Men baby showers: Eight ways to plan a men-friendly baby shower

Опубликовано: February 27, 2023 в 5:33 am

Автор: alexxlab

Категории: Baby

Eight ways to plan a men-friendly baby shower

1. Keep it low-key

Mixed baby showers tend to be more like a small family party. Often there’s less emphasis on games, and less of the frilly stuff you see at girls-only parties.

For many guests it’s a chance to catch up with other family members or friends, and frequently the food becomes the main event.

2. Invite enough men

Make sure plenty of men will be there in addition to the dad-to-be. Ideally, you’re aiming for half and half.

So encourage female friends to bring their partners. Invite male colleagues and your partner’s male friends and relatives.

3. Craft your invitations

Make the invitations appealing to both sexes. It’s probably not a good idea to call your party a Jack and Jill baby shower. And when you’re decorating, use a range of colours and motifs.

A popular theme for a mixed baby shower is called a BaByQ (as in a BBQ for a baby!). This sets a casual tone and is inviting for all your friends and family.

4. Give the dad-to-be a say in shopping

If they haven’t already, invite mum-to-be and dad-to-be to register for baby gifts at their favourite shop. This usually entails an appointment in the shop to look around before setting up a nursery list. The couple chooses what they want to put on their list, which guests then browse online before selecting an item to buy as a present.

If the parents-to-be don’t want to register with a store you could invite them for a cup of tea and help them make a list you can pass on to friends.

5. Get the goody bags right

If you plan to give out goody bags, be aware that some men may not find pastel-coloured sweets in a baby bottle or scented mini-soaps that appealing. Juggling balls and chocolate bars or might be a safer bet to appeal to everyone.

6. Make the games fun for everyone

If you decide to have games, choose ones that the dad-to-be and his friends will enjoy. One idea is to fill baby bottles with water, milk, juice and beer, screw-on teats, line the guests up and shout “Go!” The first person to down his or her drink without unscrewing the top wins.

Or buy a pinata and fill it with goodies such as sweets, gum and keyrings. Then let everyone have fun breaking it open and scrabbling for the contents.

Another idea is to divide guests into two teams for a nappy-changing relay race. Give each team a doll and have a table with nappies, wipes and cream. Members of each team take it in turns to run to the table and change the doll’s nappy. The first team where everyone has managed to change the nappy wins.

7. Include the dad-to-be on the day

Make sure the couple opens gifts together or takes turns when it’s time to open gifts. If you’re organising games, make sure the dad-to-be is included.

8. Get the food right

Bring on the food! Alongside the vanilla cupcakes and chocolate-dipped strawberries, offer spicy chicken wings, cocktail sausages, mini-burgers and potato wedges.

If your party includes lunch or dinner, the BBQ is a great place for people to gather and push a few sausages around. It makes catering easy and is a great way to involve others in the catering.

Check out BabyCenter parents’ tips for throwing a baby shower with a twist.

Do Men Go To Baby Showers

The answer to the taboo of “Do men go to baby showers?” in 2022 with all the traditional and modern views, Do’s and Don’ts

Table of Contents

Introduction:
- Are baby showers just for ladies?
- Why are men not allowed traditionally on baby showers?
- Who is invited to a baby shower?
Best shower ideas and themes for a joint shower
- What do men do at baby showers?
Conclusion:

Introduction:

A baby shower is one of the most important events for a pregnant mother. It is held to celebrate the special time of her life. But usually, men are not invited to Are you also planning a baby shower and confused that do fathers attend baby showers or not? Let’s have a look at our deep research on this taboo and make your decision!

Previously, baby showers used to be women-oriented only. Traditionally in parenting, men played the role of the breadwinners, and women were responsible for raisings kids. This party is to make her happy, relaxed, and prepared for the upcoming baby. So the key choice is of the expectant mother that whether men should be welcome in the baby shower ceremony or not. But in the modern 21^st century, with a lot of other evolving rituals and trends, now dads do attend baby showers.

As they play an equal role in the upbringing of their kids, so why should women have all the fun? Men at baby showers are not considered taboo anymore. People have moved on from the strict gender roles and they go hand in hand with their partner for the chores and responsibilities. Either the responsibilities are related to finances, parenting, or home chores, the couple faces and fulfills them together. When men are involved throughout the pregnancy and birthing process, they also want to participate in the baby showers. They also want to enjoy the big day with their other half and are ready to enter parenthood together.

