Some kids: Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me by Kate Clanchy

Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me by Kate Clanchy review – the reality of school life | Kate Clanchy

“Hide the fact / You are alienated” commands Priya, a schoolgirl poet taught by Kate Clanchy, who considers her life as a migrant. “Chew on the candy floss. / It melts in your mouth. Such foreign stuff!” The poets Clanchy has nurtured at the comprehensive where she teaches in Oxford are now well known. They’ve won poetry competitions and been included in her anthology England: Poems from a School. In Some Kids I Taught Clanchy has set out to tell the story of how this happened, while analysing the wider educational landscape in Britain over the past 20 years.

Her teaching career began in the early 1990s in London, Scotland and Essex. There’s a rather moving chapter contrasting her attempts at sex education in the three places, confronted with ignorance and homophobia, which entailed (surely no teacher could do this now?) taking one of her sixth formers to the GAY nightclub to celebrate his coming out. The decades since have been spent in Oxford, working in a series of state secondaries. She’s also had children herself, and describes with helpful honesty her deliberations about whether to send her “delicate, clever, between-class sprogs” to the school where she teaches: “the choosing year, I often seem to find myself in school standing at the bottom of a staircase listening to the harsh noise of descending teenagers and looking for my son’s peers”.

Passages like this would be easy to satirise, but thankfully Clanchy is aware of her status as a liberal meddler. “I still want to change the world,” she writes, “and think that school is an excellent place to do it.” However, she worries about whether she’s “a posh do-gooder, a Victorian lady on a mission who has not noticed that her message is obscured by her person, and the injustices of class which she embodies”.

I worried about this too, but I remained convinced that her efforts are worthwhile. The book’s weakness is also its strength: the specificity of Clanchy’s perspective. She’s white, middle-class and private school educated and makes no attempt to hide it. Her insights therefore avoid the vague generalisations we might find in a government report and come with the practical wisdom of a teacher on the ground – “a bodily experience, like learning to be a beekeeper, or an acrobat”. For those of us who haven’t been in a classroom for some time, she successfully evokes the full sensorium of school life.

Clanchy admits to her own prejudice: not just prejudice she’s overcome but prejudice she retains. She seems right to believe that after teaching so many students from so many countries she isn’t racist. But she remains not just frustrated but repelled by the more complacent examples of the white working class, and therefore all the more frustrated by the rigidity of the class structure. Take Cheyenne, for example, an angry 15-year-old who develops the disturbing habit of stalking Clanchy at the weekend, taunting her because her family’s ordinary clothes and bikes contrast with the shininess of Cheyenne’s own. Clanchy sympathises with Cheyenne, who is perplexed that goods and status are so wonkily aligned, but she also fears her “mean mouth” and “the class hate she carries with her”.

She describes her deliberations about whether to send her ‘delicate, clever sprogs’ to the school where she teaches

It’s through Cheyenne and children like her that Clanchy makes the case against church and grammar schools, which is the most passionate argument in the book. The arguments against allowing these schools to take the best students from comprehensives are well known, but she shows what this feels like for the teachers and students in an undesirable comprehensive: the feeling that there’s no point trying because the people with any hope of succeeding (the people for whom A-levels were designed in the first place) are elsewhere. The experience of Clanchy’s son at the school where she teaches provides a revealing case study. He enjoys his time there and gets his A*s at GCSE, as good students in bad schools have been shown to generally manage to do. But he leaves for a different sixth form to take his A-levels, because the way schools are funded means that only those with large numbers of motivated, academically adept students are able to offer a wide range of A-level subjects, resulting in further segregation. Clanchy demonstrates why this is so and why it’s a problem that it is.

When it comes to other political matters, her partial, experience-driven perspective can be more frustrating. Her thoughts on the hijab, for example, feel a little underdeveloped. One of the book’s most passionate cases is for teaching creative writing as a major part of secondary English teaching. She’s right to point out that art and music students learn through practice and imitation but that when it comes to writing, students are required only to critique the writing of others. Clanchy is convinced that she’s not offering therapy when she teaches writing. She does not clarify what she’s offering instead, but it seems to be a confidence in self-expression and an alert yet intuitive kind of reading. It’s clear that for the students she quotes it has provided moral and emotional growth. As the curriculum gets more drearily objective driven, inspiring teachers become more constrained. The liberal ethos has its own restrictions, but it may still be the best we have. We need people like Clanchy to keep these ideals alive.

