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10 Nonverbal Cues That Convey Confidence At Work
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Imagine your co-worker storms into her office after lunch. She’s red-faced, tight-lipped and speaks to no one. She throws her briefcase on the desk, plops down in her chair and glares out the window. You ask, “Are you all right?” She snaps back in an angry tone, “I’m fine!”
Which message do you believe: Her nonverbal communication (behavior and voice tone), or her verbal one (words alone)? “Most likely, you believe the nonverbal message,” says Darlene Price, author of Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results.
Price says research shows that when a person sends a mismatched message–where nonverbal and verbal messages are incongruent—recipients almost always believe the predominant nonverbal message over the verbal one. “In other words, how we say something is more impactful than what we say,” she explains. “In some studies, nonverbal communication has been shown to carry between 65% and 93% more impact than the actual words spoken, especially when the message involves emotional meaning and attitudes,” she adds.
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Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, says in a face-to-face interaction with just one person you can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute. “You cannot consciously control all that communication so it can be much more telling than the few words you could exchange in the same amount of time.
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What is a nonverbal cue, exactly?
Wood says nonverbal cues include “all the communication between people that do not have a direct verbal translation.” They are “body movements, body orientation, nuances of the voice, facial expressions, details of dress, and choice and movement of objects that communicate.” Time and space can also be perceived as having nonverbal cues.
“Simply put, nonverbal cues include all the ways you present and express yourself, apart from the actual words you speak,” Price adds. “And they are critically important at work and in business because perception is reality.”
She says Friedrich Nietzsche was spot on when he said, “All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses.”
“How others ‘sense’ or perceive you significantly impacts your success in the workplace,” Price explains. Otherwise brilliant people with great ideas and exceptional talent are often misjudged, mislabeled, and overlooked because of their ineffective nonverbal communication.
Because nonverbal cues are sent primarily from the “emotional brain” rather than the neocortex, they create more honest and revealing messages, Wood says. “Nonverbal cues can help business people determine others’ motivations and analyze business interactions with much more richness, depth, and insight than can come from simply relying on spoken or printed words.”
Professionals who understand nonverbal cues can evaluate what their clients, customers and co-workers are really telling them in order to know how to better meet their needs. “Employers can evaluate the messages their employees are sending to customers, clients or fellow workers and know whether that employee is hurting or helping business,” Wood says. “And employees can learn to read the subtle signals a boss is sending in order to adjust their behavior accordingly.”
In power-differential relationships, such as with superiors and subordinates, successful interactions depend on both parties being able to use and read body language, Wood explains.
“Superiors need to know how to make their subordinates comfortable while communicating their desires in order to get results. Subordinates need to know how to read the boss’s subtle signals to discern the best way to approach professional situations.”
Effective nonverbal communication is critically important for career advancement, Price adds. “Among the top traits employers look for when hiring or promoting a candidate for management are confidence, professionalism and enthusiasm. Expressing these and other leadership traits requires sending the right nonverbal cues.”
In Photos: 10 Nonverbal Cues That Convey Confidence at Work
You cannot avoid sending nonverbal messages to others; however, it is possible to train yourself to send the right ones. Here are ten nonverbal cues that convey confidence and credibility in the workplace.
Good eye contact. Eye contact is your primary tool for establishing nonverbal connections with others, Price says. “It communicates your level of involvement, interest and warmth. When speaking to others, ideally look directly into their eyes at least two to three seconds before looking away or moving to the next person. Merely glancing at someone for one second or less is known as eye dart and conveys insecurity, anxiety or evasion.” The next time you’re in a meeting or giving a speech, ask a friend to count how long you look at specific individuals and if you visually engage with everyone in the room.
A confident handshake. Communicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior. “Always put your hand out to shake hands,” Wood says. “A classic good handshake is one with full palm to palm contact.”
In business, the handshake is often the only appropriate expression of touch so it’s critical to have a good one, Price adds.
