Humble kids: Pediatric Dentist Humble TX Atascocita

What Humble Kids Have in Common

Kids today are growing up on social media, which—as much as it connects us to others in new ways—seems to offer an endless frenzy of opportunities for self-promotion and self-absorption. Learning a habit of humility can be a peaceful counterbalance to help our kids remain kind and grounded.

Researchers have identified two different aspects of humility. On a personal level, humble people have a secure identity that is neither arrogant nor self-deprecating, and they are open-minded about new information. On a social level, humble people focus on others and see others as having the same inherent worth as themselves.

Yet there isn’t much research on how or when humility shows up in children. Understanding how humility develops could help us not just raise humble kids but also promote a more humble society in the long run. So in a recent study, psychologist Judith Danovitch and her colleagues delved into the roots of humility by investigating what it looks like in children’s brains.

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Nearly 130 six to eight year olds from Michigan, who were mostly European American, completed two tests of intellectual humility. First, the researchers asked the children to rate how much they knew about twelve topics—some related to biology, like “why fish can only live in water” or “why some people are born with red hair,” and some related to mechanics, like “how an elevator works” or “why cars need gas.” 

Then, the researchers told the children they would be teamed up with a doctor and a mechanic to see how many questions their team could answer correctly about these topics. The children had to decide which team member would answer each question. Children who rated their knowledge as lower and delegated questions to the doctor and mechanic were considered more humble.

The researchers measured children’s intelligence with a brief IQ test, and then asked them to play a computer game that involved helping a zookeeper capture animals that had escaped from their cages by pressing the spacebar when they saw certain animals, but not pressing the spacebar when they saw orangutans. Children played the game while having their brain activity recorded via electroencephalogram (EEG), which allowed the researchers to see how children responded when they made mistakes during the game.

Overall, Danovitch and her colleagues found that older children showed greater humility than younger children, and (irrespective of age) children who humbly rated their knowledge as lower were more intelligent. They also observed a link between kids’ behavior in the trivia game and their brain activity during the zoo game.

Kids who had humbly delegated questions to others “paid closer attention to their mistakes, or were more aware of having made a mistake,” according to certain brain activity that indicated conscious reflection on errors.

Taken together, these findings offer some hints about how humility might allow kids to cooperate with others and gain knowledge over time. By slowing down to notice and reflect on their mistakes rather than reflexively ignoring or denying them, kids can turn a difficult task into a learning opportunity.

As humility is developing in the brain, research suggests that kids are also starting to be able to detect—and appreciate—humility in the people around them. In a series of three studies, researchers Sara Hagá and Kristina Olson explored young people’s impressions of others. They asked participants to listen to how three people answered questions: One person answered with arrogance and was immediately dismissive of others’ beliefs. Another person responded with diffidence and was reticent about giving an opinion. The last person replied with humility—being pretty sure in answering while also welcoming others’ suggestions. The researchers asked participants how much they liked and wanted to hang out with each person.

The results? Overall, four and five year olds didn’t have a preference among the different people. Seven and eight year olds favored the person with humility over the arrogant person. Older 10 and 11 year olds preferred the person with humility over both the arrogant and the diffident person.

“These results are encouraging in the sense that if societies benefit from having intellectually humble members (e.g., who will ease intergroup relations and conflict resolution), it is valuable to know that intellectually humble people will actually be perceived in a positive light from quite early on in development,” explain Hagá and Olson.

Although we don’t know exactly how to encourage humility in young kids yet, researchers have observed some things that humble kids have in common.

For example, humility seems to go hand in hand with purpose. In a study by psychologist Kendall Cotton Bronk, purposeful youth spontaneously expressed humility in interviews with her research team. The synergy between humility and purpose seemed to help youth seek out mentors and work with like-minded peers. As with the kids playing the trivia game, humility involves asking others for support—which could eventually help kids reach their goals and make a mark on the world.

“In each case, humility supported the youths’ pursuit of purpose and vice versa,” Bronk explains. “The two characteristics work together to promote positive youth development.”

In another study, Marcus Morse described participants, including youth as young as 17 years old, feeling humility during nature adventures. One adventurer in the study described:

When you stop and you look around you, you realize how profoundly unimportant you are to the natural flow of life as it unfolds in there. And I think . . . that [is a] sort of lesson in humility. When I say I’m left with this feeling of awe and an impression of the extraordinary beauty of it, its impact on me as a person is a humbling one. And it makes me profoundly aware of how unimportant I am personally, that my species is not the be-all and the end-all.

These results are in line with recent research that found that nature-induced awe promotes humility. In the face of an expansive view of nature, participants felt smaller—a phenomenon called self-diminishment. Family trips to parks, beaches, and mountains may help children experience humility as they take in the natural world.