Lara Feigel is the author of Free Woman: Life, Liberation and Doris Lessing. Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me is published by Picador (£16.99). To order a copy go to guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over £15, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of £1.99.

This article was amended on 4 April 2019, to correct a description of one student.

Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me – Review – COPPER LANTERN BOOK REVIEWS

I’m sure most people have heard of Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me by Kate Clanchy, and the controversy about it. I thought of reviewing the book at the time (which I borrowed via my local Borrowbox library app). However I rarely write negative reviews. And from the language I read she had used, I was fairly sure a review would have to be negative.

I was correct.

The Book’s Language

So, why do some people object to Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me?

Now, I was half expecting to find that the outrage was overblown.

As usual, the media had reported the most innocuous phrases – “chocolate coloured skin” – presumably in order to make Clanchy’s detractors seem hysterical and foolish.

Delving into it proves the outrage is categorically not overblown. It was far, far worse than I imagined. Much better writers than I have catalogued the misinformation, racist language, ableism, and other prejudices expressed in Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me.

What I was not expecting is just how objectively creepy the book is. Clanchy refers to her pupils’ ‘bosoms’ four times, on page 260 using such crude and disgusting language about a child’s body that I do not wish to repeat it.

She describes her bigger pupils with luxurious, eloquent cruelty; wants to put burqas on the ‘pretty’ ones she deems too risqué. She describes one girl as having “a soft, breathy voice to match the Bambi lashes” – a turn of phrase which made me shudder.

And of course, there was the fatphobia.

Fatphobia in the Book

“I check myself, anxiously, frequently, against my middle class peers… but Lianne is not middle class.”

Her descriptions of her larger pupils, and her repeated linking of fatness with being working class are just… I didn’t think that many people actually thought like this; and I thought that if they did, they would at least have the decency to keep it to themselves.

“As if refusing middle class food along with middle class ambition, Danielle put on weight.”

There is intelligent analysis to be done about the time and monetary constraints around food that can lead to ill health. (I’d encourage you to read Jack Monroe’s incredibly intelligent and nuanced writing about the topic). Kate Clanchy is… not doing that.

(Although you may get a chuckle from her insistence that she can resist biscuits because she is middle class).

‘Janine’

Even more grotesque is the section on page 267 where she discusses a child rape victim; not in terms of the child’s pain, or how this attack has affected her emotionally. No, in terms of how the poor girl has gone from “a slim neck and cheekboney face and the most beautiful warm blonde hair” to this infamous, and much repeated quote:

“She wasn’t a pretty girl, even by the standards of the IU… she was fat, a swathe of freckly flesh bulging out of her collar, blurring her jawline, giving her premature double chins.”

The only reason that this child is mentioned at all is in the context of Clanchy denigrating the child’s looks. There is no discussion of her trauma; no concern for her welfare; no mention of support for this traumatised child. Just a scathing critique of how being raped has led to a perceived decline in this child’s physical appearance.

How on earth did Clanchy herself, not to mention multiple editors, not see how utterly wrong it is to describe a child rape victim in this manner?

Wider Response

One of the inciting incidents for this controversy was a teacher, nicknamed Ceridwen, on Goodreads. She quoted excerpts of Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me and discussed which aspects of the language she considered to be harmful. Clanchy (falsely) accused Ceridwen of fabricating the quotes; then of taking them out of context (the context does not improve the quotes).

She also allegedly threatened to contact Ceridwen’s employer, and accused her of abuse and defamation. The reviewer has responded with a great deal of grace and dignity, ultimately refusing to remove her review.

Several authors of colour, including Monisha Rajesh, Chimene Suleyman and Professor Sunny Singh, politely critiqued the racism, and other problematic aspects, of Clanchy’s book. They were immediately attacked and harassed. Disappointingly, Phillip Pullman, (an author whose work I love), rode in to call the women criticising Clanchy’s work akin to ‘the Taliban’.

Monisha Rajesh, Chimene Suleyman and Professor Sunny Singh have been bullied and harassed for months. It’s affected their mental health and wellbeing; Suleyman has spoken about this, movingly, online. Singh actually reached out during the original incident to try to organise support for Clanchy.

Picador’s Behaviour

On 11th of August 2021, Picador (rightly) apologised on Clanchy’s behalf and promised to hire sensitivity readers for future edits. Monisha Rajesh has said that Picador Books engaged in “private apologies to us (the authors who were harassed), hand-wringing and numerous emails from Picador asking for me to meet them…”.

