Baby slobbering a lot: Baby Drooling? 5 Revealing Things About Your (Adorable) Drooling Monster

If possible, protect your child from stressful situations and excessive tension. It is clear that it is impossible to exclude all negative events from life and avoid unrest. However, try for some time, while weaning the child from the habit, not to go anywhere, keep a stable daily routine, monitor his workload, meet new people infrequently so that he has a minimum of additional stress during this period.

If it turns out that the child is afraid of something, deal with his fears . This can be done both at a consultation with a psychologist and at home using art therapy methods.

It is important to accept the child’s feelings so that he later learns to be aware of his own emotions, to express them in words, and not to accumulate inside. You can set an example of constructive behavior by talking about the feelings that you and your child have during conflict situations. At the same time, it is important to calmly withstand his negative feelings, showing that he has the right to them. In this way, emotional intelligence will develop, which is an important component of the health and success of the child in the future.

Improve family relationships , create an atmosphere of warmth and psychological safety at home. If you notice that there are a lot of conflicts in your family, try to figure out what causes them, how you yourself feel, and what you personally can do to correct the situation. This will not only help you deal with your child’s negative habit, but it will also bring many other positive changes into your life.

Read also

People’s opinion: What are the bad habits of today’s children?

How to help your child acquire good habits

If you can’t cope with a child’s bad habit on your own for a long time, you can come to a face-to-face consultation with a psychologist .

In any case, special attention should be paid to the state of the child and his inner world. Spend as much time together as possible, show love more often. This will make it easier for your child to let go of the unwanted behavior, as he will feel that you love him even when you don’t approve of his behavior. Your love and unconditional acceptance will help him cope with a bad habit.

Anastasia Vyalykh

Is your child anxious?

High personal anxiety can significantly impede the child’s learning activities and social contacts. Take the test created by the specialists of the portal I am a parent and assess the level of anxiety of your child.

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Safe School – How to choose safe stationery

Physical security

In the manufacture of paints, plasticine, felt-tip pens, etc. a large number of dyes, solvents, stabilizers, plasticizers, polymeric materials are used that are capable of releasing ingredients in finished products that are dangerous to human health, and especially to a child.

Among the substances most often found in the study of stationery, the following should be noted: phenol, formaldehyde, acetaldehyde, styrene, benzene, toluene, acetone, vinyl chloride, methanol, cadmium, lead, arsenic, chromium, antimony.

The strength and nature of the effect of a chemical on a child’s body is determined by the amount of the substance that enters the body. Therefore, the choice of stationery must be taken seriously: you need to remember a few simple tips.

How to choose plasticine?

If the plasticine is of a very bright, poisonous color, it means that there is a lot of paint in it, which means more stabilizers, which include phenol.

Plasticine should not stain hands and surrounding objects. If greasy traces are visible on the cardboard packaging, this is evidence of the poor quality of the feedstock.

Plasticine should be moderately soft to the touch, but not smeared or melted in the hands. Too soft material does not train children’s fingers at all, and working with hard material disrupts some processes in the nervous system that has not yet formed.

If the plasticine crumbles, it contains too much lime powder. Good quality plasticine has a uniform consistency without foreign inclusions. Plasticine should gradually, heating up in the hands, become plastic.

Plasticine must be plant-based and neutral in odour. The specific smell of gasoline or rubber indicates the presence of some allergens in the plasticine.

How to choose pencils?

Pencils of very bright colors should not be purchased as they may be toxic. These pigments may contain salts of heavy metals. Even a very soft rod (4M – 5M) should not crumble. The opposite is a sign of low graphite content and high concentration of coloring additives. Most of these substances are unsafe for health. After all, a child often slobbers a pencil while drawing.

On the body of the pencil, the seam from gluing the wood should not be visible. For children under 3 years old, it is better to give trihedral pencils. They are better for developing fine motor skills of children.

Do not buy lacquered or inked pencils that have an odor. Such paints are toxic, they peel off, and pieces can easily get on the hands and mouth of the child.

To protect your child from contact with heavy metals, read the packaging carefully. It should have the letters C Є on it, which indicates that the pencils meet the European quality standard and have passed all safety tests. The presence of the DIN EN 71 mark on the packaging also indicates compliance with EU standards in the production of goods, as well as the absence of heavy metals in its composition.
It is very important that the packaging of the pencils has the information that they are intended for young children.

How to choose an eraser?

The presence of too bright colors and aromas of the eraser indicates the content of a large number of chemically hazardous dyes and flavors. It is better to buy a soft, odorless rubber eraser.

How to choose markers?

When buying felt-tip pens, pay attention to the expiration date. The marker is a perishable commodity. Expired especially it is not recommended to give the child.

The pen must be water-based. These markers are safe. As a rule, manufacturers indicate this with the marks “water-based ink” or the inscription “water based”. They fade faster on paper, but are not toxic. The alcohol base has a very strong smell. Check that the traces of felt-tip pens are well washed off. Try to draw something on your own hand and erase it with ordinary saliva. The most caustic specimens are alcohol-based.

