Sleeping at daycare: My Baby Won’t Nap at Daycare! What Should I Do?

My Baby Won’t Nap at Daycare! What Should I Do?

A mom named Amy is struggling with her daughter who won’t nap at daycare. She writes:

Luckily my 8 month old daughter is sleeping through the night now. I am a working mom and not at home with my baby during the week to nap coach her. She is at a larger daycare center and basically when she’s tired, they put her down, when she’s hungry they feed her. I never really know what I’m going to get when I pick her up.

My baby won’t nap at daycare because there are always babies crying, people talking, kids all over the place etc. She is very distracted and only takes cat naps, never for more than 30 minutes at a time. I had them move her crib away from the center of the action, but it hasn’t helped. She has been there for 4 months and I would hate to change her to another place. I really like where she is, just not the baby sleep problem. What advice can you give to working mom’s on the nap subject?  Amy

Amy’s problem is not uncommon! Here are some things she can do in partnership with her daycare:

• Share an age-appropriate nap schedule
• Get the naps any way they can
• Fill her “sleep tank”
• Get better naps on weekends

Share a Sleep Schedule with Daycare

Let them know all you have accomplished with her night sleep and how she naps well on the weekends according to this schedule (hopefully that is true). Talk to them about meshing their nap schedule with your child’s sleep windows. Share your knowledge of sleep science and the importance of good, restorative naps!

• 7:00 to 7:30 a.m. Wake-up. Upon waking, nurse or bottlefeed and give solids.
• 9:00 or 9:30 a.m. Morning nap, one and a half to two hours. Upon waking, nurse or bottlefeed and give solids.
• 12:30 or 1:00 p.m. Afternoon nap, one and a half to two hours. Upon waking, nurse or bottlefeed.
• 3:30–4:00 p.m. (depending on previous naptime).
• Optional third nap, about forty-five minutes to an hour.
• 5:00 or 5:30 p.m. Nurse or bottlefeed and give solids.
• 6:00–6:30 p.m. Start bath and bedtime preparations, which may include an additional bottle or nursing.
• 7:00–7:30 p.m. Bedtime

Want to know more about schedules?
Read: 6 Month Sleep Schedules – Your Six to Nine-Month-Old

Fill the “Sleep Tank”

Ask your provider to make sure that your child meets the age-appropriate amount of daytime sleep no matter what it takes. If, for example, she generally rocks your baby to sleep, then have her continue to do this when putting your baby down for naps. Tell her to rock her back to sleep if she wakes before 45 minutes so that she’s not having disaster naps all day long.

As long as you don’t rock her to sleep during the day or night, this can work. If your caregiver is putting your baby down awake for the nap but then she wakes after 30 minutes, ask them if they can go to her and reassure her back to sleep.

When naps are too short, everyone is cranky!
Read: Naps Are Too Short? It’s Time to Nap Coach My Baby!

Ask your provider to make sure that your child meets the age-appropriate amount of daytime sleep no matter what it takes.

Won’t Nap at Daycare? Use Weekends

If you are putting her down asleep for naps then work on putting her down awake and nap coach as outlined in “The Sleep Lady’s Good Night, Sleep Tight”.

When you’re fairly confident that your child has learned to get herself to sleep, talk to your caregiver again. Explain what your baby has accomplished, and ask her to work with you by putting your baby down awake for naps within the appropriate nap windows and reassuring her when she wakes from too short of a nap. Maybe they can just rock or hold her for a shorter period of time and then pat and “sh-sh” her to sleep, instead of rocking her until she’s totally out.

Is it time to nap coach?
Read: Naps, Naps, and Naps! When, Why, and How to Get Your Baby to Nap

Additional Tips for Daycare

• Perhaps your provider would be willing to put her down in the sleep area a few minutes before she brings in the rest of the babies.
• Bring in a sound screen or white noise maker and ask if they can use that over by the cribs where the babies are sleeping.
• When you pick up your daughter always ask for a nap report — what time did she sleep and for how long. If the sleep tank is low then let your baby take a snooze in the car ride home to help her make it to bedtime not too overtired.

Daycare providers are usually willing to help you do what’s best for your baby. Good luck!

