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Anzhelika Evdokimova: “A child must be loved with all your heart” – RG62.iNFO

HomeEditor’s ChoiceCultureAngelika Evdokimova: “A child must be loved with all your heart”

Every year on June 1st we celebrate Children’s Day. But the holiday passes, but the children remain. And they need to be protected not once a year, but hourly, every second… We talked about this difficult but noble work – the protection of children – with the Commissioner for Children’s Rights in the Ryazan Region Anzhelika Evdokimova.

– We were all children once… How and where did you spend your childhood?

– I was born in 1969 in the urban-type settlement of Oktyabrsky, Mikhailovsky district, Ryazan region. After the war, a cement plant was built there, respectively, a settlement appeared nearby, in which young workers lived. My father worked at a factory, my mother was a kindergarten teacher. I studied well at school and after graduating from the first time I entered a Moscow university without any tutors.

– Why did you choose a law school?

Nothing happens by chance in life. If something happens, it means that it is necessary for something. I always thought that I would be a teacher of Russian and literature. They even wanted to give me a referral to the Faculty of Philology of the Pedagogical Institute. But in the 10th grade, a classmate offered to enter a law school with her. And I immediately decided that I wanted to be a prosecutor, to fight for justice.

A classmate then did not enter, but I got excited about this idea. At 19In 88, I entered the VYUZI, while I was studying, it was renamed the Moscow State Law University (Moscow State Law University named after O.E. Kutafin). After graduation, I worked in the prosecution authorities, the Investigative Committee, and on November 23, 2020, by the decision of the Ryazan Regional Duma, I was appointed to the position of the Commissioner for Children’s Rights in the Ryazan Region.

– The work of the Commissioner for Children’s Rights in the Ryazan region is still significantly different from the work of the prosecutor. After all, this is working with children. Which, in my opinion, is doubly difficult.

– Emotional involvement, of course, many times more. They work in the investigative committee, moving away from emotions, especially since, as a rule, the tragedy has already occurred. Children are here, and we must do everything in our power to prevent a tragedy.

On my initiative, a regional concept for ensuring the comprehensive safety of children has been developed. In May 2022, it was approved by order of the government of the Ryazan region. During this time, significant work has been done, and there are already positive results.

Most recently, the President of the Russian Federation signed a Decree approving the “Strategy for Comprehensive Child Safety in the Russian Federation until 2030”. This is the most important document, with its approval, the state policy in the field of ensuring children’s safety acquires specific directions – goals, objectives, implementation mechanisms. The main directions of the state policy to ensure children’s safety, which are determined by the Decree of the President: saving children, strengthening the well-being of families with children; development of modern safe infrastructure for children; prevention of crimes against children; formation of a safe information environment for children; strengthening the institution of the family, preserving and supporting traditional spiritual and moral values.

– Surely, the most important layer of your work is the family and the so-called social orphanhood.

– Yes, you are right. We must take measures to prevent social orphanhood. I think that no one can be indifferent to this issue: neither neighbors, nor teachers, nor officials. Everything can be corrected if we act in a timely and comprehensive manner.

Here is one of the many, but quite revealing case. I had to deal with a situation where, at first glance, it was necessary to remove the child from the family and deprive the mother of parental rights. But experts always carefully approach such situations, trying to prevent social orphanhood of the child. In this case, a young woman found herself in a difficult life situation. First, parents died one after another, then a protracted lawsuit over the division of the inheritance and the news of the death of a loved one. She was left alone with a child with special health conditions. The police officers and representatives of the prevention system called by the neighbors saw unsanitary conditions in the apartment, an empty refrigerator and a disabled girl, unable to do without outside help. The child was immediately taken to a medical facility, where he received the necessary assistance. The family has been registered accordingly, and certain work has been done. As a result of the measures taken, the family was saved. Later I visited my mother and daughter. Now they are doing well.

Deprivation of parental rights is an exceptional case. When all the possibilities of helping the child and the family have been tried, when you understand that the biological parent, no matter how hard we try, we will not “do good”. As a rule, such children are sent for education in boarding schools. And in order to minimize the time spent by a child in an orphanage, it is necessary to find a foster family for him. But when the foster family also refuses the child, it turns out not just repeated orphanhood, but repeated betrayal. It’s a trauma for the rest of your life. Therefore, it is necessary to work carefully with candidates for foster parents, because they take a child with all its advantages and disadvantages, with its character, with health characteristics. One of my specialties is working with foster families.

– The project “I am a mentor” is operating in the Ryazan region. Tell me, please, what is its essence.

– Yes, the project “I am a mentor” has been operating in the Ryazan region for the second year. I gladly supported the project, and I myself entered it. Its participants are pupils of residential institutions over 12 years old as wards and Ryazan residents over 24 years old as mentors. Psychologists select a couple: an adult-child. Children just need the support of an adult authoritative person. Thanks to this project, already 50 teenagers have their own significant adult in their lives.

