Questions child: 9 Cool Questions to Ask Your Kid | Scholastic

Bright Horizons | Answering Your Child’s Toughest Questions

Children are naturally curious about how the world works, which means they ask a lot of questions. Some questions are easier to answer than others, and there’s no one right way to respond. Consider your child’s temperament and developmental level, as well as your family’s values on a given topic. 

Below are a few general suggestions for tackling those tricky questions that make every parent squirm:

• Ask clarifying questions to understand exactly what your child is asking. 
• Offer a simple, straightforward answers. 
• Be honest—it’s okay to admit you feel uncomfortable or don’t know exactly how to respond.
• Be available for follow-up.

Kids’ Questions about Anatomy and Sex

Questions about anatomy and sex can be a challenge, depending on the age of your children and your comfort level with discussing these topics.

Q: “Why doesn’t my sister’s/brother’s body look like mine?” 

A: Most child educators and safety experts agree it’s a good idea to use the correct terms for body parts when you explain to your child about differences in body parts. Especially when your children are young, you can explain “private parts” and what body privacy means: that nobody else should touch them. This is also a good time to let your child know that they should come to you or another trusted adult if anyone does try to touch their bodies.

Q: “Where do babies come from? How did the baby get in your belly?”

A: In a perfect world, talking about sex with our children would be just another topic, like hygiene, math, or sports. We don’t live in a perfect world, however, so conversations about sex can cause a lot of discomfort and anxiety—mostly for the parents. Take a deep breath, and follow these simple tips.

• Ask your child “What do you think?” before answering questions to get a better sense of what is really being asked and what’s likely to be understood. It always helps to understand your child’s questions and current thinking before trying to educate them.
• Tell the truth. If you make up a story about storks or fairies, it will only cause confusion and mistrust later on.
• Avoid too much detail and keep answers short and simple. If your child is not satisfied with your answers, more questions will follow.
• Make conversations matter-of-fact. When discussing body functions and sex your child, treat the conversations as you would any other important topic—calmly, and matter-of-factly. Children are perceptive, and they will be able to tell if you’re uncomfortable.
• Be available. One of the best rules of parenting is to spend relaxed time together and have lots of conversations. Let your child know in words and actions that you are available to offer information and answer questions about sex or anything else.
• Defer when appropriate. If a question about sex comes up in the doctor’s office or in the line at the bank, don’t be afraid to say, “What a good question! Let’s talk about that at home later.” Then, bring it up again at home so your child knows you aren’t avoiding the conversation.

How to Answer Kids’ Philosophical Questions

In some ways, philosophical questions are harder to answer because they’re about existential, abstract, or unknowable topics. For example: 

• What is God? 
• Why do we die? What happens to us when we die? Are you going to die?
• If I’m not allowed to hurt my friends, why is it okay to kill a chicken to eat it?
• What is a war? Am I safe? Will I be attacked?
• Why do some people not have homes?

At the heart of most of these questions are the underlying questions, “Am I safe? Is the world safe?”  Your background and values will determine how you answer these questions for yourself and your child, but what if you’re not sure of the answer? 

• Reflect and open the discussion. Some parents may feel uncomfortable and want to either change the subject or brush the question off with a dismissive remark like: “Never mind. That’s a grown-up question.” Other parents use these tough questions as an opportunity to examine their own beliefs and, depending on the age of their children, discuss these issues as a family. Like with questions about sex, it can be helpful to ask our child, “What do you think?” Not only will it send the message that these thoughts and questions matter, it will signal you are open to discussion.
• Research and collaborate. There are endless books that cover “what do we believe?” questions. Explore the parenting section of your library or bookstore or consult like-minded parents. If you are a religious or spiritual person, you may also want to consult with your spiritual community to find information aimed at answering children’s questions about religion and the afterlife.
• Offer comfort and reassurance. Consider why your child is asking the question. Is it in pursuit of information, comfort, understanding—or all three? Has there been frightening news coverage or has a friend experienced a loss? Children generally want to know 1) why a situation has occurred, 2) what is being done to help or comfort those involved, and 3) how it might affect them. It’s okay to acknowledge that life can be unpredictable and confusing, but try to end on a comforting, solutions-oriented note. For example: “People become homeless for a lot of different reasons, such as because they’re sick or they lost their job. We donate to the homeless shelter, and we keep money in an emergency fund to help keep our family safe.” 