“A good handshake consists of a full and firm handclasp with palms embraced web to web. Shake up and down once or twice, coupled with a sincere smile and eye contact. Avoid the extremes of either a weak limp handshake or an aggressive bone-crushing one. Strike the right balance—firm enough to convey confidence yet matched to the strength of the other person. Treat men and women with equal respect when shaking hands. Gender makes no difference, and either may initiate the handshake.”
Effective gestures. A gesture is any physical movement that helps express an idea, opinion or emotion. “Strive to punctuate your words with movement that is natural, lively, purposeful and spontaneous,” Price says. “Be genuinely yourself and let your motions match your message. Avoid common distracting mannerisms such as finger-pointing, fidgeting, scratching, tapping, playing with hair, wringing hands, and twisting a ring.”
Dressing the part. Shakespeare asserts in Hamlet, “For the apparel oft proclaims the man.
” For men and women, clothing speaks volumes in the workplace, Price says. “Make sure ‘business casual’ is not ‘business careless.’ Choose high quality, well-tailored garments that convey professionalism. Depending on your corporate culture, wear a business suit or at least a jacket for important meetings and presentations, especially with senior leaders and customers. Avoid showy accessories, busy patterns, tight garments and revealing necklines.” Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If career advancement is your goal, convey a polished professional presence in the workplace.
To complement your business attire, take steps to control perspiration; avoid cologne or perfume due to others’ possible allergies and sensitivities to smell; ensure fresh breath; and keep nails and hands neatly manicured, Price suggests.
Authoritative posture and presence. “Take up space,” Wood says. Use the arms on the chair, or stand with your feet a bit apart. “A female leg stance in North America is with the feet typically 4 to 6 inches apart, and a male power stance starts with the feet more than 8 inches apart.
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Price adds, “When you stand up tall and straight, you send a message of self-assurance, authority and energy.” Whether standing or sitting, imagine a string gently pulling your head and spine toward the ceiling. Your weight is evenly balanced, feet solidly on the floor, arms and hands visible, relaxed and uncrossed. “Good posture creates a dynamic commanding presence and an attitude of leadership. Conversely, bad posture signals to others that you lack confidence and have low self-esteem or low energy levels.”
Appropriate facial expressions. “Each of the seven basic human emotions (anger, contempt, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness and surprise) has been scientifically proven to have a certain facial expression associated with it,” Price says. “Because your facial expressions are closely tied to emotion, they are often involuntary and unconscious.”
Imagine the mismatched message when a fearful pensive face describes the life-enriching benefits of a new healthcare product.
“Become aware of what your face is revealing to observers, and choose the expression that matches your intended message,” she says. “For example, if you want to convey energy and enthusiasm, allow your face to become more animated. Practice in front of a mirror until it looks and feels natural. To show you’re paying attention while listening, hold a very slight smile, nod occasionally, and maintain good eye contact.”
Initiating interactions. “Be the first to make eye contact, offer your hand to shake, have an idea or solution, go into a room, and make the call,” Wood says. “You can only afford to wait and go last when you are in the C-suite and ready to retire.”
Appropriate voice tone. If your significant other has ever said to you, “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it,” they were referring to your paralanguage, Price explains. “Separate from the actual words used, these nonverbal elements of your voice include voice tone, pacing, pausing, volume, inflection, pitch and articulation.
Like facial expressions, choosing the appropriate paralanguage is critically important because it conveys emotional meaning, attitude and impact.” Consider recording your side of several conversations throughout the day. Listen to the recordings and identify what your voice tone communicates.
Giving your full attention. When speaking with a person, point your toes and square your shoulders toward them, Price says. “This conveys attentiveness and creates open body language.” Avoid angling your body away from them. Lean into the conversation; focus your eyes, ears and energy on them. “These nonverbal cues clearly convey you respect, honor and appreciate the opportunity to meet with them. Make sure your arms and legs are uncrossed. Also, avoid multi-tasking during the interaction. Don’t check e-mail, look at your phone, send a text, check the scores, or disengage in any way. It shows disinterest and disrespect.”