The stylus must be made of felt or lavsan. On the packages of high-quality felt-tip pens produced by well-known companies, the material of manufacture must be indicated. If the tip of the felt-tip pen is fluffy, this indicates that it is soft and the felt-tip pen will not last long.
The body must be made of polypropylene or polystyrene. This should be indicated on the packaging. You can recognize polypropylene by marking “PP” or the number “5” in a triangle of arrows. If not found, try bending the felt-tip pen, polypropylene is a very elastic material.

Do not let your children put markers in their mouths, especially those with a plastic body. When such material is wetted by human saliva, a chemical reaction occurs. Toxins dangerous to humans are released, which enter the mucous membrane of the oral cavity. Under their influence, the child eventually feels weak, dizzy. Imperceptibly poisoning the body, these substances can cause some disruption of the central nervous system.

The packaging of felt-tip pens should contain information about age markings – it is best to take those approved for use from 6 months (you can draw with your fingers like this) and draw them with brushes, like gouache. Wash your child’s hands thoroughly immediately after contact with paint to prevent paint residue from being absorbed into the skin.

How to choose colors?

Watercolor paints are not as dangerous as oil paints because they do not contain organic solvents. Paint pigments are dangerous when swallowed. Unlike oil paints, they can be used by children. And all these pigments irritate the skin. Many of them are carcinogens. Oil paints for children are generally not recommended.

Often gouaches, watercolors contain phenol. Therefore, before buying, you need to smell the paint. They should not emit any odor.
Children under the age of twelve are particularly susceptible to exposure to toxic substances. Therefore, you need to use paints only for their intended purpose. For finger painting, special safe paints are used.

Conclusion

To sum up all of the above, first of all, you need to pay attention to the following points:

Appearance. All products are painted. The paint should not be contained on the surface, but should be evenly distributed inside the entire product, and in contact with moisture should not leave marks on the skin of the child.

Smell. Purchased accessories should not smell. If any specific smell comes from them, then chemicals are released from them, which in the future can have a negative impact on the health of the child.

Expiry date. The expiration date of the accessories must be marked on each package. The numbers must be clear, not blurry
Age restrictions. All accessories must be suitable for small children.

Certificate of Quality. Ideally, every product sold should be accompanied by a quality certificate confirming its safety.
The choice of school supplies for children should be approached quite seriously. If you carefully inspect the products when buying, then the child can be protected from many health problems in the future. The health of our children is in our hands!

References:

1. www. aif.ru Daria Buravchikova AiF No. 9 “What were they blinded from? The amount of mold in plasticine is 50 times higher”;
2. http://www.kp.kgwww.1september.ru “What do paints smell like” Svetlana Markelova www.kp.kg.
3. “Plasticine is a joy for a baby. But poor quality is disgusting”;
4. www.zdorovja.com.ua “School supplies cause allergies”;
5. www.mishka.by “How to choose safe school supplies”;
6. www.adalin.mospsy.ru “First Grader Outfit” Yu.A. Yakovlev;
7. www/site-for-cool-girlss.narod.ru “When people invented pencils”;
8. www.1tv.ru. TV project “Good morning”

Safe stationery

Chemical Safety

12 Symptoms of a Stressed Child | Chalk

Does your child find no place for himself, is he bored with all the games? This may be a one-time story, a bad mood, or it may indicate that something worries him greatly. Teacher Victoria Kuznetsova talks about what symptoms may indicate to parents about problems in relationships with children.

I will collect in this post all the signs that distinguish a tense, or, as psychologists say, anxious child who has problems in relationships with a parent, or more precisely, a parent has problems in relationships with a child.

In 20 years of practice, probably more than one hundred children have passed through me. And the experience lived with my three made it possible to accurately identify anxious children, and, accordingly, anxious parents. Sometimes even just a cursory glance is enough to find out in what environment and in what state the child is most of the time.

Why is this important? Because we all expect high results in education and have high hopes for our children. Sometimes they are so big that children are not even able to move what they have been assigned. So it turns out that we are indignant, indignant, stomp our feet, read lectures, do our best to educate, take away the Internet and telephone, forbid us to communicate with unwanted friends, limit walks and watch cartoons, and things are still there.

The root of the problem must be looked for in a completely different place. I suggest that you carefully watch your children for the following symptoms that indicate that something has gone wrong.

1. Heavy Face Syndrome

Observe the predominant expression on your child’s face at different times: when you address him, ask questions, when he is busy with something or, conversely, as you think, is in idle inactivity. What is his face? What does it express? Joy, peace? Are the facial features bright, as if straightened, are the muscles of the face relaxed, or vice versa? Anxious children often have frowned eyebrows, compressed lips, and look expresses anxiety. The expression on his face is reminiscent of a little old man who has seen everything.