Those tough questions your children ask can give you insight into their fears, challenges, and developmental understanding. They can also spark great conversations that build trust. Don’t worry about getting every answer right. You can revisit a topic more than once. 

More on Tough Conversations with Kids

• Being confident in your parenting approach and style will help you tackle tough questions. 
• Is your child feeling stressed? Help your child relieve stress with these expert tips.
• Learn how building resilience can guide your child through challenging life experiences. 

7 Incredible Benefits of Asking Your Child Great Questions • Emerge Counseling Ministries

The late American radio and television personality, Art Linkletter, captured the hearts of millions of Americans 40 years ago when he tried something on television that no one else was doing — asking children questions. He carved out a niche for himself and drew upon his audience’s fascination by giving children the microphone for a change while the adults sat back…and listened. Bill Cosby followed suit on his similar television shows. Linkletter, sort of the “Oprah” of his generation, summed up his motivation for quizzing kids in his book, Kids Say the Darndest Things!: “There’s a vast gulf between the world of children and our own. And every time we bridge that gulf — even if it’s only for a moment — we recapture some of the freshness and spontaneity that make life worth living.”

Questions are one of the most effective, and perhaps underused, tools found in a parent’s toolbox today. Just five minutes of expressing interest in your child will do more to build your relationship with them than five months of trying to get them interested in you. If you’re like me, however, you find it easy to get stuck in the gear of telling your kids what they should do — telling them how they should do it and when they should — instead of taking the time to ask them meaningful questions. To most of us, it seems parenting means telling, not asking. Despite that tendency, I’m finding I cannot force wisdom upon a child; rather, it is something that must often be drawn out.

Just five minutes of expressing interest in your child will do more to build your relationship with them than five months of trying to get them interested in you.

Without a doubt, parenting does involve imparting. You cannot visit the parenting passages of Deuteronomy 6 or Ephesians 6 without catching the action verbs of child-rearing, such as “impressing,” “loving,” “training,” encouraging, and “comforting.”  However, much of parenting could be better described as, not merely imparting, but drawing — drawing out from within the heart of your child. Questions alone do that best! A great question draws upon openness, honesty, cooperation, and friendship. King Solomon put it this way: “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out” (Prov. 20:5; emphasis mine).

Ambassadors use questions to build bridges of diplomacy between countries oceans apart. Teachers use questions to build bridges of learning to their students. Husbands, to build intimacy with their wives. Managers, to cultivate teamwork and productivity among employees. The wise parent will use questions to bridge the generation divide with their child, whether en route to the nursery school or on the way home from a high school soccer game.

Questions are invitations. As clearly as an invitation opens the door of your house to a friend to attend a birthday party, bridal shower, or backyard barbecue, questions invite people in. They construct an atmosphere of interest that draws upon the hidden resources and needs of the soul.

7 Incredible Benefits

There are at least seven reasons why a parent should always have a ready supply of strategic questions to ask their children:

1. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS SHOWS YOUR CHILD THAT YOU ARE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THEM. It is never enough for a parent to merely say “I love you” or “I really do care about you.” Taking a few moments to consider just what your son or daughter needs to talk about is a great way to practically love them. When a parent cares enough to think through and, with a well-suited question, patiently tap whatever may interest or concern their child, they open more than a conversation, they may open a soul.

2. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS ASSURES YOUR CHILD THAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK AND HOW THEY FEEL. We tend to trust people who are tuned in enough to our needs to be concerned about them and who respect us enough to hold those sacred trusts in confidence. Parents have an unparalleled opportunity to do both. I’ve found that questions strategically aimed at real needs and feelings within my children are virtually impossible for them to ignore; they are irresistible. Once their interest is tapped, they almost have to respond.

3. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS CULTIVATES YOUR CHILD’S OWN SOCIAL SKILLS BY MODELING. Every child, teenager, and adult for that matter is ill-prepared to face any social activity or responsibility in life if they are not equipped with a supply of great questions. This is especially true is our technology-saturated culture. Parents who ask their children great questions not only strengthen their own parenting influence, they strengthen the relationship skills of their kids. Learning how to ask great questions is something that everyone can learn to do. This experience alone can save children of all ages from needless days, if not months and years, of uncertainty, loneliness, and insecurity in social settings.

4. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS ALLOWS YOU TO EXAMINE JUST HOW MUCH OF YOUR TEACHING AND TRAINING AS A PARENT IS TAKING ROOT WITHIN YOUR CHILD. We can spend so much time “pouring into” our children’s lives; it makes sense to take some time to see if they’re actually embracing any of it and in what ways.

5. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS ALLOWS YOU AS A PARENT TO BRING FOCUS TO YOUR TOGETHER TIME WITH YOUR CHILD, RATHER THAN WASTING THAT PRECIOUS TIME.  I find that just as important as securing significant blocks of quality time with my kids, is making sure I seize the spontaneous moments here and there with them that tend to fill up a day.  These bits of time can add up quickly. It helps me to think of them as the “teachable moments” or pockets of together time when I am available and they are hungry to interact. These include…the ride to school in the morning, the last-minute trip to the grocery store, standing in line at a check-out stand, half-time at a football game, tucking them into bed at night, etc.

6. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS GREATLY ASSISTS YOU AS A PARENT IN ACCURATELY DISCERNING THE REAL EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL NEEDS OF YOUR CHILD. It is risky, and probably presumptuous on my part, to assume that I know what my child’s greatest needs are today, as opposed to yesterday or a month ago without asking them questions. Great questions help a parent get a fresh sense of what is going on in their child’s life, their interests, their doubts, their fears, their dreams, and what’s on their minds.

7. ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS CULTIVATES CLOSENESS & CONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN A PARENT AND CHILD. Considerate questions not only draw insights from within a child, they draw a child himself closer to his parent. They slow us down in our much-too-busy lifestyles and build bridges of interest that often turn to feelings of closeness and authentic connection.

Take time today to ask your child a great question.

5 Strategies For Answering Kids’ (Super) Tough Questions : NPR

LA Johnson/NPR

LA Johnson/NPR

I know she died, but when is Grandma coming back?

Why is your skin darker than Mommy’s?

Why do we live here but Daddy doesn’t?

Are you the tooth fairy?

Anyone with kids in their life knows what it’s like to be surprised by a tough question. It can come at any time, often when you least expect it: at breakfast, at bedtime or from the back seat.

We’re parents ourselves, and it’s these questions — and the awkward, knee-buckling panic they induce — that led us to create a new series of parenting guides for NPR’s Life Kit, a family of podcasts dedicated to making your life just a little bit easier.

Life Kit’s podcast, Parenting: Difficult Conversations, with help from Sesame Workshop, is full of research-tested strategies to help you navigate conversations about death, race and other tricky topics. Best of all, we get help from Sesame Workshop’s in-house child development experts. They’re the folks who review every word that comes out of a Muppet’s mouth to make sure it’s as helpful as possible for kids. This year, Sesame Street celebrates its 50th season, so you know they know what they’re doing.

Parents, grandparents, teachers and caregivers are busy. We get it. So we decided to distill some of what we’ve learned so far, no matter the kind of question that comes your way.

1. When you get a tough question, listen for what the child is really asking.

Don’t rush to answer. Pause and ask for clarification. This does a few things. First, it buys you time to choose your words carefully. It also stops you from answering the wrong question.

Parenting: Difficult Conversations

Is It OK To Lie About Santa And The Tooth Fairy?

Rosemarie Truglio, a developmental psychologist and Sesame Workshop’s senior vice president of education and research, says when her son, Lucas, was 8, he came home from school and asked, “Is Santa real?”

She answered with a simple question back to him: “Why are you asking?”

