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Friendship circle: a warm oasis – or a source of creative boldness

– In March, the traditional church-public conference of the Transfiguration Brotherhood will be held. This year’s theme is “Friendly Circle as the Beginning of Conciliarity and Solidarity in Russia”. The conference was co-founded by the St. Philaret Orthodox Christian Institute and the Anna Akhmatova Museum in the Fountain House. I would like to summarize immediately before the conference. What path was passed by the organizers of the conference from the first idea to the final preparation? What did you come to?

Yulia Balakshina: In short, in the process of preparing the conference, we were convinced that friendly circles in our society have both social potential and personal, anthropological. Starting the preparation of the conference, we relied on the observations and reflections of our predecessors in this topic. In particular, in 2009 the European University in St. Petersburg hosted the conference “Friendship. Essays on the theory of practices. It was mainly attended by sociologists who came to the right conclusion that it is important to analyze the phenomenon of friendship in modern Russia from the point of view of its social and partly political (in the Greek sense of the word) potential. It is difficult to form a civil society in Russia, and stable and creative communities of people rarely emerge. Most often, people unite in situations of trouble, crisis. But the crisis passes, and these associations fall apart, they turn out to be too temporary, unstable. On the other hand, everyone will agree that in Russia everyone is very fond of making friends, everyone has some kind of friendly circles, friendly ties, and everyone somehow trusts this friendship, these friendly relations. Although, of course, today friendship is far from the “free union of noble people” that Aristotle wrote about.

Trust in friendship in Russia is probably associated with the peculiarities of the mentality and the state. Friendly relations are very intimate, personal, not amenable to institutionalization – warming the soul. On the other hand, since friendship is connected precisely with the sphere of personal relations between people, it easily leaves the zone of ideological pressure and state control. This is that private sphere of life in which a person remains true to himself and to that chosen circle of friends that no one can impose on him. That is why our colleagues from the European University raised the question that friendship in Russia has a unique meaning and great potential. It is it that makes it possible to gradually, at the micro-level, form society. I would like to hope that if we can see, evaluate the potential of friendship, and the friendly circles themselves can get out of their isolation on themselves and begin to communicate and be friends with each other, then this will lead to the formation of a special “field”, “space” of these friendly circles, within which positive social action will be born.
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– Does this apply to any group of friends?

– I will immediately say that when we set ourselves the task of convening a conference dedicated to friendly circles, we immediately tried to outline how a friendly circle differs from a circle, a company, a mafia gathering . .. Now, before the start of the conference, which, I I hope it will open up new meanings, I would name two main criteria for a friendly circle. The first is a certain quality of communication, genuine, deep, personal relationships that connect people, and not just relationships of like-minded people, comrades-in-arms, followers of the same idea or some scientific concept. The second is the social, positive action I talked about above. In other words, a circle of friends is more than just a company that enjoys spending weekends or vacations together. This is a circle of people who are able to go outside, see some problem, some task outside of themselves and start solving it, serving something more than ensuring the existence of their own circle.

We started with the fact that the circle of friends has some kind of positive impulse for the life of society as a whole, and when we began to get acquainted with the really existing circles of friends, we realized that the circle of friends is very important for the formation and life of every person. After all, a person can open up, gain a personal dimension of his life only in trusting, genuine deep communication. Therefore, while we have few examples of real church communities, the circle of friends can become the environment in which such personal communication is born.

It so happened that we have moved from social problems to anthropological problems – to the fact that it is the circle of friends that makes it possible to discover and realize the diverse gifts that a person has. Although, probably, a circle of friends is not the limit of the depth of human communication, which in general, in principle, is achievable.

– Are there any peculiarities in the program, in the idea of ​​holding the conference?

– The conference will consist of two parts. The first part will be devoted to those friendly circles that existed in the history of Russia. We tried to present in the program the most significant events that really left a mark on the history and culture of the country. Of course, we will talk about Westernizers and Slavophiles, about the Priyutin Brotherhood and about some, perhaps less known, but no less interesting, as it seems to us, phenomena, such as the circle of Zinaida Volkonskaya or the circle that Polenov gathered in his estate.

We also tried to identify those friendly circles that existed in the church. It turned out to be not very easy, but, nevertheless, reports and messages on this topic will also be: in particular, about the friendly circle that was formed around the brotherhood of Nikolai Nikolayevich Neplyuev, about the friendly circle that was the core of the “32” group Petersburg priests, and so on…

The second part of the conference will be devoted to those friendly circles that exist today. We tried to find representatives of such friendly circles that today and now, in modern Russia, are showing creative initiative. For example, we noticed that almost all volunteer movements are based on some kind of friendly circle. Once upon a time, friends got together, saw that there was some kind of need in the life of society, there was some kind of pain that they could not get past, and they got involved in this situation, began to really help. Over time, an institution, an organization could emerge from a friendly circle, but as a rule, they try to maintain the nature of friendly relations in such a volunteer organization. Representatives of such organizations, I hope, will be with us at the conference. There will also be people who have managed to raise some kind of educational institutions from their friendly circles, people who work together on social issues and the restoration of historical memory. It is planned that representatives of creative and scientific friendly circles will also be at the conference.

In the second part, not reports are planned, but round tables, during which we would like to discuss the real issues and problems that friendly circles face, including the question of how fruitful or harmful it is for a friendly circle to grow into an institution. We will also talk about whether friendly circles are possible in the modern church and how its problems affect their appearance or disappearance.

