Daycare 4 month old: Reddit – Dive into anything

Опубликовано: June 24, 2023 в 1:06 am

Автор: alexxlab

Категории: Miscellaneous

How to Prepare Yourself When You Send Your Baby to Daycare

There comes a time for most families to send their kids to daycare. It’s not easy at first – especially if your child is just a baby, but like every other notch on the parenting journey, you will conquer this too.

For my family, my husband and I work at home as business owners, so we decided to keep our son home until age two and a half. Working with our sweet, rambunctious boy, constantly interrupting, was becoming impossible. For many families, the daycare phase can come as early as six weeks after maternity leave is exhausted and sometimes even after four weeks. Some U.S. companies have paid maternity leave policies ranging from 6-8 weeks on average) and then there is the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) which gives 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave (you cannot do both – parents must choose either paid leave based on their employer’s policy or 12 weeks of unpaid leave via FMLA.).

Whether it’s six weeks, eight weeks, or 12 weeks, sending your baby to daycare is scary and nerve-wracking. When the time comes for your family to take the daycare adventure, here are ten tips to make the process easier and ensure your baby is in good hands.

How to Prepare to Send Your Baby to Daycare

Tip #1: Research

Try to get your baby on the list at a daycare center as soon as possible because early childhood centers typically fill up and are challenging to get into on short notice. Here’s how to find the best daycare that will fit your needs:

Make a list of all the recommended daycares and leave space for notes on each.

Start by asking other moms about their favorite daycare and why. I love utilizing local mom groups on Facebook for questions like this.

Google each facility.

First, go to their website. You can tell a lot from their website, like the daycare’s mission, approach, schedule, programs, and story. Next, look at their Google reviews. Don’t dismiss a daycare if there are some bad reviews. Click on them and read because sometimes it’s genuinely the family and not the daycare who is causing issues. This happened with our daycare. A bad review was posted, and I knew it was 100% false – or at least the parent’s interpretation of the situation was false because my son had been attending this fabulous daycare for three years. If the positive reviews greatly outweigh a few negative reviews, then it’s safe to keep them on your list.

Don’t rule out at-home daycares.

Usually, they take fewer children and may be a good fit for your needs.

Tip #2: Brainstorm Daycare Alternatives

There may be some options available that don’t require daycare right away. For example, my friend wanted to wait for daycare until her baby was six months old, so she came up with an alternative plan because she still had to return to work. She split four days out of the week between her mom and a nanny. Her husband, who works from home, watched the baby on the fifth day. She has an in-home daycare lined up for when the baby is six months old. Another idea is to introduce daycare gradually by sending your child half days or only a few days a week. This works only if you can work from home or arrange other help for the non-daycare days.

Tip #3: Arrange a Visit

After researching each recommended daycare, contact all the centers on your list. For us, we could rule out specific childcare centers right away just by an in-person visit. For older kids, bringing them with you on the visit is essential. Involving them in this process helps make the transition easier for them. With a newborn, it’s probably not as important to bring them, but the staff may want to see your adorable baby. Some daycare tours may also be conducted while you are still pregnant since it’s not uncommon for there to be a 6-month to a 1-year waiting list. When touring a daycare, I look for the following:

Cleanliness

Look at toys and even the toys outside. Also, pay attention to the floors, corners, bathrooms, etc.

Friendly Staff

The staff should be happy, welcoming, and accommodating.

Food

If it’s during snack or lunch, you can take a peek at what they are serving. We loved that our daycare was BYOL, but if the childcare center provides lunch, it does matter what they are feeding kids. For babies, this obviously isn’t a concern right away because of the milk and baby food, but it’s important to be aware of this when they get older.

Happy Kids

Are the kids happy? Are they bored? Do you see them engaging in learning or fun activities?

Happy Environment

Are the walls bare or filled with children’s artwork on display? Are there fun colors, toys, and furniture in the facility?

Have questions prepared in case the daycare doesn’t answer them:

What is the teacher-to-child ratio?
What is your approach to discipline?
What is the daily schedule?
Do you follow safe sleep practices?
How do you comfort an upset baby?
Are meals and snacks provided, or do we bring our own?
Are the toys regularly cleaned and sanitized? If so, how often?
How do you handle naps?
Does the facility have cameras?
How do you communicate with parents so that we know how our kids are doing?
Is the facility baby-proofed?
What is your nap routine for babies?

