Day care routines for toddlers: How to create daily schedules for your childcare classrooms

RITUALS AND ROUTINES: Supporting Infants and Toddlers and Their Families

by Linda Gillespie and Sandra Petersen

Josh brings Eliana, 20 months, into the family child care provider’s home. Sherita greets Josh and Eliana with a warm “Good morning!” Eliana buries her head in her father’s shoulder. Sherita pats Eliana on the back and says, “It feels so good to snuggle with Daddy.” Josh tells Sherita how Eliana slept and what she had for breakfast. Eliana peeks at Sherita, and Sherita says, “I see you looking at me! Come, let me hold you while Daddy leaves for work. You know what to do: give him a kiss and a hug, and then we will go to the window. Watch—when Daddy gets to the car, he’s going to turn around and wave to you.” Eliana watches for her daddy to turn around and wave, then waves back.

MORNING ARRIVALS didn’t always go this smoothly for Eliana and her father. When Eliana first came to Sherita’s program, she had a very hard time letting her father leave and he had a hard time leaving. Sherita suggested that she and Josh think about a ritual to perform every morning when he left. Eliana could feel some control over this transition (or at least an understanding of her own role), and that might make it easier for both of them to say goodbye.

Josh suggested the strategy described in the vignette because it was what he and his partner did when they left Eliana at home with a babysitter. In the beginning, Eliana still cried. But over time and with patience, this daily ritual smoothed the way for parting from her dad at the family child care home.

What are routines?

The words routine and ritual are sometimes used interchangeably. Yet there are some important differences. Routines are repeated, predictable events that provide a foundation for the daily tasks in a child’s life. Teachers can create a predictable routine in early childhood settings for infants and toddlers, and they can individualize those routines to match children’s needs for sleeping and eating and to support children’s development of self-regulation. Individualizing a routine means that the sequence is the same but the actions and timing may vary to accommodate the needs of individual children.

A typical schedule for infants and toddlers consists of arrival, playtime, snack, lunch, naptime, snack, and departure, with diapering taking place when needed and diaper checks at scheduled times throughout the day. Within this schedule, individual children arrive at different times, nap for different periods, eat when hungry, and so on. But the schedule of events remains consistent, providing a basic framework for the day. The familiar pattern helps infants and toddlers know what to expect and when to expect it. However, even when routines are consistent and predictable, a ritual can ease or enhance aspects of routines to make them more manage-able and meaningful to the child and the caregiver.

What are rituals?

Rituals can be defined as special actions that help us navigate emotionally important events or transitions in our lives as well as enhance aspects of our daily routines to deepen our connections and relationships. For adults, rituals are sometimes associated with events like weddings, funerals, holidays, and religious practices. They provide a way to acknowledge the importance of such events and are usually comforting.

In early childhood settings, rituals can be developed between a parent and child or a teacher and child to ease or enrich emotionally loaded moments such as separations. A ritual is a special practice that helps a child accept aspects of a routine, even an individualized routine, that are stressful. In the opening vignette, the parting ritual that takes place within the arrival routine provides a bridge for the emotionally challenging experience of saying good-bye.

The time, predictability, and reliable emotional tone of rituals give the child, parent, and caregiver a sense of comfort and control. They help the child manage, or regulate, the unsettling feelings evoked by change and draw the child and the parent or caregiver closer with each reassuring repetition. Rituals support emotional self-regulation by offering young children a way to manage their strong emotions during a stressful time.

Because rituals are attuned to a child’s individual needs, age, and family culture, they are developmentally appropriate. Each ritual is an individual set of practices for a particular child and her family or teacher. Eliana’s ritual matches her stage of development. It would not work with a 6-month-old, whose memory would not be developed enough to hold a sequence of events in his mind.

Rituals are culturally appropriate because families help create them by sharing information about their ways of handling specific routines or emotionally challenging events. For example, a caregiver engaged in the routine of hand washing with Bobby (10 months) sings the ABC song to him, so that Bobby washes his hands for the required 30 seconds. She uses this song because it is the song Bobby’s mother uses at home. For Eric, 30 months, she sings a song about the bubbles going down the drain, a ritual they developed together to make that 30 seconds fly by. These simple rituals around hand washing help deepen her relationship with each child and make even the mundane meaningful for both child and adult.

Rituals are not just about making transitions easier for an infant; they are also about helping the special adults in the infant’s life. Donald Winnicott, a pediatrician and renowned psychiatrist, stated, “There is no such thing as a baby… [there is] a baby and someone. A baby cannot exist alone, but is essentially part of a relationship.” (1964/1987, 88).

Rituals can provide support to that important someone in a child’s life. Josh felt respected when Sherita enlisted his support in easing Eliana’s transitions into her care, taking into consideration his experiences and practices. Rituals, when created by parent, child, and teacher together, respect each person’s feelings. Therefore, they support the goal of creating and deepening the strong connections between parents and their children as well as between parents and their children’s teachers. Over time, the morning parting ritual may change as Eliana adjusts to Sherita’s family child care program and develops new ways to meet her need for security and control. This ritual will have provided a stepping stone toward her new understanding.

Rituals are intentional ways of approaching a routine, with careful consideration of the needs of the individual within the routine. For early childhood professionals, they are a way to connect on a deeper level with families and their children. Rituals and routines work together to create secure environments that nurture relationships between infants and their caregivers. They strengthen the bond between parents and child as well as create a partnership between parents and their child’s teacher.

THINK ABOUT IT.

• What role do you see rituals playing in your life?
• What is a ritual that has been particularly helpful to you? Why?

TRY IT.