Responding to others’ nonverbal cues. When leading a meeting, speaking to a group, or interacting one-on-one, pay close attention to the other person’s body language and voice tone, Price says.
“Listen with your eyes. Their nonverbal cues can tell you when they have a question, want to say something, agree or disagree, need a break, require more explanation, or have an emotional response.” By responding appropriately to others’ cues, you not only convey confidence in yourself, you show a high level of empathy, sensitivity and care for them which builds trust.
In Photos: 10 Nonverbal Cues That Convey Confidence at Work
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Confident, Wining Body Language: 10 Non-Verbal Cues that Project Confidence and Professional Presence
“Unless the audience sees the right image, it doesn’t hear the right message. We believe it when we see it.”
– Mark Bowden, “Winning Body Language”
You can dress the part and use the right words—and granted these are extremely important—but if your body language does not match, or is not congruent, with your visual and verbal message, you will not be believable.
In other words, you will not be able to successfully communicate your message.
From the moment you walk in the door, your body is telling people all about you; and body language is the fastest way you can showcase confidence to others and exude a winning first impression. Why is confidence so important? Because we are constantly looking for winners to lead us. According to a major study done by Carnegie Mellon University, a professional’s confidence is more important than a professional’s reputation, skill set, or history.
Over half of the information you provide others about the connection you have with them comes from your body language, or body talk. In fact, 55 percent of a message in conveyed by body language; 38 percent by the tone of voice; and the verbal content only 7 percent of the perceived communication. Yes, 93% percent of communication is nonverbal.
Following are 10 body language cues you can use to showcase your confidence and professional presence:
1.
Stand tall and maintain a wide stance.
Erect posture instantly identifies you as someone with something to contribute; and signals that you are confident. Stand like a winner. Not only will you look more confident, but you will feel more confident. And keep in mind that if you appear confident, people will think you have something to be confident about. People accept what you project.
Also keep in mind that when you sit, you want to maintain erect posture. Slouching or bad posture coveys you are a slob or not as competent as those who sit straight, according to Dr. Lillian Glass, a body language expert.
“Your body shapes your mind. Your mind shapes your behavior. And your behavior shapes your future. Let your body tell that you’re powerful and deserving, and you will feel more confident.”
-Amy Cuddy, “Presence”
2. Keep your head level; chin positioned properly.
A level head indicates an assured, candid, capable nature. It might also give your voice fuller tones and make you seem to be looking at people straight in the eye. A bowed head, eyes studying the floor, makes you look unsure, vulnerable, passive, and possibly even guilty of something.
3. Walk the walk.
From the moment you walk in the room with dignity and easy confidence you tell people you are someone who matters. Walking well begins with perfect posture. Keep your rib cage high and chin up to add confidence to your walk. Think tall and light, keeping your weight forward on the balls of your feet. Do not settle into each step. Keep your momentum evenly spaced, and walk with a natural, comfortable rhythm. In general, powerful walking is more expansive, with more arm movement and a longer stride.
4. Keep hands visible.
Avoid putting both hands in your pockets.
It makes you appear uninterested or bored, uncommitted, and sometimes nervous. One hand is okay if the other hand is gesturing. Keeping hands open and palms facing upward indicates openness and honesty; and a willingness to connect with people.
“Pockets are murderers of rapport. When someone can see your hands, they feel more at ease and more likely to befriend you. When walking into a room or waiting to meet someone, keep your hands out of your pockets.”
– Vanessa Van Edwards, “Captivate”
5. Make eye contact.
Your eyes are powerful nonverbal tools in part because you make conscious choices of how to use them, and in part because they do a lot of things on their own. When meeting someone for the first time, it is considered polite to make eye contact for a few seconds, but it is considered quite rude to make eye contact and stare. Brief contact is considered normal, but outright staring at other people is interpreted as hostile or threatening.
