Questions to ask your kids about you: 9 Cool Questions to Ask Your Kid

Опубликовано: February 2, 2023 в 7:26 am

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Категории: Kid

How to Get Your Child to Talk About School

Some kids love talking about school. With others, it’s like pulling teeth to get them to share even a few details about their day — especially if something’s upsetting them, like bullying or struggling in school.

If your child is on the quieter side or is very private, there are ways to ask questions that will open up a conversation instead of shutting one down. Here are some key things to keep in mind.

1. Ask open-ended questions. If you ask a question that can be answered with one word — yes or no — that’s what you’ll get. A one-word answer. Try asking open-ended questions instead.

Example: “What was the best thing you did at school today?”

2. Start with a factual observation. Kids often have a hard time answering questions that seem to come out of the blue. Making an observation gives your child something to relate to.

Example: “I know you have a lot more kids in your class this year. What’s that like?”

3. Share something about yourself. When someone tells you about themselves, it’s natural to want to do that in return. Share something with your child and see what you get back.

Example: “We always played dodgeball at recess. What do you and your friends like to do?”

4. Avoid negative questions. If you think something isn’t going well, your questions may come out in a negative way, with emotion-packed words like sad or mean. Asking in a positive way lets your child express concerns.

Example: “I heard that you sat with new people at lunch today. What did you talk about?”

Here are other examples of how to say things differently to get your child to open up.

Afterschool conversation starters

Instead of this Try this
Was school fun today? What was the best thing you did at school?
How was lunch? Which kids were sitting near you at lunch?
Was your teacher nice? What was the most interesting thing your teacher said today?
Did you get your locker today? How was it getting to your locker between classes?
Were the kids in your class friendly? Who did you like talking to the most?
Did you get your schedule? You got your schedule today, right? Which days look busiest?
Do you have friends in your classes? Who are the kids you talk to most in your classes?
Did your presentation go well? What part of the presentation do you think was best?

 

Phrasing your questions this way invites your child to talk. But don’t expect for every question to result in a long, detailed answer. The goal is to have many small conversations over time. It helps to find natural moments to talk — like at dinner or riding in the car — when you’re not in a rush.

Sometimes kids, like adults, just don’t feel like talking. It’s important to know when to stop asking questions and leave it for another time. But if there’s something urgent or serious going on, you’ll have to ask direct, specific questions and push for an answer.

Looking for more conversation starters and responses to use with your child? Find out what to say when your child:

  • Gets frustrated
  • Doesn’t want to go to school
  • Says “I’m dumb”
  • Gets a report card
  • Is distracted or unfocused

You may also want to read why one mom stopped saying “have a good day” to her son.

Key takeaways

  • Sharing something about yourself can get your child to open up.

  • Positive questions (“What’s your favorite class?”) let your child express concerns.

  • Find natural moments to talk — like at dinner or riding in the car — when you’re not in a rush.

    Related topics

    • Parenting

    • School struggles

    • Strategies and tips

    65 Questions to Ask Your Kids to Get Them Talking

    Home » 65 Questions to Ask Your Kids to Get Them Talking

    Kids Corner

    By Life Family FunPublished on

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    Talking to your kids can be difficult if your little ones aren’t the most outgoing. Maybe you might be even having trouble because you don’t know what your child’s interests are at the moment. It may be a challenge to hold a conversation that starts off more than just, ‘How was school today?’ Whether you’re trying to get them to warm up to a new friend, or trying to get them to open up about a tough day they had, we’ll give you successful ice breakers to help your child feel more comfortable.

    What is your favorite…

    • Which computer games are your favorite?
    • Who is your favorite musician?
    • What types of shoes are your favorite?
    • Which pets are your favorite, dogs or cats?
    • What are your favorite kinds of clothes to wear?
    • Name your favorite basketball players.
    • What’s your favorite ice-cream flavor?
    • What’s your favorite toy?
    • What’s your favorite dress?
    • What’s your favorite hat?
    • What’s your favorite meal from dad?
    • What’s your favorite meal from mom?
    • What’s your favorite thing to watch on TV?

    If you could…

    • If you could be a superhero, which one would you be and why?
    • If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    • If you could be the teacher for a day, what would you teach the class?
    • If you could name a star, what would the name be?
    • If you could live on any planet, which one would it be?
    • If you could have the world to yourself, what would you do?
    • If you could rename the colors of the rainbow, what would you name them?
    • If you could invent a holiday, what would it be?
    • If you could take a trip around the world in 80 days, which countries would you visit?
    • If you opened an online store, what would you sell?
    • If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
    • If you could keep one item in your home, what would it be?
    • If you had 1 hour to live, what would you do?

    Personal

    • Why is it important to vote?
    • What was the funniest thing that happened today?
    • What did you learn today?
    • Do you think it’s important to wear name-brand clothing? Why?
    • Where were you born?
    • What kind of career do you want?
    • How do you want to change the world?
    • What snacks did you eat today?
    • What kind of daydreams do you have?
    • What kind of nightmares do you have?
    • How are your friends doing?
    • What dreams do you want to come true?
    • What does love mean to you?

    Would you rather…

    • Would you rather eat a chicken sandwich from a restaurant or one that your mom cooks?
    • Would you rather drink a whole gallon of milk or a gallon of pickle juice?
    • Would you rather receive $25,000 a year or receive $10 million every 5 years?
    • Would you rather fly or be super strong?
    • Would you rather eat burgers or pizza?
    • Would you rather be a singer or an actor?
    • Would you rather have a trampoline or a playground?
    • Would you rather swim in a pool of chocolate pudding or jello?
    • Would you rather ride a bike or ride a horse?
    • Would you rather be an awesome dancer or direct movies?
    • Would you rather stay dirty all the time or bathe in tomato juice all the time?
    • Would you rather get stung by a bee or eat a worm?
    • Would you rather be a snake or an eagle?

