Emotional development for preschoolers: Preschoolers & emotions: play ideas

From Age 3 to 5

Written by Florence Byrd

Reviewed by Renee A. Alli, MD on December 19, 2020

In this Article

• Preschoolers: Ruled by Emotions
• Preschoolers and Fantasy Play
• Your Independent Preschooler

Even at age 3 or 4, your child is very much their own person. They have distinct likes and dislikes, and their personality is developing more every day. They are getting better at using words to express how they are feeling, which means fewer tantrums. Their mood may still change drastically from one moment to the next, but they are more likely to talk about being angry or sad rather than having a meltdown.

Preschoolers: Ruled by Emotions

Though your 3-year-old is beginning to understand the emotions they are feeling, they still have very little control over them. If they find something funny, they’ll laugh hysterically. If something makes them feel sad or angry, they’ll burst into tears.

At this age, your preschooler still hasn’t developed much impulse control. If they feel something, they are likely to act on it. This may mean snatching a toy away from another child if they want to play with it, or getting upset when they want a snack after being told they have to wait until dinnertime. Delayed gratification means nothing to them — they want it, and want it now.

Three- and 4-year-old children may use hitting, biting, or pushing as a way to solve conflicts. They simply don’t understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate interactions yet. It’s your job to teach your child that there are right and wrong ways to express emotions and resolve problems with others.

As your child gets older, they’ll begin to see a connection between emotional outbursts and negative consequences. Throwing a tantrum may result in a “time out” or a favorite toy being taken away. These consequences are helping your 4-year-old understand a tantrum isn’t an acceptable way to show emotion.

Your 4-year-old is also a budding comedian. They are starting to develop a sense of humor, and love being silly and making people laugh. Don’t be surprised if you hear them calling their friend a “poo-poo head” and then laughing hysterically; 4-year-olds find potty talk highly entertaining.

Empathy also begins to emerge around age 4. Four-year-olds are starting to understand that others have feelings, too, and they can relate when a friend is feeling sad or hurt. They may want to give a crying friend a hug or kiss their boo boo.

By age 5, your child has made leaps and bounds in their emotional development. They’ve gotten much better at regulating their emotions, and they talk about their feelings easily. They have also gotten better at controlling their impulses. They patiently wait their turn, and often ask first before taking something that isn’t theirs.

When something makes your 5-year-old mad, they are much more likely to express their anger using words instead of getting physical or throwing a tantrum. The downside to this is that they may begin to use mean words and name-calling when they are angry or upset.

Around this age, your preschooler may start to get interested in sexuality. They may ask questions about where babies come from. They are fascinated by their own body, and may start to touch or play with their genitals. They may also be interested in exploring the genitals of others. All of this is totally normal, but it’s important to let your 5-year-old know what is and isn’t appropriate.

Make sure they understand that it’s OK to be curious about “private parts,” but it’s not OK to play with or show them in public. Also make sure they understand that it’s never OK for other people to touch their genitals, except mom or dad during bath time, if something hurts down there, or during a doctor’s appointment as long as mom or dad is in the room.

Preschoolers and Fantasy Play

Around age 3, children begin to develop a vivid imagination. At this age, your preschooler will begin to spend a great deal of time in a fantasy world of their own creation. Their dolls and stuffed animals all have names and personalities. They may chat with imaginary friends. Parents sometimes worry that imaginary friends are a sign of loneliness or isolation, but in fact they’re just the opposite. Children use this type of fantasy play to learn how to interact with real people. It’s practice for the “real world.” At an age when your child has very little control over their own life, their fantasy world is their own creation. They’re in charge.

Around the same time your preschooler begins to talk to an imaginary friend, they may also develop a fear of the monster living under their bed. These types of fears are common. They are also quite serious to them, so don’t make a joke out of it. The best thing you can do is reassure your child that they are safe and nothing is going to hurt them.

