How much is daycare a week: In the State of Maryland, How Much Does Daycare Cost?

How Much Will You Pay Per Month?

Childcare is the single biggest expense new parents face before their child starts school. The options can be overwhelming: Day care? Nanny share? Staying at home? Find out what’s best for your situation—and for your wallet.

When I was thinking about having a baby (and during my pregnancy), childcare wasn’t one of my main concerns. Instead I spent a lot of time researching things like:

• Miscarriage rates
• My company’s maternity leave policy
• Weight gain
• Baby names

In retrospect, all that Googling was a colossal waste of time.

I should have been more concerned about figuring out what I was going to do with my baby once I went back to work. Instead, I kept telling myself, “I’ll figure it out later.”

I realize now that I was avoiding researching the issue because I was scared about the idea of leaving my child with a stranger.

But you know what else is scary? Realizing how much childcare costs, especially over the long term.

The longer you wait to look into the issue, the scarier it gets.

The sooner you think about your options, the better decision you’ll make – for your family and your wallet.

This article is a good start.

What’s Ahead:

Option #1: In-home nanny

Before I had a baby, my idea of a nanny came from Lifetime movies. I assumed that all nannies lived in your house, tried to seduce your husband, and slowly tried to drive you crazy before making an attempt on your life.

In reality, nannies are more like advanced babysitters and not evil seductresses. I never understood the differences between a babysitter and nanny. According to Care.com, babysitters usually work intermittently, or for a few hours per week on a regular schedule. Their main tasks are playing with kids, feeding them, and putting them to bed.

Nannies do a lot more. “It’s a nanny’s responsibility to create daily schedules and engage in activities to ensure healthy mental, physical, and emotional growth in the children they care for,” says Care. com. “Most nannies will be tasked with preparing meals, helping with household work (dishes, laundry, etc.), driving the children to and from activities, and assisting with homework.”

When I went back to work after having my daughter, we found an in-home nanny. We went this route for a lot of reasons. First, I worked mainly at night, while my husband worked days. We only needed someone for a few hours one or two afternoons per week.

Many day cares, however, require a minimum commitment of at least three days per week. I didn’t really want to pay for more than I needed, especially considering that I didn’t need to send my daughter there for a full eight hours. (Few day cares accept kids for just half a day).

Another perk of in-home care? It’s just easier.

Having someone come into your house is a lot easier than hauling a non-walking kid around, especially in winter.

Some parents, like my friend Charisse Traband, hire nannies to mind their child while they work in another part of the house. “I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But I also did not want to give up my career. So I decided working from home and having a nanny would be the best of both worlds.”

Average cost

Of all childcare options, in-home care is the priciest. On average, according to Payscale, an in-home nanny (who doesn’t live with you) earns $13.36 per hour, but this varies wildly by location.

In general, because the cost of living is higher in metropolitan areas, nannies get paid more there.

If you want someone trained in CPR or a nanny with a degree in child education or development, expect to pay more.

In Chicago, where I live, the going rate is $14 per hour.

How to save a few bucks

I was happy to let my former nanny bring her daughter along with her when she watched my daughter. In return, she only charged me $12/hour.

Some people give their nanny room and board—meaning she lives in your home—in return for a smaller paycheck.

But I only know one person who’s ever done this, and she didn’t enjoy the experience. Who wants to tiptoe around their own kitchen? Plus, if Lifetime has taught us anything, it’s to beware live-in nannies. (I kid.)

Something to keep in mind

Most people I know pay nannies under the table, but, technically, that’s illegal.

If you pay your nanny at least $1,800 per year, you’re supposed to withhold Social Security (6.2% of her pay) and Medicare taxes (1.45%) from her paycheck (she’s responsible for paying other taxes). If you don’t withhold these taxes, you can face penalties.

Another reason to keep things legal? You can’t claim any childcare tax benefits on your own income tax return unless you’ve withheld taxes from your nanny’s pay.

Option #2: Nannyshare

A nannyshare it just what it sounds like—two or more families share the service of one nanny.

The nanny can alternate between the families’ houses or apartments, making it easier to get out the door at least a few days per week.

It can work out great for kids, as long as they like each other. They get individualized attention from a nanny, have regular playmates, and will theoretically be exposed to fewer germs.

Average Cost

Like all childcare options, nanny share fees vary by region.

In general, a nanny involved in this type of arrangement might charge a dollar or two more per hour than her usual rate because she’s caring for two more children, but you’ll be splitting that cost with another family.

How to save a few bucks: If the other family has more children than you, they should pay for a larger portion of the nanny’s hourly rate.

If you always have to bring your kid or kids to the other family’s house, it could be argued you should pay a little less.

Something to keep in mind: A friend of mine and I asked her nanny if she’d be willing to nanny both of our kids, but she said no. We were both surprised but her reason totally makes sense.

She said that previous nanny shares she’d been involved with hadn’t worked out. Each set of parents had too many different rules for their kids. Some parents won’t let their kids watch TV; others don’t care. Some parents won’t let their kids eat any sugar; the other set thinks sugar and childhood go hand in hand.

Option #3: Day care

I recently ­­stopped teaching night classes and started working during the day again, meaning my daughter needed care three days per week.

I could have tried to find another in-home nanny (the woman I had been using wasn’t free the days I needed her), but that would have gotten pricey.

More importantly, my daughter is now two, and wants to play with other kids. Or, more accurately, she needs to learn how to socialize with other kids.  I decided it was time for day care.

Another plus? Day care is the most economical childcare option. (Besides Grandma babysitting for free!)

For one child, day care is so much less expensive than nannies that you may find yourself sending your child to one right way. “When it was time for me to go back to work, my mom volunteered to watch the baby two times per week and we decided to go with in-home daycare three days per week, basically because it was the cheapest option,” says my cousin, Simona Masini, a teacher. “So how much did money play into that decision? It was mostly based on money.  However, that being said, we also liked the idea of our children being in a home with other kids as opposed to being in our house alone with a nanny.”

Don’t be scared about sending your kid to day care. Those horror stories you hear about are very, very rare.

When I started looking at day care places, I was overwhelmed. There are all different types – large day care centers vs. small day cares in a person’s home vs. Montessori. They each come at different prices points, and they each offer different things.

Ultimately, you need to figure out what your priorities are. If, for example, you want a center that’s met the highest national standards, look for one that is accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). On the other hand, if you want a smaller and less school-like environment, look at home-based centers.

In my case, I didn’t want to add too many minutes onto my commute.

But the closest place also didn’t feel right. There were about 20 kids there, and my daughter is fearful of other children.

So I chose a small home day care that regularly texts me pictures of her while I’m at work, and emails me a nightly report.

Other parents have different priorities. I saw one day care that guaranteed my daughter would be bilingual by the time she entered kindergarten. That matters to a lot of parents, but for me, it wasn’t worth the extra cost.

Average cost

For babies and toddlers, the average cost of full-time day care at a center is $972 a month. And that’s average. Depending on your location and the center you choose, prices could exceed $1,500 a month per child for full-time care.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Once a kid hits two, the average price drops to an average of $733 a month.

Home daycares cost less – an average of $646 a month for babies and around $600 for the over-two crowd.

Of course, costs vary wildly, based on where you live and what features the daycare offers.

Things cost more in cities, obviously.

The least expensive daycare I found in Chicago (that was legit) was $50 per full day. Another one I looked at costs $997 per month for three days per week.

The most expensive states for daycare, according to Baby Center, are:

• Massachusetts
• New York
• Minnesota
• Colorado
• California
• Illinois

How to save a few bucks: If you can work something out with your employer, try to work from home at least one day per week.

Most day cares don’t require kids to attend five days per week.

If you and your partner can adjust the times you need to be at work, you may only need to send your child to day care for a few hours per day.

Some day cares – but not all of them – will charge you per hour instead of per day, or have a half-day rate.

Something to Keep in Mind: Daycares usually offer lunch, snacks, and sometimes breakfast.

The bad news? Daycares aren’t babysitters you can easily cancel on.

Most daycares require you to pre-pay each week. If you have a vacation planned or your child gets sick and doesn’t go to daycare, you still need to pay for the days she misses.

Option #4: Either you or your partner quits your job

Don’t choose this option without thinking about how it will affect you in the long run.

I used to think that parents who didn’t work after having kids chose to stay home because they weren’t career-driven.

What a dummy I was!

Sure, some people stay home because they’d rather hang with their kids. After having a child, I totally get that. Kids are mesmerizing – way more rewarding than anything a job job offers.

But often, one parent stops working because the cost of childcare is simply more than (or exactly the same as, or not much less than) the paycheck he or she is bringing home—especially if more than one kid is involved.

Sometimes bringing home a salary you immediately pay someone else feels …. just stupid.

But before you give notice, just remember that kids do eventually grow up and go to school, eliminating your need to pay for year-round, full-time childcare. (There’s still those pesky afternoons and summer breaks, of course.)

Average cost

This option seems free – at first.

But being a stay-at-home parent sadly doesn’t come with any benefits, like a 401(k). As Baby Center notes in their excellent synopsis of the financial and mental repercussions of staying at home to raise children, “Economists estimate that over a lifetime, staying at home could cost several hundred thousand to a million dollars, once you add up lost employment benefits. These include accrued Social Security and, depending on your job, other financial benefits such as matching 401(k) contributions or a pension.”

How to save a few bucks: While you’ll lose one main source of income, it’s easier than ever to master “the side hustle” with things like Uber and Task Rabbit.

Something to keep in mind: Financials aside, I know tons of parents who are thrilled they made the decision to say goodbye to office life.

Sure, sometimes it gets boring. And sure, you and your partner might find yourselves butting heads a little more.

But you never get back your child’s first few years of life. Plus, the less they go to day care, the less often they’ll get the flu.

Whatever route you go, think long and hard about it first.

And of course, if you live close to family, you can always ask your own mom or dad to watch your kid – for free.

But my cousin Christina notes, “If it’s free, you can’t really complain when your mom gives your kids unlimited ice cream at 9 a.m. But hey, I’ll take it.”

Summary

• Childcare will likely be your largest cost before your child enters school.
• Costs vary wildly by location and type of childcare – in home nannies vs. nanny shares vs. day care vs. becoming a stay-at-home parent.
• In-home nannies are the most expensive option.
• You’ll make the best choice the longer you allow yourself to research the issue and closely monitor your budget before making a choice.

Read more:

• How much does it really cost to have a baby?
• Are you financially ready to have kids?
• In the daycare vs stay-at-home debate, some costs aren’t obvious

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About the author

Total Articles: 39

Patty Lamberti

Total Articles: 39

Patty Lamberti is a freelance writer and Professional-in-Residence at Loyola University Chicago, where she teaches journalism and oversees the graduate program in digital media storytelling. If she doesn’t know something about money, you can trust she’ll track down the right people to find out. You can learn more about her at www.pattylamberti.com. And if you have any story ideas, or questions about money etiquette that you’d like her or an expert to answer, email her at [email protected]

Read more from this author

Daycare Costs per Week by State and Age Group + How to Reduce Costs

For most parents in the U.S., daycare is one of the largest weekly expenses.

High daycare costs can add up. In the U.S., daycare costs have nearly doubled in the last 25 years.^[1]

For families with more than one kid, the amount is sometimes higher than even the monthly mortgage payment. In about half of U.S. states, childcare costs more than tuition.^[2]

Policymakers suggest that daycare costs shouldn’t be more than 10% of a household budget — but daycare usually costs parents about 30% of their income.