So let’s have the general ideas and views about men going to the baby showers and what they can do there.

Are baby showers just for ladies?

The baby shower is mostly celebrated in the last month of pregnancy. Usually, the friends of pregnant women throw the baby shower party in the seventh month or ninth month.

According to the traditional ideology, the guest list consisted of females only. Traditional baby showers were considered a women-oriented event so men shouldn’t attend them. As you know for the baby shower, this event is organized for the pregnant mother, to make her prepare for the upcoming roller coaster life. All the close friends and family of the mommy-to-be get together to celebrate and have fun. The expert mom can advise the mom-to-be with their opinions, do’s and don’ts.

However, as mindsets have been changing with time, more people are planning their co-ed baby showers. As they want to celebrate and welcome their baby together.

Why are men not allowed traditionally on baby showers?

In modern baby showers, people are more inclined towards Co-ed parties. Although modern couples like to celebrate baby shower ceremonies together, the views about men not being allowed to such parties also have their reasons. Some of

Roller coaster month of pregnancy

The whole period of pregnancy is physically, mentally, and emotionally a turmoil for the women. They feel stressed by going through so many physical and hormonal changes. Therefore, this party is a way to relieve their stress with the discussion of details of pregnancy, playing silly games, and showering the mother with gifts. Some women feel liberated and have more fun when they are partying alone. They can talk about all the naughty and silly stuff with their beloved women.

Pregnancy and childbirth discussions

Other than guessing the baby gender and fun games, they also discuss intimate details of the actual birth process and the nits and grits of life after that. They can discuss their private problems and their solutions regarding this matter. According to the old school thought, these discussions were thought to be not suitable in front of the guys that why some people are perplexed that do guys go to baby showers or not.

Who is invited to a baby shower?

Do guys attend baby showers? Yes! They sure can. Why should the dads be deprived of all the fun and happiness when they are entering the parenting phase of their life? Couples from the modern generation like to celebrate their milestones together. The barrier between the men and women has been minimized and they feel comfortable and enjoy each other’s company.

Just like other things, it also depends on your personal choice. You can either have your circle of friends or close family and cousins. You can also invite your single friends to celebrate your day. Even the guy friends from work can also be invited if you are comfortable with your baby discussions around. The attendance at baby showers should be the one to make it a moment for couples.

Best shower ideas and themes for a joint shower

If the answer to “Does the father go to the baby shower?” is a big YES for you, then you might be confused about the theme of the party. Well, it doesn’t make much difference if there are men at the party or not. Still, you can opt for gender-neutral themes and gift ideas. In addition, some out-of-the-box ideas would make the event interesting like mini drinks or personalized mugs that will let them feel a part of the event.

Even separate parties for dads are also thrown named as “Dadchelor party” or “Diaper party” where they can have fun before becoming a dad. Other dads can also bless them with their precious pieces of advice and expert suggestions. They will feel ready than before for fatherhood with these practiced suggestions.

Also Read: Best Baby Shower Gifts for Twins – Our Top Picks

What do men do at baby showers?

The million-dollar question is that what will a husband at baby shower will do actually. Well, if you like to go for a co-ed baby shower, then you should plan the event to engage them in their way. There are a lot of planned activities and fun games that they can play to make the event memorable. Be creative and design your event in a way to make and fun and memorable. Here we have some ideas that can add excitement to your baby shower and keep the guys engaged and involved.

1. Games

Different games related to the parents and babies can be played in a co-ed shower. Interesting games with creative ideas according to life with babies and before would be a blast for everyone.

Like the Diaper party game where the guys can compete to quickly change the diaper of toy babies in a given time. Alternatively, the stroller race is another fun idea where all the guys can run along with strollers or drag chairs as a makeshift stroller. Sounds exciting, right?

These physical baby shower games will not only be fun but will make the hosts and the guests entertained with a good laugh.

2. Good Food

Who doesn’t enjoy good food, anyway? Everybody, especially men do enjoy yummy food so don’t forget to add their favorite items to the menu. They can have a good time while munching on their favorite snacks and drinks. Meanwhile, you can have a chit-chat and discuss all those unmentioned stuff that can’t talk about in front of the guys.