As your child gets older, fantasy play will continue to be an important part of their life, but they’ll get better at understanding the difference between fantasy and reality. their fantasies will get more elaborate and sophisticated, and don’t be surprised if they sometimes involve violence. Don’t let games of shoot-’em-up bother you; it’s totally normal for children to be fascinated with weapons and violence at this age, and it’s not a sign that they’ll be violent when they’re older.

Your Independent Preschooler

The older your preschooler gets, the more they’ll crave independence. It may sound like a contradiction, but the best way to nurture your preschooler’s independence and self-confidence is to keep their life fairly structured. Give them choices, but don’t give them endless choices. Let them choose between two outfits to wear, or ask them if they want a turkey sandwich or macaroni and cheese for lunch. When they ask to do something you know isn’t a good idea, hold firm. Being allowed choices within a structured framework will help to boost their self-confidence while at the same time letting them know they are safe and secure.

The Stages of Emotional Development in Early Childhood

• Share

• Email

Here is an overview of emotional development in the early years and the phases that children progress through during the first five years.

What is Emotional Development in Early Childhood?

Kids experience many of the same emotions as their parents. These can be confusing, and they often do not know how to talk about their feelings.

Children sometimes act in inappropriate ways because they have not developed an understanding of those emotions or how to express them in the correct ways.

Because of the close connection with social growth, you often see ‘emotional development’ referred to as ‘social-emotional.’

This area of human development includes how children feel about and act towards the people and situations in their lives.

The ‘development’ aspect entails children gradually learning to deal with, discuss, and control emotions, such as fear, jealousy, anger, and sadness.

They also learn to experience and react to feelings of love, happiness, and excitement in a controlled manner.

Although you can find commonalities among children at certain stages and ages, they develop at different rates and are certainly not all alike.

Emotional Development Stages By Age

What are the stages of emotional development and how can we recognize them?

Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson (1902-1994) believed that the human development socialization process occurred in eight stages.

Three of those proposed stages, in which children gain trust, autonomy, and initiative take place during early childhood.

You can find various arrangements suggested by professionals regarding how to separate the early childhood stages of development.

They often boil down to the following three stages of emotional development in childhood, with these typical skills or milestones to achieve:

1.

Infancy to Age 1

During stage 1, facial expressions of infants show happiness, fear, and anger. Babies learn to react with smiles to positive input, such as voices, touch, and even smells.

Adults can usually soothe infants with touch, voices and smells. Many babies discover self-soothing techniques like sucking their thumbs.

At least by the half-year mark, children typically know appropriate ways to express happiness, fear, or anger. They learn these skills through responses and feedback modelled by their parents or other caregivers.

Erik Erikson maintained that children whose parents nurture them correctly during this stage develop trust, security and hope.

How Can Parents Support Growth?

• Offer physical comfort and affection
• Hold while feeding babies
• Talk, read, and sing to children from infancy
• Respond positively in words and tone
• Exhibit consistency and predictability in responses
• Acknowledge emotions
• Offer names for child’s feelings
• Set fair limits firmly and calmly
• Establish daily routines

2.

Toddlerhood (Ages 1 and 2)

In stage 2, toddlers often point to things as a way of interacting with others and use interactive gestures like waving goodbye.

They commonly take part in interactive play, such as peek-a-boo.

During this stage, toddlers typically begin to learn empathy, such as feeling upset if another child cries.

They also take part in pretend play, like stirring “food” in a play cooking pot, and they engage in parallel play next to other children.

Many call this stage the ‘terrible twos.’ Most toddlers have strong emotions but have not yet learned how to fully express those in acceptable ways. They rely on caring adults to help them with the words they need.

Toddlers also look to adults to serve as models of how to stay calm.

In Erikson’s Stages of Development, this phase could last until around age 3. He wrote that children with supportive parents usually have confidence, will, self-control, and pride.

How Can Parents Support Growth?