Author: Kim West

My name is Kim West, and I’m the mother of two beautiful girls, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been a practicing child and family therapist for more than 21 years, and the creator of the original gentle, proven method to get a good night’s sleep for you and your child.
My sleep journey began when I started experimenting with gently shaping my daughter’s sleep by not following the conventional wisdom at the time. After having success (and then more success with my second daughter!), I began helping family and friends and my step-by-step method spread like wildfire, exactly like an excellent night of sleep for a tired parent should!

Related Posts

Six Tips to Keep the Sleep While Transitioning Back to Daycare

Kelly Murray

January 21, 2021

Baby Sleep, Sleep Schedule, Toddler Sleep, Sleep Tips, Sleep Success, Baby Tips

Kelly Murray

January 21, 2021

Baby Sleep, Sleep Schedule, Toddler Sleep, Sleep Tips, Sleep Success, Baby Tips

One of the side benefits of the COVID-19 restrictions was that it really allowed families who were focused on improving their kiddos’ sleep habits to clear their schedule, hunker down, and get their children in a really good napping routine. With the extra time and attention at home, they were able to follow the age appropriate wake windows and schedule — which is absolutely key when you’re working on improving naps — and it’s what’s going to lead to those nice long juicy chunky naps that everyone desires.

Now that the restrictions are starting the lift and daycares are opening again, I’m hearing from my former clients, current clients, and community members that they’re worried all of their hard work will be completely derailed as soon as they send their kiddos back to daycare. And that is a valid concern! But here is the good news: even though naps at daycare are probably never going to be as good as they are at home, there is still plenty that you can do and control to help support your kiddo in taking the best possible naps that they can in the daycare environment.

I want you to be able to sustain those gains, parents. So today, I’m sharing with you my

Six Tips to Keep the Sleep While Transitioning Back to Daycare.

Tip #1

Communicate With Your Daycare Provider

This is also the most important tip of all. Remember, they are your partner in caring for your child and they have a vested interest in your child napping well. Because kids who are good nappes are well-rested, happier, and easier to take care of. So first, ask if it’d be possible to do a physical tour of the space in which your kiddo is sleeping. Now I know that may not be possible due to Covid restrictions, but it doesn’t hurt to ask, right? If that’s not possible, ask if they could show you via a virtual meeting. Maybe through their phone or computer. And if they’re not open to that, I’m sure they will at least be open to having a phone conversation about their policies and procedures surrounding naps and to talk to you more about your child’s sleeping environment.

Tip #2

Ask About Bringing Items From Home

When talking to your daycare provider, ask them if you’re able to bring in items from home to help replicate your kiddo’s at-home napping environment. Because if you can bring in these comforts from home and try to mimic the environment that they’re used to, they’re going to feel more comfortable at daycare and be in a better position to take a better nap. These items might include: a lovey, a sleep sack, a sound machine, or even a crib sheet. The closer you can get to their ideal environment, the better. Again, this may not be possible due to restrictions, especially during the pandemic, the daycare has, but it never hurts to ask.

Also, you may find that your child is sleeping in a well-lit area, which is pretty standard at daycares. A lot of state governments mandate that the lights at daycare must remain on at all times, even during naps. So if you find that your kiddo is sleeping in an area that’s more well-lit than another, ask if they could be moved maybe into a corner or to a crib that’s not right underneath a light or window. If your kiddo’s sleeping in a Pack ‘n Play, see if you could bring in the Slumberpod. I absolutely love the Slumberpod. It’s a canopy that you put over a Pack ‘n Play and it creates a pitch black environment. (PS: You can use code KELLYMURRAY10 to receive $20 off your Slumberpod at checkout.)

Tip #3

Ask About Nap Scheduling

Find out how your daycare provider will be scheduling your child’s naps. Ask if there is a strict schedule that they abide by or if you’re able to have a say in the schedule they use. A lot of daycares will be open to you providing your child’s schedule. If that’s the case, I would put it in writing and deliver it to the daycare well in advance.