Not making eye contact is just as powerful. You might break eye contact and look away to signal to the other person you are ready to end the conversation or frustrated that the other person is talking too much. Not making eye contact when you meet someone for the first time is also a sign of low self-esteem, or lack of self-confidence. Eye contact should be made 40 to 60 % of the time in the appropriate eye zones.
6. Use facial expressions to reinforce communication.
Your face is the focal point of conversation and interaction, so the impact of its movements and expressions is magnified. The face is a tool for communicating emotions and feelings, but it is also important for regulating and directing an interaction. Once you have started a conversation with another person, your facial expressions help to encourage, or conversely, discourage further interest and interaction.
Being overly expressive, on the other hand, can detract from your credibility.
In situations where you want to maximize your authority–minimize your movements and animation—especially if the audience is comprised mostly of men. When you appear calm and contained, you look more powerful.
7. Give a warm smile.
Smiling is a powerful and positive nonverbal cue for signaling likeability and friendliness. It is especially important to smile when you are meeting someone, since it signals a sincere interest in meeting them. Women, however, should be aware that excessive smiling can make them appear less credible in the professional arena.
“Smiling has huge consequences for establishing connections. A smile can improve and repair relationships or ease conflict. It’s a way of saying to the other person you can be trusted.”
– Marianne LaFrance, Psychology Professor, Yale University
8. Offer a firm handshake.
A handshake can produce a high degree of trust within a matter of seconds; and the power of the handshake should never be underestimated. In the Western Culture, the only acceptable physical touching when you are meeting someone in business for the first time is the handshake. And, even with handshakes, there are many variations of the “basic” handshake. The most important thing to keep in mind, if you want to make a positive impression and convey confidence, is to firmly clasp the other person’s hand when shaking hands. Squeeze until you feel their muscles tighten, then stop.
“Handshaking is a valuable form of nonverbal communication. It is a form of interactive body language the offers insights into how the other person views the world, him or herself, and you. It is a vital, if usually subconscious, part of creating a first impression and sending a parting message.”
– Robert E Brown and Dorothea Johnson, “The Power of Handshaking”
9.
Create a credible, professional vocal image.
Voice is an important part of the nonverbal behaviors and cues that you both send and receive. Most people don’t know or understand the nonverbal influence of their voice. Before you meet someone for the first time, more than likely you have spoken to them on the telephone. Thus, the opinions they form of you are based on one thing only—your voice. It is vital, therefore, that you project the correct vocal image. Speak with optimal volume; articulate clearly; avoid mumbling; avoid filler words and sloppy words. Sound confident in what you are saying, avoiding up-speak and excessive apologies.
10. Use gestures to reinforce communication.
If you want to appear comfortable and unguarded, your gestures need to start talking when you begin to speak. Don’t think about your gestures; they should appear natural and reinforce what you are saying.
Hand gestures make people listen to you. They make people pay attention to the acoustics of speech, according to Spence Kelly, a professor at Colgate University. Use them sparingly at key moments. When you gesture too much or too expansively, it can be distracting and detract from your message.
I agree with the body language experts who recommend gesturing to no higher than the top of your chest, and no lower than the bottom of your waist. However, some body language experts believe the power sphere extends to your face.
“Picture your power sphere as a circle that runs from the top of your eyes, out to the tips of your outstretched hands, down to the belly button and back up to your eyes again. Hands that hang below your navel lack energy and confidence.
– Carmine Gallo, “Talk Like Ted”
By: Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick
November 2018
“Non-verbal means of communication”.
“Visual contact”. Recommendations for teachers and parents MBDOU
Developed by the educator: Butolina Yulia Nikolaevna
Introduction
, which do not rely on words and other speech symbols.