Philip Gwyn Jones*, a publisher at Picador, spoke to the Telegraph, to say that their only regret was not making their support for the author, and her rights, more clear. Ultimately the two parted ways, and Clanchy has a new publisher.

*Gwyn Jones has since issued a rather disingenuous apology, and claims he was not speaking on behalf of Picador Books.

Kate Clanchy on ‘Cancellation’

I wasn’t actually going to publish this post. I wrote it for catharsis.

Then I saw her interview about ‘cancellation’ in Prospect Magazine, along with the 20+ other articles arguing that an author who allegedly tried to get an amateur book reviewer fired for not liking her book was some sort of victim. I became even more irritated when (increasingly right wing rag) The Observer, via Sonia Sodha, claimed that Clanchy was a victim of a ‘witch hunt’.

Kate Clanchy – who allegedly threatened to contact someone’s employer… for accurately quoting her.

Clanchy claims her former students support her, and has trotted out some examples on Twitter and in the press. Notably a pupil whom Clanchy described in glowing terms, waxing lyrical about her beauty and ‘almond shaped eyes’ – a description her former pupil found flattering, although other POC have discussed how they find being described in food related terms offensive.

It’s telling that the students she described in terms of their (apparently inherently working class) weight gain and ugliness aren’t defending her in the national press; or the pupils with autism she described as being ‘odd’, ‘jarring’, and ‘hard to identify as girls’. Pupils, whom, by the way, Clanchy recounts setting a pointless task for her own amusement.

I wonder how ‘Janine’ feels about Clanchy?

Cancel Culture

Has Clanchy, a published poet and author with a supportive publisher, who continues to be lauded in the press, been ‘cancelled’? No.

Clanchy’s book is in shops and online, she’s been the recipient of multiple fawning articles. I won’t even touch the absurdity of Sonia Sodha’s claim that the critiques of Clanchy’s work were based in misogyny. It’s doubly ridiculous when referring to women criticising a book in which the author repeatedly refers to her female pupils in misogynistic and dehumanising terms.

Clanchy has the publishing world, the press and her connections. Her critics lack both her power and platform.

In the End

Clanchy is a good writer; she objectively has a good grasp of language and form. Many people in the writing world have lauded her supposed talent and compassion. However this memoir portrays her as an educator who thinks fat is a moral failing; that the saddest and most important thing about a child rape survivor is her looks;  that the working class inherently lack ambition and self control.

I found this book – and the praise heaped upon it – disturbing. I did not realise that so many people find the views expressed in this book to be acceptable, let alone laudable. People are still describing the memoir as ‘funny’ or ‘heart warming’, which makes me wonder if we read two different books. I only really wrote this review to get it out of my head; I want to stop thinking about it.

I do not recommend Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me.

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Why some children cannot stand up for themselves — and what do their parents have to do with it

Children (and then adults) are divided into those who know how to communicate within the boundaries, and those who do not even know about their existence. Together with child psychologist Vera Safronova, we figure out whether a child should respond to offenders and how he should react to someone’s unwillingness to be friends.

At preschool age, children only learn to communicate with society – and with other children in particular. And even if a child for some reason does not attend kindergarten and, in principle, communicates little with strangers, he will have to go to school, and a collision with reality is inevitable.

According to child psychologist Vera Safronova, at the age of 6-7, a child basically goes through a rather difficult period: “A lot of changes happen to him at once. This is a crisis of 7 years, and the transition from gaming to learning activities, and, of course, moving into society, and adapting to school life. School is the place (and time) where the child consciously learns to build social connections, learns to be aware of himself and asks the questions “Who am I in society?”, “What am I capable of?”, “How can I maintain relationships with others?” , “Can I be friends?”.

In these circumstances, it is especially difficult for children who find it difficult to stand up for themselves, who do not understand that every person does not have to be “good” towards them at all. “Such a child,” the expert says, “needs the help and support of parents who must analyze the situation and understand where mistakes were made and how exactly you can and should help.”

Photo: Africa Studio / shutterstock / fotodom

Why a child cannot stand up for himself

Relationships in the family are always the basis of children’s behavior. What exactly is the reason for the child’s inability to stand up for himself? There are two hypotheses on this score, and they are completely opposite.

“The first one is not the most rosy, and parents most often do not want to admit that this is even possible,” says Vera Safronova. “This is such a scenario of parent-child relationship in which the mother (or other significant adult) abruptly cuts off contact with the child. ” The most striking markers of such a situation are the phrases that are regularly heard in the speech of an adult:

• “Well, that’s it, and now play by yourself!”
• “So, I’ll leave now!”
• “Well, stay here alone!”