2. Bent, dejected posture

Back with a “yoke”, shoulders raised, or even at different levels, as if twisted, head pulled into the shoulders, chin down, hands clasped together (behind the back or in front) or hidden in pockets . At the request to take his hands out of his pockets, the child presses them tightly to the body “at the seams”.

3. Special gait

Cautious, timid, with small steps, or even sideways. Lack of assistance in walking with hands. The toes of the boots often point inward. A relaxed child moderately sweepingly helps the body when walking with his hands.

4. Specificity of movements

Movements are uneven, sometimes slow, sometimes jerky. From time to time, the child shudders, makes many unnecessary obsessive movements: fidgets in a chair, pulls at the edges of clothes, buttons, ears, nose, notebooks, books, bites his nails, pens, pencils, winds his hair around his finger (pencil, pen), itches, rubs chin, cheeks, forehead with palms, constantly licks lips. It also happens: when answering a question, a child jumps up and grabs furniture. In general, all general behavior causes anxiety and anxiety.

5. Nervous tics

Twitching of the chin, blinking of the eyes, twisting of the muscles of the face (it seems that the child is mimicking you), inappropriate and regular turns and nods of the head.

6. Speech

May be slow, short, short monosyllabic phrases. There is no figurativeness, emotionality. Other characteristics are also possible. The speech is too loud, noisy. A calm heart-to-heart conversation is impossible in both cases, it lacks smoothness and logic. The child does not share anything, does not talk about anything. At the first opportunity, he tries to leave, to run away from the conversation.

7. Orientation in space

Anxious children tend to retire, hide, not be seen when moving around in the room. They move closer to the wall, hide in a corner, behind pieces of furniture, and so on. You ask to sit down – they sit on the edge of a chair, sofa, armchair, as if squeezing into a ball: knees together, palms can be sandwiched between the knees or on them. The back is “yoke”, the head is pulled in, the look is from under the brows, the shoulders are raised, the toes of the legs are turned towards each other. There is also another extreme. The child is too loose. Falling apart on a chair, pounding the furniture with his feet, not knowing where to put his hands. When walking, he kicks furniture, walls, objects that fall under his feet.

8. Distracted attention

Sometimes it seems that the child does not hear you at all. It is as if he turns off from the conversation, falls into oblivion or is deeply immersed in his own thoughts. A heart-to-heart talk, dialogue fails again, it becomes like an interrogation with passion.

9. Peculiarities of behavior

Ranges from “quieter than water, lower than the grass”, when the child is not seen or heard (he does not mind, does everything that is asked, “comfortable” silent) to extremely defiant. The child is impudent, rude, as if on purpose provokes a conflict, spoils things, everything burns in his hands. Fussy, clutching at one thing or another, unable to concentrate. Not a single thing can be completed. Illogical, inconsistent in actions.

10.

Constantly needs attention and response from adults

One girl in my class constantly shouted “Look!” loudly when she picked up a new object or changed location in the classroom. This type needs constant support and approval: “Did I succeed? You like? Did I do well?”

11. Contacts with other children

Cautious, fearful or, on the contrary, aggressive attitude, high touchiness, conflict. The child is in defense mode all the time. It seems to him that he is ignored, constantly offended, his opinion is not taken into account, he is not taken into the game.

12. Activities

What is your child’s main occupation? A relaxed child dances a lot, sings, fantasizes endlessly, plays out some imaginary situations, occasionally talks to himself, sculpts, draws, invents something, improvises all the time. An anxious child cannot find something to his taste, and when he finds it, he quickly cools down, quits, complains of boredom. He is indifferent to creative work, says that it is uninteresting, boring, “only for girls” or “for little ones”.

Naturally, all symptoms cannot occur in one child. If so, then the situation is generally a stalemate. Therefore, here is a list of symptoms that, even if encountered only once, should alert you and make you think. Perhaps you should reconsider some of your educational positions.

I would like to especially note that all of the above is not at all a direct consequence of the fact that the child in the family is punished with physical force through pain. As one remarkable person said: “With a word you can kill, with a word you can save.” Sometimes what comes out of our mouths in the address of a child is no less destructive than a slap.

Child development at 3 months: what a baby should be able to do

Kizino Polina Aleksandrovna

pediatrician, perinatal psychologist

Body weight and length are intuitive indicators that reflect the physical condition of young children. But at three months, the difference in these indicators in boys and girls is almost imperceptible.

Physical development:

• Average weight gain – 700-800 g, height gain – 2.5-3 cm.
• Subcutaneous fat builds up, the body is rounded: cheeks, folds on the arms and legs are clearly visible.
• Movements become more varied, more complex, muscles become stronger, muscle stiffness and excessive stiffness (hypertonicity) begin to subside.

Motor skills of a child at 3 months:

• Leaning on his forearms, he raises his head, holds it well in an upright position and, lying on his stomach, turns 180 degrees. However, it can get tired and “throw” its head..
• Can turn on its side, and some children can turn from back to stomach and vice versa..
• Learns to coordinate movements with his hands, randomness is replaced by purposeful actions: he sees a toy and reaches for it, tries to grab and hold, puts his hands in his mouth, salivates his fists.

