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crazy love and its symptoms

What can make a girl read other people’s correspondence, spy on social networks, watch for hours at a man’s door? Psychologist Katya Khlomova analyzes the medical history.

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High illness

A great feeling, which is sung in a huge number of poems and songs, is, in fact, a typical addiction or, as doctors say, an addiction. Only the object of desire is not alcohol or drugs, but a person. However, anthropologist Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading experts in this exciting field, says: “If you are not obsessed at the very beginning of falling in love, then you are not in love!” Say thanks to evolution: as soon as we meet someone about whom we are ready to say “This is it!”, The instinct is triggered – to achieve and keep him at any cost.

“I created a fake Facebook account (the social network is recognized as extremist and banned in the Russian Federation) and added my ex’s new girlfriend as a friend. So I could follow what was going on in their relationship. I checked her “wall” every day for another 8 months until they broke up.”

Temporary Eclipse

“In the early stages of love, we are literally drunk on dopamine, the hormone responsible for pleasure and addiction,” says Helen Fisher. Together with colleagues from Rutgers University in New Jersey, she scanned the brains of lovers. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) showed that when victims of passion look at photographs of their chosen ones, activity in a part of the brain, which is intricately called the “ventral tegmental region”, increases dramatically. This is where dopamine is produced. The same scheme is included in cocaine addicts. “Once this system is activated, there is a strong motivation to achieve what you want at any cost – whether it be a drug, food or person,” continues Helen. Meanwhile, the insular area of ​​the brain responsible for anxiety lights up like a Christmas tree. Hence the constant insecurity of lovers, the fear of losing a loved one, jealousy for no reason. It is hard to believe, but nature needs all this madness so that we meet someone good, fall in love and try to connect our lives with him. “Normal obsession lasts about a year,” Fisher says, “during this time, the relationship becomes calmer, the fMRI no longer shows frantic activity in the“ drug addicted ”areas of the brain. If this did not happen, all love affairs would end the way Romeo and Juliet did, and the human race would not survive.”

“I was ‘from afar’ in love with a high school student. He joined the army, and I found out where he served and went to visit. Winter, I’m waiting for three hours in the cold … And then he sees me and doesn’t understand anything – we don’t know each other!

Final diagnosis

Sometimes the program goes astray: the object can be completely inaccessible and not provide any recharge. Those who grew up in problem families and did not receive enough parental love as children tend to get into one-sided relationships more than others. Gestalt therapist Anna Lavrovskaya explains that the craving of such a person for rejecting partners is not love, but attempts to play out the usual children’s scenario: if the parent was unavailable, now you are unconsciously looking for the same unavailable man and are trying with all your might to win his love. In addition, almost every disease has a “secondary benefit”. “Addiction helps to avoid more difficult experiences,” Anna adds, “for example, an all-consuming love for a not very real object helps to forget your fears and loneliness at least for a while.”

Quit the club

The first step in healing any addiction is admitting the problem. “Come down from heaven to earth and honestly admit: “I have lost control of the situation. I need to do something about it,” recommends family psychologist Petr Dmitrievsky. “The second step is to realize that holding on to this relationship or letting it go is your choice.” Take a pencil in your hand. What does it take to let him go? Just stop holding. So it is with love.

The next step is to fill the void. When you give up a drug, it’s easiest to slip back if there is nothing brighter and more interesting in life. Experienced “disabled people” advise you to fill at first all your time with something as bright as possible: trips, new acquaintances, extreme sports – everything that will help you get (already from new sources) the very dopamine and adrenaline that your brain. If you sit at home, rereading sad poems and picking at your love wounds, this can go on for years. Next, the ex-addict needs to reconsider his picture of the world. You can walk this path yourself, or you can work with a psychologist. If you have been choosing unrealizable love for so long, then it is important to explore why, what it gave you, from what in your life you fled into this fantasy. Why are you afraid of mutual feelings? And a new question: what do you want now? The easiest way is to say: “I want him to…” But answer only about what you can do on your own. You have to seriously consider where you want to go, what new relationships you want to build and how they will differ from the previous ones.