• Encourage curiosity and independence
• Stay calm and offer comfort after outbursts
• Address anger as a valid emotion
• Maintain consistency in allowed activities
• Talk to your children and use names for their feelings
• Offer praise and encouragement
• Model empathy for others
• Encourage social games and taking turns
• Model effective communication with others

3.

Preschooler (Ages 3 to 5)

During stage 3, emotional development in preschool kids includes learning to control emotions and impulses to fitting with socially acceptable reactions.

They often attempt to test limits and rely on their parents and caregivers for guidance.

Preschoolers also practise controlling their aggression toward others. They usually gain cooperative play skills, such as taking turns and sharing.

Erikson called this phase the ‘play age,’ and it lasts throughout preschool until children enter formal school.

According to him, the goals in this stage include using imagination, cooperating with others, and serving effectively as both leaders and followers.

How Can Parents Support Growth?

• Help children develop trust in other caring adults
• Give children your full attention when they talk
• Offer opportunities to play with others
• Keep interactions positive and express your own feelings verbally
• Encourage initiative
• Discuss the feelings of others
• Offer praise and encouragement
• Give positive feedback when they express feelings appropriately
• Encourage playing with others, taking turns, and sharing
• Try some fun feelings activities with your preschoolers

Examples of Emotional Development

These are a few emotional development examples:

• Showing affection for others
• Expressing awareness of their own feelings and those of others
• Displaying self-control and management of emotions
• Paying attention to and being observant of others
• Forming healthy friendships
• Expressing feelings through words
• Exhibiting pride in accomplishments
• Asking for help if needed but showing independence when possible
• Exhibiting a positive self-image
• Learning from mistakes
• Building healthy relationships with adults

This post contains affiliate links for educational products that I personally recommend. If you purchase through one of them, I earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Read the terms and conditions for more details.

Emotional Milestones by Age

Here are some typical emotional and social milestones, as explained by Martie Pieterse in her fantastic book “Language and School Readiness”.

Emotional Milestones for Babies

By Three Months

• Starts smiling between 4 and 8 weeks
• Likes main carers
• Prefers not to be alone
• Gurgles back to you when you talk to them

By Four Months

• Recognizes familiar people and shows excitement when they see them
• Gets bored when alone
• Laughs out loud

Five to Six Months

• Likes the mirror but isn’t able to recognize their reflection yet
• Smiles more at those they have formed a bond with
• Likes friendly voices
• Strokes or pulls the hair of someone holding them 

Seven to Twelve Months 

• Likes certain people 
• Wants to be with main carer all the time
• Gets upset when left alone
• Is afraid of strange people or places
• Becomes quite clingy by 10 months

Twelve to Eighteen Months

• Likes making people laugh
• Shows happiness or frustration
• Likes other children but can’t yet play with them
• Shows some jealousy
• By 18 months imitates others

Emotional Milestones for 2-Year-Olds

• Likes playing with others but can’t share toys yet
• Tries to get attention through behaviour
• Sometimes hits or bites to get a reaction
• Exerts will, sometimes with a tantrum
• Transitions from a baby to a child

Emotional Milestones for 3-Year-Olds

• Is egocentric and sees things from their own perspective
• Talks about self, family and possessions
• Waits for you to finish talking before they do
• Responds to your emotions
• Wants to comfort you
• Does small tasks at home, such as sorting the laundry or setting the table
• Is possessive over toys
• Shows empathy with the story characters
• Pretends to be someone else
• May have an imaginary friend
• Prefers playing with certain friends over others

Emotional Milestones for

4-Year-Olds

• Distinguishes between self and other people
• Sees fantasy and reality as very close to each other
• Behaviour is often for attention
• Becomes competitive
• Has basic social skills and is able to greet, talk and answer questions – if this behaviour was modelled

Emotional Milestones for 5 and 6-Year-Olds

• Friendships become more stable
• Is often bossy
• Tries to consider others’ suggestions while playing
• Learns the value of compromise and negotiation
• Seeks approval of friends
• Competes with friends
• May boast about parents’ possessions
• Still learning about consequences and accepting responsibility for actions

What if My Child Struggles Emotionally?