Tip #4

Talk to Your Daycare About How You Put Your Child Down to Sleep and Handle Short Naps

This is especially important if you put your kiddo down independently without a prop. You don’t want them to start using props, such as rocking or feeding to sleep, because that could jeopardize all of your hard work. Also, if you follow a naptime routine, I would talk to your daycare provider through the steps. Ask if you can supply a couple of your child’s favorite books or see if they’ll sing some lullabies that you know your child is a fan of.

If you know your child wakes up after one sleep cycle and cries out of it and falls back to sleep, make sure you tell your daycare that. Otherwise, they may be tempted to end the nap at the first peep.

Tip #5

Have Realistic Expectations and Patience

Daycare is a new environment for your child. Whenever they’re in a new environment, there is an adjustment period. I tell my clients to give it a good month after starting a new daycare before naps improve (I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but is important to have realistic expectations).

Also, just know that your child probably isn’t going to take long naps at daycare in the beginning. They may never take extremely long naps while at daycare, and the reason why is that the daycare environment isn’t very conducive to sleep, especially when compared to the home environment. It’s typically louder, there’s more activity, and as mentioned above, most daycares aren’t able to turn off the lights. So as a result, when your child wakes up from a sleep cycle (and they always wake up briefly after a sleep cycle, which is about 30-45 minutes), they may notice something stimulating — it could be a sound, or their friends playing, or they might see the lights and they’ll be reminded that it’s daytime — and they’re not going to want to fall back to sleep. Mentally prepare for that to happen and have a game plan to help your child make up for the lost sleep.

To help with this, you can let your kiddo take a cat nap on the ride home (or in the stroller if you are walking to and from daycare), or put your child to bed 30 to 60 minutes earlier if the catnap isn’t possible, which I highly recommend. Otherwise, they’re overtired at bedtime then their body’s going to start producing cortisol and it’s going to be harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Lastly, allow them to catch up on sleep on the weekend. Let them sleep in. Let them take long chunky naps. They’re going to need the extra sleep to work off any sleep debt they accumulated during the week. Plus, it will give you some “me time”.

Tip #6:

Learn Independent Sleep

Before Going to Daycare

Make sure your child is falling asleep independently before you send them to daycare. Because if they’re dependent on you to fall asleep, it’s going to be really hard for them to get adjusted to someone else putting them down. Whereas if they’re falling asleep independently (where you’re not rocking or feeding them to sleep), they’re going to have a much easier time when the daycare provider puts them to sleep.

I hope that these tips help to ease your mind as you transition your child to daycare. A little preparation and whole lot of communication will go a long way to achieving daycare sleep success.

If you need help with teaching your child to fall asleep independently, as it goes without saying, we are here for you. We offer both group sleep coaching and private one-on-one consultations. If you’re interested in learning more, schedule your 15-minute complimentary discovery call with us→

Schedule Your Complimentary Discovery Call

Tagged: daycare, daycare sleep, naps, no naps, nap schedule, sleepschedule, sleep schedule, napsonthego, catnap, back to school

The child refuses to sleep in kindergarten – what to do? | Chalk

Putting your baby to sleep during the day is a difficult task. But it’s one thing when he protests against a quiet hour at home, a completely different thing is a kindergarten. Is it possible to give up daytime sleep and how harmful it is for a preschooler – we figure it out together with Yulia Chelysheva, Ph.D.

Question. Child refuses to sleep in kindergarten. Is it possible to do something so that he just plays in a group at this time? nine0003

Answer. The first thing you should pay attention to is the age of the child. If we are talking about an older preschooler 5-6 years old, then his nervous system is already quite stable, he can do without daytime sleep. But younger preschool children aged 3-4 years need daytime sleep. They need it to unload the nervous system, which is not yet sufficiently formed.

There is always a reason why a child refuses to sleep in kindergarten. It’s important to find it. Perhaps the bedroom and sleep in kindergarten cause anxiety or even fear in the child. An unfamiliar environment, a situation of discomfort. In addition, there are often physiological reasons for this: the child does not have time to get tired by the time of quiet time, this is especially true for children who get up in the kindergarten not at 8 in the morning, but when they themselves wake up. nine0003

Or the reverse situation: the child is so overexcited that he simply cannot switch to sleep. However, it is always worth bearing in mind that each child is individual and it may be that his nervous system is already quite well formed and he simply does not need a daily reboot.

