Toddler fear of bath: The Naked Truth About Bath Time Fears

The Naked Truth About Bath Time Fears

Photo by Rob and Julia Campbell / Stocksy

Your little water baby absolutely loves the bath, every day gladly bounding into the tub and splashing and playing with glee. And then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, they refuse to go anywhere near the tub: “No bath! No, no, no, no, no!”

A fear of bathing (called ablutophobia) and water, it turns out, is a very common toddler phobia, and usually shows up around ages 1-2. There’s a reason for that: During these years of rapid brain growth, toddlers develop what seems like a hyperawareness of their surroundings. Their brains are literally lighting up with new information.

As a result, things like toilet flushes, thunder, doctors’ medical equipment, and drains that suck all the water away can be overwhelming to your child and sound and appear, well, terrifying.

That’s why it’s important to treat the fear of bathing with empathy and care, even though this can be a challenging behavior to work through. Bath-time fears can last weeks or even months, leaving many parents wondering if they’re raising a lifelong landlubber.

Fear not: This too shall pass. Your child is not experiencing a major anxiety disorder. You’ll splash together again! Here’s how to manage this period of time with positivity (and keep your kid clean, too).

1. Try to Uncover the “Why” Behind Your Toddler’s Phobia

Identifying the source of the fear can help you find ways to address the issue. For example, if your child reacts fearfully when you’re filling the tub, the sound of rushing water may be the culprit. If they have a phobia of being pulled down the drain, try unplugging the drain and have them observe how their rubber ducky stays in the bath even when the water disappears—or simply wait to drain the bath until after they’ve gone to sleep.

2. The Washcloth Is Your Friend

While you may not understand it, the fear your child is feeling is real, which is why you don’t want to force them to get in the tub. We promise: This fear will eventually pass, and your child will want to bathe again. Until then, you can use washcloths, warm water, and a little mild soap to get their face, hands, and diaper area clean.

3. Don’t Worry About Bathing Every Day

When it comes to babies, “…bathing a couple of times a week is often enough,” according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. You’re off the hook as your children age as well: The American Academy of Dermatology suggests that children ages 6 to 11 only need a bath once or twice a week unless they’re especially dirty, sweaty, or have a skin condition that requires more bathing.

4. Try a Smaller Bath

Instead of the tub, you might go back to using a smaller plastic container of warm water (with bubbles), and encourage them to put a few toys and their feet in it. Give them praise and show excitement for any steps they do take, even if they only dip their toes in!

5. Get in the Tub Yourself

We love this idea from Dr. William Sears, who suggests you show your child how fun bath time really is by taking a bath yourself! Leap in, play with their toys, blow bubbles, and have a rollicking good time. If your child wants to join you, make them feel secure by holding them on your lap. Sears also recommends limiting the actual washing “until you’ve gotten them used to thinking of bath time as fun again.”

6. Bubble Bath, Toys, and Other Enticements

This may sound obvious, but try using new toys or the staple of bath time—bubble bath—to entice them back into the tub, or try these fun and easy science activities. The goal is to help them realize there’s nothing to be afraid of by making bath time a real treat!

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Is Your Toddler Scared of Bath Time?

Have a toddler scared of bath time all of a sudden? You’re not alone. Discover effective techniques to help make taking a bath easy and fun.

What is going on?! I thought. My 2 year old had always loved bathtime and never resisted hopping into the bath tub.

But then bath time became more and more of a power struggle. His aversion started off innocently enough—he’d dawdle and take his time to head to the bathroom, perhaps shed a few tears the first few nights at the start of the bedtime routine.

Except next thing I knew, his whimpers and tears morphed into full-blown tantrums and meltdowns. He had a complete fear of water, that even the sight of a washcloth or sound of the water would send him running out of the room.

I had no idea what could’ve caused it. No particular swimming or bath time episode left him traumatized to even touch the soapy water. It also didn’t help that this was the stage when tantrums were becoming more and more common around our house. To have our relaxing bath time turn into a nightmare was more than I could handle.

Table of Contents

How to help a toddler scared of bath time

Maybe you can relate.