Why does daycare cost so much? Consider the following factors:

Location

The most important factor is the state and the city in which you live. States with a high cost of living are costly in all aspects, including childcare.

Some of the most expensive states based on our research are New York, Colorado, Massachusetts, California, and Washington.

Child’s Age

Childcare costs for infants and toddlers are the highest as they need constant attention. As a child grows, costs decrease with age.

For babies and infants, the average cost of center-based daycare is $340 weekly.^[3]

The average cost of daycare for a 4-year-old/preschool child is $250 weekly — quite a difference. We’ll get into more numbers down below.^[3]

Type of Childcare

The type of daycare is an important factor to consider. For example, licensed daycare centers are generally more expensive than those that are non-licensed, and hiring a nanny is the most costly option.^[4]

You may also choose to hire an au pair — see our research on how much an au pair costs.

Hours Spent

Understandably, the cost of daycare varies almost proportionately to the number of hours you keep your child under the care of others.

Some centers do offer discounts on the total daycare cost for full-day care or siblings using the same facility.

Daycare Costs per Week by State and Age Group

The following table shows the average full-time, center-based daycare costs per week in different states for various age groups.^[3]

To see an example of one part-time, before- and after-school program’s cost, see our article on The Goddard School’s tuition.

Suggestions for Reducing Weekly Childcare Costs

Since daycare costs an be very high, we have several suggestions for saving money on childcare:

• Visit and get quotes from several facilities to shop around for the best option.
• Use a daycare that offers discounts for each additional child, and keep all children at the same center.
• Get a daycare that’s either close to home or en route to work. This will save time and fuel money when picking up and dropping off.
• Find an in-home daycare that’s relatively new. The prices will likely be lower than established centers, and you won’t have to worry about getting all of your children admitted if it’s not yet popular.
• Reach out to family or friends. They may be willing to watch your child for free. You could also exchange childcare; your friend could watch your kids one week, and you could watch them the next.

Dayna’s Daycare Tuition & Hours

Daycare-Warwick, RI- Tender Hearts Child Care & Learning Center

Full Time Tuition Rates – Up to 9 hrs/day

5 days

$285. 00

4 days

$265.00

3 days

$245.00

2 days

$225.00

1 day

Extra Day

$128.00

$30.00 (space available)

Part Time Tuition Rates – Up to 4 hrs/day

5 half days

$212.00

4 half days

$192.00

3 half days

$172.00

2 half days

$152.00

Extra Day

$25.00 (space available)

Effective Date 01/03/2022

When returning your registration packet, please include a $75.00 non-refundable registration fee along with one week’s tuition. All payments are made through direct deposit.

If you need to drop off your child early or pick up after your scheduled time, please notify the office ahead of time and we will do our best to accommodate you. Discounted packages are available for additional hours. A charge of $10.00 per 15 minutes will be applied to your account without a discounted package.

Tuition rates are subject to change.

Hours and Holidays

               Hours of Operation         
    The Center opens at 7:00 A. M. and closes at 5:30 P.M. Monday through Friday. To take full advantage of our preschool learning activities, we suggest that you have your child arrive no later than 9:00 A.M. You should escort your child into their classroom and help them get settled. It is necessary for the adult bringing the child into sign-in via the computer located in our vestibule. Parents bringing in an infant may sign in and use the door leading into the Infant Room. These are the only adults permitted to use this entrance.    
   
          Holidays         
          Tender Hearts will be closed as follows:    
   
    January 1st      
    Memorial Day      
    July 4th      
    Labor Day      
    Columbus Day      
    Thanksgiving Day and the day after    
    Christmas Eve    
    Christmas Day    
    If one of these holidays falls on a Saturday or Sunday, we may be closed on the Friday before or the following Monday to observe the holiday. If your child is enrolled part-time, and a holiday falls on the day your child is scheduled to attend, you are not permitted to substitute another day of care. This is due to ratios of other part-time children in the program.     

“A minimum of 1 week’s notice is required to disenroll your child from the program. The normal tuition will be charged for the one week notice period regardless of attendance.”
   
          Snow Days        
       
    Tender Hearts will make every attempt to be open on snow days, although we may need to delay the opening or stay closed in extreme conditions. Please sign up for text alert through the Rhode Island Broadcasters  Association and their website is www.ribroadcasters.com.      
    (Please remember that tuition is due regardless of school closing or holiday.)    
           
        

Rules for Pick Up

Late Pick Up
If a parent is going to be late picking up their child, he /she should notify the school immediately. The following late fees apply if a child is picked up after 6:00 P.M.

6:01 – 6:10 PM – $10.00
6:11 – 6:16 PM – $20.00
6:17 – 6:30 PM – $30.00

Release of Children
The safety and security of the children we care for are of paramount importance. That is why we have a strict pick-up policy. No one will be allowed to pick up a child at our facility unless his or her name, address and telephone number appear on the registration form ­ NO EXCEPTIONS. Should a parent /guardian wish to add a name to the form, we will accept a fax sent to us or a written authorization handed to us directly by the parent /guardian. Parents should advise grandparents and family members of our procedures to avoid any potential problems, and remind them to bring picture ID if they are authorized to pick up.

To ensure the security of the children, Tender Hearts staff will adhere to the following pick-up procedures:

• Check a photo identification or valid driver’s license to be sure the photograph is of the person presenting it. This includes unfamiliar parents.
• Verify the individual is currently listed on the pick-up authorization list.
• If the staff believes a child may be at risk, Tender Hearts reserves the right to refuse the release of a child. This includes not having a car seat in the vehicle.

Contact our office at 401-736-8844 for rate information in Warwick, RI.

What is the market price of daycare and preschool?

Former Brookings Expert

Executive Summary

How much do parents spend on center-based daycare and preschool for their young children?  In other words, what is the market price of these services?  The answer is important for parents, government, policymakers, and providers.

Using nationally representative data from the 2016 Early Childhood Program Participation Survey I calculate hourly and annualized prices for parents who purchase at least eight hours a week of center-based care for a child under five who does not have a disability and do so without outside financial help in paying the fees.   The results are analyzed by age of child, region of country, parental education, parental income, and hours of attendance.

For the country as a whole, the median price for a family with the characteristics described above is $8,320 a year and $5.31 an hour.  Families spend somewhat more in the Northeast and West, and somewhat less in the South and Midwest.

Spending in absolute terms goes up with family income and education (e.g., a mean of $11,652 for families making more than $150k a year contrasted with $5,900 for families making from $50-60k a year).  Conversely, spending as a percentage of family income goes down with rising socioeconomic status (e.g., 7% for families making $100-$150k vs. 12% for those making from $50-60k).  Spending is inverse to the age of the child (e.g., $10,400 for infants vs. $6,500 for four-year-olds).

One of the most provocative findings is that infants who are receiving center-based care for at least 8 hours a week, as is the case for older age groups in the sample, are in center-based care for many more hours a week than older children.   For example, median weekly hours for such infants is 40, whereas it is 24 for four-year-olds.

Introduction

Questions about cost (how much is being spent) and price (how much is being charged) for the center-based care¹ of young children loom large among parents, the childcare industry, policymakers, and government.

Related

This is notably so in efforts by city, state and federal government to expand access to center-based care, which involves fraught decisions about how much should be spent on each enrollee to make possible a quality program.  This, in turn, interacts with political and budgetary realities to determine the ages and numbers of children that government decides to serve.

Part of the politics of advocates for expanding taxpayer funded center-based care is including as many families as possible as beneficiaries so as to increase public support.  This generates tension between spending what is thought to be necessary for quality programs vs. serving the maximum possible number of families.   We see this playing out in public controversies, for example, about whether government is spending too little (about $2,500 a year per child in Florida,² the nation’s largest state program) or too much (about $16,500 in the District of Columbia).³

For government and other funders, what is the right amount to spend on what type of center-based service for whom?  How much of that expenditure should be borne by the parents of the young children receiving services (through, for example, a sliding fee schedule based on family income)? And, for parents seeking to purchase center-based care on their own dime or for government trying to generate reasonable estimates of the costs of expansion of public programs, what are the going rates?

Related Books

We are a long way from being able to answer questions about appropriate levels of expenditure for quality programs.   This is due to the absence of credible research demonstrating causal links between child and family outcomes and levels of spending on center-based care.  We can, however, fill in gaps in knowledge about how much is being spent.

That is the question addressed here: How much are individual households spending to send a child to a center-based program when no one is helping them pay, i.e., what is the market price? Of course, price in this case is set in conditions that are far from a free and unfettered market.  Government intervenes in numerous ways, including roughly $26 billion in annual spending by the federal government on programs and tax expenditures to support the care and education of young children.⁴ Some states and cities also have assumed substantial costs to provide free public preschool programs.

Knowledge of the market price for center-based early childhood programs, notwithstanding that it is influenced by government expenditures, can be valuable to parents who are planning to have children and those already paying for services.   Market price also provides a useful anchor for discussions and decisions about how much government should be spending. Similarly, information on market price can inform decisions by states or localities on how to set sliding fee schedules or eligibility cutoffs so as to focus state expenditures on families in greatest financial need, while not at the same time driving away families with higher incomes whose children can provide needed socioeconomic diversity in daycare and preschool centers.

Existing data on market price for early childhood programs is surprisingly spotty and uncertain. The primary up-to-date source is an annual compilation by an advocacy organization, Child Care Aware of America.⁵ It is based on surveys of state-level Child Care Resource & Referral (CCR&R) officials about the prices that licensed providers within their state are charging.  These officials, in turn, survey individual providers within their state in order to be able to determine the fees they are charging their customers. ⁶

The information from providers is valuable but has limitations.  Among them are that it is not collected in the same way from state to state; misses center-based programs that fall outside the licensed provider network; does not incorporate corrections for sample bias; and, most critically, does not incorporate information from individual families on their daycare and preschool expenses.

Knowing what licensed centers across a state charge is not the same thing as knowing what parents pay. The price parents pay depends on the number of hours their child is enrolled, the child’s age, the parents’ financial resources, the communities being served, and many other factors.  The price paid by parents for center-based care is to the Child Care Aware data as the amount of money that families spend eating out is to a compilation of menu prices of restaurants.

methods

To provide an estimate of parents’ expenditures on center-based case I take advantage of newly released data from the Early Childhood Program Participation Survey (ECPP), which was carried out on behalf of the National Center for Education Statistics by the Census Bureau as part of the 2016 National Household Education Survey. ⁷ The ECPP was previously administered in 2005.

The ECPP surveys a nationally representative sample of about 5,500 households with children under five years of age.⁸ Parents answer questions on their children’s participation in early childhood programs, including the hours that children spend in such programs and how much the parents are paying.  The ECPP is administered to parents along with other survey questions that generate extensive background information on children and their families, e.g., the family’s total income and the parents’ education.

The present analyses examine the data through different lenses than were used in the NCES report of the data that was released in September of 2017.⁹ The differences between the present treatment of the data and that of NCES are primarily in the form of selection restrictions.  For instance, the NCES report covers children through age five who are not yet in kindergarten, whereas the present analyses include only those households reporting on a child under five years of age – the “age restricted sample. ”

I use a narrower selection window than NCES for age, as well as other variables described subsequently, in order to generate results on market price that are most applicable to the general customer base and policymaking context of center-based programs for young children.