You may have a growing sense that your child is struggling in certain areas of emotional development. Keep in mind that the timeline for reaching emotional development benchmarks is not set in stone.

But if you have not seen progress in skills for some time or if you suspect some regression, what can you do?

If your child is not yet in school, you can ask your doctor for a developmental specialist referral. For children under about age three, you could also check for a local early intervention program to pursue an evaluation.

Try your local school district if your child is older than three. Various types of evaluations and assessments may be used, depending on age and the area(s) of concern.

Typical goals of services include the growth of positive social-emotional skills and acquisition of communication skills and knowledge, along with the integration of developing skills.

What are the Options?

Depending on your child’s age, the following kinds of occupational therapy interventions may be possibilities:

• Touch-based interventions to coach parents for increased parent-child bonding
• Relationship-based interventions to enhance caregiver-child interactions
• Joint attention interventions, often with one child and one adult
• Naturalistic preschool interventions for child-to-child engagement
• Instruction-based interventions to directly teach social behaviours

Possible avenues for assistance can include the following:

• Family resource centres
• Libraries
• Parenting education programs
• Mental health counselling

As parents, you have daily opportunities to help your child develop to their full potential. Many of these support strategies may come naturally to you.

For those aspects that seem more challenging, just look back at the handy information on this site. That way, you can be sure you are meeting their emotional needs and giving your children all the assistance they require!

Sources:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23791314/

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/teachereducationx92x1/chapter/eriksons-stages-of-psychosocial-development/

Get FREE access to Printable Puzzles, Stories, Activity Packs and more!

Join Empowered Parents + and you’ll receive a downloadable set of printable puzzles, games and short stories, as well as the Learning Through Play Activity Pack which includes an entire year of activities for 3 to 6-year-olds.
Access is free forever.

Signing up for a free Grow account is fast and easy and will allow you to bookmark articles to read later, on this website as well as many websites worldwide that use Grow.

• Share

• Email

Emotional development of a preschool child

Emotional development of a preschool child

The article was prepared by: educational psychologist Koroleva M.V.

Man’s relationship to the surrounding world is not only understood by him and manifested in actions, but also experienced in the form of emotions. Emotions are one of the forms of reflection by consciousness of the real world.

Accompanying almost any manifestation of the subject’s activity, emotions serve as one of the main mechanisms of internal regulation of mental activity and behavior aimed at meeting urgent needs. nine0007

The emotional sphere is an important component in the development of preschoolers, since no communication, interaction will be effective if its participants are not able, firstly, to “read” the emotional state of another, and secondly, to manage their emotions. Understanding your emotions and feelings is also an important point in the formation of the personality of a growing person.

The formation of a person’s emotions is the most important condition for his development as a person. The extraordinary diversity of human emotions is explained by the complexity of the relationship between the objects of his needs, the specific conditions of occurrence and the activities aimed at achieving them. The class of emotions includes: moods, feelings, affects, passions, stresses. These are the so-called “pure” emotions. They are included in all mental processes and human states. nine0007

Preschool childhood is a very short period in a person’s life, only the first seven years. One of the main directions of mental development in preschool age is the formation of the foundations of personality. The child begins to realize his “I”, his activity, activity, begins to objectively evaluate himself. The emotional life of a preschooler becomes more complicated: the content of emotions is enriched, higher feelings are formed.

A 4-7 year old preschooler is a person with a rich and varied emotional world, he deeply feels, his experiences, first of all, are closely connected with relationships in the circle of loved ones. nine0007

The emotional development of a preschooler is associated primarily with the emergence of new interests, motives and needs. The most important change in the motivational sphere is the emergence of social motives that are no longer determined by the achievement of narrowly personal utilitarian goals. Therefore, social emotions and moral feelings begin to develop intensively.

