fuse? And what is “it,” exactly?

14.

“Do you have ants in your pants or something?”

This will be immediately followed by a search on some medical website on their phone, during which they’ll learn about horribly true bugs-in-pants stories that will haunt their dreams and keep YOU awake at night. Good times.

15.

“If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it?”

Initiating eye roll in 3, 2, 1 …

16.

“Because I said so.”

Yes, you love their inquisitive minds as they learn about the world around them, JUST NOT WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE TIME OR PATIENCE FOR ANY MORE QUESTIONS.

17.

“Go to bed, I’m tired.”

Because that makes so much sense.

18.

“You don’t NEED it, you WANT it.”

Saying this earns you your Official Killjoy Club members-only jacket. Congratulations.

Funny Things Moms Say

Olu Famule via Unsplash

›Whether you’re threatening to turn the car around or telling the kids not to kick the ball in the house for the hundredth time, motherhood means saying things you never thought you would. When we’re not dreading sounding like our own moms, some of the things we end up saying on a daily basis are actually pretty funny. We asked our readers and editors to share their daily mantras, and here’s what they had to say.

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We Sound Like Our Moms

“Because I’m the mom, that’s why!” –Tami R. 

“Because I said so.” –Kari S. 

“I’ll give you something to cry about.” –Debbie H.

“Wait ’til your father gets home.” –Tracey L. 

“Watch your mouth young lady (man) or I’ll get the soap.” –Linda M.

“When you pay the bills then you can….(insert whatever they want)…” –Julie J.

Clothing Not Optional

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“You need to wear underwear when people come over to the house!” –Kristen H.

“What happened to your pants?” or “where did your pants go?” –Keiko Z.

“Please put some pants on!” –Sara S.

“Why are you always naked!?!” –Laura L.

Because Kids Are Gross

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“How do those boogers taste?” –Gabby C.

“Do not lick mommie!” –Teri P.

“Who peed on the seat?!” –Kristi F.

“No, I don’t want to wipe your butt for you.” –Amber G.

“Use toilet paper! It’s not optional!” –Bonnie C.

“Where are you planning to put that booger?” –Chinae G.

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It’s All About Self-Care

Bruno Cervera

“I need some me time please get out of my room.” –Sawyer F.

“Can I please 💩 alone?!?!?” –Amanda B.

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” –Jacqui B.

Our Fave Mommisms

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“Don’t kick the ball in the house.” –Erin C. 

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. ” –Laura G.

“Eat your food! There are starving people in other countries.” –Flordeliza D.

“Slam that door one more time and I’m taking it OFF!” –Stephanie M.

“I brought you into this world and I can take you out!🤣” – Lina G. 

I’m gonna count to three …. 1 … 2…” –GregKrichelle D. 

Just Darn Funny

Though Catalog via Unsplash

“I’m getting my chancla!” –Luz A. 

“You’re not the boss of me!” –Kristen L.

“I’m not your servant!” –Caroline F.

“Get your hands out of your pants.” –Dawn W.

“Is this poop or chocolate?” –Kelly B.

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10 things to be thankful for your mom

There are no perfect people, and neither are parents. But in one of these 10 points you will definitely recognize your mother: then just come and hug her. Well, or at least send an SMS with the text “thank you” and don’t forget the link to this article!

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Psychology

mothers

Relationship with parents

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Mom gave you life

No matter how grandiloquent this essentially banal phrase may sound now, the fact remains. Mom, it was mom and no one else who gave a control answer to the question: to be or not to be. Dad-grandmother-great-uncle and other host of relatives could participate or not in this matter, but the decision was still up to mom.

Just keep in mind that until a few decades ago, there was nothing wrong with abortion. Now they are thinking about how long the eye color is formed and the main character traits are laid, and then the gender of the child was recognized directly on the day of birth. Abortions did literally everything, because accidental pregnancy was a common thing due to the almost complete absence of reliable contraception, and then convincing arguments arose before the woman: “it’s not the time”, “you need to get on your feet” and, in general, the elder had just learned to dress himself without outside help.

Mom raised you

Another well-known statement. Those who have already had children look at the process of raising a child differently. Until you have offspring, sleepless nights, lack of time for yourself, a constant desire only to sleep and sleep again – all this is nothing more than metaphysics.