On children’s age, for example, a child’s entry into kindergarten in a public school typically requires that the child have turned five by September of the year of enrollment. The ECPP dataset provides a year-of-age marker for each child based on the child’s age on December 31, 2015.  A child who is five at that point and is not enrolled in kindergarten is statistically unusual as well as likely to have characteristics or to be in circumstances that are different from those of the mass of children whose families participate in the market for center-based programs.  Including these children in analyses and categorical summaries of usage and price, as NCES does, can be misleading or beside the point.  For example, I cannot think of an interesting policy question that would be informed by knowing the percentage of children from three to five years of age who are in center-based care.   In contrast, I have trouble thinking of any system-level policy question that would not be informed by knowing the percentage of four-year-olds receiving such services.  NCES reports the former, but not the latter.

On the same theme of aligning the analysis and reporting to relevant policy questions, I use a “customer subsample” that further restricts the population being studied to households in which parents purchase, without financial help from others, at least eight hours a week of center-based care for a child under five who does not have a disability.   The disability exclusion is in place to avoid generating price estimates that are skewed upward by children who have special and costly needs.  The exclusion of families who are receiving help from outside their household in paying fees is in order to determine what families themselves are able and willing to pay.  The exclusion of families who are using center-based care for less than eight hours a week is to assure that the results are not distorted by families who are purchasing specialized or incidental services that are unlike in kind or price the typical center-based care on which this report focuses.

In other words, the focus of the analyses that follow is on parents who purchase a significant number of hours of prototypical center-based care out of their own resources for a child under five who does not have a disability.

This customer subsample of parents is, not surprisingly, more educated and affluent than parents who are identically selected except that the costs of their child’s attendance are covered in whole or in part by entities outside the family.  For example, families that send their child to a “free” federally funded Head Start program are much more disadvantaged economically than the families in the present customer subsample who are paying the full freight for a fee-for-service center.  Again, the goal of the present analysis is to estimate the market price of center-based care.  Thus, the selection conditions generate a sample of the customers for centers that charge a fee.

The market price of center-based care is defined here as the amount paid by these self-financed parents.   I am able to calculate the fees these parents pay on an hourly basis for an individual child, and then annualize that number based on the hours that the child is reported to attend a center each week.¹⁰ I examine how hourly and annualized expenditures by parents vary with a number of characteristics of child, family, and setting.¹¹ Together, the analyses that follow come closer than heretofore to a valid estimate of the market price for center-based care for normally developing young children under five years of age who are receiving such care for a substantial number of hours each week.¹²

population levels of child participation in center-based care by age of child

The following graph includes all families in the sample who have a child under age five (the age restricted sample), not just those in the customer subsample. It addresses a superordinate and policy-relevant question of the prevalence of center-based care by age of child.  The finding is a dramatically increasing participation rate by age, starting with 13% of children from birth to one year of age regularly attending a center-based program and rising to 66% for four-year-olds.   The latter percentage is very close to the estimate of 69% I reported in a previous publication based on calculations on an entirely different set of data.¹³

hourly price, yearly price, and hours of attendance by age of child

The following tables present the hourly and yearly price paid for center-based care by families in the customer subsample (fee-paying, self-financed households with a normally developing child under five years of age attending a center-based program at least 8 hours a week).  Because the standard deviation for payments is so large (skewed upward by affluent families) I present the median for payments, along with the mean.  The means in the table are lower than those reported by Child Care Aware based on its survey of program providers, but in the same range, e.g., the Child Care Aware average of state averages for the yearly price of infant, toddler, and four-year-old center-based care is $9,697,¹⁴ contrasted with $8,933 from the present sample of parents.

Where does the price parents are paying for center-based care for a young child fit in the context of K-12 education? Recent figures indicate that the national average spending per child in public education is about $12,500 a year.¹⁵ The school year is roughly 7 hours a day for 180 days. That is roughly $10 an hour.  So, K-12 public education costs more than parents are paying for daycare and preschool, which is reasonable given that K-12 education is a more resource-intensive activity, teachers typically make more, and the K-12 dollar figure includes spending on services for students with disabilities.  The point is that the estimates in the tables above are in a reasonable range given what one might expect from the Child Care Aware survey and the calculated costs of K-12 education.

Center-based care is thought to cost more for infants and toddlers than for older preschoolers because a larger staff is necessary to care for the needs of the youngest children.  In that regard, the National Association for the Education of Young Children recommends no more than 8 infants in a group with 2 teaching staff, whereas the recommended maximum group size rises to 20 for four-year-olds.¹⁶

There is an association between the mean values for hourly price by age of child in the following table, but the differences are smaller on an hourly basis than I would have guessed.  Further, the only sizable dip in price occurs for four-year-olds compared to younger children, whereas the recommended maximum group size goes up for each age group.

Hourly Price by Age of Child
Child’s Age as of Dec 31, 2015	Mean	Median
0	$8. 02	$5.53
1	$7.90	$5.63
2	$7.17	$5.75
3	$7.41	$5.25
4	$6.53	$4.72

Where the received wisdom on the relationship between age of child and price is borne out is on yearly price, as presented in the following table. We see that the price parents are paying for their infant to attend a center-based program is about 60% higher than parents are paying for their four-year-old.

What accounts for the divergence between the hourly and yearly price by age of child?  The next table indicates that the underlying factor is the number of hours each week that the child is in center-based care.   It is surprising to me that infants who are receiving center-based care for at least 8 hours a week are, on average, spending more time in center-based care than older groups of children (who are, likewise, in center-based care for at least 8 hours a week).  Further, a median of 40 hours per week for infants means that half of them are in center-based care for more than 40 hours a week.

My surmise is that parents who are paying for 40 hours a week, or more, of center-based care for an infant are doing so because they need to work, and infant care from another family member is unavailable, as is affordable individual care from an unrelated adult.   The much larger group of parents who are purchasing center-based care for four-year-olds, in contrast, includes many families who are voluntarily enrolling their child for less than a full-time preschool experience and have options for the care of their child for the rest of the week, including having a family member care for the child at home.

Family factors that are associated with hourly price

As depicted in the next table, the hourly price that families are paying rises with the educational level of the parents.  Graduate and professional families pay more than twice what parents with less than a high school education pay.  To the extent that price affects quality and quality affects long-term outcomes for children, this is a concern.

Hourly Price for Center Program by Parental Education
Parent/guardian Highest Education	Mean	Median
Less than high school	$3. 13	$3.13
High school	$6.21	$3.63
Vocational/technical	$5.21	$4.00
College	$7.65	$5.42
Graduate or professional	$7.88	$5.91

Price is also affected by region of the country.  As the next table shows, the Northeast and West are more expensive than the South and Midwest.

The strongest single variable in the data in terms of impact on price is family income, as illustrated in the next two graphs.   Price rises substantially at the upper end of the distribution of family income.  Price falls quite a bit at the lower end of the distribution.¹⁷ The overall similarity of the relationship between price and income in the hourly and yearly graphs suggest that it is not primarily differences in total hours of utilization that are driving the results.  Rather, as is the case for the previously described relationship between parental education and price, families with more economic advantage are paying more.  And, as before, to the extent that price is associated with quality and long-term outcomes, the disparity between affluent and poor families in the price being paid for center-based care is of concern.

A central factor that seems to be driving differences in the price paid by families for center-based care is what economists would describe as the demand curve: the relationship between the price of a good or service and the amount of it that consumers are willing and able to purchase.   In that regard, it is obvious that a family whose total annual income is between $10-20k will be very unlikely to pay over $11,000 a year for center-based care (the mean price paid by families making more than $150k a year).

Differences in the demand curve by family socioeconomic status likely play out not only in what families pay but in the characteristics of the centers that serve communities in which most of the customers are within a restricted range of economic advantage.  Thus, a center that serves an upper-class community will not only charge more to parents than a center that serves a lower-class community, but also spend more on staff and facilities and materials.

An interesting and policy-relevant question about the demand curve is the proportion of family income that families are willing and able to spend on center-based care.  The ECPP obtains reports of family income from parents only in the broad categories used in the two previous graphs, e.g., $60-75k.  Using the midpoint of the separate ranges of family income depicted in the graphs, the following graph represents the proportion of family income spent on center-based care for one child conditional on level of family income. The graph excludes the highest category of >$150k (because it does not have a calculable midpoint), as well as the lowest category of $0-10k (because it has only a small number of sample units).

The greater the income of families purchasing center-based care for a young child, the less the percentage of that income is spent on center-based care.  At the same time, as made clear by previous graphs, more affluent families are spending more on center-based in absolute terms.  In other words, the financial pain of purchasing daycare and preschool services is less for more affluent compared to less affluent families, whereas the absolute price of the service is higher for more affluent families, with likely impacts on quality.

COnclusion

The evidence presented above is descriptive.  As such, it does not provide dispositive support for any particular policy positions on the provision and financing of daycare and pre-K.  That said, the realities of what families of different income and educational levels are paying for center-based programs are important to framing policy questions.   For example, those with a social justice perspective might use the findings here to argue that low-income families should not have to expend more on daycare as a percentage of their total income than middle class families.  They could then propose and advocate for particular types of taxpayer supported subsidies to achieve their goal.¹⁸ On another side of the policy debate, opponents of the expansion of public subsidies to support responsibilities that families in prior generations handled themselves, could, based on the present findings, argue that a lot of parents across a broad swath of socioeconomic levels utilize center-based care for their young child without having to have government assistance.¹⁹

Evidence doesn’t speak for itself, but it gives voice and reason to those who see a problem and want to solve it.

Little Lukes Preschool and Childcare Center

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The kids really seem to like the arts and crafts projects. They also love having special guests (karate instructor, fireman, police etc. ).

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In just the few months since he has been attending, my son has shown a great deal of progress. I am truly grateful for the wonderful teachers, TAs, and…

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The price is high but it’s worth it for the quality of care my child gets. Every person smiles and genuinely seems to enjoy their job. Love their attitude…

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The hours work well for what I need and my daughter is learning a lot.

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Great communication, very friendly/loving learning environment. Everyone is always friendly and willing to assist my family to ensure my child’s needs…

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Happy you are allowing kids with disabilities in classrooms. You teach kids so much.

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My son is getting excellent care with his therapists at this center. He has come a long way since he’s started and has a long journey yet to come! I…

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Incredible improvement in my son. The knowledge of the teachers.

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I am impressed by the curriculum, the interactive activities, the Brightwheel app, and most importantly the teachers and therapists. A quality program!

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Good communication with parents of children with special needs.

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Open communication. My kids are excited and happy to go to school each and every day! The teachers all appear to be very nurturing and attentive to each…

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I love that each week has a different theme that engages my child. It makes each day exciting and something new to look forward to.

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Providing excellent care and education for my son. My son has made tremendous improvements in the special Pre k Class.

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Energetic, enthusiastic and knowledgeable teachers caring for and educating the kids.

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Taking such good care of our child and always updating us. My son is so loved and cared for.

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The teachers and therapists are amazing with all that they do with the kids. We really appreciate how well informed they keep us on the progress of our. ..

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I have no worries when my baby is in your care which is priceless ….EVERY teacher and staff member know my little girl by name and she gives ALL of them…

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STAFF HAS ALWAYS BEEN EXCELLENT. EVERYONE IS GREAT AND I LOVE THE EDUCATION. EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING AND FRIENDLY AND CARING STAFF.

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Safe and secure, friendly and welcoming staff.

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Teachers are excellent and course work is stimulating. My child is happy. Doing a great job!

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Teaching the kids in fun and active ways! Everyone is always super friendly and willing to help! I like that my son can receive his therapies during his…

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U guys have helped my son so much and I would not change anything – U are there to help kids with all kinds of disablites and that is amazing I am very.. .