“They may not actually be asking what you think they’re asking,” Truglio says. “You may be about to give them too much information that they don’t want and they’re not ready for. Pause before you respond, and make sure you’re really answering the question with the just-right amount of information that they can handle at the moment.”

It turns out that Lucas was doubting Santa Claus because other kids at school had voiced their skepticism, but, Truglio says, he was looking for reassurance. And thanks to her quick thinking, that’s just what he got.

We’ll underline this point with a quick joke that has made the rounds of the Internet:

“Where does poo come from?” a little boy asks.

“Well, son,” his father says, “food passes down the esophagus by peristalsis. It enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This contracts the protein before waste enters the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo.”

“Wow,” the boy says. “So where does Tigger come from?”

2. Give them facts, but at a pace they can manage.

Whether you’re breaking news about the death of a loved one, a job loss or a serious illness, it’s important to understand that children process information a little bit at a time. That means you should be prepared to revisit the topic, perhaps many times.

Parenting: Difficult Conversations

Death: Talking With Kids About The End

A hospice worker who specialized in talking with children about death gave Truglio this advice: Children take in information the same way they eat an apple. Instead of crunching through the whole fruit in one sitting, they nibble, take breaks, then circle back.

Dave Anderson, director of programs at the Child Mind Institute, a national children’s mental health nonprofit, says sometimes we have to adjust our expectations when delivering heavy news. “A young child moves on fairly quickly.”

Anderson recalls one couple who fretted over telling their son about his diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. “They were worried he would feel the weight of the stigma.” Instead, his response was more like, “OK. Where are we going for dinner?”

This goes for not-so-tough topics too. Once, I (Anya) was talking with my then-6-year-old daughter about seasons and why it’s colder in the winter. I may have been monologuing a bit. My daughter spoke up: “Mama, it’s kind of weird to have an answer without a question.”

3. “That’s a great question. Let’s find out more together.”

This is a good response to have up your sleeve for complex issues: science, history, race, gender, politics, scary incidents in the news or any time a question catches you off guard.

Parenting: Difficult Conversations

Talking Race With Young Children

“We can say, ‘Let’s explore this together, because that question is really a big one,’ ” says Jeanette Betancourt, senior vice president for U.S. social impact at Sesame Workshop. ” ‘Let’s go to the library and let’s look at some books. Let’s search for maybe some films or movies or get recommendations from our teachers or librarians.’ Because not everything has to be in the moment.”

Maybe you don’t like the way you initially answered your child’s question. Don’t worry. You can also go back and ask for a do-over: “I am thinking more about what you asked, and I’d like us to find out more of the answer together.”

This approach gets you off the hook — so you don’t feel like you’re making something up that you might regret later. “We often feel that, as parents, we always have to have the answer in the moment,” says Betancourt. “And the thing is, we don’t. And that’s OK. We’re still good parents. ”

4. Reassure them that they are safe and loved.

Often when kids grapple with a scary or uncertain subject, their questions will have one fundamental motivation: What’s going to happen to me? Will I be safe? Will I be taken care of? Those are the questions you need to answer, even if they aren’t being asked explicitly.

If it’s a school shooting in the news, they want to know whether their own school is safe. You can talk about everything that adults are doing to keep them safe.

If it’s a divorce, they need to hear that both parents still love them and that the split is not their fault. In addition, “both parents talking about consistency and routines would be very helpful,” says Sesame’s Betancourt.

If it’s the death of a loved one, says Truglio, “make sure they know that there are many people in their lives who are like family. So you will always be cared for.”

5. Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to share your emotions.

We adults need to have our own support system — and time — when we deal with hard things.

“Without taking care of ourselves, it’s very difficult to help our children,” says Betancourt.

For example, if your family has to attend a funeral, you can ask a good friend or extended family member to help shepherd your children, in case they need a moment away from the service or in case you, the bereaved, need a moment to yourself.

But that doesn’t mean we grown-ups have to “wall ourselves off in our grief” or other feelings, Truglio says. Her mother died several years ago, and she says she still experiences moments of grief. Recently, she says, she cried in front of her son and didn’t hesitate to explain, “I’m sad because I miss Grandma.”