“Such manipulative behavior abruptly cuts off communication and prevents the child from expressing his anger,” explains the psychologist. – These phrases suppress the child’s anger, and he simply cannot confront his parents for fear of being abandoned. It’s easier for him to accept, to swallow resentment – this is the only way to save a relationship. And the only way to protect yourself from the attacks of a significant adult.

The second hypothesis is, on the contrary, a story about overprotection. The story is about the fact that the child had no experience of communication with others (including negative ones), because he was strongly taken care of and all his needs were put above the needs of other family members and other people in principle. As a result, the child, on the one hand, considers himself grandiose and may unconsciously behave arrogantly with others (which provokes aggression towards him). And on the other hand, he does not have a negative social experience of communication, which means he does not have the skills to respond to such situations, that is, he cannot stand up for himself.

“In addition, such a parental attitude towards raising a child leads to the formation of an egocentric personality,” adds the psychologist. – A child simply cannot look at the other in a relationship as an equal. And friendship is always a relationship on an equal footing. And, naturally, it is difficult for such a child to descend to friendship – and it is difficult to react to a refusal to be friends.

The problem of personal space

Vera Safronova advises starting the analysis of a child’s behavior by answering the following questions: “What in the behavior of the family or parents can lead to such behavior?”, “What prevents the child from standing up for himself?” Analyze the following points:

• How often do you harm yourself?
• How do you yourself react to sharp statements?
• What is the place in your picture of the world of the position “do not offend others, do not feel guilty”?

If these topics bother you, then the reason for the child’s behavior may lie precisely in the fact that, most likely, adults themselves have problems with their own boundaries, and the child only mirrors their behavior.

“In this case, it helps when the parents realize the problem and start working with it,” says the psychologist. – I saw miracles at my consultations: a mother who learned to stand up for herself, to say “no”, automatically changed the child’s behavior: he became more determined, began to show his feelings, including anger (it helps us a lot to build boundaries), began talk about your needs to another.”

The expert also advises to pay attention to whether the child has personal space and the opportunity to define their boundaries in the family. “Don’t you come into the child’s room without knocking? Or does he not have his own room, because he is “not grown up yet”? Even the phrase “grow up – you know” is, in fact, an indirect violation of personal space, – explains Vera Safronova. – And there is also such a postulate as “it is necessary to share with the little ones”, – this is the case when the child’s personal belongings are taken away and given to the younger ones without discussion. Is this a violation of privacy? Violation”.

And if any of this (or all at once) is present in the life of a child, then, according to the psychologist, there is nothing to be surprised at: “The child simply does not know where his boundaries are, and, naturally, does not understand how to protect them, how to take care of yourself.”

Photo: LightField Studios / shutterstock / fotodom

How to help a child

The first thing to do (after analyzing the situation and eliminating the cause, if it is hidden in the mirroring of parental behavior) is to teach the child to define his boundaries, to recognize manipulations. And train his social skills.

“At first, you will have to act as a protector of the child, and at the same time, by personal example, show him how to behave in conflict situations, how to say “no” in a situation where you need to say “no,” the psychologist recommends. It is important that the child hears from his parents (not only addressed to him, but in general, in life) the phrases:

• “This does not suit me”;
• “You can’t do that with me”;
• “This behavior upsets and even hurts me”;
• “I hate to hear that. ”

It is necessary to talk with the child as much as possible and discuss literally every situation that is uncomfortable for him. What phrases were offensive to him (“I am not friends with you”)? What name-calling or teasing touched him, and why exactly did they turn out to be unpleasant? Ask your child questions more often: “Is it good when they do this to others?”, “Is it pleasant or not?”, “How do you feel when they say this?”, “What do you want to answer?”, “What can be done in this situation?”

At the age of 6–7 years, according to the expert, it is still possible and necessary to analyze different life situations in the game. You can play the story when the child has treasures and there is a hero who is trying to take them. It is necessary not only to play, but to carefully observe how the child reacts, how he defends himself in the role of his hero, and help him learn phrases in the game that help to stand up for himself: “The task of these games is to learn to say a firm “no”, to say “I won’t give you” , “get away”, “this doesn’t suit me,” says the expert.

Moreover, the psychologist strongly advises to switch roles so that the child also acts as an aggressor, says unpleasant words, legally displays aggressive behavior, and feels this moment.

