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How to Get Your Kids to Do Chores

The idea that kids should learn to do chores for some abstract reason—like duty or responsibility—sounds good on paper, but has very little practical application in a child’s life. It just doesn’t work as a strategy.

But there are practical steps you can take to get your kids to do their chores.

Getting kids to do chores is one of the most common arguments families have. We yell at our child, “Why haven’t you cleaned your room yet?” while our child is on the couch watching YouTube, shouting back, “I’ll do it later!” Or they say nothing and just ignore us.

The choice shouldn’t be excitement or chore. The choice should be boredom or chore.

But the reason kids don’t like doing chores is the same reason adults don’t like doing chores: household tasks are generally boring. And most kids are not mature enough to understand that if they work quickly and finish their chores, they will be rewarded by getting back to their fun.

Instead, they pout, procrastinate, and drag their feet all to avoid 20 or 30 minutes of what is relatively easy work.

If you feel like you’re constantly nagging your kids to do their household chores, here are six practical steps you can take.

1. End the Distractions for Your Child

If your child is not doing his chores, you simply end whatever is distracting him. More than likely, this means the electronics get turned off. And they don’t come back on until the chores are done.

Then talk to him about it. But keep it brief. Ask him what he thinks is going on and what’s getting in the way of doing his assigned tasks.

Find out what his plans are after he’s finished. Motivate him to get the work done so that he can move on to what he wants to do.

Appealing to a child’s self-interests—rather than explaining the abstract concept of responsibility or duty—is generally much more effective for kids.

2. Set a Time Limit for Chores

Time limits are a good way to get your child to comply with doing chores. You can say:

“All right, the dishes have to be done in 20 minutes.”

If she hasn’t done them in 20 minutes, then your child’s bedtime is set earlier. Or she loses some electronics time. This creates a cost associated with her foot-dragging.

The beauty of this system is that you’re not constantly nagging anymore. Instead, you’re just keeping time. You can even use a cooking timer with an alarm. The next night, you can say:

“Let’s not repeat what happened last night—remember, you didn’t enjoy going to bed earlier.”
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Another timing strategy parents can use is to motivate your child to compete with herself. You can say:

“Let’s see if you can get it done in 15 minutes tonight. But remember, you have to do it right. I’m going to check.”

You can even give her an incentive:

“If you get it done within 15 minutes, you can stay up 15 minutes later. Or you can stay online 15 minutes more.”

Then it becomes more exciting and stimulating for the child. While your child won’t lose anything if she doesn’t get the task done, she will gain something if she does.

This kind of reward system is always preferable to one in which the kid loses something because it’s more motivational and less punitive—you’re giving your child an incentive to do better.‌

3. Use an Allowance as Leverage

I think if parents are financially able to give kids an allowance, they should do it. And parents should make the allowance tied to their kids’ chores.

For example, if your child has to be told more than once to do his chores, he would lose a part of his allowance. Perhaps a dollar. And each time you remind him, he loses another dollar.

It is also appropriate to give that part of his allowance to a sibling who does the chore instead. This way, you’re not working on the chore, you’re working on the communications process, as well as your child’s motivation.

4. Create a Structure for Chores

Structure is essential when it comes to completing household tasks. I believe there should be a set time when chores are to be done.

Evenings are usually the best time for chores during the school year because doing chores in the morning just adds to the stress and intensity of getting to school on time. In the summer, though, I recommend doing chores in the morning to get them out of the way before the day starts.

In general, before the video games or any electronics go on, make it a rule that your child’s bed has to be made, his clothes should be in the hamper, and his room is tidy. This way, he’s starting to learn that his responsibilities have to be met before he can have free time.

Again, you never want to be pulling your child back from something exciting in order to do something mundane and boring. Rather, you want to get them to work through the mundane and boring things to get to something exciting.
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Sometimes as a parent, you have to ask yourself, “if my child isn’t doing his chores, what is he doing?” You really have to be aware of how your child is using his time. If he’s not doing his chores because he’s playing on the computer or reading a comic book, you’ve got to stop that pattern.

In the end, the choice shouldn’t be excitement or chore. The choice should be boredom or chore. Kids have to understand that until chores are finished, they don’t get to have fun. No electronics until chores are done and no going out with friends until chores are done. The alternative to doing their chores needs to be boredom.