Psychomotor development of a child at 3 months:

• Shows interest in everything that surrounds him: watches toys, recognizes a feeding bottle, can switch from one object to another, quickly turn his head to the sound.
• Learns to distinguish intonation, hums for a long time not only with vowels, but also with consonants.
• Cries loudly when dissatisfied with something.
• Studying the situation in the room, likes to travel around the house in parental arms.
• Begins to become active, smile at the appearance and voice of the mother or another close person.

The manifestation of the revival complex, that is, a concentrated and prolonged look at an adult with a smile and increased motor activity of the limbs and head, as well as infant joyful exclamations, is considered an important indicator of children’s health and development.

But through crying and crying, infants express their dissatisfaction and talk about discomfort. Allocate crying and screaming with hunger, with bloating, colic and other pains, at the onset of illness, with a feeling of loneliness. A child who is healthy, well-fed, dressed in dry and comfortable clothes, never screams for a long time.

• At the age of 10-12 weeks begins to show displeasure through whimpering – rather intermittent, without pronounced excitement and fidgeting.
• At the age of 12-13 weeks, cry-cry indicates a completely conscious request. By its intensity, the mother can determine the condition of her baby.

How much a child should sleep at 3 months:

• The total sleep time is 14-17 hours a day.
• Night sleep – 10-12 hours.
• Daytime sleep – 3-4 full sleeps for 30-120 minutes.
• Intermediate dreams – 30-40 minutes each.

Reasons to see a doctor:

• Unsatisfactory gains in weight and height.
• Weakness or, conversely, increased excitability, frequent cries.
• Sleep disturbance, excessive sleepiness.
• Lack of visual, vocal reaction to the appearance of parents, sounds.
• Decrease/increase or asymmetry of muscle tone, when the tone is increased in the arms and decreased in the legs or increased on one side.
• The child does not pay attention to toys, does not follow them, does not try to reach them.
  He holds his head badly, does not try to roll over on his side even with the support of his parents, does not roar.

How to develop a child at 3 months

Educational toys:

• Children love the ergonomically shaped rattles that are easy to grab and hold; they happily explore the toys hanging from the sides of the crib, play with rattle-bracelets on the handles and rattle-socks on the legs, which rustle and ring unusually when stirred.
• Eyes follow moving musical mobiles, tumblers; can spend a long time on a developing game mat with arcs, because they have a lot of fun.
• The plastic mirror will catch the baby’s attention because of the curious reflection that appears when approaching the face and disappears when moving away.
• Babies like to look at bright colors, so color contrast pictures are preferred to stimulate the visual analyzer.

Variety of materials:

• Musical, squeaky, rattling, vibrating and soft-touch toys made of safe plastic, plush, cotton, silicone or wood are useful.
• The child is interested in hearing the names and touching household items of different materials and textures: storage baskets, soft paper, diapers, tubes of cream, buttons sewn to the fabric, thick and light curtains, terry and waffle textiles, fabrics and wallpaper with a printed pattern, other surrounding objects.

Speech skills

• Talk as often and as long as possible during games, walks, hygiene procedures, massage, gymnastics.
• It is desirable that the baby sees the face of his interlocutor: this helps him to compare intonation and facial expressions.
• While walking, show and describe what you see, you can even depict, for example, how a dog barks; share emotions and actions: how brightly the sun shines and the birds sing in the flood around you, how you walk around a puddle, how other children play, and where a big red car is going.
• Read rhyming lines, nursery rhymes, rhymes, jokes, songs: the more often the child hears speech, the more varied the sounds he repeats.

Coordination:

• Hang toys at different levels so that the baby tries to reach them.
• When the baby is lying on his stomach, place toys around him at different distances so that, catching them with his foot or hand, he hears sounds and tries to repeat the action. Gradually move the toys away so that the baby tries to get them.
• Putting the toy in the child’s hand, say “take it”, and when taking it back – “give it back”.
• It is useful to alternate body positions on the back and on the stomach and vice versa, on the right and left sides, to ride a large gymnastic ball.

Psychomotor development:

• Babies are responsive to joint participation in adult affairs, any communication with family members and pets; at such moments they are very active and inquisitive.
• You can do a simple set of exercises and a light massage.
• To stimulate support on the forearms, it is necessary to lay the baby on his stomach among bright toys as often as possible – he will want to examine them, try to rise on his forearms, reach out to them.

What can be done while awake:

• In a room where the family has gathered or the mother is busy with household chores, the child can be put reclining in a special chair or swing to watch what is happening and communicate, or simply spread a warm soft blanket and unfold toys on it.
• It is best at this age to put the baby on the floor while awake.
• A sling will support close contact during household chores.
• Spend at least two hours outside in warm weather and 40-60 minutes in winter. At air temperatures below -10 degrees with a three-month-old baby, walking for more than half an hour is not recommended.
• Gymnastics, “mother’s massage”, dancing on the hands, walking around the apartment and on the balcony, talking will help in the motor, psychomotor development of the baby and become for him a manifestation of love and attention from adults.