It is also necessary to increase the child’s self-esteem, support him in choosing hobbies and hobbies

It is necessary to praise him for his successes and start a ritual of celebrating “small victories” (come up with a “victory dance”, bake a traditional family cake, have a tea party). This will help the child feel more confident in principle and help build better relationships with others.

It is important to help your child maintain friendships and relationships outside of school — invite friends to visit, for holidays: “Let the child choose the guests, decide for himself who to invite and with whom he should be friends. It is his responsibility to learn how to build connections and relationships. The task of parents here is to support.”

But the most important thing is not to expect lightning-fast results. “A child who has demonstrated rather defenseless behavior and reactions throughout preschool age cannot learn to behave differently at the snap of his fingers,” the psychologist warns. — This is a long and painstaking work. It is important for parents to admit that there is a problem and a miracle will not happen. The child will not become sharply perky, active and courageous. But school is only the entrance to social life, and it is not too late to start actively helping the child build boundaries and social ties.”

Cover photo: Iryna Inshyna / shutterstock / fotodom

Why some kids look immature compared to their peers

You may have first noticed your child’s unusual behavior at a classmate’s birthday party. All the other kids were pretty calm, but your kid couldn’t sit still and got frustrated because he couldn’t wait for the cake.

You may be wondering why your child is still throwing tantrums, or why your child is acting so much more immature than other children his age.

Children develop skills at different rates. This also applies to skills such as impulse control and reading social cues. Some kids just need more time to develop. But sometimes immature behavior is a sign that the child is experiencing some difficulties and needs more support.

Learn about common causes of immature behavior and what you can do to help.

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How immature behavior can manifest itself

Immature behavior can manifest differently in different children. Here are some common examples of immature behavior you may see in your child:

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• Annoys other children by talking too much or “interfering” with their games.

• Overreacts to seemingly insignificant things and takes a long time to calm down.

• Very clingy and does not want to part with people he likes.

• The child has to repeat the same rules over and over again, for example, “do not climb on the sofa with your feet. ”

• Has difficulty going to the toilet, such as urinating or being afraid to poop.

• Overly sensitive to things like loud noises or the feel of fabric material against skin.

• “Babbles” or speaks in a way that is difficult to understand.

• Has difficulty dressing or holding a pencil when writing.

Some parents may feel that their child is “acting immature” all the time. Other parents may notice immature behavior in certain settings or at certain times. Each child is individual.

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What can cause immature behavior in children

There are many reasons why children may behave immaturely in front of their peers. For example, consider what month your baby was born. Is it possible that your child is one of the youngest students in the class? It might matter.

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Here are a few other reasons why kids may seem less mature than other kids their age:

Hyperactivity: Does your child feel like a motor, charged up like an Energizer commercial bunny?

Trouble concentrating: Does your child often have their head in the clouds? Do you often have to repeat even a simple task to him?

Learning Disorders: Does your child have problems reading, writing or math? Sometimes children behave immaturely because they fall behind in their studies.

Perception problems: Some children are sensitive to sensory information. They may also develop fear or depression from loud noises or bright lights. What looks like a tantrum may actually be sensory overload.

Anxiety or shyness: Does your child take a long time to get used to other children? Anxiety and shyness are surprisingly common experiences for children.

Language Development Disorders: Does your child have problems speaking words or expressing thoughts? This can be frustrating and make children nervous. They may be teased or ignored due to speech problems.

Sleep: Many children regularly sleep less than six hours a night. Because of this, they can become irritable. Lack of sleep in a child can also affect your sleep. And it can affect the relationship between children and their families.

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What to do?

It is very important to observe your child and take notes about what you see and under what circumstances immature behavior occurs. For example, your child still has temper tantrums. By observing, you can begin to notice patterns and better understand your child’s behavior.

Learn about developmental norms for your child’s age. You can also ask your child’s doctor if what is happening is typical behavior.

Also talk to your child’s teacher. Share what you observed at home and find out if your child behaves the same way at school. Be aware that your child’s age and factors such as race may affect how others perceive your child. If your child is one of the younger students in the class, make sure the teacher is aware of this.

Make sure the child does not have a learning or attention disorder. Learn:

– how the symptoms of dyslexia manifest themselves depending on age;

– how ADHD symptoms manifest themselves in relation to age;

– difference between attention disorders with similar symptoms

If your child is not sleeping well, change his sleep patterns.