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12 signs of a spoiled child – Of.

website of Kindergarten No. 50, Tomsk

Teacher – psychologist: Vikhrova T.V.

A spoiled baby is a real headache for parents. Constantly achieving his goal, he begins to consider himself the main person in the world. If the minion is faced with legal requirements and prohibitions, then a loud hysteria awaits the mother. How to re-educate a little egoist? How to understand that it is your child who is too spoiled? In our material, advice from psychologists for those parents who allow their children too much.

Spoiledness can add a lot of unpleasant moments to an already grown child. In adulthood, no one will constantly admire him, solve all his requests by magic. Hence the collapse of hopes and deep disappointment in the people around him. Let’s look at the brightest and most distinctive features of childish spoilage.

Signs of a spoiled child

1. The child categorically refuses to share.

Spoiled children are self-centered, because they are given everything they want, on demand. Toys, sweets, your attention – no wonder they refuse to share with peers and adults.

2. He often throws tantrums.

Spontaneous tantrums are relatively normal in children under the age of three or four. Sometimes this is the only way to express their feelings, but for preschoolers, tantrums are already a tool for manipulation.

3. He is extremely dependent on his parents.

If your child cannot sleep when you are not in the room, does not want to stay with his grandmother or in kindergarten, then this is already a sign of spoilage. As children grow up, they need to learn to feel comfortable with other people.

4. Selective in food.

It’s okay to prepare special meals for a child with special dietary needs. But if a healthy toddler insists on a personalized menu every night, it could be a sign of being spoiled.

5. He is always dissatisfied with everything.

The baby grumbles for any reason: he does not like toys, clothes, cooked soup. He quickly gets bored with new cars and going to the park. He immediately demands to buy a thing that he saw from another child: “I want the same scooter!”

6. He doesn’t help his parents.

It is perfectly normal to help your child put away toys if they are under three years of age. But when you continue to clean up after him and further, he has a conviction that this will continue forever.

7. He is rude to adults.

The habit of getting what you want leads to the fact that the child begins to treat his parents too consumeristically. Why be polite to those who fulfill all his requirements? Disrespect for mother often turns into general rudeness.

8. The child has to be persuaded. A spoiled kid does not recognize authorities – parents, grandmothers and educators. Therefore, their demands mean absolutely nothing to him. If you ask a child for something, he starts to be mischievous. And the mother can get what she wants only after much persuasion.

9. He manipulates adults.

Rude, obsessive, manipulative behavior is typical for capricious children. To achieve his own goal, the child uses all available means: tantrums, tears, a different approach to parents. If mom doesn’t buy ice cream, he will go to grandma’s. “Grandma, I love you more than anyone in the world,” he will say until she forbids him something.

10. He makes his parents blush.

A spoiled kid thinks he’s the center of the galaxy. To attract attention, he can interrupt adults, shout loudly, throw tantrums in a large crowd of people. The inability to behave in public places sometimes becomes a real problem, which, due to permissiveness, is difficult to fix.

11. Not responsible for his actions.

No matter what the baby does, his beloved mother, kind father and grandparents who adore him immediately “eliminate” any consequences. Hit the girl next door? So it’s her own fault. In such greenhouse conditions, children grow, but do not mature.

12. Does not perceive the words “no” and “no”.

It is difficult for spoiled children to understand that they can not get something. Involuntariness of desires is forgivable for very young children, but it is not characteristic of 4-6-year-old babies. A capricious child accompanies any refusal with loud sobs, perceiving it as the end of the world.

Causes of child spoilage

Babies are not born spoiled, with loud crying they signal their mother about the main needs – mother’s attention, food, food, diaper change. But if you overprotect the child, constantly entertain him, so that he does not roar, then he soon becomes the center of the whole family.

Very often a capricious child grows up with parents who cannot agree on the basic methods of education. The kid begins to manipulate, command and control adults, seeing such disagreements. When dad forbids, he goes to his beloved and kind mother. And if she does not allow, then you can always turn to your grandmother.

Inconsistency in prohibitions is also unacceptable. For example, yesterday children were allowed to walk in puddles. However, today, in response, he hears a loud “No!” and then he starts to get angry.

Many busy moms and dads try to make up for the lack of time with their baby with the help of gifts and various trinkets. But as the child grows, so do their demands. And then the parents understand – spoiled!