There are two problems of understanding non-verbal communication:
• firstly, in linguistic and verbal communication, the process of transmitting and receiving information is realized by both parties, while in non-verbal communication it is carried out at the unconscious or subconscious levels – this introduces some complication in understanding this phenomenon and raises the question of the justification for using the concept of “communication”. Therefore, some consider it acceptable to use, when it comes to non-verbal communication, another concept of “non-verbal behavior”, understanding it as the behavior of an individual that carries certain information in itself, regardless of whether the individual is aware of it or not;
• secondly, in many scientific works there is confusion in the concepts of “non-verbal communication”, “non-verbal communication”, “non-verbal behavior”, most often used as synonyms.
However, it is important to separate these concepts and clarify the context. According to the definition proposed by V. A. Labunskaya, “non-verbal communication is a type of communication that is characterized by the use of non-verbal behavior and non-verbal communication as the main means of transmitting information, organizing interaction, forming an image and concept of a partner, exercising influence on another person.” Therefore, the concept of “non-verbal communication” is broader than the concept of “non-verbal communication”.
Associated with this problem are both well-established truths and questions that are still unanswered. It has been established that non-verbal ways of communication have two types of source of origin:
• biological evolution;
• culture.
Why do we need non-verbal means of communication?
Non-verbal means of communication are needed in order to:
1) regulate the course of the communication process, create psychological contact between partners;
2) enrich the meanings conveyed by words, guide the interpretation of a verbal text;
3) express emotions and reflect the interpretation of the situation.
Australian specialist A. Pease claims that 7% of information is transmitted with the help of words, 38% of sound means, 55% of facial expressions, gestures, postures. In other words, it is not so important what is said, but how it is done.
And although the opinions of experts in assessing the exact figures differ, it can be said with confidence that more than half of interpersonal communication is non-verbal communication. Therefore, listening to the interlocutor also means understanding sign language.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the founders of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how they could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to predominate on the screen.
Learning to understand nonverbal language is important for several reasons.
First, words can convey only factual knowledge, but to express feelings, words alone are often not enough. Feelings that are not amenable to verbal expression are transmitted in the language of non-verbal communication.
Secondly, knowledge of this language shows how much we can control ourselves. Non-verbal language tells us what people really think of us.
And finally, non-verbal communication is especially valuable because it is spontaneous and manifests itself unconsciously. Therefore, despite the fact that people weigh their words and control their facial expressions, it is often possible for hidden feelings to leak through gestures, intonation and voice coloring. That is, non-verbal communication channels rarely provide false information, as they are less controllable than verbal communication.
Classifications of non-verbal means of communication.
In socio-psychological studies, various classifications of non-verbal means of communication have been developed, which include all body movements, intonation characteristics of the voice, tactile impact, spatial organization of communication.
It should be noted that the non-verbal behavior of the individual is semi-functional. Non-verbal behavior
- Creates an image of a communication partner;
- Expresses the quality and change in the relationship of communication partners, forms these relationships;
- Is an indicator of the actual mental states of the individual;
- Acts as a clarification, change in the understanding of a verbal message, enhances the emotional richness of what was said;
- Maintains an optimal level of psychological intimacy between communicating;
Acts as an indicator of status-role relations.
The effectiveness of communication is determined not only by the degree of understanding of the interlocutor’s words.
But also the ability to correctly assess the behavior of the participants in communication. Their facial expressions, gestures, movements, posture, gaze orientation, that is, to understand the language of non-verbal (verbal – “verbal, oral”) communication. This language allows the speaker to express his feelings more fully. Shows how the participants in the dialogue control themselves, how they really relate to each other.
What non-verbal elements should be paid attention to during communication.
Visual contact.
Of exceptionally great importance in communication is the look – a complex that includes the state of the pupils of the eyes (constriction or dilation), eye color, shine, cornea, position of the eyebrows, eyelids, forehead, duration and direction of the gaze. Psychologists have shown that the gaze of a communicating person is closely connected with the process of thought formation (R. Axline, L. Wintere). The birth of a thought is a difficult and very intimate process, so a person looks away when a thought is just being formed, and when it is ready, then the look is directed at the interlocutor.
