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what to do when it’s time to go to kindergarten

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Vegetarian children: what to do when it’s time to go to kindergarten

Whether or not to be a vegetarian for a child is a topic for a separate discussion. Those who answered yes to this question for themselves or give the child the right to choose will have a difficult decision to make. Which kindergarten to send the child to and how to protect him from harmful products, because kindergarten and vegetarian food are not very compatible, and you can’t bring your own food. Even if you were allowed to bring lunch with you, there will still be a “kind soul” who will offer the child, under various pretexts, to eat a cutlet or sausage. And if a child at the age of 6 with already formed eating habits can fight back such an onslaught (and that depends on the character), then at the age of 3-4 it is almost unrealistic. For example, my son, who refused meat at the age of 4 himself (I am a supporter of not limiting, but giving the little man the opportunity to choose), will never give up sausage or sausage, which is much more harmful than ordinary meat (and all because he tried them once when I was not around). What can we say about food, where the meat is diligently disguised.

So what should parents do who dismissed the option of a nanny or sitting with grandparents (it doesn’t matter, because of the lack of opportunity or desire to adapt the child to society)?

First, let’s look at alternative options for the state kindergarten.

1. The simplest answer to this question is a vegetarian kindergarten. I tried to find such kindergartens in 20 cities and I can say that in each of them there is some kind of solution. If this is not a large kindergarten or a children’s center, then there are alternative options – home kindergartens. Of the pluses – you, for sure, can be calm about the child’s nutrition: they will not feed him meat or sausages for sure. Of the minuses, it is not the fact that a vegetarian kindergarten is good from other points of view, and home kindergartens cannot always be trusted. Read reviews and decide for yourself. Another disadvantage is that not everyone can afford the monthly payment.
   2. Non-state kindergarten, where you can agree on meals (the last moment is key, because not everywhere, despite the commercial basis, this is possible). It was on this option, guided by the recommendations, that I stopped, because not only nutrition is important for me, but also the quality of education. In the garden where my son goes, the children themselves choose what they eat, they are not forced. That is, they are not forced at all, because to persuade is also partly to force. As a result, my child is happy, does not eat meat, but eats vegetables, fruits and side dishes with pleasure. Surely, in your city there is a similar garden. Of the minuses, of course, finances. Private kindergartens are additional expenses that not everyone can afford.
   3. A community of vegetarian moms and a self-organized mini-kindergarten. If the first options do not suit you for some reason, then there is another way for active and courageous mothers. You are clearly not alone in your problem, on all forums to the question: “would you be interested in sending your child to a vegetarian kindergarten” there is always a flurry of people who want to. Therefore, if you can’t choose the appropriate option, then you can create it yourself or with a group of interested mothers, and even earn some money. Of the minuses – not everyone is ready to carry out such work in order to resolve the issue with the child’s kindergarten and a high degree of responsibility. Although it is not necessary to lead this group, you can simply send the child there. Take care of medical safety only.

If all of the above is not for you and the only possible solution is a state kindergarten, you should not let everything take its course and give up.

1. There are fewer options to arrange to bring your own food here, but you can still try. If you can choose a kindergarten, then read the reviews, find the most loyal or groups with a non-standard trip. Despite the fact that most kindergartens will refuse you, you may find the right one. It is necessary to negotiate not only with the head, but also with the teacher, and with the nanny, who is directly responsible for feeding the children, because usually it is they who violate all requests and agreements. It will be much easier to conduct a dialogue if your views are confirmed by medical indications and there is a certificate from a doctor, for example, that the child is allergic. Be friendly, but firmly argue your position. If you find out that, contrary to your prohibition, they tried to feed the child with meat, do not take it as a failure and disaster, talk again.
2. If you have a free work schedule, you can be replaced by a grandmother or a kindergarten if you need to adapt the baby in society, then agree on a part-time day and pick up the child before lunch. As a rule, meat products are not served for breakfast in kindergartens, and if you do not adhere to a vegan diet, then the first meal that is not suitable for you is lunch. At this point, the child’s need for communication and activities will be satisfied, and the problem of food will be exhausted by itself.
3. Another variation of the second way, but here it is important not only to have time or a grandmother, but also the territorial principle: you can simply take the child for lunch and return to the group. This is what my friend does, who has a husband’s job, a kindergarten and a house not far away. They agreed with the manager and every day, going home for lunch, dad picks up the child and takes him back on the way to the office.
4. Are you alone in your views? Create a community of like-minded parents in a kindergarten or group. This will allow for greater understanding. If you remember, the first refusals of parents from vaccinations caused a storm of emotions, persuasion, and even unauthorized actions of doctors. Now this is perceived as something normal and the opinion of parents on this issue is respected, even at the legislative level. Perhaps soon it will be the same with vegetarian food, if we talk about it!