With this kind of structure in place, most kids will eventually choose to do their chores and then get on with the things that they want to do.

Finally, set aside time when all the kids in your family are doing their chores at once. So your 15-year-old might be unloading the dishwasher while your 11-year-old is taking out the garbage. That way, no one feels as if they’re missing out or being punished by having to complete their tasks. It’s just chore time.‌

5. Don’t Use Chores as a Punishment

Don’t use chores as a punishment or as a consequence. If somebody misbehaves and does something wrong, don’t give them a consequence of doing the dishes, for example. You want your child to learn that a chore is an expected responsibility to be done no matter what.

Only use chores as a consequence when your child does something wrong to another sibling. In order to make amends—to right the wrong—they do that person’s chore for them. That’s a physical way of saying, “I was wrong to do that, and I’m doing your chore to show you that I’m sincere.”

Related content: How to Give Kids Consequences That Work

6.

Use a Reward System

If you want kids to take responsibility for their chores, integrate their tasks with a reward system. Put a chart on the refrigerator with each child’s name on it, with their chores listed next to their names. If they make their bed promptly and do it right, they get a checkmark. When they get five checkmarks, they get a reward. Maybe it’s staying up an hour later. Maybe it’s having more screen time one night.

In my opinion, electronics don’t have to be on every waking hour. Just because they have a phone or tablet doesn’t mean the child has to be using it all the time. Each child should get their allotted screen time, and then screen time is over. If they want more, they should have to earn it. This allows you to use electronics time as a reward.

Related content: Free Downloadable Chore Chart for Children

Kids might understand that doing the dishes is part of their role in the family, but they’re not going to feel it in some significant way. Chores are work, and in that sense, very few of us like to work unless we’re getting rewarded for it. And the reward has to be something we like.

If my boss had paid me in carrots, I wouldn’t have worked much at all—because one or two carrots and I’m all set. Kids have the same motivating principle. They want a reward in a currency that’s meaningful.

Conclusion

Getting your child to do chores becomes a battle when you allow it to grow into one. If you’re standing over your kids telling them over and over again to “empty the dishwasher, mow the lawn, clean the kitchen,” and they’re digging their heels in and still not complying, then you are in a battle. And as the parent, you need to end the battle.

If you don’t end the battle, you get caught in a nagging cycle. And the problem with nagging, of course, is that it doesn’t work. So, replace your nagging with the tips above and put an end to the chore battle once and for all.

Related content:
Power Struggles: Are You at War with a Defiant Child?
How to Create a Culture of Accountability in Your Home
“My Kid Won’t Get Out of Bed” Stop the Morning Madness Now

How to bring things to an end

David Marcu/Unsplash. com

Greg Rakozy/Unsplash.com

Frustration and lack of perseverance are the main reasons why we never achieve mastery in different activities, whether it is learning a foreign language, mastering a musical instrument or chef skills.

4 reasons why we give up:

Getting Harder

There are six great ways to overcome all these barriers.

They will help you become more persistent and reach your goal.

One who conquered a high peak is not like a person standing at the foot of a mountain. It’s not enough to just set a goal. You have to think big.

Nitish Meena/Unsplash.com

You can’t just go ahead and set a goal. Taken from the ceiling, the task will fall apart like a house of cards.

The more serious the goal, the more confidence and perseverance in achieving it. We are ready to try when we are aware of the responsibility for others: family, friends, clients.

The way of thinking, in which motivation depends on external factors, is called “antelope psychology”. The antelope runs fast, but only slightly faster than the lion that is chasing it. When the lion stops, the antelope also slows down.

A big goal creates intrinsic motivation and switches the brain from “antelope mode” to “lion mode”.

Swap self-centered goals for big projects that will impact loved ones. This will help to focus on the benefits of achieving the goal, and not on the difficulties.

Find something more important than you.
Daniel Dennett, Philosopher

Perseverance is born in you. You have to believe that everything is possible. The best way is to communicate with people who have achieved results on the path you have chosen.

Olu Eletu/Unsplash.com

Think you’re too old to learn a foreign language? Yes, the world is full of fifty-year-old leaders who do not have such energy as in their youth, and there is no free time. But they are learning to speak a foreign language.

Do you think bad genes prevent you from losing weight? What about overweight people who lose more than 20 kg per year?