WHO advice for parents:

• A 0-3 month old baby needs at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily, for example, ten minutes in the morning, afternoon and evening.
• The child must not be kept in a car seat, bassinet, stroller, or other child restraint or restraint for more than 60 minutes. During waking hours, so that the baby does not get tired in one position of the body, you need to change one activity to another.
• The child needs proper rest: sleep norms for him are from 14 to 17 hours a day, so parents must adhere to the regimen and make sure that the child sleeps for the prescribed time.
• It is not recommended to introduce a child to gadgets, TVs, tablets, phones until the age of one.
• Massage, air baths, bathing are still useful, but the sun is still dangerous (partial shade and good sunscreen are required).
• Close contact of mother and child, breastfeeding up to two or three years, use of a sling, joint night sleep are encouraged.

#advice for mom

#Baby development

#child development by months

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How to live a woman in a family.

.. | Training Center Sinton

Just imagine: you come home and are barely alive. Suppose, back in kindergarten, the teacher snapped at you: “Why are you picking up the child so late?”, The child was capricious on the way: “Carry me on the handles!” and demanded ice cream, which he can’t. We barely crawled to the house and then you remember that you have to go to the store, because there are no more products. And strength too. And the husband relaxes with the TV, litters his favorite seeds and is still unhappy that his dinner is delayed. It didn’t occur to him to look into the refrigerator himself and go to the store, especially to cook dinner for everyone. So, on the left, a capricious child pulls by the hand, on the right, a disgruntled husband slobbers seeds, and in the middle you, ready to howl … What to do? – we asked a professional psychologist, the founder of the training center “Sinton” Nikolai Ivanovich Kozlov.

– Let’s start with what not to do:

First: Don’t play the poor victim.

Acting out does not mean “imagining something that doesn’t exist”: the experience of “They hit the nag!!” here it will be completely sincere, from the liver. And yet, you can plunge into the state of the Unfortunate Victim,

How do you do it? Unhappy eyes, a little stoop, a feeling of immense fatigue and no mood … So?

but you can – do not do this.

That is, the eyes are alive, stooping does not suit you, fatigue is normal in the evening, the mood is “I’m at home.”

So?

Second: Don’t blame or be offended.

“Well, why is everything on me, why am I, iron, or something, but why is it, it won’t fall apart, a damned parasite, you need to have a conscience” and so on, it’s better to leave all this completely fair internal monologue as internal. And even better – do not even deploy it inside, but occupy yourself with something else.

Well, for example, take and enjoy, crunching, deliciously eat an apple. If you don’t mind, another apple can be offered to your husband and other children.

Further, in this situation, you are required to at least:

Say to yourself: “I am ready for this situation.”

A small detail: present situations in a positive way, listing what you have. Not what you lack. So let’s get started:

You have working arms, legs, and a head. You live in your own apartment, you have your own child (by the way, not disabled and even smart), you have relatives, a profession and a job, you have a man.

If you find it difficult to call him a husband because of his parasitism, then it is impossible not to call him a man. He copes with this. And you have this man.

Are you prepared for this life situation?

And before you start listing what you lack, remind yourself: “Nobody owes me anything.”

Actually, I want a lot of things: strawberries with cream all year round, so that Vanka gets smarter faster and two lives, for example. I want it, but no! And if I make claims on this account,

To whom? Well, to whom . .. Yes, the same life!

I will always feel deprived. But is it worth it? And if I know that no one owes me anything – neither my wife, nor my mother, nor my life, then there are no complaints against them. And a lot of gratitude – because, in addition to troubles, they give a lot of warmth, gifts and care.

If, of course, you pay attention to them.

These two points: “I am ready for this situation” and “Nobody owes me anything” are the basis of a competent attitude to family life, and if you have done all this, you are already wise, great and amazing. But above this minimum program, you can also try to complete the maximum program. We deal with this in great detail and with soul in a special group for those who want to solve all issues together and with love.

So, now the maximum program: “I am responsible for getting help in this situation. This is my responsibility.”

If there is no help for you (and there is still no help, as you notice), it is simply because you have not organized it. At least they didn’t try. Or they tried, but did it not quite correctly. And the only person responsible for providing you with timely help and support is you.

See how convenient! You don’t even have to go far!

“I can ask for help.”

Forgive me for reminding you, the person in charge, but for some reason this turns out to be relevant for many: “You can ask for help.”

Somehow… Why? It is better to show self-sufficiency and suffer proudly than to humiliate yourself with a request. Yes?

I remind or inform: idleness is also boring and you get tired of it too, on the other hand, everyone wants to feel big and significant, so a wife’s timely and well-structured request will be a gift to her husband.

So, a thing pleasant for both.