• Think about the children in your care. In what ways do you support their transitions throughout the day?
• Talk with families about the rituals they practice at home. Bath time and bedtime may be routine until a young child suddenly worries about the dark or about going down the drain. At that point, the adult might use a special ritual to help the child manage his fears.

Reference

Winnicott, D.W. 1964/1987. The Child, the Family, and the Outside World. New York: Perseus.

Copyright © 2012 by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. See Permissions and Reprints online at www.naeyc.org/yc/permissions.

Creating Routines for Love and Learning

Routines provide the two key ingredients necessary for learning: relationships and repetition.

For most of us, our lives involve a series of patterns—routines we perform almost every day, like stopping at the same place each day for coffee on the way to work. This is also very true for babies and toddlers. While we play a part in creating routines in our children’s lives, we may not fully realize the role they play in young children’s development.

Routines and Self-Control

Routines help babies and toddlers learn self-control.

Consistent routines, activities that happen at about the same time and in about the same way each day, provide comfort and a sense of safety to young children. Whether it is time to play, time for a snack, a nap, or a loved one to return, knowing what will happen next gives babies and toddlers security and emotional stability. It helps them learn to trust that caring adults will provide what they need. When children feel this sense of trust and safety, they are free to do their “work,” which is to play, explore, and learn.

Routines and Power Struggles

Routines can bring you and your child closer together and reduce power struggles.

Stable routines allow babies and toddlers to anticipate what will happen next. This gives young children confidence, and also a sense of control, such as when parents say: “It is bedtime. Would you like to brush teeth now or after we get your pajamas on?” Routines can also limit the amount of “no’s” and behavior corrections you need to give a toddler throughout the day, since your child can better predict what should happen next: “I know you want a cracker. But it is clean-up time now. Remember, after clean-up, it is snack-time. ”

Routines and Safety

Routines guide positive behavior and safety.

Routines are like instructions—they guide children’s actions toward a specific goal. Routines can be used for many reasons, but two of the most important are ensuring children’s health and safety, and helping children learn positive, responsible behavior. For example, children wash hands before they have snack, or must hold an adult’s hand when crossing the street. Here is another example: Two-year-old George loves to play with his trucks in the afternoon as mom feeds baby Kira. When mom is done, it is time for them to pick up Dad at the bus stop. All the trucks have to be back in the bucket before they go. Mom lets George know when it’s clean-up time by ringing a special bell she has and saying, “Okay, driver, it’s time for the trucks to park in the garage.” One by one, George wheels each truck up a block plank and into the bucket. Each day they do this, and each day George knows he’ll find his trucks where he put them—back in the bucket. He also knows that after he puts away his trucks, he’ll get to see his dad which always makes him happy.

Routines and Social Skills

Routines support and develop children’s social skills.

As babies grow, they come into contact with more people and begin to learn patterns and routines for social interaction. Greetings, good-byes, and chatting with others are examples of routine interactions that teach social skills. These interactions are also opportunities to help our children develop language skills.

Play-time and mealtime are two routines that are very social times for children and parents alike. Through talking, taking turns, sharing toys, learning to wait, and helping others during these activities, young children learn important social skills that will help them later on in school.

Routines and Transitions

Routines help children cope with transitions.

Depending on your child’s temperament, transitions between activities may be easy or more difficult. Going from play to lunch, lunch to the store, the store to home…and especially transitioning to bed time, can be challenging. Routines (like bedtime routines) can help make transitions easier. Some parents use a timer or a “5-minute warning” to prepare their toddlers for a change in activity. Others use a book, song, or special game. Special rituals can also help transition a child from one caregiver to the next, such as this routine:

Each day, Leke and his mother count the steps as they walk up to the child care center. They leave his coat and lunch in his cubby. Then they go to the toy area where the other children are playing. Leke picks out a toy. He and his mother exchange “butterfly kisses” and mom waves good-bye.

Routines and Parental Happiness

Routines are satisfying for parents, too.

Not only do routines and rituals make transitions easier for children—they also help ease adults into parenthood. The early stages of becoming a parent can be overwhelming and sometimes put a strain on marriage. Continuing a ritual from your early marriage years (like an evening out or a special vacation spot) can help. In addition, taking a special ritual from your own childhood (such as a book that was read to you, a special breakfast made for you on Saturdays) can bridge your transition from a couple to a family.

Routines and Learning

Routines are an important opportunity for learning.

Daily routines are often thought of as just “maintenance” activities: meal time, running errands, getting ready for bed, taking baths. But these everyday actions are rich opportunities to support your child’s learning and development, while having fun. Routines offer the chance to build self-confidence, curiosity, social skills, self-control, communication skills, and more. Take grocery shopping:

Midori (aged 2) and her mom wheeled through the supermarket. Midori pointed at the apples and her mom said, “Look at the red apples and the green apples. Don’t they look yummy?” She held one out for Midori to touch: “Feel how smooth they are. ” Then she picked up a plastic bag and turned back to Midori: “Why don’t you help me choose some to bring home?” Together, they counted out five apples and put them in the bag. Midori tried her best to help, but those apples were hard to hold! It took two hands to get one in the bag. “Nice work!” said her mother, “Thanks for helping.”

Here, a simple interaction in the produce section opened the doors for practicing language skills, taking turns, talking, using one’s senses, and learning about numbers. It also provided a chance to nurture Midori’s self-confidence and self-esteem as her mother let her know that her thoughts and interests were important. Midori’s mom also let her know that she was capable of doing important things, like choosing and bagging the apples.

Routines provide the two key ingredients for learning: relationships and repetition. So enjoy these “ordinary” moments with your child. If she’s having fun with you, she’s learning, too!

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