Tip #4: Mentally Prepare to Send Your Baby to Daycare

It’s okay to feel scared and nervous putting your baby in daycare. You are just getting into the groove of taking care of your little bundle, and now you have to hand them off to some total stranger. You’re not alone. Moms usually feel a range of emotions – some rational and some irrational – like mom guilt, anxiety, sadness, and even relief. Mom guilt can creep in easily when you leave your baby all day with someone else. But remember, you researched diligently, visited multiple times, and have placed your baby in good hands. Your baby will still love you just as much, and just think how exciting it will be to pick up your little one every day.

Own your decision and know that you chose the best option for your baby. Expect to feel different emotions when sending your baby to daycare – and that’s okay. Process and stay positive. Each day at daycare gets easier and easier. Daycares have become a second family in our experience. It’s a nice bond that builds.

Tip #5: Trial Run

Knowing what to expect and how much time you need to send your baby to daycare helps prepare for that first real day. The day before, make sure to have your bags packed and ready to help relieve some stress. Do a trial drive to the daycare after completing a morning routine to see if you are on time, early, or need more time. Often, the childcare center will let you come in to visit and observe for 2-3 hours before the first drop-off day.

Tip #6: Pack Smart

Here’s a simple baby-packing list for daycare:

Diapers and wipes
Diaper cream
A couple of spare outfits
Sleep items like a crib sheet and sleep sack
Comfort items like pacifiers or a lovey
Burp cloths and bibs
Blanket
Bottles, milk, food, and snacks
If cold out, pack a hat, mittens, and a snowsuit

Pack the night before to save time in the morning. Make sure to label everything and mark on all sides so the name can be seen quickly, no matter which side the teacher grabs.

Tip #7: Communication

Write down your baby’s typical schedule. Make sure to include sleep routines, feeding times, and allergies or sensitivities. Then, discuss it with the teacher. Sometimes, the schedule may be different, but they will let you know and gradually get the baby on the daycare schedule. Being on the same schedule with the other kids makes it easier for the staff to take care of babies.

Also, find ways to stay up to date on your baby’s progress at daycare. Usually, there is an app or online parent portal to see daily updates and photos. Some daycares even have live video feeds that you can check anytime. My daycare only did photos and updates through an app, which was still great. They had cameras, but only for security purposes.

Finally, find the best way to reach your teacher and administrative staff should you have questions or need something. Of course, make sure they have the best way to contact you. Daycare is not an easy step to go through, but as you get to know the staff and see your baby thrive and learn, daycare becomes something you are very grateful for.

Tip #8: Short and Sweet

Drop-offs should be short and sweet. Not only are the teachers busy and need to get back to their kids, but prolonging the drop-off doesn’t help the child or the parent. Having a trial run helps with the real drop-off day. Create a drop-off ritual, hand your child off after you hug and kiss them, and never turn around after you leave. This was the best advice I got when I had a 2-year-old going into daycare because once you look back – even if they are crying – it makes it worse.

With babies, they won’t always realize mommy or daddy is leaving, but not looking or going back reassures the teacher that you are trusting them with your baby. Establishing this rapport is crucial. It also helps your baby adjust. The more you stall and turn around, the more challenging it will be for your little one.

Tip #9: Tears are Okay

I cried when I returned to my car on the first daycare drop-off day. It was happy tears because my child was not a tiny baby. I was feeling proud of this big next step. When dropping off a baby, however, it’s a lot different. Allow yourself to have those tears, and call someone on the phone to talk through it. It helps to talk to someone. My mom is always my go-to phone call. Some moms even take a day off from work on the first day of daycare drop-off. For me, I would rather keep busy at work, however.

Tip #10: Watch Baby Thrive When You Send Them to Daycare

One of the best parts of daycare is that it gives babies a healthy learning environment to grow and thrive — kids in daycare gain many developmental benefits^1,2,3. I was in complete awe at what my child did in just one day at daycare, from circle time to endless arts and crafts, learning activities, outside play, story time, free play, snacks, lunch, naps, and so much more.

Benefits of Daycare

Here are some great benefits to sending your child to daycare:

Teaches children how to share and take turns.
Provides practice making new friends, being part of a team, and playing well with others.
Helps hone communication skills.
Teaches problem-solving, compromise, and conflict-resolution techniques.
Encourages children to demonstrate cooperation, inclusion, and compassion.
Eases separation anxiety as children interact with other children and adults.
Teaches children to respect and listen to non-parent authority figures.
Gives children time to adjust to school-like schedules and routines.