The speaker looks less at the partner – only to check his reaction. The listener in this sense is more active: he sends feedback signals to the speaker. If there is visual contact between the partners, there is a disposition to communicate, if not, it is worth considering whether it makes sense to continue it. To build a good relationship with the interlocutor, your gaze should meet his gaze for about 60-70% of the total time of communication. In business communication, you should not use dark glasses, as your partner will definitely have the feeling that you are looking at him point-blank. This will cause embarrassment and irritation, and the positive atmosphere of communication will be broken.
The most accurate signals about a person’s condition are transmitted with the help of the eyes, since the expansion or contraction of the pupil with constant illumination is beyond the control of consciousness. Excitement, interest, high spirits give the expansion of the pupil four times against the usual state.
Depression, melancholy cause the pupil to narrow, and at the same time, “beady eyes” or “snake” eyes are obtained. By carefully observing the gaze of a partner, we can choose the most favorable moments for communication. Chinese and Turkish merchants successfully used this feature when negotiating the price of goods: if the buyer gets what he wants, his pupils expand. The success of famous poker players is based on observing the opponent’s pupils: dilated pupils signal the receipt of an excellent card, constricted pupils indicate bluffing.
In communication, the direction of the gaze is also important, that is, the part of the face or body to which it is directed.
With the help of the eyes, you can convey a variety of expressions, thanks to them we can carry out the process of managing the course of a conversation, provide feedback in human behavior. The look helps in the exchange of remarks, since most statements without the participation of the eyes would be meaningless.
Even interlocutors on the Internet need a variety of emoticons, which are a substitute for such a means of non-verbal communication as the exchange of views, facial expressions. After all, without seeing each other, it is much more difficult to convey the feelings experienced. Developers of instant messaging programs, improving their program characteristics, are trying to include and expand the function of eye expression, general facial expressions and various hand gestures. And, as practice shows, the demand for such programs like ICQ is very high. People crave full-fledged communication on the Web. And the appearance of video calls in cell phones and the installation of video equipment on a computer that allows you to communicate in an interactive mode, contemplating each other, is precisely the answer to the need for live communication at a remote distance.
Also, the look takes part in the expression of intimacy, frankness. With it, you can set the degree of proximity to a person.
In communication, the gaze, as a rule, performs an information search, for example, the listener looks at the speaker, and if he paused, silently expects to continue without interrupting eye contact; gives a signal about a free communication channel, for example, speaking with an eye sign, reports that the conversation is over; helps to establish and maintain social relationships when we are looking for a person’s gaze to enter into a conversation.
Views.
In psychology, there are several types of views, each of which carries very significant information about a person’s thoughts:
1. Business look – when we look at the forehead and in the eyes of the interlocutor. Often we behave this way when meeting with unfamiliar people, leaders and bosses.
2. Social gaze – when we direct our eyes to the area of a person’s face in the area of the mouth, nose and eyes. It is typical in situations of easy communication with friends and acquaintances.
3. Intimate look – passes through the line of the interlocutor’s eyes and falls to a level below the chin, neck to other parts of the body. There may be dilation of the pupils, as a foretaste of pleasure.
It is more difficult for men to deceive their wives, girlfriends, as women can expose lies much faster by reading their eyes. How do they do it? First of all, according to the characteristic changes in the eyes due to contraction of the eye muscles. When trying to deceive, it is difficult for a person to withstand a gaze, he blinks and looks away. These signs can also be present with sadness, shame, disgust. If he experiences suffering, tears flow from his eyes, but they also appear with laughter and joy.
In any case, for the correct interpretation of non-verbal gestures, we take into account the environment, the context of circumstances. One thing can definitely be stated for sure: the expansion or contraction of the pupils, which occurs as a response to excitation, occurs involuntarily, without taking into account consciousness, the autonomic nervous system is involved in this.
If the direction of the gaze can still be somehow controlled, then changing the pupils is beyond our control. When we talk about a person: “he has expressive eyes”, “she has an evil look”, “she jinxed me”, then we mean exactly the information obtained through non-verbal communication when observing a person’s pupils. Children abandoned by their parents have a dry, distant look, filled with the pain of loneliness, which gives them an adult expression. On the contrary, beloved and caressed babies look at the world in a completely different way.