Anna Vasilyeva, psychologist, vegan:

Unfortunately, our society is not yet sufficiently loyal to vegetarianism. This is especially true for small cities or towns far from the capital: of course, in Moscow and St. Petersburg, this is easier. Although, if we are talking about children’s vegetarianism, then the attitude towards it is sharply negative in the “advanced” megacities. Prioritize and make a decision. In the case of public kindergartens, where you do not have such freedom as in commercial ones, consider a few points. It is important for a child to feel part of society, and even if you managed to agree on bringing food with you, it is important that the baby does not sit at a separate table and does not feel like an outcast. They will still try to feed the child with meat or sausage, if not explicitly, so finely chopped into soup in order to save him from “sectarian parents.” It is difficult to protect yourself from the second, except by referring to medical indications. In the first case, educate awareness in a small person, instill food habits and explain why you eat one thing with him and not eat another. A child who is simply forbidden by his parents is more likely to agree to eat a sausage than one who understands why there is no meat in his diet. In any case, be patient, write down your priorities, make the right decision and follow it.

Olga Sahakyan

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Eating pigs: the ethical cost of ham, pork and bacon

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Vegan Activist Reveals Truth About Australian Pig Slaughtering

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Vegan and activist Chris Delforce has made great efforts to uncover the truth about the slaughter of pigs in Australian slaughterhouses. Delforce spent nine hours hiding in the gas chamber filming pigs being stunned with carbon dioxide before being killed and bleeding to death. The footage, which aired on Australian TV’s 7:30 p.m. evening program, shocked viewers with eerie scenes of animals writhing and screaming in fear and pain.

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E. coli from meat “causes half a million urinary tract infections in the US each year”

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“God, give dad a cool grenade launcher.” How Russian women are waiting for their men from the war and explaining to themselves where they were taken

Nestka tells the stories of five women who are waiting for mobilized husbands from the war and have been trying for six months to understand why they risk remaining single mothers. All of them say they would be willing to exchange military payments for the demobilization of their husbands. At the same time, they often have no idea what exactly men are doing in Ukraine, why they were sent there, and they avoid this topic.

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“I don’t need these lands in Ukraine for nothing”

sedated with sedatives.

“Everyone was intimidated then,” Alena recalls. “We thought that if you didn’t show up according to the summons, you’d be put in jail. And then you wouldn’t get a job anywhere.”

Sergei went to the recruiting office and asked for a week’s delay in order to get married. He proposed to Alena in the summer, and they were supposed to get married on October 4th. The postponement was refused to Sergei, and instead of the wedding they had a formal painting, without guests and a few days ahead of the planned date, so that the mobilized had time to start the exercises before being sent to the front.

“When at such a moment even your parents are not with you, it’s insulting and sad,” says Alena.

Going to the exercises, Sergei tried to cheer up his loved ones and convince them that nothing terrible was happening.

“He told us, laughing, ‘Don’t worry. Let’s go dance and come back. Let’s kill a few Ukrainians – it’s okay,” Alena recalls.

According to her, such “jokes” helped Sergei cope with the fear of the unknown. The girl saw her husband crying while packing and was alone in the room . Saying goodbye , Sergei told Alena that she was now his talisman: if he was faithful to him, he would return and “everything would be fine.” when her husband crossed the border, she found out she was pregnant, she called her husband and the news brought him to tears because he was “not at home” at “such a moment”.0003

The girl’s pregnancy is going through with complications – according to Alena, due to constant stress. In the first weeks of her term, her stomach got very sick, “like a miscarriage,” and the girl was admitted to the hospital for preservation. In the middle of her pregnancy Alena began to lose weight – the doctors could not understand the reason, but explained to her that it was not normal .

“I think it’s all because I just lost the desire to eat: somehow I don’t feel like it without my husband,” says Alena.

To reduce her anxiety, the girl got a job as a cook in a kindergarten. But because of her weakened immune system, she often got sick, so after a few months she took a sick leave, and then went on maternity leave. At home, she began making soap bouquets to sell. Alena says that this activity calms her down and the day goes by faster.

In February, a girl was taken to the hospital by ambulance because of pyelonephritis. There were no close people nearby, and when the pain ceased to be acute, she had to persuade the doctors to let her go home for an hour for spare clothes.

“I explained that I live alone and there is no one to help me,” Alena recalls.

One month left before the expected date of delivery. For all the time that Sergei spent at the front, he did not manage to get a vacation, and Alena worries that her husband has not yet “touched his stomach, did not feel the child moving.” But the girl believes that by the birth of a new person in their family, Sergei will still be allowed to go home. She imagines how her husband, who has returned from the front, meets her near the maternity hospital with balloons.

“Many people say that postpartum depression is a myth,” she says. “But I think if my husband is not around, I will go crazy. I am very against my child growing up without a father . If my husband is approved vacation, and then they take it back, that’s not it. Only the child will get used to it, he will leave again for six months. In fact, there was an uncle – and there is no uncle.”