If a child flatly refuses to sleep in a kindergarten, then, according to the law, he may not sleep, but engage in quiet, calm activities in the playroom

Play constructor, leaf through books, collect puzzles, etc. should not be accompanied by violent emotions, so as not to disturb others. nine0003

The question that the child will not sleep in the garden is decided by the parents and the teacher of the group individually. But you need to understand that if there are several such children in the group, then they will play with each other, make noise, disturb the sleepers, and this will violate the certain order and regime of the group, which, of course, is unacceptable.

So it is logical that educators are usually reluctant to agree on the lack of sleep in one of their wards and look for any ways to solve this problem. The most common move: the child is allowed not to sleep, but simply to lie in bed with his eyes open. They offer him to think, dream, play quietly with some toy, which they allow to take into the bedroom. nine0003

It is important that the child is in the bedroom and not in the play or study room. As a rule, even the most stubborn unwilling people in such a situation sooner or later turn off and fall asleep.

Ask your question to Mel, and the editors will find someone who can answer it. Write to our social networks – we read all messages on the pages on Facebook, VKontakte and Odnoklassniki. You can also write to us on Instagram. Answers will be published in order of priority in the “Question – Answer” section. By the way, we do not disclose names, so questions can be anything (feel free!). nine0003

Cover image: FamVeld / shutterstock

Child does not sleep in kindergarten

The first months of kindergarten are not easy for all children. Parting with the mother, changing the home environment to an unfamiliar premise of the kindergarten, new faces, new food and a daily routine different from home lead the child to a state of confusion and confusion. The kid has to obey the routine and rules adopted in the selected kindergarten. Against the background of general stress, there is often a problem with daytime sleep. Educators complain that the child does not sleep in kindergarten and interferes with other children, and parents simply do not know what to do in this difficult situation. nine0003

Why the baby does not sleep in kindergarten

A newborn sleeps up to 20 hours a day, by 2-3 years the duration of sleep gradually decreases to 12-13 hours. Moreover, this time can be arbitrarily divided depending on the individual characteristics of the psyche, the activity of the child and the influence of the environment. Daytime sleep at the age of three, as a rule, is 2-3 hours. And it is simply necessary for rest and restoration of the working capacity of the developing nervous system of the child. Lack of daytime sleep can lead to moody and agitated behavior, decreased interest in games and learning, and even to diseases of the nervous system. nine0003

Sleep problems in kindergarten can be caused by various reasons:

• the child is afraid to sleep alone or in the company of unfamiliar peers;
• the baby is not used to the regime established in the kindergarten;
• a preschooler experiences stress due to attending a kindergarten and parting with his parents.

Most often, sleep problems resolve themselves and within a month the child develops the habit of sleeping during the day – fatigue accumulates, kindergarten ceases to be something frightening and alien, the body gets used to a clear daily routine. If the child cannot get used to it, cries and asks to pick him up early, just not to sleep in the garden, parents will need to help him adapt. nine0003

How to teach a child to sleep in kindergarten

Daytime sleep helps to relieve the child’s nervous tension, which falls to the share of assimilation of a huge amount of new knowledge. Therefore, by preparing the child for the kindergarten daily routine in advance, you can significantly reduce the level of stress from the first visits to the preschool.

If “quiet time” is introduced as a rule at home, then the question of how to teach a child to sleep in kindergarten may not arise at all. If already at home you see that it is difficult for your baby to fall asleep during the day, try to keep him busy with reading books or quiet games before going to bed. For example, offer to feel like a spy who needs to lie silently in bed so as not to attract the attention of “enemies”. Or ask yourself to read poetry or come up with a fairy tale. You can also lie down with the child, stroking his back or head, singing a lullaby. The main thing is that before going to bed he can calm down and relax – then his rest will be natural and pleasant. nine0003

If there is no problem with falling asleep, parents just need to synchronize the time of daytime sleep at home with the schedule established in the kindergarten. At first, the child will have difficulty falling asleep at the designated time, and he will need to be asked to just lie still.