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The teachers in the classroom are amazing as well as the communication via notebook and the use of brightwheel.

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Doing well: Individualizing the specific needs, goals and successes for each child’s special qualities and desires. We like: Open communication, specialized. ..

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Little Luke’s is great my child has learned many words and vocabulary since attending Little Lukes.

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•You have some of the best hours of operation in the Syracuse area
•Your staff/teachers seem to really love the children they care for
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Pretty much everything. Little lukes is a place where my kids get to play, learn and develop skills for the future. The staff treat my children like they…

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Activities and reading with the children. There’s always fun project stuff planned.

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Employees are kind and don’t mind discussing the child and also if parents give a request they do it

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Provide great overall care, and exceptional service. Willingness to help when we forget certain necessities.

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Willingness to help when we forget certain necessities.

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How well my child is cared for and how professional the staff is. The care of my child and the support of any decision that we make.

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Kindness and understanding and sincerely loving the children. They really help the children progress.

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My son has a very strong relationship with the teachers in his room.

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My son has improved immencely at little Luke’s. We’re extremely happy with the speech and occupational options that little Luke’s provides.

Ashlee, Little Lukes Pulaski View All

The parent communication is great. I never feel in the dark about what’s happening every day. I love that the children get outdoors time nearly every…

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The quality of care is amazing and I love all the employees there! The quality of childcare and love that the teachers give to the children!

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How that make you feel comfortable about the kids going there. Show how caring they are about the kids.

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Im completely satisfied with my son’s services at the preschool program. I wouldn’t change it. His sensory needs have improved so much in the time he…

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So much! My little guy thrives at Little Luke’s! Daily updates, tight but friendly regulations on letting people pick up or go into classrooms, willingness…

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Our daughter loves her teachers and friends. We are very happy with our experience at Little Lukes. I like the use of the Brightwheel app. It is a great…

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Clean classrooms, excellent crafts, healthy meals

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Very friendly staff, welcoming, educational. My daughter has grown and learned so much in the 2 years she has been there. My daughter loves it there which…

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I appreciate the time everyone takes to encourage my son to complete tasks independently, even when the faster option would be to just do it for him.
The…

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Convenient hours, fantastic teachers, good communication with parents. Love the use of the Brightwheel app, getting pictures makes my day.

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You make it fun to learn and give the kids options 🙂 I LOVE the bright wheel app!! I love how you guys do one on one with the kids to give them special…

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The kids really seem to like the arts and crafts projects. They also love having special guests (karate instructor, fireman, police ect. ) Teacher interaction…

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curriculum and play, high staff to student ratio. small class sizes, lots of play

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The multiple learning programs IE. Speech and physical therapy. We love family oriented stuff.

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Lots of fun activities and creative learning to prepare for kindergarten

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Communications-letters and verbal
Caring for our child both emotionally and educationally

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Connection with our kids while they are at the Center. Everyone is really nice, understanding. Communication between the teachers and families. Love how…

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Y’all are doing a great job. Love how well the children are treated. My son has came along way since beginning at little Luke’s. Before he couldn’t even…

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So many creative exercises to keep learning fun. My son loves the added Karate, yoga, ballet and music exercises and really looks forward to going to daycare. ..

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Continuing to make sure my son reaches his goals and supporting him all the way! The availability to have all services in one location. Speech therapy…

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My daughter has done well with her speech and development in the toddler room.

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Adaptation to kindergarten. How to avoid mistakes.

5
Mar

Headings: Kids in kindergarten
comments 88

A child can be considered adapted to kindergarten under two conditions:

1. The child has learned the rules of behavior in preschool, has the necessary self-care and communication skills.
2. It is psychologically comfortable for the child to stay in kindergarten

Sometimes teachers and parents mistakenly believe that the adaptation process is successfully completed only when the first condition is met. The child is obedient, independent, “comfortable”. Does not demonstrate aggressiveness, conflict, does not cry. And the fact of psychological discomfort is overlooked, although the child is closed, depressed, often sick, not included in games with peers, experiencing a state of anxiety. It’s good when a child, having come to kindergarten, knows how to hold a spoon himself, but more importantly, if he knows how to cope with internal anxiety. For example, a child may develop a special farewell ritual in kindergarten. Or learn the mantra: “Mom will come for me.” Or he will carry his favorite toy to kindergarten …

I have faced the problem of a child’s adaptation to preschool education many times and from different angles: as an educator, as a psychologist, as a mother. More precisely, like a mother twice. With the adaptation of Arseniy, I made many mistakes. Sasha gave me a chance to fix them all.

Typical mistakes of parents during the period of adaptation

1. Underestimation of the importance of the period of adaptation, a sharp immersion of the child in the preschool environment. This is when a mother, contrary to the recommendations of a psychologist, seeks to leave the child immediately for the whole day and go far away on business. At this time, it is preferable for the mother to be in close proximity to the kindergarten and quickly appear on an urgent call (continuous crying, fever)
   How long should a child’s first stay in kindergarten last? I don’t have a definitive answer to this question. It all depends on the individual child. It can be one hour of incessant panic crying, or maybe half a day of interesting activities and a surprised childish question: “Grandma, why did you come so early? I still want to sleep with the guys. ”I preferred to focus not on the prescribed norms, but on the psychological comfort of the child.
2. Violation of the principle of systematicity, consistency (today we will go to kindergarten, tomorrow we won’t go, because we overslept, laziness, mom just doesn’t feel like it, “he’s crying so much today that he’s afraid to leave”) The child is more difficult to get used to such inconstancy.
3. Sudden disappearance at parting, when the mother tries to distract the child and leave unnoticed, believing that by doing so she avoids the stress of parting. Mom disappears now during breakfast, then during a walk – a distrust of mother, of the world, a fear that mother can disappear at any moment, even at home, is formed. It is best to come up with a farewell ritual that will be repeated every day.
4. Power mismatch. Some parents feed their children “canned” baby food for a long time. A child who receives only pureed food at home comes to kindergarten with an unformed chewing skill. A child accustomed to eating only pasta and dumplings is likely to push back garden vegetable stew and casserole.
5. Non-compliance with the unity of requirements at home and in preschool. For example, feeding at home “on the go”, in front of the TV, leads to the child running away from the table in the kindergarten; without focusing on the cartoon, can not sit in one place for a long time. A common situation: a child falling asleep at home only in the process of motion sickness becomes a real problem for caregivers during a quiet hour.
6. Day mode mismatch. It is necessary to accustom the child to an early rise even before entering the garden. Ideally, the child himself should wake up at the right time – this will help to avoid additional stress, whims caused by lack of sleep and overwork.
7. It is good to teach a child to take care of himself, but it is not always possible due to age. Teach your child to ask for help and calmly wait for their turn (the teacher hears your request, but first he will help Vanya and Katya)
8. Inattention to socialization. The child must be prepared in advance for communication with other children and adults, to observe the peculiarities of his behavior (shy, secluded, conflicts, fights or easily finds a common language, contacts with peers, is drawn to communication, relaxed). The child needs to be taught that mom and dad can go away on business, but after some time they will definitely return. Before kindergarten, the child should have the experience of being separated from his mother for at least a few hours.
9. Wrong attitude of the child to attend kindergarten. Some parents draw the kid some kind of idyll of his stay in kindergarten . Others threaten the child with kindergarten as a punishment for disobedience. It is best to take a position of perceived need. The formation of the wrong mood is facilitated by the expression of negativity by adults, dissatisfaction with the kindergarten and its employees in the presence of the child. You should avoid talking about the baby’s tears with other family members in his presence. But be sure to show the significance of his new status.
10. The desire to entertain the child in this difficult period for him by going to the circus, zoo, cafe. This puts even more stress on the child’s nervous system. It is better to spend more time in the familiar home environment, playing and talking with the baby.
11. Overlapping crises when the start of kindergarten attendance coincides with a change in family composition or a move. For example, dad left the family and mom needs to go to work. Or another child was born. It is advisable to send the older child to kindergarten before the baby arrives, so that he does not perceive this as exile, because a new child has taken his place.
12. Excessive anxiety, preoccupation. If a mother fearfully expects her child to fall ill, he will certainly fall ill in order to justify her hopes. If a mother says goodbye to a child for a long time with a worried expression on her face, and when she comes for him, she anxiously examines for bruises, redness, symptoms of malaise – her anxiety will undoubtedly pass on to the child. First of all, in such a situation, the mother must change her internal state.
13. Lack of interest in the adaptation of the caregiver. For example, a child is taken to kindergarten by a nanny who has been with him since the age of six months. The longer and more painful the adaptation of the child, the more necessary the nanny will be, and the nanny is financially interested in this. Another example: a grandmother who internally opposes the parents’ decision to send the child to kindergarten, and she herself wants to take care of her grandson.
14. It happens that a mother, who does not see herself outside the situation of caring for a child, experiences special pleasure when the baby does not want to go to kindergarten, thereby broadcasting to him on a subconscious level her interest in such behavior. I noticed that the children of working mothers adapt more easily.
15. No need to visit preschool. Parents doubt the expediency of “kindergarten education” and the child uses any hesitation of the parents in order not to go to kindergarten.
16. Parents’ unpreparedness for a child’s negative reaction to a preschool institution. The child cries, and the parents experience anxiety and guilt, only exacerbating the situation. No matter how strange it may sound, but crying during adaptation is the norm. And the louder the cry, the sooner it will end. The child needs time and the opportunity to “grieve”, to survive the loss of some pleasures of home life.

And once again about expediency. Kindergarten up to 3 years is justified only by the need to release the mother to go to work or other matters. For communication, development and socialization, a kindergarten is needed no earlier than 3-4 years. Well, two-year-olds do not need games with peers. At this age, they still do not play together, but simply side by side. The kid can appreciate all the charm of joint games with friends closer to 4 years. And then, very possibly, he will become happier in the kindergarten than at home.

psychologist Anna Bykova

Experts: Kindergartens built on psychological violence

I would venture to guess that such scenes play out in many families. Adapting to kindergarten is a serious test for both the child and the parents.

Flowers behind barbed wire

– Aachu kaik! – shouts, shedding tears, Misha. Which in translation from his language means “I do not want to go to kindergarten. ” Our timid arguments like “there are children waiting for you”, “there are a lot of toys in the kindergarten” do not produce any effect.

To be honest, you have to convince not only Misha, but also yourself. A worm of doubt gnaws from within. Is the child really psychologically ready to go to kindergarten? How to understand it? What is wrong with adaptation? How to choose a preschool educational institution? And, finally, is it possible to socialize a child outside kindergarten? With these questions, the correspondent of “RG” went to a specialist.

Psychologist Yulia Smirnova holds the view that if it is possible not to take a child to kindergarten, then it is better not to do so. In order to understand the issue as deeply as possible, she suggested turning to history. The very concept of “kindergarten” in the 19th century was invented by the German teacher Friedrich Froebel. According to his plan, this institution was supposed to help reveal the divine potential of the child. Frebel’s motto is: “Love, patience and work.”

– And why exactly the word “garden”? And not a house, for example? – Yulia Smirnova draws attention. “Children are like seeds that we sow and nurture. And each “plant” needs its own approach. Some need more sun, others need moisture, others need to be in the shade.

Everything connected with God was removed from the kindergartens of the times of the USSR, and the resulting void was filled with Soviet ideology. The teacher had to make the children comfortable and obedient. And since there was no love in the ideology itself, our kindergartens began to resemble prison camps. I would like, frankly, to surround them with barbed wire.