That simple statement is really helpful for kids, says Anderson of the Child Mind Institute. “We don’t tell parents to suppress emotions. If a parent is feeling emotional, it is actually great for their own child’s emotional functioning for a parent to label and self-disclose. “

Listen to all our Parenting: Difficult Conversations episodes here.

If you like this article, check our other offerings from Life Kit, NPR’s family of podcasts for navigating your life, from personal finances to diet and exercise to raising kids. Sign up for the newsletter to learn more, and follow @NPRLifeKit on Twitter. Email us at [email protected].

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Now that Life Kit is underway, we’re interested in hearing from readers and listeners so we can make future episodes even more useful. Please take this short survey and tell us what you think.

How to answer uncomfortable questions of a child

“Mom, where did I come from?”, “Why are boys and girls different?”, “Why is this uncle like that?”, “What do you have there?” and a million more “What?” “Why?” and why?” we hear every day from our growing children. We answer some questions with ease, while others simply drive us into a dead end, forcing us to blush and breathe heavily.

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From this article you will learn how to competently answer the most tricky questions of children without embarrassment and stress.

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But before we go through the most “uncomfortable” questions, let’s talk about some rules so that next time you don’t get confused, but know what to answer.

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Take a pen and notepad just in case.

5 main rules for answering your child’s uncomfortable questions!

Do not lie

Yes, yes, even if the question is very “uncomfortable”. If a child asks you where he came from, don’t say that you bought him in a store or that a stork brought him. Don’t lose confidence.

Do not give details

Tell the truth without giving details. You can tell a child that he came from the mother’s tummy, but not explain how he got there. Everything has its time.

If you don’t know what to answer, say so

“I don’t know how to answer your question right now. Let’s think together or look for the answer in books or on the Internet.

Do not laugh at the child’s questions

No matter how ridiculous they may seem to you The child learns the world and what he asks is really important to him. Respect his interest and always try to respond.

Be careful and dig deeper

There are questions that hide something more than just curiosity. For example: “Mom, why did you give birth to me?”. Such a question may signal that the child is scared or lacks your attention.

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Therefore, be careful not to miss anything and help in time.

Examples of answers to “uncomfortable” questions

1. Where did I come from?

Age: from 3 years old

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What to answer: You appeared / appeared from my tummy. At first you were small and swam there like a fish. Then you grew up, your stomach felt cramped, and you got out of there.

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For older children, the fertilization process can be explained in more detail. For example, take a book by Don Voorhees “All About It – Quickly and Tastefully” and read together.

2. Why are boys and girls different?

Age: 2 – 4 years old.

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What to answer: This is how nature works. Humans and animals have differences in order to have children when they become adults. But also boys and girls have a lot in common. Let’s think about what we have in common? (or what do you have in common with your dad/mom/brother/sister?)

3. Mom, are you going to die? Will I die too?

Age: 3 – 4 years old.

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What to answer: Yes. All living beings have their own time: plants, animals, people. That’s how nature works. But first we live a long and interesting life. At first we are all small, like you. Then we grow up, study at school, then at the university. And when we become adults, we have a family and children.

You will live a very long and happy life. Do not think about anything and enjoy life.

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Most importantly, stay calm during this conversation. After all, the child feels you and reads your inner state. If you are calm when discussing such topics, then the child will not be afraid of anything.

4. Why is this person like this?

Age: from 3 to 4 years old.

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A child begins to ask such questions when he sees people who are somehow different from him and his parents. At the same time, he can still point his finger and ask loudly so that you answer him as soon as possible.

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What to answer: All people are different. Our appearance is shaped by family genetics and other life circumstances. This person is like this because (find a more accessible explanation so that the child can understand).

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In life you will meet different people, but differences do not mean bad, each of us has our own characteristics and so do you.

5. Why don’t you love my grandmother?

Age: from 4 years old

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A child can ask a similar question if he notices your negative relationship with your mother-in-law or mother-in-law. In this case, do not lie and explain everything honestly.