Think of Roger Bannister and his record run. Until 1954, no one imagined that a mile (1609 meters) could be run in less than four minutes. Just a year later, the record was repeated. It has become such a common achievement that more than 20,000 people have already been able to boast of it, and among them there are even schoolchildren.

This is the power of confidence and suggestion. If you know that someone has already done this, then you are sure that it is possible. When you have a clearly defined goal, confirmation that you can achieve a result, you put the reticular activating system into operation. It helps the brain determine what to focus on and what information to discard.

As a result, attention will be directed to the right things.

Look for a teacher, mentor or interest group, responsible partner. So you will move further than alone.

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with someone.

Our ego is an obstacle on the way to the goal. As soon as you stop proving something to others, the problem of protecting your ego fades into the background, and strength is given to pumping skills.

Jordan McQueen/Unsplash.com

Stanford University researcher Carol Dweck, author of The New Psychology of Success, calls this mindset the growth mindset. Unlike people with a fixed mindset who need success to prove their status as a smart person, people with a growth mindset capitalize on challenges and see failure as a catalyst for growth and a key to new opportunities.

After 20 years of research, Dweck has found that a growth mindset helps build happy relationships, succeed, and overcome adversity.

And James Clear’s graph illustrates how behavior changes: permanent and lasting change starts with building a new personality, not chasing external attributes.

It has to be, not to seem.

Kevin Kruse has studied the successful habits of billionaires, Olympians and entrepreneurs. And I found that when talking about their accomplishments, none of them mentioned a to-do list.

belchonock/Depositphotos.com

According to Cruz, lists have weaknesses.

Lists do not take time into account. When we have a list of tasks before our eyes, we take on those that can be done quickly, and put off the items that require more time to complete for later. And we don’t do them. A study by iDoneThis found that 41% of tasks on to-do lists remain unfinished.

Lists do not show the difference between important and urgent. Again, we instinctively try to cope with tasks close to the deadline, and do not notice important things behind this race (by the way, have you done fluorography for a long time?).

Lists cause stress. In psychology, the Zeigarnik effect is known: unfinished tasks cause obsessive thoughts about them. It’s no surprise that we end up feeling terribly overwhelmed during the day and suffering from insomnia at night.

Instead of making to-do lists, make a schedule-calendar in which you organize your tasks.

The schedule will help you prioritize and take into account the time for doing things: for example, memorizing 30 new words a day or studying a foreign language every morning.

How to make it?

1. Write down the necessary actions that will help you achieve your short-term goals

Break down a large goal into modest chunks and write down what actions will help you achieve what you want. For example, if you want to learn how to speak fluently in a foreign language for a minute, you need to learn 20 common words every day.

2. Set aside free time

Your free time can be hidden in the early hours of the morning before work, at lunchtime, in relaxation after a working day. Try to stick to a work and rest schedule during the week to distribute your energy for daily work.

3. Consider a 15-30 minute margin

Plans are constantly changing: you can oversleep, work late, and many unexpected events can happen. We are arranged in such a way that we are ready to abandon all the planned affairs if the planned order is violated at least in one point. Do not do it this way! If you know that you have an unstable nature, add a 30-minute margin of time to each task. If you are punctual, 9 is enough for you0017 15 minutes in reserve.

4. High Priority Tasks

Instead of focusing on several things at the same time, single out one high priority task among your short-term goals. This is important so as not to overload yourself. And in the list of actions that are needed to achieve the goal, select one that is critical to the result. Take care of them.

5. Set reminders

Plans are constantly changing: you can oversleep or stay late at work. Man is a forgetful creature, and reminders will help to keep the distance at the beginning of the journey. Set up alerts on your calendars so that pop-ups tell you what to do.

The point is not to prioritize tasks on your to-do list, but to order your priority tasks.
Stephen Covey

One of the fastest and most effective ways to retain what you’ve learned is to put it into practice immediately or teach someone else.

Benjamin Child/Unsplash.com

Studies show that people remember:

– 5% of what they learned if they listened to a lecture;
– 10% if they read the information about the item;
– 20% if they learned something through audio and video materials;
– 30% if the training was through process demonstration;
– 50% when discussing information in a group;
– 75% if training was combined with practice;
– 90% if they taught the material they learned to someone else.

The main reason for such indicators is that in the process of teaching someone, your brain quickly recognizes the mistakes made and concentrates on eliminating them. Paradoxically, this is contrary to all traditional methods of passive learning.