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Believe me, raising a child, educating him and letting him out into life is far from the idealistic picture that an invisible artist with a rich gift of imagination painted in your head. Sleepless nights are not at all like those that do not have a number during a serene party youth and work until the third sweat while trying to quickly climb to the very top of the career ladder.

Mom is always there

Believe me, an adult woman always and under any conditions will have more important things to do than clean up your room for the hundredth time in a day, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for you, wash and iron your huge number of things . Of course, they say that a mother is happy to take care of her child and devote 150% of her time to him. In fact, most of the time this is what men say.

Mom will always stand up for you

What? Do you still remember with pain in your heart how your mother praised the merits of others, point-blank not noticing your simple achievements? Zhenechka got an A in algebra, and you barely scraped together a B? Masha has been dancing cool since childhood, and now, she entered the choreographic school? And Olesya generally took it and successfully married, and even the first time! And now the house is a full bowl, and that same effervescent children’s laughter, and the husband, if not an oligarch, but also not Vaska the locksmith.

And just think, who explained to grandma-dad and other interested relatives that a B in algebra is a completely wow grade, especially with your genes, take the same mother! Who convinced dad that you weren’t fooling around at a friend’s house, but were rehearsing a dance number with her for the new year. And, most importantly, who did not hide their eyes when everyone around silently asked: “Well, what did she find in this shabby and not quite friendly guy who is twice her age!”. Mom, that very mother-echidna of yours, in which you have always been on the sidelines. From ideological, of course, convictions. But nature cannot be persuaded by any of the best impulses, and somewhere in the depths of your soul you have always been the best and most successful with your mother.

Mom gave you the right to choose

Should you choose a pink or soft pink dress for a morning party in kindergarten? Study for the top five or just try to stay afloat? Go to study as an actress or do a “serious” economic business? Finally, get married or prefer a civil marriage?

Mom left you room for choice. Perhaps, sometimes it’s just out of impotence to convince a daughter who stands firm on her, sometimes in order not to be late for work in the throes of choosing an outfit, and sometimes out of fear of forever losing your trust. When a person has a choice, it is always twice as exciting as a one-way road.

Mom let you make mistakes

It seems that this point follows smoothly from the previous one, but no. Everything is much more serious here. The woman who gave birth to you clearly saw, felt, was one hundred percent sure that you were wrong. Your young man does not have modern views, he needs marriage and children, it’s just that you are not the right candidate. Mom could feel this with a maternal instinct beyond any logic, or she could also be an unwitting witness to his frank conversation with her own mother.

But after expressing her position, she fell silent and stepped aside. She did not insist, did not break into a scream and did not try to get through to you. She allowed you to personally fill all the bumps, while she herself was waiting for you on the side to hug and forgive. Secretly sincerely hoping that she was a thousand times wrong in her beliefs.

Mom told you about the pleasure

Mom did not raise you as a walking altruist and infallible Mother Teresa. She recognized the existence of pleasures in the world and taught you to strive for them. Not to the detriment of others, of course. Now you know for sure that if you are uncomfortable with a person and those same butterflies no longer flutter in your stomach, then this person is not about you. You will not think that everything is from the evil one, that all this whim should dissipate like smoke in the morning, because you have a family, because you are a mother.

Who said that work should bring joy? Well, or at least moral or material satisfaction? That’s right, mom. You should not hold on to a place where you are not appreciated, and they forget to give out a salary just because this place is a state one and all calculations from your almost mythical salary go in favor of a future pension.

Mom taught me to live in the present

Living in the present is a whole art. And your mother taught you the basics. When some part of the body of the doll “torn off” by itself, completely and irrevocably, mother, together with you, sincerely grieved over this unfortunate circumstance. And then you went together to make a doll from improvised threads for lack of financial ability to buy a new one in the store.

When you really wanted ice cream, right here and right now, in October slush and bad weather, your mother did not scare you with stories about a terrible sore throat that would definitely happen to you. And you happily licked the treasured horn, still trying to do it more slowly. Even if the cold did not spare you later, your present remained bright and not overshadowed by reflections from the “if only, if only” series.