So, after supper (yes, it needs to be built), they approached the husband, hugged, kissed, then warmly:

– Dear, I have a request for you. You know, I probably overestimated my strength, but now I feel that I have become very tired and sometimes become irritated. If you notice this, please forgive me. But in this regard, I have a request to you: let’s do all the big and heavy purchases together on Saturday? It’s only a hassle for you to walk through the air and stand next to me when I buy everything. You will spend two hours, and after that you and I will have all the basic products and you will have me cheerful and beautiful. How do you like such a wise project?

Note that we are only talking about Saturday. So far… And this is smart!

If the husband is a wise leader, he will consider this project carefully. And if you are attentive, you will see that this appeal itself is completely decomposed according to the algorithm of a competent appeal to the leader, namely:

1. Introduction.

– I have a request for you … (briefly, to attract attention and direct it in the right direction)

2. The essence of the problem.

And why is it bad: reportage, with facts, without emotions and any attacks, jokes and hidden accusations.

3. What needs to be done.

That is, “what to do and whether to do it at all” – this, of course, will be decided by the leader, but it is easier for him to make his decision when he hears the suggestions of others.

4. How do you think this can be done, and why is it good.

Your supervisor’s specific solutions may also be of interest.

5. What can you do and what is the request to him.

It is very important that you show that you take on most of the problems. Well, and what you can’t handle and what is required from the leader – he, feeling his size and indispensability, will take over.

And next week you will go to the market for potatoes, cabbage and seeds – together. Hooray!

Author: Kozlov N.I.
Placed on the site http://www.syntone.ru. When publishing an article, a link to the site is required.

Cases and reasoning of the surgeon Roginsky – Portrait of a doctor – Rusfond

3.08.2018

Portrait of a doctor

Heading Sergey Mostovshchikov

At the age of 83, Professor Vitaly Roginsky could easily feed the pigeons in the park and beat the radiator with a gnarled stick so that the neighbors would not listen to rap loudly. But Vitaly Vladislavovich goes to work – he performs complex operations on children, straightens their faces, jaws and skulls, and then sorts papers, holds meetings, teaches subordinates to make decisions and cough correctly, writes poetry, and in his free time he takes a gun, a dog and goes hunting . We can say that, by and large, the work of Roginsky is that every day he helps humanity save face. This is true, even if only for formal reasons. The professor is not just an eminent surgeon, he is also the head of the well-known metropolitan clinic for pediatric maxillofacial surgery, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, Honored Scientist of the Russian Federation. But still, this is a literal interpretation of Roginsky. In order to properly appreciate his role in shaping the image of a modern person, you need to listen to how Vitaly Vladislavovich talks about fate, children, dogs, hands, brains, death, humanism, money and proven ways not to blow your nose in a fist.

Word and destiny

To be honest, why I chose medicine for myself, then, probably, I must say that this is an accident. From childhood, I was more interested in biology – the life of birds, animals, I loved the forest. But you know what’s interesting. There is a philosophical statement – I don’t remember who its author is – and so it is like this: a person becomes what he called himself before people. Curiously, I once called myself in front of people, in front of the boys from the street, namely a doctor. He said that I would be a “face surgeon”, as I interpreted it then. I don’t know why I felt that way – I didn’t even know that maxillofacial surgery existed. Probably, even then I liked the face of a person, the very opportunity to do something important on it.

I kind of had this thought in reserve, but in fact I decided to become a geographer in order to travel. I was born in Tver, but I chose the Saratov State University, Faculty of Geography, and began to prepare documents there. And suddenly it turned out that it was from this year that new exams were introduced there – mathematics in writing and orally. I was not at all friendly with mathematics, so the issue was resolved: I began to prepare for a medical university, according to a fallback.

Came to enter Moscow, together with a friend, I do not remember, in the First or Second Medical School. But we were received very badly here, they did not even accept documents. Why, they say, are you in Moscow? Are you that smart? You have a Faculty of Medicine opening in Tver this year, come back. I’m straight to Tver. I applied to the Faculty of Medicine and missed half a point. Then they offered me: do you want us to take you to dentists? Nowhere to go, come on. So I started studying dentistry.

And then another accident. In my fifth year, I went into exile. For student pranks, I was expelled for a year with two classmates. We vigorously celebrated the passing of the session, made noise, and then wrote on the door in the hostel – maybe even obscene, I don’t remember now – that we should not be disturbed. The commandant complained to the secretary of the party organization, and we were disturbed. She just needed to do something in terms of discipline, and she did. She sent us to work as dentists in the most remote corners of the region.

I ended up in the Flat – there is such a place, it is considered filthy. Gluhoman – 50 kilometers from the railway, on the border with the Pskov and Novgorod regions. I arrived there and worked with great pleasure for a whole year. I was very well received there, I was entrusted with a lot. I worked as a surgeon and a therapist, and most importantly, I acquired a taste for the profession. He returned as the most natural zemstvo doctor. He knew how to do everything, like Turgenev’s Suchok, even to do medical examinations of collective farmers in the X-ray room. Therefore, when I nevertheless graduated from the institute, in gratitude for the fact that I was so well received in Ploskosh, I voluntarily asked to go there. Moreover, the places are beautiful, I hunted there with pleasure.