“I am a mentor!” – one of the most effective projects for teenagers from orphanages, which helps to find an older friend. Friend for life.

– It’s no secret that sometimes teenagers are very cruel to each other: they bully classmates, disrupt lessons, sometimes it comes to the point that parents demand that a bully be expelled from school. What are the solutions in such situations?

– We must carefully look at all the circumstances, what happened, how to help – both there and there are children. The child does not do everything just like that, you need to get to the bottom – why is this happening? Is he hyperactive? Problems with emotional perseverance? Problems with peers? It is impossible to issue an instant decision – there are children here. You can not hang labels in the heat of the moment.

There have always been school conflicts. Teachers should be, first of all, not indifferent people. Do not hush up if they see that something is happening to the child. They spend a lot of time with these kids, they see them. We need to know: why did the mood change? Family problems? Problems with classmates? What’s the matter? If necessary, tell the guardianship authorities to pay attention to the family, help her in a timely manner.

My mother worked as a kindergarten teacher. And in her group, a boy from a dysfunctional family was caught. The guys laughed at him. And he never made any friends. Nobody accepted it. Then the mother at the matinee gives him the main role in the scene. He played so well that the whole audience laughed. The next day the boy was a hero, and everyone wanted to be friends with him. And someone argues: well, think about it, no one communicates with him. It is necessary to teach children to live in a team, to talk, listen and hear.

Today, every school has a school reconciliation service, which includes a school psychologist, teachers, and high school students. It is a very powerful tool once you learn how to use it. We teach children conflict-free dispute resolution. This knowledge and skill will be very useful in later life.

– How do you feel about the use of mediation in resolving family conflict situations?

– I’m in favor with both hands. This is a very powerful tool. On my initiative, the Family Mediation project is being implemented in the region on the basis of the Center for Family and Childhood OGBUDO. Ryazan residents have the opportunity to receive free professional help in resolving conflicts where the interests of children are affected. Parents and other close relatives who divide children or initiate them into their adult conflicts harm the child without even thinking about it, acting from what they think are good motives. Children are very vulnerable, and such behavior of loved ones can have a negative impact on their mental state and health in general. Every time I try to convey this to those in conflict. I propose to choose a peaceful resolution of disputes in the interests of children.

There was a case when for several years the father did not allow the mother to see his daughter. In fact, there was an irreconcilable war between the parents. But because of the clarification of adult relationships: who is right – who is to blame – the child suffered, first of all. He cares about both mom and dad. And when, finally, the parents agreed to use mediation, sat down at the negotiating table and for the first time in many years calmly talked, then, to their own surprise, they heard each other. The result is a joyful daughter who was able to communicate with both dad and mom.

– Recently, a service for children and adults with disabilities “Social taxi” was launched in the Ryazan region.

– We worked on the “social taxi” project together with the Ministry of Labor and Social Protection of the Ryazan Region. A social taxi is organized to deliver people with limited mobility, including those in wheelchairs, who have health problems, to social infrastructure facilities, including medical organizations, pharmacies, multifunctional centers, educational organizations and sports and recreation facilities.

We managed to take another step towards making life easier for children with disabilities. Now a taxi is available for delivery to residents of Ryazan, Sapozhkovsky, Ryazhsky, Alexander Nevsky, Saraevsky and Ukholovsky districts. But, of course, this service needs to be expanded geographically.

Quite often it is necessary to solve certain issues of support for children with disabilities and their families. This always requires not a formal approach, but a deep and high-quality immersion in the situation. Otherwise, the result will not be achieved here. Often the solution to the problems of young patients is not only medical, but also social and legal. Development of a network of institutions for rehabilitation and early assistance to families with disabled children, equipping rehabilitation organizations with the necessary equipment; training of specialists; the creation of a unified information system is one of the most frequently asked questions.

As a result of constructive interaction, including with the Minister of Labor and Social Protection of the Population of the Ryazan Region, Natalya Valentinovna Suvorova, many socially significant projects have been developed and already implemented in the region in the interests of disabled children and families with children: a family multifunctional center, a social taxi, further formation accessible environment.

– At the end of 2022, you received the VORDI Parental Thanks Award.

– It is a great honor for me to receive such an award. This is an assessment of the work of our entire children’s ombudsman team. The desire and ability to help does not imply the expectation of gratitude. This, in my opinion, is the correct position of a good deed. But sincere gratitude sometimes inspires so much that you want to move mountains, especially if it’s a childish “thank you”.

Children are the most important thing in life. A child must be loved with all his heart and protected with all his might.

Larisa KOMRAKOVA

Photo: Angelica Evdokima’s VKontakte page

SATURDAY and the new heroine of the project of preschoolers – AMINA ALEKSANDROVNA – Kindergarten