Daycare for 3 month old: 3 month old in daycare….will it get better? : beyondthebump

Baby Edition — Sleep Tight Consultants

Baby Sleep

Apr 11

Written By Linda Szmulewitz

Concerns about how babies will sleep when starting daycare often consume large amounts of mental energy for moms on maternity leave.  I know this well because I remember being worried about this myself when returning to work after my daughter was born many years ago. It also comes up regular in discussions in The Chicago New Moms Group.  How your baby will or won’t sleep in daycare is a concern partially due to the fact that the environment in daycare is often vastly different then your environment at home and also because we as moms often find it hard to imagine how it is possible that someone else will be able to care for our babies in the same way that we have been when they are at home.   Not to mention the fact that babies in the United States often start daycare at 3 months or even younger which is before sleep patterns are often well established so everything sleep related still feels very much up in the air. 

Questions to ask daycare when selecting a daycare/before starting

• What is the sleep environment like in the classroom?  You may be able to see this on a visit but this article is being written during COVID which means that you may not be able to make an in person visit to a potential daycare.  My preference for daycare environments from least preferred to most is:  Last choice—cribs around the perimeter of the room, middle choice and most common—cribs all clustered on one side of the room (ideally with that side being a bit darker and possibly with a sound machine or two running), first choice—separate nap room (I’ve only had a handful of families at daycares like this.  This is most common in-home daycares.)

• What is their policy about putting children down awake?  I have encountered some daycares that will not put babies in cribs awake ever out of concern that any crying will disturb other sleeping babies.   While this isn’t a big deal with younger babies who may not be ready to learn how to soothe and regulate themselves, it will often become a problem if you have plans for helping your child learn independent sleep skills and can often lead to short naps.

• Will the daycare be willing to support any sleep training plans that you have for your child as they become ready?  This means putting your child down awake, giving them a period of time to fall asleep, attending to them without necessarily picking them up and doing something to make them fall asleep and if they wake too soon, giving them time to go back to sleep as needed.

• Will they be able to follow awake window or scheduling guidelines you give them?  For babies, most daycares are pretty flexible about timing for naps but I have encountered some that attempt to get younger babies on fixed schedules that aren’t always age appropriate.  For example, I have had a couple of daycares that want to get all babies on a long midday nap schedule around noon which is more of a toddler schedule.   This can lead to long periods of awake time between the end of the last nap and when parents can reasonably get them home and to bed at bedtime, leaving children overtired which can then produce night time sleep issues. 

Other baby sleep things to think about with daycare

Most daycares will ask parents on their intake forms what your child’s schedule is.  I find this question can feel very stressful and overwhelming to new parents whose babies are not often scheduled at the age when they are starting daycare.  I always explain that this is a standard question asked for all children starting daycare.  If a child was starting at 9 months, those parents would have an easier time answering a scheduling question then parents of a 3 month old. 

I also find that daycares have a hard time getting babies down for that first morning nap much before 9am.  While at home, your baby may nap at 8am, there is a lot of commotion and activity right at drop off time.  Babies are being changed and fed and everyone is getting settled so it can be hard for them to nap so early.   Of course this doesn’t mean that your baby may not be tired earlier which can lead to some nap struggles with that first nap when it happens too late.  If your baby is an early riser, it might be helpful to do a short cat nap before daycare drop off, if you have time.  Or you might take advantage of a little snooze on the way to daycare to help your baby arrive a bit more well rested.  When my daughter was a baby going to daycare, she went to the daycare at the hospital that I worked at in New York City.  We would take the bus to and from daycare with her in the Baby Bjorn and for the first 2 months or so, I remember she napped in the carrier on the way in every day.  This really helped because she hardly napped at all at daycare 😫.

Lastly, I want to reassure you that even if your baby isn’t a great napper at daycare, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t sleep well at night.  Daycare is exciting and it is very stimulating.  Many babies come home completely exhausted and will want to catch up on lost sleep from the day at night.   This means that your baby may need an early bedtime for the first few months as he adjusts to the changes.  It also may mean that on the weekends, you will need to be cognizant of the fact that the weekends are going to be a time to catch up.  This means that you may need to limit your activities and do a bit more divide and conquer between parents when it comes to errands in order to give your baby time for naps at home.  I know that this is a big transition for everyone, but I encourage you to trust your daycare and know that they have raised 100s of more children then any of us have.