In addition to the social skills that kids learn, sending your baby to daycare can help to provide a consistent routine. Cadence Education says, “As new little humans in a big world, children need a solid foundation of structure and stability to learn and grow. Having a consistent schedule and routine is one of the big benefits of daycare: it’s a great way to provide structure for children, which allows them to predict and anticipate what’s next.”

So when sending your baby to daycare, prepare by following these steps and know that daycare can truly be an extension of the home, like a second family. Our daycare was surely like family, and it’s so adorable as your child gets older. They really grow to adore and love their teachers so much. You’ve got this, mom (and dad too)!

References:

1. https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.1248429

2. https://evidencebasedprograms.org/programs/abecedarian-project/

3. https://jech.bmj.com/content/72/11/1033

How to Prepare Baby for Daycare: Tips from an Expert

The first day of daycare is just around the corner. Are you ready? Probably not, if we’re talking about feelings. But just because you’ll be an emotional wreck doesn’t mean you can’t be ready in other ways. So, how do you prepare for your baby’s first day at daycare? By going straight to the source for the insider tips to sending your baby or newborn to daycare.

Meet Renee, a distinguished daycare provider for over 20 years, who got together with us to offer you tips to making the transition to daycare as smooth as possible. With her help, you’re sure to be so well prepared, you’ll even remember the tissues.

Q: What should a parent look for in a daycare provider for their infant?

Renee: Of course, make sure it is someone you feel very comfortable with. My favorite thing about my job was getting a baby at three months old and they would stay until three, four, or even five years old and it was so much fun to watch them grow and become the little person they became. Sometimes, when they got older and got their driver’s license, they would come back and visit with me. This kind of relationship can be so beneficial to your baby and finding a provider you trust and get good feelings from is how you can help make that kind of relationship possible.

Besides someone they feel comfortable with, I always tell people to look for a provider who is licensed, if possible. If they aren’t licensed, that’s okay, just make sure they are CPR and first aid certified. It’s even better if they are infant-CPR certified, as it’s a different CPR experience for little ones than it is adults.

Q: What are some things parents should talk to their daycare provider about before the first day?

Renee: Always feel comfortable telling your provider how you want things done. You know your baby best and we get to know them better through you. Even things you feel are a personal matter, they matter to us. So, for example, if baby is having issues going from breast to bottle or you’re still trying to find a bottle nipple level that works, those kinds of things are very helpful for us to know about because we can work with you to work with baby. Knowing these kinds of ins-and-outs of baby’s daily life prior to spending the day with their provider will make the transition much smoother for everyone – but especially your baby.

Some things to consider talking to your daycare provider about include sleep routines, typical feeding times, and of course any allergies or sensitivities. Don’t be shy in giving your daycare a feeding and snack schedule. For toddlers, it’s also important to know how parents prefer to discipline their child. It can be a really tricky topic but consider this: If your kid bites another child and the daycare provider is unsure how you’d like them to handle the situation, you may not end up liking their personal approach to discipline.

Q: What’s one thing you want parents to know about the transition to daycare?

Renee: The most important thing to remember is that there’s going to be change in baby’s schedule from being with mom or dad during the day and being with their daycare provider. Nap time and play time – even down to the small things like the way you console baby, may be different. For example, if a baby can be calmed by being rocked in one arm while vacuuming with the other, that can’t happen at daycare. Some things have to change and that can be a little stressful for babies, so be prepared for the potential of a fussy baby in the first few days or week until they get adjusted.

While daycare providers don’t make big changes all at once, over time, baby’s daytime routine is going to follow the daycare’s overall routine, so it flows well with every child. If it’s possible, keeping that daytime routine during the weekends can help your little one not be so stressed out come Monday. That doesn’t always happen, so Monday’s can be tough on everyone. By Tuesday, though, it’s always peaches and cream again.

Q: How can parents prepare baby for the change in caregivers?

Renee: If baby is struggling with attachment, I always recommend that particular parent spend longer periods of time away from them so that baby can get used to that parent being gone. In the weeks and days leading up to the first daycare day, stretch the absence to as long as you can to help the transition into a full day.

Q: What should parents bring with baby on the first day of daycare?

Renee: Best case scenario, you’ll have two different sets of “stuff. ” One bag would be all of the items that need to go home with baby at the end of the day. Like blankets, lovey, pacifiers, teethers – anything that is “personal.”