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What to answer: Adults sometimes swear because their opinions do not agree. Grandma and I don’t get along because (your reason) but that doesn’t affect how grandma treats you. Your grandmother is a good person and loves you very much.

6. Mom, do I want to too? Why can’t I?

Age: from 3 to 4 years old.

This question is about what you or others do that a child should not do. For example, you smoke. The child says: “Mom or dad, what are you doing? I want to try too!” Here it is very important to correctly explain to the child why he is not allowed and why you do not want him to do the same.

What to answer: I smoke. This is a bad habit that I’m trying to get rid of, but I can’t yet. I know it’s bad for my health, so I don’t want you to follow me and hurt yourself. Look what happens to the lungs of a person who smokes (show the picture) – you shouldn’t even try. I do everything to get rid of this habit.

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Do not be lazy and try to talk to the child so that he realizes that smoking is really bad and you should not do it.

7. Why am I like this / like this … ?

Age: This question can be asked by a child of any age who goes to kindergarten or school.

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Most often these are questions about their appearance, speech and features. And they arise in cases where other children focus on this.

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What to answer: You are the way nature made you. You are unique, like every person. We are all different and each has its own characteristics, but this is not good and not bad. It just has to be. Everyone will have their own opinion about your appearance and this is also normal. Just like you can like someone and someone not.

8. Why don’t we live in the same big house as our neighbors?

Age: from 4 years old

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Answer: We don’t need such a big house yet. When you have a brother or sister, we will think about moving, but for now we have enough space here.

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Do not tell your child about the lack of funds and do not load the little brain with adult problems. Grow up and understand everything. But at the same time, memorize such questions to teach your child financial literacy.

9. Why do you and dad fight?

Age: from 3 years old

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What to answer: It happens when people talk, they disagree with each other and start arguing. It happens to me and my dad too. But even if we quarrel, we still make up later, because we love each other and you.

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In such situations, it is important to let the child know that he is not to blame and is not the cause of your quarrel.

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Always listen carefully to your children, be sincere with them and always answer their questions. Even if you have had some negative experience in your life related to this or that issue, learn to answer in a timely manner – calmly, honestly and competently. And then your child will always turn to you for advice, and will not seek outside help.

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Read also:

How not to become your child’s enemy!

No time to play with a child: how to get rid of guilt?

What do teenagers want today? Interview with student Kidskey

The results of the contest “Actual issues of ensuring and protecting the rights of the child” have been summed up / News / Press-center / Menu / Altai branch of the RANEPA

November 22, 2021

the work of students (cadets, listeners) of educational institutions of higher education “Actual issues of ensuring and protecting the rights of the child”, dedicated to the World Children’s Day. The competition was held jointly with the Commissioner for Children’s Rights in the Altai Territory with the support of the Garant Information Center. The experts of the competition were Olga Kazantseva Commissioner for Children’s Rights in the Altai Territory, Ph. D.; Antonina Sorokina , Head of the Department of Theoretical-Historical and State-Legal Disciplines of the Altai Branch of the RANEPA, Candidate of Law, Associate Professor; Rustam Galiev , Associate Professor of the Department of Theoretical-Historical and State-Legal Disciplines of the Altai Branch of the RANEPA, Candidate of Law, Associate Professor; Elena Titova , Associate Professor of the Department of Theoretical-Historical and State-Legal Disciplines of the Altai Branch of the RANEPA, Ph.D.

In 2021, representatives of educational organizations from Moscow, Yekaterinburg and Barnaul took part in the competition.

Works on the subject of research were grouped into nominations and evaluated by each expert according to the specified criteria, among them: relevance of the topic; scientific novelty of the work; use of empirical data and their interpretation; degree of solution of the goals and objectives set by the author; creativity, originality of methods and methods used in the research.

According to the total points of assessments, the places were distributed as follows:

In the nomination “Modern problems of protecting the rights of the child in telecommunication networks”:

• Barnaul;
• 2nd place – Ekaterina Zhalybina, 3rd year student of the Law Institute of Altai State University, Barnaul;
• 3rd place – Sofia Kovalenko, 3rd year student of the Law Institute of Altai State University, Barnaul.