Bath time could’ve been one of your toddler’s favorite parts of the day, but now he suddenly screams the minute you sit him in the big tub. You’ve tried everything—bubble bath, sitting with him on your lap, even bribing with stickers. Nope—he still wants nothing to do with bath time.

You know he can only skip so many baths before he starts to stink, but you also hate getting him cleaned while he’s screaming all the while.

I hear you, friend. There’s nothing more overwhelming than daily tasks you dread because of the inevitable tantrum. For days and weeks, I struggled with the same worries with my son, and my patience was waning.

Thankfully, I tried a few tactics to ease him back into the water and stop feeling scared of the bath. These go beyond the usual tips (the ones that don’t work in the long-run). Instead, I focused more about making bath time pleasant and stress-free, and showing plenty of empathy and comfort for his emotions.

By doing just these simple tips, we completely turned bath time fears around, and he began to enjoy splashing in the tub once again.

Take a look at these tips to help your toddler stop feeling scared of bath time:

1. Place your toddler into an empty tub

Could a tub full of water feel overwhelming to your toddler? See if he takes to bathing if you place him in the tub with no water at first.

You see, he might be refusing the bath when he sees the tub already filled with water. The thought of dipping his body into a pool of water can feel intimidating, whereas an empty tub can feel far safer.

Once he’s sitting inside, slowly turn on a little water in a gentle trickle, allowing it to gradually fill the tub. Even better: don’t feel like you have to fill the tub to a high level—you don’t need much to wash him up.

Free resource: Exhausted and feeling guilty from constantly losing your temper with him? Even if it seems like you’ve tried just about everything, you can stop losing your temper, if you start from the inside out and change from within.

In How to Finally Stop Losing Your Temper, I’ll show you how to reflect on your habits and triggers, and what you can do when you feel that rush of anger. Grab your PDF below—at no cost to you. You’ll also get my newsletters, which parents say they LOVE:

“Thank you so much for sharing. It makes some of us feel like we are not alone when we hear other moms in similar situations. Love your work!” -Christine

2. Keep as many clothes on your toddler as possible

Many toddler start resisting bath time even before they’ve gotten undressed and into the tub. Even removing clothes could already be a power struggle for the both of you. (Hugging his arms tight to prevent you from removing his shirt, for instance).

Instead, try removing only his pants at first as you stand him in the tub and turn on the water. Then, as he feels more comfortable, take off his diapers or undies. As the water gets higher, start removing his shirt until he’s finally undressed and ready to sit in the water.

By slowly removing his clothes in stages, he’s better able to adjust to the water and transition from clothed to undressed.

3. Get the water temperature right

The transition from feeling dry and warm in regular clothes to undressed and sloshing in water can be a huge change for your toddler. Keep him comfortable by making sure the water is at a warm, soothing temperature to keep him comfortable.

You also might want to turn a heater on in the bathroom during cooler weather so he stays warm while he undresses and bathes. Then, during summer months, try for a cooler bath with the door open, especially on a hot day.

4. Tie in your toddler’s interests

My toddler was fascinated with fountains and waterfalls. Even if we were to visit the zoo, he’d be more interested in watching the fountains than observing the elephants and zebras.

So, I decided to tie in his fascination with fountains and waterfalls with bath time, hoping he’d calm down enough.

Rather than turning the bath on high and shutting it off once the tub was filled, I turned the faucet on at a trickle and said, “Look! It’s like your own waterfall!” I then continued to bathe him with the “waterfall,” pouring water over his head.

Find your child’s interests and use them to your advantage. If he loves boats, add a few toy boats into the bath. If he’s been interested in cooking, bring a few plastic cups and spoons he can use to pour.

The more you can tie his interests into bath time, the more motivated he can be to bathe and even enjoy his time.

5. Introduce bath toys and books

Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links, which means I will earn a commission—at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase.

There’s nothing like toys—old and new—to make bath a fun time again.

A new set of bath toys can focus his attention less on his phobia of bathing and more on his curiosity. Or introduce current water-safe toys empty Easter eggs or building blocks into the tub, adding a different spin to playing with his toys.

And play with him to make bath time even more interactive—blow bubbles, play with his rubber ducks, or squeeze a sponge over his head. For the ultimate fun, make bath time a new experience he doesn’t get to do any other time. 