The science of humility has steadily expanded in the last 20 years and has included studies of how adults can become more humble. A remaining task for researchers is to shed light on what other kinds of strategies can help us foster humility in our kids. Then we can help them gain the strength not just to see themselves with authenticity but also to share their authentic self with others.

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5 Tips for Parents Who Want to Raise Humble Children

Life

Parents who want humble kids have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

June 20, 2019

Humility, some have mused, is the absence of pride. This isn’t a slight. Those who are humble aren’t pushovers or unwilling to express their opinions or unable to discuss their success. Rather, they understand themselves and their value without needing to flaunt it. They know that pride is not the same as self-confidence. They’re thankful for what they have. They’re self-aware and understand what they can contribute. Parents who intentionally raise humble kids are raising children who are often less prone to stress, able to maintain great friendships, and know their value but don’t flaunt it.

“In the end, humility about being a good person,” says John Duffy, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and author of Parenting the New Teen in the Time of Anxiety. “What I hear from parents more than anything else about what they want for their kids, is they want to raise good people and good citizens and humble people. People who think of the needs of others as often as they think of their own needs.” So how can parents more actively raise humble children? Here, per Duffy, are five things parents who raise humble children do.

They Model Humility

This sounds obvious, sure. But there is no way for parents to effectively teach kids how to be humble without modeling humility themselves. Paradoxically, in order for parents to model humility, they must also be confident.

“Humility and confidence run together. A lack of confidence brings a lack of humility and then brings arrogance or narcissism,” Duffy says. “As parents, we want to show our kids humility in the way we live our day to day lives. If we preach one thing and do something different, our kids will pick up on the dissonance of that.”

If parents make a mistake, they should own up to it and apologize. If they do something great, they should own up to that and apologize, too. It all operates on a spectrum.

They Get Their Kids Involved in Service

“Whether it’s a job or a volunteer experience, kids automatically, organically, and elegantly teach themselves humility through these experiences,” Duffy says. “Nothing is more profound in its impact on that part of their lives than service. It brings gratitude, and humility, at the same time. Those experiences, way more than a lecture from mom and dad, work.”

For many kids, their first volunteer experience or first job is a profound shift in the way they see the world and perceive their privilege. Even if it’s minimum-wage job at a gas station or a few days working with Meals on Wheels, kids can learn a lot about reaching out and giving help to those who need it, and what it means to ask for help.

They Use Media as a Teaching Tool

The good news about teen movies is that they tend to follow the same tropes, Duffy says, and in those moments, the pause button is his favorite tool for teachable moments.

“I love the use of a pause button on TVs,” he says. “Because, if you’re struggling with something, chances are, in any given evening of watching TV, the issue will come up. Humility is certainly among them.”

For example, if, in a TV show, a bully is being mean to another kid in front of a lot of other students, hit the pause button. Then ask: What do you think is happening here? How do you think everyone feels in this scene? Don’t belabor the point. You can move on as soon as your kid answers the question and press ‘play.’ But it’s a good moment to teach a lesson.

They Talk About Current Events

Duffy says that parents, regardless of their political persuasion, can bring up moments where public officials act badly and talk to their kids about it. Again, this shouldn’t be a lecture, and can happen in a quick conversation of 10 to 15 minutes or so. Duffy points to one time he was working with a teenage client who brought up that President Trump had made fun of Pete Buttigieg and called him Alfred A. Neuman from Mad Magazine.

“She said she was not happy about that. I asked her what made her unhappy. She said it could hurt the guy’s feelings and that’s not very nice,” Duffy says. “So we just started talking about – do you see that in your life? In your grade? In your high school? That started this conversation that suggests that, ‘I do not want to be that person. I want to be the person that lifts people up, not bring them down. My own humility is going to be what fosters that.”

They Don’t Lecture

All parents tend to monologue. It comes with the gig. But Duffy’s least favorite way of teaching any lessons to kids is by way of a lecture. “I can’t emphasize enough to the degree to which I loathe lectures to do this,” he says. “Kids are super astute, and lectures fall flat for them. Typically, they know how you feel and they feel patronized if they are being lectured to.”

Instead, Duffy says to use the tools above regularly. Mention something you saw on television. Talk about something a mean politician did. Don’t sit there and say, “Here’s why you need to be humble.”

“Engage them. Kids disengage from lectures. Kids feel they are being patronized; there is a better, more impactful way to get a message to land with them,” he says.

Too shy child – should I be worried?

Too shy child – should I be worried?

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Olga Garanina

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Too shy child – should I be worried?