Emotions also play an important role in a child’s life. They help to perceive reality and respond to it. An emotional anticipation is formed in a preschooler, which makes him worry about the possible results of his activity, to anticipate the reaction of other people to his actions. Therefore, the role of emotions in the activity of the child changes significantly. If earlier the child felt joy because he got the desired result, now he is happy because he can get this result. If earlier he fulfilled a moral standard in order to earn a positive assessment, now he fulfills it, foreseeing how those around him will be delighted with his act. nine0007

At preschool age, the emotional world of a child is richer and more diverse. From basic emotions (joy, fear) he moves to a more complex range of feelings: happy and angry, jealous and sad. The language of such feelings as the expression of shades of experiences with the help of glances, gestures, smiles, movements, voice intonations is also assimilated.

It is at preschool age that a child masters the highest forms of expression – the expression of feelings through intonation, facial expressions, pantomime, which helps him understand the experiences of another person, “discover” them for himself. nine0007

The whole life of a child of early and preschool age is subject to his feelings. He still cannot control his feelings. Therefore, children are much more prone to mood swings than adults. It is easy to amuse them, but it is even easier to upset or offend, since they almost do not know themselves at all and do not know how to control themselves. That is why they are able to experience a whole gamut of feelings and excitement in an unusually short period of time. The mood of the child largely depends on relationships with adults and peers. nine0007

The development of emotions and feelings in preschool children depends on a number of conditions

1. Emotions and feelings are formed in the process of communication between a child and peers. Empathy with peers largely depends on the situation and position of the child. In conditions of acute personal rivalry, emotions overwhelm the preschooler, and the number of negative expressions addressed to a peer increases sharply. In group competitions, the interests of the group serve as the main core, and success or failure is shared by everyone together, the strength and amount of negative expression decreases, because against the general background of the group, personal successes and failures are less noticeable. nine0040

2. Through specially organized activities (eg music lessons, reading fairy tales), children learn to experience certain feelings associated with perception (eg music). The child experiences the brightest positive emotions in a situation of comparing himself with a positive literary hero, actively empathizing with him. The preschooler makes such a comparison only mentally and with confidence that in a similar situation he would have acted the same way. Therefore, there are no negative emotions towards the character. nine0040
3. Emotions and feelings develop very intensively in the type of activity appropriate for the age of preschoolers – in a game saturated with experiences. A powerful factor in the development of humane feelings is a role-playing game. Role-playing actions and relationships help the preschooler to understand the other, take into account his position, mood, desire.

4. In the process of labor activity aimed at achieving a result useful to others, new emotional experiences arise: joy from common success, sympathy for the efforts of comrades, satisfaction from the good performance of one’s duties, dissatisfaction with one’s poor work. nine0040

An important feature of emotional development is the close connection with the situation of direct communication of experiences through the prism of direct communicative relations.

In general, children are optimistic about life situations. They have a cheerful, cheerful mood. Usually, the emotions and feelings of preschoolers are accompanied by expressive movements: facial expressions, pantomime, voice reactions. Expressive movements are one of the means of communication. The development of emotions and feelings is associated with the development of other mental processes and, to the greatest extent, with speech. nine0007

One of the most important components of the moral development of children is the development of empathy as a person’s ability to sympathize with other people and empathize with them, to understand their conditions. The study of the child’s emotions plays an important role in identifying the causes of the child’s behavior, allows you to determine his attitude to the world.