Linda Szmulewitz

Sending Baby To Daycare At 3 Months (What To Know & How To Prepare)

by Kelin George

Some daycare centers take in babies as young as 6 weeks. When you want to send your baby to daycare depends on when you have to go back to work. There is no easy way of being comfortable with the idea of letting someone else look after your kid while you’re at work; you’re just going to have to trust them. But, before you send your child to daycare, there are certain things to check out before, like looking for feedback from parents whose children already go there. Check the internet for more reviews.

Visit the place and check out the staff, check whether the place is clean, hygienic, and their daily activities and how they take care of infants compared to toddlers. There are many pros of sending your child to daycare instead of a nanny taking care of your kid, like your child will develop social skills, interact with kids their age, and develop their gross motor skills faster than a stay-at-home baby.

A parent’s worst dilemma is choosing between going back to work or taking care of their child. Some mothers may decide to go back to work because it has taken them almost a decade of building up their career, and it can’t be all for nothing.

But choosing to send your little one to daycare can be a difficult decision for any parent, especially first-time parents.

I’m not going to lie, but leaving your baby in the daycare during the first initial days is going to be very hard. Handing over your most precious treasure to a caretaker can be an overwhelming experience for parents, but remember that it’s all going to be good- for you and your baby.

There can be hundreds of reasons you want to put your child in daycare, and I don’t judge you. You do what you think is best for your kid. After all, that is what most parents in this world aim for.

Some parents are hesitant with the idea of sending their newborn to daycare. Instead, they prefer the grandparents looking after the kid or hiring a nanny. Although both are good options, that doesn’t mean that parents who send their kids to daycare need to be crucified.

Jumping on the judgment wagon is relatively easy for everyone, but putting themselves in the other person’s shoes is often forgotten by these same people.

Where I live, hiring a nanny or sending your child to daycare is the last option parents resort to. The majority of the families prefer the grandparents looking after the kid or the mother herself.

And although patriarchal society is applauded for “letting” the women work, taking care of the baby will always fall upon the grandparents/mother of the child. So, sending your baby to daycare somehow makes the parents look “less competent” to take care of the kid.

But in my personal opinion, it’s an excellent choice for parents who want to go back to work, while the child spends her time in a place surrounded by childcare specialists, children of her age.

Imagine her personality being molded into someone confident, has good social skills, and learns things in a fun way.

What should you look for in infant daycare?

The below checklist is some of the basic things you should check in every daycare prospect:

• The daycare should be nearby, be it your workplace or home.
• The ratio of caretakers to infants, preferably 1 caretaker for 4 infants.
• Number of children going there.
• The staff’s qualification.
• The daycare’s licensing qualifications.
• Their daily routine for kids.
• Would they log every diaper change, feeds/meals, sleep.
• Cleanliness and hygiene of the place.

When it comes to your child’s safety, parents must know if the caretakers are educated and specialized in doing the job.

Also, the daycare you choose should be hygienic and clean, and that they make sure everything is sterile because your baby’s immune system is still developing. So, she will be more prone to any bacteria or germs lingering around.

It’s best if the ratio of the staff is 1 for every 4 infants.

Taking care of infants, especially newborns, is difficult, so the staff should have enough experience and resources to take care of your kid.

Why you should send your baby to daycare

There are so many reasons for you to send your child to daycare, although you might get to see people rolling eyes or judging you. A child spending her time in daycare while growing up might be the best decision you made.

Many centers take in newborns as small as 6 weeks. In places where the maternity leave is too little, the mothers or parents are left with no other choice than to enroll in daycare for their kids.

The advantages of daycare centers have been researched, and studies show a positive impact on the kid’s upbringing.

1. Social skills

Daycare is a perfect way for your child’s social and cognitive skills to develop. Your child will see and meet kids her age. They will interact with each other, learn to play, and share.

Qualified childcare specialists are trained and will support your child to foster traits like compassion, empathy, and emotional intelligence, which will make a lasting impact on the child’s social development.