According to Yulia Smirnova, everything in kindergartens is based on psychological violence. Toddlers are forced to do things that they are not interested in. And if they instill something useful, it is not with love, but through moralizing. That is why children do not want to go there. They protest against violence.

– There is an opinion that children are socialized only in kindergartens. But this is absurd, she says. – And when the kids are walking on the playground in the yard, is this not a social world? Teach children how to interact with each other. Yes. This is hard. Parents need to work hard. And they are lazy and prefer to fuse the child somewhere.

Children’s revenge

According to Yulia Smirnova, there is a category of children who, in principle, are not fit for kindergartens.

– He cannot “grow” on the same field with others, – the psychologist continues the metaphor. – Well, this is such a plant. He needs to stand alone on the windowsill. But this does not mean that the child does not need communication. Such children are very sensitive to any changes: loud voices, temperature fluctuations in the room and, of course, the psychological atmosphere. They are usually painful. More often such fragile “flowers” are girls. Kindergarten will simply break them. And there are children who, on the contrary, are very active. They should be feared already by the teacher of a preschool institution.

– They are such born warriors, – Yulia Smirnova explains. – Mostly boys. They simply destroy everything around them, they do not know how to control their energy. What if there are two or three? This is a disaster for kindergarten!

The teacher is unlikely to cope with these chieftains, the psychologist believes. These kids need a mentor. They also want to spend as much time as possible in nature: a fire, a tent. In conditions of survival, their energy will find the right channel. And it happens that a son or daughter is simply not ripe for kindergarten.

– There is a physiological birth, and there is a psychological one, – says Yulia Smirnova. – This is when the child begins to realize himself as a person, and not part of the mother. Sometimes this happens by the age of five. And children are sent to kindergarten early, and in this case they receive a serious psychological trauma. They feel like they’ve been abandoned. It is very difficult to live with such an injury. The child begins to unconsciously take revenge on his parents: through illness, depression, bad behavior.

How to understand that a child is psychologically born? This happens when he clearly separates the concepts of “I”, “you”, “we”, pronounces the phrase “I myself”.

However, not everyone can afford to choose: family education or kindergarten. And then, Yulia Smirnova believes, when choosing an institution, you need to rely on parental instinct.

– If there is noise in the kindergarten, laughter is heard – feel free to take the child there, – she says. – If there is dead silence – run away from such an institution.

Education of character

Victoria Kornilova, teacher-psychologist of one of the private kindergartens in Kazan, is not so categorical in her assessments of preschool institutions.

– I did some research in the past, she says. – Compared two groups of children. Some do not go to kindergarten, but attend developmental groups, while others go to the municipal kindergarten. Indeed, the first group of children is more capable of creativity. Less rules, less violence – more freedom and creativity. From this point of view, kindergartens seem to be losing. But, on the other hand, the socialization of children does not occur and their creativity is not embodied in deeds, because they lack character.

And he, according to the teacher, should be formed among peers, and not adults who patronize him. Otherwise, the child does not develop self-confidence, inner strength.

According to Viktoria Kornilova, the best kindergartens are those where socialization is combined with freedom and an individual approach to the child. But private establishments can boast of such conditions.

Meanwhile, an unequivocal answer to the question “Is it worth sending a child to kindergarten?” hard to give. Yes, and it rests not only on ethics, but also on “economics”. At least the author of these lines, after talking with an expert, still takes his son to a regular municipal preschool. Although if there was a financial opportunity, then, probably, I would have found another kindergarten. Obviously, the era has passed when kindergartens were practically inevitable, just like the pioneers and the Komsomol. However, we often take our children there out of inertia.

However, it is not right to place the entire burden of adaptation only on educators. Parents should also help their child. And here we must remember the common truth: the closer the baby’s home daily routine is to the kindergarten regime, the easier it will be for him to get used to a new place.

A very important point is to teach a child to respect the decisions of mom and dad. Even if he is going through a crisis of three years of age.

– Parents need to raise their children according to the principle of justice: your wishes come true, and mine, – says Viktoriya Kornilova. – And you need to take a firm stand, you need to explain that nothing threatens him in kindergarten. It’s good there. The experience of parting, of course, will be. But this is within the normal range.

How to understand that the level of stress that a child experiences in kindergarten has exceeded the norm? It turns out that it is impossible to focus only on his mood. He can experience internally, without expressing emotions. Pay attention to physiological signs. Has sleep, appetite and stool been disturbed? Alarming signals can be excessive excitability at home or, on the contrary, lethargy or sudden emotional swings. Another sign is that the child begins severe and protracted illnesses.

The first weeks in kindergarten: helping the child get used to it

The beginning of kindergarten life is always stressful. And not only for children, but also for parents – they have to go through the child’s adaptation to new circumstances. The task of mom and dad is to support the child at this time, not to overload him, to act firmly and consistently, and, most importantly, to convey to the child their confidence that everything will get better very soon.

Play “kindergarten”

Crying that breaks the heart – many parents can tell about the sorrowful cries of a child who first stayed in kindergarten. To make it easier for the child to adapt, teachers and psychologists advise him to form in advance a positive image of the place where children go every weekday.

Play “kindergarten” with your child. Plush toys can turn into children from the group, your baby into a caregiver. Tell him about interesting games, new toys that are waiting for him, about new friends and walks in the big new playground.

Watch cartoons with your child where the action takes place in a kindergarten, read books about it.

Teach your child to the kindergarten routine

Try to accustom your son or daughter to the daily routine in advance, as in kindergarten. Wake him up at about the same time, feed him breakfast. If a child is used to getting up late, and he suddenly has to get up early every morning and go to an unfamiliar place, this will definitely become stressful.

Sometimes it is difficult for kids to fall asleep during the day in kindergarten if they are not used to it at home. Prepare your child for this ahead of time. You can try to go to bed with him, keeping silence and promising a good mood and a walk after waking up.

First days in kindergarten

In the first days, experts recommend taking children to kindergarten only for 1-2 hours. This is the stage of getting used to the new world. After a few days, the time spent in the garden can be extended up to 3-4 hours – and the child can be taken away before daytime sleep. When the child gets comfortable, leave it for more and more time (it can be increased in small portions day after day). But do not forget to discuss this with the teacher so that there are no conflicts.

Experienced parents testify that adaptation to the garden is easiest in summer, when there are fewer children in groups. At this time, educators can pay more attention to each child.

What addiction depends on

According to experts, on average, the period of adaptation to kindergarten for three-year-old children lasts 2-3 weeks, at senior preschool age – 1 month. The older the child, the longer it takes him to get used to new conditions. But these are average data, of course, addiction depends on the type of nervous system and health status, personality traits, family atmosphere, conditions in kindergarten.

It is more difficult for children with poor health to adapt, who quickly get tired of noise, sleep poorly and eat. It is not easy for children who still know little on their own. It can be difficult for them to take care of themselves on their own – to dress, for example.

Limit the load on the nervous system

When adapting to kindergarten, try to limit the load on the child’s nervous system. It would be good for him to watch less TV, not to appear at noisy, crowded events, to go to bed early. Spend more time with your baby, who is starting to go to kindergarten, in quiet games, reading books.

In no case do not scare a child with a kindergarten (if you behave badly, you will go to the kindergarten): no one wants to voluntarily go to a place that is perceived as threatening. But creating the illusion of a fabulous and incredibly interesting life in kindergarten is also not worth it. The attitude should be calm and “working”.

He immediately started to get sick

Sometimes children who have recently crossed the threshold of a kindergarten start to get sick. This is normal – this is how the body adapts to unfamiliar microorganisms, new microbes and viruses.

However, it may be that the baby is not at all ready for kindergarten, can’t get used to it, no matter how hard you try. The disease in this case is similar to the body’s reaction to great stress. In this case, it is worth picking up the child from kindergarten for a while.

Typical mistakes of parents

1. Parental inconsistency; there is no system in their attitude to kindergarten: today we will go to kindergarten, tomorrow we will not go, because we overslept, laziness, bad weather. It is more difficult for a child to get used to a new life with such changeability.
2. Sudden disappearance of the mother when saying goodbye. To avoid tears and stress when parting, the mother disappears either during breakfast or during a walk. As a result, there is distrust in mother, in the world, fear that mother can disappear at any moment, even at home. It would be more correct to come up with your personal farewell ritual, which will be repeated every day.
3. Power mismatch. Some parents continue to feed their children “canned” baby food even at the age of three. A child who receives only pureed food at home will find it difficult to chew in the kindergarten. And if he is used to pasta and dumplings, he is unlikely to like the usual vegetable stew and casseroles for kindergartens.
4. Different habits and requirements at home and in kindergarten. For example, feeding at home in front of the TV leads to the child running away from the table in the kindergarten; without concentrating on the cartoon, he cannot sit in one place for a long time. If a child is rocked at home, it will be difficult for caregivers to put him to bed at a quiet hour.
5. Lack of interest in the adaptation of the caregiver. For example, a child is taken to kindergarten by a nanny who is interested in continuing to work full time in the family. Or the grandmother, accompanying the child, internally opposes the decision of the parents to send the child to kindergarten and wants to take care of her grandson herself.
6. There is no need to visit the garden. Parents have doubts, and the child uses their doubts to avoid going to kindergarten. It happens that a mother really does not know what to do with herself if the child is in the garden, and unconsciously expects that he will stay at home. If the mother works, the children adapt more easily.
7. Parents are not ready to endure the child’s negative reaction. They experience anxiety and guilt, only making the situation worse. Crying when adapting is normal; you need to give the child the opportunity to grieve, survive the loss of constant communication with loved ones and the joys of home life, and get used to the new regime and new environment.

In any case, stay calm. The excitement of parents is always passed on to children. Remember: if you prepare, then the child will sooner or later get used to the kindergarten, and later will remember it with joy.

Why do children get sick a lot and what can be done to reduce SARS?

Pediatrician Shulamith Volfson answered the most urgent questions of mothers, exhausted by children’s ARVI, during the series of webinars “How to Survive Autumn”

The child went to kindergarten, two weeks later came down with snot. Cured, returned to the garden – three days later they fell ill again. This time they stayed at home for five days and went out again, and here again the child began to sneeze and cough. What am I doing wrong? Do you need to stay at home longer after an illness in order to restore local immunity?

Unfortunately, preschool children get sick more often than children of other age groups. The immune system “learns” by encountering a variety of viruses and bacteria, local immunity is in the process of maturation, the first contacts with children’s groups – all this contributes to the fact that children often catch colds. By the age of 8–10, the situation will improve, and the child will get sick less often, but for now, frequent colds will have to be taken as inevitable.

As for the timing of the restoration of local immunity, they are completely individual and, most importantly, nothing depends on them. Otherwise, all the children who are kept at home until the snot completely disappears would not get sick three days after the next return to kindergarten. And they get sick, about the same as those who came to kindergarten with a residual runny nose.

In general, it makes no sense to stay at home for a long time after SARS: if the child does not have a fever, he is cheerful, cheerful, he has a good appetite – he can return to kindergarten.

If the child is still sneezing, coughing, does this mean that he is contagious?

It all depends on the virus. There are viruses that an ill child spreads up to six months, for example, adenovirus. And there are viruses that die within a day after the onset of the disease. We will never be one hundred percent sure that the child is not contagious now. But I can say for sure: you should not be afraid of those children who came after an illness with residual snot, but of those who came to the garden today, seemingly healthy, and suddenly fell ill with a temperature tomorrow. It is they who will have time to infect everyone else: 1-2 days before the appearance of a vivid picture of the disease (cough, runny nose, fever), we are all the most contagious.