Here are a few toys we used and loved:

• Bath crayons or bath paint
• Alphabet and number foam toys
• Stacking cups
• Squirt animal toys

Tip: Make sure to store bath toys in a bath caddy like this one. It’ll keep mold from forming and save space in the tub.

Take a look at these bath time books.

6. Use your hands instead of a washcloth

One thing I tried that I was so surprised to work so well was simply ditching the washcloth.

For some reason, my toddler resisted less when I used my hands to suds the soap and wash him all over instead of the usual washcloth. Perhaps hands are gentler, or he enjoyed the skin-to-skin contact and massage, or that it’s one less bath prop to upset him.

Either way, see if ditching the washcloth and using your hands to suds the shampoo and soap will do the trick for you.

7. Acknowledge your toddler’s fears

As frustrating and unreasonable as your toddler’s emotions might be, he feels afraid of the bath, despite all your reassurances. After all, toddlers are still trying to understand our world. It’s not unusual for them to truly believe they’ll get sucked into the drain, for instance.

That’s why it’s easy to assume their complaints are yet another protest or act of defiance. But avoid the mistake of brushing aside your toddler’s emotions when he acts up, and instead address his fear of bathing.

Let’s say his fears stem from water, where even a splash on his arm would easily send him crying. Address his fears by highlighting the positives, like how water cleans our bodies and makes sure we don’t get sick.

Or let’s say he’s afraid of getting sucked down the pipes. Explain how only water goes down the drain, showing him how even his small toys stay in the tub.

Read more about why we shouldn’t brush aside children’s emotions.

8. Make bath time a positive experience

Are you tense and stressed at bath time as you anticipate another tantrum… or are you relaxed and calm? Kids will notice these behaviors. After all, can you imagine trying to enjoy a bath when you’re fighting with your mom about taking one in the first place?

Instead, enjoy the experience from the get go. Sing silly songs, carry your toddler like a flying airplane into the tub, have him wear goggles, and make water play fun. And above all, relax your face and body language—the more you show that bathing is normal and fun, the more likely he’ll follow your lead.

Conclusion

Fighting with your toddler about taking a bath is a challenge for even the most patient mom, especially about a task you need to do every day.

But as you can see, you have several options to try to help him take to the bath once more, even if it feels like you’ve tried everything else.

Start with simple tricks like placing him into an empty tub, keeping his shirt on, or using your hands instead of a washcloth. Make sure the temperature is right and suits the season you’re in. Tie in his interests, including introducing new (and old) toys into the tub.

Acknowledge his fears instead of brushing them aside—he genuinely feels afraid even if his fears seem petty. And finally, make bath time a positive experience, since he’s more likely to follow your lead and learn that there truly is nothing to be afraid.

After a few days of applying these methods, my toddler resumed his normal bath time fun and the fears disappeared. We still continued several methods, such as the trickling water, turning the heater on, and playing with the new bath toys.

No doubt, his bath time terrors were one of the most challenging chapters. While I’ve learned plenty, I was glad when they were finally gone and bath time was fun once again.

p.s. Check out Peep and Egg: I’m Not Taking a Bath by Laura Gehl to help your child feel more comfortable taking a bath:

Get more tips:

• 9 Useful Techniques for Dealing with Anxiety in Young Children
• THIS Is Why Your Child Is Testing You
• Help Your Child WANT to Behave
• 7 Proven Strategies to Handle Bedtime Tantrums

Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and grab How to Finally Stop Losing Your Temper below—at no cost to you:

What to do if your child is afraid of bathing: 7 tips for parents

The fear of bathing appears for a reason: the child swam in amniotic fluid for 9 months, so water is a familiar and comfortable environment for him. But if the bathroom scares the baby, then bathing went wrong and left unpleasant memories.

Fear of water in a child under one year old

If the newborn is afraid of bathing, the reason is related to the first experience. Perhaps the water in the bathroom was too cold or hot. Just imagine: for the first time you descend into a pond, and there is boiling water. Surely you will be afraid to swim there again. And the child is immersed there again, despite the protests. Of course he will be uncomfortable!