We plan to talk about how the energy of free action is born from a circle of friends, how people really begin to think about how they can help not only themselves, but also others. Of course, we will talk about the fact that for modern society, a circle of friends is a compensatory phenomenon, an attempt by people to escape from the difficulties and problems of the modern world, or, on the contrary, the potential for growth and evidence that over time these friendly circles will become the basis of a whole, healthy, responsible society in Russia.

Another part of the plan of the organizers is the remembrance evenings, to which we would like to invite people who had experience of friendship circles in the 60s, 70s, 80s. It is known that such significant circles were in the theatrical, literary, scientific, church world of Moscow. We tried to find their participants and invite them over a cup of tea, in a friendly circle of conference participants, to remember how they lived and made friends, what was the foundation of communication in their friendly circle, what caused his disappearance or what forces helped him to survive.

Of course, we are approaching the final stage of preparing the conference with some anxiety, because the circle of friends is a very internal, very personal phenomenon, and it is difficult to define it, to describe it in some stable scientific categories. Yes, people experience the reality of this friendly circle and appreciate it very much, but often they are afraid to talk about it so as not to lose this innermost value of their lives. There are some things that people do not want to expose, which really belong to the sphere of their personal existence only, and it is not very clear how to talk about it publicly.

Therefore, on the one hand, of course, the topic of the conference arouses interest and even some kind of inspiration for many people, but on the other hand, the question remains whether we will be able to find the right tone, the right key to talking about friendly circles, overcome excessive objectivity or subjectivity.

Let’s hope that with God’s help these obstacles will be overcome, that the conference will not only take place in fact, but also take place as a spiritual event, and answers to the most important questions will be found.

– There is a crisis in the world of war, and the Preobrazhensky Brotherhood gathers friendly circles… Yes, it is very joyful to listen to the story about this, you get inspired only by listing the names, but on the other hand, the organizing committee really believes that this is the edge, the nerve of today day? Why is this conference now?

– Maybe this is one of those questions that will have to be answered, that’s why one of the round tables is called “The circle of friends in modern society: a compensatory phenomenon or the norm of social life?”. Of course, a circle of friends for many of us is a kind of “niche”, an oasis that allows us to preserve our little harmony, our small community of friends amidst the storms and unrest that shake the modern world. Remember how Ilya Ilyich Oblomov dreamed of a small colony of friends who would listen to music together, read books, and think about some lofty problems. But this community must be firmly fenced off from the rest of the world, otherwise it will be impossible to escape on this small island of friendship – the waves of the world will swallow it up. But we have hope that the circle of friends also has another potential – the potential of boldness, creative openness, access to the world, to people, that the creative energy that is born inside the circle of friends is the energy of unity. After all, a circle of friends is a place where people learn to trust each other, learn to hear each other.

– How does the fact that its organizers are believers, Orthodox, affect the conference? Is this influence only in the fact that there is an interest in friendly circles within the church?

– There is another topic that worries us – the relationship between the circle of friends and the community. A friendly circle is a space that a person chooses himself, it includes people who are close to him in terms of values, interests, cultural level, lifestyle. A community is a community of people, which, as we believe, is gathered by the Lord Himself. These people can be very different, and the ties between them are held together by the unity of faith, trust, which is based on the action of the Holy Spirit and love for the One Father. These people are connected through kinship in Christ. And perhaps, nevertheless, for the modern world, it is the communal principle that can turn out to be more reliable and more healing …

Friendship circle | Eclectic Magazine

There are things that are so self-evident that you don’t specifically think about them because you don’t doubt their meaning and existence. Friendship is the reality of human life. I would like to say – a given. Is this the case even now?

[one_half] We are used to the fact that friends are just there. Near or across the ocean, on the wire – arriving by SOS much faster than 911, in touch – responding to our yet unspoken requests. They are like an invisible circle in which there is no tension, but only a sense of connectedness. And no matter how much time has passed since the day of the meeting, it is worth seeing each other, as you feel that you have not parted. And, it is clear that hundreds of online friends will not replace living and real friends. Or?..

Is friendship really a value now? Or rather, a tool to advance and achieve your goals? Who does not remember the immortal Carnegie – the first American-style teacher of social success for the “scoops” untouched by civilization? Or maybe now it’s just an excuse to talk about the past in Odnoklassniki, forgetting childhood feuds, sticking to each other according to the principle “I’ve known you since childhood”? What is so important in the lessons of friendship, when the main thing is a personal career? Are we friends for profit or social grounds? The rich – separately, the poor – separately, dubious averages – separately? Are we friends live or as avatars? Against someone or every man for himself?

Frank talk

We were tormented by doubts. But realizing that “Fashion for communication” is a colossal reason to talk about the main thing, we decided. Down with remote surveys, let’s drop anonymity, nicknames, avatars and other instagrams! Face to face – and nothing else.

With our friends from the Talk Club, we decided to move from words to deeds: get together and talk about friendship. After all, if you don’t talk about values, then they eventually disappear from sight, blur, dissolve, and then it turns out that the things taken for granted have not only not been understood for a long time, but also do not exist. We started with the pretty one: “o[/one_half][one_half_last]

lives here and now”, then “inspirational reading for those who seek…” And now we are ready to declare the meaning of what we do publicly: the values ​​of our life. It is ours – in our country, in our language, in our Russian universe, which, being a “communication node”, has absorbed enormous world wealth. Ours – because we are those who live here and now, and we are the bearers of wealth, no matter how we think about ourselves, no matter what trials we send.