Psychologist’s advice to parents of spoiled children

Stay calm

Remember that the only way to control the situation is to remain calm. Loud screams will not make the child obey you. Do not raise your voice, even if the baby throws a tantrum or starts to be rude. Ignore his behavior: “I’ll talk to you later when you’ve calmed down a bit.”

Start re-educating early

As soon as you begin to understand that the baby is crying and screaming to get the right thing, immediately stop the little manipulator. Do not indulge him by fulfilling any desire in the hope of stopping tantrums and whining. The golden rule says: “It is easier to prevent a disease than to treat it long and painfully.”

Be consistent

If today you allow your child to jump on the sofa, and tomorrow you strictly forbid it, your rules have no effect. Permissions and prohibitions must be agreed with all household members. The reaction of grandparents and parents should be reasonable and unanimous. Stay true to your word: don’t repeat the threat to take the toy away for misbehavior multiple times. Follow your warning right away.

Learn to say “No”

For many adults, refusing a loved one is often a very difficult decision. Therefore, a spoiled child perceives parents as walking wallets, receiving different gifts every day. Instead of the next (hundredth) car, devote more time to it: read, walk, play together.

Enter the concept of “duty” into the child’s dictionary

Explain how much and hard mom and dad work: earn money for food, clothes for the baby, prepare food for him, clean up after him and wash. Ask him to help around the house, although at first you will have to redo everything for him. The first duty of the little darling will be to return the toys scattered by his hands to their place.

Don’t go too far by re-educating your spoiled child. He may decide that you have stopped loving him, if before everything was allowed, but now you are prohibiting the same. Be sure to explain that you love the baby as before, but you don’t always like his actions. And, of course, take grandparents as allies.

9 signs of a spoiled child

Spoiled = bad manners?

If we take a broader look at this phenomenon, we can say that spoiled children are children who have not been given the boundaries of what is permitted. It is difficult for such a child to organically fit into the game of peers, calmly walk past a display case with toys or hear the words of parents – for this the child does not have the appropriate skills. Often, parents do not even notice that they have raised a little whim, and spoiledness is an alarming symptom that will interfere with the child in adulthood.

9 signs that you have already spoiled your child:

1. Psychological dependence on parents
If your child cannot fall asleep when you are not in the room, does not want to stay with his grandmother or in kindergarten, does not want to play on his own, then this is already a sign of spoilage. As children grow up, they need to learn to be comfortable with other people and with themselves.

2. Adult manipulation
To achieve his own goal, the child uses all available means: tantrums, tears, “bribes” (a spoiled child will not do anything without stimulation with a toy, candy, and even money), a different approach to parents (behaves differently with mom and dad).

3. Constant dissatisfaction, complaints of boredom, selectivity in food
The child is always annoyed by everything that surrounds him, he quickly gets bored with any toy, any treat. He immediately demands what he saw in another child, demands to be entertained, insists on an individual menu. (We are not talking about a child who is on a diet for health reasons.)

4. Egocentrism, manifested in the unwillingness to share
Spoiled children are given everything they want: toys, sweets, your attention. No wonder they refuse to share with peers and adults. If parents do not pay attention to this in time, then in the future it can develop into greed.

5. Violation of the rules of behavior in public places
A spoiled kid considers himself the center of the galaxy and requires momentary submission. He does not want to listen to either adults or children, he demands that they listen only to him and fulfill whims. To attract attention, he can interrupt adults, shout loudly, throw tantrums in a large crowd of people. The inability to behave in public places sometimes becomes a real problem.

6. Immunity to failure, prohibition
A spoiled child does not perceive the words “no” and “no”, it is difficult for him to understand that he might not get something. If he is told that something is impossible, he becomes capricious or becomes aggressive, perceiving the refusal as the end of the world.

7. Unwillingness to help parents, including cleaning up scattered toys
It is perfectly normal to help a child clean up toys if he is not yet three years old. But when you continue to clean up after him and further, he has a conviction that this will continue forever. The older he is, the more stubborn he becomes. It will be difficult for you in the future to force the child to clean up after themselves things and help around the house.

8. Consumer attitude towards parents
It develops through the habit of getting what you want on demand. Why be polite to someone who fulfills all his desires? Disrespect for loved ones often turns into rudeness towards everyone around.

9. Irresponsibility, he is not responsible for his actions
Whatever the baby does, a loving mother, a kind father and adoring grandparents immediately “eliminate” any consequences.