Another option is that the baby accidentally went under water with his head or drank water. Or the shampoo got into the eyes – even adults do not like it. Or the baby became afraid when he heard the loud sound of water from the tap in the bathroom. He cannot express his feelings in words, so he is capricious and cries.

At older ages, things are different. From 6 months, the child perceives what is happening more consciously, chooses his favorite toys and people, shows irritation or joy. During this period, he may show a fear of bathing. Do not worry or get angry: it is important to accept the situation and calmly deal with it.

Try to remember how the last bathing in the bath took place. Maybe because of this the child is afraid? Possible reasons:

• The child is hurt or injured. By 6 months, he becomes much more mobile, tries to reach for colorful objects and may involuntarily hit.
• You have changed the flow or temperature of the water.
• He did not like washing his hair, and he was clearly afraid of this procedure.
• He swallowed water – dived deep or opened his mouth while rinsing the ladle. Remember if the baby coughed while bathing?
• While bathing, the child heard some kind of conflict: newborns are especially sensitive to the emotions of their parents and are afraid of scandals.
• After the water treatment, you did not check the ears, and water has accumulated there.

Fear of water in a child from one year old

Fear in older babies can manifest itself even after a year. Why is that, because he should have gotten used to it a long time ago? It’s simple: any uncomfortable procedure – and the child is afraid to swim. The reasons are the same: changes (temperature, bathing time), the appearance of a new washcloth, shampoo that got into the eyes, bathing against will or a bruise. Also, the baby is afraid to swim alone, for example, if you have moved away from the bathroom somewhere.

Such fear can turn into a phobia, because of which, at a conscious age, the child will begin to be afraid of water. What to do? You need to quickly find the cause and overcome fear. You should not show excessive perseverance and aggressiveness – unless, of course, the baby is naughty. This happens at three years old: children are probing boundaries and learning to manipulate. The main thing is to calmly say that you can’t do without bathing in the bath, and not give up.

Safety regulations

There are a few rules that will help not provoke fear in the child and make bathing enjoyable.

• Put only a small amount of water into the bath: remember that the level will rise when the child is immersed.
• Adjust the water temperature: the norm is 36-37°C. To do this, it is better to purchase a special thermometer.
• Do not add hot water. Babies have very sensitive skin, and what seems warm to us, they feel almost like boiling water.
• Buy a slide, bath chair or tub with a hammock. They will come in handy until the baby learns to sit. The child will be securely settled in the bathroom, and the mother will redeem him without outside help.
• In a large bathtub, it is better to purchase a rubber mat so that the baby can bathe calmly, without slipping or falling.
• Choose baby shampoos labeled “No Tears” to avoid irritating the eyes. It is not necessary to wash your hair every day: two to three times a week will be enough.
• Do not leave your child alone in the bath. First, he is afraid. And secondly, a couple of seconds is enough to choke even in a small amount of water.
• Don’t swim for more than 10 minutes.
• Lower the baby into the water gradually: first the legs, then the body. Let him get used to the water, touch it with his palms and understand that he was afraid in vain.
• After bathing, wrap the baby in a towel and let it rest.

Ways to overcome fear

Babies quickly forget negative impressions, so sometimes it’s worth taking a break from bathing. At this time, you can use the shower or wipe the skin with wet wipes. After a few days, the baby will forget his fears and enjoy immersing himself in the bath.

Sometimes the baby just does not like the situation in the bathroom. Or the child is involuntarily afraid because he associates it with an unpleasant procedure. Try moving the bath to another place and see the result.

Another method is to take baths with one of the parents for a while. Next to the closest people, the baby relaxes and feels protected. Just before this, mom or dad needs to take a hygienic shower.

Try washing dishes with your baby. Children love to imitate adults, so they happily agree. The child will feel contact with water, understand that it is safe, and calmly react to bathing.

Turn on some nice music in the bathroom. Let the mother speak with the baby in a gentle calm voice, tell him poems and nursery rhymes. Communicate with the child, ask whether to add water to him, pour up to his knees or a little higher. Do not force things: even if he is used to partial immersion, this is already a great achievement.

Make swimming fun and exciting. Buy toys: let them be boats, fish, rubber ducks. Play with your baby, show that toys are not scary, but fun.