Therefore, no matter how you learn the material, the important thing is to immediately practice what you have learned.

Learn new things by doing things you’ve never done before. Maintain knowledge by teaching others. Remember and repeat.

Why do people quit a diet after a month and then never get back on? Because the violation will not be punished. You don’t get fired for eating a piece of cake. In the near future, you will not expect tangible losses. And you quit what you started.

Joao Silas/Unsplash.com

However, if you put something on the line, such as the cost of your failure, it will be easier to stick to the goal. Find a person, for example, using special applications, who will monitor you, as well as send money to charity if you do not comply with the terms of the agreement. This is how you will move towards your goal and make the world a little better.

When it comes to setting deadlines, research shows that the closer the deadline, the sooner you get to work. And scientists also note that for every negative motivator, we need three positive ones, so use the carrot and stick method in this proportion.

Going to a goal, especially a big one, is easier than we think. Big plans, support from others, perseverance – and you will achieve your goal. Just keep going towards what you want to achieve.

I have to reach my goal in a week. And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll do something else.

We repeat

They will help you move along the chosen path.

1. Set Big Goals

– Switch from a self-centered goal to one that will make a difference in other people’s lives.
– Visualize the target.
– Develop a “lion” type of thinking.

2. Surround yourself with people who have already succeeded

— Acknowledgment of accomplishments helps you believe that you too can succeed.
– Find a coach, teacher, partner or group.

3. Develop a Growth Mindset

— A fixed mindset requires you to achieve success to prove your abilities. A growth mindset requires constant development.
– Stop proving something to others, take care of yourself.
– Focus on being, not seeming.

4. Make a Schedule

– Successful people schedule based on a calendar, not a to-do list.
– Tidy up important tasks instead of prioritizing your to-do list.
– Allow 15-30 minutes for each task.
– Set reminders in calendar apps.

5. Teach others

— Immediate application of knowledge in practice or teaching others helps to remember up to 90% of new information.
– Work with a coach or teach yourself if there is no one else.

6. Place your bets

– Motivation comes from betting, especially when money is at stake.
– Use apps to let someone track your steps.
– Announce your goal publicly. Reputation is the best bet.

Interesting on the topic:

Author – Anastasia Pivovarova.
Editor – Natalia Skornyakova.
Layout – Lera Merzlyakova.

Source: The complete guide to never quitting anything again

Why dream about work: interpretation of dreams about work But sometimes work does not stay in the office, but comes in a dream. Often it simply means that you are so wrapped up in thoughts about what you are doing that you cannot distract yourself and leave them outside. Thinking about problems, searching for solutions to problems, the brain cannot stop even with the onset of night. To avoid this, it is worth being distracted, walking before going to bed, having a good time and setting yourself up: there is daytime for thinking about business. But the answer to the question of why work is dreaming is not always so rational. Showing pictures at night relating to your relationship with colleagues and the success of your affairs, the subconscious mind can warn about something or lead to important thoughts.

In most cases, this is a good dream. Also, we may not be talking about the business sphere, the plot may simply be hard and exhausting work. We analyze the meaning of the dream in various dream books, so that the interpretation is correct, be sure to remember all the details of the dream.

Miller’s Dream Book

The interpreter believes that if you have to work in a dream, then this can only mean one thing: in real life, only labor will help to achieve results. But if in a vision you were resting, and someone else was working, the unexpected help of other people will help in solving an exciting task in reality. Finding a job portends an unexpected profit, losing it – troubles on the path of life, which you can overcome with dignity.

Troubles at work threaten those who, in a dream, transferred their affairs to a colleague or delegated important tasks to him. Someone is aiming for your place in the company. If you become an employer in a dream, you will lose something important in reality.

Freud’s dream book

The psychologist is sure that in most cases such a dream says that a person is extremely concerned about something directly related to his work activity. Profit and wealth promises a dream in which someone else works. But if a person works in a dream, but cannot achieve any result, he should contact a medical specialist. Perhaps in reality he has health problems that interfere with his sexual life.

Vanga’s dream book

The soothsayer notices one interesting turn, which is not uncommon in dreams. A person can see how he lost his job, but at the same time he was not upset: this may mean that he will soon lose a large amount of money due to some fraud or his own negligence.