Longitude of gaze can indicate the degree of interest. Staring, inseparable will tell you about the intention to find out some information from you or force you to obey. For couples in love, such a look serves as a signal to begin active courtship. If a close look is directed at a sleeping person, subconsciously he may experience anxiety, even wake up. Interestingly, in the animal world, a gaze serves as a signal for an impending attack, so there is nothing surprising when, feeling such a signal from an unfamiliar person, you experience anxiety and a desire to hide.
With peripheral (lateral) vision, we are able to see objects and the environment around us, analyze the degree of danger.
Serial killers and maniacs look very different from the look of an ordinary person. All the previous behavior of a person up to a given point in time, the situations that he solves and the methods that he uses in eliminating problems – everything leaves an imprint on the expression of his eyes. A tired mother after a sleepless night with a baby, a pensioner living on crumbs, a student who did not receive a scholarship that he was counting on – everyone has peculiar expressions in their eyes. If, for example, you are in a close relationship with such people, you will definitely understand the reason for such a view.
The psychological essence of eye contact as an important element of non-verbal interaction can change under the influence of many variables, but it remains unshakable that eye contact indicates the types of certain relationships:
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“Distance”, positive pole – “inclusion” (relations of attachment, interest, acceptance). It corresponds to frequent, intense visual contact, obeying the rules in accordance with the role of the communicator and the recipient. The negative pole is “off” (detached, autonomous, alienated relationships). It corresponds to infrequent, non-intense or completely absent eye contact.
. “Position”, one pole of which consists of relations of “control” (dominance, power, suppression). These relationships correspond to such parameters as the intensity and duration of looking at the partner, especially at the moment of active communication or at the moment when the interlocutor states negative, but emotionally significant facts for him. “Position” is also represented by the pole “submission”. Relations that form this pole are characterized by “folded” eye contact, frequent and quick glances at the partner, as well as a rather persistent search for the partner’s gaze (looking into the eyes when the other does not want to make visual contact).
. “Valence”. On its positive pole there are relations of “emotional closeness” (goodwill, sympathy, friendship, disposition), and on the negative – relations of “emotional coldness” (hostility, negativism, suspicion, hostility). The relations of the “valence” group are transmitted through the intensity, frequency, duration of eye contact, but mainly the modality of the gaze and its psychophysiological characteristics testify to these relations. Hostility is transmitted not only through a gaze, but also through such indicators as coldness, harshness, etc., and friendliness is expressed through warm, affectionate eyes.
Conclusion.
There is even a special science – oculesics, which studies the language of the eyes and the visual behavior of people. This form of non-verbal communication takes place when two people look into each other’s eyes at the same time. Of course, eye contact can be interpreted differently in different cultures, but in general, eye contact is considered one of the most effective tools for establishing a connection between two people.
Eye contact is a science, which means we can learn to control our gaze, its duration and frequency, but there are things that are beyond our control – the size of the pupils. At 19In 75, psychologist Eckhard Hess, founder of the unusual science of pupillometry (the science of measuring pupil dilation) – found out that pupils can respond to more than just light. When we are interested in the person we are talking to or the subject of the conversation, our pupils dilate. When we are bored, the pupils get smaller. To prove this, the next time you go out with a friend, talk about a topic that your friend is interested in, and then suddenly change the topic of conversation and start talking, for example, about the unemployment rate in Papua and Guinea. Watch how his pupils react.
Having mastered the basics of the psychology of eye contact, you will be able to successfully establish both personal and professional relationships. Do not neglect the power of eye contact, but, on the contrary, you need to use it as much as possible.
References.
1. http://yandex.ru/yandsearch? clid=1972090.
2. boltyan.ru›lib_va/nayka/psih_ypr/0003_5.htm.