Take a basin and pour some water into it. Lower the toys, throw pebbles or rings to the bottom. Tell the child that this is a small sea, think of what kind of inhabitants live there. Let the baby get objects from the bottom: this will reduce the fear of water and contribute to the development of fine motor skills.

Bath products

Another way to overcome the fear of the bath is to turn bathing into a game! Bathing, especially after a year of life, is not just a hygiene and care procedure, but a water adventure for a child and his parents. Arrange fun games with fruit foam or make a foam mohawk for your baby. Bathe and blow soap bubbles: it pleases both children and adults.

Safe bath products for babies up to 1 year old

• Use shampoos and gels marked “No Tears”. They do not sting the eyes and do not cause irritation.
• Look for hypoallergenic products (there is a note about this on the package): they do not cause unwanted reactions and are suitable even for babies with sensitive skin.
• Look for packages labeled “Pediatrician Recommended” to indicate that the product has successfully passed clinical trials, does not contain hazardous substances and is completely safe for the child.

Head to Toe Foam Shampoo

Head to Toe Foam Shampoo with aloe extract and rice milk will make bathing fun and enjoyable. The product can be used for bathing, shampooing and as a bath foam. Build foam castles with your little one and have fun!

The foam does not sting the eyes and is suitable for babies from the first days of life. Rice milk nourishes the skin and makes the hair soft.

Bath foam with string

Bath foam with a string has a soothing effect and gently cleanses the baby’s skin thanks to the rice milk in the composition. The tool does not dry the skin and is well suited for daily use at any age.

Bathing foam “Bayu-Bayushki”

Bathing foam “Bayu-Bayushki” is suitable for a baby from 6 months. It gently cleanses baby’s skin and creates a gentle lather. The magical aroma of lavender sets the baby up for a sound sleep. Hypoallergenic product gently cares for the skin.

Try to make as much foam as possible to fill the entire tub. And then play the game: “hide” the toys under water and show the baby again. So the baby will be carried away by the game, forget about fear and love to take baths.

Try to make as much foam as possible to fill the entire tub. And then play the game: “hide” the toys under water and show the baby again. So the baby will be carried away by the game, forget about fear and love to take baths.

Safe bathing products for children from one year old

After a year of life, the fidget becomes more independent and often wants to imitate adults, choosing a shower instead of the usual bath. Cream-gels Raspberry Cloud and Apricot Island with a delicate aroma are suitable for any kind of bathing.

The product gently cleanses children’s skin and forms a soft creamy foam. Thanks to wheat proteins and raspberry or apricot extract, the foam leaves a feeling of hydration and softness.

These cream-gels will come in handy during a quick shower, and for foamy games in the bath. They do not sting the eyes and do not cause tears! And a large package that lasts for a long time will definitely please parents.

Honey melon foam-gel with avocado oil gently cares for sensitive skin and does not dry it out. The soft aroma of melon and pleasant airy foam will please the baby and soothe him. The child will definitely want to make an unusual hairstyle: horns or a “hat”! Then the fear of swimming will definitely go by the wayside.

Special tools

Also, special devices will help get rid of fears. A slide is suitable for a child up to six months: it will be interesting and convenient for him, and his mother will not have to hold the baby in her arms. Slides are made of foam rubber, flannel, plastic (the most reliable option) and in the form of a hammock: it is attached to the edges of the bath and resembles a rocking chair. Some even have straps to secure the baby.

For babies from 4 to 6 months, a bathing circle that is worn around the neck is suitable. The baby will confidently stay in the water, and it will become easier for parents to bathe him. With a circle, the baby can even be allowed into a large bath. Some models come with rattles, so it becomes even more interesting. He splashes, moves his arms and legs, splashes out energy. This develops muscles and allows the baby to sleep better after bathing. And over time, the child will remember how to stay on the water, and learn to swim faster than their peers.

The main thing in all cases is to treat the process with patience. Sometimes the fear does not go away right away or something may not please the baby. But when loving and caring parents are nearby, who joyfully play and make foam hairstyles with the child, it is much easier to overcome fears.