Dream Interpretation of Nostradamus

Spiritual uplift and good mood, success in business predicts a dream in which a person not only works, but enjoys what is happening. But the hard work that you do without pleasure is rather a warning that now the sleeping person is in the wrong place, doing an unloved business that takes a lot of effort and does not bring results. Maybe it’s time to look for a new job.

Dream Interpretation of Tsvetkov

Losing a job in a dream calls you to think about recent mistakes: there is still a chance to fix everything, until no one saw the consequences or they did not become completely terrible. A dispute about work portends troubles in the professional field that cannot be avoided.

Loff’s dream book

Hard work in a dream is a sign that in reality success soon awaits, obtained with sweat and blood. Another person engaged in hard work is a symbol of imminent changes in life for the better. Finding a job means getting unexpected profits (raise in salary, inheritance), watching how other people work is a success that will come unexpectedly.

Islamic dream book

This dream will be a good omen, because it is a harbinger of prosperity, well-deserved success. Incomes will rise, and everything will turn out as planned. If in a dream there is a promotion at work, then in reality you deserve much more than you have.

A dream about looking for a job says that soon life will give you a chance to get rich: you should definitely use it.

Dream Interpretation of Astromeridian

If a new work appeared in a dream that you really like, in reality an unprecedented success awaits in a big project. True, for this you will have to work hard, stocking up on patience. But when a new job brings disappointment, it predicts conflicts with colleagues or partners in reality.

Troubles at work that you see in a dream hint that you need to look for a person in your environment, communication with which brings discomfort and try to minimize interaction. It is also worth considering how this person can be dangerous – most likely, the subconscious mind warns of something important.

When you dream that you are doing a strange job, unusual for yourself, consider this a sign and a warning that the current life does not suit you very well. You need to reconsider your life choices and rethink your outlook on life. Or maybe look for something you enjoy, shift your focus to something personal, or find a hobby.

Obstacles predicts the fulfillment of difficult tasks in a dream, but if at night you suddenly remember your old work – be careful, there is a chance of losing the respect of others, being condemned. And if you have conceived something impartial, it is better to give up such thoughts.

An interesting dream is when you yourself are not working, but only watching a group of workers. It does not bode well: if you continue to distance yourself from business, the business will never bring profit and become successful. You need to work hard, participate in practical operations, maybe not do everything yourself, but precisely guide and show the correct course of action from your own experience.

Losing a job in a dream is a sign that failures will also occur in real life and everything will not go according to plan. And only a positive attitude to life will help to overcome such difficulties. The job search says that you need to start implementing the project as soon as possible, with due attention, it will be extremely successful.

Dream Interpretation of the XXI century

In a dream you can see how others work. If these are men – consider the vision as a harbinger of a new higher position for you when women work – someone else’s help will be useless for you.

Unfavorable interpretation of a dream about losing a job: it means trouble in your personal life and in relationships with a loved one. Finding a job promises unexpected income, and dreaming of delegating your tasks to trouble in the service.

Psychological interpreter Furtseva

The researcher draws attention to a dream in which you leave your job without a doubt. It says that it is time for the decisive step forward that you are afraid of. But it can bring deep satisfaction and in general, this is what you have been wanting for a long time. This is a subconscious hint that it is time to act, not dream.

Looking for a job clearly shows that the current state of affairs in the real world does not suit you at all. Even a salary increase is not encouraging: what you are doing has not satisfied the needs for personal growth for a long time. It’s time to think about changes in your life.

Dream Interpretation of Natalia Stepanova

Hard work in a dream is a sign that in reality you need to concentrate on the main task and then success will come. If others work in the vision, circumstances will turn out in the best possible way so that everything works out as required.

A dream is unfavorable for a woman, in which she sees herself as a housekeeper: in reality, she will have a job that only takes time and effort and does not bring any joy.

In a dream, you may be left without a job, but the meaning of this dream is by no means negative: it means that you take any difficulties lightly, believe in yourself and know that you will never be lost.

Interpretation in the dream book of Dmitry and Nadezhda Zima

A dream in which other people work harmoniously – with or without you – indicates that in reality your relationship with people will work out well, there will be agreement and understanding between you. Joyless and tedious work in a dream is a symbol of the fact that in ordinary life you are doing something completely different. Losing a job in a dream is a warning that you need to figure out the mistakes that you might have already forgotten about, but which will certainly affect your future well-being.