The second thing to bring is a large tote that holds all of baby’s items that can stay with your provider. Diapers, formula, bottles, baby wipes, medicines, bibs, extra clothes, burp rags – all of the day-to-day things baby uses. Make sure you mark it with baby’s name.

Also, bring important paperwork like physicals, shot records, emergency phone numbers, and names and pictures of any potential caregivers who are allowed to pick up baby from daycare if you can’t, like grandma or a godparent.

Q: What are some tips to help parents make sure the daycare has everything baby will need?

Renee: What I liked people to do is bring enough at one time for at least two weeks. So, in that large tote, bring at least two weeks’ worth of diapers, baby wipes, formula – all the perishable things. And when it comes to formula or breastmilk, bring more than necessary if you can. Sometimes baby will have a really hungry day, so having some extra food around is important. For breastmilk, breastmilk storage bags are great because you can mark them with your baby’s name and I can keep them in the freezer, so they’ll stay good.

Bringing extra sets of items means that you don’t have to drag all of this stuff each day, just the single bag of their personal items that will go back home with them.

The first day of daycare can be stressful and full of feelings. But by having all the details sorted out prior, your time is spent with baby rather than worrying. Just make sure you don’t forget the tissues!

The child is crying and does not want to go to kindergarten – what should I do?

Yesterday the child happily ran to the kindergarten, but today it cries, grabs hold of you and flatly refuses to go there. What is rollback in adaptation, why does it happen and what should parents do? We deal with the child and family psychologist Olga Khlopova.

Question. Initially, my three-year-old child went to the garden with pleasure. There was no crying, no other horrors of adaptation that frightened me. And now, two months later, he suddenly said sharply that he would no longer go to the garden. Tears and tantrums began. What happened – and how to get everything back on track?

Answer. Kindergarten is a new space for a child. When a child first comes there, he experiences stress, but at the same time he is attracted to many things, and new impressions maintain interest, motivation to return there again. But after some time he gets used to it and finds out: there are not only interesting things here, but also those that are alarming. And again begins to experience stress. Moreover, if earlier the child could be distracted by new impressions, now this does not work, because everything around has already become familiar.

In addition, 2-3 months in the garden (if you count from the beginning of the school year, this is November – December) is, in principle, a difficult time of the year. At this time, it gets dark early, it is cold and dank outside, the season of constant snot and SARS begins. In this case, going to kindergarten is also rejected because of discomfort: who wants to get up early and go somewhere in the dark and damp?

And there is also a typical story about accumulated fatigue. For the same first-graders, lessons usually last up to 12 hours, there are holidays, there are interesting circles where you can switch. And preschoolers stay in the garden, as a rule, until the evening, without holidays, they don’t always go anywhere else but the kindergarten. For them, it’s like a full-fledged five-day work week, and not the easiest.

If the child is tired, if he can no longer cope with the psychological load, it is important not to let him burn out completely and, if possible, take a break – for example, an unscheduled day off. Most likely, it will not be easy to organize from the point of view of logistics. But if there is such an opportunity, great. This will support the child.

Often, educators oppose such absenteeism: they say that, on the contrary, it can ruin everything, the child will get out of the rut, begin to act up and demand to stay at home even more. But in fact, if you discuss the rules with the child in advance (we stay at home not according to desire and mood, but having discussed the day and format of absenteeism in advance, explaining that this, for example, can be no more than once a week, and so on), you will insure yourself from manipulation. The child will understand that such indulgences do not happen spontaneously, that even here you need to follow the rules, that for an unscheduled day off you still need to go to kindergarten for a couple of days. And then it will give him additional support, maybe even motivation.

It is not a fact that after an unscheduled day off the child will happily run to the garden

But such a break will allow his nervous system to reboot. On the contrary, accumulated fatigue and lack of rest can break it. In this case, a negative attitude towards the kindergarten and the negative patterns of behavior associated with it can be fixed. And then tantrums and whims in the morning will become a kind of ritual that will help the child relieve stress.

Adapting to kindergarten is a long process, but there is no need to be afraid of it. A person throughout his life is constantly adjusting to new circumstances, a new environment, a new schedule. The main thing here is to learn to notice in time that resources are depleted and find sources that would feed them.

And more. If a child is worried about kindergarten, do not scold him or devalue his feelings with words like: “You will still miss kindergarten at school.” On the contrary, pronounce his feelings, but offer a way out (“I understand that you don’t want to get up, leave the house, go somewhere. Do you think everyone is in the same mood today? Why is the teacher cheerful? Maybe she has some “Something a secret? Let’s think: what?”).