3. Basic Manners and etiquettes

If you have decided to hold a coed shower, then you should also watch out for some basic etiquettes to follow. You have to be careful to discuss the deep details of childbirth especially if you or the invited guys are not comfortable with it.

To avoid any embarrassing moment, you can design the baby shower ceremony in a way where the pregnant women can have some time to discuss the gory details with her friends and benefit from other mom’s experiences while the men are busy doing some other activity.

Another baby shower etiquette for your party is if you have invited any older persons like your father, then you must be really mindful of not having open discussions of pregnancy in front of them. As older men are generally more traditional to talk about childbirth and pregnancy in front of women.

Conclusion:

So now you must have a clear idea that Do dads go to baby showers or not. Although it is a personal choice, parents shouldn’t be bound to opt for a certain option. In my opinion, if men take equal responsibility in life so they should be equally involved in all the fun activities related to their life and baby if they want. You can design the co-ed shower in a way where the couple can have fun together with their friends and family but also leave some spare time for the expectant mother to have her private discussions and concerns with the ladies.

The natural progression towards coed showers is also a signal towards the equality of rights. Moreover, the closer

I hope that all your queries are answered regarding men invited to baby showers. Hope that you like the article. Keep sharing and enjoy your day.

What are childhood “traumas” and how to recognize them in adulthood

When a parent limits a child in contact with others and controls his social circle, the child may feel lonely, isolated from the outside world. Under such conditions, socialization and the development of independence are impossible. With verbal aggression and threats (for example, “I will refuse you”), the child will cease to trust the world and begin to perceive everything as hostile.

If parents themselves grew up in violence, then these destructive patterns can automatically be transferred to their attitude towards children. Therefore, it is first of all important to recognize and correct your own experience.

We are made up of the behavior patterns of our parents.

“Sexual abuse is not only a sexual act, but also a neglectful attitude of parents towards a child’s sexuality,” explains Veronica. This can lead to rejection of one’s body, cause repeated violence (a person can either commit it himself or again find himself in the role of a victim). “If the child’s physical and psychological boundaries are violated, this affects his entire adult life, and the negative experience will be repeated again and again,” says Irina.

Why do we not remember some traumatic childhood events?

“When a person is traumatized in childhood, he represses it later in life. Thus, the psyche is protected, blocks painful information, ”explains Irina Mansurova. But even without remembering the causes of the injury, an adult will still feel its consequences – depression, guilt, etc. “The child also needs to somehow adapt, and one of the ways to do this is to dissociate the situation. For example, a child lives with parents who are addicted to alcohol. He has nowhere else to live – what will he do? Dissociate and anesthetize the affected part of the soul. It will block some memories, thoughts and images, as this reduces pain sensitivity. Subsequently, such people do not get hurt: they do not feel anything at all. The child gets used not to hear, not to feel and not to see: dissociation allows him to survive, and the psyche will use various methods so as not to collapse, ”says Veronika Doringer.

Repression

Often a severely traumatized person represses some or all of their past. He simply cannot remember events from his childhood, sometimes only some strongly emotionally charged events come up in his memory.

Loss of trust in the world

Avoidance of any trusting relationship. The logic of this choice is simple: “If there is no relationship, then I can avoid pain.” Such a person eschews even friendship because of the anxiety that he will be betrayed, therefore he deliberately avoids intimacy, which over time can lead to loneliness and depression. Any harbinger of emotional intimacy that can cause psychic pain will be blocked.

Tendency to toxic relationships

People who were severely traumatized as children often enter into destructive relationships as adults. Their partners may be emotionally unavailable, married, violent, or have a narcissistic personality disorder. After ending one toxic relationship, a person will be drawn into others, attracting such partners over and over again. To get out of the vicious circle will help work through the trauma with a psychotherapist.

Difficulties with perception of other people’s emotions

A person cannot recognize the true emotions and feelings of another person, because he projects his thoughts and feelings onto him.

How to start working with childhood trauma?

“When people with traumatic experiences raise their children, they are brought back to their traumas. They remember how their parents acted in any situations and do not understand their actions,” explains Veronica. Experiencing once again a painful experience, it is difficult to be emotionally included. Therefore, it is important that the parent first learns to help himself. Working through trauma is a long-term process that requires precision and subtlety. One of the best ways is Gestalt therapy. No short-term approaches, webinars and courses will help get rid of psychological trauma: a couple of meetings will not be able to heal, on the contrary, you can aggravate the situation. This should be done by a qualified psychotherapist.