Alena and her husband do not discuss what is happening in Ukraine and why the mobilized were sent to fight. When they manage to get on the phone, they only talk about household chores and relatives. During a conversation with Nestka, the girl admitted that she did not understand why they “started a war” and “pulled out family people” to Ukraine.

“ I don’t need these lands in Ukraine for nothing,” she says. “We can’t build a lot of things in Russia – everywhere there are roads anyhow, and then there are some new territories . I don’t need these 200 thousand, “I could live on a salary of 40,000 without begging. The main thing is to have a husband at home who helps me in everything and does not even let me carry a bag of two apples from the store.”

“If I drip on his brain, how bad it is for me, he will only get worse”

When Olga and Maxim from Novosibirsk had a son in the summer of 2021, they agreed that they would take care of the newborn together. Maxim changed his job so as not to go on business trips and spend more time at home. And after work, according to Olga, he hurried home or even arrived earlier if she “started hysterical because of her son’s crying.” Maxim also always bathed the baby before going to bed, and Olga had time to go outside, get some fresh air and drink coffee.

“My husband told me that his family is more important to him than work,” says the woman.

Two months after the couple celebrated their son’s first birthday, a partial mobilization was announced in Russia. According to Olga, Maxim did not understand the meaning of what was happening, and together they tried to discuss what they would do if a summons came. They came to the conclusion that they did not have enough money to leave the country. At the same time, Maxim expected that he would be the last to be called up, since he is a father of many children – he is raising two more children from his first marriage .

In October, Maxim received a summons from his place of work and went to the military enlistment office.

“There he was told: ‘What difference does it make where the alimony is paid from? Pack your things here in two days, “recalls Olga. – He went. My husband is such a person. Probably the most honest and decent of everyone I know. After all, he took the oath when he served as a conscript, and that was enough to obey.”

Olga stayed at home with her two sons, one year old and nine years old, from her first marriage. She felt that her life was “changed radically” against her will, and at first fell asleep only with sleeping pills. To cope with her feelings, Olga turned to a psychologist – the specialist suggested that she had an anxiety-depressive disorder.

Olga felt that she no longer belonged to herself, as she was alone with her children around the clock. She says that after her husband’s mobilization, “not a single adult person” was left nearby with whom one could talk.

“There were moments when I thought I couldn’t handle it,” she recalls. and again I need to pump. And I’m just exhausted, I can’t open my eyes, but there is no one to call for help. And I get up, take him in my arms, shake and cry, shake and cry. At first it seemed to me that I would soon end. Now I understand that my tears will run out, but I won’t.”

Thanks to working with a psychologist, Olga stopped blaming herself for tears from fatigue and, according to her, “adapted” emotionally. As long as her husband has the opportunity to call or send messages, Olga decided that she should not complain to him about life, so that this does not prevent him from “maintaining maximum good spirits.”

“I understand that it’s hard for them [the mobilized] too, and if I bleed on his brains like I suck and complain, it will get even worse for him,” she says. “And his mood is important there.”

Thanks to the fact that Maksim’s salary is “normal and stable”, Olga can afford to take her son to a private kindergarten and spend several hours without the children. But the payments, she said, did not improve their quality of life – “it turned out that way” because of the cost of ammunition and nannies.

“When I hear arguments from others that the mobilized get 200,000 a month, I just want to say one thing: let’s change!” says Olga. , I don’t need anything else “.

Olga believes that the women who were left at home with their children while the men were in Ukraine “accomplished a feat and continue to accomplish it every day.”

“We tried to get support, but certainly not to become deserters”

When Alina’s husband from Ufa, Rustem, was mobilized, their youngest daughter learned to walk.Alina has a disability of the third group – from birth she has osteochondrosis of the spine and does not have a left hand, so it was difficult for her to help her daughter take her first steps. 0003

“I couldn’t support my daughter the way my husband did, because it’s difficult to create a normal support with one hand,” says Alina. “.

Before the war, Rustem, according to the woman, worked “for himself” in order not to depend on strict work schedules, to spend more time with his family and help his wife. But when I received the summons, I went to the military registration and enlistment office.

“My husband is such a person that he won’t hide,” explains Alina.

According to the woman, she gave her husband the birth certificates of her children and a certificate of her disability, hoping that this would help her get a deferment. But in the military registration and enlistment office did not take into account the documents – on the contrary, they were delighted that they received shooter . According to Alina, they needed mobilized people with just such a military specialty.

After Rustem was taken to combat coordination, Alina herself went to the military registration and enlistment office and tried to prove to the employees that her husband needed a delay. In response, they just shrugged their shoulders.

The city administration and at the reception at United Russia, where Alina applied to get her husband back, found no reason to demobilize him.