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Psychology

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A modest child is the joy and pride of parents. He does not interfere in adult conversations, does not conflict with peers, and does not make you blush while shopping. However, child psychologists warn that excessive shyness, which manifests itself at an early age, can harm in the period of growing up. What does this mean for the future? What to do if your child is very shy? And how to distinguish natural modesty from psychological stiffness?

First of all, parents should determine the nature and degree of shyness. If a child withdraws into himself exclusively in stressful situations, then there is no need to beat the alarm. It is only important to understand that in children’s eyes, any situation familiar to adults can become stressful – a trip to a large shopping center, new acquaintances, increased attention from familiar parents, etc.

including when playing with familiar children or communicating with close relatives, you should carefully study his behavior. It is important to understand what is the cause of shyness. Children are very impressionable by nature, and many situations can lead to isolation – conflicts with peers, remarks from adults, family tension, and even watching a movie that is difficult for the child’s psyche.

The logical question is how to help a shy child cope with a problem? Of course, you need to start with confidential conversations in a calm home environment. The task of parents is to open up the child and give him the opportunity to talk about his experiences. If any particular cause of isolation comes to the fore, it should be eliminated. In other cases, the maximum support of the child is required from the parents, including the encouragement of his attempts to overcome shyness. But in no case should you force him to be liberated – in this way the child will stop trusting you and become even more closed in himself.

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Modesty in children. Why it is very important to educate modesty in children

Modesty has always been an important quality for every person. However, modern children do not always understand what it means to be modest and what it is for. It is their parents’ duty to help their children develop this quality in themselves.

Modesty in children. Why is it so important to instill modesty in children?

Today’s children grow up under the huge influence of social networks, which not only unite us with each other, but also offer countless tools for promoting and promoting ourselves. How to help them grow up kind and not fixated solely on themselves? To instill modesty in them – including in assessing themselves and their abilities. This quality can open new horizons for a child.

– How modest people differ.

Researchers identify two aspects. On a personal level, such people are self-confident and open to new information. They don’t act arrogant, but they don’t devalue themselves either. On a social level, they focus on those around them and appreciate them.

Psychologist Judith Danovich and her colleagues recently conducted a study of 130 children aged 6 to 8 years. The researchers first asked children to rate their knowledge on 12 questions. Some of them were related to biology. For example, children were asked: “Why can fish only live in water?” or “Why do some people have red hair?” Another part of the questions was related to mechanics: “How does an elevator work?” or “Why does a car need gas?”

The children were then given a doctor or mechanic as a partner to see how many questions their team could answer. The children themselves chose who from the team would answer each question. Children who rated their knowledge lower and delegated answers to questions to a teammate were considered more modest by the scientists. After a round of questions and answers, the scientists assessed the children’s intelligence using a rapid IQ test.

Children who delegated answers to questions to their partner noticed and analyzed their mistakes more often

The next stage of the experiment was a computer game in which you had to help the zoo keeper to catch the animals that had escaped from the cages. To do this, children had to press the spacebar when they saw certain animals, but not orangutans. If they hit the space bar when they saw an orangutan, it counted as a mistake. While the children played the game, their brain activity was recorded using an electroencephalogram. This allowed the researchers to see what happens in the brains of children when they make a mistake.

First, the older children showed more modesty than the younger participants. Second, children who rated their knowledge more modestly turned out to be smarter on IQ tests.

We also noticed the relationship between the behavior of children at different stages of the experiment. Children who delegated answers to questions to a partner noticed and analyzed their mistakes more often, as evidenced by the pattern of brain activity characteristic of conscious error analysis.

– What can you expect from a modest child.

Research shows that modesty helps children interact with others and gain knowledge. By slowing down to note and analyze their mistake instead of ignoring or denying it, humble children turn a difficult task into an opportunity for development.

Another discovery is that humility goes hand in hand with purposefulness

Also, researchers suggest that shy children are better at noticing and appreciating this quality in others. Scientists Sarah Aga and Christina Olson organized a series of experiments to understand how children perceive other people. Participants were asked to listen to three people answer questions. One responded arrogantly, disregarding other people’s beliefs. The second is reserved and distrustful. The third showed modesty: he was confident enough and at the same time willing to accept other points of view.

The researchers asked participants if they liked these people and would like to spend time with them. Children aged 4-5 years showed no particular preference. Subjects 7-8 years old preferred a modest person to an arrogant one. Children aged 10-11 years preferred modest over arrogant and indecisive.

The researchers commented on the results: “Humble people are important to society: they facilitate interpersonal relationships and the process of conflict resolution. Modest in assessing their intellectual abilities, people from an early age are positively perceived by others.

Another discovery is that modesty goes hand in hand with purpose. In a study by psychologist Kendall Cotton Bronk, goal-oriented children showed modesty in interviews with research team members. A combination of humility and purposefulness helped them find mentors and work with like-minded peers.