It’s never too late to start working on yourself if you feel you need help. You should not go to a specialist, even if you had a traumatic experience as a child, but nothing bothers you as an adult, which means that your psyche has coped with it. It often happens that people who talk about having childhood trauma actually don’t have it. A person with such an experience will not talk about it, and sometimes he does not even understand that something happened in his childhood that left an imprint in his mind.

It doesn’t matter how old a person with an unresolved trauma is, it will recur at any age. In stress, we become children: scared, alone, out of control. Remember that a broken baby soul tends to pass this story on to the next generation.

Photo: Getty Images

How they become dads or the psychology of fatherhood

The development of a child, his perception of himself, that is, how he treats himself, the success that he achieves, largely depends on how he is treated parents – mother and father, how they communicate with him. Deficiency, lack of any of the communication models leads to difficulties in relation to the world around and oneself, and distortions in perception.

The two main components of parenthood are motherhood and fatherhood . Unfortunately, very often fatherhood is perceived not as something unique, unlike anything else, but as just an addition to motherhood.

Paternity – is not just a blood relationship between a father and his child . Fatherhood is also defined as an innate feeling that prompts a man to act in relation to a child (or his children) with sympathetic responsibility , i.e. fatherhood is the ability to ensure the conditions for the development of a child , and not only from a material point of view. But fatherhood also provides unique opportunities for the manifestation of the personality of the man himself.

The main thing in the formation of a sense of fatherhood for a man – the future father – is awareness of changes in the image of “I”, awareness of oneself as a father . The main goal of the ongoing psychological restructuring is to provide a man, a husband with the most favorable conditions for the development and birth of a new person, for maintaining the mental and physical health of his wife. These changes include a serious reassessment of one’s own values for a man, setting new priorities in life. He has many new responsibilities and functions, changes in relations with his wife (after all, she becomes the mother of his children), new feelings and emotions that he has not experienced before, and even the vocabulary expands (at least for the terminology associated with pregnancy and newborn care).

That is, fatherhood is a completely new level on his life path, a new round in the development of the personality of a man .

But a new step in life is always a test. Fatherhood is only possible due to the fact that a man refuses many of the already stereotypical patterns of behavior with others and attitudes towards himself. The feeling of fatherhood is often accompanied by a change in lifestyle to one that is more consistent with the role and title of the father and contributes to getting used to this role for the first time (before assigning this title), which can cause crisis conditions.

How is “paternity” formed in the soul of a man? Of course, a lot depends on cultural and family traditions, but the personal history of a man, the history of his own relationship with his father, also plays a no less important role. Whom is the future father going to raise: his own child or himself, the way he was in childhood? To what extent will a man be able to realize that his child is not himself, to realize the great responsibility that falls on him?

The paternal attitude is laid down long before the birth of a child in a man and is determined by childhood impressions, affirmation of oneself as a man in adolescence, it is also influenced by erotic relationships of later years. The attitude towards the child is “predetermined” much earlier than the future father thinks about having a baby. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that those men who lived a happy childhood, who had a loving, caring, understanding father, want to have children more often than those who did not have such a childhood.

An important moment in the beginning of psychological adaptation to the father’s role, the beginning of the formation of the self-concept of the father, is the moment when a man finds out that his wife (or another girlfriend) is pregnant. What kind of storm in the soul of the future father did the news of the pregnancy produce: delight, joy, grief, or did it leave him calm and indifferent? And this largely depends on how the relationship of a man with his father developed.

The birth of a child should be separately identified as a kind of test in a man’s life. This is the moment when both the Mother and the Father are born (maybe that is why men who are not present at the birth of their own child often dump unspent energy with the help of alcohol). A very important factor is the presence of a man during childbirth, unless, of course, he feels an inner readiness for this (after all, his task from prehistoric times is to protect his woman if she herself cannot do this). In addition to helping to prevent adverse events during childbirth, the first cry of a child has the most tangible effect on the inclusion of not only maternal, but also paternal instinct. Fathers who witness the birth of their child, as well as their wives, experience deep feelings during childbirth and they form a strong attachment to children. American research 50 years ago showed that if a father is present at the birth of his baby, then they establish a special contact and their own unique relationship. Such a father is more involved in the life of the mother and child, without shifting all responsibility to the woman, he can take care of the child, play with him on an equal basis with the mother. He does not need to wait for the child to start talking or playing chess in order to start communicating with him. It is the establishment of relations with the child, the process of caring for him in the first months of life that determines the final stage of the birth of the Father.