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5 ways to help your baby overcome fear and love water

The baby can be bathed soon after discharge from the hospital, as soon as the umbilical cord falls off. At first, parents can be very worried, because the child cries, even when they change clothes. What will happen during the first bath? Today we will tell you how to make sure that the child is not afraid of swimming, but loves this important procedure with all his heart. Our material was prepared jointly with pediatrician Polina Alexandrovna Kizino.

Conquer your fear

“Fear of the first bath may be due to the large space in the bathroom, as well as the insecurity of parents. Keep in mind that the first experience is always exciting, but everything should be in moderation,” says pediatrician Polina Kizino .

The child reads the parental message. He feels especially strongly whether his mother is worried, with whom until recently he had one life for two. If you are worried, ask for advice, study the information, calm down. Since you need to bathe a newborn every day, over time you will become a professional!

Prepare in advance everything your baby will need after bathing: clean clothes, diaper, diaper cream or spray, towel. Bathe your newborn with a helper. Perhaps, in such a situation, dad’s strong and confident hands are better suited for bathing a child, but everything is individual. And one more little tip: sing a funny song or talk sweetly to the baby. Many children are distracted by a calm familiar voice and are not afraid.

Come up with a ritual

Think of a ritual that will always precede bathing. For example, you can turn on music, arrange air baths for your child and, gently stroking him, sing songs or do a light massage. You can even turn on the same music so that the baby understands that something pleasant is about to begin. However, all these rituals are relevant only when the child does not have a panic fear of swimming, that is, he is already used to it being fun, mom is happy, dad is singing, everyone is calm.

It would not be superfluous to arrange a bath every day at about the same time. We are not talking about clear limits, but it is better that the difference in bathing time from day to day is no more than half an hour.

Another advice from the pediatrician: “This applies to the smallest babies in the first months of life – it is advisable to stay with them for at least 30-40 minutes after feeding in order to reduce the risk of spitting up.”

Create the right bathing conditions

Should the water be boiled?

Of course you know: no. But if where you live, the water is very hard or you are not sure of its good quality, then you can boil the bathing water for the first two months.

What should be the water temperature for the first baths?

“The water temperature for a newborn should be approximately equal to the mother’s body temperature (about 37°C), as these are the most familiar conditions for him. Then you can gradually reduce the temperature by 0.5 degrees, paying attention to the reaction of the baby – there should be no discomfort and anxiety, ”says Polina Kizino.

It is necessary to control the water temperature with special safety devices. For example, the NUK Ocean thermometer is filled with pure rapeseed oil, a natural product that will not cause any harm even if it spills for any reason.

The temperature in the bathroom should be 28 degrees – this will reduce stress when the child is taken out of the water and wrapped in a towel to dry the skin.

Should I add burdock, chamomile or other herbs to the water?

Everything is individual here: herbs dry the skin, can cause an allergic reaction, so use them only after consulting a doctor.

How big should a bath be?

“Bathing in a large bath or in a baby bath is the choice of parents. Baby baths are usually more comfortable for the parent’s back, but in an ordinary bath there is more room for swimming, ”replies pediatrician Polina Kizino. One thing is clear: if you don’t have a small tub, don’t buy it. Try the option with a large bathroom, and then orient yourself according to the situation – it’s never too late to buy.

Choose bath products

Polina Alexandrovna Kizino notes: “As for bath products, you should use only those that indicate that they can be used from birth. It is desirable to give preference to products of time-tested manufacturers.

When choosing products for bathing a newborn, you need to be extremely vigilant: the product must be with a neutral level of acidity for the skin, that is, pH at 5.5, so as not to irritate or dry out the delicate skin of the baby, it should also not contain preservatives and dyes, as little fragrance as possible and no mineral oil.

In any case, the first use of the product should be carried out with caution. If the child is prone to allergies, try washing a small area on the baby’s hand with this product or gel to make sure that there will be no reaction.

We recommend the hypoallergenic products of the German brand Bübchen, which has been manufacturing baby skin care products for over 50 years. Bathing gels and products, soaps, shampoos and creams from Bübchen have long been the favorites of many mothers, because they do not dry or irritate the skin, with them the baby feels comfortable both during and after bathing.