Mom taught you to accept yourself for who you are

Your pragmatic mom didn’t hang rose-colored glasses all over the house and say non-stop that you are a real princess and the most beautiful girl in the world. She approached this issue from a practical point of view. Mom did not emphasize your shortcomings and did not give rise to complexes in you, she was just looking for a way out of the situation. You weren’t born a blonde with huge half-faced blue eyes, but brown-eyed brown-haired women also have nothing to live in this life. And at worst, with intelligence and charm, you can always earn a couple of thousand points in advance.

Mom gave me confidence in the inviolability of the eternal

In our crazy world, everything seems to have turned upside down a long time ago and turned the same somersault a few more times. Gender signs, social roles, desires and opportunities – everything is mixed up in our common home. And only the word “mother” still evokes the same set of associations among all representatives of the human race dispersed across our planet.

Mom is where home is and there is no war. Mom is where they hug, caress, feed deliciously and put to sleep on a soft pillow. At least, even those who grew up without a mother believe in this.

Never Say That: 9 Popular Parenting Phrases That Your Child Will Quietly Hate You For – 4 December 2022

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Have you ever caught yourself doing something like this?

org/Person”> Photo: Timofei Kalmakov / 59.RU

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Any parent knows, no matter how much you teach your child, he will still take the main example from you. But the beliefs that you often turn to the baby can also play a role in the formation of negative qualities – your little person will have to deal with them already in adulthood. Our colleagues from Wday.ru have collected phrases that you should stop saying to children.

Sometimes it’s hard to resist and the words fly out like a bullet. But over time, they lead to a very disappointing effect.

“Words can have a powerful effect and cause anxiety in children, shaping their behavior for years to come,” says psychotherapist Dana Dorfman .

“Here Masha knows biology at five, but you can barely pull your top three” or “All the kids will be big, but you will stay like that – two inches from the pot if you eat badly” , – many of us are parents said so; you say – and nothing, they grew up as normal people. Now think to yourself – are you normal? Do you really think that your child is the worst of all, that he really can’t do anything, doesn’t know and doesn’t want to? Or do you just use these phrases as a stimulus? If the answer to the last question is “yes”, then you are making a big mistake. The child may stop even trying to do something, as he knows for sure that he will not succeed as well as others, because there is a “son of a mother’s friend.”

“I’ll do it for you” – Watching your child struggle to tie his shoelaces or pour a glass of milk often makes you want to get it over with. Not worth it.

“One way that anxious mothers can communicate their anxiety to their child is by being overly involved in what their child is doing,” says Dana Dorfman.

“It will be as I said, no one asks your opinion” — if even your own parents are not interested in the opinion of the child, then who will be interested in it? If you often remind the baby that it is better for him to keep quiet, then he will never learn to express and defend his opinion. “Comfortable” people grow up from such children, who are easily commanded by friends, wives or husbands, and even subordinates at work.

“Stop crying”, “calm down already” : you may have no other words left when your child has a tantrum for half an hour. But these phrases show the child that his feelings (sadness or resentment) are not accepted. It is possible that, having become older, a person will suppress emotions in himself. Almost any psychologist will confirm this: people do not always know how to recognize their own feelings, to express emotions in an environmentally friendly way. Because of this, a lot of problems.

“So many of our phrases end up adding to the anxiety,” says Dorfman. “It’s like quicksand: the more you try to defuse the situation, the deeper you sink into it. Telling people (including children) phrases such as “keep calm” or “calm down” only increases the feeling of panic.

“Why are you crying like a girl” , is a favorite phrase of all the harsh mothers and fathers of boys at the playgrounds of our country. Boys are children first and foremost and have rights to their feelings. Yes – different feelings, including tears. So the child gets rid of his grief. By forbidding crying, you make him accumulate pain in himself. Any emotions and feelings are normal.

“Don’t touch the dog, it will bite. Put on a hat, you’ll be sick. Don’t get in there – you’ll fall” , – you will say anything to make your child stop doing something dangerous. But if you overdo it, this is also bad and can lead to fears. It is better to use realistic terms to warn your children.

There is another point here: such a child may simply lose interest in life. Usually, after 10 years, they tell him: “Go out at least to the street, you sit at the computer all day,” not suspecting that it was you who put him at the computer.

“It’s too early for you to think about money”, “There’s nothing of yours here, if you earn money, it will be” – such phrases can often be heard in relations between parents and children. The kids “who have nothing” try to earn money as early as possible and do not always choose worthy ways.