There are three stages in the formation of the paternal sphere :

1) a stereotyped idea of fatherhood before the wife’s pregnancy;

2) rethinking stereotypes during pregnancy;

3) the actual formation of a sense of fatherhood after the birth of a child.

Let’s try to look into the family where the child was born. What is the father doing? What is mom doing? Traditionally, the roles of husband and father have been the same for many generations. In recent decades, some confusion has arisen. Modern man is faced with numerous confusion of concepts. He is required to be both strong and soft at the same time. He must work hard, but at the same time put up with the work of his wife. In addition to all that a man traditionally should be able to do and do, in our time it is assumed that he should also be able to change diapers, feed a child, and much more. For many men, it is not entirely clear what their role of husband and father is, and it is not easy for them to play the former role of the breadwinner of the family, also fulfilling maternal responsibilities. However, all this is required of a modern man, and therefore the education of future men and fathers should be based on this. For the sake of justice, it should be noted that some current fathers in caring for a child have become such excellent specialists that they can compete with the most skilled mother.

Unfortunately, adaptation to fatherhood in many personally immature men, not yet begun, immediately ends with the news of pregnancy. The future father can leave, shifting all the problems that arise in connection with the appearance of the child to the future mother, not caring what will happen to his family next. If, due to his beliefs or situation, he cannot leave his family, his dissatisfaction with the appearance of a child can manifest itself in an indifferent attitude towards him, and in the worst case, in harsh authoritarian behavior patterns, a manifestation of violence towards his child.

All this – the history of relationships with one’s father, the model of fatherhood of one’s own father, cultural, social and family characteristics, physical and mental health – influence men’s readiness for fatherhood . Egocentrism, infantilism, sexual promiscuity of a man shows his inability to manifest a paternal attitude.

But every man should think about the fact that the opportunity to become a father will allow him to fully realize not only male, but also personal potential . A man directly gives life to a new person and gets a unique opportunity to take care of him, love him, transfer his life experience to him. It is in fatherhood that a man satisfies many of his vital needs. Becoming a Father, a man gets the opportunity to creatively transform himself and the surrounding reality.

For many men, the period of pregnancy of the spouse, the expectation of the birth and, finally, the birth of a child itself can greatly influence the formation of their male maturity. Men seeking to try on a new role as a father have an increased sense of self-esteem, they0019 through the child realize and confirm their male viability . As a result, a man acquires a new personal and social status. He develops a tribal consciousness , a sense of responsibility for his family.

But during this period, men may actualize psychological problems, personal conflicts, in particular, related to their own experience of negative relationships with their father. That is why it is safe to talk about “pregnant dads”. Yes, they also, in their own way, in a manly way, “bear” a child, they take care of their wife, create the best conditions for her, solve the financial problems of the family, help in caring for the baby after his birth, build their own unique relationship with the child , but also remain face to face with their own intrapersonal conflicts. And no one pays attention to them, no one cares, but on the contrary, it requires care and attention from them.

And if most women feel like mothers for the first time during pregnancy, then most men feel like mothers after the birth of a baby, with whom a man does not have such a connection in the prenatal period as a woman. That is why it is so important for the future father to talk to the child before birth. The child hears his gentle voice and perceives it almost better than the voice of the mother. Yes, of course, a woman is more involved in communication with a child before birth and in the first months after childbirth. For her, pregnancy is a period of preparation for communication with the child after his birth, and this preparation takes place through direct physiological changes in the woman’s body, changes in her values and priorities during pregnancy, because her whole life is aimed at the well-being and development of the baby in her womb. Thus, maternal feeling, attachment to the child is formed during pregnancy, including through a new bodily experience. And in the father, the formation of attachment to the unborn baby is not associated with new bodily sensations. The period of the wife’s pregnancy changes the self-consciousness of the man and results in his acceptance of a new social role.

Psychoanalysts believe that during pregnancy, there are also changes in the emotional sphere of a woman. These changes are manifested in such defensive reactions as: regression, repression, infantilism. These are temporary changes, a protective mechanism that allows you to prepare for such a complex and responsible event as childbirth.