2. Routine

The importance of routine will be very well known to us, from their everyday routine for feeding to their bedtime routine. It’s essential to upkeep this; otherwise, things might go haywire, and our whole day is disrupted.

Having consistency and routine every day will provide them with a structure that will teach them about limits and boundaries and how to behave in society.

3. Independence

An independent person is always confident. Introducing independence and fostering your child’s autonomy becomes essential for helping them lead a confident and capable life.

You won’t still have to put on his pants when he’s 18 months old because he might’ve learned how to do it and will want to be doing his things on his own. This gives him independence and gives us a little bit more freedom to do other things.

Transitioning your child into daycare

The transition period of putting your child into daycare is going to be very difficult for parents. The separation anxiety hits at a peak during that time.

As a mother who has gone through this, trust me, you will cry hard!

I was ugly-crying in front of the caretakers as if I was giving away my son. But, this is what will happen to many of us parents.

The first few days, weeks will be the hardest. Although I craved adult conversation so much, the guilt of letting my child be taken care of by a stranger made me quite hesitant to go back to work.

But, remember that it’s alright to feel this way, and it will be challenging, but at the end of the day, it works out for everyone, and your little one will be back in your arm for all the cuddle time in the world.

If you’re planning to go back to work, it’s better to start daycare 1 week before joining.

This will give you ample time to adjust if anything goes sideways, like if you don’t like the daycare or the commute takes too long.

I know this can become an anxious time for you and your partner, but on the other hand, think that the mysteries behind her cries are for someone else to figure out during the daycare hours; her poopy diapers and spit-ups are now someone else’s problem.

FAQs

How long does it take for a 3-month-old baby to adjust to daycare?

Being a 3-month-old, your baby will be able to easily adjust as they’re still too young to process everything that goes through but give or take 2-3 days, and this will become a routine for your little one.

Can babies feel abandoned in daycare?

As heartbreaking it is to leave your baby at a daycare center, remember many childcare specialists will look after every need of your kid.

Can a 3-month-old baby have separation anxiety?

Babies might start to recognize you at this age, but separation anxiety peaks when they’re around 8 months old.         

How many feeds should my 3-month-old baby have in a day?

At 3 months, your baby will be feeding every 3-4 hours so that she would be feeding 7-9 times a day.

Takeaway

Choosing to put your child in daycare is difficult, but it’s also an excellent choice for working parents. Daycare looks after your kid and ensures that they positively impact the child’s personality and social development.

If the whole ‘dropping your child at daycare’ thing becomes too overwhelming, then ask your partner to accompany you for the first few days.

Don’t worry; the caretakers usually log in every little detail about your child for you to see and not miss out on anything.

Meanwhile, please take a deep breath, and take it one day at a time.

Also, comment down below on what you think about sending infants to daycare.

Why is it so important to start exercising at 2 MONTHS AGE

“The greatness of the human personality begins at the hour of birth”.

Maria Montessori.

Montessori pedagogy is the pedagogy of following the nature of the child.

The outstanding Italian scientist Maria Montessori in her numerous works describes how in early childhood the foundations for the development of movement, speech are formed, the intellect, psyche, emotional sphere develop like an avalanche , the qualities of character are laid, the basic trust in the world and the personality of a person are formed! nine0005

“The important period of life is not student age, but the first period, the period from birth to six years, because this is the time when the mind is formed – the greatest instrument of man. ”

M. Montessori.

But the most important in human development is the period of up to a year! Since only at this time the child’s brain has the highest growth rate and the creation of a huge number of neural connections. The child’s intelligence develops through the accumulation of neural connections. The intensity of brain development in the first year of life is equal to five years of the next stage of development! nine0005

Growth of neural connections in a child from 1 month. up to 15 months:

1 month 3 months 6 months 15 months

Child brain weight from birth to 6 years:

nine0005

Maria Montessori wrote that “ learning should begin at birth.”

“During this period, we can only help life to open up, and this happens for everyone equally. For everyone there is a first adaptation period, and for everyone it is the spiritual side that initiates the development of life. And if during this period assistance is provided in accordance with the needs of human life, then the benefits from this will be enormous, because everyone will then be able to better develop their individual abilities. nine0004