According to psychologist Inna Tliashinova , a child’s future financial success will also depend, among other things, on his relationship with his father.

— All the negative feelings associated with it are equal to the feeling we have for money. If a child is afraid of his father, he is afraid of money. Relationships with the father project external realization, which is why the relationship between dad and child is so important, says Inna Tliashinova.

“You are all like your dad”, “You are all like your mother” , — according to the experience of psychologist Inna Tliashinova, it is painful for a child when his mother belittles his father in front of him, or vice versa. It may happen that your son or daughter, in order not to lose your love and affection, will also begin to refuse belonging, community with the second parent.

– When you don’t accept the fact that a child is both mom and dad, you don’t accept part of the child. The child identifies with his parents: he is half mom and half dad. If one of them is “bad”, then he as a whole is “bad”. This is how the child perceives it, the psychologist concludes.

Even if you don’t use Montessori parenting, try saying these phrases to your son or daughter more often. The editors have collected 7 turns that Montessori teachers use when working with children.

“You seem upset. Tell me about it.”

While we certainly want any negative feelings our children experience to disappear as soon as possible, we must teach them to reflect on events. If you rush to quickly translate the topic, you will not allow the child to learn a useful lesson from this or that situation.

“I need your help”

Ask for help to increase your child’s self-confidence and worth. Find something your child is good at and let him know that you appreciate his special talent for cat feeding or zippering. Let your child feel like an expert.

“I remember how you learned (to do so-and-so). ”

Children may feel insecure when they are working hard on a new skill, but they are not doing well. Help them remember experiences they’ve already had: how they mastered difficult things like brushing their teeth or tying their shoelaces. Remind your child how difficult it seemed before and how easy it is for them now.

“Sometimes I feel that way too.”

Don’t be shy about showing your children that you aren’t always happy with yourself and sometimes have difficult emotions. Talk about how stupid you felt when you realized you were wearing your shirt backwards, or when you got lost and were late for a meeting with friends. Our kids see us as superheroes, but knowing that we, too, struggle with insecurities can help them deal with their fears.

“Some things take a lot of practice”

Let your child know that some of the most interesting and rewarding things in life require a lot, a lot of effort. Learning a new language, riding a bike, building robots – learning new things takes time, and that’s okay. Emphasize hard work and repetition rather than talent and natural ability to encourage your child to persevere and learn to overcome adversity.

“I love you just the way you are”

Whatever the reason your child is not feeling well, he needs to hear that you love him for who he is, without any expectations or reservations. Try to find time to hug him and say “I love you”.

Good job! You tried, and you succeeded”

If you simply tell a child that he is smart, too much attention to his intellect can go sideways – the baby will be afraid to fail. Better let him know that you see his perseverance, focus and perseverance. Let the children know that this is important in life.

For example, try not to deceive the baby even in small things. How many times have you told your child that you will return to this cafe today, that dad will come soon (although not at all soon), and the fox took the nipple and took it to the mink, so you don’t know where it is. Of course, you can’t explain some things to a small person, but you must not stop trying and not get carried away with writing.

Just remember that if you are on your phone all the time, your child’s best friend will be a tablet. Children of parents who are addicted to gadgets understand from childhood that there is something more interesting there than in real life. Spend your evenings actively, play Monopoly, take a walk, share your impressions, then your child will not have any dependence on gadgets.

The concept of education, where one parent is gentle and all-permissive, and the other is strict for two, is wrong from all sides. A child needs an example of a couple where there is agreement with each other. If dad does not allow something, mom should not cancel it, and vice versa .

There will be fewer conflicts if we immediately establish general rules: for example, we eat cookies once a day for an afternoon snack. At other times, it is not available to the child. The inconsistency of actions does not give the baby a clear understanding of what is good and bad.

— What about grandparents? Your parents’ house has different rules and regulations. When the child is on vacation, he can be given the opportunity to relax a little. You should not control grandparents, and even more so make comments to them in the presence of children, Sednev explains.

6 more situations that are best avoided by all means in raising children, in our material.

Children from a jar: the revelations of our reader — she gave birth at the age of 40 from a donor, but she could not love her son.

Personal experience: how my boyfriend became a second dad for my children – 5 life hacks for moms who fell in love.