Emotional development of preschool children

Emotional development of preschool children

Please wait, the request is in progress

No results found matching your query

Show more

Home

\

Olga Garanina

\

Emotional development of preschool children

\

Psychology

All articles of Psychology

{{Text} give children the opportunity to develop various skills and abilities. Attending sports sections, studying the alphabet and simple mathematics, classes in a creative studio – all this, of course, has a positive effect on the development of a child. However, the emotional upbringing of a preschooler is no less important, because. it is during this period that the foundations of the emotional susceptibility and adaptation of the baby are laid. nine0007

Peculiarities of emotional education

Unlike skills, emotions cannot be mastered, but they can be quite successfully formed if the appropriate conditions are created. By nature, children are very receptive to the emotional environment in which they are, so any changes in the behavior of parents and close relatives do not go unnoticed by the child. Naturally, the child’s psyche differs significantly from that of an adult, and it is important to take this into account when educating. Psychologists even identify some obvious features of the emotional development of children of primary preschool age:

• Visual perception of emotional manifestations. Toddlers are curious and often notice things that escape the eyes of adults. For example, they may understand that a person is upset or upset, but they do not always know how to behave in such situations. That is why it is the demonstration of illustrative examples that is the most effective method of emotional education of children.
• Suddenness of emotions. Toddlers, unlike adults, do not dwell on their experiences. Now they are crying, and in a few minutes they are bursting with infectious laughter. Such behavior should not be interpreted as emotional instability – for younger preschoolers it is considered the norm. nine0040
• New facets of expression. At the age of 3-5 years, the range of emotional manifestations in children significantly expands. If in the first years of life it is limited to a few mimic and gestural movements, then during this period it becomes wider and more expressive.
• Sources of experiences and emotions. Until the age of 3, children mostly react sharply to organic needs – hunger, desire to sleep, etc. At a younger preschool age, other causes of emotional excitability appear – kids learn the joy of a good song, experience jealousy, get acquainted with resentment. nine0040
• Emotional anticipation. Preschoolers over 3 years old can experience emotions not only at the end of any action or event, but also before them. For example, if you promised him a trip to the zoo on the weekend, the expectation of this day will be filled with bright positive experiences.

We form a favorable emotional environment

Many parents want to teach their child to manage emotions in order to prepare him for the difficulties of school and then adult life. Even experienced child psychologists cannot offer universal ways to do this – you need to approach each baby individually. However, there is no doubt that by creating a favorable emotional environment, parents have a positive effect on the emotional development of the baby. Psychologists advise the following:

• Offer a variety of toys. Naturally, each kid has his own preferences – soldiers are closer to someone, cubes to someone. But variety is what matters. If a child has mainly aggressive toys in the room, such as pistols and machine guns, then his level of aggression will be higher than that of peers who have access to designers, mosaics, etc.
• Expand communication. Social contacts are essential for a baby to learn to recognize and express emotions. Do not limit him to communication only with close relatives – let him establish contacts with others on his own. nine0040
• Encourage creativity. With the help of music, drawing, modeling and other types of creativity, the baby can not only develop concentration, but also express emotions, convey their desires and experiences.
• Develop humane feelings in your child. Many emotions and feelings in preschoolers are formed independently, but the desire and ability to help, empathize and sympathize must be developed. Parents need to talk about the need to respect elders, not offend comrades, love animals and nature. nine0040
• Use situational role-playing games, dramatizations, psychological exercises. Visibility is a necessary element of the emotional education of preschoolers. To understand emotions, babies need to see them, which is why it is so important to arrange games aimed at learning them.

Finally, the atmosphere in the family plays the most important role in the emotional development of preschoolers. It is intra-family relationships that determine the prevailing emotions in the behavior of babies and influence the degree and color of their emotional expressiveness. nine0007

How emotional is your child? Would you like to correct his emotional state? Did you have to change something in the family in order to provide a favorable emotional background? Share your experience in the comments.

Products from Rastishka

Other articles in the category Psychology

“Do one, do two!”, or Five useful exercises for schoolchildren

nine0004 “Fat bespectacled man!”: how to talk to a kid about bullying

Culinary Advent: we are waiting for the holiday tasty and healthy

How to make the most of your winter holidays

{{name}}

This site uses cookies to collect information about you.