“I was obsessed with a married colleague who flirted with me. For a year I dug up the pages of his friends and relatives in social networks. Just some kind of mania! Eventually I changed jobs.”

Stages of obsessive love

A “love addict” falls in love at first sight. You just had time to think: “He suits me!” (he is sexy, writes poetry…) – and you immediately begin to conquer him.

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You met a couple of days ago, but you are already ready to eat your (and his) brain if he suddenly does not respond to the message: “What did I do wrong?” You think he must have met someone else.

You will do anything to find out where he is and what he is doing. You are ready, as if by chance, to walk past his house, get into his mail, “graze” for hours on his Twitter or Facebook (The social network is recognized as extremist and banned on the territory of the Russian Federation).

Relationships (if they existed at all) end – often because the “hero” could not stand your pressure. The result is emptiness, self-blame, anger, and then deep depression.

Love or madness?

If you ever fell in love without a memory, then you probably did one of the following. And that’s okay. But if you confidently mark “yes” in all points and even a new love does not change anything in your relationship with a man, you are prone to love addiction. It’s not a diagnosis, but you have work to do.

• You are not one of those who fall in love gradually. Everything happens to you at once and very brightly.
• You don’t know how to be yourself with him – you adjust with all your might, trying to guess what you need to be in order to make the right impression on him.
• You can’t calm down if you don’t know what he does every minute. You torment him with endless interrogations, constantly visit his pages on social networks, get into his correspondence.
• You can’t focus on work and other things because you are constantly thinking about when you will see him again, what he is doing and why he is not texting you right now.
• You ignore the warning signs that tell you unequivocally that he is not for you, because you are sure that your heart cannot be wrong.

Crazy feeling of love, 7 (seven) letters

Crossword question

Answer for the clue “Crazy feeling of love”, 7 (seven) letters:
passion

Alternative crossword questions for the word passion

Because of what desire do they lose their mind?

Collection of poems by Jorge Luis Borges “. .. to Buenos Aires”

Feeling out of proportion

f. passions pl. (suffer) suffering, torment, pain, torment, bodily pain, mental sorrow, longing; esp. in meaning feat, consciously assumed hardships, martyrdom

Strongly expressed feeling, inspiration

Film by Tinto Brass “Love and …”

Definition of the word passion in dictionaries

Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language. D.N. Ushakov

The meaning of the word in the dictionary Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language. D.N. Ushakov

adv. (colloquial). Very, very, very. He passionately wants to run up to the hanging gallery that goes around the whole house. Goncharov.

Wikipedia

The meaning of the word in the Wikipedia dictionary

Passion is a film by Jean-Luc Godard.

Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova.

The meaning of the word in the dictionary Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova.

-i, pl. -and, -her, well, (simple). Fear, horror. Talk about all sorts of passions. Suffered passions. passion, in knowledge. skaz. and paren. Same as fear (in 3 values). S. is tired. In love – with.! The people on the streets – with. * To passion – very strong or very much. To passion…

Examples of the use of the word passion in literature.

Godwin and his sons waged an incessant war with the Normans, who came to England with the new king, and soon the old eldorman even had to leave his homeland, when he was disgraced by his son Sven, who in sinful passion encroached on the beautiful abbess of a monastery, and then left, barefoot, in the clothes of a penitent, to atone for his sin in Palestine and died somewhere there, in the East.

Two passions dominated Channing all his life: the affirmation of Unitarianism, according to which the Almighty exists in the human soul, and abolitionism, as a conviction in the equality and brotherhood of people of different races.

Sexual decisions are transferred to the family, either to paid kineds or to abortive lesbian passion.

The parliamentary regime seemed to me a disgrace to the human race, a symbol of the withering of mankind, bled, renounced passions and convictions, having lost the absolute, devoid of a future, limited in all respects, incapable of rising to that higher wisdom that taught me that the goal of the discussion could only be complete annihilation of the opponent.

The receptionist exchanged glances with the maid in a special way, and Samuil immediately felt how, before that, an outsider, a stranger, unwanted by anyone, got involved in a tense life full of passions, became involved in a conspiracy in which he and his sister and the receptionist and the maid were different.