It is important for a child to know that you understand him, empathize, but at the same time you are not helpless, you do not cry with him, but you know how to find a positive way out of the situation. But it is important that this sympathy be real, sincere.

Ask your question to Mel, and the editors will find someone who can answer it. Write to our social networks – we read all messages on the pages on Facebook, VKontakte and Odnoklassniki. You can also write to us on Instagram. Answers will be published in order of priority in the “Question – Answer” section. By the way, we do not disclose names, so questions can be anything (feel free!).

Cover image: shutterstock / evrymmnt

What if you enrolled your child in kindergarten and then moved?

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Legislation

IF THE CHILD DOES NOT GO TO GARDEN YET. ..

To join the queue for kindergarten, you applied on the public services portal or in person. It contained information about the baby, as well as priority kindergartens for you.

If you are registered in Moscow and submitted an application through the personal account of the portal of state and municipal services in Moscow (address: www.pgu.mos.ru), then before February 1 of the year in which it is planned to send the child for enrollment in kindergarten, you can change certain data in the application: year of admission, registration address, information and availability of benefits, priority kindergartens. This can be done through your personal account on the public services portal or by contacting the district information support service.

Accordingly, if you move to another area, you can move the queue. To do this, you need to write an application to the district education authority with a request to reschedule the queue indicating the reason, then the place for the child in the queue will remain and next year he will go to kindergarten without any problems. But keep in mind that in this case, your offspring will most likely end up not in the garden you have chosen, but in the one in which there will be places.

IF THE CHILD ALREADY WENT TO THE GARDEN IN THE OLD PLACE OF RESIDENCE…

The transfer of a child to a new kindergarten consists of two stages: deductions from one kindergarten and admission to another. Moreover, you must first obtain a ticket (referral) for enrollment in a new kindergarten. To do this, you need to apply with an application to the district education authority at the new place of residence.

A voucher (referral) is issued only if there are free places in the kindergarten.

Having received a voucher (referral), the parents (legal representatives) of the child write to the head of the kindergarten, where the child is now attending, a statement with a request for his expulsion. It indicates the last name, first name, patronymic of the child, date of birth, group of study, as well as the name and address of the kindergarten to which it is planned to transfer the child, indicating the reason for the transfer. A copy of the voucher-direction is attached to the application, which confirms the acceptance of the child in another kindergarten. If there is a debt to pay for the maintenance of a child in kindergarten, you will need to pay it off.

Next, an application for admission is written in the name of the head of the kindergarten to which the child is transferred. The application shall indicate the surname, name, patronymic of the child, the date of his birth, as well as the surname, name, patronymic of the parents (legal representatives) of the child.

Already in the new kindergarten, an application and admission of the child, a voucher, the original document proving the identity of the applicant, the child’s medical card and other documents, if any, are submitted.

The head of the kindergarten issues an order to enroll the child and concludes an agreement with the parents (legal representatives) of the child.

IF YOU ARE REJECTED…

#FOOTNOTE#According to the law1, you can be refused on the basis of the child’s age: if he is under 2 months old or older than 7 years old, or because there are no free places in kindergarten. There are no other legal grounds for refusing admission.

If there are no vacant places in the kindergarten, the child’s parents must contact the district education authority at the place of registration to resolve the issue of placing the child in another kindergarten2.

According to the legal position of the Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation, expressed in Resolution No. 5-P dated May 15, 2006, the state and municipalities, based on the constitutional requirement that preschool education is generally accessible, regardless of place of residence, are obliged to maintain a sufficient number of existing preschool educational institutions and the need to expand their network.

If you have been refused admission to your child, get the refusal in writing: you can file a complaint with the local authorities or the court. As a rule, the courts are on the side of the plaintiffs: Ruling of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation of August 13, 2014 No. 35-KG14-2; Determination of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation of February 17, 2015 No. 50-KG14-12; Appeal ruling of the Perm Regional Court dated March 25, 2015 in case No. 33-2748; Appeal ruling of the Omsk Regional Court dated 05.09.2012 in case No. 33-5207/2012; Appeal ruling of the Khabarovsk Regional Court dated 08/01/2012 in case No. 33-4953/2012.

But, of course, we wish you not to face problems when enrolling your child in kindergarten, even if after submitting the application you moved to another area of the city!

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