It is actually normal for children to get sick. They have to get sick now to become strong enough adults: this is part of the development of the body’s immune system.

And how many times a year can you get sick like this with breaks for a week? What is considered normal and what is not?

On average, children get ARVI 4-6 times a year, and this is the norm. If you are the first year in kindergarten, then the child can get sick up to 8 times. In the second year, he will get sick less often.

It is not normal if each viral infection ends with a bacterial complication, if the child has pneumonia more than 2 times a year, if pustular skin diseases are constantly noted. And getting sick with SARS three or four times in a row with short breaks is disgusting, but also normal for a kindergartener.

And if we change kindergarten, will everything start over again?

Not quite new: your child has already acquired some immune memory. Of course, he will continue to get sick, not as much as in the first year, but perhaps not as little as he would have been sick in the same place. In any case, it makes no sense to sit at home and wait for the viruses to pass by along with life.

What is the most important and universal remedy for persistent colds and viruses?

No matter how trite it sounds, the most important thing is to wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water often. Wash off microparticles of dust and drops on which viruses and bacteria live. Wash your hands and face at every opportunity: after a walk, after a clinic, after guests, before eating … Of all the known preventive measures, this is the most important.

Every year at the clinic we are offered to get vaccinated against the flu. Are these vaccinations helpful? And if so, how often?

The flu vaccination is an effective way to protect against the flu. Unfortunately, the vaccine does not protect against other viruses that provoke SARS. You can get vaccinated at any time of the year, but you need to consider: the flu usually comes to Russia in February, and to Europe in November. Immunity is developed 2 weeks after vaccination.

It is really necessary to get vaccinated every year, because the active strains of the influenza virus change every year, and after a year the previous vaccine is no longer effective.

When choosing a vaccine for vaccination, give preference to vaccines without the addition of immunomodulators.

Is it true that children mostly get sick when they get cold? We ate ice cream, walked outside, ran barefoot – and now again a runny nose and a red throat?

Not really. A child is not likely to get sick if he runs barefoot around the house or screams in the cold. He can hoarse, but, rather, not from the cold, but from the very cry. If he ate ice cream, he probably wouldn’t get sick either, because the ice cream warms up pretty quickly in his mouth. The causative agent of infection is not cold, but a virus. Another thing is if the child was always wrapped up, warmed up, he walked around the house only in socks and slippers, and then suddenly took off his shoes. If he always walked in a warm fur coat, and then suddenly jumped out into the street in a light jacket. The task of parents is to practice a healthy lifestyle without overheating, and then the cold is not so terrible. Although, of course, it is not worth running through the streets without a jacket and a hat in a twenty-degree frost. Unaccustomed cold naturally weakens the immune system.

Do not wrap up and swim in cool water – is it hardening?

No, it’s just a healthy habit (if the cold is within reason). Hardening is a completely different story, much more complex and time consuming, for the most patient parents. This is a whole complex of procedures aimed at increasing the body’s resistance to temperature changes. Hardening helps against SARS and other diseases – it’s useful and healthy, but it has nothing to do with trying to suddenly start pouring cold water on children or bathing in an ice hole. Hardening should be systemic. In addition, it should not injure the child and cause him discomfort.

Friends highly praise bronchomunal: they started giving the child during the next acute respiratory viral infection, drank the whole course, and the child has been less sick since then. What is this medicine, how does it work? Should we drink it too?

Bronchomunal belongs to the group of bacterial lysates – preparations that contain antigens from inactivated (that is, actually killed) bacteria. The idea of ​​these drugs is logical: like a vaccination, but without an injection. You drink beautiful capsules for half a year, antigens are absorbed and make your immunity resistant to bacteria. But, firstly, you need to understand that this whole story, by definition, has nothing to do with viruses (a virus and a bacterium are two very different enemies), and secondly, these are prophylactic drugs, so there is no point in drinking them during illness.

To be honest, I have not come across any sufficiently valid studies that would prove the effectiveness of bacterial lysates. Professional publications write that for this group of drugs “the evidence base is small.” That is, it is not known whether they actually work or not. I recommend in this case to adhere to the general rule: if you can do without any medicine, it is better not to take it.
In the kindergarten mothers from the parent committee are going to buy an ultraviolet recirculator, a device that kills microbes in the air, and this makes children less likely to transmit infections to each other. Is it worth it? The device is not very cheap, I do not want to spend money in vain.

Yes, now many people are starting to buy antiseptic dispensers, UV lamps, recirculators for schools and kindergartens… All these devices really work, but still I advise you to seriously think before you start using them.

First of all, dispensers and recirculators require constant technical inspection, specialized cleaning, control over the safety of equipment. Will kindergarten staff do all this? Will the mothers who buy the device take it upon themselves?

Further, all these wonderful devices were developed not for schools and kindergartens, but for operating rooms, scientific laboratories, hospital wards, where people with very serious illnesses and very weakened immunity lie … In general, for places where the air really needs to be close to sterile. For snotty children, harsh air cleaning in the room is an extra measure. In addition, it must be remembered that another microflora will always take the place of the killed microflora: the nature of emptiness does not tolerate.

The most important thing is that no devices will save you from the need to observe the rules of personal hygiene. Buying and hanging a lamp on the wall is a simple decision, but how to negotiate with caregivers so that they walk with the children as much as possible? How to persuade them to ventilate the rooms? What can be done to ensure that children wash their hands really well and thoroughly whenever they are told? This is what I urge you to think about and spend your energy on it.

Learn more about how to stop the string of colds and viruses in the series of webinars “How to Survive Autumn”

Adaptation of children

Obviously, somewhere in our subconsciousness it has taken root: once a child is three years old, it means that he needs to go to kindergarten. There he will develop better, he will make friends … Yes, and my mother should go to work. In a word, kindergarten is a necessity, it is one of all the steps of childhood, which must be climbed on time.

Just in time… And you, like everyone else, took your child to kindergarten. Here he walks for a day, a second, a week … Only for some reason you are not happy, but rather preoccupied with this. Your baby is almost unrecognizable, something is happening to him, as if he is suddenly “developing backwards.” He has a regression in everything he has achieved: in speech, skills, abilities, game. And all this in just a week! For any reason of hysteria, Panties can become wet again. He doesn’t eat anything and doesn’t sleep well. And… doesn’t want to go to kindergarten. Every day has excuses. He parted with tears, lamenting that no one loves him anymore, that he promises to be good, if only his mother was nearby. He laments so that his heart aches. Moreover, he grabs your skirt and, praying, looks into your eyes. He still does not make friends with anyone, and does not want to make friends. The teachers are complaining about him. The whole day he sits alone, not even talking to them, all ruffled, like a sparrow, glaring at the front door. Only the door creaks, and he is already rushing towards it with such speed, as if someone is chasing him. She will stand, she will see that it was not her mother who came, and she sits down again, waits again. On the first day, he could somehow be distracted by new toys, but now this does not work either.

Or maybe in the first days your baby was affected by the attractiveness of novelty, the joy of communicating with other children? He was proud to go to kindergarten like older children. Then, perhaps because the child was too quickly left to his own devices or felt lost among so many children, he now assessed his losses associated with entering kindergarten (familiar amenities, a small group of children with whom he was together with a nanny or in a manger, walking with his mother, etc.). And then the real drama is played out at the moment when it was no longer expected.

Why is the kindergarten not so nice? He himself repeated that he was bored, he himself wanted to play with the children. So he was only pretending? After all, in the end, they didn’t change the baby! “Changed” … “Changed” life and circumstances. He is what he should be. Don’t worry, it’s all natural. And of course, soon it will pass. Your child is just adjusting to the garden. He has an adjustment period.
What is adaptation?

Adaptation is the adaptation or adaptation of the body to a new environment. For a child, a kindergarten is undoubtedly a new, yet unknown space, with a new environment and new relationships.

Adaptation is usually difficult with a lot of negative changes in the child’s body. These shifts occur at all levels, in all systems. Only you usually see only the surface part of the iceberg – behavior. And if you knew what is happening in the body and soul of a child when he first goes to kindergarten, you would hardly ever send him to this new children’s team. In it, the baby is constantly in strong neuropsychic stress, which does not stop for a minute. He is on the verge of stress or fully feels stress.

Take a closer look at the child, is he healthy or is he sick? It seems to be neither. Your baby is in a special “third state” between health and illness. You experienced something similar when you were pregnant. But you can’t be in the “third state” all the time. Therefore, today or tomorrow, your child will either just get really sick, or become himself again. If the severity of stress in a child is minimal, you will soon forget about the negative shifts in the adaptation process and what worries you today. This will talk about easy or favorable adaptation.

If the stress is high, the child is likely to have a breakdown and is likely to become ill. A breakdown, as a rule, is a witness to an unfavorable or severe adaptation in a baby.

Let’s still clarify what provokes stress in a child in a similar situation.

To a large extent – separation from the mother. Of course, the baby is inextricably linked with you and the mother is the main thing that he had, or rather, is and will be. And suddenly, his beloved and most beautiful mother in the world left him to the mercy of fate among a terrible new environment and previously unfamiliar children who do not care about him. And in order to hold out in this new environment, he needs to behave here differently than at home. But he does not know this new form of behavior and suffers from it, fearing to do something wrong. And fear supports stress, and a vicious circle is formed, which, nevertheless, unlike all other circles, has an exact beginning – separation from the mother, separation from the mother, doubts about her altruistic love.

So, separation – fear – stress – failure of adaptation – illness… But all this is usually characteristic of a child with a difficult or unfavorable adaptation to kindergarten. With this type of adaptation, the process, as a rule, drags on for a long time and your child adapts to an organized team for months, and sometimes cannot adapt at all. Therefore, children with severe adaptation, which is usually predicted in a child even in a children’s clinic, should not be sent to kindergarten at the age of three, but if possible a little later, as their adaptation mechanisms improve.

By the way, 3-5-year-old boys are more vulnerable in terms of adaptation than girls, since during this period they are more attached to their mother and react more painfully to separation from her.

In addition, remember the crisis of three years, which can accumulate on the child’s adaptation period. At this time, the baby for the first time felt like a person and wants others to see it. And we, others, do not always see this or do not want to see it, it is easier for us to have everything as before. Therefore, the baby is all on the limit, defending his personality in front of us, and his psyche becomes more vulnerable to the effects of various environmental circumstances.

And here you are at the very time when the child is in dire need of you, when you need to spare his weakened nervous system, as if on purpose, in addition to the mental burden of the crisis of three years, you involuntarily place another heavy burden on the child’s shoulders – the burden adaptation to kindergarten, not realizing that all this will “break” him. And some of the children really “tear”, as evidenced by visible changes in the usual behavior of the child.
The degree of adaptation of the child to the conditions of kindergarten

Each kindergarten has its own well-established algorithm for adapting a child. Most often, the baby gets used to a new life according to this scheme:
To make it easier for the child to get to know the teachers and other children, the mother takes him several times for a daytime and evening walk. It is very important that the child sees the parents coming for the children;
the first week the baby is brought to nine o’clock so that he does not see the tears and negative emotions of other children when parting with his mother. It is desirable that the child be fed, because many babies refuse to eat in an unusual environment for them;
the first week, the mother is in the group with the kids so that he feels calmer. After a morning walk, the mother takes the child home;
the second week the baby stays in the group for the same time as in the first, but already without a mother. Mother comes to the end of the morning walk, and the child dine in her presence;
the third and fourth weeks the child can already stay for daytime sleep. Parents can pick him up as soon as he wakes up.