And so I went there, worked for four and a half years, went through a wonderful school, saw a lot, and then entered graduate school in Moscow in the section of pediatric maxillofacial surgery. As promised once to the boys on the street.

Children and dogs

I love children, but I was always afraid to approach them. In his student years, he even missed classes when the children had to treat their teeth. I could not bear all this crying, I ran out into the street and walked. I was forced to work out later, these children’s tests I received with great difficulty. But somehow it turned out that he ended up where he was running from. They offered to go to the new department of pediatric dentistry, they promised that everything would be advanced there, there would also be surgery.

I remember when I got on the first round, I was terrified, my heart sank. The assistant professor goes and says: so, this one is there, this one is here, this one will be operated on tomorrow, this is not necessary. Scattered the children as if by the way. I was shocked. The thought that there is a child in front of you, and you are approaching him with a scalpel, is not easy. But then I got used to it pretty quickly. And now, you know, when I have to operate on adults, I am not very pleased. They smell of tobacco, wine. And the child… You make a face for him and you understand: you are making a future for a person. For example, former patients come to me now, some of them are 60 years old, they already have grandchildren, and I look and see: I influenced their fate.

Therefore, I really appreciate the doctors who go to “childhood”, I always help them. Usually everyone chooses an adult clinic, an adult department to become plastic surgeons – then they lift their eyebrows, remove wrinkles, straighten their breasts, earn money. It’s not bad. But I love it when it’s good. I say to everyone about myself: I am a good person. And this is my secret. Thanks to him, I come into contact with the children in a maximum of ten seconds. So he came, for the first time in his life he sees me, and I’m still in a dressing gown, he’s scared. And after three to five seconds, he already begins to smile, we are friends. He just feels that I am a good person, both in tone and in gestures. In general, when you know children, you know a lot. For example, I can approach any dog, even the most terrible, and it will not bite me – I will persuade it. So children learn the main thing: to be simpler and not to be cunning. These are excellent skills.

Hands and brains

In general, what are the requirements for a surgeon? First of all, he should work with his head, not with his hands. You can teach a bear to work with your hands. When I bring up my doctors, I tell them such a fable, I offend them. Here, I say, a bear. He can be taught to ride a bicycle and even a motorcycle. But only in the circus and in a circle. And you can’t let a bear out on a motorcycle on the street – his head doesn’t work.

They say about many surgeons: golden hands, and about me too. I don’t like this proverb. The head must be golden. For me, for example, as a surgeon, the highest happiness is to cancel the operation, to refuse it, to tell the patient that he does not need it. Now, if a patient comes to me, I examine him and say: you don’t need to go under the knife, it will go away with you or, for example, it won’t develop – this is the highest, I think, achievement. Although I do any well-known operations, of any complexity – I was involved in the reconstruction of the skull, and removed tumors – but I repeat: I consider the cancellation of the operation the main merit of a good doctor.

But there are such doctors – and this is quite common among surgeons – people call it “itchy hands”. I really want to do something. He doesn’t know how, but he wants to. We have to intervene somewhere. The enthusiasm is so professional. I think it should be restrained. I’m a professor, I’m specially looking after, watching this. For example, a surgeon comes to me and says: let me do this. I say, you don’t know how to do it. And he replies: and you tell me.

How do you say “tell”? I went to this for a long, long time, and he will do it right now. These are terrible things. A balanced doctor should understand with his head: any intervention is not an easy thing for a person. You can screw it up so that he will then sort it out for the rest of his life. Therefore, you must first learn to feel responsible for your decisions. And for this – to learn to think correctly.

Humanism and death

Modern doctors – they do not have good basic training, they do not know life, a person did not die in their hands. If something happens to them, there is always the head of the department or a professor at hand, whom you can call, and he will come running from the house and intervene. It is rare when a student doctor is able to take responsibility for a big deal – he has senior comrades for this.

I can relate such a case. We once worked on the basis of the hospital of St. Vladimir, and a boy is being operated on there: he came from the skating rink, bleeding from the back of his head – he fell, and a girl hit him with a skate. They call me, it’s already twelve at night, they say: we can’t stop the bleeding from the skull, come urgently. I arrive, everyone is at a loss, they have already bandaged the external carotid artery, they have already transfused as much blood as he had at all, and the blood is gushing. I immediately realized what was the matter. I touched it with my finger, and I saw that there was a hole in the bone. That is, it was not the artery that was damaged by the skate, but the bone was pressed through, you just had to guess. I pinched it with my finger, I say: give me the wax quickly. What for? They gave me wax, I softened it, covered the hole, I said: that’s it, I went home, thank you. Do you understand? An experience. What if I didn’t exist? A person could die.