    Just for fun…

    • What do you like to do for fun?
    • What video games do you like to play?
    • Do you like pop music?
    • What video game streamer do you like to watch?
    • What decade would you want to live in?
    • What country would you like to go to?
    • What cities do you like to go to?
    • Which states are the best?
    • What do your friends like to do for fun?
    • What food is fun to eat?
    • What’s your least favorite thing to do?
    • What do you like to do for the holidays?
    • What games do you play at the park?

    That’s all for now! We hope you try any and all of these questions to break the ice or learn more about your child. You can also use these questions with adults! Use them as ice breakers for any party, meeting, or game night.

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    Reader Interactions

    Questions to ask a child every day

    All about education0

    Often in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, in the rush of business, we forget to talk heart to heart with our baby. This leads to the fact that the relationship becomes formal, and emotionally, the gap between children and parents grows. How can this be avoided?

    Often in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, in the rush of business, we forget to talk heart to heart with our baby. This leads to the fact that the relationship becomes formal, and emotionally, the gap between children and parents grows. How can this be avoided? nine0003

    Scientists have found that we spend an average of 12.5 minutes a day with our children. Of this time, 8.5 minutes are spent on reproaches, prohibitions, etc. There are only 4 minutes left for friendly communication!

    Writer Jamie Harrington found a way out of this situation by formulating 4 questions to ask your child every day

    » Ask your child open-ended questions. These are the kind of questions your child can’t just answer yes or no. Open-ended questions encourage children to describe their feelings and evaluate their actions and the actions of others, and parents can get to know their child better and learn to understand him.0013

    Jamie Harrington psychologist, writer.

    So, questions to ask your baby every day:

    1. How was your day?

    If at first your baby will wave away and say “okay”, “it’s okay”, etc. you should not once swoop in with an interrogation and, as they say, “pull out a story with pincers.” You can say “Well, okay, if you want, then you can say. And here is what I did today. And today in a day, imagine, this and this happened. And believe me, even the most shy, secretive child will begin to share with you what is on his mind. nine0003

    2. How are your friends?

    You can ask about one particular friend you know or about all friends in general. For example: “Which of your friends do you think I like the most? Why? Tell me about your best friend. What qualities should a good friend have? What is the nicest thing your friend has done for you? Which of your friends are you most proud of? Why? Have you described me to your friends? If you knew that your friend had stolen something, what would you do? As you understand, these questions are for different cases. nine0003

    3. What good thing happened to you during the day?

    Even on a day when the weather is bad outside or on a day when a math test was difficult, it is difficult to remember something pleasant that happened to you during the day. And if you don’t remember, then cheer yourself up on your own. For example, unplanned going to the cinema, playing some board games at home, etc. Such fantasies will lead both you and the child out of heavy thoughts into a wave of positive emotions.

    4. Do you need my help?

    We all know how difficult it is sometimes to ask someone for help. A child who is not used to receiving help in small things is unlikely to turn to you for help in a difficult situation. So start small — offer to help clean the room, help with homework, etc. Do not be afraid to spoil your son or daughter, because the more you help with little things, the more likely it is that in the event of a serious conflict, the child will come to you for advice. However, this does not mean that you need to start doing everything instead of the child. nine0003

    Advice:

    When listening to your child’s story, don’t interrupt or judge, only comment when asked. Don’t ignore body contact, hug your baby, or take your hand. If you are in a bad mood right now or you don’t have time, tell your child honestly about it and agree when you can talk later.

    Share:

    5 questions to ask your child every day

    1 “Are you happy?”

    “Are you happy?” – for some reason mothers are afraid to ask this simple question to their children. Why is he so important?

    Children are usually told that the most important thing is to study, behave well and obey their mother. But growing up, such a person cannot figure out what he wants, who he really is . Indeed, in childhood, he did not learn a simple thing – to identify his feelings.

    So start asking this question every day. And you will be surprised how accurately at some point the child will begin to respond to it, each time defining in a new way when he is in a state of happiness and when he is not. And over the years, growing up, he will not allow himself to become unhappy – to go to an unloved job or to do a business that will not make him happy. nine0003

    2 “Are you all right?”

    You see that your child is thinking about something or looks sad. Then just go up and ask him: “Are you all right?”. What for? This will allow the baby to realize what is happening to him , and create a strong trusting bond between you. After all, nothing brings parents and children closer than support and confidence that all family members take care of each other. And even if he answers you simply “Everything is in order”, in his heart he will know that he is not alone, but his mother is always there. nine0003

    5 parental phrases that will break a child’s life

    3 “What was the best day today?”

    This question is best asked in the evening and is especially great if it is included in the ritual before going to bed. It is very important not only to demand an account from the child of what he had at school, but to tell about himself first, to share news about the successful completion of the project, meeting with a friend, or even the impression of the dessert he ate. So you show an example of how to answer this question. Over time baby will begin to participate in this dialogue and share the joys of his day.

    4

    “What was the worst day today?”

    This question is no less important. Indeed, often parents do not even know about what problems occur in the life of a child. And to the question: “How was your day?” hear the answer: “Normal.” But a trusting relationship will never arise if the parent himself does not speak honestly about his worries. Try to share something important with your child, and believe me, he will love you back.

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    5

    “What would you change, if you could, about today?”

    Asking this question to a child, you teach him to think, analyze and help him to believe in his abilities. You give the child faith that everything can be changed for the better, no matter how bad the past day turned out to be.