“That’s how they took him away, stupidly, stupidly, absurdly, it’s not clear how,” the woman says. “Somewhere, we probably made a mistake – we had to fight at all levels, but we didn’t know how best. We thought maybe , it is better to collect things, rather than sort them out”

Alina began to learn to cope with domestic difficulties alone. Without a husband, with one working hand. According to the woman, the daily routine is hard for her.

All winter, according to the woman, she sat at home with her daughters, because she could not carry a sled and a small child outside with one hand.

Alina takes a shower when her older daughter comes home from school and can look after her younger daughter. She also goes to the nearest store for groceries when her eldest daughter is at home.

The school, according to the woman, is far away, so in winter, at the request of Alina, the eldest daughter was brought home by the parents of the girl’s classmates. With large purchases at the weekend, my sister and my husband’s parents helped. But often a woman is embarrassed to ask relatives to help.

Alina is offended by the Russian state for not returning Rustem home and for not punishing those who simply did not appear on the agenda. According to Alina, she always tried to cope on her own and not enjoy any “privileges” and in return expected that the state would respond to her request when she decided to ask.

“I got a second degree of higher education, worked, tried not to be different from others, didn’t go anywhere to beg for benefits,” she says. “.

When, in April, Rustem managed to come home for ten days, and during the vacation, the spouses were solving “accumulated household chores”.

Alina no longer wants to seek her husband’s return home. Now she prays that her husband is alive and well, and hopes that soon “it will all be over, he will come home” and, as before, will spend time with the children.

“We have two girls, two daughters, they need a dad to grow up, unlearn, arrange their lives,” Alina says. “It will probably be difficult with me alone.”

When Alina was asked by a Nyurstka journalist if her husband had considered not joining the draft board or running away from the military unit, she replied: “ I think our conversation has already gone in the wrong direction, we were just trying to get support, but certainly not become deserters “.

After that, the woman stopped answering questions from the editors.

“Why are you going? This is not your war”

Valeria from the Krasnodar Territory has been raising one five-year-old daughter for seven months already – the child misses her father and in the evening puts a chair to the window to wait for him.

Valeria’s husband was handed a summons at the military enlistment office when he came to register: he was given a few days to pack his things and say goodbye to his family.

“These were tears, hysteria,” the woman recalls. “I told my husband, ‘Why are you going? This is not your war.” Once he answered: “And who, if not me? If I stay at home and they come to you, I won’t be able to protect you alone. I’d rather protect you there.” Our daughter is five years old, but she seems to have sensed the situation, and now the child prays before bed. She says: “ Lord, save and save my dad. Give him a cool tent and a cool grenade launcher. “Although my husband is a tanker.”

Every day Valeria gets up at five in the morning to take her daughter to kindergarten and arrive on time at the brick factory where she works as a handyman. He returns home at seven in the evening, after additional classes for the child. On weekends, Olga tidies up the yard of the house she rents with her family.

Despite her busy daily schedule and housework, she says that she does not face any major difficulties in her daily life after her husband’s departure. She really cares about how her daughter grows up without a father: she yearns for her father and, as it seems to Valeria, she lacks paternal love and male upbringing .

“Only dad was an authority for her,” the woman says. “And without him it’s hard for me to cope with her. question: “Why doesn’t my dad pick me up?” Unfortunately, I will never become a father to my daughter.”

Until March 2023, Valeria’s husband was in Crimea, and she went to visit him twice with her daughter. The mobilized sent his geolocation to his wife, and she picked up the nearest rental housing – a kilometer from the tent camp. Valeria says that these meetings with her husband, which lasted several days, allowed her to forget about the mobilization: the three of them lived as before and felt happy.

“Coming is good, leaving is very bad,” says Valeria. “Coming home from Crimea, the child repeated in the car: “I want to stay. I want to live in a rented apartment where my dad was with us. ”

Valeria says that it’s hard for her to watch her daughter’s feelings, especially at those moments when her husband doesn’t get in touch for days. The woman explained to the child that the father should be in the army now – there he “rides in a tank and protects everyone, first of all her.” But Valeria is scared that the service life can be very long: her husband suddenly began to repeat that he would not return home “soon, in five years “.

In a conversation with “Nimage” she admitted that she did not care what territories would “join and be considered Russia”, and she could never imagine that her husband would take up arms and go to participate in hostilities.

“My husband used to work as a cook in a cafe, and I told him so: I married a barbecue man, not a military man,” recalls Valeria. – The fact that he is now at war is a shock to me. If I could exchange all the payments for the return of my husband, I would. “

A Nestka journalist asked her if she thought that her husband might kill people in the war. Valeria replied that she tried to imagine how she would feel in such a case, and even wanted to discuss this issue with her husband.

“But I explained it to myself this way: there is a war going on, everything – if not him, then his,” the woman says. [shoot a person]…Even the psyche can be disturbed.”