That’s why I’ve been tormented by this question for many years: there are fewer and fewer humanist doctors, Chekhov’s characters like that. How to return them? Send them into the wilderness, like me once? So they will not return from there – they get married there, they will learn how to earn money. And leave them with you – they will call around the clock.

Medicine and poverty

The commercialization of medicine is normal. The whole world is following this path. The state in no country, even in America, can not close all the issues of medicine. It is impossible to provide assistance to all patients for free. So different types of commerce in medicine are common in all developed countries. Charitable organizations are involved in this. Even in our country, but to a lesser extent – our Ministry of Health does not like these things, puts hairpins. He says: why charity, we will do everything ourselves. They won’t do everything themselves. Because this filthy CHI policy – there is nothing worse, it harms more than it does good. It has been said that assistance under compulsory medical insurance is provided in full to the extent that the system can provide it. Fine, but the system can’t do much.

A simple example. You need a filling for your tooth. You can put it from cement, from the same kind of house they build it from, or you can from a light-curing composite material. The difference is huge, and the MHI does not provide it: you do not receive the highest category of assistance under the MHI – only the lowest and the average, that’s all.

I had a stroke two or three years ago. It happened while hunting in the Tver region – I love all kinds of hunting, from bear to snipe, I have a dog, there are a lot of guns. And then there was a stroke. All acquaintances, doctors, directors joined. By pull, let’s say, I ended up in Moscow, at the Sklifosovsky Institute. For four hours I lay half-naked in the corridor. Nothing worked, no calls. What I saw there, it’s a nightmare – I have no other word for it. Well, here’s the resuscitation. Separated by curtains. There, a woman is lying, who is delirious, talking utter nonsense, walking under herself, and here the men are all in one ward. Sometimes a paramedic comes in. Horror. I escaped from there ten days later, as soon as I was told that I could more or less move. And I immediately moved to rehabilitation in a private clinic.

So I say straight out: whoever can afford to be treated for money in a good clinic should be treated for money in a good clinic with good professionals, who will be directed by those who have already been to them. And so, it’s just… Even in one institute you can’t go to just anyone. Here, for example, we have a lot of employees, and as a leader, I will say frankly: not everyone can be contacted.

Money and evil

Does money spoil doctors? I think they let a lot of people just be doctors. The salaries are meager. All these programs, when they are instructed to pay more, are all due to layoffs of other specialists, winding up hours, in short, due to the image. In reality, people need money. Yes, in my time I categorically refused money, when they thanked me, I was directly angry that they gave me money: “Get out of here” – my answer was always. The only thing is if by cunning. One diplomat once gave me a bottle of whiskey. Was it possible to refuse whiskey? And there were 100 dollars. Clever. Well, what am I, then I will run to give him these 100 dollars?

That’s why I honestly tell doctors: you know what, you can’t extort money! Extortion is evil. And you can not take any money in advance. But if you treated a person well, he sees that you have put your soul, knowledge into him, he is grateful to you – you can not refuse such gratitude. Here’s my setup, and I’m not shy about it. This allows me to see what is happening. If we have an extortionist here, we immediately get rid of it – this is unacceptable.

Cough and calendar

In general, a doctor should pay a lot of attention to etiquette issues. For example, I get annoyed when people misbehave at the table. Let’s say they take bread with a fork – you can’t think of anything worse. Or they don’t know how to blow their nose and cough. They cough into the palm of their hand – khe-khe – and then they greet with this hand. I can’t stand it. I weaned all my employees from this, tough. It is necessary to cough into a handkerchief, but a handkerchief is never at hand. So you need to turn away, bend your arm and sneeze and cough into the back of your elbow.

I even think all the time: should I give a lecture about this? How to eat, how to talk, how to sneeze, how to defecate, how to brush your teeth. In this regard, our people are exceptionally ignorant, uncultured. Even today I am sitting, and in front of the person – I will not name the position. And now he flips through the papers, and his finger drools on his tongue, as if by the way. A tall man, but his finger is procrastinating, well, how can this be? I do not understand.

It is better for a tall person not to procrastinate, but to think about something important. For example, do you know what book I consider the most important? I even wrote a poem about it. There is a snippet like this:

But someone rules the rhythm of life,

Any river has a channel.

Who sets milestones for us every day?

The roads of life are wide.

And moving towards some goal,

You clearly know that when,

And in the heat, and in the cold, and in the blizzard,

Weeks, months, years.

Invisible rhythm, it rules everything,

I thank him for everything.

He sets milestones in our life,

Praise, praise the calendar.

Calendar! Because for me the main book of wisdom is a calendar.

Truth and beauty

By virtue of my profession, I make people face, I try to restore the beauty that they have lost. But in order to save face in life, a person needs other forces. You have to be decent. Don’t do bad deeds. Do not cheat. Don’t steal. And this is quite enough for real beauty.

Love and chocolates

Popular sayings of V.V. Roginsky from the book “To Friends and Myself for the Anniversary” (quotes collected and published by subordinates at their own expense):

With such teeth they will soon be evicted from Moscow.