Children can be divided into three main groups according to how children adapt to kindergarten.

Severe degree of adaptation – children who react to a change in the situation with a nervous breakdown, colds are also added to this. This is the most unfavorable option.

Child behavior:
Contact with the child can only be established through the parents (in the worst case, the child cannot be contacted at all). The kid moves from one toy to another, without stopping on anything, he cannot develop play actions, he looks alarmed, withdrawn. The remark or praise of the educator leaves the child either indifferent, or he gets scared and seeks support from his parents. Very often, parents are in merger with the child, they doubt that he will be able to get comfortable in kindergarten. But gradually everything can be settled, and this largely depends on the situation at home.

Remember that a child with a difficult adaptation, in addition to you and caregivers, will only be helped by a pediatrician or a narrow specialist!

Average degree of adaptation – children without nervous disorders fall into this group – they “only” start to get sick often in kindergarten. Still, there is an “exchange” of all kinds of infections. Not all children can endure such a “vaccination” – many develop acute respiratory infections and other troubles. With this type of adaptation, the child’s morbidity can be reduced by a doctor. The sooner he prescribes corrective measures for the child, the less likely it is that your baby will get sick, which means that his adaptation will approach favorable. And this, in turn, will help your child adapt in the future, when he crosses the threshold of the school.

Child behavior:
The child makes contact by observing the attractive actions of the teacher, or through the inclusion of bodily sensations. The tension of the first minutes gradually subsides, the child can make contact on his own initiative, can deploy play actions. Responds adequately to comments and encouragement, may violate established rules and norms of behavior (social experimentation).

With this type of adaptation, the child, on average, adapts to a new organized team for more than a month and sometimes falls ill during adaptation. Moreover, as a rule, the disease proceeds without any complications, which can serve as the main sign of the difference between this type of adaptation and an unfavorable variant.

Easy adaptation – Finally, almost half of the children make up the most prosperous group – they attend kindergarten without much loss, more or less with desire. Usually the adaptation period is 3-4 weeks. There is almost no trouble with such a child, and the changes that you see in his behavior are usually short-lived and minor, so the child does not get sick.

Child behavior:
The child calmly enters the group, looks around carefully before stopping his attention on anything. He looks into the eyes of an unfamiliar adult when he addresses him. The child makes contact on his own initiative, may ask for help. He knows how to occupy himself, uses substitute objects in the game, for example, feeds a doll pretendingly, the mood is cheerful or calm, pantomime is expressive, emotions are easily recognized. The child adheres to the established rules of behavior, adequately responds to remarks and approval, correcting his behavior after them. He knows how to play next to other children, is friendly to them. The polar type for severe adaptation is the type of easy adaptation of the child, when your baby adapts to a new environment, usually for several weeks, most often for half a month.

Every child adjusts to kindergarten in their own way. One child will need only a week to adapt, and the other a whole month. The duration of addiction depends on many factors. It is necessary to take into account the temperament of the baby, his state of health, what is the situation in the family, and even how ready the parents themselves are for this important stage. Some children in the first days show serious aggression: they scratch, bite, throw themselves on the floor, throw the offered toys with fury. Sometimes it’s the other way around: the baby, after parting with his mother, closes in on himself and, being in extreme tension, barely restrains his sobs; sits, buried in one point, without touching either toys or food. So parents should be prepared for anything.

In order to judge this stage in more detail and as objectively as possible, psychologists have specially developed a number of necessary indicators that quite informatively characterize the behavioral characteristics and manifestation of emotions in a child adapting to a new organizational team, and the emotional portrait of a child who first entered a regular kindergarten .
Emotional portrait of a child entering an ordinary kindergarten for the first time

Negative emotions are, as a rule, the most important component that occurs in almost every child who adapts to a new organizational team for the first time.

Usually manifestations are different: from barely perceptible to depression, reminiscent of captivity. With her, the baby is depressed, oppressed and indifferent to everything in the world. He is, and at the same time he is not. He sits as if petrified, all immersed in himself. He doesn’t eat, doesn’t drink, doesn’t answer questions, it’s not worth talking about sleep at all … And suddenly the whole fossil disappears, and he rushes madly around the group, resembling a “squirrel in a wheel”. Like a whirlwind breaks out of the hands of nannies or caregivers and rushes to the exit, conflicting with everyone on the go. She freezes there, and then, sobbing, calls for her mother, choking in her own tears. But suddenly, powerlessly falls silent, again turning into a mannequin. And so several times a day.

Quite often, children express their negative emotions with a palette of crying: from whimpering to constant crying. But the most informative is paroxysmal crying, which indicates that for some time in the baby all negative emotions suddenly recede into the background due to the fact that they are pushed aside by positive ones. But, unfortunately, all this is only temporary. Most often at the time of the orienting reaction, when the baby is in the grip of novelty.

The palette of crying also includes “crying for the company”, with which your child, already almost adapted to the garden, supports the “newcomers” who have come to the group, and makes up a “crying duet” or simply sings along in the choir.

Usually, the longest of the negative emotions in a child is the so-called whimpering, with which he tries to protest when parting with his parents, who run away to work.

Fear is a common companion of negative emotions, their “colleague”, “companion” and “friend”. It is unlikely that you will be able to meet a child who has not experienced it at least once while adapting to kindergarten. After all, your baby, having come to the children’s team for the first time, only sees in everything a hidden threat to his existence in the world. Therefore, he is afraid of many things, and fear follows him literally on his heels. The kid is afraid of an unknown environment and meeting with unfamiliar children, the kid is afraid of new educators, and most importantly, that you will forget about him when you leave the garden for work. The kid is afraid that you have betrayed him, that you will not come for him in the evening to take him home… The kid is afraid… Very often we unwittingly provoke his global fear. And this fear is a source of stress, and its attacks can be regarded as triggers of stress reactions.

Anger: Sometimes, when stressed, a child’s anger breaks out, literally written on the face. At such a moment, your baby, like a small aggressor, is ready to jump on the offender like a panther, defending his innocence. During the period of adaptation, the child is like an “Achilles heel” and therefore so vulnerable that everything can serve as a reason for anger. Therefore, anger and the aggression it gives rise to can flare up, even if there is no spark, as if a powder keg were laid in the child himself.

Positive emotions are the counterbalance to all negative emotions and their main switch. Usually, in the first days of adaptation, they do not appear at all or are slightly expressed in those moments when the baby seems to be “drunk” with an indicative reaction to the “charm of novelty.” The easier your child adapts, the sooner they appear, similar to the first signs, announcing to everyone the completion of your child’s adaptation process. Joy is especially good. In general, a smile and a cheerful laugh are, perhaps, the main “medicines” that cure most of the negative shifts of the adaptation period.

Social contacts. As early as three years old, your baby usually likes to contact people, choosing the occasion for contact. The sociability of the child is a blessing for the successful outcome of the adaptation process. However, in the first days of being in a preschool institution, some kids lose this property. Such children are closed and unsociable, all the time they spend only in “proud solitude”. This “proud non-contact” is being replaced by “compromising contact”, which means that your child suddenly began to take the initiative to make contact with adults.

However, this initiative is illusory. The child needs it only as a way out of the current situation and is not aimed at improving communication with people, especially with peers. At such a moment, the baby usually, crying, runs up to the teacher, grabs her by the hand, tries to pull her to the front door and begs her to take him home. The kid is ready to compromise with the manager or the nanny, he even prays to the nurse … if not home, but only to be taken away from the group, to be taken away as soon as possible from these children who do not know how to behave. No, he does not want and cannot be friends with them. How much easier it was at home when he spent all his days alone.

Once your baby is finally able to establish the necessary contacts in the group, all the shifts in the adaptation period will subside – and this will be an important step towards completing the entire process of adaptation for your child.

Cognitive activity is usually a true “friend” of all positive emotions. Like them, cognitive performance tends to decline and fade away in the face of stress responses. At the age of three, this activity is closely connected with the game. Therefore, the baby, when he first came to kindergarten, is often not interested in toys and does not want to be interested in them. He does not want to get acquainted with his peers, to understand what is happening next to him. Your “why” seems to be in hibernation, and its cognitive activity is inhibited. However, once he wakes up, or eventually you wake him up, the stress activity will be minimal and soon disappear completely.

Social skills. Under the pressure of stress, your baby usually changes so much that he can “lose” almost all the self-care skills that he has long learned and successfully used at home. All this causes frequent ridicule among children and dissatisfaction with educators, who, as a rule, believe that your baby is not at all prepared for the garden. He has to be spoon-fed and washed like a baby. He “doesn’t know how” to dress, undress, and use a handkerchief. Doesn’t know when to say thank you. Well, in a word, a little savage. However, as the child adapts to the conditions of an organized team, he “remembers” the skills he suddenly forgot, in addition to them easily acquiring new ones.

Features of speech. In some babies, against the background of stress, speech also changes, not progressing, but in the direction of regression. The baby’s vocabulary is depleted, and he suddenly drops down a few steps, when talking to you, only using infantile or lightened words. Almost no nouns. Almost no adjectives. There are only verbs. And sentences from polysyllabic became monosyllabic. In response to questions – “telegraph style”. Such speech is the result of hard adaptation. With a mild one, it either does not change at all, or the described changes concern it a little. However, at this time, in any case, the replenishment of his active vocabulary, necessary for the age of the child, is difficult.

Motor activity. During the adaptation process, it rarely remains within the normal range. The child is severely retarded or uncontrollably hyperactive. However, try all the same not to confuse his activity, changed in connection with the process of adaptation, with the activity inherent in the child’s temperament.

Sleep. At first, there is no sleep at all, and in a quiet hour, the baby is like a “roly-poly”. You do not have time to put him down, as he is already sitting, sobbing, on the bed. As you get used to kindergarten, the child begins to fall asleep. But a dream can hardly be called a dream. It is restless, interrupted all the time by sobbing or sudden awakening. Sometimes it seems that the baby is haunted by nightmares. As if he is watching his dream on TV, where he clearly sees what is happening to him. However, the film has only a terrible beginning, the kid is afraid to watch the end. And in order not to really see him, in fright, crying, interrupts sleep. And only when the child adapts to the garden, he will really be able to quietly spend his quiet time and sleep peacefully.

Appetite. The less favorably your child adapts, the worse his appetite, sometimes completely absent, as if the child goes on a hunger strike. Much less often, your baby suddenly falls into the other extreme, and eats no less than Gargantua, trying to somehow satisfy his unmet needs with his “wolf” appetite. Normalization of reduced or increased appetite, as a rule, signals to all of us that the negative shifts in the adaptation process are not increasing, but are declining, and all other indicators of the emotional portrait described above will soon normalize.

Under stress, your child may lose weight, but, having adapted, he will easily and quickly not only restore his original weight, but also begin to recover in the future.
How easy is it for the child to join the group?

It depends on many factors, and above all on how motivated the child is to go to kindergarten and how much parents are not afraid of it. Often, parents almost dissuade a child from kindergarten – and sometimes successfully. It is always difficult for the only children in the family to get used to kindergarten or nursery, especially those who are overprotected, dependent on their mother, accustomed to exclusive attention, and unsure of themselves.
For adults, we certainly recognize the difference in temperaments, the difference in characters, but with the same unconditional war with children when they behave “in their own way.” But it’s obvious: it’s more difficult for choleric and phlegmatic people to adapt to kindergarten than for more balanced, moderately mobile and moderately slow sanguine people. Cholerics, especially boys, do not easily endure the lack of activity and movement in kindergarten, where barracks order sometimes turns out to be the ideal and where unreasonably principled educators make countless remarks. But slow children have the hardest time: they are endlessly driven, hurried, scolded, since they do not keep up with the general pace of kindergarten life, they cannot quickly get dressed, get ready for a walk, eat. And if the teacher does not understand the problems of such a child, then he begins to spur him on even more, while emotional stress acts in such a way that the child slows down even more, becomes even more lethargic, indifferent.