3. do.gendocs.ru›docs/index-359218.html…
4. boltyan.ru›lib_va/nayka/psih_ypr/0003_5.htm
5. http://yandex.ru/clck/jsredir?from= yandex.ru4.4740
how to impress an employer at an interview
Employers are primarily people who make human decisions, including those based on personal sympathy. This does not mean that experience and resume fade into the background. However, among the many applicants with brilliant resumes and excellent education, who have equal chances, only one will be selected. There are a few simple tips that will increase your chances of getting the job you want.
Naturalness is the most winning strategy. If you are reserved and closed in your daily life, of course, you will have to strain to show yourself. But the role of “shirt-guy” is unlikely to suit you.
It will take your interlocutor less than a minute to get a lasting impression of you, which is then very difficult to change.
It is formed from what your interlocutor sees and hears, and from what you think can be hidden – your thoughts and feelings. Therefore, put them in order: a friendly smile will not hide panic fear or negative expectations. Be positive and benevolent even in your thoughts. After all, as they say, if you walk through the world with a hammer, you will see nails everywhere.
It is unlikely that something more unfortunate for you can happen from the very beginning than being late. But you shouldn’t arrive too early either. It is enough to be there 5-10 minutes before the meeting.
Find out about the dress code in the company. Consider the specifics of clothing in your professional environment. A strict classic business suit will be the best choice for financial institutions or large corporations. It is easier to join the youth team of an advertising company in clothes that show that you are aware of fashion trends. Shoes, accessories, hairstyle, cosmetics and manicure should be discreet and neat.
The handshake has more impact on the outcome of the interview than you might think. The chances of a positive hiring decision are increased by a firm handshake from the applicant, especially for women if such a greeting seems appropriate to you.
The interlocutor’s hand does not need to be shaken, stroked or held for too long. The optimal duration of a handshake is 3-4 seconds. The palm should be dry and warm. The handshake is done with the whole palm, not just the fingers. Usually the hand is extended first by the “senior in rank”, in this case the personnel manager, or by a woman to a man.
If the interview is conducted not by one person, but by several, then it is important to maintain eye contact with each of the interlocutors, starting with the one who asked the question. No need to look too closely and “drill” your eyes. It’s only natural to look away while you’re contemplating an answer.
Let your hands support you as you speak. Make sure that they are in open positions, except for quite natural relaxed and soft “locks” when you are listening carefully to the interlocutor.
Do not hold on to a table, chair, or knees. And even if you are very nervous, avoid closed poses with your arms crossed on your chest.
You will inspire much more confidence if the interlocutor can see your hands, so do not hide them. An actively gesticulating person will seem more attractive to the interviewer. But do not forget about point number 1: excessive and unnatural flickering of hands can be annoying. Everything is good in moderation.
Despite the desirable liveliness of the hands, you need to sit firmly on the chair, and not on the edge, but on the entire chair. He is yours! And your feet should not be torn off the floor unnecessarily. Don’t cross them under a chair, don’t tuck them under you, and don’t swing them with one leg. Better put both feet on the floor. You can cross your legs, especially if your interlocutor is sitting that way.
Keep a calm expression on your face and occasionally smile appropriately, showing self-confidence, positive attitude and goodwill.
Speak loudly enough and at a calm pace. This will give the impression that you are confident, even if in fact you are worried.
If you did everything right, keep a good impression of yourself at the final stage of the interview. Shake hands with your interlocutor again, look into his eyes and say goodbye with a confident “goodbye”, putting it in a literal meaning.
Even if not everything went perfectly, smile like a winner and leave the room with a confident gait. Relaxing, shaking from the stress experienced, or even screaming and swearing is possible only after you have moved a sufficient distance, and no one can see you for sure.
By following these guidelines, you will leave a good impression of yourself. And if you want to not only confidently conduct a personal conversation, but also be able to speak to the public, take Elena Lymar’s course “How to prepare for public speaking”: it is necessary for all specialists who speak at meetings, meetings or conferences.