At the same time, we should not forget that the behavior and development of a small child is also affected by the state of his health. A weakened, sickly child can be capricious, irritable, or, on the contrary, lethargic, gets tired quickly. He may lag behind in physical development, have lower indicators in terms of height and weight, and the development of movements. All this is especially evident in the very first days of visiting a kindergarten.

As a rule, weak children have more difficulty adapting to new conditions. They get sick more often, it is more difficult to experience separation from loved ones. It happens that the child does not cry, does not express outwardly negative manifestations, but loses weight, does not play, is depressed. His condition should worry the educators no less than those children who cry, the names of their parents.

Children with a weak type of nervous system require special attention. They are very painful to endure any changes in the conditions of life and upbringing. Their emotional state is disturbed at the slightest trouble, although they do not express their feelings violently. Everything new scares them and is given with great difficulty. They are not confident in movements and actions with objects, they acquire the necessary skills more slowly than other children of the same age. Such children should be accustomed to a children’s institution gradually, and people close to them should be involved in this. At the same time, it is recommended to constantly encourage and encourage children, to help them learn new things.

Ignoring the typological features of the child’s nervous system by the teacher during the period of adaptation to kindergarten can lead to complications in his behavior. So, for example, strict exactingness in insecure, uncommunicative children causes tears, unwillingness to be in kindergarten, a sharp tone of treatment causes excessive excitement and disobedience in excitable children.

Of course, the type of the nervous system is not always clearly manifested. The same baby in different situations can behave differently, especially during the period of adaptation. Even a calm and sociable child, when parting with loved ones, begins to cry and ask to go home, it is not easy to get used to new requirements, and part with some established habits.

The child’s behavior under the influence of established habits also acquires an individual character. If he does not know how to eat on his own, then in kindergarten he refuses to eat, waiting to be fed. If he does not know how to wash his hands in a new environment, he cries; does not know where to get a toy – cries; not used to sleeping without motion sickness – crying; he is used to having a scarf tied in front, and in the kindergarten they tied him in the back – he cries, etc. Therefore, it is so important to know the child’s habits, to reckon with them.

Ignorance of the child’s habits greatly complicates the work of the educator. His pedagogical influences become spontaneous, unfocused and often do not give the desired result.

Conflicts in the family, lack of sociability of parents will also be a complicating factor in adaptation. Children involuntarily learn the negative traits of their parents’ behavior, which complicates their relationships with peers. They behave insecurely and indecisively, worry a lot, doubt, therefore they cannot be accepted in the group.

If you notice that your child is having adjustment problems, try talking to the caregiver. your child needs constant attention and support from his side, because. other children tend to tease and hurt the weaker and more dependent. At the same time, of course, the excessive exactingness and adherence to principles of the educator will be a serious brake.

If adaptation to a nursery or kindergarten has not occurred for 1 year or more, then this is a signal to parents that the child is not all right and you need to contact a specialist.
According to the observations of psychologists, the average period of adaptation in the norm is:
In a manger – 7-10 days;
In kindergarten at 3 years – 2-3 weeks;
At senior preschool age – 1 month.

Another cold

How to treat the objective fact that a child often gets sick in the garden? After all, even a recognized authority – Dr. Benjamin Spock – notes: “It must be admitted that in kindergarten children catch colds more often than at home.” And there are obvious reasons for this. Any change in living conditions that requires adaptation is a strong stressor for the body. Stress, in particular, manifests itself in the fact that the child weakens, his resistance to diseases decreases. In addition, in the children’s team, the probability of infection of the child is much higher than at home. Any healthy baby can be a carrier of microorganisms to which he himself does not react, since they are “their own” for him, and for another they can cause illness. And mothers sometimes think that the child in the garden “has caught a cold.”

The most important thing to keep in mind is that the cause of constant colds and chronic acute respiratory infections is often not medical at all, but psychological. One of the well-known mechanisms of psychological defense is called the flight into the disease. Do not think that the child catches a cold on purpose, dreaming of staying at home. He experiences this desire implicitly, unconsciously, without being aware of it. And the body obeys this hidden tendency: it begins to demonstrate an amazing weakness, easily falls under any negative influence, refuses to resist a cold. Any measures to harden and strengthen the body, of course, are justified and expedient. But no less important are parental efforts to restore the spiritual harmony of the child. Often, having achieved emotional balance, it is possible to overcome the tendency to disease.

What steps can parents take to this end? First of all, you need to make sure that not only your child is “suitable” for kindergarten, but that a particular kindergarten is suitable for your child. After all, it’s no secret that kindergarten is different. Parents should make sure that the atmosphere of the institution they have chosen is quite favorable and comfortable.

In addition, doctors recommend a ten-day course of vitamin therapy during the period of adaptation to prevent acute respiratory diseases. In the next six months, such courses should be repeated every 1.5 months. The positive effect of drugs that improve cell metabolism has been proven to reduce the incidence of acute respiratory viral infections during the period of adaptation.
How should parents behave with a child when he first started attending kindergarten?

Full adaptation of the child to kindergarten is possible not earlier than in 2-3 months. And during this entire period, care must be taken that the child does not feel too keenly the gap between his former and present life. For example, try as often as possible to take him to kindergarten or pick him up from there. If he dine in the garden, you should pay more attention to dinner, and on the day off you can make a menu at the request of the child. Show as much interest as possible in his activities in kindergarten, listen carefully to his stories, save the drawings and applications that he brings; curiosity and the desire for action arise and develop (as well as the ability to talk or walk) with the benevolent and patient participation of adults, thanks to their constant encouragement.

If you want to know more about how your child is doing in kindergarten, play with homemade toys in kindergarten. Let one of these toys be the child himself. Watch what this toy does, what it says, help your child find friends for her and offer a solution to his problem through it, orienting the game towards a positive result.

Do not overestimate the child’s negative experiences. It has been observed that even those children who, with sobs, beg their mother not to leave them in the garden, calm down a few minutes after her departure and join in the games with their comrades. If the child feels that by his protests he managed to sow doubts or even a feeling of guilt in the mother’s heart, then with redoubled persistence he will begin to influence her by all available means. Parents can share responsibilities in such a way that at first the father takes the child to the garden: fathers are generally more sober about the emotional reactions of children.

At first, the child may be very tired in kindergarten: new experiences, new friends, new activities, a large number of people. If a child comes home exhausted and nervous, this does not mean that his adaptation is difficult. It just takes time for the baby to get used to the new routine.

Educators recommend:
Set the child in a major way. To inspire him that it is very great that he has grown to the garden and has become so big.
When you leave, part with your child easily and quickly. Of course, you are worried about how he will be in kindergarten, but long farewells with a worried expression on his face will cause the baby to worry that something might happen to him here, and he will not let you go for a long time.
If the child is very hard going through separation from his mother, then it is desirable that the first few weeks of the child were taken away by the father, grandmother or grandfather. Do not leave him in the preschool team for the whole day, take him home as early as possible.
Create a calm, conflict-free climate for him in the family.
Spare his weakened nervous system.
Do not increase, but reduce the load on the nervous system. For a while, stop going to the circus, to the theater, to visit. Significantly reduce TV viewing.
As soon as possible, inform the doctor and caregivers about the personal characteristics of the baby.
Do not wrap your child, but dress him as necessary in accordance with the temperature in the group.
Create on Sundays at home for him the regime is the same as in a children’s institution.
Do not respond to the antics of the child and punish him for children’s whims.
If there is a change in the child’s usual behavior, contact a pediatrician or psychologist as soon as possible.
With severe neurotic reactions, leave the baby at home for a few days and follow all the instructions of the specialist.

Three days in kindergarten – a week on sick leave, or Why a child gets sick in kindergarten

One day, the long-awaited day for parents comes when the child goes to kindergarten. It would seem that, finally, mom can calmly go to work, but very soon, children’s tears of morning separation are added … a runny nose, cough, fever.

After a week or two, the sick leave closes, the child goes to the kindergarten again, but after a few days he “squishes his nose” again. Such a vicious circle can last long enough: pediatricians say from 3-4 months to a year. What are the difficulties of adaptation, how to help the child’s body and avoid complications of the disease – these and other questions are answered by Alla Beganskaya , head of the pediatric department of the ME “Brest City Children’s Clinic No. 1”.

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– When to send a child to kindergarten is more of a pedagogical issue, and yet… What do pediatricians think about this?

– No matter how good the kindergarten is, 80% of children get sick during the adaptation period. And this is absolutely normal. Naturally, parents are alarmed and want to get out of the endless sick leave as soon as possible. But it would be good to think about the upcoming difficulties in advance, even before September. There is no need to postpone the start of visiting the garden for autumn, it is better to go in August, while it is still warm. It is more correct not to leave the child immediately for the whole day, but to increase the time spent in the garden gradually. Now all conditions are being created for soft adaptation: in many kindergartens there are groups for temporary stay of children aged 2 to 3 years, where kids come with their mothers, get used to the new environment and regimen. And this is very correct. Some parents introduce the child to the garden in this way: first they take them for a walk to the territory of the kindergarten, then they show a group where he will play with other children, a bedroom, a dining room, they introduce him to teachers and nannies . .. All this forms a positive perception of kindergarten.

– Parents often say that the child rarely got sick before kindergarten or did not get sick at all. But as soon as he went, illnesses one after another. What is it connected with?

– There are two main reasons: a new way of life and a new environment. The child begins to live according to a new regime. At home, he ate and slept when he wanted, the schedule of walks was different … Once in the garden, the children feel the pressure of the new rhythm of life, and it is natural that their body is under stress. The psycho-emotional state affects physical health and, of course, the immune system – the body’s susceptibility to viruses and bacteria decreases. And in kindergarten, in a new environment, the child is faced with new types of viruses and bacteria for his body. While the child was at home and lived surrounded by relatives, he “got acquainted” with the types of bacteria typical of his family. In contact with other children, he encounters bacteria typical of their families. There is an exchange and, as a result, infection. Most diseases are acute infections, most often viral respiratory (affect the respiratory tract). However, the number of circulating viruses is not infinite. Each transferred disease forms immunity, reducing the probability of the next . It is worse if the child does not get sick in kindergarten: most likely, he will get sick at school, and this is much more difficult. Firstly, he will miss classes, and secondly, diseases, as a rule, are more difficult.

It is also important how quickly a new group fills up with children. If, say, all children gather within 10 days, then the process of exchanging viruses and bacteria goes faster. If 7-10 children go to the group at regular intervals, and then after six months the rest begin to enter, the adapted ones will get sick again. Therefore, it is important to fill the group at the same time.

– Parents often believe that children’s illnesses are the result of neglect of kindergarten workers: sometimes they dressed too lightly, sometimes they dressed too much, there was a draft in the group, or, conversely, heat and dry air … strict sanitary norms and rules developed over the years. Everything is documented to the smallest detail: the temperature in the groups and the bedroom, the schedule for cleaning and airing the premises, the diet, sleep, games, and much more. The Center for Hygiene and Epidemiology strictly monitors compliance with sanitary rules. In addition, there are medical workers in the gardens who are observers and guarantors of high-quality cleaning and compliance with all standards.